Channel: Ebrahim Bham
Allah Azza wa Salatu was Salam O Allah has
given more serene, Allah Allah He was heavy was seldom at the Sleeman kathira theorem. A mavado favela Humana, shaytani, r rajim Bismillahi Rahmani Raheem
Latina mano ku Sakuma Li coonara setup Allahu la Zim.
My dear respected elders and brothers,
we are on the eve of Ramadan.
And perhaps it would have been worth it that we speak about aspects pertaining to Ramadan. However, I'm sure and I'm confident that the honor Maja would be addressing issues with regard to the importance of Ramadan,
one aspect that I have been passionate about that I would like to share with you in today's footbaww. And that is the aspect of our youth. We are all aware of the importance of the youth in any society, in any community. The youth are the future leaders of society, what society is going to become
depends upon the quality of the youth that we have today, because they are going to turn out to be the leaders of the society. That is why it is so important for us to take care of with regard to our youth.
Added to that we also have the situation that what is happening to our youth, and are talking of specific instances, but I'm talking generally is cause of great concern. We know that many times the youth are given towards the temptation and the glamorous life that seems to be out there without worrying about the consequences, many of the youth cave into the temptations that are out there. And because of that, we find that sometimes they get involved in things that are not correct from a Islamic perspective. Sometimes they get involved in taking of drugs, which has become so widespread in different parts of the Muslim community and society, almost everywhere.
Previously, it used to be a specific type of drugs, whether it be hero in mendax, now it takes on a new dimension. So you have kit and you had tic, and you gave now P and all of these different types of situations. Now this is of great concern that if the future leaders of our society are going to get caught up in these type of temptations, then what will happen to the society in future. And this is everyone's responsibility, everyone's concern. Therefore, very briefly, in the time that we have available, we don't have a long period of time, but just I would like to highlight certain very important aspects for us to understand ns solutions. The first point is, you first need to
understand before you are understood, you first need to understand the problem before you understood this thing. First seek to understand before you understood, was made famous by Steven COVID in his book, but it's a very fair principle. If you do not understand the genesis of the problem, how would you be able to make a difference in terms of the solution? What are young people going through today? They are facing temptations that perhaps people who are like us, you know middle age, can never even dream of and can never even imagine. Today evil for young people who just round the corner, it is sometimes at the press of a button. Now, we cannot understand that. Now, the way
someone has said, you know we who are like maybe perhaps 4050 years of age, we are very obedient generation. When we were small, we listen to our parents. Now when we are middle aged, we listen to our children we very obedient. So what is the situation with regard to technology has become so widespread, that we cannot imagine one day cannot imagine a life without technology. And as much as we say that technology is harmful. We must they must stay away from it. The fact of the matter It has become ingrained. You know it is such an ingrained thing that they cannot imagine an existence without it. No There was
Recently a stats that if Facebook were a country would have been the largest population in the world. Now, they are living through such temptation through such a glut of information, then also the evil that many times we regard as evil in our middle old age, all that has become glamorous in the society and in the environment that they are living in, it's not regarded to be an evil is regarded to be glamour, if you are not taking part in it, then you are looked upon as a boho, you are looked upon as someone who is behind. So, in that peer pressure within them, the evil that you and I are worried about, actually seems very glamorous, within their own circle of friends, to rebel
against norms is something that is looked upon to be cool amongst youngsters. So we have all of that if you don't understand these aspects, then you are not going to be unable to understand the solution. So first, the first aspect I would say that we need to be kind compassion with regard to the challenges that they are facing, which we never ever face challenges, even if we do say that we were young also once upon a time, we also faced temptations, we also had these type of situations that they were glamorous, but never to the extent that the young people today are facing technology has become so ingrained and normally make a joke that one day our youngsters nowadays will one day
