Ali Hammuda – Married Ever After 01 – Introduction

Ali Hammuda
AI: Summary © The segment discusses the importance of marriage in Islam, including the need for a wife and a husband to achieve a complete "has," the use of "has" in marriage, and the importance of marriage as a bridge to peace and contentment. The segment also touches on the topic of marriage, including the decline of marriage, the importance of emotions in relationships, and the use of signs of Islam in marriage. The segment also discusses the decline of divorce, the success of hip hop, and the importance of avoiding stress in divorce. The series will cover various topics, including the book of Islam, the method of divorce, and the importance of equal sex marriage.
AI: Transcript ©
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The Muslim Wayfarer to Allah and the home of the Hereafter

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is unable to complete his journey to his Lord.

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In the absence of three bits of luggage

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these three bits of luggage were manifest in the lives of all of the Prophets and Messengers.

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And these pieces of luggage were present and are present and will continue to be present. With every righteous Muslim and Muslim until the end of time,

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there can be no pleasing of Allah, no safety in the grave, no help in the Hereafter, a nor success. When we arrive at the gates of gender without these three pieces of luggage, what are they? The first

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is still hate,

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to unify Allah Almighty in worship.

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And the second piece of luggage, is that etbr conformity to the prophetic way.

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And the third of them is this gear, the purification of the soul.

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There is no success without them.

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And it was the provision of every prophet and righteous man and woman till the end of time, as forto hate, one a HELOC to Jean now we'll insert inlandia Abu Dune, Allah said I've only created the jinn kind and mankind so that they may worship Me. And when He is Allah Allahu alayhi wa sallam sent me to Yemen to invite them to snrm What was his instruction? He said fairly Hakuna? Well, not at all home in Asia heard that. In Allah wa no Muhammad. He said the very first thing you are to call them towards when you arrive in Yemen

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is that none has the right to be worshipped but Allah Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is his messenger. So hey, luggage number one.

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Luggage number two, we said is what? Javid?

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alegebra conformity to the way of the Prophet Alayhi Salatu was Salam. The hadith which you know, that Fe and Marina Harada malaise Amin Hua Hua whoever invents a matter in our religion that's not part of it will have it rejected all of the doors to Allah Jalla Jalla Allah who are shocked with the exception of the door of the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam ie along his prophetic footsteps. That's luggage number two conformity to the prophetic way. Luggage number three is what Abdullah does Kia the purification of the soul, or the Alpha men the Zakka successful is he who purifies himself so he'd

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conformity to the prophetic way, this gear and he here is what is amazing.

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All three of these pieces of luggage can be found in a patently obvious way, in the institution of marriage to Hades, their

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conformity to the prophetic way is there. This gear is there. How is there he'd found in marriage?

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Very obvious.

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No matter how independent a man or a woman may claim to be in life, there will be a point in their existence when they will hit a brick wall or rock bottom. They cannot continue without a spouse.

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We are weak when we are by ourselves and we are much stronger when we are married. As for Allah Jalla Jalla Allahu he has not taken for himself a wife or a son nor a partner. And so the fact that you need to get married you only become complete when you are a duel is a reminder of the want of the Oneness of Allah Jalla Jalla Guha and hotel Dora buna.

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Allah said and he exalted is our Lord has not taken for himself a wife, or a child.

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And Allah agenda Janelle who said, buddy, oh, somehow it will. He is the Originator of the heavens and the earth. And now Yahoo Yahoo wallet, how can he have a son when I'm talking Yahoo Sahiba when he had no wife

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and Allah Jalla Jalla, who said upon whom Allah who I had, say He is Allah, the one

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he created the heavens and the earth and he was alone. He provides for all of creation, and He is alone. He gives life and death and he is alone on the Day of Resurrection, when he will wrap the earth and the heavens and he will be by himself, he will be alone. And when he allows people to enter Paradise and *, he will not ask for the opinion of anyone. He is alone in his command. And that is why Allah said, Yo my home that resume on the Day of Judgment they will be

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exhibited Leia and Allah him in home shape, nothing what they do will be hidden. Li Menil Vulcania home, they will be it will be announced who does the kingdom belong to today? And the answer Lila Hill wide alcohol to Allah, the One

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the sub doula.

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So the fact that you find yourself at some point in your life unable to continue physiologically, spiritually, emotionally, you're weak, you need a wife and you need a husband. This is the greatest reminder that all who Allahu Allahu Allah is one. So Hades founded the institution of marriage, Allah, Allah. Number two, we set conformity to the prophetic way.

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And that is why the Prophet alayhi salatu salam, when he came to hear of three men who decided that they will worship Allah in a different way.

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One of them said, I will pray all night,

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and I will not sleep and the second said, I will fast and I will never break it. And the third said, I do not marry women.

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And when the Prophet alayhi salatu salam heard of this BDR this innovation, he summoned them, he said unto Medina, Holtam cada cada were you the ones who said such and such?

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He said, um Allah, Allah, He Nila Akshaya, Camilla, he worked kakula I swear by Allah no one fears Allah Almighty more than me.

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Well, that can be also Li, WA or could we also what are floodwaters? The word you and Nisha found on the Rocky Mountains from that event he made me. He said, As for me, I pray and I sleep.

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And I fast and I break it. And I also marry women. So whoever turns away from my way,

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is not to consider himself from one of us.

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So, it DEVAR conformity to the prophetic way is found in the institution of marriage. And we sit number 310 Skia the purification of the soul and perhaps this is the most obvious and this is found very obviously in marriage as well. How marriage without you know, hitting the low closes many of the traps of shape one

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and it fills the heart from its void and allows the mind to concentrate on other matters of life with the help of a wife or a husband.

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And that is why

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Bukhari and Muslim write on your authority of enormous Ruth, the famous Hadith where the prophet Alayhi Salatu was Salam said Yamashiro Shabaab or young men. Oh, young people, many stuff I'm encumbered by failure to watch whoever of you was able to get married must get married.

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For him now who Abdullah Sorry, what axonal inference because it will help you lower your gaze, and it will help you protect your private parts. For men lemmya stopped after Ali he sold me for in a hula hoop

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and whoever is unable to get married, then this person should fast ie a lot of fasting because this will be his shield.

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So Subhanallah the three most important bits of luggage in your life don't hate and conformity do the Sunnah and this gear purification of the soul are all captured in the institution of marriage. Therefore no surprise that the Prophet alayhi salatu salam said in the Hadith, which is very haughty generates men has Elijah fuckery stick men and this for Dini failure, tequila have Innisfil batty Whoever marries

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has completed half of his faith. And so let him fear Allah with respect to the other half.

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Why have we chosen the topic of married ever after?

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There are so many other topics that we could have covered?

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But in all honesty, in many of these topics, especially in in this moment in time, you will find that they relate to some people but not others.

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Should you take a detailed 50 jurisprudential topic, it might affect some but not others. If this series was about the ruling of Zika, and we need it, it might affect those who have money, but it will not affect those who don't. If this series was about, say, Now grammar, sort of morphology, Dallara rhetoric, it will affect those who want to specialize, but it will not affect others. If we wanted to speak about debate,

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how to give and take with atheists, it may affect some of us who would like to push ourselves in this domain, but it may not affect others who feel it's beyond them. However, when you address the topic of marriage in Islam, it should affect every single Muslim on planet earth.

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Because either you are married and you are happy, or either you are married and you are unhappy, or either you are unmarried and happy or either you are on

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married and unhappy one way or another, this topic is going to affect you.

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Why have we chosen the topic of married ever after? I'm going to share with you seven headings.

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And the first of them is this, we have chosen this particular topic because xlarge marriage is the way of the prophets and messengers before us.

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Every one of the prophets

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with perhaps a few exceptions, who don't affect the rule had wives

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and some of those prophets had multiple wives. Allah gender Gerardo who said while other arson rasuna mill public, we sent messengers before you watch your Anala home as well John wherever we are, and we made for them wives, and children.

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So they all had wives, with the exception perhaps to Jesus son of Mary or you said Ali, he stood out to a Salam. Some of the scholars they say he married Maria Mel Medallia during his life. Others they say it's unlikely that he did that. Some day see, when he comes back to planet earth, He will remarry. Others they say we don't really have knowledge of that. But it's an exception to the rule in all cases. Yeah, Ali, he sought out towards Salah John the Baptist, some have said that he didn't actually marry during his life, based upon how Allah described him hustled up. But there was a difference of opinion as per what is meant by hustle.

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Genuinely speaking all of the prophets and messengers in their 1000s had wives. So this is cause number one behind our choosing of this topic. It was the way of the Prophets and Messengers. Number two,

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marriage in Islam is seen as a garment or libre OS that no Muslim can do without

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Allah Almighty in beautiful words said describing the institution of marriage. Ordinarily bears will look into Libra sooner when they are a garment for you, meaning your wives um, you are a garment for them.

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Qatada, he said, describing what is meant by this, he said who know second Hola, como Antoon second en la han it means you are a tranquillity for them, and they are a tranquility for you. And subhanAllah Libras a garment serves many purposes. Look at this beautiful Quranic fish be the analogy the comparison made, what does how how does clothes serve you? It covers your private parts, it conceals your nakedness.

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And that is the purpose of marriage as well as husband and wife, they cover the deficiencies of one another.

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They cover the vulnerabilities of one another, they hide the secrets of one another, they strengthen one another, they don't expose one another. That's the purpose of a government. Number two, Alabama's a government shields you from the elements.

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Whether it's the scorching heat, whether it's the blistering cold, your cloth is a protection from the elements. And similarly, marriage is supposed to serve the exact same purpose of protection from the elements of life.

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Number three, your clothes, your garments are the closest things to you. There is nothing closer to you at the second time than what you are wearing your outer and inner garments. And Allah said, your wife, your husbands, they are your garments. And so therefore we understand this element of mohale aha moment, as I'll call it being near and close to your spouse, there shouldn't be these prolonged periods of separation,

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because it's not the function of the garment to be far away from one who was wearing it.

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So this is the second reason why we're speaking about this topic, because it is the most important garment that a believer can wear.

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Number three, we've chosen this topic of married ever after.

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there is no other topic that is of a greater miracle than this. Marriage is the greatest miracle or we can say marriage is a miracle in every sense of the word.

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when you think about it, how to people who perhaps share different ideas in life at times they have different first languages, different cultures, different surnames, different appearances, different ways of upbringing. They don't know one another. Should they walk past one another in the street, they wouldn't bat an island this person is a stranger and then all of us

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Sudden with the bond of marriage they become the nearest people on planet Earth. How is that possible?

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Well, who would live the Halacha mean? And you Bashar, Allah said, I was the one who created from water, human beings. Third Jana Hoonah. Seven was the Hara. And he made this person, a relative by means of marriage, and lineage, what kind of a Buka pudiera. And your load is certainly most capable. It's a miracle.

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To previously they did not know one another. Previously, they meant nothing for one another, should one pass away, it wouldn't affect the other, they are strangers. And then all of a sudden through marriage, this person becomes the nearest individual to you on earth, such that if they were to travel for work, for example, and back in the days when they traveled for work, it wasn't like nowadays a weekend, Friday to Sunday. Sometimes it would be months on end, sometimes years on end, looking for your provisions and the pain that they would experience during that moment of departure. And in the coming weeks, I'm going to share with you some of the poetry that was sent by the Arabs

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who were bidding farewell to their lives before they traveled for months and years. You will see as it will take me I said the pain that they experienced during the time of departure was similar to the pain of death.

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How did that happen when they used to be strangers to one another? It is called the Miracle of marriage.

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That is reason number one brothers.

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That is reason number three.

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As for Reason number four, we've chosen the topic of married Ever After because marriage is the most wholesome form of enjoyment that life could provide.

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Perhaps coming second place only to the enjoyment of being a Muslim.

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And that is why then maybe you will carry some of Allahu alayhi wa sallam said, and dunya Maha. The hadith of Muslim on the authority of Abdullah him 100 dinars and dunya metab life is an enjoyment.

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Well, when you will die you have to slowly and the best form of worldly enjoyment is

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the righteous woman.

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And the companions had a question for the Prophet alayhi salatu salam they said to him, rasool Allah He or you will learn in a decade or messenger of Allah, what type of money should we acquire? Animals land, livestock currency, what type of wealth should we acquire? He gave them an answer that they were not expecting. He said to them.

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Leah Turkey that hadoo compiled and Shakira when he signed the Acura one more slowly heightened to a you know, aha, they're gonna Emeril Acura, the money the wealth that you should require is a heart that is grateful to Allah and the tongue that is in praise of Allah and a righteous woman underlying this our righteous wife who will help you in your journey to the hereafter.

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It is the most wholesome form of enjoyment that a human being can experience in the life of this world coming second place perhaps only to the joy of believing in Allah and worshiping Him.

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Number five, the reason why we've chosen this topic is because marriage is the widest route

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to the objective of peace and inner tranquility.

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And just ask those who are experiencing the opposite of this marital discord, they will tell you that nothing can sap you have a happiness, contentment and tranquility, than being disunited with your wife, or husband.

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And I quote you the idea that you've all memorized, this is the go to IRA in the marriage ceremonies and the marital occasions, the ayah from Surah to a room where Allah said and we will recite it and then we will break it down step by step because it is fee Islam email, do it now it's at the heart of what we are discussing this idea is the crux, it's the hustle.

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or Allah said we mean it from the sides of Allah.

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And Allah, Allah coming and forsaken, as the wager that he has created from yourselves, spouses, leaders who know Elijah Elena, so that you may find comfort in her

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Wadada in my word, data, Rama and he's placed between you affection and mercy in the fidelity Keller Ira team, they call me at alpha karoun. There are indeed signs in this for people who want who think

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rewind, and take this idea bit by bit.

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Allah said warming it and from the side

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Names of Allah signs of what from the signs of the Oneness of Allah, from the signs of the power of Allah, the capability of Allah and your legit Allah, the sovereignty of Allah Jin legendado from His Signs is one

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that he has created from amongst you spouses. And I find it amazing

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that this higher that speaks of marriage, as being a sign of Allah is wedged in the middle of a series of ayat that speak about huge things. And then all of a sudden, you have the topic of marriage that appears as another one of the signs of hola IG when you think about it, demonstrate the IR before it What does Allah say? Well, I mean, Aya T and halacha come in to rob to me there and to bash Arun tanta Sharon, from the signs of Allah is that he created you from the earth.

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Then you became human beings scattered on the land. This is a sign of Allah, something mighty. And then the idea after our idea, what does he say? Well, I mean it he was somewhat a lot of the love was, you know,

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from the signs of Allah is the creation of the heavens and the earth, and the different languages that you speak and your different colors. These are huge signs of Allah, the eye after it, I mean it Hema novel can be Layli when the heart from the signs of Allah is how you sleep during the night and day, the eye after it will mean it your econ will Baraka how fun Wattana from the signs of Allah is that he shows you lightning, causing you hope and fear what units do you want me to send out You mad and he brings rain down upon you signs of Allah will mean it and Takuma Santa will have to be angry from the signs of Allah is how he maintains the heavens and the earth by His Command, something that

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either they have come down with a minute or the either and don't the Hello Joe. And then when he calls you from the earth, one calling, you will emerge.

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So sign after sign after sign that all indicate the Oneness of Allah, some speaking about the heavens and the earth, and some speaking about lightning and rain, some speaking about the resurrection, and some speaking about our creation. And then all of a sudden you have from the signs of Allah is marriage. He Subhanallah because it is a sign.

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It is a miracle that is no less in magnificence than the other signs that you've just heard.

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So we mean it from the signs of Allah that He has created from yourselves,

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There's a difference of opinion here between the scholars who is being addressed here that he created from yourself espouses. Some scholars, they say it's the men who are being addressed, that he created from you, Oh men, a woman meaning from your father Adam, his wife Hawa so that you may find rest in her. That's the opinion of most of the scholars of Tafseer. Some said like Oklahoma Maha showed he said no. The ones who are being addressed here is humanity. He created from yourselves meaning from your species, your kind, spouse's meaning men and women from your kind. So both are being addressed here men and women

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he created from your kind your spouse, so that you may find rest in her latest corner in a year.

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Ah. So you are told that the reason why your spouse was created from your genes from your kind from your category your species, so that you may be able to find tranquility. In other words, had your spouse not been from your species, you will not be able to achieve this goal of tranquility.

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And that's why it's a little bit strange when we are hearing the nowadays the contemporary forms of marriages between man and a cat and a man who's married his dog and we've seen people who have married their pet frog in a recent wonder woman who's married the Eiffel Tower and another who's married the Berlin Wall. It's not going to bring you this Akina which Allah speaks about in the ayah he said from your species, we created a spouse so that you may find rest in her. This is called the LaMotta allele, the Lamb of causation, created from yourself so that you may find peace in her meaning this causes this

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little school Ilia

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notice how Allah did not see you later school nor hinder her so that you may find peace at the place of your spouse hinda the preposition of ENDA

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know the ISA leader screw what? Elijah which translates us so that you may find peace in

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Not at the place of your spouse in your spouse you find peace. What's the difference?

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Hamid, what's the difference?

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This is your territory all day.

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Yes, you TADA

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Jamelia so the element of distance brother said that at the place of your spouse Ha

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ha ha, in your spouse, meaning it is near.

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Some of the scholars have said ainda

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you your physical presence

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where you are physically. You say Anna as school in the Sheikh Mohammed, I find my peace at the place of Sheikh Mohammed meaning when I'm at his house, when I am physically at his house, I find peace there. So anger describes where a person is physically.

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When you say la ha meaning I find peace in that person. It's not about where you are physically is where you are, what emotionally

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so your heart is with that person. Yeah, it's not about where you are physically, your heart is with that person. So the I said Lita school ILA you have so that you may find peace in her, not at the place of your spouse in your spouse.

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Lita schooner, this word that we translate as Sakeena tranquility I think you brothers use it from the Indo Pak region sukoon right, you say it. So going.

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In the Arabic language, the three letters of second when they come together, it means

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in power and in hierarchy, something that stops moving, stillness, sukoon stillness and linguistically when these three letters come together it means something that has stopped moving the opposite of an era which is movement. This is called Iran This is called sukoon

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that's why what do the Arabs call the knife

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ish Sheikh Mohammed what do they call the knife 16 Same with relaxes why because when you slaughter and there's a behind Shama nothing X rented the animal inshallah for food when you slaughter it stops moving.

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You stopped it from moving 16 The house what is the house called in Arabic? Yeah, I still thought it late. Okay, another one.

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caught them off guard. But let's scan or a second. Why? Because you come into the house, you you stop, stop. What's moving? You stop moving second? Yes. So the wife she was or the husband or the spouse is described as second. Why? Because you have this image of someone who's moving around by date. We're making the money bringing the bread home and stress and people in Kedah and then you come home and Hannah has all of a sudden there is there is no more movement. There's comfort there sukoon so he says we've made from yourself spouses so that you may find sukoon Sakina tranquility in her

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then he said what Johanna Rainer calm now what Dan? What Anna and he's placed between you both affection and mercy.

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What's the difference between love and affection? The Quran did not say what you either have Benoit Rama, love and mercy. No, he said affection and mercy. What's the difference between love and affection?

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Yeah, Alicia, but we've gone to English now so this should be easy.

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We don't have a single romantic man here.

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We're in New Hampshire Bob. This is the romancey further shake

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Okay, now what there is more than love how

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you're going to do what? But more is that?

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The duty oh okay right to see Masha Allah Mazola to share. The Dulwich Masha Allah lucky wife

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Shama huge congratulations for your life Mashallah. You can take a page from our brother's book here, Mashallah.

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The scholars have said that love is what you feel inside your heart towards a person. My word that is the expression of love

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is the expression of the love. Sometimes we have people in the Sharia court, they come to us and they are fighting and the wife says, he doesn't love me. He says, Of course I love you, honey. You if I can show you my heart, you see it's spilling with love. What is she saying? What is she saying? Malik? There's no affection and you're not showing me that love. So

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Allah says he's pleased between you Maota right the affection, the evil Hodel hope it's more of a verb, the expression of love and Rama, Mercy. Why did they come side by side? Like the Quran is miraculous there in our head and Allah?

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Why affection and mercy?

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Why not just affection? You know the this is the image that Hollywood promotes was that all you need is love they lived happily ever after. Why mercy?

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Mohammed, Mohammed is warming up now.

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it allows you to deal with the lulz like what?

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What loves in life require mercy

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old age slash yet illness. So are you so Razi, he said that the reason that both of them were required is because one leads to the other? That's the first thing one leads to the other in the beginning of a relationship. What is it? It's passion. It's like a hot cold or flickering flames. It's it's excitement, it's love. It's romance, there's not much affection. Yes.

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But then what happens later on in life as they grow all together, by the mercy kicks in. So now they can't live with one another they feel sorry for one of their sorrow for one another. So he's placed between affection and, and mercy, there's going to be a hole that's just on this area inshallah we will have it be eaten in the coming weeks.

00:31:37 --> 00:31:47

So in the first part of a marriage, there is a huge amount of love later on, there is mercy Allah said there is both between. Furthermore, subhanAllah when I showed he says this,

00:31:48 --> 00:31:55

he says some of the strongest relationships that a person has in his or her life is defined by my word affection.

00:31:56 --> 00:32:05

So the friends that you have, if I was to ask you tell me about your relationship with him, my brother, you will say, Well, let him know what that affection very strong affection

00:32:06 --> 00:32:46

that's between you and your friends. And some of the strongest relationships are defined by Rama, mercy, like the relationship between father and son, mother, daughter, parent and child, there is mercy there more than anything else. So Allah here will now show he says, What then do you make of a relationship that brings together both affection and mercy Illa Illa that is marriage when it is done correctly and is played properly. That is the purpose of this series to unlock all of these gems and these ideals that we are speaking about. So we've said the reason why we are speaking about the topic of marriages because it's the way of the prophets before us. And we said that it's a

00:32:46 --> 00:33:02

garment that you cannot do without, and we said that it is a miracle in every sense of the word. We said it is the most wholesome form of enjoyment dunya has to offer and it is the widest door that leads to Sakina tranquility. Number six.

00:33:03 --> 00:33:07

The reason why we've spoken we are speaking about this topic is because

00:33:09 --> 00:33:12

the decline of the institution of marriage

00:33:13 --> 00:33:17

is the marker of the decline of nations.

00:33:20 --> 00:33:23

society starts at the smallest possible level.

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Countries are made up of cities, cities are made up of towns, towns are made up of streets, streets are made up of families, husband and wife. And so if it is broken, at the base level, it is broken, all the way down.

00:33:42 --> 00:33:43

All the way at the top.

00:33:45 --> 00:34:07

And I truly believe that most of our travesties as a Muslim Ummah, can be traced back to the breakdown of the Muslim family unit. Rather the travesties of most of humanity, I think can be argued, can be traced back to the breakdown in the family structure.

00:34:10 --> 00:34:13

And there was a world famous historian by the name of Edward Gibbon

00:34:15 --> 00:34:48

and he studied the rise and fall of the Roman civilization. And he said that the Roman civilization declined because of five features that became salient in the art civilization. He said, number one, there was a weakening in the sense of individual responsibility. Nobody felt responsible and accountable for the welfare of society, family, community religion, there was no more individual responsibility. Number two, the Roman civilization began to suffer a breakage in the family structure.

00:34:49 --> 00:34:50

How highlight that one.

00:34:51 --> 00:34:59

Number three, he says that there was a huge amount of government intervention control and taxes levied upon people. And number four, there was

00:35:00 --> 00:35:09

People a lot of promiscuity and Hedden ism and pursue will have desire that will that was becoming violent and immoral. And number five, the decline of religion.

00:35:11 --> 00:35:19

What was number two? Number two was the breakdown of the family unit was what caused the decline of the Roman civilization.

00:35:20 --> 00:35:24

So, this topic marks the rise or fall of civilizations.

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And number seven, and this is the last of the seven points I wanted to share with you and that is, the reason why we are speaking about Mairead Ever After is because Shavon places a lot of his investments in this topic. Muslim narrates on the authority of jabber

00:35:43 --> 00:35:47

that the messengers of Allah Allah who said them said in the IB, Lisa al da Rocha, who

00:35:48 --> 00:36:13

at least establishes His throne, upon water. So Maya batho Sariah, who then he sends out his troops to cause corruption. He said, for a dinner who mean human Xena tan, amo homestate, Nitin. And the end of that evening, the shaytani troop who will be nearest to Iblees is the one who causes most corruption

00:36:15 --> 00:36:28

Yoji or HUD homes via Kufa and toca waka, they will report back to their lead shaper and he believes and they will say, I did such and such corruption. The police will say math if they say and you've done nothing,

00:36:30 --> 00:36:45

then a second one will come and he will say multirack to who had to buy now available it I did not leave those two married individuals till I separated between them. Ah, then IBLEES will say to him near

00:36:46 --> 00:36:47

you are the one

00:36:48 --> 00:36:54

I mean another narration of an homage he adds, while Tassimo and he brings him near to him.

00:36:55 --> 00:37:06

You are the one you separated between husband and wife. This is it. And as a rule my brother, my sister when shaytaan puts his money for a cause we are to pay attention.

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He has invested so much time and effort and his men into destroying the institution of marriage MCSA don't shame Barney. It is a Satanic ambition

00:37:19 --> 00:37:24

to see divorce a feature of a society. And when you

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ask yourself the question, why does he invest so much time and effort in this when you look at the ramifications of divorce

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in many cases, not all, but in many and sometimes most.

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The husband is derailed from his religion.

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And he's now experimenting, left right and center he's off the hook is off the leash.

00:37:49 --> 00:38:24

The wife, she may behave in a wild way decline in her religion and find ways to harm her ex husband by depriving him from seeing the children or any other way to upset him and harm him cause pain. And that's where the children had death while ah ha Raj. Allah homeless Dan, what happens to the children who come from a broken home in most cases, not all. Iain Duncan Smith, who is the ex work and pension secretary of the UK he said that children who come out of broken homes are nine times more likely to commit crime than children who come out from stable homes.

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Other statistics they say that children who come from a broken home are more likely to be obese

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than they are to be healthy.

00:38:35 --> 00:38:39

Children nowadays are more likely to have a smartphone than they than they are a father.

00:38:41 --> 00:38:57

Children nowadays, if trends continue in the UK as they are at this moment in time, there is a one in three chance that children before the age of 15 will not be in a home with a mother and father, but with one or the other. It is a Muslim, it's a calamity.

00:38:58 --> 00:39:33

And the tsunami of marital breakdown is battering the coasts of humanity, not just the Muslims. Take a look at the statistics. It's not just us who are being affected. It's a worldwide phenomenon. There is an issue in the 1930s. One in seven marriages ended in divorce in America, in the 1960s. One in four marriages ended in divorce. And now in modern day times, it's around one in two marriages will end in divorce in the United States.

00:39:34 --> 00:39:50

In China, there is a huge surge now in the filings for divorce. So much so that courts are now requiring couples to carry out an exam before they can file for a divorce to try to limit it.

00:39:52 --> 00:39:59

And then when you turn to a country like Egypt, with one of the biggest Muslim populations, certainly in the Arab world, there is a

00:40:00 --> 00:40:30

divorced, that's happening there every two minutes. In Pakistan, the ex Prime Minister Imran Han, he sired, he raised a flag. He was concerned. And he spoke about his concern for the rising levels of divorce in Pakistan. And then when you turn to the Arab world, it is just as devastating, if not worse, in 2014, it was documented that in parts of Saudi Arabia, divorce is reaching up to 60% of marriages.

00:40:31 --> 00:40:50

In 2013, there was a report that spoke about the divorces in Qatar. And in 2014, we're in the UAE, Qatar and the UAE suffering a divorce rate of approximately 70% of marriages are ending ending in divorce. Mostly, that's a catastrophe.

00:40:52 --> 00:40:55

And so much is being applied to reverse this trend. You've got

00:40:57 --> 00:41:01

dowry, caps, group weddings,

00:41:02 --> 00:41:11

people are loaning people money to give their mother or their dowry, and in financial incentives, penalties for divorce, nothing is working.

00:41:13 --> 00:41:20

Where does this sit with our Quran? When Allah said, yeah, you hand the video either to luck to Monisha

00:41:21 --> 00:41:24

Oh, Prophet, if you divorce women,

00:41:25 --> 00:41:29

look at the particle here of the conditional particle, either.

00:41:31 --> 00:41:38

Yeah, sharply Yeah, either. If you happen to divorce, then you divorced at the end of period, meaning it's not supposed to be the norm.

00:41:41 --> 00:41:48

And then when you look into the misery that comes into the life of a human being, when they are going through marital discord,

00:41:49 --> 00:42:14

it really prevents them from becoming the true worship of Allah Almighty. In many cases, why? Because the heart is a vessel. And if that vessel is filled with reason, grief, misery, and pain, shouting and fighting, how are you going to fill that vessel? With the worship of Allah that Talim of Allah the glorification of Allah, Masha, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, God will call me and if you don't know man has two hearts in his chest.

00:42:16 --> 00:42:17


00:42:18 --> 00:42:24

I'm trying to build a case for you, dear brother, dear sister, why we are speaking about this topic.

00:42:26 --> 00:42:32

There was a study that was done by two psychiatrists in 1967, by Thomas Holmes and Richard Raha,

00:42:34 --> 00:42:38

where what they did was that they took a sample of 5000.

00:42:40 --> 00:42:41


00:42:42 --> 00:42:48

and essentially they were trying to establish whether there is a link between stress and illness does stress cause illness.

00:42:49 --> 00:42:59

So they brought 5000 patients, and they presented them with a series of 43 life events.

00:43:00 --> 00:43:43

death, divorce, bankruptcy 43 disaster that a person can experience and each one of these life experiences have a particular scoring and a weight to correspond to the stress. And each event, which the patient added up to, or each event which the patient added meant that the score was higher and if the score was higher, it means the stress was higher and if distress was higher, it means the likelihood to become ill was was higher. Then they looked at the list of the most stressful events that can lead to illness and death. And they found number one, death of a spouse. Number two, divorce number three marital separation.

00:43:45 --> 00:43:55

And the top three of the list of stressful events that causes illness and death are all around the breakdown of a marriage.

00:43:56 --> 00:43:59

So the matter is serious dear brothers and sisters

00:44:00 --> 00:44:40

and something needs to be done about this as you have found out as Muslims, we are no exception to the rule that marriages are decaying left right and center. So much so that if you see a Muslim couple who are happy you see Masha Allah may Allah protect them from the evil eye. This is strange, they haven't divorced yet. And you see the prenuptial agreements between husband and wife before they marry, as if to say it's not till death do us part is till divorce, do a spot Subhanallah the assumption is divorce. So they're set instead of sitting with a shave, they are set with a lawyer before they get married. Granted the assets go in the case of a divorce.

00:44:43 --> 00:44:51

Therefore because the challenge is great brothers and sisters, our response as Muslims needs to be equal of equal measure

00:44:53 --> 00:44:59

to deal with this challenge, and that is why for this series starting from next week, Inshallah, we are going to retreat to the book of Allah

00:45:00 --> 00:45:02

Jojen algo we're going to find our solution from there.

00:45:04 --> 00:45:16

Because Allah Allah, Allah, Allah Allah Who said naffaa Ratan FET terribIe min che in a huddle Khurana hottie Linda T Jaquan. Indeed this Quran guide to that which is best.

00:45:18 --> 00:45:31

And Allah Almighty said maca and a hadith and you've done the Quran was not a forged tale when I can sleep under the bed in a day, but it was a confirmation of what came before it. What I've seen a cliche

00:45:33 --> 00:45:44

and a description, a detailed description of all things were done and guidance were rotten and a mercy they call me you'll be known for people who believe. So we're going to go to the book of Allah.

00:45:45 --> 00:45:47

And the method of the series

00:45:49 --> 00:45:55

is not going to be one whereby we're going to take a marital problem and the solution and a problem and the solution.

00:45:57 --> 00:45:58

This is not the Quranic way Aslam.

00:46:00 --> 00:46:05

The Quranic way is that it gives also it gives foundations, it gives principles

00:46:06 --> 00:46:09

to help you manage the difficulty in your life.

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And to keep your challenges at bay,

00:46:14 --> 00:46:25

we're going to go through maybe a dozen or so plus or minus principles from the book of Allah. And these principles that I'm going to share with you have three characteristics. These principles will be universal,

00:46:27 --> 00:46:28

meaning they apply everywhere.

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And they will be timeless, meaning they apply at every period in time. And they will be self evident meaning you cannot argue a case against them that would be foolish, self evident. We will start this in the light Allah as of next week.

00:46:48 --> 00:46:50

And we're going to discover in sha Allah that

00:46:51 --> 00:46:53

it's not marriage that makes you happy.

00:46:54 --> 00:46:56

You are the one who makes your marriage happy.

00:46:58 --> 00:47:08

In our happiness is not a dream. It is a choice that we are able to make if we understand these principles and apply them.

00:47:09 --> 00:47:18

And I offer you two quick disclaimers here before I conclude and I leave you to it this evening. The first disclaimer in this study, please number one, bear in mind

00:47:19 --> 00:47:51

that these principles are not intended to flush out every single problem and headache you experience with your husband and wife. Because even the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was not spared of these. He separated himself from his wives for weeks on end, and he was stressed because of them. Sometimes, this is part of life. I leave Nebuta they fell out with Fatima, the daughter of the Prophet Sebastian and his wife, he left the house, he was found in the masjid sleeping covered in sand.

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These principles, however, are looking to address the main issues that can threaten the fabric of a marriage and to give you a system by where you can deal with your problems and to flourish as a Muslim couple. That's disclaimer number one, disclaimer number two, don't rush.

00:48:11 --> 00:48:16

Don't feel that you've memorized and understood the principles you have to see results tomorrow or next week.

00:48:17 --> 00:48:18

may take time.

00:48:19 --> 00:48:21

And I love the words of Stephen Covey.

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In his book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective families, and he speaks about the the Chinese bamboo tree, the miracle of the Chinese bamboo tree. He says the Chinese bamboo tree you place the seed and for four years you'll see nothing

00:48:39 --> 00:48:57

other than a bone that comes out of the ground and a shoot. That's it for four years. Very annoying. He said but what is happening underground, it's building a huge network, fibrous roots. It's establishing itself then on the fifth year in one year, it grows 80 feet into the into the sky.

00:48:59 --> 00:49:05

Why am I saying this? When you study this series with us you shall allow it either your fifth year will come

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it will arrive. It may happen next year may happen next month. Don't rush understand the principles first, then apply them one at a time Secondly, then leave it to Allah Jalla Duran who to allow your seed to germinate when he wishes. But it will come be in the learning dialogue with patience and reliance upon Allah generated alcohol. We will discover in sha Allah that living happily ever after with your husband and your wife is not a mystery. It's a mastery of certain skills. We're going to share them in the learning data or some alone and have you know Muhammad would handle

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