Friday Night Etiquettes Class – February 5, 2021

Daood Butt


Channel: Daood Butt

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The speakers discuss the importance of shaking hands in the Arab culture, as it is a way to show respect and value. They also talk about the responsibility of people to fix their beards and avoid discomfort, the importance of understanding culture and being connected with one another, and the use of shaking hands in publicity. They stress the need for serious parenting and learning to be safe in public, and the importance of respect and respect for people, particularly children. The speakers also discuss the use of hugs and kiss on the cheek, the importance of respect for parents, and the use of negative language in publicity.

AI Generated Transcript ©

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Bismillah al Rahman al Rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen

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wa salatu wa he was Salam Ala Moana be healed Karim Ali a fall of salatu wa automata. Slim bisha Holy sodbury way acidity Emily wahoo. Lockwood attend Millie's any of Gabor Kohli. My brothers and my sisters son, Mr Alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

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Tonight is Friday, the fifth of February 2021. And we are here together

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to learn a little bit about the etiquettes that we find within the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam, I was actually going to turn that intro into something a little bit funnier. When I said, and we're here, we're gathered here today

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and turn it into like a wedding gathering. But I don't really like attending weddings so much. So

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I just stay away from that hamdulillah.

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So we'll give it a minute in sha Allah for people to log in.

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And in the meantime, I guess what I'll do is I'll say, we don't have too too much to cover for today, we're going to be finishing up this chapter as well. So if anyone has any questions that they want to ask, then we'll do that at the end of the class. It can be questions about anything doesn't have to be about the topic specifically. And we'll be starting a new chapter from next Friday in sha Allah Tada. So if you do have any questions, feel free to type those out or keep them ready wouldn't say type them out just yet. But keep them ready in sha Allah for when you do need to have them typed out sha Allah Tad.

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So we were going through the chapter of meeting or greeting someone, right greeting someone. And

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the next chapter is basically Xiao, which is visiting, right, what's important in visiting someone, I don't know, if I'm going to start that that chapter right away from next week, I might actually go to another chapter just for the sake of it, just to switch it up a little bit. So that we're not exhausting our minds and our you know, learning in one area, so we can sort of learn about different things so that we can apply different things in our lives and not just focus on, you know, this one path away, it is good to to focus on one sort of thing and transition slowly into something else. But I do find that because of COVID and the way things have been going for the last year with this

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pandemic, a lot of people are a little bit tired. And, you know, their brains are stagnant. And even with with regards to our physical capacity, in terms of doing things, we are a little bit stagnant as well, we're not really, you know, as active as we were. And so kind of how I feel that as well, like when I when I get in my car and I drive somewhere, I feel like I was always I was always on the road always rushing from place to place to place. And I'm still going to a few places, but I feel as though

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the agility just isn't there anymore, right? It's not like it used to be and so it's important for us to keep ourselves moving and motivated always in sha Allah Allah. So I figured the way that I could do that is sort of maybe switching it up a little bit. We'll see how it goes.

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And then we can always come back to you know, two chapters, we can jump around from chapter to chapter inshallah. Today, we're going to start with a step above Adam. So we're gonna look at

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how can I word this?

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You know, so hello, when you read it in Arabic. Again, your mind thinks one way but then when you say it in English, you gotta sort of recalibrate the sentence as you move on inshallah.

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Today, we're looking at

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giving senem and shaking hands so we finished that, um, but, but shaking hands, and we were talking about shaking hands last week. So when you do shake someone's hand,

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should you just shake someone's hand and end it? You know, should you reach your hand out first and then pull your hand back first? Or should you be the last one to do that? And so from the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in a nutshell and I'm just going to put this all together in sha Allah Taylor is that we are to greet someone, right? Give them the senem and we spoke about the handshake last week. But when we do shake hands and again this is post COVID. Right when we are finally able to do this, when we are going to be shaking hands in sha Allah to Allah sometime very, very soon.

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And, you know, you you you put your hand in your palm in the palm of another person. And you say said Mr. Lee come over to Lahore but our cattle it's from the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in the practice of this, how little do you allow them to not retract your hand immediately, right. And so you should try and keep your hand there as long as you can to

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it to complete that sort of solemn and that greeting. And it is a way

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in the Arab culture to show love to show care to show honor to show respect. Now, I know that in some cultures, this is very strange.

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There are some cultures that shaking the hand is like shake the hand and move off, right, like Shake it, shake, shake my hand and back off, like, don't hold on to my hand. And there are some cultures where they really go the distance to try and do as we see, in this hadith of unassuming Malik or the Allahu Ahad where he says that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam,

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when he greeted someone, right, and,

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and shook his hand, he would not retract his hand until the person he was shaking hands with would pull their hand back. Right, he would not retract his hand until the person who he was shaking hands with had pulled their hand back as in head, like, you just feel that feeling of them, okay, hold us like this is enough now, right. And I could share experiences of you know, my travels, I've been to some places and met some people and I have some close friends, very close friends, especially in Africa, who when you shake their hand, they will not let your hand go. And sometimes you want to pull your hand away, because you're just tired of them holding onto your hand. And it's just weird,

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right? Eventually, it just feels a little bit weird. But for them, this is this is their way of showing honor and respect to you. Until they feel that you really don't want to. So you might internalize that feeling that you know, us enough is enough, like I'm done, I don't want to shake your hand anymore. You know, I don't want to be holding hands with you, I want to like, you know, fix my head or scratch an itch or something like that to fix my beard, right? or something of that sort. But somehow Allah, they're just holding on to your hand.

