Is Your Ramadan Accepted? – How to Make Lasting Change #21

Haleh Banani

Channel: Haleh Banani

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Salam Alaikum and welcome to mindful Ramadan. It's such a pleasure to have you here we made it Ma sha Allah We are at the final stretch just today and tomorrow in sha Allah and how exciting now what I want to know first of all if you're joining in live put hashtag live if you're watching a replay put hashtag replay very small request, but it does us a lot of good so put that in there now and I want to do a little bit of an informal survey. Okay, how many of you feel that this Ramadan was better than the last Ramadan? Okay, so either if it was better, or it was the same or it was worse so if you can put that in the comment section Thank you. Thank you for all just like a love affair

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for your comments

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on the pink hit job Um, let's see. Let's take a informal survey and find out is it better is this Rama was this Ramadan better? Was it the same? Or was it kind of worse you know and I'm getting mixed reactions from people some people are thinking that it was different Okay, so are saying different that was not an option. First Please tell me if you can see me hear me We're all good. Give me a thumbs up give me a thumbs up if you can hear me and see me and then we can okay so many of us SR IV are saying better and have that a lot this Ramadan is better than last year. A good are better Mashallah. Someone is saying it was different. Okay best ever sister said Bina virtual High

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Five good

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well, I feel that it was really an exceptional Ramadan. I think first of all because of the contrast with last year last year, everything was locked down. No massages, no beyond no therapy, nothing. And so in contrast, you know, to to the deprivation we experienced last year everything is exponentially better. And this is maybe part of the wisdom we were taking so much for granted we were maybe going in this kind of autopilot Ramadan mode right or just basically a Thor's and you know, hopping messages and hopping you know, from one fundraiser to the next then and we weren't maybe as mindful and that's why this mindful Ramadan 2021 was really, really insightful. I mean, I

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really experienced that is like a lot of hate on for your sweet comments. slightly better, but everything is closed here. Oh, no open masa, those of you who are still in the lockdown. I understand. It's tough. It's tough. But it's upon Allah. There's Hickman that to last year, when we were in the lockdown, just the fact that we were praying together as a family. Because you know, once once kids are teenagers, they just you know, they take off to their favorite most favorite body favorite, like wherever their friends are. And it was nice to just have everyone gathered in the same place and, and not be in such a rush. So it's it's like a lot of feta and I'm gonna wear more

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pink.

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All right, this a lot. Salaam Alaikum. And welcome to mindful Ramadan. Bismillah was salat wa salam ala rasulillah. So you've all have been exerting yourself, whether it was with the prayer with the you know, with the with all the Ababa, reading the or on going to the masjid or, you know, praying at home, whatever, or making more thought and the big question is, you know, is my Ramadan accepted? And how do I know? How do I know it's accepted? I want to start off with giving you an analogy about how our faith is like, constructing a building. Okay. And if you get this analogy with me, I think it'll really change. Change your view, about yourself about where you are, and, and looking forward

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to what's ahead. Because a lot of times, people have a tendency to be very critical of themselves, right? There is harshness, there's oh my gosh, you know, I didn't do enough and I could have been better and, and in this process may might be comparing, and you feel defeated at the end. And that's not the objective. That's not the objective. Definitely not the objective of mindful Ramadan because I always want to instill optimism. I want to instill bad faith, that feeling of I can move forward. Okay. So if we take our eemaan, right.

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All right. If we can take our eemaan as a as constructing a building, what is the first thing you need when you're constructing a building? What

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is the most important thing. It is creating a foundation, right? We need a foundation, which is our belief in Allah. Right? Our Aveda our, you know, belief in predestination, these beliefs are so critical, right. And if the foundation of a home let's think of like sometimes homes that are made in a third world country, and maybe they don't put as much emphasis, maybe they're not, they don't have the same kind of guidelines or standards that need to be met. And the foundation is a bit flimsy. Alright, what happens, even if they construct a building on it, it falls apart, right. But if the foundation is strong, if you found you've put a nice strong foundation, then you can build on

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it. And that is what we need to make sure that step number one, is having that strong foundation. Now, sometimes, in this process of building a foundation, you may have doubts, you may have information that you're not certain about. And it's so critical to make sure that you do have sound advice. If anytime you have any kind of doubt, you need to get that addressed. Because if if these doubts go unchecked, what ends up happening is that the foundation becomes very flimsy. And little by little, even the most knowledgeable people, if their beliefs are poked enough, you know, if they poke it, maybe from an intellectual aspect, maybe it's from, you know, just instilling doubts and

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questions. And if those are not addressed, then even some of the strongest built in it can it can, you know, falter and it can fall. And that is scary. And we need to make sure that if you come across any kind of doubt, any kind of question in your mind, there is no shame in asking, there's no shame in not knowing the key, there's a shame in not asking and finding out the answers and getting to the truth. Right. So that's something I encourage everybody, we need to first ensure that we have a strong foundation and asked people of knowledge, ask those individuals to answer your questions if you have any form of doubts. Okay. So as I calaca you like the analogy of the emaan with being a

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building a foundation, I really like this as well, because I was thinking what analogy would capture, you know, would capture this the best and I thought that this really does it because then comes the construction of the building. Okay, now is each piece of knowledge that you're acquired is like a brick break in the building. Okay, so as you gain knowledge, you go to a hotbar you gain your piece of knowledge, like I remember, for years, like for 20 years, just you know, attending every lecture writing down the notes, acquiring going to intensive classes, listening to lectures I had, I remember a three hour commute when I was doing my master's program, from Houston to Clear Lake. So

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it was an hour and a half going hour and a half coming back. And so I feel that that time we had tapes, I bought every tape I could on, you know, acquiring the Islamic knowledge and there wasn't the internet back then. So it was really about getting these bits and pieces of information. And as I listened to it, it just like it was building the bricks of this building of the building of the emaan Alhamdulillah. So ensure the quality of the bricks, right make sure that it's solid, make sure you are careful and cautious about where you're seeking that knowledge from he had had a I had this lady and hamdulillah in Ramadan. she embraced Islam Mashallah Tabata kala, some of her, you know,

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her co workers, her employers were actually very good practicing Muslims. And she was impressed by this. She was so impressed. She saw it that they stand there young man, they're standing for prayer. They are worshipping Allah five times a day they they are staying away from so many haram things they are you No, they are fasting during Ramadan, she started fasting with them, she started fasting. And she was just so impressed because I feel amazing. But she said she wanted to speak to a female. So you know, I have the love someone referred to her and gave me my gave me her. Her number. And I spoke with her and what she said and how much she goes all of this makes so much sense to me.

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And she had all the beliefs and Mashallah within, you know, just a few minutes of conversation that other people had already done the hard work, right. It was a low hanging fruit that I was gifted with and have that in law, she took her Shahada. This was just like the first few days of Ramadan. And I told her when you're seeking the knowledge, you know, you can't just do a random Google search, but there's

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A lot of people out there a lot of organizations who are just trying to, you know, destroy your view of Islam. So you have to go to trusted sources, and you have to make sure that the information you're acquiring is, is the truth and it is correct. And so I gave her some, you know, just very trustworthy sources. And I said, you know, seek your knowledge from trustworthy source. And that's what how we ensure the quality of the bricks, okay? Now, each person is at a different level of emotion, right? different level of the mind. And its symbol symbolized by a different floor, right? So you have some people, okay, who are on the first floor, they just got started maybe like this,

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you know, this, this young lady who took her Shahada, she is on your she's actually building her Foundation, right? And then there's those individuals, it's their first floor, they're so excited to get their building set up, okay? while others may be on the eighth floor, okay. And some are finishing their penthouse, right? They're just like, this is the finishing touches. And you have to realize that it's not a competition, okay, it is not a competition, this person who just embraced her, you know, embrace the slum, she's actually more pure than, than we are, because she's like, everything is wiped clean. But she is at the foundation level, right. And she is where she needs to

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be right now. Now another person who is working and, you know, doing the finishing touches on their on their penthouse, right, doesn't mean that they're finished, like, once the building is done, then you know, that's it, I can just, I can just chill, I can relax. And and that's it. No, at building if you know that, in order to maintain a building, it has to have maintenance, regular maintenance, regular cleaning, whether you're checking it all the time, so that you're constantly vigilant up any scratches, anything breaking anything, that is anything that is falling apart, you got to address it immediately. Because if not what happens, you know, there might there might be, if there are

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electrical problems, there might be a fire last summer holla. If there's, you know, there's a weakness in the foundation, there may be issues. So even if you're at that last stage, you have to maintain regularly. And when you realize that it's not a competition, you don't compare your first floor to that person who is like, you know, on on the last floor, because if you do your start feeling defeated, right, there are some people who take on Ramadan. I mean, it is they are really regimented, right, Mashallah. They're very, very regimented. And if you as let's say, a new Muslim, or someone who's building that first floor of the mind, is, you know, comparing your something, I'm,

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I'm terrible, my God, my, where's my emaan, I don't have enough faith and what's wrong with me. But that's not the objective. That's not the objective. And even if we look at it from a psychological perspective, you have to constantly reinforce the positive behavior, you have to see what you're doing, recognize it, and reinforce it by recognizing is by validating yourself, right? A lot of times, we are seeking external validation. And this is where many people get sucked in, they get sucked into this, this need to be validated. And you see that in social media, whether it's, you know, number of followers, whether it's the number of likes, whether it's, you know, in so many

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different ways people are like dying for validation. Sometimes people get involved with hate on relationships, because, you know, they will tell me, well, he was validating, he was giving me compliments that my husband wasn't giving me and, you know, the man will tell me, well, she was really making me feel respected. And she was she was giving me this sense of like, you know, I was feeling very accomplished. This is how dangerous that external validation when we put so much we bank on that external validation, it can take away our emotion, it can take away our reward, it can take away our marriages, it can break everything down. So it's natural to to want some level of

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external validation. We all need it, right? All of us need from time to time to be told, hey, you know, you're doing a great job, Michelle, I appreciate you. We need that right. We're human beings, we're social beings. We, we love that appreciation, right? But if you are, you know, living for it, that's where it becomes dangerous. What we need to do we need to focus on what internal validation internal validation, that is, when we

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recognize what we're doing it's right. And we give ourself that boost, you know, at a psychic Alhamdulillah, I feel good about what I'm doing. This is not about being boastful. So it's not about being full of pride or arrogance, it's none of that, okay? And you know, on my mentorship program, mindful Hearts Academy, I really distinguish between self esteem, and then being arrogant. Because a lot of times people have a hard time, we were just a hard time distinguishing the two. Many times people think that in order to be a humble servant, that means you should have no sense of self, you should like beat yourself up, you don't think you're good at anything. And that that's not actually

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the tradition, if you look at use of na Salaam, he knew his worth, he knew that he is capable, he knows how to do that he asked to be placed in a position of power, because he had the skills, he knew that he could interpret dreams, for instance, right? So if he was like, I am no good, what am I why I have nothing to offer, you know, if someone has that mentality, they will never be able to contribute, right? So it is very critical to build our self esteem in a way that is in

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sync with our Islamic etiology. And that's why self development in an Islamic framework is so critical, right? Because many times if you if you do it with the Western mentality, it's all about, you know, you just manifesting, you're doing your own destiny. And it's all there, there's a lot of concepts that may not go completely in sync. And so having that humility, along with the sense of Hamdulillah, you know, Allah gave me whatever gift it is, and I'm grateful for it. And I'm, but at the same time humble, right? Now, this goes about, like having that internal validation, where you feel good about what it is that you're doing, and you reinforce yourself with that. And when you do

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that, consistently, instead of beating yourself up, I mean, look at the difference, you know, let's say, let's say right now, you didn't achieve your goals. Right? Many of you started off, okay. When

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someone to say it is critical to build our self esteem that is in sync with our Islamic ideology. Yes, it is very, very critical for us to do that. So let's say you started off and you said, many people feel like okay, I want to finish the Koran I want to you know, during Ramadan, my goal is to finish the Koran. Now, many of you have done it, many of you Mashallah may have done it multiple times, right? Some are going wide multiple times, I can barely get through this many chapters, you're at a different stage of your emaan different level of eemaan different floors, remember, and it's not about comparing, it's not about feeling bad about yourself, right? So let's say the person

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who had set out to finish the Koran, and they did it. And right now, they're just like, you know, feeling very defeated. And if they, you know, continuously say things like, you know, what, what is this and why I'm such a bad person, I'm not I have such poor human, I didn't get the fish. How is that going to propel them to take more action, it's not right, it's not going to do it. But if you say, you know what, and hamdulillah I may not have finished the entire bar on but the fact that I did more than I did before Ramadan, then that is an indication to me that I'm in the right direction. And follow with me with this analogy. I've given it a lot of thought. And then I'm going

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to list how you know that your Ramadan is accepted. So we're getting to that in sha Allah. And so when when you are aware of this, that you're not beating yourself up, you're giving yourself internal validation for what you have done, that starts building your self esteem, your feeling of accomplishment, and it's not about being boastful but it's about feeling I'm capable, I'm capable of doing this. And success is going to that next level. Okay. That is the definition of success building the next floor of your mind. Okay, so just the fact that you made progress in your building, okay. It's not about completing the building, maybe some of you thought is all about

