Channel: Haifaa Younis
actually I fully agree it's not because
Allah made me do it actually I would love to attend a retreat what I'm not doing it is the best No, I mean it, it's the best thing to do is to be a student. And I was just saying this during this with Shanghai shut the tooth for me there was two things changed my life, actually three things. Right? First one was when my mom died when I was young. And I was the only physician so I was taking care of her. So it was very moving moment in my life. And this is when I learned, you asked a lot when you need him. And when you don't need him, you don't ask. And then is when I went from my first heart was a mind blowing. And the third one, which came six months after my first hunch is when I
attended the retreat. The first I didn't even know what the word retreat mean.
I mean, so how does that apply me? Do we have it not yet humbler?
So the basic part about that is what is when you implement what you are learning. That's what we are missing in all these classes that we write and we're really excited then we go home and everything goes back to square one.
And like, I can easily ask you how many classes you have attended. How many model versity classes, how many lectures how many this year from that show. And there are Heckman ha ha ah and all this right? how much you've changed. Don't answer this is questions because unless we practice, what we learn, it's an information Allah who will ask us about it.
And this is why these are like the camps, you know, when take the children for camps. And the way I have to say my perspective, actually, it was an amazing experience, because the attendees would really that was a chemo lock. I didn't know anyone when I came except Soweto and her family has a lot of bang, Allah made me know most of you know is these people were sincere.
Because the Baraka Lockwood in that gathering, I have not seen it in many places in many things.
I did not say please fast. I said it's a I remember this very well. I said it's a shadow Muhammad.
I said it's in Mohan, it's a sacred month. And every good deed in it is highly appreciated and multiplied. It's up to you doing a fast or not done it. That's what I said, I didn't know you. Now I can say next year is like, everyone is fasting. But that time I couldn't I don't know him. Right? Everyone was fasting. The place was beautiful. Beauty is not the right word, there's more I would have saved the beauty of it because it was very simple. We were 50 people with four bathrooms.
Remember, then we discovered the one downstairs?
Right on they said you can use the one downstairs really. You laugh at these things. But it's a struggle. It's a struggle. So bunk about the simple it's like a cabins nothing, then see what Allah gave us. This is how you reflect on things. Yes, we had classes we prayed the hula, all this. The two things to me this is to me was the signs from Allah number one is when the pastor came to me. It's sort of treat places a Christian place to Christian everywhere you see a cross and everything. And he's a pastor from New York when he came to me and says, I have not seen a group like your group,
how quiet they are, and how organized they are. Because only one time I said shoes needs to be in line. It's part of your control. And your discipline. You put your shoes next to each other I said it only once. Look at the guy paid attention came to me and said this second one, it was the bust. When I lost pantalla unplanned Sanders, Christian group 75 ladies, all white America. And we were like the beauty here. So if you go out to walk on the lake, you'll see them. So of course you're going to talk to them. And because we look weird, we are the alien. At No, I mean it right? And what is what is this is how you have to think and I actually I remember I asked this question, what do
you feel when you look at me?
Right? So you have to show these people that's not what you are thinking what a human being. We have feelings, we talk, we know all this. So we had this conversation, and then suppiler levy that guy level. Allah Subhana, Allah brought to my mind and I went and asked him, can we go and talk to them?
Last day or Sunday, remember? And I asked him because you can ask Do you mind ask them? Do you mind if we come as a group and introduce ourselves to them? And you remember that gathering? What's happened, I wasn't the only one who spoke. One of the
Ladies spoke to and water Baraka we had enough to me if one person changed her mind about the Muslim hijab, a woman heightened.
So the point I'm trying to make is you need these off away from your daily life. And from your usual rat race, I call it out. And then you will teach yourself how to be with Allah. Although you are with everyone, you know, how you will live with only two meals, very simple food, I loved it. It was cooked from home and brought very simple, very, very simple, beautiful, how everybody was Salah is four, or 30, there was early, I don't remember, but some but 430 I come for 30. Everybody is on that agenda. Same people here.