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But we need to always understand what the other person is feeling. Now, that doesn't mean that that person,

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their feelings are more important than ours. But what it does mean is that we have a responsibility to look after how someone else feels, they have the responsibility of making sure that they're not making us feel uncomfortable as well.

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And so when we look at this

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the example that we take from the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is that you continue to hold the person's hand.

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So long as there's no mush up god, there's no, there's no hardship that you're putting them upon, or through or difficulty that they are feeling through it, or some sort of discomfort from shaking your hand. I know. And I've traveled a lot. And somehow I've met so many people in so many different places. And to be honest, they're so honored to to meet someone from Canada who's come to like their village, and it's just to them is like a local, it's amazing. And so with two hands, there'll be like holding your hand, and you know, it's hot, they'll be like, wiping the sweat off their face and rubbing it on your hand is like, oh, Mashallah, thanks for a little bit of your sweat, too, right?

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And then, you know, they'll be like scratching themselves and stuff laying on it, rubbing your hand. And all of that is coming back onto your head. Now.

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If we look at the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wasallam. This time, they didn't have tabs like we have, right? They didn't have free flowing water all the time, readily available for whenever they need to wash their hands like we do.

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And an interesting thing so Pamela, earlier today, I don't know how but it just popped up on my on my YouTube, you know, feed how it suggest things to you. And it was a video of a woman who's from Frankfurt, Germany, right, who married a Maasai men in Tanzania.

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And she'd been living in the village for nine years. So here is this, you know, white woman from Germany, Frankfurt, who's living in a tribal village in Tanzania married to a Maasai man.

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And I've actually listened to it right as

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Listen to that video, for the most part. And I found it really interesting. I found it really, really interesting how this woman, she's being asked about her experience. And it says though, it's like some revolutionary thing. And she's like, I feel that sometimes when people ask me this, it's kind of like, you know, people ask me really dumb questions that just don't make sense.

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And when you think of it, she's 100%, right? Like, why is it so strange for someone who comes from a so called first world country to go and live in a small village with people who their children are running around with no clothes on? They're just completely, you know, naked, right? These little children, little, little children, right. And this woman, she, at the end of the video, she actually started crying when she was questioned about how she feels about the people. And if she feels welcomed and stuff like that, she starts crying because she says, these are like some of the few people who still have like a natural sense of living.

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Like this is a woman who came from Germany, Frankfurt, right, such a famous place. It's like, the hub of Lufthansa airlines. Like it's like the hub of Germany, planes coming and going people from all over the world transiting through Frankfurt.

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And she chooses to go and live in this village. And really what we see in that, and I know I've sidetracked a lot, but I've sidetracked on purpose, to show you how

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we might not understand other people's cultures enough.

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Right. And I know that this is Black History Month. And I in no way shape or form have like tailored tonight's halaqa. In fact, I didn't even think of it while I was preparing that, you know, I would be talking about this.

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It's just important for us as Muslims, to understand the culture of other people that we are interacting with. So getting, you know, backtracking to what I was saying. I've been to places where people are just so honored to meet you. Like, you could go anywhere and do anything and travel to like, whatever country you want to whatever place you want to, but you chose to come to this village and to meet with us, and they're so happy, they don't want to let you go, they honestly don't want to let you go. And I remember when I was a student in Medina, you know, some of my classmates, in fact, some of my roommates as well, when we would be walking like to muster the Navy,

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you'd be holding hands, like men holding hands with another men walking into must to the Navy. It seems strange to us because it's not our culture, it's not something that we do. But is it permissible islamically Yes, as long as you're doing it for the sake of Allah subhanaw taala as long as you are doing it in a good, you know, weigh with good intentions, and you are not making the person that you are with uncomfortable. So with regards to holding hands when shaking, like we said, coming back to the Hadith, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, you know that you would hold on to the hand of the person you're shaking, until they retract their hand and let them so

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basically let that person be the first one to retract their hand. If someone feels uncomfortable, then retract your head. There's nothing wrong with that. Okay. And so

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as much as our topic is, is talking about shaking hands,

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you know, I want to take it in a different direction, where some cultures, it is important to be connected with one another in ways that the Western world that we see in the movies and the lives that we live in the countries in the lens that we're in, you know, sometimes take away from the human aspect of life.

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I remember countless times walking into mustard, and Louis, and my roommate would like be, he'd be holding my hand, or, you know, he would then just like, Dude, why don't we go over here and he would grab like my thumb or grab my index finger and be like, why don't we go, you know, let's let's go get a sandwich or something from there, and we would keep walking, and he would still be holding onto my finger. And in our society, that seems like strange, like, Oh my god, especially at a time that we've lived in. You know, for those of you that are roughly around my age, you know, growing up and even older than me,

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for a guy and a guy to be holding hands or a woman and a woman to be holding hands is like strange. For a guy and a girl to be holding hands. We'd say a stop for a while, you know, certainly not permissible as except in the case that you are married.

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But we even see people nowadays that are married husband and wife and

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They refuse to hold hands. Right? They refuse to, you know, just connect with one another. That's one thing I love about and I was telling my wife this the other day I said, I don't know what it is, but in South Africa, people express their love towards their spouse a lot and openly. Right. And some of you might know, a good friend of ours, Uncle Denise Cammisa, you know, he's always talking about love and loving your spouse and so on and so forth. But it's just the culture of the people in South Africa that they, they express their love to their spouse a lot, and that's part of the deen as well. And we're not talking about that in our topic today. But that's something that we learn

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from it that, you know, we bring together that we should constantly be looking at, you know, the importance of, of,

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you know, bringing human beings together, in whatever capacity we can that is permissible within the deen. Okay, that's absolutely important.

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We move on in sha Allah to Allah The next part that we'll look at is

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when greeting someone, should we stand up? Or should we sit down? Okay, when greeting someone, should we stand up? Or should we sit down and I see some, you know, comments or questions there. Let me just quickly glance at it.

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Yeah, I remember a teaching sounds good. Is it?

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Okay, yeah. So So how do I, you know, good. I was just making sure there aren't any questions that we're missing out on. So when when greeting someone giving them send them shaking their hand, and so on, should we stand up? Is it permissible to even stand up when greeting them? Now, there's a lot of discussion with regards to that. And so I'm going to basically bring it all together and try and be a little bit more concise, because

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if you look at the profits of the past, and their people, at their time, those nations, there were certain practices or certain things that were being done that are not from

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our city. So for example, if you look through the story of Prophet Yusuf Alayhi Sena, he mentioned at the beginning of the sutra and Allah subhana wa tada puts that in the corner. Yeah. Betty in Neeraj a to a hideout Ashura. kilka burwash, shamsul Kamara at home, Lisa GDN. Right. So use of Prophet Yusuf Alayhi. Salaam, he tells his father that I saw in my dream 11 stars, and the sun and the moon bowing down prostrating to me.

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And if you fast forward to the end of the surah.

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Fast forward to the end of the surah

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you will see that his dream comes true. And it's his brother's 11 Brothers, his mother and his father. And some of the scholars say the chumps represents the Father. And the coma represents the mother. And then there are some scholars who say that the chumps the son is actually the mother. And the moon is the Father. And there's a very interesting explanation about that. Right.

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And yeah, my wife keeps writing up there, you know, letting me know that my parents are watching humbler? Because I come alongside and said, I'm ready. Come

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now, I'm embarrassed. And so by my parents are going to continue the lecture, and I'm going to go

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under law. No. So

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what was I saying with regards to standing up? Yes, so we see that in the previous almost all lots of articles or even have shaker we even have Sam on here, all the way from Sydney, Australia, postman who sent as my kids call him hamdulillah so we got a lot of people on here um, the law that's good. So with regards to profit use of Allah His setup his story that gives us an example of some of the other prophets and how things were considered the norm and permitted within their shediac. Okay, the norm and permitted within the Shetty ha

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of their time. But for us, when Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam came with the Quran, our Shinya was given to us in a way that may be slightly different than that of the past, but that's okay. Because what happened in the past is completely different than what we are going through right now. Okay, so

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is it permissible now, to stand up when giving Selim to someone or someone comes in. So the scholars say that if someone is entering right out of respect, you can stay

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up. So if they're just arriving, right someone is arriving, you'll get up and say send them already come to them and bring them into your home, for example, you wouldn't just sit back and be like, the doors open come in, and they come in and you stay sitting down right now you get up, you'll go, you'll open the door, take their coats, you know, hang it up, and bring them some water and serve them and stuff like that they're your guests in your house. So from that angle, it is something that is permitted to do. However, what if you're just sitting down, like, let's say, you're just sitting in the masjid, or you're sitting on a bench in a park, right? And someone comes around and says a

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pseudonym, or they come to you? Do you have to stand up in order to greet them? Or if you see someone who's coming by, should you stand up? Now,

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it depends on who the person is, right? If the person is

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a politician of leader aneema, you know, a teacher something of that sort. First of all,

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is it a must to stand up islamically No,

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it is not a must. And it is not compulsory to stand up. So even if the person is above you in terms of like their level of authority, and status, and so on.

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And even still, Islam sort of came to level out those, you know, differences in class or in society.

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Even so, that person who may be or you may consider at a higher level of social status, or age, then you are islamically, it is not a must to stand up to give them Salah. Why? Because we see that in the son of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

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When he would go past the Sahaba, he would not expect them to stand up and give him salami, or to stand up and just stand there, out of respect. Now,

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if someone does it, someone does that, then they do it. But our Dean does not force it upon someone. And I remember when I was young, when we were studying. And this was a mistake. And I'll say it clearly, right? That we were taught, if the principal or your teacher shows up in their car they're pulling through. If you're playing basketball, and you're about to shoot, we'll just drop the ball and stand there. Like just wait until they go.

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I know, I know that there's tabia and training. And that's the one thing that I love, right? I love tarbiyah I love training, I love to learn about morals and etiquettes and values and stuff like that. But sometimes we go a bit too far. The reason why this shed Yeah, the reason why our Dean stops us from going too far, or from doing things that may be a little excessive, is because that eventually will become something else. First of all, the person will start to feel, oh, I'm some big shot, right? Secondly, you know, what happens is the amount of respect and level of respect that people give to that person gets elevated so high, that sometimes it can be brought to a level of

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shift, it can be brought to a level that is dangerous that people will honor that person more than they honor Allah subhanho wa Taala that they would miss a Salah right or miss the gemera in the masjid. And I know that this has happened, that they will miss the gym at the congregation in the masjid. Because there's someone in front of them their teacher or you know, the principal or something of that sort that is standing there having a conversation on their phone meeting with someone. And the students are too shy, too scared to walk away and go and join the prayer.

