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Strong Family, Stronger Ummah (Part 2)

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Karim Abuzaid

Channel: Karim Abuzaid

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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Leila salatu salam ala rasulillah salam, O Allah, Allah, Allah,

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Allah

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Mohammed and Abdullah who

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along with suddenly wa Sallim wa barik ala Sayidina Muhammad in

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my dear respected brothers and sisters in Islam solomani

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Allah wa barakato

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We ask Allah subhana wa tada by the virtue of his beautiful names and lofty attributes to bless

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our gathering to accept from us

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place affection amongst our hearts

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unite us on the truth

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a news us to serve is Dean

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you're

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like we mentioned

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the theme for our gatherings

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this weekend

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and the following weekend inshallah his family and children

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a strong family

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means a stronger Alma.

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Michael, we mentioned

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the first brick

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brick in a wall.

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The first brick in the Omani is the breadth of the firm.

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And when the spec is established, followed correctly,

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that means it will be able to face the challenges.

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the right environment will be prevailed for the next generation to come into this world.

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And this is how we're gonna change this.

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And this takes time at home. This could take generations. But so Pamela

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reaching the end of the road is not my job and your job.

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Seeing the ultimate harvest, leave this to Allah.

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But you and me should contribute as much as we can.

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And what we can contribute is our own families. This is the best place that a person can make an investment for the soma. And for the future.

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I'm gonna throw some numbers at you. Just to show you how alarming This is.

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The number

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of

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spouse disagreement,

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this agreements, the number of cases pertaining to spouse or the spouse conflicts, hopefully I'm translating this correctly.

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In a country like Egypt, the year 2016. Three and a half million cases

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shall I say?

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conflicts between husbands and wives we are still married.

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So when whether they are in the process of divorce, or about to get divorce, number of cases in front of the judges waiting for that they don't actually have enough judges to deal with the cases in order to unite them back. All decided to this resolve the relationship the marriage contract 3.5 million cases

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the percentage of divorce in a country like United Arab Emirates has reach

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60% the year 2020.

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That means every 100 family 100 people getting married 60 get divorced.

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60 of them get divorced.

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Men

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Now,

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like I said, I would like this to be a discussion today, I look at you and the majority of you are married.

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I'm in the same boat like you.

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What are the causes

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for such

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any, of course, not every country is like that I'm sure that some other countries they, they have reasonable ratio and so forth. But this is an indicator

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that there is somehow a problem. And that first brick in the oma.

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Now, the question that I want to present to you and I'm looking for brothers and sisters

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can send us the comments and their answers through

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you know, messages, or any form of writing would be great. What are the causes for such a disturbing

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condition of marriages in the Muslim world? Who wants to volunteer? basically want to list some reasons for such a thing?

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Yes.

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walaikum salam wa barakato.

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finances.

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Money Matters, in what aspect that money matters.

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So you want to tell me that they are disagreeing on how to spend the income?

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Oh, all right. We'll come back to this individually, but why not combine more reasons?

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Yes.

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Some of the argument is that one of the couple is religious and the other is not religious. So they don't have

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as their constitution split. Beautiful. We'll come back to that. That's excellent. Can we anybody has a pen please spell a pin for me.

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So we heard financials

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and deciding how to distribute the income.

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And we mentioned the conflict regarding committing to the religion or not between the spouses.

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Number three, you said social media, in what aspect the social media would affect marriages.

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How would that influence a husband to be abusive to his wife or a wife to be abusive to her husband?

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I see what you mean. Okay, I got you.

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Okay, those are three for

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weakness of Eman as a whole.

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Okay,

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let's just see more and then we'll come back for repetition. Yes.

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Aleikum Salama.

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Yeah, lack of knowledge. Okay.

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Okay.

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Any other suggestions?

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Yes.

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Yeah. not following the rights of the spouses in the relationship.

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Okay.

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interference by what?

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Like imams

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or other family members interference and loss. Okay. That's a famous one. Yes.

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Yes.

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Okay.

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Any

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any other additions?

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Shall we start?

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I think the root cause

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of this is expectations.

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You know, knowing what to expect, helps you to deal with it.

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Somehow

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we were brought up

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to have very high expectations about marriage

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this institution

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of marriage

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it will face no challenges whatsoever.

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And this is incorrect.

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Let me tell you and you heard this from me last week, that every single day

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Iblees and this was established in Hadith, fragile in a Muslim Hadith jabber bin Abdullah of the Allahumma

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every single day Iblees Satan crowns a genie who managed to separate a husband and a wife

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every day

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he would line them up in front of him that gene who helps Satan

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and each one of them would stand up and cite his accomplishment for the day until this one stands up and says I was able to separate a husband and wife

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now and and that's the best achievement

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imagine a police is encouraging every day to promote what

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separation

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further shaitan Elgin

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Ababa chelten ins

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how shafiul is work?

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sorcery.

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sorcery hacer la sorcery, envy, sorcery and evil I. This is how they work.

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There is a verse a fluffy saltimbocca.

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This verse is is called area to say

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almost half a beach.

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What about that Lucia teen wala Mukesh Suleiman Wanaka for us with a man with kin Tina cafaro you are Leo moon and NASA sahana OMG lol mela cany be back. Tawana Ruth, when you are Lima Nina hadn't had a cooler in NEMA. No fitna Allah tactful. Look, Allah subhanho wa Taala named the most devastating

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consequence of sorcery

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the most damaging one, ferrata Allah Muna min Houma Matthew ferry, akuna de binal model he was alluding

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to they would actually go and learn sorcery, which is anybody who learns sorcery is yep for

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because there's a condition for these Jin to help the sorcerers. They must

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take their covenant that they disbelieved.

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So look, they learn from them sorcery in order to divide separate between a man and his wife

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shayateen iljin share Athenians

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I mentioned this before, in a funny way, but it's really a grieving fun

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that we were brought up with the environment that you know, they are what the culture that they got married and they lived happily ever after.

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Don't use that line. The story ends date.

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That's not true.

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Marriage is an institution which will face a lot of challenges

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for

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expectations are high, not realistic. These young men and women when they go into that relationship, especially if there is that last for love

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Again, I stress Islamia f4 has another concept of love.

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Then the concept which is circulated and promoted in Hollywood, in Bollywood,

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in the culture, where we live, we have a whole different concept of love.

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That the style that they are talking about this is called lustful Love, love, someone famous MLH

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that you lost, you have that lost or the person

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and normally that dies with you, you know, being with that person.

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But the love that Islam talks about is totally different to this

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is not that time, that

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that love that you have for your spouse is something that Allah Subhana Allah places in your heart for her.

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Brothers and sisters in Islam. Pay attention to this

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issue. rhodiola Juana says I have never been jealous from any of the wives of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam,

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more than the jealousy that I had towards her deja.

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What is hot DJ at this time

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is that

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her DJ is dead.

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Imagine she is jealous from a dead woman.

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To the extent that one day I shall have the luminary view of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam because of him mentioning her a lot.

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He would say to her to him Salallahu alaihe salam What's wrong with you? Hamra shape cleaning

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teeth fallen down because of her old age, she's really referring to the fact that she was older than you. And we know that Khadija Viola was older than the Prophet sallallahu wasallam. But the 15 years the one that stuff 10 years 15 we don't know. We don't know how many years there is nothing authentic that we can base a number of years of age difference between the prophet and Khadija. But we know for a fact that she was older than him. hombre, Queenie, halachot, Fidel, she perished already.

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At the della con la hiren Mina.

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Allah has replaced her for better women than her. What's wrong with you?

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Here is what the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, Yeah, Asia or Asia laqad Rosie to

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her love is placed in my heart, I can tell.

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So, when we talk about loving Islam,

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that's the fight that we're talking about that a loss of Hannah with Allah will place the affection and the connection between you and your wife.

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Now we want to

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sum those two up and add them up. The fact that the institution will face a lot of the marriage institution and you will face a lot of challenges. A lot of enemies. A lot of

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you know people gym trying to destroy your marriage. Add to this. You want the loss of Hannah mattarella to make you and your spouse can you find that who plays with that light.

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Now, the only way the only way

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for you to do this

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is to choose the right spouse according to the Sharia.

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And the brothers mentioned so many causes are so many reasons. But the one reason which stands out

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is a lot of the marriages. Existing marriages as we speak were never based except few were

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Never based on the basis of Sharia.

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You went and married because of other reason than the Sharia then that he

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or she is my relative.

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She is beautiful. He is handsome.

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He is a successful man. He's a doctor.

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He is an engineer.

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She has a blue hair, blue eyes. yellow hair.

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That's a look at the marriages. Oh, my mother recommended her even though By the way, this is one of the best criteria that you should consider. All of these are good criterias

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Listen, don't think that I should disregard this law. All of these are good criterias

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but the thing here is a lot of these marriages compromise the religion.

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The religion was compromised.

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And I tell you out of a lie, personal experiences

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a sister would call me

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shave my father wanted me to marry this man who is a doctor

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and I wanted to marry a man who has been

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this doctor doesn't pray five times.

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He drinks I learned that he drinks

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so I call the father Salaam Aleykum. Actually your daughter approached me and she is so and so. What do you think we should do?

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Is that a good thing that you do for us? You're the Guardian you're supposed to choose the right husband for your daughter the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said that if a man comes to you proposing you should look into their character into their Deen

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this person Your daughter is telling me that he drinks you know the father told me a couple of times Allah I heard this was shaped in sha Allah He will repent

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in the one of them said that the other one did not pray in sha Allah He will pray

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are we supposed to base our marriages on such

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or on facts on facts?

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This is of course a scenario when

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one of the spouses are into religion and the other one is not and that spouse is this spouse who are into the religion they ended up compromising their religion and now after the marriage they want to go back to the religion and you know they want to

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now we come to the scenario that the brother mentioned which is really a very interesting scenario.

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A very interesting scenario.