phone, the local pizza place and they will say then we are giving an order for a pizza send a piece of attachment. Maybe there also will come to a situation with regard to how technology is moving. Now what do we do? First thing is understand the as part of understanding the power of peer pressure. Peer pressure is a very tremendous amount of pressure that comes upon young people. And I always say that peer pressure is not only amongst young people. It is even amongst the very mature and elderly and age. The very famous example of Abu Talib, the uncle of Libya, Creme De La Hoya Allah wa sallam. He was not a young person. He was an elderly mature adult who helped Libya Kareem
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam to protect nobody saw Salah because he was the uncle of Nivea cream sauce. He prevented the enemies to attack me via cream sauce on his deathbed nebia cream sauce Some said oh my uncle say one time Kelly my in my ear. I will intercede for you on the day of chiamata theoretically mine My year. But I will gel was there Abu Jamal said Abu Talib for the fear of your nephews jahannam are you gonna leave the religion of your forefathers for the fear of your nephews? janam Are you gonna leave the religion of your forefathers Abu Talib as mature as he was caved in towards what Abu Jamal was saying it was peer pressure that made him do such a thing. So peer
pressure is a tremendous force. And therefore when our young people are faced with peer pressure, when they are made to feel uncomfortable, when to be good. You know, I remember once upon a time, I'm you know, a board member of a Muslim school. So we used to give and we give a presentation to the best behaved student of the school. It came as a surprise to us as board members, when we came to realize that the students didn't want to get that particular award in price. Because if they got the price they were to tell you sir, Oh, you are pro establishment you are very good, you are goody goody, you know, so they didn't want to get that particular price, because it would make them seem
in a particular way amongst their friends. So this is a very important point for us to understand. Yet at the same time, our the friends are so important that your friends shape and define you maybe a cream sauce, the man said Alma Juana de la forlenza. How to combine when a person is on the religion of his friends select each and every one see who he befriends. Because according to your friends, you will be recognized. You're
people's perception about you would be dependent upon with which crowd you go with. So firstly, understand the power of peer pressure, try and lead our children towards friends that are positive and constructive rather than destructive. Now, another aspect with regard to it many times you and I as parents, I'm also the parent of a teenage child, someone who is and I've had situations and experiences, which has taught me one or two lessons, I don't say I'm a perfect parent Far from it. Right? But how do we deal with regard to the proper parenting to use? It's very different from a child who is small, who is innocent, who is cute, who you can hug, and you can maybe perhaps shout
he will listen to you. Now when a child is in his youth
It's a whole different, you can use the same methods that were using when a child and a young when a youngster was when he was service 567. Now you got to use a completely different style of parenting. Olivia Louboutin, who has made mentioned with regard to it, when he had made mentioned with his very beautiful says, he said, when he made mentioned he said, la evohome
play with your children for seven years, the first seven years play with your children. Then you said at the movie, somebody, discipline them for the next 14, seven years. So between the age of seven and 14, he allowed to self discipline your child, there the values need to be taught. And then he said, After that suddenly loom disappearing, after the age of 14, befriend your child Subhan Allah, Allah, Allah know what remarkable guidance with regard to parents, play with your children for seven years, discipline them for the next seven years, befriend them after the next seven years Subhan Allah. So there are different styles of parenting, one style of parenting is lasers fail, let
them do whatever I want. I don't care. That's a wrong style of parenting. You know, because Allah, Allah has given us a responsibility, which I will make mention of towards the end of the talk. So that particular type of parenting, no, let them do whatever they want is not for a Muslim parent is not the right way. The second type of parenting is where you become authoritarian and harsh. You do what I say, I am not prepared to listen to you, no matter what you say, I don't care, you just do whatever I say, with due respect that might work previously today doesn't work. It doesn't work and is not the ideal method with regard to parenting. Because when children become of age, they also
need to be heard, they like to be heard. And if you carry on with them like that, you treat them like children. Many times what happens is they go underground, and they will do things behind your back. And someone has very beautifully said, punishment, suppresses behavior, discipline changes behavior, we don't punish our children, we discipline them. Punishment, suppresses behavior, when you become authoritarian and harsh, they suppress the behavior. And that is not what we want. Discipline changes behavior, we want discipline we want on punishment. So that particular aspect is also not the right particular way with regard to it. Another style of parenting, which I'm going to
perhaps suggest is where you know, previously, when a child was three, four or five years, you could be a major general who could have shout commands, and they would have listened. Now a time will come when the children are 1314 1516. Now you need to be a skilled negotiator, you have to negotiate boundaries, you have to negotiate, okay, you want to do this, our allow you to spend this much. And perhaps the way to go about it is this, you set limits, and you give your children freedom within those limits. Maybe many people who have studied in this, they say this is perhaps in today's time, one of the better ways of parenting is you set limits, and within that limits, you give your
children freedom. So what happens is, it gives you two things. One, it gives children a voice, that within that limit, they are free. So they don't regard themselves to be children, they repeat, they behave like mature adults, because you have given them a scope of their own choice. And on the other hand, you don't leave them to do whatever you want, because it is frightening for a young person to think that he can do whatever you want, because that could lead to disastrous consequences. So perhaps the way is, you set limits and within those particular limits, you give your children freedom to do something within those limits. You know, that is perhaps the way to do in today's time
with regard to parenting amongst the styles of parenting which are in prevalent in today's time. Otherwise, you know, people say humorously today, the father provides, the wife decides the children override
the father provides the father wife decides and the children override that is what we are flexible. Then the second thing which is very important is brothers is to give time to our children give quality time to your children during the course of work. Now some some months back, I spoke on drugs. And while speaking on drugs, I went to ask certain counselors with regard to give me some tips that I could aid in my Juma prayer and with regard to it, you know, and we're not gonna protect each and every one this is no, no ordinary sports, people who are going through it, it's, it's our responsibility brothers. If your child is not addicted, or is not afflicted, don't feel happy with
regard to it. Every child of the Muslim Ummah, who is addicted to drugs, and his parents are going through difficulty it's our responsibility is our child. It's not easy. I remember while doing this research, one one parent only says it was raining. It was a thunderstorm because of one of my children peed upon drugs. I was tempted to take them into the car and drive them over the bridge.
kill myself and kill my children.
During the course of this one, one particular counselor told me an amazing thing. He said, I, my child was going into a wrong company. So I took him to a counselor. So the child opened up to the counselor. And you know what he said? The child said, my friends make me feel special. My friends make me feel special. To the counselor, as a child, who do you want must make you feel special. You say, I want my parents to make me feel special.
I want my parents to make me feel special. But if the parents are not going to make the child feel special, then it gets
valediction from someone else it gets. So if the fans are gonna make the field, the title is special, the youth feel special, why does he come to the parents make your child feel special. I'm not saying that when you make him feel special, that you will not discipline you have to discipline him to be a good parent doesn't mean that you must be an appeaser, you must give in to every aspect of your child that will make you a bad parent. But you have to make your child feel special. And in this particular regard, I would like to say that we must have such a relationship. Remember the statement of which I've made mentioned, if your child even if he has to do something wrong, if he
has to have any type of situation, any type of dilemma, the parent and the father must be the first port of call for the child. That's the type of relationship as a parent of a youth that you must be striving towards. That the first port of call for any dilemma of your young person, any time of your youth should be the father must be the first port of call. Do we have that type of relationship if we don't then strive for the type of relationship. And it's not something against the Sharia, you will find even in the Quran with regard to the bribery salatu salam has spoken to his son Yamuna year in Iraq. Oh, my son, I've seen the dream that I'm slaughtering you, you tell me your opinion.
So we must have that type of relationship that our young child and our young son and our young daughter, the first port of call for them in any dilemma should be the parents. So that is a type of parenting that we should be keeping in mind. Give your children time and make them feel special. Another very important aspect is we can must occupy the time of our children brothers. We cannot leave our children idle because an idle mind is the devil's workshop. And one aspect that I would like to make mention of very important prayer is give your children some aspect of spiritual fulfillment. And letter in the Holy Quran says under the inner harmony.
Those who have believers they find contentment in the remembrance of Allah. Allah, look at the words of the Quran. Allah means be aware. I'm not gonna say I'm telling you something very important. Allah Allah. Allah Kuru, in the remembrance of Allah, what hearts find contentment. Do you know what does it mean? That was out the seeker of Allah tala, you will not find contentment. Now, if your children are only going to be contented with material things, they will always be bored. No matter how much material things you give them, they must be some sense of spirituality that you give to your children. Otherwise, they're going to lead an existence that will they will never find
contentment, they will never be happy. So no matter how much material things you buy for them, you will find at the end of the day, I'm not saying you mustn't give them but if you only go to make that that criteria for the satisfaction, it will never satisfied them in the remembrance of Allah, give them some solid zeker put them in touch with some Allah Ma and of course make them you know, active, and I've seen it in the in this particular community, I believe that they are taking the youngsters out for some recreational activities support that type of activities. I'm not saying that is the only thing but Allah, Allah give them some form of spiritual fulfillment. That is the fourth
thing that I've made mentioned. The fourth thing that I would like to say, we as parents and every parent must be a perfect role model. Allah in the Quran says a maraca Salah was severely hurt. Oh, you who believe command your family members to perform Salah. And then what was the paralia you also be steadfast supported. Don't tell you, your family members to perform certainly don't perform Sarah, you must be a perfect role model for your children. If you are not a perfect role model and then you expect your children to become foresters How is going to happen. So leave your life to be a perfect role model for your children will lie Lie most of the time, children would like to see the
parents to be the role model. They don't want to see any other role model. So be the perfect role model. And the last thing I would like to make mention Time is running out worrying about the spiritual fulfillment and the spiritual
consequences of our children align the Holy Quran is Taurus for believers save yourself and your family members from the fire of Jana. Do you know Do you realize what this means? Oh you hopefully save your
Self, save your family members from the fire of jahannam. Let me give an example of this particular ayat. And then I will conclude. Just imagine that Allah forbid it ever happens to anyone. One day you driving home from your work and you're coming home, and you realize that the smoke that is in your neighborhood, and you feel that there is a fire in my neighborhood. At first you don't think it is your home, then when you come close to me see realize that this actually could be my home because it is so close to where I'm staying. And when you come here, you feel now start worrying. And then you realize that no, my my house is on fire. Now you start worrying about the safety of your wife
and your children. And you come there's a cordon. The police don't allow you said I'm the owner this Okay, now you go you run towards the house. You see you have three children, you see your wife and your two children are safe. And the side of the road another third? And you say what happened to my third child? What happened to my third child? And then you see your third child aljada Bella waving to you from one of the windows of the houses. Oh, my father says me. What will you do with a time? What will you and I do I know I will sacrifice my life to go and save my child. Everyone will do that. Now do you realize that particular type of example. What will you do at such a time? ally is
telling us in this ayah Oh believers, save your family members from a fire wisdom that saved them from the fire of Jana. How you do it we don't know. But find ways and means of bringing them to the path where they will not take the path and tread the path towards evil which will lead to one that is what I started off. Yeah, you will Latina hamanako amphu sakumo believers, save yourself. Save your family members. Save your children. It's our responsibility from the fire of Jana. May Allah Allah give us a topic of understanding, maybe a cream sauce limited three peoples do as Allah does not reject. Three peoples do not reject one of their visa parents do I in favor of children and the
rest was rejected particularly. So let us make dua for our children. It has the act of parents don't be parenting isn't for cowards, the act of parents. These are some of the tips that I've made mentioned with regard to in trying to help our youth through a such a critical phase may also make dua to Allah protect our children, protect our youth, protect our own youth and protect our families, youth protect the community's youth from all types of trial and temptation and make them such great Muslims that they will become the true future bearer. There is in the leaders of our society that we will take pride in them and they will inshallah fulfill the rights of Allah subhanho
wa Taala the rights of human being and they will be true believers who Afro Davina and umbrella