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So that shows you there's a problem. Because if there was genuine concern to train and to raise these children or you know, these students to be fearing of a loss of Hannah Montana, and to put the dean in front of them as the most important thing, you would never let them stand there to miss out on a prayer.

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You would tell them, hey, it's time for Salah go, why are you just standing there go, right. And this is why Islam teaches us how to be normal and free with one another. And not only Islam, but the way of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

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He was someone that even the children can come and approach and feel comfortable in front of. Right? They would feel comfortable with the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam children could come and they he might even be playing praying, and they're playing and they will go on his back or they will run you know, near him and play around him and stuff like that, you know, come to him talk to him. He was such a welcoming type of person that we see there's a difference in the way

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That it is taught nowadays,

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it's taught with force. And it's taught with a different mentality, the mentality of, I'm better than you, you have to respect me. In fact, adults, if we really want to make children melt in our hands, right? If we really want to, you know, be at a level where children will feel free and open to communicate with us, then Humble yourself and bring yourself down to their level. Right, like, chill with them, talk to them. Now I know, it's very different to

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there is a difference. And we are going to differentiate, there is a difference between parents and parenting their own children, and adults and dealing with children in the society that they live in. Those are two different things. A parent needs to humble themselves with their children and make them feel happy and free, and they can jump on them and play with them and so on and so forth. But when it's time to be serious, there has to be a way for those children to know that it's time to be serious, right? It's time for God to earn now it's time for this like, okay, we can play after and we played before, but now we're going to be serious. Okay? And so it's important for us to do that.

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So all the children that are watching, you know, if your parents don't play with you, then

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let me know and I'll stop giving them candies on Friday nights. When we go back to the mustard I'll only give the candies to the children and not to any adults. We won't have any Chai no samosa has no chit chat. No, nothing will just you know, come in, give candy and chocolate to all the children and none of the parents get anything fun.

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Those were the days right so Pamela

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it's been about a year almost exactly a year since we stopped our programs in the masjid. May Allah make it easy for us to go back and to have the programs again sometimes to me.

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So, unless you've been Malik or the Allahu Anh says,

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there was no person more beloved to the Sahaba of the Allahu anhu then the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. What can we either Oh,

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well, can we either Oh, who? And when they would see the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, they would not stand up in his presence, as he's going by, for example. Okay.

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They would continue on doing with doing what they were doing. And that was not something that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam disliked. Okay.

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Mashallah jasson you really want those some also say,

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you know, the brothers always used to save.

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They used to get a few meats. So Moses and the rest were all like vegetables and used to save the meats and Moses for me.

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So how a lot and you know what I would do, I would feel really bad that I'm getting these meats and Moe says, and so every single week, I would give them away to someone else. And every single Friday, the brothers would save those meats and most hasn't given to me. And I'd say jack, hello, Hayden. Now lager Ward, you will have the love, you know, I'd come to them. Where's my symbols as they come and give me my soul as a turnaround and I'd give them to someone else. Mainly because

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I don't think eating that many symbols is healthy for us. Just saying just putting it out there. Right? And I know some of you like once a week isn't going to hurt. But

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I work at the masjid. So it's not just one symbol. So we it's a few symbols a day. Make it easy. All right, let's move on and chat a lot of data.

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I'm just trying to remember make sure I didn't miss out on anything. So we're talking about teachers, parents, what about parents children stand up when they see their parents we'll come to that inshallah. Okay?

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Should a person

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now we see in some cultures that when you give sent them, you also will either hug that person right? So it's the DC culture. It's like the Santa Monica. Right three times. I want to come.

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Right? So I want to go

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makes you dizzy right now imagine being in my shoes on the David eat. Right? When everyone comes to give you some snacks I want to go.

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I want to go Eagleburger. A couple of low minimum income going from side to side makes you dizzy. So that's why for the last two years, almost three years now, I've put a policy in place that I let the people know at the end of my chutzpah please come and shake my hand and give them and say read mobarak but no hugs. And I do that for two reasons. One, because it makes me super dizzy. Right. And secondly, because

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I was traveling a lot

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And my immune system I can't take being so close to so many people. Right? And my wife will be like, yeah, it's just because you're germaphobe. Right? But no, so Pamela is just when you too close to too many people, it's just not not healthy, right? So shake your hand humbler, keep the germs there, then go and wash your hands and humbler everything's good, right.

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And again, we have to work hulan Allah subhanho wa Taala. So, in some cultures, there's the hug. In other cultures, there's the handshake, and then there's the kiss on the cheek. Right? And I'm not talking about the kiss on the cheek like I grew up in Montreal and Quebec, where every single person who's French when they meet, they go and they kiss each other on the cheek. No, we're talking about with the brothers For example, when I was a student in Medina, in Saudi, this is normal. You know, you'll see someone and you don't kiss that you don't literally put your lips on them. But it's if I had one of my children here, I'd like to show you, you basically just go like this, right? So

00:30:58--> 00:31:35

they're their faces here and you will put your cheek on their cheek. Right? So you're not actually kissing them. You're putting your cheek on their cheek and then you're kissing the air. You're like, somebody's gonna give Halak Shahada, but you've been lucky. A cave Hello? Oh, well, isn't that over and over? right and then there's also the, you know, the Sonic, give Halak Shahada, but you've been? Well look, wait, right? And if you do 12 times, it's like, oh, you are super honored. Right? You're super honored now? Is this from the sun? Right? Is this from the sun?

00:31:36--> 00:32:14

No, it's not from the sun of the prophets on the longer edit usnm to do this, these are things that are cultural, that are permitted, that show love for each other, right? And remember, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, shall I teach you about something that if you do it, it will bring love in between you? After Salama Bina come spread senem between you, right? So it's the sentiment that islamically will spread that love will be a deeper kind of love a more spiritual love. that removes hatred, it removes envy, it removes jealousy removes that stuff from the hearts. But

00:32:16--> 00:32:18

yes, and you just reminded me of another one.

00:32:19--> 00:32:43

The cultural practice of hugging, whether it's one hug, shake the hand of one hug or three hugs or two hugs, or kiss on the cheek, or even the, you know, putting the nose together like the Bedouins. I remember when I'd meet some Bedouins a very first time, it was the most awkward thing I thought this man was coming in to kiss me. And all he was doing was rubbing his nose against mine. So it was like, you know someone else with it.

00:32:45--> 00:32:54

Try and do a mock nose or something? I don't know, basically. So they come in, they put their noses against your nose and they'll just rub your nose and say crna come How are you everything? Okay, so

00:32:55--> 00:32:59

I was like, shocked. I turned to my friend. I was like,

00:33:00--> 00:33:10

What was that? And he's like, this is part of the culture. It's okay. They touch the noses. Okay, a little too close for my comfort. Okay, this is going a little too far.

00:33:13--> 00:33:17

For those of you that want to ask questions, just hold off on the questions is not allowed to add.

00:33:18--> 00:33:48

So yeah, there's there's lots of things this the Sudanese for example, Santa Monica, right, though, hit each other. So at the same time, they'll be hitting each other on the shoulder, and then, you know, greet each other, which is part of the culture. Is that permissible? islamically? Yes, it's permissible. Is it part of the deen and part of the Sunnah? No, it's not so kissing, you know, the cheek or putting your face there and kissing or even kissing the hand which I want to come to in a bit in sha Allah. Is that from the dean? No.

00:33:49--> 00:33:49

And it

00:33:50--> 00:34:05

is not permissible if it's done for any other reason. But if it's done, for the sake of the deen to bring people closer together, then that can be something that is permissible. Okay.

00:34:07--> 00:34:13

A man as the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, when a person meets his brother,

00:34:18--> 00:34:25

or friend, okay, so a man asked the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, when a person meets his brother or friend.

00:34:26--> 00:34:36

Should he bow to him? Should he bow down? Okay. And he said, some along with us and them know. The men then asked

00:34:38--> 00:34:42

whether he should embrace or kiss him.

00:34:43--> 00:34:48

And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam replied, No.

00:34:50--> 00:34:59

And he asked whether he should hold his hand and shake it, and the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam replied yes in sha Allah.

00:35:00--> 00:35:06

So what did we learn here? bowing down is not permissible. Okay.

00:35:07--> 00:35:45

Giving a kiss on the cheek is something that should not be done. Okay. Now, what did we say before we said, You're not kissing the cheek? You're like kissing the air you're doing, you're putting your cheeks together, but you're basically kissing in that direction. They're kissing in that direction, right? It's just like, a little thing that's done. Is that is that something that can be permissible? That's not specifically kissing. Okay? You're not like kissing the cheek or kissing the head of the person, like you meet your friend and you just think, Oh, come on, man. That's something that is done in cultures out of respect. Okay?

00:35:47--> 00:36:05

Should it become the norm? No. And this is an example of what the prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam is showing us that the norm is that you shake a person's hand. You don't embrace them, you don't kiss them, you don't bow down to them, okay? And you don't make such stuff as well to them.

00:36:09--> 00:36:10

Now, what about though,

00:36:11--> 00:36:59

when it comes to parents, like if you meet your parents, or your parents meet you? That's where the scholars say that there are times when the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam did kiss, and he would kiss his relatives, his children, his grandchildren, his spouse, right? So the time when an actual kiss was done in greeting, was done by the prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam. If the people were their relatives, his relatives, if they weren't, even Abu Bakar of the long run, you know, he would, he would give a kiss to his daughter, Tasha, I want to love her and her. So in that case, it is something that is permitted within the deen. Okay. Another point of benefit here is

00:37:00--> 00:37:37

kissing the hand. Okay, not kissing the cheek. But what about kissing the hand? And I think someone put it up there Malaysian culture is to kiss elders hand when we meet them. Yes, I know. In fact, I say this all the time. I think the Malaysians and the Indonesians have the best. The best example of betrayal validation that I've seen anywhere on the face of this earth, in terms of the countries that I've traveled to, and the continents that I've been to. So when it comes to bewailing, Dane, I think the Malaysians and the Indonesians, but Malaysians even more because I love the Malaysians more because I live there and our daughters were born there. But I love the Indonesians as well. You

00:37:37--> 00:37:38

know, very similar culture

00:37:40--> 00:37:44

is not something that is permitted. So tequila yet.

00:37:45--> 00:38:05

There are some scholars that say that this is something that is permissible, if it is done for the sake of the deen and not for the sake of dunya. Not for any other purpose. So for example, you meet someone who's older than you, and out of respect, in that culture, when you shake their hand, you kiss their hand.

00:38:07--> 00:38:34

And you're doing out of respect and for no other reason that's doing it for the dean, because your dean teaches you to respect others and respect your elders. But if you meet that person, and you're like, Oh, this person is the CEO of this company. And if I'm nice to them, then they will give me a job or I will get that, you know, I'll benefit from it by, you know, sealing a deal and getting this business transaction. And you do that for that purpose, then it's not permissible.

