Funerals – Mourning – Condolonces
Channel: Mohamad Baajour
Series: Mohamad Baajour - Funerals
File Size: 22.95MB
except for the husband, except for the husband, the woman is only allowed to have a dad for
Three days, even if it was a son, even if it was a father, even if it was any one brother.
The One Only the husband is different everybody else three days and she is she is done. What's the deal? Zainab bint Abi Solana reported that she heard OMO Habiba are the Allah on how Allah said that she heard us almost I said and say hello Limra team took me Nabila. He won yo me and hit me Ethan Thoko. Salas Illa others OGE Aruba ashore, WA Ashura.
It is not permissible for a woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day to mourn over a dead person more than three days except for her husband, which she mourns. How long?
Four months and
10 days, four months and 10 days and this hadith is is in Bukhari.
Abdullah Abdullah Jaffa reported that resource SLM alone allowed the family of Jaffa for three days then he came to them and said tabco Allah Aki Baddeley, young tabco aki Barden young Do not weep over my brother after today. So
this hadith indicates that we don't should mourn over her husband the full term of the ADA, they said of divorce and they said the of
death right. This is that of death which is four months and 10 days.
It is confirmed also in the Quran. And there's no difference of opinion amongst all our Imam, Imam Abu Hanifa, Himalayan and Chef him and Malika Muhammad have agreed on this number. Nobody has any difference of opinion on the amount of edit which was the woman supposed to spend when her husband died, some of the wisdom behind the head some of them we all know that there has to be wisdom, even if we know it or not, since Allah subhanaw taala prescribed it. But some of the wisdom behind that is Allah allowing the woman some of the time to express her sadness over the loss of her mate and companion, showing regard toward the deceased parents and relatives, and asserting the absence of
pregnancy and making sure that she is not pregnant that time is more subtle, more than sufficient to confirm that she is not pregnant.
Morning, less than three days it is recommended for a married woman to refrain from mourning, if that is required for teasing her husband, sister, that her husband, her brother passed away or or father or anyone that has to be other than her husband, then she it is recommended. She's allowed to
mourn for three days. But it's recommended if that was requested from her husband to mourn this, less than less than that.
A great good may result from this, as in the case of almost live and long hadith of almost rain. We all know her, her son died and her husband came and she did not tell him and she had a relationship with him. And then when we when they finished then she informed them about that his son died. Very, very famous Hadith. And then from that night blessing family came and rustlers SLM, but the technique for the baby who was born and he said, on guru era have been unsolved the terminal. He said, Look how much downside I love the dates. It's a very long Hadith about almost rhyme and a great Amman even though her son was dying or dead in the other room, and she where she kept her
husband, uninformed in order to please Him and the impact of the calamity to be to be this. Now, all this is
about the woman. Okay, now, very common question. When a sister her husband died, we get this question a lot. Is she permitted to leave the house she is not permitted to leave the house except in dire need. If she is the only for example, a woman died and she left a family a man died and he left a family and it turned out after his death that this woman is the only source of income for the family. In that case she is permitted to leave
Okay, in that case, she is permitted to leave since he's the only source of provision for for the family. But if there is no need for the widow to leave the house, then she cannot leave the house for that whole period of four months and, and 10 days, okay, except if it's a dire need, she has to go to work, she has to go to school, she has to go. It's an emergency that actually without it, there would be harm. Okay, but just to go out to shop around for no reason that something someone else could do that for her, then that's not permitted. Only in a dire need and
as a person feeling Allah subhanaw taala we know what is valora and what's not. Okay, we could fool ourselves. We could fool many people, but we cannot fool Allah subhanahu Bucha now,
is there a morning for man? No, there's no morning. There's no heat for a man. And if a man his wife passed away, we do not say Oh, his morning leave him for 10 days or 20 days or four months. No. The morning. The reports in the Sunnah point that morning is not it is not enhanced practice. We never heard that was so lost, I sell them. He lost his wife. Nothing happened. He lost three daughters. When he was alive. Nothing happened. He lost his uncle Hanza he lost Jaffa he lost all these people. He lost the Brahim. And we don't know we know we never heard that. As soon as I Selim made Hey dad, he did something he stopped doing something you understand. So for a man, there's nothing called
Hidden, the hidden is strictly for a woman or husband for months and 10 days. Everybody else is three, three days.
