Channel: Haleh Banani
Removing the Cultural Norm around Physical Intimacy
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Another common problem faced by Muslim couples is physical intimacy in the attempt of raising chass daughters, some Muslim parents have have a tendency to use scare tactics, and without realizing the negative impact that it will have on their daughters once they get married. Now, this negative impact is that the daughter starts feeling some very negative association, they have negative association, they feel that it is they feel like the act is dirty and sinful. And they feel belittled. And this really affects their marriage. And I cannot tell you the number of couples that I have worked with that actually, the the female cries after the act because of all of this, all of
this associated negative association that she has now, it's very admirable to want to raise chast daughters, but we have to be very careful to, to specify that this act is beautiful in the state in the halaal. Marriage, and not to make it something evil or sinful or dirty. And my my friends and I Saba say yet or Marine, and Hannah's a bear from Muslim matters, we did a an hour program on Muslim matters, it was called intimacy matters. And we really expanded on the reasons people are not having good physical intimacy, the causes and the solutions, and it has helped and hamdulillah many of my clients who listened to it, they were able to overcome their negative outlook. A lot of times, there
is a complaint about either quantity or quality. And generally, the men are complaining about the quantity and the females are complaining about the quality. So it's really important to address this because if if one person is not being completely fulfilled, it will affect the closeness, the intimacy of the relationship. So these are things that need to be discussed. I know that the majority of the clients that I have had never discuss these issues with their spouse, they feel maybe embarrassed and it feels awkward to bring it up. But it is essential to discuss it if you need help get the help that you need, because it is a critical aspect of your life. The Prophet
sallallahu Sallam said that the person who gets married the marriage completes half of your deen. And so this is a big part of it. Because when you're fulfilled in this manner, then you are not affected as much by the fitna that is out there when you are not fulfilled, then it opens you up to so many things outside of your marriage. And another complaint is about taking initiative and being responsive. Many, many females see this as just a duty and an obligation. They may feel wrong to even want it or desire it. And so they do it more as an act of obligation. And this really affects the quality of the relationship. So it's very important to take initiative and to be responsive.