Issues of Marriage #12

Adnan Rajeh

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Channel: Adnan Rajeh

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AI: Summary © The speaker discusses the importance of preserving and honoring the definitive conditions of marriage, which are the conditions that make it possible for a woman to become married. The speaker emphasizes the need to be mindful of the conditions and not make it difficult for the woman to achieve them. The speaker also warns against making it difficult for the woman to achieve and suggests that it is a natural habit to avoid certain aspects of the marriage.
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And

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the topic of issues of marriage is what

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I'm kinda trying to cover here. Covering different

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aspects of that. Not just the pursuit of

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it and the importance of that but also

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the, the sanctity of of, preserving it and

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and the, etiquette of doing that as well.

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I think it's something important for all of

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us. This is a very short hadith but

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it's extremely meaningful. This is what he says

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out of his soul as salamu qalam.

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Meaning the conditions that are most worthy

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And tu fubihi that you fulfill.

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The most

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The conditions that are worth the most attention

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and the ones that you have to be

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most careful regarding in terms of fulfilling them

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in detail, in-depth, exactly the way they were

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explained.

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The conditions that you

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used to make

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someone else halal for you.

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To make the photo of someone else means

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you give yourself access to another human being,

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which is what happens in marriage. In marriage,

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you know, 2 people, they're getting access to

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one another in a way that does not

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exist outside of this relationship.

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It's a very very intimate and special access

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that exists. It's a relationship that is on

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an extremely

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profound level that does not exist outside of

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this relationship. And the way that you're making

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this happen is through a number of shur'u,

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of conditions.

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These conditions are sacred and the other conditions

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that are worthy of your attention to make

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sure that you honor them.

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That's why when we talk about Yayi Subhalla,

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getting married is actually not a complicated

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task.

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Islamically it's not complicated.

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The Westerners made

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From outside of your direct family.

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You ask the father, the father asks the

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daughter.

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They say: Yes. You say: Yes. You offer

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a mohar. You're married.

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Plus you're married. That's

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all it requires. You don't need to go

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downtown, you don't need a guy with a

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big beard, you just need

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this. It's very simple. But there are conditions

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that are surrounding this. The Maharul and the

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Shahadah

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and what

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you're actually agreeing to as a man, as

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a protector and a provider and as a

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woman, as someone who is going to protect

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the sanctity of this relationship, with the sanctity

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of of the access within within this house

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and to yourself. And any other condition you

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add upon because marriage is a contract where

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you can add conditions.

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There can be other conditions that you add

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to the marriage. These conditions are sacred

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and these are the most important ones for

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you to honor in your life.

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All conditions that are made that you agree

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to, you have to honor.

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That's not I'm not I'm not arguing that

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there are some conditions that you can go

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ahead and break. No. But the ones that

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are most sacred, is what he's saying alayhi

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salatu wa sallam, is what he's saying. Most

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sacred and worthy of your honoring and your

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fulfillment are the ones that are made when

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you're getting married.

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So make sure that you ask the right

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questions

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and make sure that if you're making a

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condition within marriage that it's very clear

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so the other person understands what they're gonna

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have to honor because this is something they

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have to honor for the rest of their

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lives. Same thing goes for you. If someone's

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making a condition on you within that marriage,

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make sure that you understand it and make

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sure you think about it long and hard

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before you agree

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because this condition will continue to be held

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upon you to the day you die.

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And this is something you'll have to stand

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in front of Allah and answer for first.

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Uhapu shurult.

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More than any other shawl that you'll ever

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fulfill, any condition that you'll ever be okay

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with is this one here when it comes

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to getting married, because it's very it's a

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big deal, because 2 people are offering each

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other access to themselves. They are bringing their

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unsav together. They are building a family together.

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This is very this is a big deal.

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It's not Islam does not see this as

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something light.

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It's easy to do, but it's a big

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deal. At the same time, it's not it's

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not made hard and difficult and impossible to

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achieve,

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but the sanctity of it, the importance of

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it is is very

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is held in the highest regards. So any

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condition that you're agreeing

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to, when you accepted this person in your

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life to protect, and to provide for, and

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to be faithful to, and to serve and

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to take care of on both sides of

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this equation. These are surut that you have

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to honor and anything that is add to

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the added to it must be honored as

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well.

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And just something for us to all think

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about because those of you who are married,

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you should think about this because when you

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got married,

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it's easy to forget in the midst of

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it all. After 15 years of it or

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20 years it starts becoming a little bit

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trusty, doesn't change. This is a shurut that

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you agreed to the day you asked for

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her hand. And the day you accepted him

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as your husband, there are these conditions will

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apply forever.

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And for those who want to get married,

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you make sure that you understand the importance

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of this. It's not designed to be difficult.

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It's designed to be sacred. Those are 2

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different things.

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They're 2 different things.

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Difficulty

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means that there's a lot of obstacles to

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get to the goal. Once you have, once

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you get there it doesn't, we don't know.

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Sanctity

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doesn't necessarily mean that it's hard to get

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there, but once you're there that's where you

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have to deal with it with the highest

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degree of respect and honoring.

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So there's a difference in these these terms

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what the prophet alaihis salam is trying to

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teach us. Not about making it hard to

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get there. We want to make it hard

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to get there. We think that if we

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make it hard to get there, people will

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honor it more. I mean if we think

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if we make it impossible for the young

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guy to get married, he has to have

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his a lot of money and they have

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to have the first khutba and then the

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second khutba and then they have to have

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the os and he has to put he

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has to sell a kidney to do it

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and his father has to go ahead and

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we'll stand in front of Masaijid and ask

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for donations to run this marriage. If you

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make a big deal out of it, then

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somehow he's going to you know, treat it

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with sanctity. He won't.

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Making it hard does not holify

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the actual action itself in people's minds. It

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doesn't. It actually it will build resentment for

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sure. It will build resentment And it will

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make the expectations impossible. If you make me

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pay

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more than I have for this marriage, well,

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I expect every night

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Yeah. I need to be a memory Yeah.

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I need to be extremely memorable for the

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rest of my existence. I pay I give

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everything I got. So And that's not fair

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because she's human.

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It's not fair for anyone.

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So the expectations have to be reasonable. So

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you don't make it impossible to achieve. You

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made it reasonable,

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accessible. But then you make sure they understand

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that this is a sacred contract. You are

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held to every detail of these conditions. So

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the day you die,

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to the day you die you're held to

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every because it's sacred because it's holy and

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that's what the prophet alaihis salam taught and

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that's what we have to take go back

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to.

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Don't make it difficult. Make it sacred.

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You're really,

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You're really,