Channel: Assim Al-Hakeem
Rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa sallahu wa salam O Allah Allah, Allah Allah Ameen. Nabina Muhammad in water Allah He was on the edge main, another Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
We, as parents in general, and as fathers, in particular, have a great responsibility towards our children.
And with mixed emotions, sometimes it's a bit difficult to determine how to deal with our children. And the best way to know how to deal with them is to look at the greatest teacher of all sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and how he used to deal with his children.
The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam
First of all, stated that, for a father, for a teacher, for a brother, for any individual, when dealing with children, you have to be merciful.
The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, he is not from among us, who does not have mercy on our youngsters are children, and is not respectful to our elders. And
the youngsters have a very important role in the life of the Prophet is to serve as he gave them a lot of interest.
And this begins from day one. Well, actually, it begins earlier than day one, it starts
from choosing your spouse,
because she will be responsible for upbringing your child. So if you want to have a good child, you should have a good wife. And this is why the Prophet alayhi salatu salam
ordered us to select and to choose the one who has religion. And
once this happens, even in the
warmest moment of intimacy,
when a person is about to have intercourse with his wife, the prophet tells us Salas and adore that we must say, so that shavon could not
harm our children.
And the dog, everybody knows Bismillah Allahu imaginativeness. shaytaan was a Navy Shavasana Matos octina. Once you say this, then with the grace of Allah, he would not be able to harm your child.
cared for our children, once they are born by showing signs of jubilation and happiness, especially when a female is born, unlike the machinery keen, unlike the idol worshipers, who, once they are given the glad tidings of the birth of a daughter. Their faces turn dark, Allah says, and when the news of the birth of a female child is brought to any of them, his face becomes dark, and he is filled with inward grief.
The profit goes on on a soul to Sam to tell us how to select names of our children. And he tells us that the best of names is Abdullah and Abdul Rahman.
And these two Beautiful Names relate the child to their Lord of man, to Allah, the Almighty as the origin. And
on the seventh day, were ordered to circumcise the boy. were ordered to shave the head of the newborn, and we'd ordered to sacrifice two Rams for a male child and one gram for a male for a female child as a sign of gratitude to Allah azza wa jal and showing how happy you are.
If you look at the Syrah of the Prophet alayhi salatu salam,
you will never find him
and you will never find that report or Hadith ever stating that he had spanked a child or that he has punished a child or
cursed him for any given reason. Because he was sent as a mercy to mankind sal Allahu Allahu alayhi wa sallam. Unfortunately,
we have forgotten the basics of Islam, and you find in our household that violence is controlling. We never speak to our children, except in
an admonishing admonishing a tone, without saying, Are you stupid? Can't you understand how many times you have to tell you this, or without pushing them or spanking them, or insulting them in front of others, and these are against all basics of Islamic upbringing. The Prophet alayhi salaatu wa sallam
once kissed Allison, his grant child, the son of Valley there's not a Fatima and in his
yard and his court, there was an outcry of new habits. And he said,
with astonishment, Prophet of Allah, you kiss your grandchild child, by a lie, I have 10 of my own offspring, I have 10 sons, have never kissed any one of them in my life. And the Prophet looked at him and said, that is salatu salam, he who does not have mercy will not have Allah's mercy upon him.
And this is a grave warning to us. If you don't have this mercy at your own child,
then Allah azzawajal will not be merciful to you. And in another narration, the Prophet told him Assam, what can I do to you if Allah has taken the mercy out of your heart? The Prophet alayhi salatu salam
once was on the pulpit, giving a sermon to the Muslims imagine the whole Muslim woman sitting in the masjid and the Prophet is giving them
naziha giving them advice is preaching them. And all of a sudden he sees it has no word Hussein, wearing two red garments, barely able to walk three years, four years of age, maybe less. Entering the masjid. The Prophet alayhi salatu salam interrupted his speech came down from the pulpit and carried them and he recited to the companions, the ayah in the Quran, your wealth and your children are only a tribe
in them while como la to come. fitna. The Prophet is confessing, I can't help it. I love these two grandchildren of mine, may Allah be pleased with them.
And likewise, this was not with the boys alone, even his granddaughter. Abu Qatada may Allah be pleased with him tells us that the Prophet alayhi salatu salam once came out to the prayer carrying oh man bent a glass, even a beer. Oh, mama is the daughter of his daughter, Xena. So she is his grand daughter. So he started praying carrying her on his shoulder. And whenever he bowed or frustrated, he placed her on the ground. Whenever he stood up, he again put her on his shoulder throughout the whole prayer.
What does is express to you imagine if I am a member of a Masjid, went to my congregation and was carrying one of my children are one of my grandchildren. How would the people react?
What do the people nowadays do? When children come into the masjid?
Imagine grown up men shouting and screaming in the masjid. Don't bring your children don't do this. Who are you to say this? Do you know more than the profit center?
It shows you how far away We are from the Sunnah of the Prophet alayhi salatu salam, likewise, a hadith when the prophet of someone's prayed
and he came to the prayer carrying and has an oral her saying generator is doubtful which one of the two
and the Prophet started the prayer.
And in one of his frustrations, he prolonged it so long, that the companions feared that he died in prayer. So one of them left his head to find the prophets prostrating with Al Hassan on his back mounting him like a right. And when the Prophet hasn't concluded his prayer, they told him a prophet of Allah, you did something that Jani was too long and we thought that something had happened to you or that maybe a larger is revealing
way to you. And the Prophet said that is salatu salam mine
grand son took me as arrived and I didn't want to interrupt him.
This is from the Prophet Allah saurashtra, prolonging the prayer which everybody else is praying behind him, for the sake of the heart of this young infant, this young child, which shows the importance of taking care of the feelings of our children,
the prophet alayhi salatu salam, despite his political
and social status as the head of the state. Whenever he passed by children playing, he would come and greet Sam to them as salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah.
Nowadays, if I'm walking in the street, and someone meets me, I expect him to start the salon because I'm the Chair, I am the elder, I am this and that. This is arrogance. This is a disease in the heart, you should come down to the people. And the Prophet used to come down and greet the children. Because of the mercy and the love he had. In his heart. He used to
do this, not as a public relation gimmick. He doesn't want to gain votes.
He did this because he was merciful. This was his nature, some of them which we should
strive to make it our nature, our nature. The Prophet alayhi salatu salam
used to play with the children,
and used to
give his condolences to a child
a young child of four years of age or five, who is a brother of Anissa willimantic. The Prophet used to visit their house often, and he had a small bird in a cage.
And all of a sudden the bird died. And the child was in grief, and he was sad. And the Prophet whenever he saw him, he would joyfully play with him and say, about Romeo, mother father knew her. And it rhymes about romaine, the child's name, what did the small bird do?
As form of condoling him sola Sallam he used to call children and he used to give them gifts.
He was once brought a garment. And he said, were his own harlot, and who was about five years of age, a young, female companion.
And when they brought her, he gave her that dress to wear. And so he did that to Osama bin Zayed, even had him elevate these with him. As a, as you know, was the adopted son of the profit of sun before adoption was abrogated. And Osama was his son. So Hakeem have no exam, may Allah be pleased with him once brought the government of the yes in the king of Yemen. So you can imagine that it's not an antique, it is a very exotic
dress that only is worn by emperors and kings. So he bought it with a large amount of money. And he gave it to the Prophet so that the Prophet would wear it. And the Prophet didn't even look at it. He said, Where is your summer, and it was summer was brought to him and he gave him that beautiful garment, to where
he used to LA Salatu was Salam
to the cry, and to the weeping of children.
In a prayer once, while he was praying, he heard a child cry. So he hastened to, to finish his prayer quickly.
And the companions were astonished because of the speed of the profited system. Once he concluded the prayer he said, I heard the child crying, and I was merciful for his mother's heart. So I concluded my prayer quickly so that she can attend him.
And by Allah, this is the mercy in the prophets heart that is so awesome that we lack he did not reprimand the woman
by finishing the prayer and saying, All women What don't you fear Allah don't bring your children to the mosque. No, he did not do that. He did not reprimand the child as so many ignorant elders do in the masjid. A child is a child if he shouts if he runs in the masjid. This is his nature. You do expect a five year old child to say
idol in the masjid and write a thesis, for example,
he's not normal. If you see a child sitting on a chair, not speaking, not playing, doing anything for a couple hours, this child is autistic probably or he has a problem.
This is not normal, you have to look into it. So we have to understand the nature of our children. The Providence system, used to be approached by a boy by a young girl, and she would say, oh prophet of Allah, I have a problem and I need to address it with you and I want to talk to you. And the Prophet has said I would give her an appointment, she comes and she takes his hand and she drags him in the streets of Medina, complaining about her problem and the Prophet is walking behind her as I'm listening to her problem.
He used to sell our salon, pay a lot of attention, which we should do, to the feelings of the children's, to the feelings of the children, especially in specifically when it comes to jealousy. And we know what happened with use of profit, the profit use of peace be upon him with his brothers and how they got rid of him because of the love of his father, Prophet Yahoo peace be upon him who could not conceal and hide his feelings towards use of
the Prophet alayhi salatu salam used to warn us from being unfair when it comes to gifts with our children, because this disturbs the
psychological aspects of the child when he sees his parent, preferring one over the other.
And in Vietnam out of Ivanova, she may Allah be pleased with him and with his father. When al Bashir Edna sad, gave a man his son, a gift. His wife was a wise woman, she said, I will not accept your gift to my son, until you take the profit item as your witness. So he went to the prophet and told him I gave my son and a man a gift. And my wife told me to make you a witness. So the Prophet said that is awesome. Did you give all of your children a similar gift? and sad, said No I did not.
Al Bashir a genocide the father of nah man said No I did not Oh prophet of Allah. So the Prophet said as Assam do not make me a witness over such injustice. Fear Allah, and be fair to your offspring to your children.
What would the Prophet do such a thing? That is awesome. Because if you favor one over the other, he will hold feelings of
hatred of envy, he will have a grudge against his own brother, which the profit So Sam does not want and there is a difference between gifts and maintenance. What a child needs is different than what you give as a gift. And this is not the time to discuss this. And husband medic may Allah be pleased with him, also tells us an incident that we rarely give attention to.
While the Prophet was sitting, one of his companions, was sitting next to him. So his boy, his child came in, and this companion held the boy kissed him, hug them and put him in his lap.
And Moments later, the man's daughter, who was almost the same age, also came in and the man took the girl and put her next to him. The Prophet alayhi salatu was Salam looked at the man and said, You were not fair with both of them. The boy you kiss and hug and put them in your lap, and the girl you put on your side, this is not fair. And this is not part of the Islamic teachings of how to treat the children
despite his love, and mercy to the children, this did not stop the Prophet alayhi salatu salam from teaching them from educating them. And we all know that the Prophet alayhi salatu salam, you know, the drought of note Allah Medina even had a twofer and a female effect. We always say this in Ramadan in Witcher and Tara, we had cetera who relayed this hadith to us. Believe it or not, it was Allison McNally, a seven year old child who came to the prophet and said, Oh prophet of Allah, teach me something to say in my prayer in my Witter, and the Prophet told him the drug
This shows us that we should
cater for our children's needs and questions. When your son asks you something, don't ignore it and treat him as if he doesn't understand, give him weight. Give him size, give him importance in life so that he would be able to react to act positively insha Allah.
Even Ibis tells us that when he was a youngster, 10 years of age, the Prophet used to take him behind him on his right. And he used to advise him, and he used to give him naziha Salalah Why do you sell them? In the great Hadith we know FL ilaha
illa had to do to to jack and look what happened to Abdullah Omnibus, he became one of the greatest scholars of all times, may Allah be pleased with him. Also, whenever a child did something wrong, the Prophet isozyme would advise him would correct him but with love with care with mercy, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
in the Hadith, I'm no Abby, Selim, I used to eat with the Prophet, and he was his step, son Salalah, how to sell them. And once the prophet SAW him eat, and he said, Oh, boy, yeah, Hola. Sevilla say Bismillah. Eat with your right hand and eat from what is in front of you. Because you used to eat with his left. And he used to eat from whatever it was
in the dish, whether it was in front of him or not. And he would not take that lightly and say, Oh, he's young, he's a sucky No, he would sell us on him, advise him and teach him and correct him. Likewise, when Allison
took a date that he found on the ground, he the Prophet alayhi salatu. Salam told him, meaning that this is not for you, you are from ad elbaite, you cannot eat charity, and he took it out from his mouth.