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completing reading the Quran, right? And you know, there are some people who like to take it slower. They may you know, maybe Arabic is not their mother tongue and so they have to read it with translation. They have to read the tap see it, and they only did a portion of it. That is great. Right, recognize that as being great. Just the fact that you are doing you are doing more than you did actually before Ramadan. That is excellent. And many people you know, expected to complete the book

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thing. And if they are not on the sixth floor, they give up. And then what's the point? Right? I expect that to be here. I'm not. So I'm a loser, right? So we need to redefine success and failure. And I do this for my clients all the time. And there's a whole lesson on, you know, success and failure on on the mentorship program, which is saying, we have to have a new definition. So success usually is what the ability to achieve your goal, right? So you want to you want to become a doctor, you study, you pass the exams, you become a doctor, that's success, right? failure is an inability to achieve your goals, right? So maybe someone didn't study, they failed the test, right? So what we

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need to do is redefine that I'm going to give you a new definition. And having this new definition is going to empower you and I remember giving this in one of the commencement exercise abode commencement speeches that I gave, and one of the Islamic schools and I read, I said, I'm going to read the fine success and failure, right? Success is the ability to learn, right? So if you learn you, you, let's say you start a business. And even though a went bankrupt, you learn not to expand so quickly, you learn not to have a crooked partner, you learn to stick to let's say, one product at a time. And not to, you know, not to do too many things. At the same time. If you learn that, that's

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success, failure is the inability to learn failure is okay, you get it, maybe you if someone fails at a business, they go bankrupt, but then they repeat the same mistakes. Let's say even if someone gets a divorce, but they learn, they learn how to choose the right spouse, they learn how to be a better person than that is success. Right? So I remember explaining this in this commencement address. And this this man, he was in his 60s, he came up and he was very enthusiastic. He's like, Oh, my God, like, you know, this, this really, this did something for me, I realized now why I have been miserable all my life, 60 years of misery. And I said, What is that is it I was defining

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success and failure wrong. It's like now I know, now I'm gonna define it differently. And I'm gonna feel successful all the time. So as long as you're learning, so in this process, if you learn, okay, I need to manage my time better. I need to, you know, I need to maybe partner up with someone who is more motivated, I need maybe lessons I need to follow someone who you know, can teach me or be an example I need a role model I need a sisterhood you know that we can all do this together. I know that those of you who have been part of a mindful Ramadan, you have been expressing how you know, this is so motivating every day, you're learning Mashallah, we've had amazing scholars and speakers

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sharing their views, giving inspiration, and this is what keeps a person going. Because if you're kind of doing it on your own, you're in isolation, you're not, you're not seeing people because maybe we're on a lockdown, you're not going to the message. And then you're not even a part of a group. And that's why it's so critical to be a part of like minded individuals, you know, they're the GPS is sets agenda, right? You set your GPS agenda, and it's about, okay, I want to go with people I want, I want sisterhood, I want you know, the Brotherhood that is going to take me to my destination. Because if you're if your GPS is set to agenda, but someone is like just constantly

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wants to take you in the opposite direction, hey, forget that, hey, let's go to this party. Let's do that. Let's do this. And then so you're just going to be going in the opposite direction. So you need individuals who are going to push you the My daughter has been encouraging me you know to go for walks and runs right before authority, right? And so it's like Mom, let's go and it's been great Mashallah, we go and this one day, I had spent a lot you know, hours and hours just

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working and I was exhausted. So she's like, let's go and I I said, I'm all I'm really really tired. Like, no, no, we need to go so she's literally pushing me to go and then when we're walking, I go, Okay, well walk today. Okay, no, she's literally pushing me from behind. May Allah be pleased with her for pushing her mama to you know, to exercise and it was great because I'm used to motivating her I'm used to motivating everywhere and she was literally behind me pushing me and I couldn't stop laughing because I was like, okay, like I have to run.

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So sometimes you need that you need someone to be pushing you you need someone to just like to you're getting tired, you're getting lazy. You're getting like you know, distracted and need someone to say hey, come on. Remember our goal. Remember where we're going and that will make such a difference, right. So

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So we talked about the redefining the success and failure. And when you do that, then you're going to be at ease. You're going to feel good about whatever it was that you learn during this Ramadan. And I want you to ask yourself, okay, ask yourself, did you learn to have a closer relationship with Allah? Did you increase? Did you increase your worship? Did you stay away from sins? Did you read more on? Did you pray more? Did you, you know, make more to oz? And if you answer yes, then you have built that next floor, in your house of Ilan, built that, okay? And you're you may not be at the penthouse, you may not be on the eighth or 10th floor, but you build the next floor of your house of

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Oman, and you should be happy about that you should be, you know, grateful and you should be, you should feel the sense of accomplishment. Because as long as you're moving forward, right, as long as you're moving forward, you're headed in the right direction. And sometimes we just want to get there we just want like a penthouse or bust right? But we can't we got to take it one step at a time. I have to be patient with ourselves. We have to be patient with the process. Our heart is constantly changing. We have so many distractions we have so many trials and tribulations that are happening to us I mean as an oma as you know as everything that is happening around the world. So it's it's

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difficult sometimes to stay on track but the fact that you did that you need to acknowledge it. Okay, now if you answered no to these questions like no I don't really feel closer I didn't do much more worship I still fall into sin I didn't really read the four on then don't beat yourself up make a commitment to just a little each and every day okay to do a little bit more alright maybe maybe your Ramadan didn't go the way you plan maybe you had your kids home there was a lockdown there was you know, illnesses maybe you know, there's some I saw a sister at beyond last night she said I could tell there's sadness in her eyes. I'm like, are you okay? First time she just tried to play it

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off as Yeah, I'm good. I'm like no, I see sadness I read people for a living so I sense sadness in your eyes. And she told me as my mom has been in the hospital so if you're at the hospital taking care of your you know, sick mother or you're worried about her or you know, you have kids who are going through certain challenges or you have you know, you've lost your job and it's understandable you're not going to be as focused but recognize that you can now right make a commitment Okay, I missed out on maybe this training camp I missed out on this but now I'm going to make a difference in the rest of the year. I'm going to actually make a commitment to one idea day I'm going to like

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even if it doesn't have to be a lofty goal. I'm going to keep my connection to the bar on I'm going to make sure I pray my five prayers I have so many clients I have that they just they stopped praying they'll tell me I you know I used to pray consistently but I saw so just the fact that you make a commitment I'm going to pray my prayers I'm going to pray I'm on time that in itself is an accomplishment that in itself feels great so when someone is saying I have been I've been sick almost all Ramadan fasting and praying but didn't pray Tara we and read so much as last year that's understandable. You're sick you have you know actually Allah is so merciful and in the verse about

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the about Ramadan is saying that, you know, if you are sick, if you're traveling, if you have an excuse, you have a legitimate excuse, then you know, you're exempt me You can you can pay a foreigner you can make up for it. And he says it was not meant a lot of thought want to make things hard for you. So there is such mercy. There's such mercy upon Allah. And yes, you set your GPS agenda, and you focus on going there and make sure you have your partners people pushing you right, literally pushing you so you don't slack off. All right. And so how do you know now getting to the topic that I'm sure you all were waiting for is how do you know you're Ramadan is accepted? Right?

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So when you take an exam like the MCAT gra Elsa, you can't wait to get the results right. And sometimes you have to wait for weeks and months to get the results right. in Ramadan though, you get the results instantly. How is that you get the results instantly and it's been

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I am.

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Okay. indicated that

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I'm happy. And if I am said the acceptance of an act shows in its continuation. Okay, so you want to know, if you're all this Ababa that the was the prayers, the reading over on all that your fasting has been accepted? See if it continues, is there a continuation? Right? has your life changed? Even a little bit? Right? Again, we're not trying to go from the first floor to the 10th floor, we're taking it one floor at a time. Are you on that next floor? Are you making improvement? Did you get a little bit better to have a better character? You know,

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one of the focus of mindful Ramadan this year was character counts, we are taking our worship and making our character better. Because as I said, at the beginning of this month, we have plenty of people who have knowledge, we have plenty of people with long beards and you know, full on head job, we have plenty of people who have degrees and certificates. And, you know, it goes on and on and on. But what ends up happening is that you see that these very people make some really grave mistakes, these very people whose a bar that their worship is as a long list of you know, a bar, that long list of worship, and yet, they will backbite they will slander, they will ruin reputations, they

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will attack they will, you know, they will go and secret plot and plan and they do all of these things. So did the worship, make them a better person, if they didn't make a cog, like a conscious effort to improve their character. And if it was just the list of things, I got my degree, I got my this, I did that, and they stop there. That's when a person can falter even when they have knowledge even when they have gotten acquired so much. So we have to see if our focus is Ramadan was to have a better character? Are you are you more patient? When dealing with your spouse? When you're dealing with your kids? When you're you know, when you're just going about life? Are you more patient? Are

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you less angry? Are you less judgmental? Or, you know, have you stopped looking at people and thinking, you know, why aren't they doing this, and I'm so much better because I do this and they don't do this and why? And we got to really shift gears that mentality is very immature, it looks like a person who is spiritually spiritually just void and spiritually immature. If you constantly need to get that feeling of satisfaction from bringing out other people, really the most insecure people are the ones who have to bring other people down, right? There has there's a lot of just

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a lot of stuff going on in that heart, it hasn't been purified, it hasn't the internal work has not been done. And when someone has not done the internal work, and they're insecure, then they will be very judgmental. So the most judgmental people are the most insecure people, the people who will bash others are the ones who feel so bad inside about themselves, that the only way they can feel better is by taking someone else down. So be aware of that. Be aware of that the next time you find others bashing individuals because that is an indication of low self esteem, low spiritual, low spiritual awareness and enlightenment right? Are you more loving? Are you showing more affection to

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the people around you? Right? And what are your feelings about Ramadan? Another way to realize whether your marathon has been accepted or not? Are you sad when it comes and glad when it's over? Okay. Some people are like that some people are a little bit puzzled about the excitement, the countdown, all of that right now, if you're sad when it comes in, you're kind of cloud off I can't wait to go back to my regular schedule right? Then we need to work on that foundation No need to beat yourself up just recognize you're still at foundation level and somehow the foundation is is missing is missing certain, you know elements and you need to work on that right now. Are you happy

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when Ramadan comes and sad when it's over? Right. And I know when doing during the playoffs and during one of the last

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one of the last doors right? It was it was just heartbreaking because wreck

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noticing that this Ramadan is coming to an end, and I had another feeling and it was really probably one of the first times that I had it in such a profound way because we did lose five family members. Within a few months it was this feeling like what if this is my absolute last roundabout now I know we say that all the time, but it's different when you truly feel it and you really feel Oh my god, what did you put into this? The last time I get to do Punahou it What is it? It's the last sujood I do. Right? And if you are happy about it coming and sad that it's nd that is a sign of your Ramadan being accepted. Another sign of how your Ramadan is being accepted is how do you celebrate eat?

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Okay, how do you celebrate eat? Now for some eaters, like Whoo, like, you know, you're just like, Alright, let's get back let's party, let's get to all the things I used to do. And there's what knee and there is, you know,

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there might be mixing there may be all sorts of things going on on E that is completely contrary to the way you spent the month. Right? So yes, it is a day of happiness, but it's also a day to please Allah. So what we need to recognize, okay, what we need to recognize that during happy occasions, we increase our worship of Allah. Right. So if you think about it, like in weddings, there's an extra hot button Joe mother's a hot button. When there's a there's a there's a prayer and extra prayer. So we need to really change our association to fun, okay, and you know, sometimes that has to be done with even healthy eating right? A lot of times we associate having a fun time with junking out? How

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many times have you thought about Okay, we're gonna we're gonna junk out now and, and now we have family together, or some movie night or whatever it is, and you associated to junk, right? And as you become healthy, and this has been a mission of ours, my husband and I are a family. And now on the healthy with Hala, and the Muslim health, healthy Muslim women, it's all about changing our association to what is fun, and and what is healthy, right. And so you can celebrate and still eat healthy things. And that association needs to be changed. And so we need to do that with celebration with parties with you know that it is still in sync with what pleases Allah, we declare our

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happiness by doing that which pleases Allah not doing that which displeases him, so a whole month of worship, of fasting of prayer of God and then you end up let's say, dressing in a way that it would be displeasing to Allah, acting in a way that would be displeasing and that this just doesn't line up, right? So be conscious of Alon the day of eat and show the gratitude, right? And recognize that eat is a day of obedience. So continuing the prayers, right? continuing the prayers that are on the beyond, that is an indication that your Ramadan is truly, truly accepted. And we see Ramadan as a training program, and Allah says, Yeah, yo holla Dina Emmanuelle Kota Bali como si,

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si amo camera quality Baladi enamel, bobbin, lick online, Lakhan, Poon, or you who believed, decreed upon you as fasting as it was decreed upon those before you that you may become righteous. So ask yourself, okay, ask yourself, Am I more righteous than I was before Ramadan? Am I making a little more effort to hold it together? Am I being a little more pleasant? Am I smiling more? Am I

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being more helpful? Am I more charitable? Have I done anything to be more righteous? And if the answer is yes, then that's a good sign. Now we need to just you know, we need to continue it. And insert pocket io 185. Allah says, the Ramadan, the month of Ramadan, in which was revealed that we're on a guidance for the people and clear proofs of guidance and criterion. So whoever cites the moon, the new moon the month, let him faster and whoever is ill or on a journey than an equal number of other days, Allah intends for you ease and does not intend for you hardship for the sister who said she was sick this whole time and wants for you to complete the period and to glorify Allah, for

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that which he has guided you in perhaps you will be grateful. So the verse that is talking about Ramadan, about fasting about all our you know, attaining our taqwa it is associated with gratitude. And you see that through deprivation, you have more appreciation. And we see that every day when we you know, we break our fast the amount of appreciation we have, it's it's incredible.

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So this is this is what needs to be happening. We have to have more gratitude we have to have hosts than of Allah, I think the best of Allah that He is capable of doing anything. And I know that it it seems very heartbreaking what we're seeing around the world with our brothers and sisters in mustard and Aqsa in, in China, in Boerma in Kashmir, we have so much happening to our own mind that it is truly heartbreaking. But we have to have holes in the thought of Allah, we have to be optimistic. And we have to realize that everything is happening in the perfect manner, it is happening for a reason. And recognize where you're at and your level of emotion and just focus focus on building

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that next floor of your mind. And even if you are at that penthouse and you have, you know, built it and you're happy and you're accomplished, know that that takes maintenance, that you can't just leave it and you can't just ignore it for years it has to have daily maintenance. And I really urge all of us, all of us to really open up our hearts and really work on ourselves, not just during the month of Ramadan but this is a year long process. And it was really the two Ramadan's ago when I started my mentorship program the mindful Hearts Academy to help everyone to maintain the rhythm the momentum because you know I know many of you are sad that it's ending I know I was sad when you know

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it was the last you know the last beyond and that feeling of oh my gosh, it would have been so nice to maintain. And and it is critical for us to keep that momentum going to have a group of like minded individuals Remember I said sometimes you need someone to be pushing you from the back and and making you go forward and focus on your on your goal of the GPS being set to Jenna. And this like minded sisterhood that we have on the mindful Hearts Academy and the program about rebuilding yourself building that self esteem, learning the emotional intelligence, all of the things that really helps you to form a beautiful character by we look at the example of the Prophet sallallahu

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alayhi wa sallam and how impeccable his character was how beautiful how he had wisdom in every difficult situation. And sometimes we need to know the how to how do we establish that because when we just hear have tacos sister have patients brother Don't get angry. We need to know the How to we need to step by step and that's what I provide on the mindful Hearts Academy. If you know you want to give a gift that keeps on giving for yourself on a gift to yourself and invest in yourself get a lifetime membership to the mindful Hearts Academy if you are watching your brother for you know get a gift that keeps on giving for your sister for your mother for your wife, you know for any female

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that you know, because this is a gift of transformation. This is a gift of serenity. This is a gift of emotional intelligence. This is a gift of self esteem. You can't beat that. I don't care what bag what cute bag you can get with what gifts that are inside. Nothing compares to the gift of you know internal peace. Nothing compares to having a feeling of self worth because I've known women who were multimillionaires and they wanted to commit suicide. So it's not the what you possess. It is what you feel inside and doing the internal work so give me the pleasure and the honor of helping you in this mentorship program. We will open registration after aid in short love but you can put your name

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on the on the waiting list and you will be able to be a part of this amazing program. And we are almost there with our goal we set out to raise hamdulillah $30,000 for the refugees for the homeless Muslims of Dallas and Masha Allah so many of you have been so generous and just like a lot of hate on 100% of the you know of the donations goes to the needy. And we are at I believe last time we checked 27,000 Okay, so a little bit under $3,000 and we will reach this goal help them to have a beautiful eat inshallah individuals who you know may not be able to do anything for their kids, they will be able to you know, celebrate it like the rest of us and have have a nice meal and have

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something to look forward to. So I appreciate all your help I appreciate you know you guys coming each and every day and and you know we are since we found out that it is a no

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30 days of fasting or I'm we'll have one more tomorrow in sha Allah which will be our, our final one. Correct. All right, and once this thing nothing compares to the gift of internal peace it's not what you possess. It's about your internal work. It's just like a lot head on. Yes. So in sha Allah I will I you know, I promised that I would announce the winners on the final day so I thought it would be today but we got news that ate this I believe they said most likely because it's 30 days it's going to be on Thursday. So tomorrow join me again and we will have more inspiration more you know just being on the right you know on the having the right mindset for you know, Ramadan and

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beyond, right so we did an amazing job and handle if you didn't do an amazing job, it's okay, you're going to you're going to get more amazing you're going to build those floors of your building, you know that the emaan that you're building and and the key is to keep progressing forward. So thank you so much I'd like to just end up with some die you're like give us sincerity in all the deeds that we do y'all Allah help us to only to work for your sake and for nothing else your law remove any form of nothing from our hearts your law remove any kind of hatred animosity, jealousy envy, from our hearts to Allah help us to purify our hearts help us to be an example a shining light your