Then the shift said here, therefore morning, except for Roman, as explained is a sinful innovation that should be avoided, it becomes worse if it is associated with other sins, or acts of imitations of the disbelievers. Then the next thing when people are grieving because remember, the title is grieving and mourning. Some people while the grieving they well. They do the wailing, and we said even though it is permissible to grieve for the departure of a beloved one, if the grief exceeds, if the grief exceeds the limits and becomes a form of objection, to Allah's decree, it becomes totally prohibited and may cause suffering for the disease in his grave. Like we mentioned last last week,
whaling is an act of Jehovah or Salah salem said, or Barfi Amati myalgia Helia. And he mentioned one of them is waiting, waiting. We all know what waiting is screaming very loud. When someone died, ripping the clothes, ripping the hair, all that stuff is part of the wailing but mainly mainly the wailing is the screaming and with kind of objection about the decree of Allah subhanho wa Taala
Rasulillah Salam said, If nuttin listen to this very, very any severe warning, if not and fineness Houma be him kufr upon Vanessa, when he made two of the people's practices are an act of disbelief, an act of Cofer, this honoring kinship ties and wailing over over the dead, or Salah Salem did not allow wailing even over his own son, Abu Huraira reported when Ibrahim died, Osama bin Zayed scream or source SLM intervene, saying Mesa had them in me when he said he saw in Huck, I'll call.
Wala yo, Gabor, Rob. Your Babu. Rob, this is not of My Teachings. A screamer has no right to do that. The heart gets sad. The eye sheds tears, but the Lord may not be angered, may not be angered.
And then we mentioned that if the person of the person on handles was sia said When I die, weigh in on me that he will be punished in his grave for that wailing if he said that in in his in his rasiya manual manuka honey you as the beer woman piano, the money honey, the one who's wailed over will be punished on the day of resurrection because of that training. And we said if he is the one who asked for that.
Now we come also under that heading, announcing announcing death, Danny, which is not a big it's called H
nine nine. Nein, nein, nein. To do announcement of death, announcement of death. There's nothing wrong with it. If you announce to the community that song
So have passed away. There's nothing wrong with it. But there is some the prohibited one. We don't know if you've seen it in your countries, I don't know if it happens, but we've seen it in, in our countries and the street with a microphone and some sometimes they have drums with it and they start yelling, is that happen? Doesn't happen in Pakistan and it happens a lot. At least in Lebanon and Syria and Philistine, they they go around and they start announcing the with the microphone and all that, that is not allowed. paying money to announce that is not allowed, which is you put an ad in the paper that someone died is not permitted also night, he just announced here to the public, to
the people that someone died in order to come for the janazah in order to help with the hustle, Allahu Akbar, this is permitted and there's nothing wrong with it.
The shift took a very to many
Hadith about the night. And then he started saying he started mentioning some
habits that people do when someone dies, that they have nothing to do with Islam or with our sunnah at all completely. One of those old morning practices that Islam prohibited is shaving the head. Some people in the area they used to when someone dies, he shaved his head completely right and we have seen it. The other one we've seen here is going to be someone who has no beard. If someone's clean shave, he grows the beard because of the depth. And when you ask him what's wrong why you since when you grow up is mashallah beautiful Chava you're doing this and he tells you that Habibi, my cousin died.
Allah so your for your cousin, you grow the beard for a similar size. You don't do that. So this is another practice that is not from the Sunnah. Another thing from the Sunnah from not from the Sunnah is we have seen in your countries but also very common in the Arab world is wearing black. Right? Wearing black is that something we do also? Okay, this is not from the Islam has nothing to do with the Sunnah of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam at all. And we've seen it till this day. Till this day we see a lot of people wearing black strictly black and he makes sure any he if his father died today, your lover right where are you going to Macy's while you're going to Macy's online, you got a
black jacket and black pants and black. I don't have that hold on. Let me give that money so back on your behalf of your father. It's better. There's nothing in the Sunnah of wearing completely black or some money. Some people who make it a journey if they don't wear black and it's an insult. If you walk into the desert, if you walk into the place of Aza to offer your condolences and you're wearing like white or different colors, they consider it as an insult Pamela Brown, I mean, I noticed here in the States hamdulillah sometimes the family of the of the disease they do that. And we should warn them maybe a week after also not at the same time. But I noticed that the people who come and
offer the condolences hamdulillah they're wearing normal clothes, they are not doing that black. But overseas, even if you are just coming to offer your condolences, you have to wear black. And if you don't, you're looked at in a very weird, very weird manner.
Now we come to I will finish with this in sha Allah, the official condolences okay, this is still under the same title of grieving and mourning. First, the Chefman sent mentioned the virtue. We do not know how many people know the virtue of offering condolences to your brother whom his son his father, his wife passed away anybody knows. But as the reward of offering condolences.
Chef Masindi offer condolences all the time
No, this is the term what's the reward?
men men masiva Kassa Hola. Hello Latin kodra berubah yo Malkia Hola. Hola, como. Whoever consoles his brother, of course sister also an affliction that befell him, Allah will clothe him with a green suit, with which he will be delighted on the Day of Resurrection. Subhanallah this hadith sahih whosoever offer the condolences to his brother or sister in the time, that the calamity hit Allah subhanaw taala will offer him was something maybe somebody will say no, but other like green suit, trust me. You would love it. It's chosen by Allah subhanaw taala it's something amazing beyond your imagination. So this is one of the rewards that officially authentic has
Leave about the reward of
offering condolences to your brother or your sister. This is condolences is a show of kindness and concern and shows that you care about your brother and you are, you know, feeling with them what they're going through Subhanallah it shows it strengthened the Brotherhood and the sisterhood between the sisters. What do we say? What do we say? Official what is the authentic form of?
Or what do we say when we see someone who lost somebody?
when he Allah He now alpha
kulesza in in the who the agilan was some phantasmic was the same. You know, this is the official authentic dua of offering condolences to a Muslim. Let him I will let him I thought were cooler che in in the hood he actually Musa I'll persevere well Titus in beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. If you think about the meaning what does it mean? To Allah belongs what he took, right? That some of yours that son of mine, that wife that father, Allah gave him to me.
Right? Allah gave him to me, I'm gonna give him to you. Allah to Allah belongs what he took, and to Him belongs what he gave, he gave him to me and he took him back. And everything is recorded with Allah for an appointed term. We all know that if I know all these things, we all know these things. But if we believe truly believe on these things, then the impact of the calamity will become less. Allah gave me
this let's assume Dora
and Allah subhanaw taala to him, everything has assigned time.
And then Allah subhanaw taala the Hakeem the ally and the Hubby, or hammer Rahimi decided to take that nerim That gift he gave me at the time that he knows it's best. Can you imagine we all think like this chama remind me of something like this happened to me. And I will remind you in sha Allah Tala that Lahemaa
Aqua couldn't shake agilan Musa kritischen endo the agile team awesome. Everything with Allah has appointed time. No one is going to last forever. This one's gonna leave at 19 This one's gonna leave at 34 This is 36 this is 59 This is 96 A brother was telling me today my my my uncle is 99 years old and he still pray Maghrib and Isha and the masjid
and he still understands and comprehend Subhanallah at 99 years old Subhan Allah.
So and the rest of the DUA. So
let's be patient, be patient. Be patient while the same. We said last time right? The sub expect hope for the Azure from Allah subhanaw taala some people like we said last week they have the suburb because they have no choice. But no I have the server and I have that he said I'm being patient or patient and I'm hoping that Allah will reward me for that patience. Okay
Okay, making food for the deceased family making food for the deceased family, it is recommended for the relatives
for the relatives and neighbors Close Brothers close sisters to make food for the diseased the family for the family of the deceased. Okay.
Enough food to suffice them during the peak of their distress. As soon as I select them famous hadith is now the ad is out for retirement for
cook for Jaffa his family because the matter has occurred diverting them from their normal life. Now there's a something that happens a lot that the family of the deceased is the one who's making the food. It's not really strong. Yeah one this is wrong.
They are so busy. And they are grieved with with with the loss of their dear one and you want to overburden them with providing food for hundreds of people. No, we know that this family Subhanallah I remember one family in New York when they lost their.
When they lost their and forgot someone in the family. They came home they found parts of food at the door without mentioning who it is. So Pamela was so beautiful that the brothers of the masjid or the system of the masjid they gathered and they
provided the food to the family and when they came, they're not going to be busy sometimes the family have little kids right? They have
some members that do not understand what happened. They still gonna need to eat and you know, so providing that for them will help a lot and show a beautiful act of of kindness and and love
okay I'll finish the chapter because it's finished. One more thing is Chef Manson mentioned, if someone says father died of someone
mother died. It is a sunnah to rub your hand over their head.
rubbing your hand over an orphans head. Very rewarding. A good act of consolation towards a diseased orphan is to supplicate for them and rub over their heads. Abdullah Jaffa reported that when he was a little boy playing with her other with other boys. So as I said in past, writing an animal he pointed to him and commanded waterfowl has really raised this boy to me. He set him in front of him. Then he point he pointed to
to you. Then he commanded to fall, Hadley again, raised his voice to me, he said him behind him. He knew that his Uncle Al Abbas loved his other son, so obey the law and his other son obey the law more than this son, but that did not prevent him from holding the sun instead. Then he stroke Abdullah's head three times, every time saying Allahumma Zafran fee whether they or Allah take care of Jaffa as children after him. So this son was Jefferson. After he died as soon as I saw him, put him on his camera, and he put his hand on his head. So when we say when we see someone who lost his father, we do that in sha Allah Tada and that is very rewarding.
okay, we have a practice here in the United States that when someone died, we go somewhere. For example, we go to Mass and we offer condolences, okay. Now, the automat permitted it here, because, you know, many people will find out later, and they will offer the condolences to the person so they assign one day you go from this hour to this hour and you offer your condolences to the family. But in general, in general, or in our countries. The tsunami is at the graveyard. You finish the graveyard you buried the person
I said Allah azza wa jal Martha done. You see him in the masjid you give him condolences. You see him in the market, you give him condolences. This is the right way. Now what we are doing right now. It is permitted because of the situation that we are in. But this is the son that no it doesn't. It's not the sunnah to gather for condolences, okay? So the sooner is whenever you see that person who was grieved given condolences, especially in the graveyard, that is more than sufficient. Okay? gathering here, just because people are at work, they found out later they found the one day after, and they want to do that they just sign one day after and they all go together. But if that's not
how it did not happen, and someone would like to do that and he goes to the person's house. Also there's nothing there's nothing wrong with it and sha Allah Allah and this will end this chapter.
In the chapter the chef at the end of the chattery always mentioned the Buddha the innovations that take place in that specific
specific topic. We will discuss that next week in sha Allah and the beautiful topic we will start next week which will be my last talk before we go to Hajj inshallah. So I just found out today that I thought my flight was Monday that my flight is Tuesday. So we will have one more halacha Inshallah, Monday night next week, and the topic is beautiful signs. What are the signs of a good end? And what are the signs of an evil and may Allah subhanaw taala Yeah, Allah asked you the best of your names whoever attended tonight make his and a great and inshallah alumnus and Anahata Zachman. Lucky Subhanak llama vandyk I should have let you know the stuff on a toolbar.