So this is how you change, you change by practice. You don't change by memorizing books, I always say this as a physician, right? When I graduate from medical school, MD, zero, I know.
That's why they take us for residency training, 40 years, 120 hours a week.
Training absolutely for years. Why Indonesia, we do it. Why for our hero, we don't, I can't I don't have time. So absolutely any of the opportunities that will make you not only learn the clone and practice use it. And if you can do with this, you don't know what's going to happen next year, maybe it's not going to happen, maybe I cannot come maybe they cannot organize. So yes, apply for it. The only thing is we need to have a limited number, we cannot have too many people, because then you will lose the control.
And we cannot usually it's maximum 50
because it's very hard to organize, and to keep everyone focused. So for those of you this is how we normally do it, everybody apply and there's an application, and you have to fill the application including why you want to attend. And you have to write a little bit of like a paragraph about two audio. And then you look at all those who attended last year if we had that says 250 applicants and we have to choose 50 priority goes to the new
because you want people to know this. And if we had the amazing response we can do twice. But that's the point give yourself you need your husband because it's going to be from Monday to Friday, what what the days.
Okay, so Friday to Tuesday, okay, and we want everyone to attend the whole five days, especially if you have again, if we had a higher number of applicants priority goes to the full timers, we call this full time and part timers because the part timers will disturb the full timers. So it's a Friday to choose the planet from now if you can fill the application put a deadline, don't be the last minute calm people.
You put a deadline and I mean this literally put a deadline and you apply and then shot a lot less pantalla would make it isn't the same please pursue open for registration. I couldn't share the video but I'm gonna text everyone. So give me your phone number I'll text you the information. And it's often I'll share the link also for registration registration. And very often, it's going to be first come first serve usually that's how it is. And then we take all the applications I mean, this is our This is how my teacher did it all the time I organized it for him. And this is how what is actually he reviews the application.
Now he reviews everyone not everyone comes to these retreats because if one person comes for the wrong reason, wrong reasoning, you know what, I'm free that we can let go and be that person feels it's too much. Then it starts affecting everybody. It's a domino effect. So you really need to get closer to a lot you're willing to stand up for 30 minutes in fudger and you're willing to sit After further for 45 minutes or 40 minutes. I don't know the timings but at least they are silence during your lecture. Please be my guest. If you think you are still weak, this is too much I cannot do that work on yourself. Because test skier is not theory test here is practice. You have to practice but
it's beautiful. There is another one I am going to be conducting in Oklahoma and short one it's going to be in November and remind me Zamzam Oregon to Mike and send you the details. It's gonna probably be tuna chromas. Right so hamdulillah there's more of these but again, this is in here, about an hour drive from here but if you are interested, don't come last day to Samson and to Khartoum crying I want to come
because that's usually what happens the day they are leaving, can I come and the answer is no, because it's booked. So please do that. Look at yourself, inshallah, who can come for the application filled the reason why why you want to come in the room.
Talk about that in
the past we did actually wonder teeth in St. Louis about the power will actually I did to one I did in South Africa and we did one in in St. Louis St. Louis It was amazing because we had all the young girls from memorized to put on attend we made it free for them
because we wanted the girls to enjoy it y'all love you see these girls what reflection they wrote at the end.
You could see the girls you know I was like boring if you did like teenagers, so I was giving the talk in the parable of the Quran saying that Rahim methylone, Karima polybutene you know all this and you can see them whatever one is drawing the other one is like giving you whatever then they gave me the reflections I was like where did this come from?
Yeah, so there are parables of the Quran the way we do it is actually YouTube we took I don't remember now because we did about two years ago we do we take the parables of the Quran for example like what we shared yesterday with some of you have uncovered the spider and in details what is this? What does that teaches me and how I'm gonna apply it in my life right and then there's like principles in these parables and books written about the perils of the poor, but it is basically a principle if you see Allah talking about the reign of Allah is talking about the earth if I was talking about spider but we're talking about the fire all these are parables that you and I need to
learn inshallah. So look into these things again, help them to be organized Hamlet, this is very well organized me a lot he would, but he loved this get this also more organized. You know the date, the upfront, this is like six months, I'd have done martial law. And you have I have to thank someone called Zamzam.
I'm telling them
No, don't do that. Don't do that. Pray for her in Ramadan. That's true. Do you care about that loss? pantalla make her better, that may last can protect her from herself as herself and MOBAs pantalla make her even better and closer and closer. Someone who wants to do something. Some of you attended the classes that we did online. How many of you attended the classes? We did online? Alhamdulillah. had them land bad Allah isms?
Because in that retreat, look at the highest came out of that retreat in that retreat says Why don't you teach us online? And I said, You know what, I am extremely busy.
Take care of all the logistics, I'll do it. Done.
That's how you get the classes three. So Hamdulillah, you have this in this community. I'm not praying and I love the key Allah. Everyone has a lot of deficiencies and shortcomings. But you have this in the community or so use it. And again, for all of you. Do you follow us on gender Institute? How many of you have Facebook?
Okay, not that many. If you do not have Facebook, please give your phone number and email to Zamzam also, like now you're filling, yes. Yeah, fill it. Because every time we do live stream, we have a lecture, you will be notified and you can go and listen to anytime it's there. And if we have programs all you will you will get this and inshallah I'm planning May Allah make it happen after Ramadan to start at least one class. So also you can if you like you want to register. Now we have about 25 minutes talk about us here.
That's extremely tough. I'm gonna take questions about iski. How about that? Because it's only 25 minutes I'm not going to give the subject is do right.
Bismillah Yes. Yep, yep.
consistency. Okay, how do you keep consistency?
What is consistency? Something I do it all the time, meaning I build the habit. So let's talk modern thinking how long it takes you to build a habit.
20 a day some says 40 my terms, 40 days. So 40 days, 40 days, you are going to be consistent in doing one thing. Don't excuse me, don't do everything.
Because if you do everything we did in the retreat after a week, your job. And that's what the roswaal as AutoSum said in a hadith learn how to conquer. But
don't be like that person who rode a horse.
What did the horse so hard that he killed the horse and he did not get what he wants.
That's it. So don't be like you come back from the retreat and you're full of energy and fasting every Monday and Thursday and I'm gonna do this and you've never fasted before.
What's gonna happen first Monday, by four o'clock, you're dead.
Thursday, you're gonna say You know what? I'm too tired. I'm gonna take a break. Goodbye fasting
Don't do that, we take it step by step you focus on one thing. And after for example today with all the information you got, you're going to pick up one or you're going to say I'm going to work on this. Once I mastered this, I'm going to move to the next. As you go in this in this path, things becomes easier. And instead of doing one you will do two you'll do three you do four. So pick one thing for example, let's focus on the
morning and evening as car
from today, non negotiable you're not getting out of this agenda. I had this call written in my car. Why have a CD in my car with the car and I have a car written in the kitchen and I have a CD in my kitchen you know what I'm saying? No excuse it's like you're you're like bombarded with it. Focus on with call for 40 days it becomes habit now you're driving go to pick up your kids and you're doing it becomes a habit you don't even think of it that's how it is any build the good habits consistent and then move to the next one. And don't forget to do all the time. Make Doha for yourself alone The alumna who said it was a Kia and the humans aka your love purify our hearts and your Allah give make
our new Foose with Ducky make our souls full of your all consciousness and love and purify our hearts and the last people
What's the skier she needs to come next year.
This is to purify from Zika so what is occur?
What is the code is the words occur
when you pays a car, what are you doing?
and you must apply and get to purify and to increase that zeca to purify and to increase that's why when everyone tells you for years I can't see how much Allah will give you
so to Ischia is to purify, simple, very simple to purify me, not you, not other, it's me, from ill, character, internal and external, internal meaning My hearts what we talked about and external, the way I look, the way I behave, the way I talk the way I handle myself, I conduct myself from every ill character. Now here you're gonna come, that your character is what Allah defined, not what the society defined, not what my house say, not for the book say that what the call is say is what Allah said, remove, then bring instead beautify me, inside me and outside with everything Allah loves. So you're going to learn about something called diseases of the heart. What is the disease of the heart
should associating someone with Allah, denying the presence of a loss?
Rhea ostentation. kibbled arrogance, or job self admiration, lying, wistfulness, all these are diseases of the heart, wastefulness, impatient, angry, all these are diseases of the heart, we all have different percentages, different and different times teskey a process is remove this,
not only remove, because you cannot leave something empty, come back, you have to fill it, fill it with the opposite, shook. tauheed associating someone with a law only obey a lot, only what we all talked about today, only Allah or Joe, self is admiration. I'm going to be humble. And go, I'm going to be patient. ly lying. I'm gonna be truthful. All the opposites process very simple. Simple to say.
We allow make it easy to practice. Number one is knowledge. You need to learn daily, daily and not listening to a video and you're driving and you're talking to somebody else. That's not learning. Learning is like you have a math exam tomorrow.
What are you going to be doing?
Studying. So that's learning, studying, study. And then the more you learn, the more you're going to learn about your shortcomings or our shortcomings or my shortcomings. I learn about me, my shortcomings and then I'm going to feel bad about it. tober bursts
enemy's gonna come out. It's like why I am this person, why I am this, then the Toba? Would it make you work and makes you learn more?
In this process to help is what I keep saying. less food, less sleep, less interaction with people, less talking, and a lot of Vicar of Allah. That's it.
This is practice on daily basis, not in from one retreat to the other.
Not from one Ramadan to the other, not when I go to Amara, this is daily, daily. The more you do, the more you clean, the more you feel. And you'll see the first thing people will see that you changed,
changed internally, and it's gonna expose on you used to be full of emotions, now you're much calmer, used to lose your temper easily. Now, rarely you lose your temper. It used to be so hard to fast Monday, it's become much easier, all these disorders are resolved. Because the body is basically has a king, and the king is the heart. The heart sends signals to the brain. And the brain sends signals to this to the limbs. So I don't work on the limbs, I don't work on the brain, I work on the essence, here. If I don't like someone, what is the first thing you feel I like
that's how you see the brain gonna say, I need to hurt. That's me plan. And then you start saying or doing something, your heart is pure, you will feel this feeling where human beings, but then immediately, and I have from the Quran is going to come or a hadith is going to come or something you heard the lecture is going to come calms you down. And you're going to send a message to your brain saying, you know what, Allah loves those who forgive, don't do anything.
So it's all about number one knowledge, learn, learn, read, when you talk to the shoe, and you see how much they studied. Way more than I studied for medicine and you studied for your profession, study and practice, study and practice and think they're self accountable, especially this you have the hearts take themselves accountable everything. They say, Why did I say this? Why did I look? I say to myself, that's basically
that's the scheme. So it's not something you learn only it's something you practice.
How could they quiet myself? We don't want people thinking that maybe I'm ignoring you.
I'm sorry, say that again? Okay, how can I practice less talking? what
other people are thinking that maybe? How can I play but a good question, which you all probably have the same? How do I quiet myself stay quiet and don't say anything. And people will say I am elegant, or strong, but now she's depressed.
Right? This is how it is. The changes doesn't come suddenly. Unless literally, I'm depressed. But usually some changes comes gradual. The first thing you are are, are we, when we go through the process of testing, you're gonna dislike those who speaks nonsense. I eat I drink, I went, I bought I went to shopping, I traveled, this is like sick. This is like worrying to me. And I'm gonna try to avoid being in that company. Or solving remember, remember Zuma to solid he'd be with the life just people how much it was said today. This is definitely part of the scheme. So you're going to be putting yourself and now when you get to a certain degree of Allah subhanaw taala he'll protect you.
He will protect you. I remember very well one of the people I know. She was invited to a wedding who didn't know. So she wanted she knew I mean the people are mathematical. But she didn't know. And she knows there was no music, no dancing analysis. She wanted she came in at a huge hotel. I was there actually. Huge hotel. Right and then she found the place where the reception is is too small. It's really tight. And it was mixed. very uncomfortable. She felt right. kept asking a lot. She's also visited kept asking a lot Take me away from
Yes, they called her hospital call them left.
So the first thing you will know that this is not good for my heart. This I said she said to I talked I talked to her
This is not good. This is all nonsense talk that I'm going to remove. Now the process of desk is not easy, because a lot of what you are used to, and what your comfort zone is going to be out of this window. A lot of the friends are used to be all the time with them, they are not in the process of testing, they are not going to be spending time with them. I'm going to gradually pull out the only main challenges your family has this you cannot pull out your spouse, your parents, your your children, but anybody else you can gradually pull and you will get magnet polio to the people who will remind you of a law that had Zuma to solitary what she talked about Shere Khan the morning,
that's what you are, then when the talk comes in nonsense talk, but you're going to stay quiet in you. The da comes in this kit comes with a DA y'all make me say something that it will be beneficial for you to know how a lot will make you say something beneficial.
And then people will know what it means number one, it needs a lot of work from you. You really want it and you are willing to work for it. And I want you to make it up.
Yes, how earlier
you talked almost anybody else? y'all get me out of this place? Y'all be making me get to Minneapolis if you're not talking I always say this before I get to any place on topic. Not only biotique Let me say what pleases you
This is how we deal with a lot but this doesn't come with any sometimes you have to pretend but then becomes natural. The more your indico the more your ends up or the more you are with the righteous company, the more you're away from from things that is distractions. And don't waste your time ladies don't go for shopping for grocery shopping two hours that's waste of time. complete waste of time and distraction and your heart will see this and that and come on we'll bring your heart and don't talk to me about for sure where it's gonna come I need to be very vigilant about me it's part of this case more October they called Morocco because you're watchful about yourself putting your
feelings your feelings What did I say? What did I do oh god well I am going to be very likely like I was a German soldier
was very disciplined discipline you go for shopping 20 minutes 30 minutes or the front end gender because it did have a close family member they cruise for sold out right every saw the clothes so guess when she goes 30 minutes before they close the slot.
And they take some children my neighbor takes her children with her son one beside this wonder is 130 minutes they're out.
You know, they know because they say you know going to same place grocery shop, you know, milk, whatever, whatever, whatever, whatever because you have no choice. they close the registry. So either you're going to wait inside for another 20 minutes or you better finish before the sauna comes in. And they give you five minutes announcement. I loved it. Because that's taking and she do it on purpose. Not like you do it on purpose. You look as I said, this is how I teach myself discipline then becomes a habit. Same thing when you go shopping here for for my department stores if you do 30 minutes before they close that's it
or do you do shopping online costs 2030 minutes Yeah, you look at everything that push you away from Allah minimize it, I'm not gonna say throw it away. Unless it's fun. By the way, notice here Don't even talk about this kid. And there's how long those are how long your life
I talked about, you know, talking about the family talking about you, just sitting in front of that TV, watching whatever on what somebody has. I know for sure what the Arabs has, right? Don't talk to me about this. Don't
you need to remove how long how to completely then the rest is going to come and you will have this personal relationship with
this personal relationship with Allah is where you are there have talked to help me guide you. Forgive me, why did I say this? Jambi all these things? It's one last question because I have to leave at 530 I can't afford missing my flight. My brother flew from Washington DC and I can tell you how happy he is. I'm not insane. Close. So we can imagine. Yeah, so he just texted me said I change it tomorrow. Meaning you come to these
negative thoughts, negative thoughts? Negative thoughts? What is negative thoughts? Negative thoughts about people look
Got yourself negative thoughts about dounia on leaving negative thoughts about my children the result is not in my hand. So you know his son was a Catholic. No more. That's again back to him. The more you learn, the more it