Channel: Assim Al-Hakeem
The Peers that Pressure to Misery – Assim Al Hakeem – MBH Summit 2016
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I was told to speak about peers,
and how they influence us.
as humans, we are social, by nature, a lie created us, that we have to mix with others, we have to get acquainted, and to know one another. This is how Allah created us. And it is a form of punishment, to put a person in solitary confinement.
This is a well known Jani fact, unless he's married,
that would be paradise. But this is not the topic.
And when we talk about peer pressure,
we find that as in so many things, there are positives. And there are negatives. So is peer pressure, always mad? Well, our Prophet alayhi salaatu wa sallam was the first
to draw the line. And to explain this topic to us 15 centuries ago, when he said sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and the Hadith is in Bukhari and Muslim, the likeness of a righteous companion is that of the seller of Musk, either he will give you a gift, or you will buy something from him or you will smell a pleasant fragrance from him.
And the likeness of an evil companion is not of a man who works the bellows, either he will burn your garment, or you will smell an unpleasant odor from him. So now the Prophet alayhi salatu was Salam is telling us that pee pressure can be positive.
And it can be negative, as for the positive aspect,
a good companion has to influence you. So either he teaches you directly do this, and don't do that. And this is positive, because he's leading you were to gender.
What are you doing here?
What are you doing on earth? Making money getting married? Having a good time? No, you are striving to reach agenda, a good companion, by pressuring you to do well, is taking you to Jenna, either he would directly teach you, or you would learn from him, without him directly being involved in this, or the least you could benefit with him or from him? Is that people relate you to him? Do you know so? So yeah, he's a friend of Cher stone. So he's a friend of the Imam. He's a friend of this pious person, Mashallah, then he has to be as good as his friends to the seller of musk. Either he tells you
have some as a gift, or you buy from him, or at least you leave the shop with your soap with your dress, with a good smell. This is a positive peer pressure. And this is exactly what the people use to benefit from. Mm hmm. I'm at 5000 used to attend his halaqaat is
four, five, only 500 of them used to write the Hadeeth 4500 would just sit there and look at him and I met the way he speak his manners, the way he teaches to learn from him. So this is the positive thing and a positive impact of peer pressure. Is that when a righteous person takes you to hombre how many times how many of you? Were sitting there idle, not thinking and one of your friends says he will love him. My heart is hard. How about we go next week to Ramadan? And as the guy says, Yeah, that's a good ID this guy says it's a good idea and you end up finding yourself in Makkah raising your hand in front of the camera. Oh ALLAH forgive my sins because I have sinned a lot. This is
positive peer pressure.
And they always have their impact on you. Okay, don't smoke. It's how long okay? We didn't pray fudger Allah doesn't like this. Okay, let's go and give charity Akito
Don't do this, don't do that. And this is why we sometimes hate them. Because they're always deterring us from doing evil. There is a construct close by a famous rock star is coming, let's go say no, no, we have to come to the Pakistani forum for listening to an old shave, speaking creepy things.
You hate this. But he drags you. This is a positive impact. And this is why, when you have this positive peer pressure, you benefit a lot in dystonia. So many people have all si D obsessive compulsive disorder they have which was they have bad ideas. Allah cures them, when they are in the company of righteous people.
And these wish was increased. If they are with the company of the people of the dounia fancy cars, fancy wives fancy houses, fancy jobs, was everything going to help?
This is why it increases your wristwatch. It increases your depression. And this is why our Prophet told us a lot to him that Allah's hand is with the jamara
with the Muslim majority, and he told us that shape on would only attack
a stray sheep. He would not attack like the wolf. The wolf does not attack the whole herd. He waits until a stray sheep leaves and then he catches it. If you have no positive peer pressure, you are an easy prey for shade man to attack you. A friend in need
is a friend. Indeed.
He is the one who you immediately take your phone and look in your contact when you have a problem. Or you want to invite him to a wedding or to a pleasant thing. He's the friend who you need and depend on him even in help.
A friend indeed, is a friend indeed. One says, Hey, I don't want to see you in hell. What would I do with you in hell? What kind of friendship is this? Allah says in the Quran. Now, we have no intercessors nor a close friend to help us. This is what the people in hell say. They say we don't have any close friend to help us and help. On that day when people stand. barefooted. naked, uncircumcised, intimidated, afraid from the horrors of the Day of Judgment. The friends let go of their best friends, except the righteous Allah says friends on that day will be foes will be enemies one to another except aleut akun lol ducane May Allah will make you
and me among those who are the righteous who fear Allah make our friendship for his sake as a virgin.
Yesterday, I arrived from Jeddah and I went to the mall to find the bite
to eat. I never go to malls in Saudi Arabia, I never set foot in a mall, because it hardens my heart and it takes time. So I went there and I was shocked to waste half an hour of my time looking for a cheeseburger.
And then I thought Subhanallah these people wasting hours after hours selecting a dress, a shoe a watch. Some of them put so much study in selecting a car something to buy yet a friend
who is much more valuable. We can take them in seconds, good or bad, it doesn't matter. We do not invest as such. That is why this brings us to the negative side of the peer pressure. The Prophet gave us the example of the man working the bellows the bellows are these things that are used to make the fire starts for a blacksmith who works on copper or an iron so he always has to blow the fire and to ignite it and keep it hot. So the smell when you go to a place where they are barbecuing
the smell of the smoke and the and the
And the cooking, it sticks to your beard. If you have a beard, and to your soul and to everything around you, which is similar, the prophet tells us and if he doesn't burn your clothes directly with the sparks in the fire, the least you will get is what
is the smell? And this is why do you know so and so? Yeah, he is with that singer. He's with that actor. He is with that fornicator. He's a friend of that junkie who does drugs. Who doesn't pray, this is the reputation you will get when you have such a companion, befriending you. So is there a negative aspect of peer pressure? Do we have this? Do we see this? Definitely. And you can just look around and ask yourself, who taught that person consuming intoxicants, whether it is alcohol or drugs, whether he's doing heroin, cocaine, amphetamines, crack, meth?
Whatever, you know, better than I do. I hope you don't.
Who taught him how to do these bad and evil things? Mashallah, he was born like this. Or was it his friends? You're not a man. Come on, try it. It will make you happy. It will make you feel good. It doesn't do out. It's on me. It's three. first couple of days. It's free, then we will consume all of your money. These are your peer pressure. who led this poor young sir, a teenager, I get hundreds of questions while law hundreds of questions from teenagers complaining of pornography number one, and number two masturbation.
who led them to this? peer pressure? You didn't see this? Well, you're not a man. And it goes on to
prohibited and forbidden sexual relationships. They go to the girl you don't have a boyfriend. So panela you're not in that hole. You're complicated. You have an issue. You have a deficiency. You don't have a girlfriend. You're not a man. Are you gay? What did you have a girlfriend. So Pamela, this is the normal type of dialogue, to pressure you to bring you down to the swamp of filth. And, Cindy,
when you go to women, to girls, who taught this nice, young, innocent girl, how to lie to her parents. We have a school project mother, we have to stay late. And she is you know where.
So I have so many stories about this will lie that would make you cry about the pressure on women on girls on 13 year old girls going out with men. And she comes to me and writes me a letter and gives it to me after Isha prayer. She's saying, I've done something major. I didn't know who made her do this. You know? So, the Prophet told us la salatu salam and if you look also to so many women who were Mashallah committed on the straight path wearing Hijab wearing niqab and the agents of shavon were pumping them were trying their level best to whisper on them until they took off their hijab. They took off their napalm and now they are like everyone else p pressure. The profit center is
colossal a man will be on the path of his close friends. So pay attention to who you make friends with man will be on the religion he says on the religion of his friend. You will take up from your friend, whether you like it or not. And this is why Allah the Almighty did not order us.
Allah ordered his messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam to carefully select his friends. Imagine Allah ordering the messenger icon to select his friends. Allah says every week on Friday we read this surah Allah says, and keep yourself patiently with those who call on the Lord. morning and afternoon sneaking his face, and let not your eyes overlook them. Ally cynically says messenger to make yourself
All the time surrounded by righteous people who call Allah in the morning and the evening, and don't overlook them, we tend to do the opposite.
The Prophet said la salatu salam in an authentic hadith, LA to saw him in a minute Do not be friends with except a believer.
Your friends have to believe they have to be believers. And why is that? Because they have a positive impact on you. And this is why the first thing the Prophet did when he came to Medina was to make the Brotherhood bond between the Tsar and the Maha jurien. So each one from the migrants they he assigned one from the Mahajan to be his brother, and they used to inherit one another, like siblings. So he made Hamza and they This is an exception, brothers and then Aveda and Sadie wanna sell man and a bit they're there at the right moment. And sad. Abner, labia, he made them brother 40 of the migrants with 40 of the people have unfollowed the peer influence is huge. is great. abubaker
The minute may Allah be pleased with him, embraced Islam, what did he do? Six
of the 10 heaven bound embraced Islam in his hands. This is why he's the highest in Eman and reward of the Prophet Mohammed a solid was set up
by the Imam Jah have the right moment Oh,
man, even a fan and so on. All of them accepted Islam because of peer pressure positive Abu Bakr may Allah be pleased with him. But look at the amount of people who deviated and rejected Islam because Abu Jamal
and the most famous one is who? the uncle of the Prophet Allah, Allah upon his dying bed, the Prophet says your Ummah, oh my uncle say a single statement that I can intercede on the Day of Judgment with it. I will ask Allah By Allah, Allah, Allah Allah and Abuja Hill is on the other side of the bed, telling him would you leave the religion of your father Abdulmutallab.
And he kept on influencing him until he died on Cofer.
Peer influencing if you sit with what do we call? Well, you know, don't work. In Saudi the motto are those who have beards and short soaps.
Regardless, they are known as moto work. If you sit with a moto wear for a while. After two three days without feeling it, when someone does something to you, you say just like a Lego halen.
Even if you don't know what this means, but because you've heard it so many times from them, you start picking it up. On the other side of the coin, those who watch a lot of movies, when they see a truck coming to kill them. They're about to die. What do they say? Hopefully?
fill the space. Why? Because they've watched so many movies. This is the word that they always hear on everybody's tongue. This is F good man. Yeah, Fear Allah. What is this? Oh, I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it. Peer influencing. If you sit with people who all the time backbite others, what will you do? You will contribute? You have to? Everybody's speaking. Yeah, he's short. He's fat. He stole his thing. He's stingy. He's this. He's that and you're sitting there idle? No, I have to have some contribution, you know, some boxing efforts or a punch below the belt or above the belt, whatever. You backbite people ignore Mubarak. Somebody mentioned in his presence.
Someone backbiting him? He told him fear Allah. Did you make jihad against the Persians?
Did you make jihad against the Byzantines, the room the Pharisees, the disbelievers? Did you make jihad against any of the enemies of Islam? He said no. Just upon Allah, the room, the force, the copiers, they're all saved and insecurity from your attacks and your Muslim brother is not well law he it is not permissible for you to harm a dog. It is not permissible for you to harm a pig.
How dare you harm a Muslim brother of yours like this. So, now, we have an issue and this issue is that
what is the worst peer pressure, one could find.
The worst peer pressure I consider to be a variable at the moment is the media.
Whether it is television, radio, whether it is printed newspapers and magazines, or what is known as the social media, this is the worst that has influenced on you, it changes your mind, it changes your heart, even your own personal home. It changes your wife, it changes your children, it plays with their minds, and also sisters. It changes your husbands. And you can tell my husband wasn't like this. Now he's picky. Why are you wearing
34 or 38? Why aren't you 26 or 24? or whatever? Why are you doing this and why he's saying weird things. And with all due respect, but this is happening because of negative pressure. This is what they see on the media. My son wants to get married. You give him a list of women nice girls know she has to be blond blue eyed.
Five one weighing less than 60 kgs. And she knows how to ski and to play the violin. But now she's practicing and has the Quran memorized by the seven karate and knows the Bukhari and Muslim manga for books.
If I knew such a girl, I would have married her. This is only found in Jenna you crazy? Where are they getting this from? It's from the media. And this is where ever you go, the people are on their idols or snam they're always on their mobile phones. They call it smart phones. I call it stupid phones. Because it deteriorates your IQ level, whatever they are giving to you or soaking it like a sponge. And these are the worst things that you have to be careful what to do. Most of us and I'm one of you.
Hamas, I made the mistake and I brought my children and my home smartphones, what to do palace give up and just go to hell hamdulillah No, you have to fight you have to take the measures, this is not the time to give solutions. Because the time allocated is not for that it's just an eye opener, you have to remove the passcode from their phones. So it's accessible to anyone. If possible, go back to Nokia
158 Durham, there is a very good type with a flashlight
that's good with a flashlight even in darkness you know electricians can use this very good. Okay. So hamdulillah these are the things to be used for Internet access the television or the monitor should be displayed to everyone in the living room. So anyone accessing it, his back is not to the wall, his back has to be
to the people and the people should be looking and they can see what is being displayed. So let us conclude with saying that souls are weak. We have weak souls Don't we? Well have a strong one law here we have the weakest of all souls and we change and fluctuate rapidly. And in Arabic We have a saying of Sahib. Sahib. Forehead means the companion Sahib means pulling you he pulls you. So your friend pulls you and he has to have an impact on you. And this is a social experiment. If you are in a place not in a place where you get an SMS or a message with a video clip of a child of five months old, doing something and breaking in laughter What do you do?
You're not if someone next to you hysterically laughs What do you do you laugh because this is something that
you catch out of another if someone next to you is depressed or crying you feel sad. What is this? I don't want to be here.
If someone in the room yawns
you find three or four yawning they have
The impact you don't know why this is happening, a fresh flower, a fresh rose, or fresh water when you bring a corpse of a dead animal and you put it next to them two hours and they'll be rotten, as well. Therefore, you as a Muslim, you have to be an Imam. You have to be a leader, calling people to goodness and have influence over them. If you're unable to be that, at least be a follower in goodness. So always accompany those who are righteous to have a positive peer pressure on you and influence and be careful not to be an Imam, leading others to help or following others to help and what they usually say when you are in Rome. do as the Romans do Do not be an Eman what is an Eman?
If people do good.
We do well. If people do evil, we do evil. Always have your identity as a Muslim. Be proud of it and try your level best to call people to Islam. And may Allah azza wa jal give us the best of companions and make us the best of leaders and imams to the Muslims in Taekwondo Lhasa, Lombok and Amina Mohammed