Channel: Ahmed Hamed
Day 5- How to do Social Development
Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa salatu salam ala rasulillah Karim? What Allah Allah He was happy he is marrying our ultimate let him in a shaytani r rajim Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim. robina habla Naaman as vergina was Maria Tina kurata. Even was Tina mama from Alicia uncle Emery, aka Dr. Melissa nia. Ali, my dear brothers and sisters, welcome, again to our fifth session of how to make our children's summer most productive? Well, Hamdulillah, we have, you know, covered many aspects of this program. You know, starting from the day one, we have
taken a look of what is Islamic, you know, productivity or what is productivity in an Islamic perspective, we talked about in the day one, how the program and what the program will be all about. We also mentioned, why is it so important for all of us, as parents, especially, are particularly in summer. And we also mentioned how our approach is going to be the three E's to five W's and one edge approach. And in day two, we talked about 10, golden rules of parenting, in general, and which also, you know, helps us to take care of our parenting In summary, as well. So, we also talked about the introduction of five key areas where which we defined, to be focused, and to be able to, you know,
cover those areas and develop our children in those areas. In day three, we talked wholly about spiritual productivity, our spiritual development, we talked in detail about it, how is it? Why is it you know, important, and we mentioned that spirituality should be the number one priority of parents when it comes to children's development. So that is what we talked about in day three, or session three, day four, we talked about morals and manners, development, that is really, really an important element of Islam as Muslims, we need to ensure that we have to develop our children's morals and manners and make them you know, a pious generation. So that is what we have covered so
far. In today's session in sha Allah bit, what by the will of Allah subhanahu wa Tada, we shall talk about social development. Now. Social Development is again, a very important area for our children, because, as we know, they cannot live alone. They have friends, they have relatives, they have, you know, their own parents, their siblings, their neighbors and the rest. So we need to ensure that our children, they learn about the social development, Allah subhanho wa Taala says in the Quran, about our creation, that we all were created from a single pair of male and female, and then we made into nations and tribes, Allah made people into nations and tribes. So that Allah says the reason why is
it you know, divided or why is it raised into different nations and tribes, a lot of Buddha he gives a reason Lita irazu, so that you may know each other, you may understand each other, you may recognize each other. So, social development is very much to do with this, that we know each other, we understand each other, we fulfill the rights of each other, we perform the duties towards others, and we enjoin the rights that we have by others. So, that is what is all about social development is, so again, as we are, you know, forming an approach of three E's to five W's and white one edge, we should begin in the similar fashion. So, first, we have among the three E's, I'm sure by now, you
are quite familiar with this approach of three E's to five W's and one h one, E is educate the second e h, e is evaluate and the third E is empower. So educate, evaluate, empower, and five W's and one edge as we know it is what is it? Why is it when is it Who is it and where is it? And the bigger question and that is how is it so in terms of service
Development let us begin with the first e that is educate, so, what is social development when our child is able to connect with others, carrying those morals and manners, having that element of spirituality, that is what social development is, that is what we see in our children and, and when he actually manifest that or when you make it obvious, that he is very well connected, and his were about a smooth he is, you know, for example, blending very well with others, that is what we we see that as a social development, why is it important, it is really important for a simple reason, as we said, because we cannot live alone, neither of our children can live alone, they need companions,
they need people around them, they need, you know, to talk to others, they need to live with others, they need to move with others. So, for that reason, if they actually develop socially, it becomes a lot more easier for them to move in the society, what does it require, this is the right time again, to highlight the importance of social development. So,
we could, you know, share those areas of how they can actually get into the development of, you know, in terms of social, you know, being how they can actually make the most of their life in terms of connecting people. So, this is the right time that you can actually utilize again in summer, teach them things which are required in order for them to be developed socially, that is what we'll talk about, in in the following question. So who should develop it? Again, this comes on our shoulder, parents, they need to be connected with the society, with the neighbors, with, with their relatives, with their own parents, with their, you know, friends and acquaintances. So that will
obviously have an impact on children. So we should develop social, socially, our children, this is our responsibility, again, where we need to develop, we need to actually find out pockets or areas where we see the development is required in children's lives. And and we should take care of those areas. And in the following question, that is how to develop, you know, socially our children that will cover the power of what are those areas that we have to connect them, you know, socially. So, for example, the question, the bigger question is how to develop our children socially. Now, what I would request you all to write down these areas, or our activities or things that will help or
enable our children to develop socially. For instance, the first thing is greeting, you know, saying Assalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu make sure that number one, you teach them, the salon in a proper way. So
when they actually learn salon, when they know the meanings of our salon, because it is just not a greeting, it is a prayer in it is a prayer in it is is a doula that we actually give to people. So our children should be taught how to pronounce a Salam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh this greeting is such a powerful greeting that it connects people socially. It brings that love, it bonds, you know each other because it invites the prayer, you know, and it invites the vicious, the goodwill, or the good hopes that a person has for the other. So that is a very, very powerful tool. So observe in a way that it does your kid greets you, the moment he sees you for the first time in
the morning. Does your Do you greet the moment? When you get into the home? Do you
get a response of your greeting, you know, when you greet or do you give the response when your child greets? These are the things that are really, really important that it connects socially, socially.
development in begins as in home, when they actually socially connected with you, with you as a father with you as a mother, with with, with their siblings, with their brothers and sisters, with their neighbors, with their relatives with their grandmothers, great grandpa, you know, parents, all these is a wider spectrum, right? So but it all begins right in the home, social development of children it begins in the home. So in the home, is he for example, waking up the morning he seeing you for the first time in the morning? Does he say Salaam to you? Or do you say salam to him or not? Most of the things most of the time, we know that. We take it for granted. We don't say Salaam, the
first time that we see our kid, you know, in our homes. You know, early in the morning, we have to make a practice my brothers and sisters, in order to make ourselves and our children develop socially. We need to have this quality and develop this quality, with consistency that we should keep on reading as Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he said, make the greeting common and wide for all the people and make it popular make it famous. So the more you read, the more you actually pray, the more you pray, the more your bondage becomes, you know stronger and deeper. So, that is the first thing that they should under you should teach them to greet first of all they should know
what is that greeting Assalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. Number two, they should know the meaning. So you should teach them what does a celebrity illegal means, what does
warahmatullah He means what does a wabarakatuhu means. So when you have these three aspects of Salaam, you know Rama and Baraka, these are the three beautiful aspects, you know, the peace, the mercy, and the blessing, this is a powerful way to connect with each other, because it involves and connects you to Allah subhanaw taala. And when Allah subhanaw taala is involved in your relationship, then you will love each other for the sake of Allah, the love will never die, the respect will always grow, the development will always flourish. So we need to ensure that we teach them and we also practice it, this habit of greeting people, greeting our children, let them greet
whoever comes in, you know, as Prophet salallahu alaihe salam, he said the best of you is the one who leads to the one whom he know and whom he does not know. So, most of the times what happens is when we go out with our children, our neighbors are passing by, you know, he's a Muslim, we just don't greet him, we just go on and on and our lives and we go to the masjid, we don't even greet anyone, we go to our relatives, we don't greet. So, this habit is really, really
required to be changed, and it has to be replaced with a greeting and a very conscious greeting that we are actually praying to allow for our brother or sister or mother or father or children or relatives, neighbors friends, whoever right. So, this is the first thing, second thing which we need to understand is smiling, you know, Social Development also
should appear on your face. So, you should teach your children to always carry a smiling face, you know, a prophet sallallahu Sallam says, he you know, have a smile on your face, the brother is a charity and when you smile back is a charity. So, you should encourage people to our children to to carry a smile, to have a pleasant face. And that you know owns the reward of a charity as well as it also helps people to connect very quickly, you will see people who are smiling, they also spiked because mind is contagious, right. So teach our children to be always you know, carry a lighter smile, a natural smile, and that gives the pleasant outlook of you know, their person personality.
So, that is another thing. The third thing is speaking so you should make your child or your children learn the manners and morals of how to speak and that connects them socially. So what are the choice of words that they should use? You know, what kind of gestures that they should have? What kind of facial expression that they give, you know, all these things? It counts a lot. What are the choice of words that they use? Are they using arrogant words? Are they using Arabic?
respective, you know, words, are they using, you know, not very nice words, what are they doing so you need to evaluate and understand their speech as well because what you what they speak, it has an impact socially, right.
That's another way of you know how to give up our children socially, another way is making friends you know, this, you should encourage them, you should appreciate them to make more friends, the more friends that they have, the more possibility for them obviously, good friends, that it becomes more possible that they learn more that they understand more that they you know,
gain more socially. So, those who are more socially you will see people have more friends. So, that is one of the signs or evidence of they are actually you know, social. So, make new new friends and if they have existing friends, ask them to bring you know, home, this is the summer of vacation, if they are available in country, you know, organize a party for them for the friends and you give a kind of a naseeha to all the friends because your child or your children are living with them throughout the year, right the whole day, they are living with them. So you invest in a party is worthwhile when it comes to return of investment, that you are giving an advice and you are also
connecting with your children's friends. And you will also get to know what kind of friends your child or children have. That is another powerful way of how you can develop your, you know, child. So
another way is make sure that social development has a certain obstacles, for example, your child is backbiting, which means he's talking ill and bad about his friends. So you should ensure that you teach them not to speak anything about anyone, any time behind their backs.
Social Development is curbed when, when they have when they develop these qualities of speaking bad about others, or complaining about others, you know, things like that. So you need to also ensure that you prevent them from certain things that will, you know, make them away from the development of social way. And another way is, you can encourage them to speak to their neighbors, speak to your neighbors, and and let them know their names, let them play with them. If they have kids, you know, things like these will also encourage and help them to develop socially, and make sure that they they speak for example, if your parents are not here, and they are away, let them speak to their
great grandparents, let our children get connected with our parents, let them speak often Alhamdulillah by the will of Allah Subhana husana we are living in an age where the where the reach to reach out anybody anywhere is so simple and fast and quick, right? And it is cost effective as well. So make sure that you take out time at least once a week or a couple of times a week, let them speak to their grandparents and their elders, their their arms, their ankles, you know, this will help them to develop socially. Another way is to help them develop socially is take them to a hospital visit for example. Perhaps if you have someone who is sick, that's the best way to take
them. And, you know, teach them that when you visit a sick that shows that this is one of the rights that we as Muslims have over other Muslims to visit when he is ill, or sick, right. So this is another way of creating an environment and telling them in practice that this is a social development we have to care about others and one thing is which is really really important for us to understand is Allah subhanho wa Taala has, has made this this oma the owner of prophets at a level and even sell them as a higher oma as Allah say spoon to Hydra mutton reject leanness, you have the best of the people and illnesses, aka rigid, leanness, you have been raised for the benefit of
mankind. This is social developments.
panela social development is so much there within Islam, that it allows you, it empowers you, it reminds you
to do it, and prophets lucem he said the most, the best of you is the one who is Most Beneficent for others. So things like these, the eye are like this, you know, the Hollies like this helps us realize that how important social development is, for ourselves and for our children, you know, to develop, so take them to your relative while he was sick, or to do a hospital where people are lying, give them gifts, and let your child gives a gift to someone whom you perhaps don't know, even, you know, it doesn't matter, as long as they learn this, that's, that's great. So,
another way is to
allow them and give them an opportunity to pay charity. So, you give them for example, you know, $10 or tell them whatever you want, give them and let them give charity to poor, when they give charity give them a lesson with that, let them know that this charity is not a favor, but a duty that we as Muslims have, because this is from Allah and we are giving for the sake of Allah and it is it will be given back to us by Allah subhanho wa Taala. So, you actually giving a practical demonstration of how social development is important and how you have an obligation or responsibility over others as charity habit is also a beautiful thing. Helping others you know, perhaps, he is not need of money
is not enough, you know anything, but you just need he just needs your help in some way or the other. So, help them and let your child or children we will have part of that help and let them understand that this help is a duty not a favor again. Because this is what our religion our Deen teaches that to be you know, there for the help of others because if you help the servants of a lot the Muslims, Allah will help you, if you are kind to them, Allah will be kind to you, if you forgive them, Allah is gonna forgive you. So, all these aspects will help us realize to develop social socially Another way is volunteer in the masjid For example, we know that handler in the UAE in
Dubai, there are massages which are well maintained, but perhaps it may require some time some cleaning some something to to do so, let your child or children help and facilitate those people of the management of the of the master to to you know, clean something. So, when you when you do some volunteer work, be it you know, Masjid, maintenance, or any event, Islamic event management or anything, they will feel, you know, responsible and they will feel that they are doing something for the community, something good for the community, something beneficial for the community. So, this is a beautiful, you know, tip again, to help them develop socially. Another way is to help them feed
people, you know, go to some camp and arrange, you know, a dinner or lunch for example, for 20 people 30 people depending on how much you want to give, and let them be a part of that campaign. And then teach them that this feeding thing is you know, what, it basically reminds us about the hadith of Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that he said the best of you is the one who feeds people who feeds people. So, this is a great reward of doing so. So, again, we are not doing any favor, we are doing the duty. So, when they see this experience, they're exposed to this environment, they are going to develop big time in sha Allah
These are some of the ways that how you can actually develop them, you know, socially, let us go to the second e it that is evaluate what is social evaluation. So, you basically post questions what
you know and first of all, you basically understand the status of social development in your child or children, are they breathing? Are they connecting? Are they speaking to people or are they silent or are they doing this and that, so, these are the things that you need to actually understand that what is their social evaluation is and then the second question is why is it important, unless you evaluate you will not know what is the level of your
Child. So evaluation in all the areas is really, really important, when is it required is the right time you are more closer to your kid you are more,
you know, spending time with with them, and you observe more and this is the right time to do so, although there is no fixed time, it's it's an ongoing journey. But yes, when they are more available to you, this is the right time, who should develop it again, it goes back to you and me that As parents, we must do it. We know our children, well, as we discussed earlier, as well. We know they're in and out, we know what they behave, how they behave, why they behave, we know all aspects of it. So it is we are the best party to evaluate them rather than second or third party. And we need to evaluate we need to evaluate in all those areas, which we talked about where the development
is required, how to evaluate it is very important, as we mentioned, to evaluate, you must ask questions, you must ask questions. For example, my son Abdullah, why didn't you agreed? So he says no, I don't know. Is it really important to greet or not? Amina? Why'd Why did you agree? You see, I don't have to greet every time. So if you get if you ask questions, you they will you will get these kind of responses, when you get these responses, you can actually evaluate and teach them back again, to understand that this is important and this is has to be done. So the first thing is, you know, make, ask, ask questions to them. And then to observe after asking question, observe them, are
they doing it or not? That is, again, a very powerful way how you can actually evaluate your child or children, that you observe, you observe, and then you facilitate them, you facilitate, and you evaluate them by providing a facility or an environment that supports them to actually practice those things. So, these are some of the ways that you can actually, you know, share with them in terms of how they can be evaluated, let's go to the third E and that is M power, what is social empowerment, the social empowerment is something which is very much visible in our children's life, when they are able to greet speak, you know, connect and talk and move with the society with the
friends with the neighbors, perfectly. So when you have proper education, right evaluation, you will see social empowerment, why is it important, it is important because we are meant for that, as we said, Allah says in the Quran, Lee region, as you have been raised for the mankind for the benefit of mankind. So they need to understand that they are not living for themselves, but they are living for themselves, for their family and for the rest of the humanity. This thought process that they have to be brought up with this is really important, that they have to understand that they are meant for themselves, for their families and for the humanity at large. That is why it is important,
when is required, this is the right time that you can take,
you know, more focus more energy, more time, more, you know, efforts to make their social empowerment, who should develop it, again goes back to a un mean that we have to develop them. And we have to empower them by appreciating them by, you know, linking their habits, with rewards, with with gifts and with the motivations and with good choice of words that we use for them, nice praises for them time to time again. And that's how we basically play a role where we need empowerment those areas that we have mentioned, they need to have that empowerment in those areas, how to empower number one make dua as we said, for everything as Muslims, we parents, we make dua to Allah subhanho
wa Taala that will empower my child socially spiritually, you know, morally you know, in terms of manners. So, we first we make dua to we devise a plan, we devise a plan how our child can develop socially, right. And third, we basically develop a strategy like how, you know, one of the ways is, you know, attending or joining and listening to this session, for example. So, this is another way of how you can actually evaluate or empower your child inshallah.
Another powerful way to empower them is to number one as we said, Make dua number two, you know, devise a plan number three, deliver, you know, develop a strategy number four, you know, demonstrate for them, demonstrate for them, as
As an example for them to follow, this is one of the finest and the most effective way for them to learn or empower socially. So when you greet them, they will greet you. When you see when you when they see you greeting, everyone who is coming in and out, is they will do it. When you see your own spouse, when you are greeting your own spouse properly with a nice pale smiling face and all they are going to observe and they will get this in their subconsciousness and when they practice, you know over and over again, it becomes a conscious, you know, have that and that's how we can actually empower our children socially. We ask Allah Subhana Allah again to to help us take care of our gifts
and make them coolness of our eyes and make them the leaders of the conscious.
And we ask Allah Subhana Allah to help us all, effectively practice what we are learning and accept our efforts, as we do it only for the sake of Allah subhanho wa Taala was Salam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh