Tap into your potential – 05.03.2015

Edris Khamissa


Channel: Edris Khamissa


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The speakers discuss various topics related to addiction and family life, including the importance of forgiveness and a program that started at nine o'clock in the morning and went on for ten o'clock at night. They emphasize the need for everyone to acknowledge their success and failure and create a culture of respect and unity. They also touch on the negative impact of pornography on people's mental health and relationships and the importance of avoiding assumptions and being selfish. The segment ends with a discussion of the importance of finding guidance for women in marriage and the need for a culture of love and happiness in homes.

AI Generated Transcript ©

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It's just contain past 11 Somali compartmental ma

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ma ma haben

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Welcome to mushrik on radio Islamic this Thursday morning and very very warm welcome this morning to my dear brother who has been missing for so long for ladies comecer salaam alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

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La Jolla, Baraka

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de la Mulana so good to hear you so good. And hamdulillah let's look at it this way. It's been a very, very long time. And

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excellent to Malaysia. How are you keeping how's your health? You know, Allah is so merciful. I'm here in Johannesburg at the moment. Alhamdulillah and I'm going to be at the Sunday COVID to attend weddings and bring some programs and Alhamdulillah So, we are gainfully occupied when you're gainfully occupied. You cannot thank them enough You know?

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And hamdulillah I'm not sure Kevin being so busy keeping you healthy keeping you well and most importantly, your energies are is always

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alum very lucky. If not, my wife called me hyperactive adults, you know,

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He told me this, you are a hyperactive adult as a longer in law, you no longer do that be that I'm active. Is that just what you're doing here? Right? Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes. We, as long as we hearing your your full of energy, we are happy about that.

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You know, what, if any person cannot be energized by by listening to there's something wrong with that person, you know,

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some some people say that they feel very energized by listening to me because it puts them into a sleep and maybe

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No, but I said you

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know, when they listen to you, I mean, in your listeners Do you give them a sense of calmness, you know, and kind of focus because we are not today we are running around from pillar to post, you know, sometimes is important for us, just to sit back and reflect on our life in a humbling and everyone is different but for me personally, I enjoy your disposition is very nice Allah

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better and better inshallah.

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Allah, Allah Subhana, Allah, accept whatever we are doing

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interviews where you've been to Malaysia, tell us a little bit about your trip, you know, an umbrella monana What can I say, you know, this trip?

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every trip that I make, you know, I I think, firstly, that you're traveling to new lands, you're meeting new people. And you understand when people speak about the oma. So we begin to understand exactly what they mean, you know, and that is very, very critical. So, so what is important is this, that

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I met a hamdulillah lots of scholars from different parts of the world, and listening to them talk * when they share their perspectives. And I'm very humbled that people call me to speak, you know, because I know myself, you know, I mean, I know who I am. But, you know, Allah is merciful. And he has answered my prayer, as it were, you know, and Alhamdulillah. That is very, very good. I'll just share with you a few things. What happened was that I, you know, went there, primarily, to take part in a conference right, in a conference, a marriage conference. And what I liked about this marriage conference, that it was multi dimensional, what they did, they had about eight to 10

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speakers from different parts of the world. And use the program started at nine o'clock in the morning only finished up 10 o'clock at night. Every speaker spoke for 15 minutes. And they spoke on a whole range of themes, you know, a all rated for marriage. And then what they did was, once the program was on, they had over 3000 people who attended, and then once the program was on,

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he had other casual sessions, like I conducted after I spoke a little later I conducted a workshop. My topic was, there is no harm the couples that disagree, but they must not become

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disagreeable. And so they were a number of people are very receptive. And at the same time, every speaker that came, he was obliged to counsel, as it were

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two couples in which they did. And then also, they had what you call a speaker's corner, where, for example, from five to hoppers five, I went to the speaker's corner, and a number of people came there to ask me questions related to my subject, and whatever else I was doing, then they had a section there for children, and the same children at the end of the program, did a presentation. So Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah, what I like about it, that we as Muslims, we must always strive for excellence, there is no place for mediocrity. And they also did you know, falana is becoming a little difficult nowadays, even in South Africa, or Africa does not have it as hard as other places,

