Empathy For The Bereaved
Channel: Ebrahim Bham
File Size: 21.27MB
Episode Transcript ©
Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate and at times crude. We are considering building a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system. No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever.
Alhamdulillah wa salatu wa salam O Allah May Allah be
a model for the villa Humana shaytani r rajim Bismillah al Rahman al Rahim.
Welcome Mina Minato Babu Malia Obama said a colloquialism. My dear respected elders and brothers.
Last week you would recall,
we spoke about trials and tribulations. We spoke about difficulty, the underlying reason and wisdom.
Why Allah subhanho wa Taala brings about difficulty and trials and tribulation upon humankind and individuals.
Today, I would like to give some guidance with regard to what we would call tacit, how do you show empathy? How do you give give consideration to those people who are grieved? Those people who are brokenhearted, those who are afflicted those who are in difficulty? What are the methods in our Sharia, to give them clear tidings to give them some sort of hope and reassurance and our Sharia is such that it has given us
guidelines in every aspect of our life, and even in this aspect of our life by following the instructions of how to give empathy to those who are brokenhearted, it will inshallah lessen the grief and the sorrow of the bereaved people. And it will be a means of reward for the person who is giving them
the reassurance and the empathy and the sympathy,
which they have after
a muscular man to pay hickmott A pion kitty or arch hammer cansada lococo de la serda Nicobar Emma back karenga and what do we call it? We call it as yet, who's calm Tasha? Tasha comet love, joy inside San kisi the cliff mihome who said the Selena who's Carmack musk Mark said yeah, okay, today we're delicata quiere. Kanchana or encore meet Ilana. Now the first thing that this giving people constant consolation, comfort, who are suffering grief and difficulty towards the intention of removing the difficulty. The aim is to strengthen the brokenhearted and give them hope at a time when they are feeling down and they have difficulty. The first thing is to regard What a great
reward it is. We don't really realize what a great reward it is. nebia Kareem sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he said
a person who consoles one who is in grief. Allah will make him wear the clothes of honor on the day of chiamata and now we'll make him wear the clothes of honor on the day of Ramadan.
Una we only look at it as you know, we have to do it. To see someone of ours. someone passes away we have to go sit in the house. We just looked at it as a social construct as something we have to do socially. What a great reward Nivea cream sauce from said whoever consoles a person who is in difficulty. Allah was dressing with clothes of honor on the day of Tiamat Nivea cream sauce limited whoever consoles a period mother. Allah will dress dress him with a special garment on the day of chiamata. One honey cream sauce Adam says, whenever you go and give to Sally, you give consolation to a person who is in grief. And a person who is believed you can give him glad tidings, then maybe
the cream sauce Sallam said you will get the same reward that he gets. Now when a person goes through difficulty is great rewards for him. Maybe occurrance awesome seven a person. Allah tala takes someone who is near and dear from a person. There is no reward other than gender for such a person. In one Hadith, via Karim sauce, Islam says a person who dies away in a in a pandemic. Allah gives him the reward of a Shaheed. Now when you give comfort and consolation to a person who is in difficulty, you get the same reward. Can you imagine what a great reward it is? But you know, we we do
don't realize what a great reward it is. We only do it to the extent that we have to do it or because we have to do it because it's a social responsibility.
He bought us him Sunita locata Selena or Tasha karna nebia krimson Allahu alayhi wa sallam, as it was Ravi Allahu Taranaki petechiae catholica. Does he add keto?
nebia Karim sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Carmen Jo kisi muscle man for the selected who said kiama Katyn Allah tala is at Calabasas Penang.
Allah tala is at Calabasas and Hank a session scope. Now, there are certain things that we have to keep in mind with regard to given consolation. How do we show this empathy, there are certain things we have to keep in mind. And there are certain things we have to stay away from what are the words that we can use with regard to given consideration? What is a method that we have to do in giving people consideration? One important point is that we have to make it easy for the people don't add more difficulty to the person. Don't tell the person something that he feels, the loss even greater. You are supposed to make him feel, give him some form of reassurance, give him some form of
consolation amongst the thing is encourage patience and give the person the reward of patience. Maybe a cream sauce for a spear while the SAFE Act of patience Allah will give you great reward. So one of the aspects is when you can tell the person you can see a person you give him the encouragement with regard to patient. Another aspect is that you make to have for the person who is going through the difficulty that Allah tala grant a reward for the difficulty they are going through. would miss almara the Allahu talana Anna lost her husband Abu Salma, she said when I lost my husband Abu Salma I was feeling very very hurt because Abu Salah was such a great husband. So in
the near term Salah walima Salim came to me and he said, Oh Miss Alma, recite this dua Allah will make it easy for you.
Allahu La Jolla Navy mercy but he was roughly higher up in our land he warned me for the difficulty I'm going through and grant me something better
Miss Alma used to say I used to make this two hour because nobody says to them told me to make this but I then used to think that y'all know who's going to get me a better husband in Abu Salah he was such a great husband but I read the two hour because nobody told me read the two hour allow module if he was if it was roughly hate Amina Allah reward me for the difficulty I'm going through and grant me something better. I didn't realize the purport of this dua until now via Karim saucer proposed for me.
And instead of Abu Salah Nevis, Jocelyn became my husband.
So this is we tell the people to make dua, we tell them Allah will reward you for the difficulty that you are going to is not easy, but maybe by telling them It might help them in some way. You know, what amazing thing is,
that mentioned the positive aspects of tribulation, for both the period for the person who is going through the difficulty and the diseased
up to life nabasa the ultra who says, What an amazing thing. He said when my father passed passed away, when my father passed away, Hamilton who passed away, he said one to one villager came and he said one poem, and this poem gave me the greatest reassurance. And what was in that poem? He told me, and he said, better for you than a pass is the reward you will receive
and better for passed in you is the place Allah has kept for him in general. Just look at that. He says better, better than a pass for you is the reward Allah will give you for making supper upon the passing away of your father. And better for a past Can you is that what Allah has kept for him? He says that gave me such reassurance.
One of the two hours that we are supposed to read at a time when someone passes away is alone Bobtail who Darren Hiram in dari
I will not give the person who has passed away a better abode that the vote that he has left behind and give him a family better than their families.
He has left behind
what type of family and I will give him a nose instead of the wife and I will give him more. So Allah knows best what Allah will give him. So these are some of the things that we are supposed to keep in mind in terms of giving people the cell he
does your kitchen and foster mother miss a tune
up to Anna loco suburban, Connecticut Kim Canseco. Marie home Kayla Kayla
on Casa La Milner kuryakyn de la, mer home Kellyanne
Co. co co co co
host I have some anxiety particularly HIPAA personality allow Toronto formata head kinky wallet Abbas levy Allahu Tanaka for chemo taper it but to name one call subsys Yaga personally as rk pseudorapidity or almost a first year hit a basket here apsis Jada
abass Kalia apsense Jada Allah tala better to em Pooja Porter Cindy we will say ignore buster, the ultimate formatting. So these are some of the aspects. Now look at the, the aspect of our Navy aquariums. Allahu alayhi wa sallam wrote a letter to each other when his son passed away. Let me just give you a few aspects with regard to that letter. And he told him, oh from Muhammad, the prophet of Almighty Allah to massively German. Can you imagine the Prophet of Allah writing a letter to his companion on the passing away of his son? What a great student that it is. So what Kareem saw Selim told him, may Allah add to your recompense and your reward, and calm your Sacred Heart and
give you the server to thank him
for the beautiful word, and
May Allah read to your recompense, and Tom your Sacred Heart, and give you the summer to thank him, oh, was your son was a good trust of Allah. He kept you blessed with a trust that he wanted until he desired and when he desired, he took it away from you, in return from a greater Recompense. But that recompense will only come if you make supper. And you are contented with a well at the decree in the decision of Almighty Allah subhanho wa Taala. over us, if you show impatient, you will lose that reward.
Oh was if you show impatient you will use that reward you already compared to reward with Allah is if you get to know how much reward and recompense has been granted to you for it for that server, then this loss would appear meager in your eyes. With regard to the reward Allah tala will give you for making some
can't give any more better explanation with regard to that. Your son was a trust to you, Allah gave him as an amateur to you for a certain specific period of time, and others to get away when their trust and their destiny and the time was finished. Someone gave his example into the style. You take a car hire, you take a car for hire. Now, when you go and return the car, it was supposed to be for you for a few days. Are you gonna cry? Are you gonna feel sad when you keep factory if it was supposed to be for you for three days, after three days when you give it you cry so much, which I'm giving my CDs back now. But it was supposed to be only for three days you only hired me for three
days. And law gave it to you for a specific time. When we make mention of this, brothers are always make mention of Allah. Don't test us. Don't ever give us difficulty. But these are the ways and methods where we give the salary to people. The way Nivea cream sauce taught us as a number of you allow time as a child was on the last moments of his life. last moment of the life so nobody saw so I said Zainab send a message to me a cream sauce in him and he told me so awesome to come maybe saw some gaming maybe saw some took the child, the grandchild in the arms and started crying. So sad, sad
jasola you also cry?
When am I right with regard to this? that it shows that previously Let me tell himself cinema told the Sahaba about crying at the time of death and what is that? Remember this? He is not from amongst us who slept his cheeks tears his clothes and screams and wails at the time of sadness. He's not from us. But what am I say the balance is if you cry in a control made out of grief, it is permissible. But you don't say what the term something that shows displeasure with a nurse commands.
to slap your cheek tear your clothes and do that type of mourning is not permissible and it's not good but to cry out of greed is permissible. Then maybe a cream sauce to them told his daughter in narela humor when omata waka Lucia in India will be actually
the one who has given he's the one who has taken it and law gave you take a look at each and everything has a specific a lot of time which Allah tala is allotted. Now these are the things situations that we have to keep in mind. Our nebia Creme De La La Silla, apcera La La La La Silla. appnana vasica give a * perhaps in our
Ico in alphas metacell at Joby Allah, Allah Allah, Allah Allah or God will be Allah subhana wa Tanaka or ha ha chemo karma would that head to scalea server cecum law, or other timepiece Arturo makes about he told his daughter, Allah will give you a reward. Now among the things
I do apologize for my broken throat, I don't know what it is, whatever it is, what are the things that we have to keep in mind? What do we do? few points. Be there for a person who is grieving, be available to him, sometimes do things that you take for granted. Now, for example, if the person is there, he has to transport his children, and he's no more than offered it for them. Maybe a cream sauce tell him at a time when as a Jaffa Ravi Allahu taala, passed away and told his family go and give food to the family of Jaffa. Please go and give them some form of support that is there. Except that everyone grieves in their own way. There is no normal way. Don't go and say that, why is he
grieving like that everyone could have their own way of grieving. Just be afraid means of support. Encourage the person to talk and listen to him. Sometimes he might bring about aspects of the memory of the past Person of the disease. Don't stop him, let him speak. Listen to him. create an environment in which the person can be themselves and show the feelings without having to put a front. Be aware that sometimes grieving can take a long time, contact. This is very important. There will be certain times when a person will think of the deceased. Now I'm not giving a fatwa Do you have to go and sit by the deceased person in a time of need, we all know that.
But it's a natural thing at a time of need a person is going to think about his deceased person. He's going to think about his his this person who has passed on, just quit offer support going for him, give him some sort of the salary and comfort at that time. I'm not saying he shouldn't have to insert at that time of it. I'm not saying it's compulsory, but it's a natural thing that he's going to think about that he sees at certain times. That certain times could give him some sort of comfort, comfort, very careful with regard to certain things. Be certain things stay away from don't stay away from a person who is believed. Sometimes it happens. You feel I can go to him. I don't
know what I'm going to tell him. I don't know what I'm going to tell him I'm gonna feel uncomfortable. No, don't avoid him going see, no matter how you feel, go and see him.
And remember, don't underestimate how emotionally draining it can be to give someone else comfort. So in the process, look after yourself also. But no, this is very important. Avoid telling a person that I know what you are going through
Africa took up Africa to Cambodia pata. pata, you don't know. Even if you have a similar experience, the pain is not the same. You might have a similar experience, but the pain is different from one person to another. Avoid killing a person I know what you are going through. And we don't have the right to tell someone who is grieving differently from what we understand grieving to be that we don't have a man after a man comes on him. How are you grieving? You can excel? How can you tell someone when you don't know what he's going through? Who grieves him a different way from what you are grieving, to tell him that you have wiechmann we have people who are such judgmental people who
do these type of things. All you have to do is to tell him what maybe a cream sauce to him said about grieving, but you don't have the right to say that he's got a weak man, because he is grieving in a different way than what you are grieving. And one of the things that is so important, we don't have the right to tell someone due to our understanding of a grief that that it's time to move on.
Many times we tell the person now How long are you going to sit and worry about him he's gone. He's gone.
Move on in your life. How many times you tell a person
How do you know what he's going through? He has his own timeframe for his grief. Don't tell a person it's time to move on now, forget everything What has happened? How can you tell a person like that?
And these are things that we have to be sensitive about it. Sometimes we are not sensitive. We tell a person and maybe we doing it in good in a good gesture that you know that time to move on and the son has said that he has to move on. We understand that. But you don't know the timeframe for his grief. Don't tell him it's time to move on. Rather what you are supposed to do that create the right environment and the support for him to move on. Create the right environment for him to move on. Let me give you an example. I will conclude with a swan Allah just to show you how we are supposed to give people testimony
as an I shall be allowed. When they asked me to be a cream sauce, you are a student law. Since I hurt him.
He has made mention of this in his Kitab Shaka within that year, as soon as since I heard about nuclear and Akira, I am so afraid. How are going to listen to McCarran McKee. We all get afraid. What are we going to do in the
jasola? How I'm going to listen to the voice of mukarram mckeel. Right? And what's going to happen to me when the grave according to the Hadith comes down and it compresses you. And it's it comes down and he presses you. So
you know what maybe Kareem saw Selim said, Oh Ayesha, if you have EMR, the voice of none wound care and Nakheel. If men fill it, it is like so much that is put in your eyes. It is like super put in your eyes, and the pressing the pressing of the cover. When a child gets a headache, and the mother out of great facility and comfort takes the child and process it. For a believer the pressing of the cover will be like that. Give people respect.
Give people reassurance. Don't make them frightened. Give them when they are in difficulty don't make the difficulty more. Look at what Napoleon himself said. I'm saying we create such a scenario. Do you know what's going to happen to you in the cover?
This is what's going to happen to the pressing of the cover what we like how a mother presses a child miracle It was a terrific method always keep us away from difficulty that we cannot bear unless Allah make it always easy for us. But if we have to and we either position, these are some of the things that the Sharia has told us what to say and what to say and how to say it was a toughy walk through that one