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You get those two

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those are kids are what

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we have to put a stop to is gonna burn the lights.

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We have to we have to

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just bring them here, bring them here.

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Catch them bring them here. Please.

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Just bring them here. Bring them here.

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So they are not doing it from here.

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Okay.

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Who's playing with the lights?

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by itself?

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Interesting.

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Okay,

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yeah, we have gin. We all have gin. We all each one of us has a genie. Yeah, they they come in the machine. Yeah, they try to take you out.

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If they're not in the machine where they will they be in the nightclub?

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The people who are in the nightclub they done the job already.

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So the bottom line here,

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here is a another scenario that we may come across.

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You get this devoted sisters

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or two brothers, two spouses, yeah, they got married

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two spouses who got married.

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One of them based that marriage on religion.

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And the other one, never been interested in the religion.

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Now, that spouse who compromise by marrying someone who never been interested in the religion to begin with, then after marriage, they would demand this husband or spouse or wife

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to commit to the religion.

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As you know, I never agreed to this. You knew that I was not praying.

00:26:07--> 00:26:13

You knew that I have never been doing this before. You can ask me to do something after Why?

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If you knew about this, this about me before marriage, why did you marry me.

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And sometimes this becomes a very problematic When,

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when, when there are children. And now that the voted spouse, let's assume it's the sister, once the children to be brought up as the voted Muslims,

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I want to bring them to the masjid. I want to bring them to Islamic schools. And the other one now, no, I want my kids to be like me to be free.

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Very interesting.

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Sometimes another scenario, which is the most common scenario that

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a marriage was established, on other basis, then the religion that two spouses never made the religion part of their deal.

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So after they get married,

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one of them goes to the ortho, he hears the hotbar

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by all the sudden their consciousness wakes up, they wake up from their sleep, which is good.

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But now they go back home and what they want, they want the other party to wake up right away like them.

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So you ended up with what

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and and the amazing piece again, you are the most challenging piece here

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is when you end up with children, and now they start fighting over the way these kids should be brought up.

00:28:03--> 00:28:09

Oh, you're gonna bring them up as terrorists. You want them to be fanatics. Oh, you

00:28:10--> 00:28:12

and you start having this argument.

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And that leads to a lot of future problems. And again, the institution was supposed to harbor

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and cater for the next generation because became an institution that is

00:28:33--> 00:28:35

certainly against

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that benefits and the will feed of the children.

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And this is the alarming piece.

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Of course, I would agree financials is an aspect. That's the reason the brother mentioned is a big aspect. But in my opinion, if religion is deed,

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and religion was a factor,

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when this relationship was established, I tell you right now, a devoted husband, a devoted wife will overcome any financial burden.

00:29:19--> 00:29:23

They will walk through it with no problem

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and they will not have any issue with one of the spouses deciding on how these financials should be dispersed. This disperse the annual should be channeled.

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Let me come back to the issue of

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love and affection.

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And

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the way that Islam sees it

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and how

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we should protect that

00:30:02--> 00:30:03

First of all,

00:30:05--> 00:30:09

when we spoke about the concept of love in Islam,

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we said that love

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is a feeling

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and affection

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that Allah subhanho wa Taala places in your heart

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towards your spouse.

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And this is the everlasting one.

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The other one exists and it's important

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which is the last for long

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which is the attraction the physical attraction, the attention.

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And let me tell you this is important to is extremely important.

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We actually read the Hadith in a movie Robin Sharma

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one,

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that one day he said to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam,

00:31:02--> 00:31:05

your Rasool Allah, or messenger of Allah.

00:31:06--> 00:31:09

I propose to a woman from an unsolved

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imagine

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what do you say? Imagine the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said to him, or he asked him, hell never lie.

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Did you look at her?

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Did you look at her to see if you're attracted to her or not?

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He said no.

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He said, feathers hub go funds or LA her. Look at her. For inaho aha, I knew deneva in a coma.

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This will certainly help to keep your relationship

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This is important.

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But the problem with this aspect it's a temporary aspect.

00:32:06--> 00:32:09

Number one, people change after marriage.

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You know, body change. You being with them all the time is different than previously when you saw them every now and then she's at home. You can have any time you can be with her anytime. So a little bit different becomes different.

00:32:32--> 00:32:37

When you really look at the verse, which spoke about marriage in Islam,

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woman a tea and Holla Holla comin fusi come as well. And later school Elijah.

00:32:46--> 00:33:07

One of the signs of Allah subhana wa Taala that he created for you, from your own selves, mates, spouses, so that you would find second rest with them. Look at this word, Allah in Akuma that awara ma

00:33:08--> 00:33:17

and he plays between two between you two things now what the love and Rama mercy

00:33:19--> 00:33:26

now, if that love doesn't exist anymore, then should be what? Rama? Tara from

00:33:28--> 00:33:30

the TV with the person with mercy.

00:33:31--> 00:33:40

She's a woman that Subhana Allah Allah has placed under your hand. Under your under your marriage. You can let her go with a world

00:33:42--> 00:33:43

with a world.

00:33:46--> 00:33:50

B she's assistance she's a woman. Be merciful to her.

00:33:53--> 00:33:58

Let us go back to the concept of love and how it's developed in Islam.

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Let me ask you this question first.

00:34:05--> 00:34:07

With which slim

00:34:08--> 00:34:09

do you

00:34:11--> 00:34:13

have that feeling of love?

00:34:14--> 00:34:15

What limb

00:34:17--> 00:34:18

What is love?

00:34:21--> 00:34:21

We're

00:34:23--> 00:34:23

in the heart.

00:34:25--> 00:34:26

Love is in the hearts right?

00:34:28--> 00:34:29

Can you help?

00:34:30--> 00:34:36

A person loves another person through his heart. That's the limit.

00:34:39--> 00:34:41

From here is the famous question.

00:34:43--> 00:34:44

Can I

00:34:47--> 00:34:49

command my heart right now?

00:34:51--> 00:34:52

My heart.

00:34:53--> 00:34:55

Of course you're gonna say the shape is crazy.

00:34:56--> 00:34:59

My heart Love Imus.

00:35:00--> 00:35:01

Can I do this?

00:35:03--> 00:35:05

Can you command your heart to love somebody

00:35:08--> 00:35:09

who controls your heart?

00:35:11--> 00:35:13

Who Allah.

00:35:15--> 00:35:17

So now Allah subhanho wa Taala will place

00:35:19--> 00:35:23

the love of somebody in your heart you have no control over it.

00:35:24--> 00:35:27

And this is what the prophet said to Ayesha he said what?

00:35:29--> 00:35:34

Her love was brought into my heart. Now I want to ask you a question

00:35:36--> 00:35:44

Can or do you think it makes sense that Allah would place in your heart the love of someone whom Allah does not love to begin with?

00:35:47--> 00:35:49

If I love as a love that person

00:35:50--> 00:35:52

then you will make you love that person.

00:35:54--> 00:35:57

Are you getting it or I'm on my own planet here

00:35:58--> 00:36:01

Make sense? Trying to use intellect here in this issue.

00:36:03--> 00:36:11

So normally for a lot of lays the love of somebody in your heart that Allah must work.

00:36:12--> 00:36:14

And we have an evidence for this.

00:36:15--> 00:36:19

Famous Hadith is Sana de gibreel. Ali Salaam,

00:36:21--> 00:36:22

Abu hurayrah I'm sorry.

00:36:24--> 00:36:33

If I have Bella who then when Allah Subhana Allah Allah loves somebody. Nada he breathed he will call upon jabril

00:36:35--> 00:36:48

and he will say yeah, gibreel or jabril in or hibou folarin and Edna phoolan Haber Oh jabril I love so the son of so loved him.

00:36:49--> 00:36:52

Imagine Allah will mention your name.

00:36:56--> 00:37:01

Then jabril Allah His solemn will call upon Lucena

00:37:02--> 00:37:04

means the angels.

00:37:05--> 00:37:26

Yeah, la Santa on angels. Indeed, Allah loves so and so love him. So the angels will love that person. Look at this, from my yoga hula, hula Babu, Phil, then Allah will place the love of the person in the hearts of the believers.

00:37:32--> 00:37:43

So, I want to show you how your choice of a spouse was detrimental of this. Now you go and choose someone who is not obedient to Allah.

00:37:44--> 00:37:46

Someone who doesn't believe in a law,

00:37:48--> 00:37:49

someone who does not pray.

00:37:50--> 00:37:53

Someone who's Allah angry was because of the sin.

00:37:55--> 00:38:01

Now how Allah is going to get you to love that person, how Allah is going to place the love of that person in your heart, your heart.

00:38:04--> 00:38:10

Just to show you it's only one mistake that a lot of people committed for us to have this crazy ratio

00:38:11--> 00:38:18

60% divorce rate 3.5 million cases, of

00:38:19--> 00:38:22

course conflicts between spouses.

00:38:23--> 00:38:26

Why? Because of this,

00:38:27--> 00:38:45

because their religion was 100% disregarded when the decision to marry that individual was was taken. I'm going to share with you a story that you probably heard it, you know, YouTube or something from me.

00:38:46--> 00:38:48

But that story happened in Egypt.

00:38:52--> 00:38:52

I young man

00:38:54--> 00:38:56

traveled from Egypt

00:38:58--> 00:39:02

to the United Arab Emirates to work, make money.

00:39:05--> 00:39:05

The Gulf

00:39:07--> 00:39:11

he spent almost 20 years he made a lot of money.

00:39:14--> 00:39:20

This is a long time ago before that, revolution in it and communication

00:39:22--> 00:39:24

for people to communicate with one another.

00:39:25--> 00:39:29

telegrams was the most common fastest.

00:39:31--> 00:39:33

This young man's

00:39:34--> 00:39:41

reach his 40s he decided it's time to come back to Egypt to start his family.

00:39:42--> 00:39:49

His father used to be the Imam in the village. The sheaf of them as chief will measure the quality of that.

00:39:52--> 00:39:54

Fine sent to him a telegraph.

00:39:56--> 00:39:57

Father

00:39:58--> 00:39:59

I'm coming down

00:40:00--> 00:40:01

I trust you

00:40:03--> 00:40:06

very soon I'm going to send you a power of attorney

00:40:07--> 00:40:08

choose our eye for me

00:40:10--> 00:40:13

and go ahead and put the marriage contract together

00:40:14--> 00:40:19

send me When do you want me to come down for my wedding? That's all what I need

00:40:21--> 00:40:22

I trust your choice.

00:40:24--> 00:40:27

Of course, this is a she and

00:40:29--> 00:40:31

he read the books

00:40:33--> 00:40:34

the book say choose what

00:40:36--> 00:40:42

religious wife someone who prays five times someone who has correct belief system.

00:40:44--> 00:40:48

But in a way he disregarded the other stuff, you know.

00:40:50--> 00:40:56

You know, Solomon, he mentioned beauty mentioned lineage mentions,

00:40:57--> 00:41:03

financial status or the occasion it was mentioned for a reason because these are attractions to

00:41:04--> 00:41:07

but he totally disregarded the first one.

00:41:09--> 00:41:14

And he he didn't really choose a very, but very religious woman

00:41:17--> 00:41:19

or life or Catherine

00:41:20--> 00:41:27

the destiny that this person's flight was delayed the night of the wedding three hours.

00:41:28--> 00:41:29

So he arrives home.

00:41:31--> 00:41:32

Of course the wedding is all done.

00:41:34--> 00:41:38

The bride is in the room, waiting for him.

00:41:39--> 00:41:46

Salaam Alaikum father, welcome back, my son, your gift inside the room. You're married to her

00:41:47--> 00:41:48

Yella enjoy.

00:41:50--> 00:41:51

So you went inside.

00:41:53--> 00:41:54

He was shocked.

00:41:58--> 00:42:00

Have you ever versus the watermelon?

00:42:02--> 00:42:07

And you became really disappointed with one of them. You know, this

00:42:09--> 00:42:17

guy like started, you know, we have a song in Egypt called salaamu singing Villa Maria Perez and his

00:42:20--> 00:42:23

father, really? You killed me?

00:42:24--> 00:42:27

This is too much is too much.

00:42:31--> 00:42:38

You know, one of the most interesting things there are that you should do when you're depressed is try to sleep.

00:42:40--> 00:42:44

Sleep is a good scheme, especially when you're feeling down.

00:42:45--> 00:42:50

So panela he went to sleep he said Listen, I'm tired. I just came from my flight was delayed.

00:42:52--> 00:42:53

So he went to sleep.

00:42:57--> 00:42:59

By all the sudden he wakes up

00:43:00--> 00:43:03

and he feels this sprinkles of water on him.

00:43:08--> 00:43:09

He looks at her

00:43:10--> 00:43:13

and she said to him by a law

00:43:15--> 00:43:20

I have never expected to get married because I know I'm not beautiful.

00:43:22--> 00:43:22

I know.

00:43:24--> 00:43:36

But I almost I always I'm sorry. Or almost in every salon I used to make dua Oh Allah, allow me to get married. So that I can apply this sooner.

00:43:39--> 00:43:39

What sooner

00:43:41--> 00:44:04

there is a hurry fe for famous nilima was soon an Abbe de Hadith Abu hurayrah or the Ummah one the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says, Rahim Allah hora jhulan poem Amina Lady for Allah. Allah subhanho wa Taala will have mercy on a man who will walk up at night to breed the head good.

00:44:05--> 00:44:05

solid

00:44:07--> 00:44:07

food

00:44:11--> 00:44:22

then he will wake up his family or his wife to pray at least with like the Prophet used to do yeah Isha kumiko theory, or is a wake up to pray with.

00:44:24--> 00:44:29

Now if the wife doesn't wake up, Nava holla hell man.

00:44:30--> 00:44:38

He will do what? sprinkle water on nocturia for not poor, it's a sprinkle.

00:44:41--> 00:44:44

She's the one that the lady wanted

00:44:45--> 00:44:59

to implement as a sweetener, Joakim Allahumma Ratan Meena li li for Salah. And Allah will be merciful to a women who will wake up at night to breathe 100

00:45:01--> 00:45:07

So my covert xojo her, then she would wake up her husband to pray

00:45:08--> 00:45:17

for him Lamia stated, if he does not pray, Nava heartily hilma she would sprinkle water on him

00:45:18--> 00:45:22

this is the cylinder and this is why I'm sprinkling water on you

00:45:23--> 00:45:37

wake up leave me on solid tonight being my husband in the morning divorce me and I will be happy with that you have fulfilled my wish and I will free you from me

00:45:39--> 00:45:41

the guy thought this is a good deal

00:45:43--> 00:45:47

this is yeah we can do that. That's a good way out

00:45:48--> 00:45:51

life this is a true story this happened

00:45:53--> 00:45:57

three Oracle's to chef one with that's all what he liked.

00:45:59--> 00:46:03

He was also young he brought up as he knows the demon

00:46:04--> 00:46:20

well law he this man Yeah, it was weird but Allah I said Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah. And I looked at her as if I'm looking at the most beautiful women my eyes ever seen.

00:46:22--> 00:46:23

Total change,

00:46:25--> 00:46:26

total change.

00:46:27--> 00:46:29

She just became so attractive to me.

00:46:30--> 00:46:32

The whole thing changed

00:46:35--> 00:46:37

our effort. There is a hadith out there.

00:46:39--> 00:46:44

A lot of non Muslims don't understand it. And they actually use it as

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evidence against us to establish that we're anti women.

00:46:49--> 00:46:52

That when the woman goes out,

00:46:54--> 00:47:04

wearing ornaments or adore adorning herself and becoming a when she walks out when she goes out of her house,

00:47:06--> 00:47:07

being attractive young,

00:47:08--> 00:47:17

young, she's not wearing proper dress. And she's booting all this makeup. Yani she's trying to establish Rafa shavon

00:47:18--> 00:47:23

shavon looks at her and he sees he says, How can I make a good use of you?

00:47:26--> 00:47:28

And he will make people look at her

00:47:31--> 00:47:34

and imagine shaitan with actually influence

00:47:35--> 00:47:36

why they

00:47:37--> 00:47:40

say influence the way that you see this woman

00:47:42--> 00:47:57

I mean, with all due respect, our sisters were always about what we're trying to explain this to our youth they sometimes you find somebody so attracted to a woman and it was this way you are the wife you like this. It's you never know why.

00:47:59--> 00:48:00

It's just

00:48:01--> 00:48:06

so here is a muscle panel with Allah made the heart of this man

00:48:08--> 00:48:09

except this woman

00:48:11--> 00:48:13

by the way, where they got married,

00:48:14--> 00:48:20

they have grandchildren now. And all his children are imams for fourth cron.

00:48:26--> 00:48:28

However, the one thing that we all compromised

00:48:30--> 00:48:57

becomes the variable that you really need to face the challenges become the variable which can establish that affection and love that mercy that you need from the other party that a religious woman by law here what there is a deficit and I feel sorry, I feel sorry. Or I feel sorry for the youth because there is no plenty of those now.

00:48:59--> 00:49:01

You know, a lot of the

00:49:02--> 00:49:08

the scholars they say why the victory is not coming to the Muslims.

00:49:09--> 00:49:23

Why the Muslims are not as victorious as these two because the one manufacturer the Muslims excelled in is not working, you know, manufacture their own production of the next generation.

00:49:26--> 00:49:35

That when you want to align some of the brothers for them to get married, they travel all Sherman, California. Do you know I'm in New York.

00:49:37--> 00:49:38

I'm in Florida.

00:49:40--> 00:49:41

Looking for

00:49:43--> 00:49:48

this woman and I know these brothers they know exactly what they're looking for. They can find them.

00:49:50--> 00:49:57

They can find them because they are very careful also because a lot of a lot of the sisters they may pretend but

00:49:58--> 00:49:59

when you actually

00:50:00--> 00:50:14

Go into the subject matters. You find emptiness you find only maybe a, you know, a dress code. That's all what you find. For again, yes, what?

00:50:15--> 00:50:20

Unfortunately, the reason why you're facing because we compromise this.

00:50:21--> 00:50:21

Now

00:50:23--> 00:50:25

let's come to some practical,

00:50:27--> 00:50:28

practical

00:50:30--> 00:50:37

causes that we actually do pose ourselves, we contribute to them, we contribute to their presence in our lives.

00:50:38--> 00:50:44

Now, I just told you a minute ago, that every single day, Satan

00:50:45--> 00:50:50

crowns, another Genie, for separating a husband and wife

00:50:52--> 00:50:55

will lie By Allah, an honest question.

00:50:57--> 00:51:02

Do you have pictures of living souls hanging in your walls?

00:51:03--> 00:51:07

Even you don't have to answer me? That's between you and Allah.

00:51:09--> 00:51:15

Even if these pictures are the pictures of your loved ones that will include your parents, your wife, your children?

00:51:20--> 00:51:26

If the answer is yes, did you read that Hadith that angels do not enter the house?

00:51:30--> 00:51:33

angels do not enter that house.

00:51:36--> 00:51:40

For you, do you know that some Muslims do have dogs in the house?

00:51:42--> 00:51:49

First of all, so panela just by having a dog in the house, living inside the house.

00:51:51--> 00:51:55

That person loses to clear out of reward every day.

00:51:56--> 00:52:03

As of Allah Most of those people normally they don't pray, so he's losing already credit when there is no credit to begin with.

00:52:05--> 00:52:13

But again, we go back to the question that angels do not enter a house where there is a dog living inside it.

00:52:17--> 00:52:26

Now, if angels are not living in this house, the question is who is living who will enter them but the shouting but the gym.

00:52:31--> 00:52:33

These are issues that we have to deal with.

00:52:35--> 00:52:43

If we want to bring about happiness into our homes, we want to bring the smile back when our kids we need to make sure that any

00:52:44--> 00:52:49

a lot of people are worried about us establishing the Sharia in the United States of America.

00:52:50--> 00:52:59

Or these Muslims are coming to America to establish the Sharia. Don't worry that Muslims are unable to establish the Sharia inside their own homes.

00:53:00--> 00:53:03

That's part of the idea that you shouldn't have that stuff inside the house.

00:53:04--> 00:53:10

That's that's not surely our to do to do this harems music, stuff inside the house.

00:53:12--> 00:53:22

We have to make sure that the houses are environments which are inviting to the angels to the mercy of Allah subhanho wa Taala.

00:53:24--> 00:53:26

Where there is no harm is committed there are

00:53:27--> 00:53:34

no sins is committed. And when you see your spouse committing a sin inside the house, your son, your daughter, your father,

00:53:36--> 00:53:37

then try to fix it.

00:53:39--> 00:53:42

Because Allah Subhana Allah Allah will not bless that house.

00:53:44--> 00:53:47

When was the last time you read Surah Al Baqarah in your house.

00:53:50--> 00:53:53

When was the last time that you braid nephila in your house?

00:53:55--> 00:54:32

All of these if one can contribute to the bad environment inside a Muslim home, where we want to bring about peace and tranquility into that family into that love into that relationship in order to fill it with love. The liaison for Jani, we stopped here for the sake of time, inshallah we still have what, three minutes? Let's see if we have questions in Sharla. And we'll stop here and we'll continue. But next week, I would like the youth

00:54:34--> 00:54:43

the youth sitting in the back to be in the front. Why? Because I'm going to talk about how can you start a family

00:54:46--> 00:54:59

if you're not married, then how can you go about getting married? insha Allah and how can you start your own family even later, what to look for in a spouse and how to look for it and why

00:55:00--> 00:55:04

Should you look for it, the LIDAR? But if you don't have questions,

00:55:06--> 00:55:09

just to show you an evidence

00:55:10--> 00:55:14

for what I have mentioned, all of what I said,

00:55:15--> 00:55:24

and I'm going to share with you the story which you all know, or you heard, often times repeated by speakers like myself.

00:55:26--> 00:55:26

Omar

00:55:28--> 00:55:29

Alon

00:55:30--> 00:55:35

used to spend his nights being the leader of the Muslims,

00:55:36--> 00:55:41

and finding out how the state is serving the citizens.

00:55:43--> 00:55:44

Anyone has complains.

00:55:46--> 00:55:51

He got tired. He sat next to a house.

00:55:52--> 00:55:56

And he heard that conversation between a mother and her daughter.

00:55:58--> 00:56:01

The mother is commanding the daughter

00:56:02--> 00:56:04

to mix the milk

00:56:06--> 00:56:06

with water

00:56:08--> 00:56:13

so that they can sell more milk, make more money. Basically cheat.

00:56:14--> 00:56:16

The daughter kills the mother,

00:56:17--> 00:56:23

yo man, my mother ameerul momineen na and delich.

00:56:24--> 00:56:32

The leader of the Muslims, the Commander of the Faithful Omar, in reference to Omar has banned us from doing this.

00:56:34--> 00:56:45

The mother insisting on this obeying the law, she tells the daughter, but ameerul momineen is not with us. Don't worry about him.

00:56:46--> 00:56:50

Omar accidentally happened to be resting outside.

00:56:51--> 00:56:52

And he actually heard

00:56:54--> 00:57:01

but look the answer of the daughter. But my mother, the Lord, the former sees us.

00:57:02--> 00:57:04

The Lord the former is with us.

00:57:07--> 00:57:08

Omar stands up.

00:57:09--> 00:57:14

He marks the house. He put a mark on the house. It was dark.

00:57:15--> 00:57:18

He didn't know who the who this girl was.

00:57:20--> 00:57:22

Who's her family? Who is the mother.

00:57:23--> 00:57:32

He when he goes home wakes up his three sons, Abdullah, Abdullah man and asked him

00:57:33--> 00:57:34

and he tells them

00:57:36--> 00:57:41

one of you has to marry this woman this girl, otherwise I will.

00:57:44--> 00:57:48

One of you must marry this girl. Otherwise I will.

00:57:49--> 00:57:55

Again, I want to tell you something he did not know who she is, who she was, how beautiful she was,

00:57:56--> 00:58:04

how wealthy she was. He didn't know any of them all watching you all what he knew about her that she is conscious of Allah.

00:58:06--> 00:58:09

She knows that she cannot do stuff because Allah watches her all the time.

00:58:11--> 00:58:11

Awesome.

00:58:13--> 00:58:16

His son the youngest volunteered to marry her.

00:58:18--> 00:58:27

enough to tell you that this woman became the grandmother for a famous leader called the Omar Abdullah Abdullah zS.

00:58:29--> 00:58:37

She is the grandmother of Omar Abdullah. She's someone who was born and led the Muslims the year 99 after hegira.

00:58:39--> 00:58:40

Again a four.

00:58:41--> 00:58:44

Again, why? Because of this,

00:58:46--> 00:58:46

because of this.

00:58:49--> 00:58:52

You know, I always give this example.

00:58:54--> 00:59:09

When Ibrahim alayhi salatu wa sallam took his wife harder to the desert. Can you imagine this? You take in a woman who just delivered with her infant baby to the desert and leave them in the desert and go home.

00:59:11--> 00:59:12

Can you imagine doing this?

00:59:14--> 00:59:15

And then she asked him

00:59:19--> 00:59:22

why are you doing this? Why are you doing this?

00:59:23--> 00:59:25

And then the the law commands you to do this.

00:59:27--> 00:59:30

Yes, Sakuma, then go.

00:59:31--> 00:59:33

I'll help you to fulfill the command of Allah.

00:59:35--> 00:59:36

I always do this when

00:59:38--> 00:59:49

Ibrahim alayhis salam took his young son who ffcs says that he was 13 years old, 14 years old. Is my my son Allah commanded me to slaughter you.

00:59:51--> 00:59:54

What do you think the son will say to his father, like the mother

00:59:56--> 00:59:59

was because of the mother. Like mother like son like

01:00:00--> 01:00:01

father likes them

01:00:03--> 01:00:04

for

01:00:06--> 01:00:11

what they tell you, plus one plus one equals what?

01:00:15--> 01:00:28

I understand that Subhanallah there are some odd pieces where you may find a very wicked spouses and the son is out of the world. But this is called Art share,

01:00:29--> 01:00:30

fill fill in the

01:00:32--> 01:00:43

equal, Akasha dolla dolla you cannot base a rule on Upload, you can make a general rule on something that is abnormal, you have to make it on what is known.

01:00:46--> 01:00:56

Again, brothers and sisters in Islam and I don't want to send you home tonight. Those who are married with that feeling of depression, that you made the wrong choice.

01:00:58--> 01:01:02

And you're going to go home and consider Jani starting over.

01:01:03--> 01:01:07

That's how you're going to go home tonight. That would be a very feeling lecture in the

01:01:10--> 01:01:12

would be a very bad motive on my end

01:01:15--> 01:01:18

insha Allah go and fix yourself

01:01:20--> 01:01:22

go and reform yourselves.

01:01:23--> 01:01:40

Start with yourself and once you you begin fixing yourself Allah subhanaw taala will fix your wife for you will fix your spouse for you. But really I'm more interested in the brothers and sisters brothers and sisters who are

01:01:41--> 01:01:48

yet to start this next week inshallah we'll give them our full attention be indicted. But

01:01:51--> 01:01:55

besides fixing yourself and I want to close with this and I promise this the last thing I'm gonna say

01:01:58--> 01:01:59

always

01:02:00--> 01:02:01

think of general

01:02:03--> 01:02:07

it's only 67 years in sha Allah and you will be done.

01:02:10--> 01:02:12

And inshallah Jenna, you will have what

01:02:16--> 01:02:18

the brother mentioned social media

01:02:20--> 01:02:21

and their impact.

01:02:22--> 01:02:29

I consider social media and the internet to be a big impact are a big cause for divorce. Why?

01:02:30--> 01:02:36

And the society in general Why? Because of the picture of the women's that you see online

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and you go back home

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or brothers who end up work in an environment

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and you know, at home the systems they never pay attention to the way that they should be.

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So

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think of gender,

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think of gender

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and with this story, which is famous out there and you probably heard it from me before but I say it for the sake of just giving you and me hope inshallah

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there was this man

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his wife passed away.

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He's really acting up you know, crying when I miss you baby sweeter.

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So in the burial ground, the final scene, he and he produced his best yelling, crying and weeping. So alone brother approached him.

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And he whispered in his ear and he said to him, my brother,

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Why do you cry?

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Don't worry insha Allah, she will be with you in gentlemen.

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He looked at him and he said, Really?

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Oh Allah been witness. I divorce her. I divorce her I divorced

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three times.

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But I think what he forgot to explain to him

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that when Allah subhanaw taala spoke about our spouses being with us in general. They will be as well June Mata hora purified

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I always like to use that line your wife will be the way that you wish to be. You wish her to be in the dunya. She will be in Jana, for you the way that you wish her to be in the Union.

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And I tell the wife, your husband in general,

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will be insha Allah the way that you wish.

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For him to be in the dunya and more.

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But you just have to be patient. It's only 67 years and we'll be done.

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We'll leave this world and you succeeded in defeating Satan defeating all these odds which are after your marriages. This is why a four one lie I tell you, every day goes by and you're still married. You're making the record. Just keep going until those 67 years ends. Insha Allah, Allah, Allah Subhana Allah, Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah, Allah Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil aalameen Shalom