Marriage conference

Edris Khamissa

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Channel: Edris Khamissa

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As salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.

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In my preamble,

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I want to remind each one of us.

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And I'm saying this as a speaker. And I say, as a speaker, when people ask me what legacy I want to leave behind, I say, I hope in the audience, they are individuals whose hearts are open, who are self critical, and who leave from here today, being a different person. If you leave from here today, be the same person, then your presence has been futile. Sometimes a word, a phrase can change the way you look at things. And that is very important. And I speak to you today.

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There is walking up and down, I told my wife, and I said, Yes, Sir, give me a moving talk like you don't mean. So. Now, the reason I share that with you is because, and I'm speaking at a time when the OMA is bleeding. The happiest place should be our home, the happiest place. And I say you can't fight two battles. I don't mind fighting the whole of humanity. But when I come home, my baby is waiting for me. My darling to my hero is here. I said, Baby, I like it. I love it. That's what it's all about. And I will not be sal de la when he was seldom was very romantic and expressive about his

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love.

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And that's important.

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You know what? I know this. It can be done by beloved brothers and sisters. And sometimes you think you're a gift from Allah to your beloved wife. And your wife says, well, they don't know me.

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Often My wife tells me, You know, I speak on many radio programs. And my wife says to me, one day our phone rings and she says, One day I found the radio station. I'll just tell him I don't know the woman. I'm feeling dizzy. I want to go off

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because they know us. And this is an important thing, my friends. An important thing my friends. Your true test is not who you are outside your home. The hero, the man, generous, philanthropic, articulate speaker. But the tone you miserly. You can't sleep constipated. You don't mean your real test is inshallah Inshallah, my prayer for you. And I love you all. For the sake of Allah. Do you love me?

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Do you love me? And I want all of you to say I like it. Come on, man. You're looking? No, no, no. Good. See, I like it. Yes, we have. We don't know how to show happiness these days. They put a smile on your deathbed. That's for the same. Right? So anyway. So I'm saying this to you.

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If your wife, your husband, when you die, they lift up their hands and say, Yeah, Allah, forgive my husband. It was through him. I learned about you. I learned about compassion. I learned about generosity. I learned about forgiveness. We think Allah is not going to forgive you. Your children say Allah, forgive my Father, forgive my mother. It was through them. I got to understand the purpose of life. I realize there is a bigger purpose than what I see around me.

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And that's important. So this topic, Addicted to Love.

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How many of you are addicted to love? Not the unmarried ones, naughty naughty? How many of you are addicted to love? How many of you say,

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you know, if you look at an audience, you put their hands up, I'll handle tell your husband you love him. Tell him shame and He's blushing man. I like it. I like it. Right. So anyway, I also want to say to you that psychologists have said, If you do not change within 48 hours after a presentation is unlikely you're going to change. But when the Sahaba learned something from the mobile the glimpse of Nabi SallAllahu, wasallam the change was immediate. Right? Suddenly if you're going to go home change will be different. Right? That's good. So if you've got two ends up maybe you go to zero. In fact talking about two wives, my my wife

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she Ebron Ganga from you know charity Islamia Allah granting the highest status in Jana. So he said to me this you know, you

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During this marriage conference and everything else, are you thinking of a second wife? I said, so I said, my wife said that can go to and fro, but not from floor to floor.

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Can I say, and I'm so witty Yes, I'm so witty. Right? So anyway, so let's look at an angle. I was thinking deeply. Two o'clock this morning, I was wide awake, thinking very deeply about this topic, Addicted to Love.

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And it's a beautiful metaphor also, if you think about

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when a person gets addicted,

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is powerless, cannot live without it. When he doesn't have it, he has withdrawal symptoms.

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And when he has it the same dose, he doesn't get the same kick. He wants more of it. He'll do anything. He steals

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the rapists own mother

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for the drug, he wants the drug. Allah is out of the equation.

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But addiction also has some positive connotations.

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It means to be inclined to be devoted

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to your wife. When you're not there, you miss her, like the drug.

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But this drug is positive.

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You know, and we need to understand that. How can we become addicted to love? What do we need to do to share that addiction? Like the drug addict? When he wants more of it? Because of his depression. There are times your wife might come to you and say to you, if you're not aware, she says you darling. I had a bad day to the baby. I had a bad day. Today baby.

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What she wants from you. Not the advice. She wants more love. She wants you to hug her. So I'm here for you my darling. I'm here for you, my darling. That Won't your garment unto each other is so exhilarating. It is not fortuitous, or by chance. The Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. When he went to the surreal experience of the force Iet he ran to home to his beloved wife, Bibi Khadija and what she did. She found him. He said, You're a good man. You're a good person.

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You know what I'm saying to you? So the question to be asked, Is this is your home? A Bastion? Is it a place of tranquility? Or is there a place of contestation and struggle?

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Were snarling words they use not putting words I call my wife and I call her a call a shoo shoo bouboulina But the bear. Yeah, I call them I really I do that, right. So if you're looking shocked, I hope you don't die of shock, right? If you die of shock, maybe your spouse says, Oh, my do I didn't accept it.

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So this is a point and I'm gonna share this with you. Remember this, my friends.

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Remember,

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I said to my introduction, we are living at a time when the OMA is bleeding.

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The kind of issues I deal with in the community doesn't shock me anymore. Does not shock me anymore.

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Right? Most of our homes are set places because the issue is an attitudinal thing. attitude will thing you must show to say to someone, I love my wife, and she does not experience that love. That means you do not love her. You cannot love her in your heart is a manifestation through kindness, to hug to hug each other. And that's very, very important. So how many of you are married? Put your hands up please. I can see you.

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Sophia smiling. Sophia looking very depressed session.

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So you are are you happily married?

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Hey, right now you're happily married brother.

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Sister. You're also happily married to him. Right? Nice to ah, Suleiman. Right. Okay. So this is important. So I'm gonna suggest something to you. I want to suggest things to you and what I would like you to do my friends.

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What I'd like you to do

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I really believe sometimes you know, people give up. They say you know

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My husband, my wife will never change.

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We are all capable of change. We are all capable of understanding who we are. Because some of us have grown up

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with there was no love. When they grew up, they could not be addicted to that love. But they were addicted to toxic behavior, negativity.

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When they saw the father being harsh, being brutal, they thought this is the norm. This is how you treat people. That's not the way it is not the way the other day and I was sharing this with some of my friends. The other day, please tell me how many minutes oh god, normally I have a calendar when I speak, you know? Really, okay, I can Guam's warming up right. You're enjoying my talk and on the hunt. If you want more to grab, put your hands up the all of you Okay.

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Okay. So, the other day, for example,

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I was helping a family out.

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And a mother was crying.

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She was crying.

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And she said to her sons and the daughters and they big. She's a grandmother. They all had kids. She said to them, I do not mind your come here weekly. To have meals with me. I do not mind when y'all go out. Right? When y'all go out.

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To you're

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out anyway. You leave your grandchildren with us. I have no issue with that.

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But how come none of y'all have ever invited me to your home?

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She was crying. And all of them were sitting as I'm sitting. No one went to the mother. No one wiped away a tear. No one has the same Maha. Maha is Sophie Ma. Ma. Don't cry Ma. The tears of a mother mean nothing to us. They mean nothing to us. That particular man whose wife was supposed to see me and he broke both legs. Where's his What is wrong with him? Is he an animal?

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So I'm suggesting to y'all my beloved brother, how many? Five minutes? Okay, a good five minutes. Tell them Mama's talk.

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No, I respect time. Really? I respect them. Right? I'll be coming back you know, and I hope I'm not going to be a recurring nightmare.

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See all of you please come back. I see the beginning we look at it.

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What can I do? Right. Right. Right.

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Amen. I like it.

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Anyway.

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So this lady phones me up? You know, this is the attitude men have also got a remember me woman don't think you ain't Julie key. No, no, no, no, no. Right? Right. So anyway, so this man tells his wife, you can go to camisa for counseling, I'm not prepared to come to him. Nothing wrong with me

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is perfect.

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The next day, she sends me a message he says

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Sorry, brother, I cannot make it for counseling. I'm in hospital, my husband broke both my legs.

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So, I want to suggest three things which are likely to implement.

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I want you firstly

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husband and wife to say

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we forgive each other

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they start on a brand new page.

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Secondly, let us be role models for our children. Let us express our love to each other. Let us become addicted to each other.

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Let us become dependent and also interdependent with each other. Let us show the manifestations of love in different ways.

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Let us listen with empathy without interrupting

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the last point is this.

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If you leave Allah Embera soul from your home, you will not find true love.

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an hour to end it off. I know you also heard some Cydonia Indonesia

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they all love me What can I do me? Like I know I always ask my wife. I don't you know my wife and I asked my wife you know did you marry me for my only from my good looks my intelligence and my Chang

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and my wife, Allah bless her. Allah bless her name is Roxana right Allah bless him. I love you

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Maybe

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I don't spend much time at home because

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she wanted an outstanding husband. I'm standing outside. No, no

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I'm so brilliant. I'm so relaxed.

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My last my last point, this is a ritual. When you leave home, no matter what happened, leave with a smile. You must see your wife smiling. When I leave home, my wife is the door. She's smiling and I turned around again. I mean,

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now that I do, I do that.

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Again my neck excites everyone morning.

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Then I go down the road, and cheese the cheese sells there on the apartment, and I look now I see a lot of ladies this and I say no not for you.

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And my wife is looking

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is only for my wife. They sin. May Allah bless you my DWIs Allah bring your together, right because I do not want to have regressed the twilight years of your life. Allah bless you shukran As Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato. And I like it