Tijaarah Series – Avoid Conflict

Ebrahim Bham


Channel: Ebrahim Bham

File Size: 42.18MB

Episode Notes

Live like Brothers, deal like strangers

Share Page

Transcript ©

AI generated text may display inaccurate or offensive information that doesn’t represent Muslim Central's views. Thus,no part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever.

00:00:08--> 00:00:10

Salam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

00:00:15--> 00:00:17

Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah

00:00:18--> 00:00:53

wa Salatu was Salam. ala Milena Viva La Mulana Viva Viva La Motta vadoma de la vida kitabi well actually at Avada Shariati mavado foldover let him initiate Ani rajim Bismillahi Rahmani Raheem Wanaka Seraph Nalin se v huddle Khurana min Cooley muscle. We're gonna live in CERN. Satoshi in Jeddah. What Allah tala in Mena f1 fastly kobane awaken what Taka Allah, Allah Allah come to the Hammond sakala who has him

00:00:54--> 00:01:39

My dear respected elders and brothers. We begin by praising Almighty Allah subhanho wa Taala. For the many favors Allah has bestowed upon us says the line the Quran went out dooney amatola de la sua. If you try and count the favors of Allah, you will be unable to do so. And after enumerating and saying that you will be unable to town the favors of Allah upon you. Allah says in alien sanella Saruman kuffaar human being is very unjust, and human being is very ungrateful to Allah despite having so many favors. He is still ungrateful. who send salutations upon our beloved nivia Kareem sallallahu alayhi wa sallam through whom we have received the deen and the message of Allah says

00:01:39--> 00:02:24

Allah Allah Quran lachemann Allahu Allah mini in his basa fee him Rasulullah min unforseen Allah has done you a tremendous favor when he sent upon you and are a soul from amongst your own kind from amongst human beings the way you are a human being. Yet Lu Allah him and then Allah tala goes on to enumerate some of his great qualities. For others, you and I, we are social beings. We interact with people. We are supposed to interact with people Allah has made us such that we are supposed to interact, says Allah in the Holy Quran. Hello Collinson, Allah who began I have created human beings, and I have taught him the method of communicating and I have taught him the method of

00:02:24--> 00:02:30

speaking a llama hold pyin I taught him and gave him the faculty of the tongue to be able to communicate.

00:02:34--> 00:02:37

We are social beings. And that is the reason why

00:02:39--> 00:03:25

I have heard from scholars that we are perhaps one of the few species in the world, that when we meet with one another we meet chest to chest. So when we speak to one another, we speak to chest chest to chest nebia Kareem Salah Walla wa sallam head, the Edit virtue and attribute that nebia Kareem said Allahu alayhi wa sallam whenever he met with someone never saw them was never the first to turn away from that person. When maybe a cream sauce, looked at someone maybe saw slim was never the first to avert the gaze. This was a greatness of our beloved Nivea cream sauce. In the animal kingdom, for example, when one animal shows the other animal that the front of his body, the chest,

00:03:26--> 00:04:07

it's a sign of submission is not a sign of communication. It's a sign of submission. So Allah Allah has made us such that we and you and I we are social beads and Allah wants us to be like that. And now wants us to interact in a Muslim visa howdy that nebia cream sauce limit said al Muslim lady, you Holly to nurse ya US Bureau Allah Allah whom Cairo Mina, Muslim Isla de la yo Holly to nurse while is guru, Allah as a Muslim that interacts with people mingles with people, and bears patiently the tribulation and the trial of while dealing with people the difficulty that comes with difficulty dealing with people

00:04:09--> 00:04:45

and make somewhere upon that he is better than that Muslim who does not intermingle with people. He is better than that Muslim who did not interact with people. And he doesn't have to make supper upon the inconvenience. Now how many times you hear people saying, but I read my numbers, I go home, I don't want to get involved with anyone. But how many times do you hear that I don't want to get involved with anyone. Yes, we don't get involved with one another in terms of dispute. But if it is done with the intention that I don't want to interact with people, according to this Hadith, it is better to intermingle with people interact with people. Even if we have to make sever upon the

00:04:45--> 00:05:00

inconvenience, then this particular attitude that I won't intermingle with people I don't have to worry about the inconvenience of making suffer upon the inconvenience. A Muslim who interacts with people intermingles with people, he is better than that Muslim who doesn't interact

00:05:00--> 00:05:31

mingle, doesn't interact and doesn't have to make supper upon the inconvenience. However, in interaction, it's a natural thing that there is going to be sometimes an aspect of disputes there's going to be an aspect of misunderstanding. That is why amazingly the Holy Quran Allah tala is also referred to this, analyze indicated to this, and had Jewish huruma Luma Forman for over fee in El Hajj Valera Fatah wa fukuhara. Je de la fille Hajj

00:05:32--> 00:06:17

is in the prescribed months upon whomsoever Hajj becomes part of Ferrara fatawa, so there must be no immortality there must be no sin. Wala g de la fille Hajj, there must be no argumentation. The Allah mercy the reason why Allah when he made hatch for us in this ayah and said hatches for us upon you, amongst the things Allah told you to stay away from in hajis stay away from argumentation why, because it hides you are doing everything together. The chances of argumentation the chances of misunderstanding is more, because you are interacting with people, you are going together in a group in a group there are people who are going in there doing things. So there is greater interaction

00:06:17--> 00:06:56

with people therefore Allah specifically mentioned wala g de la fille Hodge and do not argue in hajj, because you are going to interact therefore stay away from argumentation. I was reading once, you know, the struggles of image where and I found one aspect very, very interesting. So even if you were went for Hajj from Spain, almost 800 years back eight centuries back eight 900 years after you know there's a time he went for Hajj almost six some centuries back. So he went from Spain, he came across to North Africa and he came to Egypt and he crossed the Red Sea. And then he came to near Gita and from there he came for Hajj. So there was one aspect that I found very interesting. He say

00:06:56--> 00:07:41

he writes that when they took the boat from Egypt to go across the Red Sea, and come to Hijaz, he said, and he wrote very bad about those people who said that ships they way they fill that ships, the way they didn't worry about the Haji. They were more worried about making money rather than worrying about the comforts of the Haji and I said that the complaints with regard to the travel agents have weighed four which is 800 years old. From that time he was complaining about the people who are filling the ships are only for the sake of money without worrying about the comfort of the Hajji. So in other essays what will happen? Now in this particular manner is this argumentation and

00:07:42--> 00:08:24

disputes and arguments is no ordinary matter. It is disliked in our Sharia. There are situations in the Holy Quran, where Allah mentions that certain times there is laudable argumentation, there are certain times where there is low level argumentation where you calling people towards the truth and in calling people that towards the truth, they might have a different perspective and then you are calling them to the truth through a means of good argument. widow healer severely or have become ill hikma well mo is Attila has an anti Illuminati he acts and called people towards a way of Allah subhanho wa Taala with wisdom with good advice and through the means of argumentation which is good.

00:08:25--> 00:09:15

They also in argumentation Allah tala says and another ayat of the Quran, Allah Allah Al Kitab illegibility here, on the first page of the 21st supatra do not argue with Nikita except in a way that is acid, which is poison which is beautiful. So certain times argumentation is laudable and in that been laudable that also allatra tacos or talks about argumentation with Hassan and was beautiful. manners and conduct is never been a way in our Sharia that we find argumentation which comes down to the level and boils down to the level of vulgarity and abuse. There hasn't been that you find the Quran and Hadith that types of argumentation. However, there are these aspects of

00:09:15--> 00:09:57

laudable argumentation but by and large, Allah tala has told us the situation of the lyonya Buster theologian who was sent by God allowed him to win, argue with the with the coverage, and he through the means of the force of his argumentation. And the force of his evidence with regard to Quran and Hadith changed many of the coverage. The extreme sect that was that came about in the time of a little yellow tribe who many of them came upon the right path and those who did not come as it literally allowed them to make jihad against them. But by and large, men by nature is argumentative, and it furthers I read and I attend Soraka have we Allah tala says, and we have indeed put forth in

00:09:57--> 00:09:59

the Holy Quran repeatedly for men

00:10:00--> 00:10:47

Every kind of example in putting forward the truth are currently in Santa Fe in juggler. But human being is very far ahead in contention and in argumentation. human being is very far hired for Connor in Santa Clara shangela he loves to argue. He is sometimes inclined towards argumentation. Maybe aquariums are allowed to sell in one day, when to go in, wake up someone for salah and that person, maybe perhaps he was sleepy, and he made mentioning He said, If Allah tala wanted to wake us up for salat, Allah would wake us up and let me occur himself silom walked away from them saying we're gonna add in some extra Shea in general a human being is prone towards argumentation. So Allah tala,

00:10:47--> 00:11:28

he puts it forth in the Holy Quran in such a way that this is one of the characteristics of the neffs the lower self, which we have been commanded to suppress. So Allah Allah says, In alien Santa Europeana code, and Allah says human being is prone towards ungratefulness. He doesn't mean now, because Allah says human being is prone towards being natural, and ungratefulness You must become ungrateful. Allah tala tells us this that you must suppress the lowly desire. So Allah tala when he tells us human being is prone towards argumentation. It doesn't mean now you must go and argue because Allah Allah says human being is prone towards argumentation. It tells us to suppress the

00:11:28--> 00:12:12

desire that is there for you to go and argue. And otherwise, Allah tala NBA krimson Allahu alayhi wa sallam has made mentioned about the harms of argumentation in the set in the second group who have the 10 Super and the 10 Jews of the Holy Quran. In surah. Anfal, Allah tala means mentions, whether then as for tough, shallow water, the herbaria who come when Earth and don't dispute and argue and now will make you weak and make you cowards and allow will take away your stand by argumentation. When you dispute and argue under the law takes away your strength. Look at today the Muslim Ummah is arguing and disputing in a way that perhaps has never been before like that in the history of Islam.

00:12:13--> 00:12:53

And the reason because of that is we have become weak. We have become cowards. Allah has taken away our strength, because of what Allah himself has made mentioned, as it more than I used to say brahma tulalip, the son of monongalia sobre la la is to say that until the Muslim Omar does not become united and act like one single entity, Allah assistance will not come upon them. And he used to give the example he said in the time of Madina, munawwara if they were 10,000 people, then every one had the backing, everyone had the sympathy. Everyone had the head, the support of 9999 people, no one wished him ill.

00:12:54--> 00:13:38

Today we take pride in bringing down people. So illiteracy is one I don't dispute and argue. And now I will take over your strengths. I have seen families in front of my eyes I've seen families were so great. And they had such great empires. When they start arguing and started disputing, Allah tala took away the elettra took away the stench. They never they never remain the empire that they were. So Allah subhanho wa Taala in the sea ribnica fear Allah keep Nicosia smiley magnanimity casilando Lally, which mentioned that novia Kareem said Allah wa sallam was coming to tell the humor of the precise night of Laila to follow when two people who are arguing people who are two people who are

00:13:38--> 00:13:53

fighting and in the case of Siri rights, because of the argumentation of this, it was so it was so disliked, that Allah tala lifted this knowledge away from this modality of karma, because of argumentation

00:13:54--> 00:14:07

is a different method that there is other wisdom that have come about. But the fact of the matter is because of that arguing of two people and Latin I lifted, that don't is still the day of karma. Has that Look, man, the wives, the wives had said

00:14:08--> 00:14:51

that may look Cyril Mira, yes, Tim, oh, just use them. It depends how you can say. And both of these are full of wisdom, he who it gets involved in arguments, he will abuse someone or either he will get abused by someone. When you argue with someone, either you're gonna you're going to abuse someone, you're going to swear someone or someone is going to sway you. And both of these things are not good. Why should you argue and why should you abuse someone? Why should you be abused? So may you mirror them or use them? So this is something that we have to keep in mind. Do not dispute and stay away from fire spy as possible from dispute. There's been a dispute in the time of nebia Karim

00:14:51--> 00:14:59

saucer, there were various types of disputes. They were domestic arguments. They were sometimes arguments between the wives of our beloved nemea Kareem Salah Salem

00:15:00--> 00:15:13

Maybe a criminal law value asylum, dealt with it most wisely. And always, maybe Kareem Salalah sillim put the lid upon that dispute that is and become more worse, not exacerbate the situation.

00:15:16--> 00:15:47

One day nebia Kareem saw slim as an eyeshadow Viola had a difference of opinion. And this is very interesting. So when they had a difference of opinion, they said we're going to have a mediator, someone who must mediate between us in the difference over so they decided apart as a co worker of Viola right now Abu Bakr, a theologian who came in and he started, you know, listening to one another. So you see I'm a worker of yellow Toronto was overwhelmed by the love of Nivea creams are allowed to sell them. And perhaps in this instance, he was perhaps

00:15:49--> 00:16:30

in this instance, he took the side of Nivea cream sauce them because of his overwhelming love for Nivea cream salsa. So in Sri Sri Ravi Allahu taala got up. And as I share with you a lot of you made her case that this is actually happened. And this is my argument, and this is a difference of opinion. Has it ever occurred because of his love for the VA Kareem salsa became extremely angry with Hassan Ayesha, how dare you speak about the nephew of Allah like this, even if it was his own daughter, to such an extent that he got up out of anger. And while he was called to mediate between the two parties, nebia Kareem saw Salaam stood in front of Abubakar and protect that as a Sharia

00:16:30--> 00:17:11

law. And he was trying to, you know, get a designation of the ultimate behind the vehicle himself. And himself says our worker go away from your you are perhaps not in the right frame of mind to make the mediation. So our worker theologian went away. They after I shared nebbia Kareem saw Selim, they say Mia Bibi Raza kasi, if Mia Devi and the husband and wife they become, you know, they resolve the issue. You don't need a third party. So in that particular instance, they started talking and they started laughing over the whole incident or something. And avocado villatoro came after a while. And he saw them they were you know, laughing and they were sort of smiling. synnovia says the Latino

00:17:11--> 00:17:54

said, can I become now part of your laughter and you're smiling the way I was part of your difference of opinion, right. So sometimes there was this difference of opinion. Now what what did, how do we deal with these differences of opinion? The first thing is avoid a dispute as far as possible. Avoid a dispute as far as possible. We all know the very famous I thought about homology, Luna kalu Salama, when the Jaya Hill and the ignorant person throws you into an argument, say Sarah say peace. I don't want to get involved in an argument. Stay away from an argument as far as possible. So the first thing that you do in terms of any dispute, walk away from an argument stay

00:17:54--> 00:18:36

away from an argument. Stay away from a place where you feel that you are going to get involved in our argument. There are so many examples of this. And it is corroborated in the Hadith. Now via cream sauce. alum said he does. baja Dooku. If anyone fights with you and argues with you, when you are in Rosa, when you are faced with fasting, failure, call any moron Sam, tell him that by I don't want to argue with you. I don't want to argue with you. I'm fasting. So what it is that when you are sometimes worse, stay away from an argument Don't get involved in a place or in in a conversation. When you feel you're going to get involved in argument if you know that. I'm going to go there. I'm

00:18:36--> 00:18:57

definitely going to get involved in arguments stay away from the place. In fact, we learned from one incident of nemea Kareem saw cillum that even if there is an environment, which is tense, then remove the tenseness take away the tension. Right. You know in whenever Kareem saw Solomon the husband he musta locked navia himself Allahu Allah wa sallam

00:18:58--> 00:19:42

when the via Karim saw Salaam was in there as well, then the the obey of niqab now obey even a cop was very influential. He was a leader of the monarchy but he was very influential. He was about to be crowned the leader of the people of Medina before the coming of Libya Kareem salsa. So in that there was an argument that happened between a mohajir dinner and sir someone from the mohajir and someone from De Anza. And he used that as a pretext to create a war and to create dispute an argument between the Mohegan Sun and he used and he said Leo Raja Anna lol Medina, the way Allah has made mention of it in the Quran. In surah, Manasa Poon, Yoko Luna, la Raja Ana el Medina, the

00:19:42--> 00:19:50

regional uzume in hell as we who are honorable, we will expel Eliyahu Bella those who are disgraceful.

00:19:51--> 00:20:00

So he made so zedi playfab it was a young Sahabi from the answer. He heard him saying this, he went to the VA Kareem saw cillum you

00:20:00--> 00:20:50

azula babe niqab said, We are honorable. We will expel who the people of Makkah who are Leah Bella disgraceful. So when he said this, who babe niqab said, This man is a young person, what does he say? I never say such a thing. I never said such a thing. And there was an argument that was brewing. Go look at the books of Sierra Nevada, Kareem said Allahu alayhi wa sallam to remove the tension nebia Kareem saw cillum travel. Besides emergency stops nebia Kareem saw Islam travel one way for one and a half days. So everyone started getting involved in the travel. And there was no time and no chance to talk about the incident. So sometimes to stay away from stay away from an

00:20:50--> 00:20:59

argument as far as possible. Now you and I, we get provoked into arguments we make we make statements that exacerbates the arguments.

00:21:00--> 00:21:40

In our in our domestic life. Sometimes in our, in our in our business life in our community life, we stir and we create problems, rather than staying away and walking away from a problem. So they said the wife one day as the husband can say now she was in a good mood. It was a time of anniversary, and said you know what? It is time for our anniversary we have now got married for so many years, 20 years, 35 years, I think is a nice time for you to give me you know, a good gift. And she indicated what type of gifts you won. And she said, I want something that goes from zero to 100 in six seconds. Maybe she had in mind a golf two or something or a golf, golf. So I want somebody that goes

00:21:40--> 00:22:05

from zero to 100 in a few seconds. So there has been protests weighing scale indicated argument. So stay away from argument zone access away, you know, so one day the wife was selling the hair the husband that you know, I'm I'm starting to get old, I can see some wrinkles on my face, you know and look at I just came down from the things that you know certain amount of wrinkles are coming here Tell me something complimentary. So, the husband says I said is very good.

00:22:06--> 00:22:49

Stay away from these steps. So the first thing is walked away with a hot tub. Oh Jay lucado Salama, second thing consider unilateral withdrawal, this is very difficult. But sometimes if you are in an argument, if you are in a dispute, consider just withdrawing from the situation. Not because you feel that you are wrong. Or the person whom you are having a dispute with is necessary, right? But you just don't have the capacity. You don't have the energy, you don't have the time to be involved in a dispute. And in this particular regard, there's a hadith in Abu Dhabi, which is so beautiful, which talks about the virtue of unilateral withdrawal from a from a dispute. And as he must be based

00:22:49--> 00:22:56

in fear what's attorney Jenna lemon, Tara Kamara who ever happen I guarantee a house in the middle of Jana.

00:22:58--> 00:23:05

I guarantee our house it may be a cream sauces. I'm in the middle of Jenna. For someone who walks away from an argument while he is correct.

00:23:06--> 00:23:12

I guarantee a house in the middle of Gemina for someone who walks away from an argument while he is correct.

00:23:13--> 00:23:54

But can you imagine such a great reward for what for walking away from an argument and not exacerbating the argument or not creating more arguments? Second thing to consider unilateral withdrawal? Thirdly, if for example, you can and perhaps one of the examples you can give, sometimes, you know, we we we create law all the time fighting for rights. And we don't realize that sometimes it is more important for us to fulfill our duty and responsibility than fighting for rights. In this particular regard, I'm not sure but perhaps it might fit in here. I was reading as a chair from Collins facility Jarrah. And in the very first few few pages. He has quoted the statement

00:23:54--> 00:24:06

of a great St. an alum in our history of the library Mubarak Rahmatullah Lee, who said, it is better for you to give one dyrham back to its rightful owner,

00:24:07--> 00:24:15

it's better for you to give one Durham back to its rightful owner, then to give 600,000 Durham's in charity,

00:24:16--> 00:24:40

it's better for you to go and fulfill your rights and fulfill your duties and go and give back what you are offering to people. And many times people don't know though owing people big time owing people and you you have sign mo use and you have said I owe you all of that. And when the person goes and asks you for his money, you said I don't have money. And the next week you have gone to formula

00:24:41--> 00:24:49

is better for you to give one state one DRAM back to its rightful owner than to spend that money in omura on a film camera or to go and spend in charity.

00:24:50--> 00:24:59

So sometimes consider unilateral withdrawal. And if you cannot consider when your natural withdrawal then the third aspect that the Quran and Hadith tells us

00:25:00--> 00:25:17

is go and reach a compromise. Allah in the Quran has made mention of it in the first superar of the Quran was sohio compromise is good. Now what is compromise, and many times people don't understand this it is you know, compromise means

00:25:18--> 00:25:53

coming to a settlement, and what is the settlement settlement is given take. So you give some of your you you forego some of your rights, with the intention of getting some of your rights in the seminar, the other party also he agrees, and he does the same thing. Our elderly people used to say many good things, you know, some of them, some of them used to be perhaps questionable, but some of the things they used to say was full of wisdom. And they used to say, a settlement in which sometimes you don't get all what you want, is better than winning

00:25:54--> 00:25:57

is better than winning a judgment in court.

00:25:58--> 00:26:40

You go to court and you win, but many times in winning that particular court case, you will never get what you want completely and sometimes in a settlement, it is better than getting less than what you anticipated and expected in a settlement, then winning in court. And one of the one of the reasons why settlement is good was so Ohio, Allah says in the Quran, compromise and settlement is good. The reason is, that particular decision is in your hands, you decide how much I can settle, how much I cannot settle, and you agree upon the terms and the conditions of the settlement. So therefore, letter A says was so high.

00:26:41--> 00:27:11

And then the fourth thing after consider is that you go you know maybe perhaps before that I should even make mention of before the aspect of compromise in mediation is after considering unilateral withdrawal, sometimes you could even forgive also and forgiveness is a step maybe before mediation and before settlement, where you know that you are owed something but you forgive it for the sake of Allah tala. Now this is very interesting, what is the definition of forgiveness?

00:27:12--> 00:27:17

The definition of forgiveness is a right to which you are entitled to

00:27:18--> 00:27:57

you acknowledge that someone is supposed to give you the right. Which is to say you didn't say to me through the legal recompense of a right that is due to you is to do the legal recompense of someone doing something wrong is to do likewise wrong to you three. So if someone slaps you, right, you have the legal right prevent slipping back in return. If he took you 100 grand, you are legally entitled to go and take 100 grand back from him, which as I was saying he didn't say to me through the legal recompense of wrong done to you is to do that much back to that person. But from an alpha asla half.

00:27:59--> 00:28:03

But if you forgive and you reconcile your peace with Allah subhanho wa Taala.

00:28:05--> 00:28:52

So if you forgive your reward with Allah, so it doesn't mean that you are saying that you are not entitled to it but you have forgiven it. When Dafu Acropolis taqwa if you forgive it is closer towards piety. It is closer towards righteousness. And many times people you know, we feel that if we have to fight, it is a great act of courage. It's a great act of courage if you fight. Islam has taught us it is a great act of courage for you to forgive. The person who can forgive others quickly is the strongest type of people because he has control over his emotions. Therefore line the Holy Quran. When he speaks about forgiveness, you'll find this amazing when a man sabara was in nirali

00:28:52--> 00:29:10

column in asmall. Omar he who makes over and forgives, it's an act of great courage. Courage is not to take revenge, courage is to forgive when either mas or the boom Yuffie ruin the believer. He has that qualities he can forgive while he is angry.

00:29:11--> 00:29:52

That's an amazing quality he can forgive while he is angry. So firstly, we said unilateral you know firstly walk away from an argument. Secondly, unilateral withdrawal. Thirdly, forgive. So that means you are entitled to it but you forgive for the sake of Allah you are rewarded with Allah, it is closer towards piety. Then the fourth thing is made mentioned was with regard to settlement and I have spoken about settlement. Then the fourth thing is also give it to mediation and arbitration. So you get someone to mediate in your affair or you get someone to arbitrate in your favor. There is a slight difference in terms of mediation arbitration. Mediation is a little bit akin to settlement in

00:29:52--> 00:29:59

the sense is someone tries to bring the two parties together. Right? And luckily the Holy Quran has made mention of it.

00:30:00--> 00:30:47

weigh in Clifton shikaka benei Hema forbartha hakama min Allahi wa hakama min Allah, e reader is La La Vina Houma is the husband and wife are fighting in the has, oh, they have dispute dispute and arguments. So the husband will have one person from his side as a mediator, the wife will have one person from her side as a mediator. And Allah tala says the two will get together to try and reconcile the differences. So here is a mediation. So you mediation is bringing two people together, and trying to create a settlement in between with regard to the dispute. Arbitration is a next step. Arbitration is where you give someone the right to make a decision in your matter. So the two

00:30:47--> 00:31:09

parties agree and said, You either go to the court, you either go to a person whom we both have, you know, a certain degree of respect for you say, you go and make the decision. And then you go, and you go and give your argument, the other person go and give the argument, you cross examine one another in front of the arbitrator, and the arbitrator makes a ruling.

00:31:10--> 00:31:55

Right? in mediation, things are to a certain extent within your control. In arbitration, things are not in your control. Therefore, they allow us to advise people towards mediation, rather than arbitration, who say as far as possible, settle your matters with mediation, because in mediation, the method is in your control, you can decide, listen, this matter, this is something I can get into, and this is something that I can compromise on. So you decide on the matter, you can also decide to what extent I can compromise, you can also decide to what extent I can go in a particular matter. So then there is the aspect of mediation and arbitration. However, if you go to arbitration,

00:31:55--> 00:32:20

and I will go on to make mention of it. And that is, do not seek any specific outcome when you go to arbitration. do not seek any specific outcome. Don't go there with the intention for the arbitrator to confirm what is your viewpoint? Do you not expect specific outcomes in the arbitration? Because then you are defeating the purpose of arbitration? If you feel that you are definitely right, why are you paying for arbitration?

00:32:21--> 00:32:35

So sometimes in arbitration, you have to take this into account don't expect a specific outcome, that is necessarily according to your expectation, sometimes the expectation will be a go against what you are feeling.

00:32:40--> 00:32:41

Our alumni have written

00:32:42--> 00:33:00

nearly every nearly every conflict is reconcilable, nearly every conflict you can reconcile, you can come to an agreement, you can avoid the conflict you can resolve the conflict and they have given us certain types of ways one is please Allah subhanho wa Taala.

00:33:01--> 00:33:19

Dog go and do. What is it one is to please Allah, you trying to resolve an issue not to show who is right and wrong not to become proud and arrogant with regard to to please Allah. Allah loves the person who comes in reconciles Allah Allah loves Allah, Allah in the Holy Quran says,

00:33:21--> 00:33:22

For us, obey.

00:33:24--> 00:33:50

The believers are brothers unto another, reconcile people. Firstly, who may not awaken So firstly, that is a second the second thing is you must have genuine and correct intention says align the Holy Quran with regard to when the husband and wife bring two mediators. Allah in the Quran has used this word, he you read his law heyyo fetullah obey no Houma if they seek reconciliation, Allah will bring them together.

00:33:52--> 00:34:00

If the husband and wife and the parties come together, seeking reconciliation, Allah says I will reconcile them. intention is very important one after the

00:34:01--> 00:34:20

other Yeah, Abdullah, whoever takes the wealth of people as alone and his intention is to repeat, Allah will make the means of the repayment. But if anyone takes the wealth of a person on loan and his intention is not to pay, Allah will destroy that wealth and Allah will destroy his wealth also.

00:34:21--> 00:35:00

So firstly, please allow sin secondly, genuine intention. Thirdly, understand your role in the conflict. See, the Quran says yeah, you will land in Morocco, no, Amina bill of tasty Shahada, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah and forsaken. Stand up as a witness to Allah for justice, even if it be against yourself. Sometimes, in getting reconciliation, you have to stand out firmly and acknowledge your role in that particular conflict. You might be wrong, or you might not be completely wrong or you might

00:35:00--> 00:35:22

I have done something that is given rise to the conflict. So acknowledge your own the way the Holy Quran tells us stand up clearly for the sake of justice, even if it be against your own self, even if it be against your own interests, even if it be against your own family members. Then the fourth thing I will Am I said, genuine desire for justice and the truth not winning.

00:35:23--> 00:35:50

Your conflicts can be resolved if you have a genuine desire for the truth, for justice not winning. One of the most amazing statements of humility you will find is the statement of Imam Shafi Rahmatullah Lee, who said, whenever I have disputed or argued a matter, especially on religion on someone, I make dua to Almighty Allah, Allah puts the truth on his tongue that I can submit to the truth.

00:35:51--> 00:36:11

Most of the time when I when we argue, we all the time arguing that person is wrong, he's on battle. He's like this and I am the one who is right. This is this amazing statement of Imam Shafi Rama Talalay, whenever I ask you a religious point with someone I make dua, to Allah make the truth come out on his tongue that I can submit towards it.

00:36:12--> 00:36:24

Now that is a situation. So sometimes, we have to look at genuine desire for justice, not only with regard to winning, and amongst other things, the fourth thing is the willingness to break the cycle.

00:36:25--> 00:36:49

The willingness to break the cycle of arguments and disputes. You know, I sometimes find it very amazing. And I find it very sad. And I find it very petty. I tweeted this Few days ago, one of my pet hates is pettiness. And I can't I can't sometimes see people who are fighting for 2030 years. And the poison is carrying on from one generation to the other.

00:36:50--> 00:37:03

So the nephew doesn't speak to the uncle because the uncle had a dispute with his father, and is carrying on and on and on. And no one has the capacity and one has the courage to break the cycle of disputes.

00:37:05--> 00:37:48

At the time of the Treaty of Abia, showed in a practical terms of how to break the cycle of violence. On such a time, I don't want to go into it. It's such an amazing thing. Sahaba were prepared to fight till death Sahaba were not happy with many of the clauses of the peace treaty. And maybe a cream sauce is pushing for the peace treaty to such an extent that emotionally became so difficult that in that particular treaty if someone comes from Makkah from the Muslims come and he comes to the Muslims, the Muslims must return him while they were about to sign the treaty. Abu jandal comes and he is in chain. He has been tortured the signs of his torture upon his upon his

00:37:48--> 00:38:01

body. And at that time, Navy occur himself Salaam sees him and his father swale bill Ahmed is leading the negotiation on behalf of the Quraysh right and the victim so some self swale,

00:38:02--> 00:38:12

your your son wants to come to us he's a Muslim, let him come and swale set but the treaty says wherever Muslim comes to you, you must return him.

00:38:13--> 00:38:24

And nopea cream sauce lamb said the treaty is not signed Sahaba as it is, the treaty said you must take out your harm. You are 1215 kilometers away from Makkah you must

00:38:25--> 00:39:09

already they are they are upset about it. Here they see abou gentle coming in such a situation and they are more greatly distressed. And maybe a cream sauce from said Suhail, let him come. And he said no, I won't let him come the 3d still not saying I won't sign the treaty. Now via cream sauces or abou gender, go and mix our our sign the treaty, break the cycle of violence break the cycle of disputes. So the five things together with other which I've made mentioned is to please Allah, genuine attain attention, intention, clear understanding of your own inner conflict, not that you might necessarily be wrong, but maybe something that we have done that could have avoided the

00:39:09--> 00:39:23

conflict or could have averted that conflict, genuine desire for justice, and the fourth thing, the willingness to break the cycle, these are things that we have to be keeping in mind and you know, an important point in this particular regard is

00:39:28--> 00:39:33

many times when we get involved in these types of disputes and arguments, and then one of the things that happens is

00:39:34--> 00:39:59

that we become very judgmental, we start judging the motives of people, we judge the motives and I will now come towards, you know, just a few words on the financial, I set inshallah 45 to 50 minutes, another 1010 minutes or so, I will try and conclude the talk. You know, this just to give you an example of how being judgmental, we don't we when you're discussing with someone with regard to resolving conflict, don't judge the motive.

00:40:00--> 00:40:35

Have people deal with the issue at hand, sometimes is in small issue. Like sometimes you have to lift the table, or lifting the table is something that you know you one side, one person catches from one side, the other person catches from one side that the table is lifted. Now there is such a small issue of lifting a table, we can come to that conclusion, because we are more worried about who's right and who's wrong, whether you must stand on that side and pick up the table, or I must stand on the side and pick up the table. And we just lose the opportunity with regard to resolving the conflict. has a massive new job, Olivia loutra who one day came to me via cream sauce? Yeah,

00:40:35--> 00:40:53

Rasulullah this person is a monophonic he's a hypocrite. Why is he a hypocrite? jasola when I performs Petia salat wa Jamaat he was a member of a Masjid outside Madina munawwara so when he was, you know, outside Madina, munawwara he was a mom, this person at the time of Russia, he used to

00:40:55--> 00:41:21

reach out on his own and go away to the to his house, that time not to read namaz with Gemma was a sign of hypocrisy sign of moon Africa. Therefore, it comes in a hadith that even the monastic used to come to further Salat and Isha Serato Jamaat because it was a sign of a man soon so nebia cream sauce them got very worried how can a person write in the time of Petia Serato DJ Ahmad How can you read Serato on his own?

00:41:23--> 00:41:56

So maybe a cream sauce them summoned him and maybe a cream sauce listen to him. And what do you know what he said? He said jasola we are people of you know we are people who go out in the fields. We are farmers. We go out after fudger we come back at the end of the day we are extremely tired. We come early Petia Salah as early as can be you know, go to Bible Salah. So you go early for first for Isha Salah. So when you Galicia we want to go there and a mama's real quickly so that we can go and sleep right? And yours was imageable is really Soraka

00:41:57--> 00:42:13

Allah Shaka Zulu leather. Mostly they will read the Quran at most Isha time. They won't go more than that. Mr. Mas ma Jabbar is reading surah baqarah and reading all of Surah Al e Imran. Yeah jasola we can manage now via cream sauce from Cole Mahajan, mutual, Omaha.

00:42:15--> 00:42:57

Omaha are you putting people into trial? Omar How can you read such Salah. such long salad maybe a cream sauce lamb gave a judgement in his favor. Nivea cream sauce from said, Omar From now onwards read read in the time of Russia for some idea through barrage and sub base murghab because Allah those type of students don't go and read Soraka and alleman. But because he called, as it was, told him that he was a monarchy, it hurt him very deeply. It hurt him very deeply. So he said Omaha's one day I will show you who's a hypocrite who is not a hypocrite. He went out in Jihad and he sacrificed his life in the path of a lie became Shaheed when he became Shahid, nebia cream sauce them called

00:42:57--> 00:43:35

Mohan Omar the person who you call the hypocrite. Today he gave his life in the path of Allah to a sacrifice his life in the path of Allah tala. We don't we don't judge motives. Allah knows people's motives. So that is part of the resolving Now coming back, there are different types of you know, each and every one. And each and every one of these require these religious arguments. That's a topic on its own. Maybe, in today's day religious arguments will take couple of hours to speak on right, then they are domestic arguments, then there are financial arguments. And in financial arguments, we will find many times disputes regarding to money and property have destroyed.

00:43:35--> 00:44:18

relationship has destroyed families. And this is so unfortunate. So many closed, close family ties have transformed. And financial disputes have transformed situations in the family. And if sometimes even turn close friends into arch enemies. Sometimes it happens all the time. We only worried about money. I made mention of this one day, a person was sitting he was very depressed. So someone said Why are you depressed? He said, you know, things are bad, why are things are bad? He said, You know what, two years ago, all of a sudden I got a call. You know, someone from India came and told me that your great grandfather, he's a mean good soul. And part of that particular type of inheritance

00:44:18--> 00:44:40

came your way. And you got a couple of 100,000 rent. So hamdulillah he said, so that means something good has happened. So you got Kapalama Then why are you depressed? He said last year, my grandfather's estate got rounded up. And in that I got another 100,000 then also a couple of 100,000 and my God, so why are you depressed? He says this year no one died.

00:44:41--> 00:45:00

We own the time in only worrying about because financial matters unfortunately creates expectation and in expectations, we just get unnecessary type of arguments. Now two things in this particular regard, which is very important. One is a golden rule our Sharia has made mentioned dasheroo kalamkari with a man who can live with one another

00:45:00--> 00:45:33

Either even with strangers as if they are your family members, in terms of kindness in terms of compassion in terms of relationship, in terms of dealing with people even deal with people who are far away from you, people who are not your family members, deal with them as if they are family members, with the AMA Luca Gianni. But as far as material and as far as hisab is concerned, and as far as financial matters is concerned, deal with even your own family members like they are

00:45:34--> 00:45:36


00:45:37--> 00:46:01

He subquery corny, sir Howard Lakhani in terms of making making Sahaba, charity, give 1000s give 100,000 when you come to hisab, make hisab of every cent, even if it be with your own family members, with your own wife, with your own brothers, between father and son, make your every cent two cent hisab

00:46:03--> 00:46:05

read as many times what actually happens in our situation.

00:46:10--> 00:46:48

People are in a business, sometimes brothers are in a business, sometimes the father and the son are in a business. Now when they come into a business, so you find Alright, so you have elderly brothers, three, four elderly brothers, and then the younger brother coming. So he comes into the into the business or, for example, he's a father, and he's the eldest son, and then the youngest son come into the business. When he comes into the business, no one ever this decides, and no one ever talks about what is his position in the business? Is he an employee? Is he a partner? If he is an employee, what is his monthly salary? If his monthly salary has been fixed? Is there any special

00:46:48--> 00:47:24

concession to him? Because of being a family member? Will he get an extra bonus? Because he's a family member? Or would he be treated like the normal employee that is there? What is his status in the business? No one likes to talk about it. So there's drawings taking place all the time, when there is drawings taking place all the time, then actually what happens? Everyone is throwing everyone is throwing there is no, there is no clear cut decision with regard to what is your status in the business? What is the status in your partnership? Are you an employee Are you a, for example, if you are going to be a partner in the business, then you need to invest something. So if for

00:47:24--> 00:48:01

example, a youngest son comes into the business, the father can give him certain amount of money for him to invest, so he becomes a partner. So all of these needs to be determined, but we never ever determine it. And if someone were to bring it up to people and said, let us resolve these issues, we need to resolve these issues, because he's going to create arguments in time to come, then that person who brings up the matter is looked upon as someone who is creating disunity in the family and the family partnership, they say you want to bring the business down, you want to bring unnecessary issues. But all of this is a facade of unity. It's an outward facade of unity, in the sense that you

00:48:01--> 00:48:24

know, everyone is drawing everyone is taking. Now all of a sudden, there's a major expense that needs to be done. There's a wedding in the family, someone has to go for Hajj, there's a medical expense. Now, that's the time when you find when there's a major expense to be done. All of a sudden now all of the tensions that has been building up in the inside, but no one had the guts or the courage to be able to bring it up all of a sudden explodes.

00:48:26--> 00:48:30

And why is it all been because you did not clarify matters from the very beginning.

00:48:31--> 00:48:54

And then a further exacerbating of the whole situation is that now first of all, because everyone was growing, there was no there was no hisab been made. There was no there was no records, there were there was no drawer, there was nothing that was done. Now, if you try to reconcile the situation, now you're bringing everyone together to reach an amicable settlement, it becomes impossible because there was no records kept.

00:48:55--> 00:49:08

Now you're trying to reach a situation and a settlement with regard to something that has been going on for years in a haphazard manner. And now you're trying to reconcile and you try to make hisab aware Can you make yourself when there was no hisab done for 20 years.

00:49:09--> 00:49:30

But you didn't do yourself for 20 years now you're trying to reconcile and trying to bring about a settlement. There is no records. There is nothing in writing. And you find it amazing. Yeah, you HILLARY IN armano era today and today in in Isla de la masa man for all you who believe when you give someone alone, have witnesses to it and write it down.

00:49:31--> 00:50:00

Now, can you imagine just think about this. When Allah tala tells us in the Holy Quran, to write down even an aspect of lending someone money and a loan agreement is supposed to be recorded and has to be written down and there must be witnesses to it. thin, complex business partnerships, how can it be possible to do it without recording? When aligned the Holy Quran the longest ayat in the Holy Quran is to do

00:50:00--> 00:50:30

business, the longest is in the Holy Quran is to do with financial transactions. If Allah tala is telling you to write down even a loan agreement, how much you have given him when he's supposed to give it back to you. And then you can even write down complex business partnerships. What type of situation is in the business? Who is the employee who is a partner, what what amount of partnership, all of that you don't record it, that goes against the very ethics of Islam and the ethics of the Quran

00:50:31--> 00:51:00

said there is one aspect so that this is something that results in many of the financial arguments is because of this. The second thing is just to show you even in our homes, has a move to the close money, rights, an amazing thing about his father's official piece of broccoli. He said, My father had a very big, you know, lounge. And they used to be he ski tabs that were they. And he had a seating place for the man and the visitors that used to come, right.

00:51:01--> 00:51:11

And we were small children. So in that particular place, we used to bring the plates and the glasses that were in the kitchen, and we used to bring it in this room.

00:51:12--> 00:51:47

And afterwards was to bring it for the visitors. And my father used to be very, very strict. The moment the visitors go, take the plates, take the glasses, take whatever came in the kitchen, take it back in the kitchen. So sometimes we used to delay in doing so. And he used to get very angry. So one day we asked our Father What Why are you getting angry about the whole matter is from the kitchen to the lounge. So in the lounge it is tomorrow, we will give it back and we put it back in the kitchen. Say one day our father told us this amazing thing. He said, Oh my son, there is an agreement between me and your mother.

00:51:48--> 00:52:12

And that agreement is whatever is in this particular lounge belongs to me. Whatever belongs in the other part of the house belongs to her. When you bring a plate into this room, take it back into the kitchen because that is hers. I don't want a situation where you bring something of hers into this particular room, and I die. And then people say this is mine, but he's not supposed to remind

00:52:14--> 00:52:24

that was the type of hisab that they kept with regard to things in their own homes. Therefore, there was no arguments and dispute afterwards. They could have clearly made mentioned this is the father's mistake. This is the mother's estate.

00:52:25--> 00:52:47

Obviously sometimes it might be difficult for us to come to reach that level of taqwa What I'm saying is determine things, what belongs to whom, and what is husband and wife are both putting money into the house. No one knows how much the wife has put it. No one know how much the husband has put in all of a sudden there's a problem. Now you want to say I put in so much money in the house but you have kept no hisab

00:52:49--> 00:52:54

This is a recipe for disaster. Because we are not keeping reserve which Allah tala

00:52:55--> 00:53:42

emphasizes upon us tamanu dasheroo, Qatari putana Luca rajani another aspect with regard to it and maybe perhaps we will conclude there are so many other methods that I've made mention of is this partnership. Allah in the Holy Quran says partnership is a very great thing in today's business climate, where you fighting multinationals, our small and medium enterprises SMEs, our small and our businesses as such a great infrastructure for our community, the anchor the community, our massage in our religious organizations have been kept afloat by the charity of our business. But now you are having a situation with a threat. And people say that you know they are foreigners and they are

00:53:42--> 00:53:43

Chinese and they are this and that.

00:53:46--> 00:54:05

We can compete with them, have partnerships to be able to have massive buying power. But the problems with us in our situation. We can't maintain partnerships because we don't have the right intentions. We get into partnership with the intention of doing one another down and align the Holy Quran says when the casita minal coolatta, ilaha

00:54:06--> 00:54:19

illAllah Muhammad Rasul Allah hottie waka lumen home partners, they let one another down, they deceive one another except the one with a man and Amalia salia and they are very few.

00:54:20--> 00:54:41

The one who is the man and Armani salia will never ever let down his partner. Otherwise what is weapon with regard to partnership whenever you get an opportunity, your son comes inside you take 500 then you take 1000 without recording it without making mention of it. That is a deception on the desktop nebia cream sauce comes out if I am a partner in a partnership between Muslims.

00:54:42--> 00:54:59

I am a partner in a partnership between Muslims as long as they are honest and they are trustworthy. The moment they deceive one another. The moment they are dishonest with one another under says I take away my partnership. I take away the Baraka and once the Baraka of Allah tala.

00:55:00--> 00:55:07

Gone, you find people who are partners with such massive type of business interests, and we're doing so well all of a sudden everything goes as close as three.

00:55:09--> 00:55:42

So, these are the type of things and you know, lastly I will say, you know, Allah, Allah has given us such important aspects with regard to reconciling, you know, reconcile people, you know, so these are some of the financial, they are religious, and maybe perhaps, you know, I took some more time with regard to resolving conflict, generally without making mention of the financial disputes in particular. But one of the other aspects is learn to reconcile people maybe a cream sauce, Adam said, in one Hadith, maybe a criminal law when he was 17 said, Allah, I don't wanna show you something that is even more greater.

00:55:43--> 00:55:44


00:55:45--> 00:56:12

alayhi wa simena better in reward than someone who keeps fast the whole day keeps makes the hunter don't like Bella Rasulullah Yahshua definitely tell us now via cream sauce is law that will begin bringing people together reconcile people reconcile people, because disputes and arguments. It is a shave a shaver, it shaves off, Hanukkah, Hanukkah shaves off and I don't say it shaves off your hair.

00:56:14--> 00:56:16

This speech and argument shaves off your entire Deen

00:56:18--> 00:56:57

and what is better than even treating tattooed and keeping fast is to reconcile people we don't like to reconcile people we go and bring it we make more chubby we create more problems that will come to those one incident and this is the last of my this f nebia criminal law it was cillum Abu sufian ebihara Viola and Abu sufian it was a cousin of Nivea cream sauce and maybe a cream sauce lamb grew with him because he was his fear the same the same age and when we occur in South Salem you know address this Prophet would never saw slum proclaim His Prophet opposed to fear and turn against the via cream sauce. Now can you imagine your childhood friend all the time with you all of a sudden he

00:56:57--> 00:57:27

turns against you. So maybe a cream sauce them felted very very greatly. So who soufiane used to compose poetry against the bizarre slum The one who grew up with Debbie salsa who are so close to the VA cream sauce alum one age peers and then Abu sufian afterwards towards the end realized his mistake and he was coming to Medina when the VA cream sauce lamb was trying Abu sufian tarrif came and it was so funny many ahref came and came to ask for forgiveness

00:57:28--> 00:58:07

maybe a cream sauce llama so hurt because of you know words words you know becomes very very difficult to bring back your words. So soufiane said such poetry maybe salsa was extremely positive and so hurt that nebia cream sauce lamb he came and asked permission to meet now let me occur himself said I don't want to meet with you. I don't want to meet with you because of the hurt that may be occurring SummerSlam head and then who Mr. Murthy allow me a letter of cover with no you know, can she came to the vehicle himself cinema. And she knew about this. So she came in Abu sufian Arif perhaps at center also a message and then omnicell McKenna via Karim saucer.

00:58:10--> 00:58:22

Abu sufian is your cousin. He's your own. You're a celeb. You have been forgiving people who are not your own. You are forgiven your own enemies. You

00:58:23--> 00:58:24

forgive him.

00:58:25--> 00:58:49

He's your own. Nivea Creme De La Hoya Allah wa sallam because of these words of encouragement in the way cream sauce them perhaps would have gone also maybe a cream sauce in them forgiving in our situation. Someone who has done was very close to you and he turned against you. He comes for forgiveness most likely our own family members where I said he is like that don't forgive him. You know what did what he did? He did this also which you don't know.

00:58:51--> 00:58:56

Me Allah tala reward Mr Massad jasola you forgive strangers, he's your own forgive him.

00:58:57--> 00:58:57


00:58:58--> 00:59:35

forgive him. He said Abu sufian could not look maybe occurred himself Salaam in the eyes out of shame after that particular time. So we must be the ones firstly obey. Now we come. So these are the few of the things that we have made mention of in terms of avoiding conflict. May Allah Allah give us a trophy? May Allah Allah reward all of those who have been instrumental in making this series a reality? It has been Alhamdulillah four weeks in six programs. May Allah Allah make it a means of goodness already? There are people today while I was coming there were two or three people who send messages in other parts of the country. Where are you going to replicate this in our in our in our

00:59:35--> 00:59:59

situation? Allah tala made this particular community here in our community we are hamdulillah we are staying the means of this particular series. May Allah tala reward the people, all of those He who has been the instrumental, the trustees of both the masajid and all of the people who had been able to bring about the refreshments, all of them whoever has played any role, may Allah subhanho wa Taala elevate the status and other telegrams are the best of the ones

01:00:06--> 01:00:07


01:00:19--> 01:00:46

there's some someone has brought it to my attention and I just think it will be important during the incident of sacredness arbitrarily allowed or no, I made mention of the leader of the monarchy was Abdullah bin obey. I perhaps had perhaps said it by mistake obey bellicum wave niqab is a clue. He's a savvy of nebbia cream sauce. So if I had made a mistake with regard to relating it to wave nicop it was not the right stuff. It was a good lab in wages akula for bringing to the attention