00:38:35--> 00:38:37

Okay, then it's not permissible.

00:38:41--> 00:39:12

So, like I said, the scholars differ with regards to that. And then some of the scholars actually say that no, kissing the hand is completely forbidden and not permissible, because it is considered like a minor bowing are a minor type of such to where you are, you know, such that is to put your head on the ground, okay? But when you take someone's hand, what they do is they kiss the hand, right? They'll kiss then, and then sometimes they will put their head on it. And this is where

00:39:13--> 00:39:25

I have an issue with that. And I had an issue with it. When I was in Malaysia, I used to teach the students there and say, Look, if you're going to kiss the hand, kiss the hand, but don't you don't need to put your head to it. Okay, just kiss the hand.

00:39:26--> 00:39:42

Is that something that's wrong to do to put your head down? Well, like I said, some of the scholars consider it like making such that bowing down. And you have to, you know, when you bow down, you're putting your head down, and we only do that to Allah subhanho wa Taala.

00:39:44--> 00:39:45


00:39:46--> 00:39:47

kissing the hand

00:39:48--> 00:39:59

and then putting your head on it. Those are two completely different things. We ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to make it easy for us to learn from some of these cultures, but to make sure that we don't do it

00:40:00--> 00:40:14

Anything that is wrong within our Deen I found that to be amazing. And we actually still do it with our children till today. Right? They kiss my hand every single night before going to sleep hamdulillah Mashallah to Latika la right?

00:40:17--> 00:40:50

Are you bowing down while kissing the head? It's possible, it's very possible. And that's why brother Chavez, some of the scholars do not allow the kissing of the hand, either. Right? I think you came in, right when we were talking about that. So, yes, the kissing of the hand is something that some of the scholars say is not permissible at all, then there are some that say it's permissible, but just make sure that you're not going to, you know, bow down to it or make such that it's not just bowing down. It's, it's that element of putting your head to something else. Right.

00:40:51--> 00:41:04

And then there are some who, as we mentioned, said, that is permissible, if it's done for the dean, or for the purpose of something, you know, linked to the Sharia, but it's not permissible if it's linked to the dunya. Okay.

00:41:05--> 00:41:07

So that's with regards to that. Now.

00:41:08--> 00:41:23

Respecting parents is absolutely important, okay. And we need to make sure that we show that respect in ways that is permissible within Islam. The last part that we will take in sha Allah to Allah is

00:41:24--> 00:41:27

the impermissibility. In fact,

00:41:29--> 00:41:30

it is hard

00:41:32--> 00:42:17

to make such the end to bow down to anyone other than Allah subhanho wa Taala. And we took this hadith already, right? We looked at the Hadith where the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was asked, Can I bow down to someone to my friend, my friend when I greet them, you know, and I'm going to do this for the sake of example, only, okay, for the sake of example, only you meet someone and you go like this. The Muslim should never go like this, even if they're just, you know, tossing their head down. In fact, we should have ourselves upright, and a set M or LA calm. Remember, the scent M is verbal. And we said, if a person is completely unable to verbalize their scent, M, then

00:42:17--> 00:42:25

they can do an E shadow with their hand. Right? They can symbolize that scent m with their hand, okay?

00:42:28--> 00:42:45

The Japanese greeting. So, I was coming to that actually, right here was where I was going to talk about karate, right? And bowing down. Is that something that is permissible? No, it's not permissible. Okay, it is not permissible. And I know people will say, but it's just a greeting.

00:42:46--> 00:42:56

Well, bowing down during the time of Prophet use of Allah, his pseudonym, was not it was it was done at the time of greeting as well. But it was done

00:42:57--> 00:42:58

to show thanks.

00:43:00--> 00:43:29

So when his family came, and they greeted, it was the norm in Egypt at the time, for people who came from abroad that were meeting, you know, the nobles for them to bow down and prostrate, right? To the the nobles or to the ministers and so on, that they were meeting and greeting. So we look at that we say, Okay, well, now, the Japanese style is to greet people as well.

00:43:30--> 00:43:59

But we have to do an act that we don't do for anyone. We keep ourselves upright, except for Allah. We bow down for a lot. we humble ourselves for Allah. Yes, we humble ourselves generally, in terms of interacting with people and you know, talking to people and showing an example of the Sunnah, and so on and so forth. But we are people of confidence, and we are people who never let ourselves down and never let our guard down. Okay? We're not talking about being attacked.

00:44:00--> 00:44:17

But bowing down that element of it, and making such that is solely for Allah subhanho wa Taala. And this is one thing that I like about our children's karate teacher. Now, last week, I had a, you know, increase them in knowledge.

00:44:19--> 00:44:36

One of the things that that she does, they're originally from Bosnia, so they know the Muslim children are not going to bow down. Now, considering they're teaching karate, it's part of karate. And again, some Muslims will say, we're just doing it for the sake of the karate, right? It's nothing, nothing big there.

00:44:39--> 00:44:39


00:44:41--> 00:44:47

with the Muslim students, though, she does not begin or end the class with bowing down.

00:44:49--> 00:44:59

Because she knows that they're Muslim, and this is not something that the Muslims do. And she herself is Muslim. And so Al Hamdulillah, you know, to be able to do things like that and you

00:45:00--> 00:45:25

It seems like such a small insignificant thing. But for children who are, you know, either born and raised or being raised here in North America and Canada in particular, when we as adults, teach them their Deen and we say you're not allowed to do this. And then they are in that situation all by themselves. Their parents are not there, no one is there to clarify, no one is there to stand up for them and say, No, you know, they're not going to do this, because of the Islamic belief that they have, and so on.

00:45:27--> 00:45:56

They get really shy, and sometimes intimidated by that situation. And they don't know how to deal with it. And so we need to be patient with our youth as well, like teach them, but we as adults have to go the distance to talk to the people that they are interacting with to let them know and educate them, that this is how Muslims are. Right? This is what Muslims do. And these are the things that Muslims don't do and this is why they don't do it. Okay.

00:46:08--> 00:46:12

Okay, so, Shabazz in court.

00:46:14--> 00:46:53

This is this is why we need to continue to educate people, okay, we need to continue to educate people. There's other issues as well, you go to court, and the Muslim says, I'm not taking an oath and swearing on the Bible, I'll swear by the Quran, even that is not permissible. But a lot of Muslims go and they do that, right. We don't take an oath, by the Quran, we take an oath by Allah. So there is a lot of a lot of work to be done. Look, we live in North America, we live in a country that is not majority Muslim. The things and this is why I like teaching these things, right? Because as Muslims, we could just live our lives and be like, okay, pray fast payers account and stuff like

00:46:53--> 00:47:20

that. And hamdulillah everything's hunky dory. No, we got to go a step further. We need to put ourselves in uncomfortable situations in order for us to be able to spread the deen a little bit. You have to you have to be uncomfortable. You have to come out of your element, you know, people who are the greatest CEOs of multi million multi billion dollar corporations nowadays, you know, multi million dollars, you know, they

00:47:21--> 00:48:04

they stepped out of their comfort zone in order to achieve what they wanted to achieve. We, as Muslims need to do the same. We need to step out of our comfort zones why the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam taught us but Islam or horiba was ruled over Riba Islam began is something that was strange, and it will return to something that is strange, football ballyhoura that, right? So it's an honor for us to be able to do this within our Deen and to live outside of the box, right to live in a way that we step out of our comfort zones, a little bit here and there whenever we can.

00:48:06--> 00:48:09

The last thing that I wanted to mention with regards to this topic was

00:48:12--> 00:48:17

actually there were two things but I need to plug one of my devices in give me give me 10 seconds.

00:48:21--> 00:48:22


00:48:23--> 00:48:28

the second The last thing that I wanted to bring up and I already have talked about it.

00:48:29--> 00:48:49

When it comes to making such I said we only make such a to Allah and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam teaches us up codable Maria Kunal Abdu, l RP, the closest that one of us will be to our Lord to Allah is when we are in such de, okay, when we are in such de

00:48:51--> 00:48:52

Forgive me for the

00:48:53--> 00:48:55

noise and sorry.

00:48:59--> 00:49:17

So the closest we are to Allah is when we're in such that what are you doing in such that you are bowing down and putting your head prostrating, putting your head to the ground, the most honored part of the body is coming down to the ground, right? For who? For none other than a loss of paneling to add. But on that note, there are some cultures.

00:49:18--> 00:49:32

Very sad to say this, there are some cultures where the husband will force his wife, especially if they have an argument. And she's begging for his forgiveness, right?

00:49:34--> 00:49:39

Where the husband will say, you know, kiss my feet, or bow down to me.

00:49:41--> 00:49:53

And I'm not saying this because it is rare. I'm saying this because it is common. Like I said, there are some cultures hint hint, wink wink if it's your culture, you know what I'm talking about.

00:49:54--> 00:49:59

That will humiliate or the husband sometimes and we're talking about abusive husbands

00:50:00--> 00:50:08

Okay, I'm not talking about the norm in the culture known saying abusive husbands. What they will do is they will force their wife to kiss their feet.

00:50:09--> 00:50:54

What do they have to do to kiss their feet they need to get down on the ground on all fours right get down on their hands and knees and put their face to the ground and kiss the feet of their husband while area to Billa fear Allah subhanho wa Taala it tequila Raja, whichever man is doing this, whoever is expecting someone else to do this fear of loss of handle with Allah that is not part of our Deen and you are forcing your your spouse to do something that is completely completely against our Deen. Yes, people will say but isn't there a hadith that if allow us if Allah was to make, but he didn't? So don't make the deen your deen. Don't think that you're in control of

00:50:54--> 00:51:17

creating the rules of how we're supposed to live as Muslims within the deen of Islam. And that is the end of the chapter that we were covering. We'll open it up for some questions and chat along with Tatiana. And I see that my good friend in the US just came on as well. Hello. Nice to have you. We also have Andrew collection from Nigeria Abuja.

00:51:19--> 00:51:24

Man I forgot some I forgot the words, I forgot the phrases that I learned.

00:51:29--> 00:51:38

I'll have to go back I have them written down some had a lot higher. So we'll open up for some questions. If anyone has any questions, feel free to ask and challah.

00:51:46--> 00:52:08

Okay, is there a difference in standing for sentiment standing for respect to welcome without Sena? Like I said, like if you're welcoming someone that is something that you know, could be done. Because you're welcoming this person into your home, however, we looked at the difference between someone coming in you're welcoming someone as opposed to

00:52:09--> 00:52:15

the other example, which was, someone is just walking by you. You're sitting down, should you get up? Okay.

00:52:21--> 00:52:29

I see some questions typed in there. Let me just see if there's any. Okay, that's not a question. That's a request to go live.

00:52:38--> 00:52:46

So here's a question, do we get any reward if we stand out of respect for parents because respecting and I can see the rest of it?

00:52:49--> 00:52:59

Because respecting parents is rewarding. Okay, so do we get any reward? So look, whatever you do out of respect for your parents, as long as you're doing it?

00:53:01--> 00:53:02

How do we get rid of that?

00:53:18--> 00:53:19

Okay, that's weird.

00:53:21--> 00:53:23

No, that's all okay.

00:53:24--> 00:53:46

So, as long as you're not doing anything that is not Islamic, like we said, and also, you know, when your parents come in, you stand up, remember the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, when, for example, Fati model the Allahu anhu would come in, that's his daughter, he would get up and you know, he would make space she would get up and bring him earlier the alarm as well. Right, they would do to him what he would do to them.

00:53:47--> 00:54:12

So, you know, he would enter their home and they would get up and they would bring him and seat him where they were seated right in their spots. So that is something that is permissible to do a lie about IQ, or some lazy caliphate. It's such an honor to have you on all the way from Sydney, Australia. How's COVID down there? I hope that you guys are doing well. And I really, really hope to see you sometime soon.

00:54:19--> 00:54:28

Okay, someone's asking this question. How do we implement the verse in the Quran where Allah subhana wa tada says, what the love Medina has really mean.

00:54:29--> 00:54:32

So how do we show mercy to our parents?

00:54:35--> 00:54:39

There's no cookie cutter way. Okay.

00:54:40--> 00:54:44

You have to do your best and

00:54:45--> 00:55:00

continue to try to do your best always try to do your best right? Allah subhana wa tada gives us examples in the Quran as well as in the Sunnah fanatical lahoma often right Don't show your frustrations with them when they ask you to do something. Even though you might be from

00:55:00--> 00:55:19

Frustrated, don't show it. You know, basically serve them, look after them, take care of them, do the things that they like, even though you might not like doing it. Or you might feel like it takes your time or you don't have the time to do it, but find the time and make the time and so on and so forth. Man last time we try to make it easy. I mean,

00:55:22--> 00:55:26

what about not giving your back to the elders when walking? Okay.

00:55:28--> 00:55:36

I see some people do this in the mustard when they come in and give me some em, they will walk away from me backwards. And I tell them stop,

00:55:37--> 00:55:41

turn around and walk properly. Okay.

00:55:43--> 00:55:52

I explained this, when we were talking about standing up for others, right? That as believers, we do not.

00:55:54--> 00:55:55

We do not

00:55:57--> 00:56:44

go to distances in doing things that is outside of the Shetty. Because then we fall into areas that are either unknown or gray. You know, the motor shall be hot areas where it could lead to excessiveness in whatever is being done. So if you're going to be doing something that could lead to you or to other people doing something that's against the deen, then don't do it. Okay, did the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam want people to walk away from him backwards? No. No, he wanted people to be normal to feel free to do what's right and go and be right. Because we worship Allah. We don't worship human beings. And so showing respect has its limits as well. Right? It has its

00:56:44--> 00:56:52

limits. And that's the beauty of our shediac our Deen Islam comes to teach us those limits and limitations. Okay.

00:57:01--> 00:57:11

My sister in law learned the sixth part of faith in Pakistan, and it was memorized, I did not in Canada, I ponder the significance, okay, so

00:57:12--> 00:57:14

the six colors

00:57:15--> 00:57:20

is something that is part of the Indian Pakistani culture.

00:57:22--> 00:57:51

It is from the teachings of, you know, the traditional teachings, basically giving children a foundation of what they need to know in order to just protect their Deen and their faith in the world that they're living in. One of the problems with that, though, is that children are taught to memorize it, and they're not taught the meaning of it, they have no idea what it means. And so they just sit there and go, Oh, I can't even can't even

00:57:53--> 00:57:53

and then

00:57:55--> 00:58:22

we actually used to do this as kids. And I don't like doing it because it brings back bad memories actually. Not not from us doing it, but bad memories from dealing with, with imams who thought that this was the way forward and the only way to live and to be protected from you know, the harms that are out there is to just memorize it and move on. And somehow the law you know, that's not the way and I think we're reaching stages in our lives and realize that that isn't the way forward right.

00:58:25--> 00:58:31

Alright, so I think that's it for questions. I don't see any more questions up there. It's been an hour it's nine o'clock.

00:58:33--> 00:58:40

So two more long days ahead of us inshallah. I know for you You're like but Tomorrow's the weekend. Tomorrow is a busy day for me.

00:58:42--> 00:59:21

So we'll see you next week in sha Allah to Allah Jazakallah level halen for, you know, taking some time out and and, you know, being here throughout the class. We'll see you on Sunday night, Sunday night, we have our essential thick class that's at 8pm as well. And we're going to be starting a new chapter on Sunday. So I hope to see you there. And please do remember to make dua for the community and for your community members, and for your parents and your loved ones. And all those that are going through hardship and difficulty or colloquium or some of Lahore send them all about accounting Amina Mohammed

00:59:22--> 00:59:28

Salim Subhana Allah Hello the huntik shadow Illa Illa Illa antenna stouffville okay when it

00:59:29--> 00:59:33

was sent Mr. alikum or metal law here or borrow capital