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where young people for young people to find compatible partners. And what they did was very change the range there for that to happen. And they think they are not too sure about the real process. And the people put the profile and they said, What age group they're looking for, what qualities and whatever, whatever, whatever. And they did this kind of matchmaking, which was done under supervision. And in fact, they also performed in the car. And so it was really exceptionally well done. And the speakers they had from the different parts of the world. They had the shakable Isa from the UK, they had one or two speakers from Canada. Their sister yesterday was it was written a

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beautiful book, called Reclaim Your heart in that book has been translated into Arabic. And then they have people like Omar Suleiman, who also gave a talk a few days later, when the most beautiful talks I ever heard a four and a half hour talk on the brain, Elisa Lam, and no one moved. Except we broke up a magnetic Nisha Salah, so he spoke there. He comes from the Vienna Institute in Oman as a con brought together in the group, a few other speakers from there. Then they have this speaker Shaykh Yahya Ibrahim, originally from Canada, and he Gibson brother was in Australia, then they had checked Eric Appleby, from South Africa was several now in Malaysia, and we had number of the

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speakers and the CD shake, while Ibrahim, who is in who is in Hong Kong, and really Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah. Remarkable, you know, scholars, you know, and like, scholars that we have, who shared the perspectives, and it was all in all a successful day. In fact, the people were so inspired the people came from, from Dubai, from Sharjah, from Hong Kong, from Indonesia, from Singapore, from Australia, and they all want them to replicate the same program. And I'm really considering molana. And I'll talk to you about this, too, of having the same program to do one in Johannesburg, one in Durban, and maybe one in Cape Town. You know, and under the law, it was exhilarating, invigorating,

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and the hospitality of the organizers was unbelievable, you know, unbelievable and unreal.

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Sounds like in testing time that you hit in Malaysia, and

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I believe that Malaysia because it's predominantly Muslim, whether it's a Muslim country, it's it's so easy for us to get by. And it's so welcoming, and it's an ideal tourist destination. Yes, it is. And hamdulillah. And the Muslims are very warm, very, very friendly. And this is my third trip. And what they also did was the one of the evenings I was invited to give a talk at the International University, they in Malaysia, it's a massive, massive campus, and they have students from 95 nationalities. And I spoke about the art of public speaking from an Islamic perspective Alhamdulillah it was exceptionally well received. anomaly like gives me joy, real joy. And I know I

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met a brother there and he says that he was I think he was with the our own manana slim and moolah and moviemaking and all of that and the alums and I think I was called as also making inroads in other countries. And they may they continue to do that because sometimes, you know, we as Africans, we do not value our

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People, our own scholars, our own people, and we find that some of the other people overseas appear to be, in a sense more romantic in a way more attractive. But nonetheless, I think we have called wonderful scholars in many parts of the world, and I'm vanilla

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which is why some of

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the the counseling that you did, and the people that you spoke to interacted with some of the issues that

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we can take lesson from,

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no monana, you know, I, you know, one of the things that often worries me, you know, I, recently, I just got a call from one of the countries overseas, we tried to help this couple to come together, you know, and I put my head on the block for this person who promised that he's going to change, he made a commitment, and that's my request, the sister went back in, she says, the initial few weeks were wonderful few weeks, and he was making an attempt to change. And afterwards, you know, year was an individual was rarely and I My heart goes out to him, was begging me, brother, please help me, please help me, you know, I want my wife back, please help me please help me. And Allah, Allah

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blessing, I did, you know, and now I heard that the marriage is off, you know, and she wants to, she wants to leave him. And because he has reneged on his promises now, in that situation is difficult to defend the person, and especially when you made a commitment, for things that you knew that you could change, there are some things that are out of your control. So my advice to people is the following, that when you speak to a counselor, anyone for that matter, and when they give you an se, ha, you are one of many 1000s of people that come to that individual. So he is giving you a perspective. And you know, I always say that, you know, you know, I'm not saying I have the monopoly

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of answers, I'm sure others can do a far better job than I do. You know, I'm not denying that. And but the point is, is I like to believe that the advice I give is very pragmatic. It's very, very practical. In the end, you know, no matter how much you speak to people, but in the hearts of hearts, they know exactly what they want to do what they don't want to do. And suddenly, now when the wife wants to leave the person, then you want to seek all kinds of advice, and then you might bad mouth, the person, and it doesn't help he's not scoring points. So that's a critical thing that we need to understand. First, I'm dealing with a few of those. Right. The other thing that I must

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tell you about is that identify mentioned this, but one of the brothers that spoke at the conference,

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you know, is

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Wally Brian in from Hong Kong, he spoke about the monographic addiction.