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IP Allah help us to be a source of comfort to others yeah Allah. Let others only see goodness from us and we only pass on head, your IP Allah May Allah help us to increase our knowledge, increase our good deeds and to really be on this straight path and to keep our hearts on this truth I yamaga live in Tibet Alpena Allah Teaneck and your Allah help us to have the best ending your Allah let our last days be our best days y'all Allah help us to end with the Shahada and your Allah help us to be the best of example to beautify our character and to emulate the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam your Allah help us in in our marriages you Allah help us to have a peaceful home help us to see the best

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in our spouse Yala. Help us to overcome any difficulties any obstacles y'all Allah, don't let us fall into the traps of the shaytaan where he will entice us with enmity in our homes y'all Allah help us to fight the shaytaan and help us to build that peaceful home the way that you intend to live with Gianna by Nicole my word that I want to help us to establish the mawatha and the Rama in our homes your ally Allah protect our spouses and give them guidance and give them strength and give them good health and for those who are searching for a spouse y'all look red thumb righteous spouses you're up y'all Allah Allah protect our children and guide them in the straight path Allah keep them

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strong on the straight path Allah help them to love the deen y'all Allah help us to instill love and excitement for the deen y'all Allah to remove harshness from our way of parenting Allah remove this sense of the ultimatums and the and pushing them away from the deen your Allah help us to have the rock may help us to have the compassion help us to have the understanding to know how to raise our children with wisdom with compassion with love and help us to raise children who are leaders leaders in their in their communities leaders and amongst their friends y'all Allah help them to be on the straight path you're up all our youth y'all love those who are struggling with mental health y'all

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lokai all our brothers and sisters who are struggling with mental health y'all love those who have lost hope y'all instill hope in them y'all love those who are anxious and who have obsessive thoughts y'all law relieve them of this obsession y'all love help us to help those who are in need y'all to help us to be more compassionate. Allah help us to have mercy Allah remove the judgment from our hearts your love. Remove the arrogance that does not have an ounce of arrogance in our heart. Y'all Allah help us to really work for your cause and not for our own sake you're up you're loyal up help our brothers and sisters throughout the world y'all love Please remove the oppression

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for the people of the Palestine and and most of them

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y'all like give them Subodh give them strength give them give them the optimism to know that there will be good that will come out of this y'all Allah help the our brothers and sisters in in China help our brothers and sisters in India.

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Kashmir in India yarrabah cure the people in India aware of so many people who have passed away from this illness your love remove remove the difficulties remove the illness remove the pandemic y'all Allah Allah please protect our brothers and sisters and all around the world y'all up y'all law and help us to be a shining example y'all help us to stay steadfast on our Deen y'all Allah help us to maintain our prayers maintain our dogs maintain our reading of the Koran and y'all Allah help us to have the beautiful character that is supposed to come from from Ramadan and from our worship, your love, thank you for all the blessings that you have showered us with and your love thank you for

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even the difficulties because it is building us and y'all Allah thank you for giving us the opportunity to help one more Ramadan. And may we experienced many more Ramadan's and just like Allah Hayden said on my econ

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just talk a lot Hayden I appreciate all of you and hamdulillah Al Hamdulillah that we have made it to the end of this Ramadan and inshallah that we stay motivated and and that we you know, we end really we end strong it's not over yet you know, a lot of people have stopped coming to the messages they have stopped with the Avada it's not over you know, we still have we still have today we still have tomorrow. So really and finish straw, right? I saw this clip of of you know, runners and this runner she was at the very back all right, and this is like the it was labeled the best comeback ever. And she was way at the back and you know, she could have just said Oh, it's over. That's it.

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I've lost it's but what does she do she when the strongest at the end, okay, so she started running and so she went from being third she kept coming coming coming in, she passed up the second person she kept going she didn't give up and she was running so fast. And then she beat the person in the front and she won the race and now we're not competing with anyone we're competing with ourselves. So don't give up the race is not over. We got to keep on pushing ourselves and it's all low recognize what you have done already. And inshallah you know donate for the cause of Southern Nigeria. There's there's a link I'm sure and and also, you know, give the gift of self esteem

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worthiness, emotional intelligence, either to yourself or to a woman that you love inshallah, and join the mindful Hearts Academy. So Sokoloff Hayden and Salaam Alaikum

Is Your Ramadan Accepted? - How to Make Lasting Change #21
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