The Prophet alayhi salatu was Salam used to
correct mistakes, whenever he sees them, he would not ignore them. Once he heard children, mocking the advan. Imagine this happens from children. They were playing so one of them was calling the man
in a mocking way, making fun out of it. And the Prophet told them, bring me that person who's making that event and making fun of it. So they brought him that and the child was a boomer azura. He was from Mecca. And this was after the conquest of Makkah. And these boys were just nearly recently diverted.
And the profit wiped over his head and over his chest. And he said, You have a beautiful voice. I will teach you the proper event. And he taught him the other day. And he became the president of MCE.
He didn't admonish him, he didn't punish him. The processor. On the contrary, he directed him.
And this is what you should you should do as a father, you should redirect your child, advise him, give him nice naseeha so that Allah azza wa jal would open his heart to that with the grace of Allah. The Prophet used to order us to take care of our children by instruct them, instructing them to
perform forms of worship at a very early age, because this would stick in their heads, and they will be brought up on worshiping Allah. Didn't he say, instruct your children to pray when they're seven, and spank them when they're 10. Meaning if they do not pray, three years is for more than enough to have our children accustomed to prayer. And industry they are three years 365 days, five prayers a day. You never
back out. You're always adamant to have your child pray. encouraging him Come my son come my daughter, yes, let's go without any punishment or reprimanding for three years. And then when he said 10 years of age, if he still
continues to be reluctant and praying, you can spank him slightly not beat the heck out of him or break his bones or put scars in his face. No, you have to be fair and know how to do this. The Companions used to order their children when they're seven years of age too fast or six years of age and if they felt really
Hungry or weak? They would make them fast until his or her time and give them food or encourage them to fast until answer and then give them a gift. So this is far part of their training. And we know about him in advance and how he used to pray night prayer. When the Prophet was at his aunt's house maimunah mellow hippies with her. He used to pray at night prayer and Abraham asked us to stand next to him and pray with the Prophet alayhi salaatu wa sallam,
the Prophet sallallahu Sallam used to
trust the children, empower the children, do you imagine this?
If not, selama May Allah be pleased with him. He was six or seven years of age when his people came and accepted Islam. And he was the most learned among them
to memorize the Quran.
So, the prophet alayhi salaatu wa Salaam
allowed him to lead them and prayer to lead men to lead warriors
because he memorized more Quran then they did. So.
In short, as a parent,
what you choose today
is what will reflect on our future with the grace of Allah, how you choose to deal with your child,
you will see this when you grow old, you will see the impact
of what you have said or done on your child's behavior. You will see that on the community that would benefit inshallah, from that our children today
are tomorrow's men. They are tomorrow's leaders, nations rise on the shoulders of our children today. And if we take care of them,
if we cater for their needs, if we teach them the religion properly, and teach them how to implement this religion as pleases Allah azza wa jal, if we protect them, from wherever harms them physically, mentally, or religiously, and try our level best to bring them as strong men with the grace of Allah azza wa jal, we would find them effective, and we would find them fruitful. And they would be a satisfaction to our hearts and to our eyes, whenever we look at them. So it is a long investment.
It is our responsibility. It is not something that we have chosen, but rather it is something that Allah has entrusted us with. If you look at your child, in this way, and through the spectrum of the Sunnah of the Prophet alayhi salatu salam, you will manage with the grace of Allah azza wa jal to
what the prophet that Islam entrusted us with, and you will in sha Allah be successful in having an offspring that would benefit you, even when you are buried in your grave. The Prophet said that a salatu salam, when the man dies, all of his good deeds are over or cut, or discontinued, except of three. And he mentioned one of them, are righteous offspring, that he or she supplicates and invokes a law for you.
With this, I conclude my talk, I pray to Allah, the Almighty, that He grants you and me and all of the Muslim
children that would carry the burden and the responsibility of this oma that would cater for the needs of this oma, that would take this oma from the ground level that she's in into the highest levels of success and honor. May Allah azza wa jal grant you and me offspring that would become scholars in Islam, that would become good practicing Muslims, who would give the best illustration of Islamic morals and an ethics to the whole world. I mean, and with this, I live up in Manila was Salam alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh