Channel: Daood Butt
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a sense of where they come? What are my two locking robotic cattle. So it is the 15th of November Sunday evening at 8:01pm. And we begin our next session of essential fick. Tonight in our class, we continue along our journey of studying through the chapter of marriage. And we are going to continue with where we left off. Last time we were talking about the world ie the permission of the wealthy and what's needed from him. And tonight, we will be discussing the speech for the wedding ceremony. So what needs to be said or what should be said at the marriage, and we are also going to cover the mouth, the mouth of the dowry? Well, technically, it's not really a dowry, because a dowry is really
something that the husband or the future husband as in the groom would receive from the bride's family, but in Islam is the other way around. So in Islam, it's the groom's family that is, in fact, the groom or his family, but technically, the groom, gifting the bride herself. I'm just gonna quickly step to my left for a second and grab a remote control to shut the heating in my office because you probably hear a little bit of a fan noise of offense, so just give me a second inshallah.
Alright, so as we said, we're going to be taking the next part, focusing on the speech of the wedding ceremony, okay, the speech of the wedding ceremony, and I just need to quickly switch the caption here. There we go. We'll just hide that because that was wrong.
All right. So
it's recommended that there's a speech when the contract is made. Okay, this is part of our Diem. And this speech is known as the hook but we had john Okay, the hook bottle had john, we typically would hear the hook bottle hijjah at the beginning of a Jamal Hooda. So when it is Friday, and we are sitting in the masjid listening to the hot lead, he usually stands up on the member and will say this quote, but it is the hope of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that he began every hook by with okay. And in the marriage ceremony, this is all that's needed. Right the hook bottle had just so it will basically be the Islamic element to the marriage that completes that whole ceremony
everything else is basically an extra you know, thing or an extra add on to the marriage. And what we mean by that is, of course, as long as it's permissible and something that is permitted within the Diem then it's okay and if it's something that is outside of the deen that it is not permissible. Okay. And if it is something that is linked to a bada and it's extra, that is not part of our Deen, of course, we know that that is definitely not permissible.
So I'll read through the Arabic part of the clip a little harder, a little bit quicker than we usually do in the drama hookah. And then
if anyone has any questions at the end, they can ask me about it. So this is how it would typically go the person who's conducting the marriage will you know ask each side and so on. And we'll also include in there you know, discussion or speech in front of the people this football in Al Hamdulillah Mohammed who want to start a new one stop film whenever we'll be let him in surely unforeseen our woman said Yachty and Alina, man yes the 11th level the Lola woman ukulele fella hodja Why should we let you know in the Law
Center why shadow under Mohammed and Abu rasuluh? Yeah, you have Latina Armand de la kulu sorry, yeah, you're living at home and it took a law hardcore to karate when I was 11 to Muslim on Yeah, your nurse it took over a berkheimer Lydia Kanaka camino superheater 100 caminhos jaha but I mean humare Jalan kathina when he said what type of La la de de Luna be he will have him in the lava can air and eco merkiva Yeah, you know Lydia ermanno de la Kunal Colin said either you're on the air Moroccan oil field like Rubicon woman nuclear la Sula, who fucka defensor foes and our Lima and bad for him that are stuck on hitc keytab a lot. Well hey bill Howdy, how do you Mohammed in some along
I think you are some of them are shuffle more data to her are called Lupita itin balada or kulu bada ting Finn now.
And then if
the man or the person conducting the marriage wants to do something or say something of naseeha a device, and that's permissible as well.
Okay. So you'll see the first part is basically printed
Allah subhana wa tada all praises to Allah alone. We praise Him and seek His help and ask for his forgiveness and seek refuge in Allah from the evil in our souls and from our sinful deeds. Whoever Allah guides, no one can mislead, and whoever Allah sends astray, no one can guide, I bear witness that there's nothing worthy of worship except a lot, one without any partner, and a bear witness that Muhammad is His servant, and messenger. And then these Ayat of the Quran or recite it right or you have believed, fear of law, as he should be feared and die, not accept as Muslims. All Mankind fear Lord, your Lord who created you from one soul and created from it, its mate and dispersed from
both of them, many men and women, and fear a lot through whom you ask one another, and the rooms. Indeed, a lot is ever over you an observer, will you who have believed, fear a lot and speak words of appropriate justice says in good words, he then he will then amend for you your sins, and whoever obeys Allah and His Messenger has certainly attained a great attainment to proceed on the bad. Verily, the truest speech is the book of Allah, the guidance is the guidance of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, the western affairs are the newly introduced matters, something that is innovation evident. And every heresy is misguidance. And every misguidance is in the fire.
And that's it. So when you think of it, it's super easy, very simple, very straightforward. Not too hard, right.
Of course, it's recommended to congratulate the spouse, and the other spouse, and not just talk to one, but talk to both. And this is sometimes a mistake that we see happening, sometimes you'll see that because only the brother is there in front. And the sister was already asked or she's you know, sitting in a different area, that the focus is put on the brother of the brother, the brother. And
it's very interesting, because usually when you go to a walima, it's the opposite. The focus is like on the sister, the sister, the sister. And one thing that's really strange that happens at weddings. And this is a little bit off topic. But you'll notice that the groom usually goes into the women's side where the bride is and will sit next to her and all the women can take pictures of him. For some reason on that day, he's immune to all the other women that are out there, right? Like he's allowed to, and that's not right, it's not ugly. Okay, it should not be done this way. The women can celebrate with the women, the men can celebrate with the men, okay.
But for some reason, for the sake of purpose, for the sake of pictures, you know, you'll see how sometimes the groom will go into the sister side, sit with the bride, and people will take pictures and come and stand next to them. And for some reason, all the brothers are deprived of this great, you know, practice of people, you know, they're deprived of standing and take pictures with them. And I don't know why that's the case. I don't know why that's the case. And I don't know why the groom goes into the women's side. That just shouldn't happen. Okay, that was a little bit of a side track, sort of piece of advice, and a rant that I just wanted to get off my shoulders.
Now, like I said, it's recommended to congratulate the bride and groom and this is from the son of the Prophet sent along I think he was sending them were the prophets all along it was some of them said in the Hadith narrated by Abba would have the lover and
when the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam wanted to express marital harmony for the person who got married, or the people who got married, depending on who he's talking to, if he's talking to the groom alone, or he's talking to the bride and the groom, right, so that that would be said or what was said by the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam barakallahu li walakum wa Alaykum wa Gemma Danakil Matthew Kate, okay, on laws blessing for you and blessings upon you. May you be joined together in goodness. That's a door How about a kilo loco Baraka la cocina de Nicola fear failure, or if you sing it to both of them about a con la hula Kuma or da la Kuma where Gemma obey no coma for your
phrase. That's why it's important for us to know Arabic so that we can correctly say things to people when we need to say it to them. I'm
just gonna move this down a little bit. It's kind of weird. Okay, so now we move off into the Dow theory
or we're going to call it the mouth. And I don't like using the term Dow Theory I like using the term of because mahoe is specific to Islam and ours.
Specific rulings and specific things that need to be met and specific things that need to be followed and it is specific to Muslims as well. Okay. So
loss of haddaway to Allah says and sort of to Nisa well done nice.
Slide your party in any level, but you live in a comerciais him in unison
verse number four a sort of the Nisa Allah Subhana. Allah says, and give to the women who you marry their dowry their mom
with a good heart.
But if they have their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, take it and enjoy it without fear of any harm, as a law has made that something that's permissible. Now, that doesn't mean that brothers now can go ahead and use this against their spouse or use it against their wife, or use it against their bride. Right future bride to be.
There are some brothers who when they argue with their spouse, they use this as an as an excuse, or as a proof to force their wife to pardon them of the mahalo that they agreed to pay but haven't paid yet. So some brothers, you know, when they
are having issues, brothers and sisters are having issues. The wife will say, you know what, I haven't received my mother yet. Right? He hasn't paid me my mother yet. Or he hasn't given it to me. Because for some people, it's not a payment for some people. It's a gift of some sort.
sometimes the the sister will say he hasn't given it to me yet. This is a problem. You know, he promised me he never fulfills his promises and so on and so forth. And it's her right? It's her right that Muhammad is a rent and then the brothers will come and say Don't you know Allah says what? To Nisa. So Ducati hinden Allah for into Veneto Comanche in min one of sanfur kulu, honey and Maria. And they'll be like, Don't you know that Allah says, If you pardon me and forgive me, so you can you can forgive me? All right, they use this and they like, really force it upon their wife like, you should forgive me. Aren't you forgiving Mohammed Salah long, right? He was selling was
forgiving. Shouldn't you be forgiving? Why don't you forgive me of this? This is my right to be forgiven?
And then I usually stop them and say, Brother, what was the first part of the verse?
Like, what do you mean, was the first part of the verse? Well, it sounds like a call to him.
Yes. What does that mean? I don't know. What are you talking about? No, no, no, you know what I'm talking about? What? To nice, a slight Ducati
and give to those women that you get married to? What is right, what is their their right? They deserve it, it's theirs. It's an agreement that you made at the time of marriage, they don't have to forgive you. They don't have to pardon you have that. Right. You must give it to them if they want to it is there, right? They need it. They want it, they can have it, it's fine. And it's only in the case where you know what a sister says it's too difficult for my husband or it's okay, you know, I forgive you of that or give me half or give it to me later and so on and so forth.
Now, the Maha is the rate of the woman upon the man. Okay, the Maha is the rate of the woman upon the man. And she is the sole owner of that mob, as in that Maha belongs to her.
Whatever was agreed to be given to her is hers. Okay?
This is again, a mistake that some brothers will make, they will go ahead and
feel as though the Mahal doesn't belong to her or part of the moho should be shared with him, and should be used towards some of their expenses and stuff like that. No, it's hers. If she wants to have it, she can have it and it's hers. And she owns it, and she can do whatever she wants with it. If she wants to spend it on things that she needs, she can do that. If she wants to invest it, she can do it. If she wants to give it away to someone she could do if she wants to give it to her parents, you can do that. If she wants to give it to her children. She can do that she can do whatever she wants with it. It's hers.
Of course we encourage to do what is helpful and what is right. What Allah subhanho wa Taala wants is for us to use it in a way that is had on how we use it. There are certain ways that we've been advised to use our wealth and you know, to use it wisely and stuff like that. But it is the right of the woman upon the men and she is the sole owner of it. The hustle
Can't say, Oh, you put that money in my bank account. So it's now mind, we have a joint account, you took your money out and you put it in our account. So it's our money. No, it isn't. No, it isn't a joint account as a joint account. But the model that is islamically legislated, is hers, it's hers. Don't touch it. Don't touch it, don't use it, don't take it and expect it to be yours, because you put it in that account. And I could tell you firsthand, this is an issue that many people have in their marriages. They'll have a joint account. And I'm not talking about joint accounts, but have a joint account, and they will take their mom and place it into that account. And she thinks he knows
that X amount of money is mine.
He's like, Hey, we got to pay bills. I used it. It's gone. It's done. I don't have it anymore. Shouldn't have touched it. And sister You shouldn't have put it there as well. Right? It's yours. Keep it safe. Keep it safe, keep it safe. Do what you want with it. Okay.
No one, not even the Father has the right to take any of his daughters Maha. except in the case that she consents to him taking it.
out of her own free will as in like, if she gives him permission to take from it, then he can take from it. Okay, because it's her wealth. It's like me saying this is my water. But if my daughter wants to come and drink from it, she can drink from it. That's fine. Right? It's mine, but she can drink from it. If she needs if she feels thirsty, she can come in have some, right. So
Islamic law has neither set a minimum norm maximum amount for them. Okay? However, it's encouraged to lighten the amount of burden upon the person who's going to be giving you that law. Okay.
So it's encouraged to
be moderate in the amount that we request. I know some people i i can tell you straight up I know cases of people whose motto is close to a million dollars. And I'm not talking about people who are millionaires. I'm talking about just general brothers, who you know, get married to someone and they say, you know what, I want my mom to be a house, you have to buy me a house that has four bedrooms, three bathrooms and unfinished basement and a two car garage. That's what I wanted them out. Right? And it has to be within you know, for example, Milton or the GTA, or whatever city they live in, right? So that's looking at close to a million dollars worth of
don't set an unrealistic amount. And also try to make sure that it's something that you are able to receive not just something that is superficial, okay, something that is able to achieve able to receive, okay, for those of you that are asking questions, can you just keep the questions till the end inshallah, so that we can answer them at the end.
so Islamic law is neither a set minimum or a maximum for the mahone however, it is encouraged that the lightning of this burden and an avoidance of extravagance is observed so that it will be easier for the marriage to take place. And also so that young men are not burdened with a great expense. You'll notice that some brothers are looking to get married and can't afford them a home because it is like and I remember when I was in Saudi as a student going back many years, you know, the Maha at that time, I remember reading in the Arab news newspaper was somewhere around $100,000. I was like the average mom 100,000 riyals 100,000, reals a lot of money. When you think of it, that's like,
what, 30 $25,000 Canadian, that's a lot of money. That's a lot of money. 27 $28,000 a month? I don't know, some of you might say, That's not a lot of money. That's perfectly fine. That's fine. You know, I was a student at the time, and I still think right now, that's a lot of money. Right? If I was, you know, looking to get married, in the current stage with the law, I'm not okay. I don't know if my wife's watching or not, but I'm not. I'm just saying like for for many brothers, a $28,000. Mo is not something that they can easily give. Right? But for some brothers they can for some brothers, that's like, Okay, I have that in savings, right? Like I know some brothers have come to me who are
10 years younger than me, right? And they're like, you know, shake I'm interested in buying so and so car and they know that I know cars. So they asked me about cars and I'm like, Okay, how you gonna finance This is like, Well, I have this amount in savings. I'm just gonna pay cash. Well, watch how long you guys can afford to buy cars cash. So kind of law you know, and they're like, young much younger than me too.
10 years, 1012 years younger than me, I'm good luck. They've, you know, worked really hard and and have a lot of good jobs and a lot of data is provided for every person in different ways. And so for each person, you need to look at what's different. Some people will come and say, what's the norm in our society? I can't say what's the norm in our society? Because I live in a society you live in the society and everyone else lives in the society but not all of us make the same amount. Okay, not all of us make the same amount. So for some people,
the $1 million mojado is doable. And for other people a million dollars is like my son Emma.
You You want to get married to me for a million so now Monica is like they just can't afford a million dollars is too much. And then for other people $20,000 is too much. And I remember you know,
how won't give any examples we'll move on in sha Allah.
Allah Subhana Allah then says in sort of Tunis at verse number 21, Adamo stupid as LG McKenna's LG t to the one
who do me who shy but if you intend to replace a wife by another as in you divorce your wife, you're gonna re marry a wife and you have given one of them a great amount of gold, for example, as a dowry, okay, at their time, you know, it was gold or silver. So if you've given them a great amount, for example, and a great amount, usually at their time was like of heavy, you know, weight and value. Allah Subhana Allah says, If you intend to give a great amount, do not take the least bit of it back. Okay, do not take the least bit of it back. As in don't take back from someone else that you are getting from from your spouse or getting divorced to you promise to give her that give her
So even Sarah said, while I was sitting among the people in the company of Allah's Messenger, some longer he was an alum, a woman stood and said, or Allah's Messenger, she has given herself to you. So give your opinion about her. So she herself, right stood up, and was was speaking to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in the third person, right? But she was offering herself to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, imagine that. Let me go back son live inside of the Lama. And he's saying I was while I was sitting among the people in the company of the messenger of a loss on a long it was something so the prophets along it was somebody was sitting there, and there's
companions. Sahaba sitting around him. Okay, both men and women. And a woman from amongst them a female companions stood up and said, Oh, messenger of Allah. She has given herself in marriage to you. So give your opinion about her.
She's saying on messenger of Allah, I am offering myself to you and marriage. What do you want to do? Who will you marry me?
So how long would you think of it? It's like, imagine you're in the masjid. Okay. And, you know, someone is there. There's a bunch of people there. And a sister stands up and says, oh, Abdullah, I offer myself to you in marriage. Do you want to marry me? It's like a public proposal in front of everyone. So kind of locked, right? That's amazing, isn't it? To think that it happened to the prophets and along I think you ascend them in front of everyone. That's like, well, what's going on here?
So the prophets come along, I think he was some of them did not give her any response. She again stood up and said, Oh, last messenger, she has given herself in marriage to you. Please give your opinion about her. She's talking about herself in the third person, right? The prophet SAW longer and he was some of them did not give her any reply. She again stood up a third time. Imagine three times imagine how, you know, I'm just thinking how embarrassed you would be to stand up and you know, proposed publicly to someone else. How about the noise you're hearing is the wind, lifting the aluminum siding off the front of my office outside and smacking it against the wall. So if you're
hearing that noise, it's just very windy here today. So she stands up a third time, all as messenger she has given herself to you in marriage, so give your opinion about her. So a man stood up and said,
all laws messenger. Marry her to me.
I just I find I find you know, sometimes when we read through Hadeeth we
Just read it black and white. But we don't like envision ourselves there. If I was sitting there I just be like, Masha, what's going on here? You know, so how to love. This woman stands up and she's literally like begging the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, or messenger of Allah, marry me on messenger of Allah marry me, you know three times she stands up and does that. And then this man stands up another one of the companions, he stands up and he says, Oh messenger of Allah, marry her to me, I'll marry her. If you don't want to answer you don't want to marry her. I'll marry her. Just imagine how this is happening in front of the Sahaba and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.
The prophets on along it was Selim then asked him, do you have anything? Have you got anything? As in to give her as a mother?
He said, No. So now imagine this woman standing there going, What?
You have the nerve to stand up and ask to marry me and you have nothing to even offer me in marriage? Why would Why would a woman want to marry this man? Right? Just think of it. So he says no, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam tells him go and search for something, even if it were an iron ring, not a gold ring.
Not a silver ring, not a titanium ring, an iron ring, just anything that she can wear, to beautify herself, or as a piece of jewelry, a gift.
The men went and searched and then returned saying I could not find anything. I could not find anything. Not even an iron ring. The Prophet sent along I think he was send them then said do you know some of the Quran? He replied, I know such in such surah and such in such surah
the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, Go, I have married her to you for what you know of the Quran. Okay, so basically, this is an example of how the moho could be monetary. It could be in you know, material, as in, you know, material, worldly kind of gifts, you know, solid things. And it could be teaching her something, giving her some of the speaking to her, you know, kind words teaching her headies teaching her I out of the Koran. And so these are certain things that can be given as a mom. Okay.
So, you know, this example is really interesting, because this lady stands up asking for the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam. And of course,
some of you are going, wait a second, what if she didn't want to marry him? If she didn't want to marry him? Then she would say, I don't want to marry him. Right? She has every right and remember, the permission has to come from her, as in the permission is from the wealthy, but she has to agree to that. Right? So
the ending of the Hadeeth doesn't really fill in the gaps of what was taking place. Afterwards, you know, the prophets on a longer it was some of them would do the bottle hodja. Right. As in, you know, get ready to go get yourself ready. We're going to marry you off to her. She's okay with it. She's fine with it. She's looking to get married. And remember for some of the Sahaba if they felt the Prophet some along, I think it was someone was offering someone to me in marriage, then who am I to argue with this? This much must be an amazing person. He must be super awesome. He must be honest, righteous, good, pious, and so on and so forth. So really what it came down to was,
am I physically attracted to him or not? Right? If the person is not physically attracted to them, that's a different story. But generally, they would look at it and say, Well, wait a second, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is offering this person to me and marriage. That's like something of honor.
I think any one of us would probably sit there and go You know what, that would be amazing. Imagine the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam came to your home and said, Hey, would you marry so person? I offer sounds a person to you in marriage, like Yasuda law. Who am I to argue with you? You know, if you think this person is good for me, and how do they law? Right? And remember, the prophet sent along? It was sanlam whatever he said and did was ye from a lot. Well, now young people I need how in what in what you have, so whatever he is doing, he is offering this to you. This is something from a lot as well. You know, it's like divine from Allah subhanho wa Taala. Why would the Sahaba
refuse? unless there was a reason valid reason for them to refuse, then that's acceptable. If anyone would say no, I don't want to be married in like the example of berita and movies. No, I don't want to be married to him, caught us. You don't want to be married to
Don't be married to him, right? You have every right to ask that, okay, so long as it's within what is permitted of the Dinos. And if someone's taking your rights and so on away,
it is permissible to pay the entire Mahal in advance or to delay all of its payment, or to pay some in advance, and to delay the rest. Okay, so it is permissible to pay all of the Mahal in advance, or to delay all of it, and pay it over time, for example, or to pay some in advance and pay some overtime. Now I'm going to throw something in here that I've learned from experience, okay, from experience, my brothers and sisters, if you are interested in getting married to someone, and they are offering you a model of let's just use a random number of $10,000 as a mom, and the brother says, I'm going to give you $1,000 now, and $9,000 over time.
Okay, over how much time?
That's the question you need to ask. What do you mean over time? Do you mean you will give me $4,000 every month until it's paid off, or $2,000 every month until it's paid off? Or $1,000 every month or $500? Every month? Or you're going to give it to me within the next 12 months? right by the end of the year? When are you going to give me these $9,000 or a brother says to a sister who's getting married to I will give you a mahalo of $2,000 on our wedding day, right on the day we do the Nika and
I will take you for Hajj as a mom.
She says I'm going to go for Hajj. That's like a good 1012 you know, she might say okay, but if you're going to take me for Hodge, I want it to be you know, with like data set or Falcon travel like the VIP vvv vvv vvv VIP ones, right the ones that you get like, you know golf carts that take you to stone the gym a lot and golf carts to take you to your hotel and golf carts that will take you to the bathroom and you know, a private person who's cleaning the bathroom before and after use it and spraying air freshener in there, you know those 15 1820 $22,000 hedge packages. She might say, well, I want that one. And he says no problem. I'll give you that one. No problem. Okay, when?
When? When are you going to give me this? Next Year is coming how much in five years in 10 years? When I need a deadline? I need to know when we're going. And you need to meet this deadline because that's a condition in our marriage condition in our marriage. Right? Bam. That's important. Most brothers and sisters, especially for the sisters, remember, if you are going to receive something over time, and if you say you know what, it doesn't matter when, you know, she might say, okay, you owe me $9,000 It doesn't matter. Whenever you're able to pay me that's fine. But I encourage that people put a time limit or a specific amount of time when these payments will be given. Okay, when
are you going to teach me this? When are you going to give me this? When are you going to take me for that? When are you going to pay me this? Why?
I know some brothers and sisters married for over 25 years and still haven't received a single dollar of their mom.
I know some sisters that were married and that are divorced and still didn't receive any of their mom. I know some sisters that are married, divorced, remarried to someone else divorced from that person and never received their mug from the first marriage nor did they receive their mug from the second marriage and divorce.
Why? Because we were not specific on some of these things. And also because the brothers don't fear a loss panic attack.
Sorry, but that's just the way it is.
If brothers truly feared a loss of handling data, they would make it a point to pay their money before they divorce and leave that sister.
That is her right and that was a an agreement made when marrying her. Now the brother is divorcing her and still hasn't given them out. Come on. That's her right and it was her right. except in the case when it is a COLA and the whole other Maha is returned. Right so the the if the sister the wife herself is asking or requesting for an annulment of the marriage as a different story as a different story. We'll talk about that when we talk about divorce right now we're talking about marriage okay.
It is also permissible for the men to consummate the marriage without having had without having given the woman anything. Okay, so it is permissible for the two of them to consummate their marriage. Without her receiving anything. If she again agreed to that.
Okay, if she agrees, okay, he's gonna pay me my Mahal in 12 months by the end of this year, he will give me my money. Okay, some people will say, I'm not going to consummate this marriage until he pays me my mom.
Okay, that's between them. But can they islamically consummate their marriage? And for those who don't mean, be sexually intimate with one another, before receiving them? Uh huh. Yes. If the wife agrees to that and says it's fine, you know what you pay me in 12 months and that's fine. That's okay. Okay, they can, they can be sexually intimate with each other and consummate the marriage without him having given her the Maha yet.
It is obligatory upon him to give her a Mahal, that is usually given to women similar to her, if the two had not agreed upon a particular amount for the Maha. So for example, a brother's marrying a sister, the sister says, Give me whatever you feel fit, whatever you feel is good to give to someone like me.
So some sisters. Mashallah lots of water Cola, when I hear about what some sisters are getting on, just like, how did a lie and hope my wife never hears what those sisters get? Or got?
And I know she's probably watching. Right. But some sisters, they, some have a lot, you know, and that's fine. I am not saying that they don't have a right to ask for this, right. But some sisters come from a certain lifestyle. I know a brother, a really good friend of mine who married a sister who comes from a very wealthy family. And he could not financially sustain her. Okay, as in the things that she expected in her life that she grew up having, you know, the luxuries that she had the kind of place that she lived in the home that she expected to live in the clothing. She expected to wear the food, she expected to eat the car she expected to drive, the places she expected to go,
the amount of money spending money she expected to have. He couldn't afford it. And he was like, I need to get out of this marriage. I can't do this. Right? can't do this. She's like I need to. He was like I need to get out of this marriage. I've done like he financially, he was just stressed out of his mind. He's like, I can't deal with this. And I told him, I said, I warned you that you wouldn't be able to do this. I told him I'm like, take it from someone who's married, you're not going to be able to do this. How were you going to get the extra money from? How are you going to take your wife out to places she wants to go to? You want to go there too, but you can't afford to
pay for that. How are you going to do that. And so this brothers Paolo, eventually, he had to, you know, divorce his wife. I also know some people that married sisters who lived a certain lifestyle prior to marriage as a life of luxury and comforts and wealth and so on, which again, is permissible if we can afford it. Sadly, there's nothing wrong with it. If you can afford it, it's fine.
But after marriage, they saw that their husband couldn't afford it. And so they
were pleased with it with whatever they had.
thankful to Allah subhana wa Tada. They have a husband was respectful. husband has Dean, a husband, who doesn't abuse her physically, mentally, emotionally, a husband who respects her rights, a husband, who works really hard to give whatever he can, and tries even harder to give more even though it's hard for him. Right? Some sisters will humble themselves hum did whatever it is happy to have him as opposed to others that are out there. Okay.
And then you have
I mean, you have everything in between. Right then you have everything else in between. But remember brothers when you're marrying a sister
who expects certain things or lived a certain way,
you have to try and give her a mug. Now we're not talking about giving her things after marriage. We're talking about the mug.
Some sisters will say I want $750,000 dollars, not a house, not in like items and things. I don't want you to put me in a house that cost $750,000 she says I want $750,000 in my bank account.
If the brother agrees to that, and he's able to give it an hamdulillah
you know hamdulillah for other brothers, they won't be able to and have dinner.
Okay, if that's what that sister wants, and a brother says Who does she think she is? $750,000. Who do you think you are to choose her as a spouse? It's
That's what she wants, and you're not okay with it, and you're already having issues and maybe you shouldn't marry her.
She's saying, you know,
just the reality of it, okay. If they had agreed on a specific amount, then he must give that specific amount, one should be very cautious
and must be aware of not fulfilling this important condition of not fulfilling this important condition. So be careful of not fulfilling this important condition for the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam had said that conditions that you have the most duty to fulfill are those that make permissible the private parts, as in from the most important conditions that you have to fulfill are the conditions of marriage, paying attention upon him.
I hope you're paying attention. And I hope you're not freezing cold in Edmonton. Right, the prophets on a longer I didn't know some of them said the conditions that you have the most duty to fulfill are those that make permissible the private parts as in make two people halaal for each other, to be sexually involved with one another. Whatever conditions are agreed upon to bring these two people together. Those are from the most important conditions that you need to fulfill in your life.
The last part that will take in a lot of data is
what month is preferred to begin living with one's spouse, and there's no specific month really, that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam legislated for us to be getting married in or that Allah subhanaw taala indicated for us to be getting married in about a few hundred. But I shadowed the lover and he said the Messenger of Allah sallallahu wasallam married me in the month of show well and took me to his house as a bride during show what and who among the prophets wives was dearer or more dear to him, then I I shout out the Aloha and had was saying that he brought her home during the month of chawan. And I shall do one more. I'm her self herself. She herself preferred
that the women of her family would enter the houses of their husbands as brides during the month of show what. So this was something that as a shout out the lover herself felt was good and important. Because the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam married her during the month of Shabbat. This is an example of people focusing on the small slight things that most people don't think of. And saying if the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam did this, and I want to do it too.
If you use his miswak at this time of the day, people will say, it's so nice to clean your mouth and to make sure your mouth is clean. But some will say but what time of the day did he uses miswak because I want to clean my mouth during that time too. Because I want to do it the way he did it. And the time he did it right in the manner that he did it some A lot of us ended up. So that's putting that focus and emphasis on certain things that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam did himself.
That's all it will take for today. inshallah, I'll open it up for some questions.
Hope that, you know the class was was beneficial. And it wasn't too heavy for some of you, and you didn't fall asleep. And you didn't change your mind on the spouse that you were planning on getting married to?
So we'll open it up for some questions. I know some of you wrote questions in before, but I could go and scroll and try and find them. But might be easier if you just so do we know the penalty for not paying or cheating on the mouse? I'll have to look into that. Okay, I'll have to look into that. And charlo Tada.
Yeah, there's a lot of things with regards to the mahone. That comes up and a lot of things with regards to a lot of things within Islam, but we just focus on what, you know, is important and relevant at the time. You know, we're focusing on the importance of it. And, you know, the general idea and just two things. Remember, without going into super super depth with our fifth class, we're giving general you know, knowledge of certain topics within the dean. Let me just scroll up here and see if there's anything
don't see any questions here.
So if anyone has any questions, please write them in there.
Okay, so Manuel says Khadija was more special than at Isha. So during the time of Khadija Khadija gala and how was the most beloved to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and during the time of Asia I showed the love and how was the most beloved to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and no doubt. I showed the love and who was jealous of Khadija of the lover and her.
And we know that when the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was reminded of her, you know, he his behavior changed because he was remembering Khadija, and I shout out the lover and I said something about her that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was not happy with. And she knew right away that that was wrong. Right and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam had informed her of that, okay.
Do you think should to what? Nina, I'm not really sure I understand your question. Do you think should two men before wedding, I think you need to rewrite that
was ruling on changing my home after the contract has been signed, permissible if the wife is in agreement with it. So if she agrees and says, I forgive you of the remainder of what you gave to me, or I pardon you of that, remember, we spoke about that right? Then that's permissible. If she says, You know what, I want less than that. That's fine. But for her to request more than it that she can't do, unless he's okay with it. Okay. But generally, that's not something that we do, it's usually it's usually relieving him have a debt. Remember, if he doesn't pay it right away, then it's a debt upon him. And if someone dies with debt,
that person doesn't go to genda. Right, that person is do have a punishment, because of not fulfilling a debt.
And so sometimes, a wife will say, I don't want something to happen to you, I forgive you of that. Or if her husband passes away, and she didn't receive her mom, she says, I forgive you of that debt. or her husband passes away, he did not pay her mother yet. So let's say he had $5,000 left to pay off the mob.
And he passes away. Luckily, that alone may last without to protect us all and save us all from falling into debt. I mean, and so
before his wealth is distributed, she will get so the person who is in charge or responsible of distributing the estate or figuring out the inheritance and who's getting what, all debts need to be paid first, right? So the debt is covered first, and then whatever is left, that is what's calculated. Okay.
Do you think mm should explain or school demand before summarizing regarding Mahal? So these men know his responsibility? Yes. Yes. That's why we're teaching this and I always say this. And I said this last week, we should learn about marriage and divorce before marriage. Learn about marriage and divorce before marriage. Because you need to know what you're getting into and you need to know how to get yourself out of what you're getting into as well in ways that also panaway to Allah permits. Okay.
Okay, I don't see any questions on here. Go to just
a guy gives a gift like a ring and does not consider it as mahana or
or Mart have also can
previously paid valuable gifts be asked to be used as a mom.
a guy gives a gift like a ring, and does not consider it as Maha, or a part of it,
Okay, so there's nothing wrong with that. If he doesn't consider that ring to be the Mohawk, then that's fine.
He still has
pays off. So for example, he says, I'm paying you $10,000. And he gifts her a ring.
She agreed to receiving $10,000 cash, okay?
He's giving her a ring and says, Oh, this ring cost $2,000.
That doesn't matter if he's giving it to her as a gift, and he's giving her flowers and you're giving her a dress, and he's giving her things, right, those things are not taking away from the amount that he owes her of the money. He has to say, Here's $2,000 for your mouth, here's another $2,000 of your mouth. Here's another $2,000 of your mouth, we have to make it clear when we're giving someone something, you know, what are you giving me this for? Someone comes into my office, like I was thinking of that earlier today, you know, someone a few weeks back came in, you know, for some questions and stuff. And as they were leaving, they gave me
a chocolate bar. And I saw the chocolate bar in my in my desk today. And I was thinking about it. You know,
I was thinking it was a nice gesture, to be honest. Like, you know, usually don't get
usually don't get anything, you know, as a gift. You don't expect anything, either. Because you're at work, you're just doing your job. That's what you're supposed to do. you're receiving your salary for what you do. But this person gave me a chocolate bar. And I was like, panela that was so nice. Like I at the time. I was like, Oh, you don't have to do that. Okay, take it. But today, I was like, I appreciate that chocolate bar. Because it was nice. It was good. Even though it was a small piece of chocolate is still good. Right? I cherished it and I ate it. Sorry. There's none left for anyone wants any.
My kids are watching chocolate bar. Right? Um,
so the intention of gift can be changed as long as woman accepts.
So if, if, okay, he says to her, listen, I don't have a little short on money. Would you accept this ring as part of the mouth? So he says I still owe you $8,000 of the 10,000 that we agreed to. But I have this ring that's valued at $2,000? Would you accept this as $2,000 from the 8000 that remains, and therefore I still only have to pay you $6,000 it's her wealth, right? So if she accepts her $8,000 in other kinds, and that's fine. Okay, that's fine. I'm not knows best. And then go back.
saw a couple things come up here and type. Okay, we saw that. If a wife forgives her mom at the time of kneecap what type of reward will she get? Allah knows best, but it's your right and you never know you might need it. Okay, you never know that you might need it later on. So I would not say just forgive him at the time of the marriage. What if two weeks after the marriage or the Nika? The marriage falls apart? You have nothing to get you on your feet and to help you. Okay.
This man, does man has to consider inflation on mahoe if paying it after several years. Good question. Very good question. This came up in the HUDs example that I gave. Okay. One of the sisters I know who requested a trip for hedge. Actually, let me rephrase that. I don't know the sister, the brother and sister came and asked me these questions, right. So the sister says, My husband promised to take me for hedge. But at the time that we got married 200 was like less than $3,000. Okay, that's what she was saying. At the time, we got married hundreds, like less than $3,000. But now had just over $10,000. Okay, and he's saying he's gonna give me $3,000 because that's how much it costed
at the time we got married. And I don't want $3,000 because he promised to take me for how much
my mother has to go for hedge. And he's complaining, I can't afford hedge. So here's the 3000 and just leave me alone. And she's saying no, I want my hedge trip. I don't care if it costs 10,000 13,000 15,000 20,000 I want to go for hedge and I don't want $3,000 and he's saying well, at the time I agreed it was 3000. So I'm giving you 3000 Sorry, brother, if you're going to take long to give it to her you have to factor in inflation. You said I'm going to take you for hedge whatever the cost of hedge is you got to take her for hedge
you got to take her for hedge miskeen brother is sitting there going I can't afford it. Well, you shouldn't have promised something you couldn't afford. Or you should have figured it out and taken her a lot earlier before and don't wait any longer before it gets even more expensive. And you know, it's interesting brothers and sisters.
Hedge really isn't that hard to afford?
Okay, hedge really isn't that hard to afford?
And I'll tell you how, and why. First of all, you come for hedge with us. And we So, okay, we do it, right. We help you, as in we don't charge. And when I say we, I don't own the company, I only go and lead as one of the religious leaders. Okay? So I don't make, you know, a percentage off what is no, I don't own I go. And I help you know the group from an aesthetic perspective.
But even if a person says, but I don't want to go for, you know, a $9,000 package, I want to go on a $13,000 package where I'm going to be staying close to the home. It's the one and only time I'm probably ever going to go I want it to be a special trip. I want it to be worth it. Okay.
Do you have satellite TV at home? You have Netflix, you have prime video? Do you pay for extra services on your cell phone? Do you have no family, get togethers weekends, go out? Chill, buy things do things? Do you have things around your home that you spend money on that you don't need? Right? Maybe you could sell on Kijiji get rid of things right? downsize a little bit. Maybe you don't need to be living in the home that you're living in. Maybe you don't need to be driving such a fancy car. Right?
There are so many ways that we can.
Sorry, there are so many ways that we can cut back and put all that extra money into
paying off things. I remember one of the brothers here during Ramadan last year.
He was performing Eric decaf. And he sat down one day and he wrote down all the extra expenses on
not luxuries, but on comforts or extras. Okay, things like
you know, satellite TV, but paying for all these extra channels. Some you may never watch. So he wrote down the difference. Okay, we'll keep satellite TV, right? But only the basic amount. We'll just get what we need. And we can downsize our internet package. Okay, we can get rid of the Netflix we can, you know, certain things that he looked at, he's like, I can cut back on this. I can save on that. He goes I buy He's like, you know, when I go to work and on the way back, buy a coffee on the way there coffee on the way back every day. He's like he factored it in. And he saw how much he could save every month. And he was like some kind of law. Look at this. He goes, if I cut back on
all of these things, I can save X amount of dollars in the thousands of dollars. And he was like, Look, I can donate this mustard to this this money to the mustard. And that's exactly what he did. He donated that extra amount to the mustard. And hundred. I was like, That's amazing. That's absolutely amazing. But you're doing that and it didn't really take away from his quality of life. just didn't have his coffee that he would buy at the store on the way to work. But he would make a coffee at home put in a mug and drive to work drinking his coffee he made at home. Right? So some of these ways that we have to make it easy for us to afford to go for hedge. Okay, that was a side
track thing on hatch.
sent some questions. Okay. Let me check that there's an unconsidered inflation on the system questions. Again. Be specific, what time the terms? Yeah. So be specific. Okay. put things into your marriage contract. Include, you know, get a lawyer, get a lawyer who's going to help you with your marriage contract or get get someone who's really good with contracts at writing contracts and make sure you're specific with certain things and ask people ask advice before you agree to things.
Okay, apparently there's some questions here. Let me just get to this. Alrighty, Mashallah The only person who was using the question thing, and then gives an engagement ring and considers it a part of the beginning of the month before a contract is signed, is the men allowed to ask for the ring back, if they don't sign the contract?
You gave it as a gift.
You did not put any conditions to it.
It was given as a gift. So technically, if you pick me up from the airport,
and as we're driving, you stop and buy me a donut.
Okay, or you buy me two donuts from Tim Hortons. And we continue to drive to our destination. And as we're driving to the destination you and I get into an argument and you're really upset with me. And we arrive there at our destination and you say just get out of my car. And I take the doughnut. I'm like, I'm taking
The donut like no, you're not allowed to take the donut like but you bought it for me.
I don't care if I bought it for you. I don't want you to have it now. Sorry, you already bought it for me. You gave it to me, it belongs to me. You can't take something back. So if you give something to someone as a gift, don't expect it back. Consider that sadaqa
it's gone. It's gone from a loss of hanway to Allah, you did something good. You could ask though, you could ask you could request and say look, I was considering that this would be and that's why sometimes some cultures do certain things that are not specifically from the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam which which complicate things. It's complicated because something was done that's not part of the Shetty. Then we ask a question about how we can Shetty ifI or make this thing permissible. Well, it wasn't done permissible in the first place. Why is it being done or it was done permissible, but it wasn't done in the way that Islam wanted it to be done. If you are
considering that as the mob, but you didn't even discuss the mob yet, then you can't expect it to be part of the model because she didn't agree to that as a model yet. She agreed to it as a gift. So it's a gift. Don't take my donut away. My donut, especially if it's a Canadian Maple doughnut, you better not mess with my doughnuts, and another Canadian Maple doughnut in a long time. It was my favorite donuts. I'm disappointed now. On a donut.
Let's go to the other question.
Next question is what are a couple important things you advise us to look for when looking for a spouse a long walk about lavaca you're going to go to not last Sunday's class but the Sunday before that two Sundays ago. Watch the video. Watch the
the central fit class that we did. We spoke about choosing the right spouse. Okay, believe it was two weeks ago. If not then it was three weeks ago. Okay. So go to that and you will see what's mentioned there and we went into detail okay. So go and look at that inshallah tada and you will find that there it's recorded. It's done, it's saved. You'll find it there inshallah. Does that. Come on fader Shetty. Fi Yes. Trying to shed fi something that wasn't already a fight in the first place.
What's that term you guys use now? nikka phi Nika phi. I'm gonna Nika phi my marriage. You guys come up with the host, Bill goof type of words of the law. Okay. I don't see any other any other questions. So we'll wrap it up inshallah, so I can start my weekend does come a little heightened for attending. Seems like marriage is the hot topic, everyone. Oh, hello, fi and everyone everyone tunes in for the marriage topics right? botica low FICO will speak to you all soon and see you soon in sha Allah. Tomorrow, we go into red zone here in the Halton Region but our mustard still stays open for five daily prayers as we were doing so. You know, that's just something I wanted to point
put out there for everyone who's wondering, we still need to maintain social distancing and so on. And we'll continue as we were inshallah, based on the guidelines of the province is optimal. Okay, then we'll settle on something more about Econet abena Mohammed
Salim was sent mRNA Camorra to LA he or bar cat