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He spoke about pornographic addiction. And when he spoke about it, what really happened? The US surprise, at the same game, he received over 140, or emails. And that, again, reflects how this has become an insidious, pernicious habit that many of our brothers and sisters who are addicted to now That to me is a frightening thing and inshallah, maybe next week or so monana, we need to speak about enough pornographic addiction, we need to speak about what motivates people why, you know, they do it, and yet they may be reading venomous, what they need to do reflect on the salon. So that is an area that is of for me, a very, very a grave concern, you know, so that was one of the other

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aspects. The third aspect that I want to speak about, is this whole issue about your family life. And what my concern is, that, you know, in terms of the family, as such, we, sadly, you know, the, the I beseech the fathers and I've said it many, many times, that my heart goes out to you, you know, I understand the issues that you have, the challenges are very, very great. But I think what is critical that we need in order to create an atmosphere of affection, and of love at home, we need to forgive, we need to reconnect, we need to assert ourselves, and we need as a family to understand that why are we here on this earth? What is our purpose on this earth? Why Allah sent us to this

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earth and what on what

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Got a question that's about. And that is very important because I get the impression that many of us are seeking instant gratification. You want to live a life of pleasure, you know, at the same molana I want a boogie Baby, I want to have a good time. Right? So these are things that concern and the fourth thing that I'm very, very concerned about, is the fact that, you know, what is the oma as the oma, you and I know what's happening to us geopolitically, what is happening at home here. And as the oma, as I said this before, I would like our parents, to be example, as unofficial as soon as the mercy on to all mankind, that the African population, we are part of a plural society, they need

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to understand what the deen is all about. And we need to understand that what Islam is all about. And because of that, we need to forge unity. And you know, you and I don't have to agree on everything Maulana free doesn't mean that you and I must become an enemy. And because nobody, nobody has got a monopoly of knowledge. And when you travel, and you travel, you realize that Islam is such a rich Deen, there are so many different perspectives. And it is also true in the life of navicent allowed to sell them, you know, Khalid bin Mali may Allah be pleased with the sword of Allah, it may be two or three pieces that he narrated by Abu huraira narrated so much, each person has a different

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talent, each one has a different skill. So we need to support each other, we need to work together and inshallah we can make a big difference.

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But it's just not 27 minutes after take 11 and

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11 we've got a few very pertinent topics that have come out from from

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discussion and we would like to welcome our listeners, most importantly, to SMS or WhatsApp 0731738461 please do so and let us know your thoughts. Let us know what issues you are facing in your life. And it leads by you know, here

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we've also had the in the people that I've been dealing with some issues that I would like some counseling or some some advice on as well and inshallah we can we can look at all those different issues, but we need our listeners interaction, we need you to call in as the important thing on zero double 185415 for doctors, let us know if you are even listening to the program, and whether you are really benefiting out of our discussion.

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Please call us on 02185415 for disease my, one of the issues that you brought up was the issue of addiction to pornography. I noticed speakers spoken about this previously, but it is something so bad, and then something so troubling, because of the easy availability of of pornography, and because by and large, we haven't even understood what pornography is. And we think it's only the triple x rated content that is considered pornography but but it's much deeper leaching than that.

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Yes, you know, the, the whole thing is

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pornography, if you look at it, number one, it often demonizes the woman and psychologically the impression you get that sisters, nearly sex objects. And as a result, what it does is erodes our respect for them. And what more than that, it erodes your own moral fiber. And you know, these what I believe really is the your heart, your heart knows when you are going into an area that is a typical response, you see this kind of discomfort. Now, the point is this, that anything, anything that you do, if it makes you fantasize, if it you know, creates a if you stimulate you sexually, any something that you know, impacts on your time, and it impacts on your concentration, your Salah, and

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not all of these things, you know,

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definitely wrong because people often ask this question mowlana is a new right. You know, it's not only the triple x kind of thing, you know, it's today. It's something that is accessible. You know, you find that nudity

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Today, it's prevalent on Facebook is prevalent on the social media is prevalent on the internet. And the thing is, you know, they have the four A's involved. The one a, it is affordable. The second a, it's accessible the other day, are they available 24 hours. And the other a is that you can be anonymous behind it. Now, now, who are the people that

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take to pornography, who are the people, it could be innocent individuals, who, perhaps at the base of the friends that watch something, and what he does is produces your heart. And as a result, what he does, then you begin to be very, very stealthy, you in terms of the usage of your internet, and you find that it impacts on your socializing skills with your family, you sort of cut yourself off, you spend long, long nights there, and you give the impression to your spouse, that you're busy doing their thing, doing some work as it were. And as a result, what happens is that you've you tried to reenact a fantasy what you've seen there, and you begin to reenact it, you know, even Gian

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smells. And when she knows, for example, that you watch something now, and the first what she does, and she begins to ask yourself, I mean, you know, what, what is it? You know, he's he fantasizing? Is he intimate with me or someone else. And and this year, really requires a lot of help lots of intervention. And what it does in the end, is he really makes you into a deceitful person, and you find that your energies towards the end good

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diminish, and you begin to look at every kind of issues as it were to have access to it on your phone, on the internet, or wherever else you

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like a sort of craving that we that

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we are looking at when we speak about the addiction to come up in other words, like any other type of addiction is this way. Absolutely. But more than that, more or less a point, you see. And the point is sometimes people rational, but, but I'm not actually doing it for someone you know, I'm not physically going out somewhere. But that's the point. You see, the point is of Yes. You say television, internet, whatnot, you're living in a virtual world. People get into sex chat, and everything else, and you'll find that you know, it's accessible. And the end of

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the day we have a caller on the line. Let's take our caller salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah.

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Welcome to the program sister

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Milena your program, I have a few points that I'd like to make.

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You're talking about bringing couples together, making a home

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can be defined as people that performs the last daily anybody can come up to you. And they tell you Okay, what do you think of secret nikka? Would you go for it? But all along the playing along with you and making you feel wanted? They're making you feel as though there is a chance that they will be alive between you and another anonymous person? Okay. But do they not feel if the same thing happens to the sisters, daughters? What will it be like?

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Something like a to happen today immediate family

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and learn a person to ask for a question. I guess. It's impossible, as a not learned enough to put someone else's daughter or someone else's sister through the heart.

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Tonight, agreeing wholeheartedly with Malala I'd like to actually join him meet him and discuss a few of these things. Because right now on radio I do get a little bit nervous. Sometimes the kids forget what they want to say. To get people to karaoke.

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Then they they are wholly the buyers everything. But does animals only marry Adam Savage marry the rich and the poor man is a poor white, good learned pious Muslim girls that are getting left behind. Why to only look for it in Africa. And a normal ordinary Muslim girl not putting

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a girl like me that he chopped for example.

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Why do people only specify a one to Allah? Oh no, she's good enough. She got further. Forget it. My mouth is bigger than my

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sanity, madam. Thank you. Now why give all the credit to that lady. When the other woman forbid the person. She's in a home. She prepares the base of meal for a husband and she does the best but she does.

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Get over what 40 or she needs to credit for retire in Lowe's or Home with a cheap living.

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You know what, I love this chip for making this comment, you know? And that's the point. You see, the point is, it's a, something I've been thinking about, you know, it's not about the fact that much of knowledge you have, whether you're an alien or alima, right, the whole thing you need. It's about taqwa. You know, I mean, they are many people have heard of, not I'm growing number for who falls in a given enough Islam, you know, and they put the Quran in the heart, I mean, what would make a person do such a thing, the whole thing is to eternalize that knowledge, to practice it and to impact you know, and to look at to make sure that our eyes, in our hands, our legs, and all of

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these things inshallah, to take you to the right places. And you make a very valid point because Alhamdulillah you know, in our society, people make assumptions about people and because our values today, our values

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are such that we are, you know, we we are attracted to a particular kind of individuals, and the important thing is just, it must not diminish in our system. And perhaps we need to do abroad education, because people must realize, what are the ingredients of happiness? What is it what will make people happy, and even when you speak about, you know, Arlene's and alima. You know, I remember I was telling one brother, I said to him, you know, he was a qualified as Maulana, I said to me, You must marry and Halima said, No, no, I didn't marry and Halima because by coda had the so called me another ideas, you know, he said, No, no, no, you are giving a mini perspective. And this is a

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female perspective. The whole thing in in, essentially is this and you're right. You see what, what it boils down to. This is what worries me, it boils down to the utter utter selfishness of each other. We are so selfish, the only concern about ourselves, it's a personal thing. But we are not concerned about those things that impact on the oma, we got the cream of Western jellybeans, good people and unbelieva good people like yesterday and I'm vanilla I was in last night in roasty I was my brother's birthday to grab a pillow salad allergy and mystery dogs and all those people sitting there you know, and he cares yada yada yada and all of that. And it taught me so much of joy. I

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still talk I mean all of them to be joy and dispensing by people that are permitted worrying about what's going on in the oma and I think that's you know, and I'm so glad that you participate in because he was important for the radio station on hungry Allah bless the people who use it as a vehicle to to understand what's going on in our communities and appreciate the pain and I'm vanilla shala Alana, another example I'd like to bring along.

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If I only marry the ordinary girl, you will be able to bring her out on the right path you'll be able to guide her to be able to bring out the best in her you'll be able to make them probably if you're not punctual in a Salah get up together Rita has utilized together it has become functionally beating out salons in karate. It will bring out the pesky her in him but by being married to her as a happy couple they are doing the best indian also

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want their children be also affected to this woman. Yeah, inshallah you know daughter sister. I be giving some talks about loans I'm going to encourage them also not only Mary Halima has to marry a no late people inshallah who knows you know inshallah you might get a wonderful suitor inshallah.

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Sushil Baba Nina. Joshua.

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favorite word? Yeah, I'm not a Maulana, by the way, obviously already, but

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my wife likes to work on the hunter pony Hunter. Okay.

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Okay, shall I make lots of crap for me? I'm always listening on the program. And I love the matey marriage programs. And make sure Allah Allah make dua for me I find the best of Muslim spas for myself and all the other girls.

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easy for everyone that those without spouses are lagging and good spouses and those that are married inshallah Allah bring enough tranquility in the home and those families that are going to struggle alone make it easy those people that are unwell Allah good and Shiva, inshallah.

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Sister for the goal, and yesterday says the listeners are most welcome and invited to call in and share your thoughts with us as well and

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In some classes, we will entertain your discussions

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by we need to take a little bit of a break now we've overstepped our our time limit but we will come back just after that. To the listeners Stay tuned for Masonic on radio Islam

00:30:19--> 00:30:56

less effective than a listening ear. Many of us face challenges that leave us confused and exhausted, even dejected and despondent speak to someone or any of the Jamia toluna mass counseling centers, all which are meant by qualified and caring personnel Islami Caroline Johannesburg on Audible 13738080 or the Islamic helpline on Audible 18521930 or the Slavic helpline in lolium on Oh 1237400 to six during office hours Jimmy Lamar South Africa so we know

00:31:00--> 00:31:45

Jimmy Masada Africa in conjunction was Galloway is shot presents a marital workshop on Sunday eight march from 9:30am to zahar, the venue will be nurul Islam Hall and Asia extension five the topics and speakers are as follows harms of Xena courtship virtues and wisdom behind nikka feminine abdulah wor intention of Nika choosing a partner engagements walima and related do's and don'ts by party that she deveria duties of husband and wife by Milena use of avid effective communication between spouses by monana Dr. Solomon Ibrahim conflict management and rules of divorce by Mufti ny Mansi and Milena Suleyman, Roberts how parents can find the support to the marriage children by the use of

00:31:45--> 00:32:03

massage and miscellaneous aspects of marriage by Maulana Habib Bhagwat. The emcee for the program will be more than I used to former note they will be separate accommodation for ladies and refreshments will be served for further information contact our will is shot on zero double 18524631

00:32:08--> 00:32:26

solidify your love for prophet muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam by tuning into a smile maybe every Thursday afternoon at 1:30pm to 2pm learn about the many Sacred Names and glorious attributes of the most perfect of all creations. And that's it as

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in South Africa from time to time we have situations where people lose their lives through hijackings, robberies, logic, accidents, drownings, etc. In the wake of tragedy, family members can actually increase trucking while the entire community interview was shocked this week on the panel discussion Milan availa Borgia will be providing guidance on how to view tragedy as a Muslim also advise how to cope when tragedy strikes. This will include Sergeant armor of Zimbabwe a paramedic from rescue 76, a child therapist from the key line, a representative from a burial committee and family members who have been affected by recent tragedies tune in on Friday the sixth of March

00:34:50--> 00:34:59

between eight and 10pm Jimmy Thomas of Africa has committed to provide for the refugees of Syria keep the oven hot projects a project which aims to supply bread

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It is a staple diet and hard to come by. We are aiming to distribute 25,000 frames per day sauce from a mobile bakery, providing for refugees in Turkey and Syria. recipients will be mainly women, children, elderly, and often, the project costs 12,000 Rand a day for 25,000 years, aka ILA and other contributions may be forwarded to any of Virginia to South Africa offices, or deposited directly into our relief accounts can email or fax a copy of a deposit slip to our offices. For more information, contact Jimmy at 1011373 8000.

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When the sun rises, it rises for everyone showing mowlana teenagers such on Monday to Thursday between 11 and 12pm live out of ermelo Mpumalanga, the place where the sunrises regular contributions plan well, and as

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well as mature

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and Idris homies

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Welcome back to a metric on legislation. nomina warm welcome back to our guest

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for the Idris received an SMS from a sister who says that my husband used to drop off this woman he works with like 12 years ago, found out and told him to stop but suspect that he's involved with all the other activities involved. He denies it. Last week, he found out he goes to house and eats with for years, because after over 35 years of marriage, and he still denies it.

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It is very listening. I'm listening GGG

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No, this is the sadly Amina dealt with similar cases

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in what they say in familiarity beats attempt, not content. When you become familiar with someone, and you spending time alone with them and shaped armies, they you know, and this is certainly has become a disease in our community, I never in my life I have come across so much of infidelity, so much of infidelity, and no marriage is safe. You know, I know of one instance and be known

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to the life this person was had as a relationship, an adulterous relationship for 32 years. And, and what happens that denial is what often happens, you know, I dealt with some very, very sad cases, in one case, where the person did not get into a physical kind of relationship. But he was checking in, or texting this particular woman she was made, he was married and whatnot, his wife didn't know about it. And he is intrinsically a good man you associated, and the brother tried to commit suicide, you know. And so these things happen, you know, sometimes in life, what happens, we only realize the gravitas of what we do, we only when we realize afterwards, it hurts so many people that

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we supposed to love. And therefore I think it's very important, both our sisters and our brothers, that every day we need to almost renew our commitment to each other, create a culture and atmosphere of love and affection at home,

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understand each other, you don't have to agree on everything, but will not make a situation untenable. I'm not suggesting that any kind of infidelity is purely because of what's gone goes on at home. But the important thing is this, that you know, the marriage must be such that there is no reason at all for anyone to do that. The other part that is critical to this often when let us say the man does it, then it erodes the self esteem. The sister thinks well, I'm not beautiful, and what not what not what not. But what I also want to say that dinner time is the healer, that sometimes you say you'll never get over, you'll get over it. You know, it's important you turn to Allah you

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speak to Allah is Allah that will happen. And for the sister that they need to

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go to a counselor, or they need to speak to someone who understands and to help them to repair the damage. And as long as you see you mustn't do anything also, that may appear platonic, but to create suspicion in the minds of your spouse. So we need to resolve this issue. And I'm not saying something is definitely going on Allah knows. But from the woman's perspective, it appears something's going on. Nothing that issue has to be addressed. Oh, yes. Certainly it is by

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we review

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discussing the issue of pornography. And the sister brought up the issue of marriage and choosing the right partner, also, people only choosing certain types, and perhaps that is only out of the personal sort of circle that we are in, or the sister is in

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the direct circle around her, but by and large, I don't think that is a societal rule, or there is only what what society is looking at.

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Is this true? You know, I think what happens, a lot depends on you, right, you know, the company you keep and the people that you interact with, who are, who is in your particular circle. And that's very important. And I think, you know, the other critical dimension is that, you know, sadly, we have not rarely allowed also our daughters to grow within the Sharia, to develop them to make sure they have skills, so they can be self sufficient Allah blessing that the IE and they can be independent, they are not in that sense of not the one thing and then whatever, but it is very, very important, because I find rarely a lot of our daughters, you know, pay the fare, no, some of them no

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energy, because, you know, we say that, you know, there has to be one corner of the room, you marginalize them and whatnot, and a treat them very sharply, you know, it's not that we have Islam. So this notion is true about male female interaction, but the notion to cut them off from completely even our homes, and that, to me is something that, you know, we need to relook at it. In the end, the bottom line is that, you know, we as a society, we from town to town, we need to look at the issues. I mean, it's a very sad day, for example, someone says, Well, I've got five daughters, all of them are married, I don't worry about anyone else, as of the way of a believer, for a believer,

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you worry about everyone in the community. And there are many people crying out they need, you know.

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Okay, coming back to our original discussion is, is that there are four things that you that you brought up, we only went through one of the things that was the addiction to pornography, that stickiness look very briefly at some of the other things. Yes, you see, the the point that I made, the point that I made is this, if in a marriage, right, if there is an issue, the issue has to be addressed. And whoever addresses it, the first we speak to wherever the car they give you, right? Remember, the Formula car, you know, the many of them that I know Alhamdulillah they seek Allah guidance, and they want to bring you together want to resolve the situation. So you must not make a

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commitment there purely to the console with your wife. And then and nothing has changed. Because I find sometimes some sisters when they speak to you, they are so insistent, they say no, no, you Brother, you don't know my husband will never change, he promises he breaks his promises. And then you make a commitment, inshallah, that, you know, that you know, that's not going to happen, you make a commitment shala that the you know, that the, you know, an umbrella, that the wife would make a change and, you know, the husband will make a change, and also, very importantly, is to seek guidance. There is no such thing as you know, I don't need guidance, there's no such thing as an

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immune treat. I'm perfect. So that's the second issue. Right. The third issue that I spoke about, is that we need to understand this important sector that we are,

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we are part of a plural society, and we must begin visibly make a contribution, you know, leave a legacy. So that you know what the question is this I mean, this Theresa May was in high up in the echelons in the government, the Conservative government in the UK, what she said, when the Jews felt insecure about what happened in Paris, in the UK, she says, well, Britain will not be the same without the Jews. She never said that, you know, it will not be the same without Muslims. The question is this. If Muslims were normal in this country, would this place be a better place for the non Muslims? That's the important question, the way we treat our servants, the way we treat our

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employees, the way we interact with wider community. Are we doing Dawa so that's a very critical thing. And something I'm encouraging all schools to understand this whole concept about being merciful.

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And the other point that I also mentioned he's the man the meat of the house is so important, so important for him to give leadership to his family to create a culture of love and happiness and were they so children themselves able to do the right thing inshallah

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his way it brings us almost to the end of our program, perhaps just the last few words yet before I forget, next week EPA inshallah I want to speak a bit about the program that we're going to have you remember you interviewed a brother from the European

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Union, you will talk for the next week, but it's a very important program and I I've spoken to counselors and whatnot, it's a very important skill, they learn about healing, you know, giving this year is one thing but to help people to heal from the you know, Islamic perspective is very, very critical. So my last point I want to make molana is the following. That we must assume that you're going to live tomorrow, we don't know. So whatever immense we need to make with Allah with our families must do it today. And now, I like to see a culture an environment that is love and affection in our homes. We can do it and I would like our sisters to be receptive to their husbands.

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There has to be reciprocal understanding, inshallah, when that happens, wow. is going to be a lot of love.

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If it's made for your time this week, and we look forward to speaking to you next week, inshallah.

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manana salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah alayhi wa sallam Rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh just three minutes to 12 seconds is even to our guests disease by chicken toss to the operator brother Osama, and especially to you for listening. salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.