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A Practical Program For Parents to Enable Productive Summer for Children – Day 4

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Ahmed Hamed

Channel: Ahmed Hamed

Series:

Episode Notes

Day 4 – How to do Morals & Manners Development

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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Assalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah Karim vida early he was happy to drain our altavilla ministry Vanya regimes Miller Rahmani Raheem, are abana habla na min as vergina was Oriya Tina kurata appian was subpoena mama rubbish really sorry, we're silly emri y de melissani Yahoo goalie, my dear brothers and sisters, welcome to our fourth session of how to enable ourselves for the children's summer to be more productive. Now, by the grace of Allah subhanahu wa Tada, we have dealt with three sessions so far in the first session or the day one we have talked about what is productivity in an Islamic

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perspective, what is the program all about? And we also highlighted Why is it required or important for us as parents, and we also mentioned about how our approach is going to be that was the session one day one, and in day two, we mentioned about 10 golden rules of parenting. So, in addition to that, we also introduced five key areas that we have defined in order to be focused with our children's development. In day three, we dealt with spiritual development or spiritual productivity as a whole. And we highlighted that the first priority you know, is spirituality for parents, in terms of children's development, and in today's session inshallah, we shall continue our journey

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with another significant area, and that is morals and manners of development. Now, children they need to, you know, be you know, taught or to be able to give them that supportive environment, so, that they can actually, you know, grow up with these morals defined by Islam, and they should have those manners which are like, you know, daily routine that they have to actually live. And

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what we will basically do is, we need to, you know, highlight five DS,

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for our children, the first D is to our for our children, we need to make dua to Allah subhanho wa Taala every single day for our children, that is something which is a nightmare for the children a blessing for the children by the parents, and never ever undermined this, you know, act of making to ask application or prayers to Allah subhanho wa Taala for your children, this is something which is as a believer, as a parent, we must do that is the first D. The second D is we need to devise a plan for them to be able to develop their manners and morals you know, properly and systematically. The third thing is we need to develop a strategy, how they could actually perform and practice these

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morals and manners. Number four, we need to demonstrate it as an example. So, whatever the morals or the manners, we are teaching to our children, when we actually enact that, when we actually do it as a part of our own morals and manners, you know, Outlook, they are going to see it, watch it and they will copy and emulate the same. So demonstrate as an example. And finally, when we have these four DS that is to devise a plan, develop a strategy demonstrate as an example, then the final D is they will drive their lives by these principles in sha Allah. So we need to have this five DS you know, in place in terms of making this as a fruitful attempt and journey inshallah. So, there are actually

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two things that we are talking in this area of development. Number one is the morals which is o'clock and number two

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manners, which is

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now morals. That is a club which is really, really important in the house of Islam.

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Allah subhanho wa Taala himself testifies in the Quran

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about the about the, about the club of Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Allah says what in Naka, Allah Allah who Latina, vim,

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Tao, Muhammad's Islam yom Hamza Islam, you have an exalted standard of character, which means there was never there is never and there is never going to be any person who will have such a caliber, or such a level or a position of that mohammedanism had in terms of manners and morals as well. And there is a huge, huge importance of, you know, morals and manners in Islam. And we can actually, you know, give as an evidence of this from various Hadith but to share with you a few. A Buddha reported that Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, Nothing is more heavier on the scale of deeds than one's good manners. This is something which is a real motivation for us, you know, as a believer,

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for ourselves and for our children, that for them, if they actually are grown with these morals and manners, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is telling us that there is nothing more heavier on the scale of deeds than once good manners. So we need to ensure that we develop with full zeal and enthusiasm, these ethics, these morals and manners in ourselves as well as in our children. Another hadith of Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, when he said the most Beloved of Allah servants to Allah are those with the best of manners, Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he said, in another Hadith, that the nearest and dearest to me, on the day of judgment, is the one who will have good

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character. So character development is, is, is a combination of morals, and manners. So the more we have morals, for example, the a clerk, you know, the more we build our character, the more manners we have, like our daily routines, our daily behavior, the way of life that we have to live as per the principles of Islam, the more we will build our character. So this is something which is really, really important for us to develop in our children. Now,

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as we mentioned, in our approach, we are going to go through with these three E's through five W's, and one edge approach. Now, as you might be now familiar with what are those three E's, through five W's and one edge, I'm sure that you will receive familiar now. So these three E's is educate, evaluate, and empower. So we are going to educate ourselves and our children, about the morals and manners, we will evaluate them, and then we will empower them, you know, through through these five W's and one h approach and that is, you know, what, why, where, who, when, and how. So, let's begin with educate the first IE.

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The question that we have in front of us is, what is morals and manners? As we mentioned, morals are Alok Aquila, Tia is one of the greatest aspect of Islam. Jani after Eman, Aquila Tia is something which is of utmost significance. Now in a HELOC, the overall character or the behavior of the believer comes in. So, we need to ensure that we

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know what we actually are teaching our children in terms of o'clock. So, for instance, you know, teaching them honesty, truthfulness, trustworthiness, patience, you know, all these are the traits

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Or the qualities that make a person you know, a good character or a person who has good morals. Similarly, we have manners as well. So, in manners, what we actually have is the daily routine. So, what are the things that a Muslim should do in general throughout the day, so, in summer, you have your children with you, you have two areas in this major area of development, that is morals and manners. So, you have morals, so, you basically list down the things that you

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think that your child is in need of, for example, if he is, you know, if he speaks something lies, he lies sometimes, or he is not, you know, showing up honesty, or he's being impatient or things like these, so, you can actually, you know, check out those areas in shadow that we'll talk about in the second e that is evaluation, and, and then support them by sharing with them the importance and you know, the importance of those aspects. So,

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that is pretty much about the morals that is a club and then manners, you see, we have to ensure that our, our child in the summer should go through the entire daily routine as per Islamic principles. So, for example, teach them what to say the DA what to say, the moment he wakes up. So, he will learn the adapt the manners of Islam, waking up the door for waking up the drug for sleeping the law for getting into washroom the drive for getting out from washroom, then you have you know, if you are drinking what to say after drinking what to say before eating what to say after eating what to say. So, how to walk your manners of walking, how to respond to your elders and youngers

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that is again a part of you know, other and then

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the drive to go out from you know, house the importance of greeting is really important as a part of other of manners, you know, greeting people getting into the masjid, the demand for getting in the getting the door for getting out of Masjid, and then you know, traveling for example. So, you are actually teaching them daily routine in terms of manners. So, you can

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you know, there are perhaps books available daily routine of a Muslim. So, you start from waking up up until they sleep, you check you check out all the activities that we generally as Muslims we go through and then you share with them look my son, we have to ensure that we you know, program this beautiful summer with these powerful you know, package of morals and manners. So, every single day you need to make the art and and and and practice it on a daily basis as a part of your daily routine with these two hours and explain them what this means, what does Allahumma Bismillah R mu to what means, the the gaffer sleeping the duel for waking up getting into the washroom? So, you have

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the whole general routine, this is going to be there throughout his life, right. So, we need to ensure that we teach them these manners, these are the of a daily routine in this summer and this is a beautiful, and and and the best time because we have availability of our children. So let them understand and educate them with these manners. So you devise a plan. As I said, After making law, you just can't sit back at rest, you need to devise a plan, when you devise a plan, you list down things are the activities that we generally do or he generally do or she generally does, you know, so, you have, you know, waking up, going to the washroom walking, talking, you know, eating drinking

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all these activities. So, you start from the moment he wakes up, up until he sleeps. So you have the list of activities and hamdulillah there is a powerful book, which is named as 1000 Shouldn't you have all the drawers in it? So you take down you list down the chart, you prepare a chart and let him or her memorizes that

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Those two hours with the meaning and unexplained them, as I said, explain them, Why do they need to read this? And this will give them our overall development of manners. So when you have a club that has morals and manners, both the things will result into a complete good character. And that is how we basically do in the first IE what is manners and morals and morals basically, why is it important as as we already dealt? It is important because it is among the major aspects of Islam if you actually see Islam,

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you need to understand the first thing is in maniar, which is our belief our Eman in Allah and His Messenger in yarmulke, Yama and all those things, right? So that's a man and the second is about that, which is the five times spraying you know, had Zakah you know, fasting, you know, all these things, the Pillars of Islam Actually, these are the other the third level is a kalapuya. So, many times that I feel lucky because it is it is with it is much to do with hokku polarie bar, this comes sometimes more important, you know, a bar that is between you and Allah subhanaw taala in the end, if Allah wish, he may forgive, but there are hokku could be bad that basically goes from your clock

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that goes from your character that has to be sacred, you know, very, very strongly. So

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this is one of the strongest aspects of Islam apart from Eamon and he regarded Akala t art these are the you know, in

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three major aspects of Islam. So, one third of this is your morals and manners. So that is how important it is. So person might be a good believer, he may pray five times a day, your child, you know, he reads the Quran, he performs the Salah, he he does his stepfather Toba and whatnot. But he does not behave well with you. He is just arrogant with with his friends, he is absolutely impatient. He is always distracted, he's lying. He is cheating. He is absolutely ungrateful for anything he's always complaining. So these are the things that will that will spoil even his Eman and his area, and it will have an effect on his mother. So we need to develop our child not just in

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one aspect, but the overall aspect of it. That's why it is important. When is it required it's required all the time. It's required all the time. However, this is the beautiful time summer, you have your child you have your time, devise a plan as I said make dua develop a strategy. This is what we are talking about how to develop a strategy demonstrated by yourself and you will see amazing drive of morals and manners in your children's life. So who should develop you and me as parents have to take up the responsibility of educating ourselves understanding its own importance in our lives, and then share it and relate with our children. So it's we who have to make sure that

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we educate about morals and manners

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you know, development for our children, well, we we need to develop it well, we need to develop it

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in the defined areas, as I said, we have to list down the UCLA pa the list of UCLA pa and we have to list down the manners the you know the daily routine activities and and check out you know, where he needs more improvement and how he can develop more. So this is more into education and giving them or teaching them these morals and manners, how to develop it a very powerful strategy to develop it is to share with them the goodness that they have in their lives. For example, Abdullah has a beautiful quality of being tankful so you appreciate them, acknowledge their quality and, and they will basically grow and live upon those, you know, aspects. So you need to first recognize the areas

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in morals as well as in manners. We're talking how to develop or how to develop the morals and manners you need to develop

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You need to list down those areas, and then share with them to begin with these morals and manners, you know, as a part of their education as a part of their curriculum of life, not just career life. So, when they know that these are the morals, and these are the manners, so, for example, as I mentioned,

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you know, the manners that are adopted, we have to list them, list them down and share with them again and again the to us and they have to practice on a daily basis, so, that they will be used to it and it becomes a part of their nature. So, similarly, morals, where they have to have good luck, good behavior with a lot of mercy, forgiveness, gratefulness or gratitude towards people without any procrastination, you know, have to manage anger and they have to ensure that they are not, you know, arrogant or impatient for that matter, they are not greedy. So, we need to list down these things, and that's how we can actually educate them in terms of moaner morals and manners, and that's how

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they will develop. So, that is the first IE that we talked about, what is morals and manners? Why is it important, when is it required, who should develop it very, we need to do develop it and how to develop their morals and manners. Now, let's go to the second E and that is evaluate evaluate

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the morals and manners. So, you need to check out the negatives or the drawbacks or the scope of improvement points in your child. For example, you write down the habits that he has, for example, he is backbiting he is backbiting right? He is lying, he is complaining, he is you know,

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being ungrateful, or he's completely lazy, or he is procrastination, you know, I will do it later. And then he is getting angry for pity reasons, he is non forgiving, he does not forgive people, he is failing, it has promised, you know, he is not saying you know, sorry to people, if he does anything wrong, is not apologetic, he's not saying sorry to people, that is a sense of pride that he has, he is being proud because of which his behavior is is reflected as arrogant, he is destructive, he is greedy, he is lowering, you know, other people down, for example, he's saying, you know, my friend, he hasn't got anything, you know, in his home or he his father doesn't have a good car, he

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lives in a very small house or something like that, you know, he's trying to look down upon people, he is not being trustworthy, you give him something, he doesn't take care of it properly, he is trying to be unfair, and he is you know, taking advantage of his of parents love for example, or he has the habit of being hatred, or he is not appreciating things in his life. So, when you actually, you know, lists down these drawbacks or these things that he has or she has, you know, it could be all of all of them they have or some of them, they have us parents have to evaluate, have to evaluate, where does my child require improvement, every child is different, somebody has, you know,

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some

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other challenge or the, you know, some people have different challenges. So, you need to understand what are those evaluation points? Why is it important because

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if we really want to, to make them grow, and become best in terms of morals and manners, we need to know where do they stand this evaluation is essential, because we want them to improve. We want them to go on a higher ladder. We want them to be better Muslims, we want them to grow up in life, we want them to be Beloved of Allah subhanho wa Taala. We want them to be near and dear to Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in the Day of Judgment. We want them all these things. That is why our evaluation will help us and them to make this journey. Furthermore, beautiful in Charlotte, when is it required? It's

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It's, it's, it's a time that you have to ensure that you evaluate them through different, you know, questions. And, and the process is how we, you know, evaluate them by asking questions, observational, keenly observed,

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you know, even sometimes our kids, you know, laughing, or in joking way they, they, they tell lies. So observe them and educate and evaluate them, Look, my son, you have joking, I know you didn't mean it, but you, you told, jokingly a lie, a lie is a lie. So you should always avoid it. So when you question them, when you observe them, and when you speak to them, you know, this is how you can actually evaluate their status of,

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you know, status of

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morals, and manners. So, again, who should do it, and

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it's, it's, again, we as parents have to ensure that we evaluate, we are the closest ones, to our children, we know them, we know them in and out, we know what they behave, how they behave when they react differently, so we know their overall outlook of life. So we need to ensure that we evaluate them, and we need to evaluate in those areas where we where we think that it's really important now for them to be developed. inshallah. So this is the second E of where we evaluate their, their morals we we mentioned, but how, why is it important, who should do it, when is it required where they need to evaluate the areas of evaluation and how you can evaluate them as well.

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Let's go to the last E, which is empower, what is morals and manners empowerment? Now, this is really important because this is the outcome or the fruits from the educate and evaluate the this the transformation zone or phase that you see your child is empowered with what You have taught them in the first e that is educate, and it's a, it's an effort that comes out as a result for for when you have evaluated them. So your education, your evaluation, has now turned into an empowerment of your child in terms of morals, and manners. So when you see there is a difference between, you know, the time that you taught them, the time that you evaluate them, and now you're seeing a difference.

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So, that is, what is morals and manners and power and beat a small, you know, improvement, that improvement has to be acknowledged, it has to be appreciated, and it has to grow. And it has to multiply why empowerment is important because that gives you the outcome of your effort. The more time that you invest in education, the more time that you're invested in evaluation, now is the time that you see your child is being empowered with morals and manners, he is behaving well with his, you know, elders, he is greeting properly, he is making to our wise he's getting up he is ensuring that he Yeah, that he's being kind to his, you know, younger, you know, siblings, he is doing all

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these things. And when you see this, this is how it shows that it is important for us to empower our child because they are going to be our inheritance in terms of continuous rewards for us even after we depart. When is it required the empowerment is required consistently, because we know shaitan is you know always, you know looking forward to destroy our flock to destroy over you know, manners and motor models. He wants to defeat us perhaps he is not achieving success in in terms of Eamon and I bought that but now he's he's desperate to deviate us to distract us and to destroy us

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with our morals and manners. So we need to empower them consistently timely, and let them feel that they are being charged up. You know in terms of morals and manners, how to empower it, how to empower is a very

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Significant, you no question that we have the with us now,

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when we actually properly evaluate those activities in terms of manners are dub starting from waking up up until he sleeps. So, when we have those areas defined or activities defined, and when we evaluate, we see whether there is improvement or not, then there is a better possibility for us, and it gives actually a point of understanding of how we need to empower our child. So, a proper education and effective evaluation will help us,

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you know, for empowering our children. So, when we actually have that

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approach, it becomes a lot more easier for us to empower our child's morals, and manners. So, the the, the way is, as we mentioned, is number one, we have to be an ideal for them, in order for them to be empowered with morals and manners when they see you behave well you greet Well, you are caring, you are forgiving, you are you know, merciful you are, you know, very active and you are patient and you are, you know, showing gratitude for everything that you have, when they see you, they will emulate you. And when they do it, acknowledge it, appreciate it, reward them, reward them for what they do, they really like it, when they know that they're being rewarded, you know, it's a

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nature, when you have been rewarded, you will feel proud and you will feel that you are doing something really nice and

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children that they get connected with reward system very effectively. So we need to ensure that we empower them by number one, as I said, being an example number two, teaching them all the areas very clearly defining their morals and manners. Number four, we need to facilitate them with the right and supportive environment so that they can practice it. Number five, appreciate and reward them. So this is how we can actually empower our children in terms of morals and manners. We ask Allah subhanho wa Taala that the gifts that He has given us children is our gift from Allah Subhana who Thailand and they are in Amman as well. So these gifts that we have, they become coolness of our

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eyes, and they become productive Muslims. The Muslims have got best morals and manners in the oma so that they can actually become torchbearers. They can show light to those who are in darkness and they can bring people more closer to Islam through their club, through their morals and and manners was Salam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh