Tap into your potential – 28.08.2014

Edris Khamissa


Channel: Edris Khamissa


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The speakers discuss the importance of rebuilding lives after a crisis and finding inspiration from people around them. They stress the need to share experiences and learn from mistakes, and emphasize the importance of acceptance and embracing reality in dealing with grief and grief. They stress the need to be mindful of the process of the "monana of the road" and the importance of learning from past experiences and recounting them to improve one's life. They also emphasize the need for privacy and support, as well as helping children in need.

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11 minutes after 11 I said I want a Kumar from A to LA he'll be an MSN and will not have an oh come on radio Islam international abuse Thursday morning. And we wait for this day of the week so that we can speak once again till beloved brother Idris camisa Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.

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It is by UV.

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Okay, we're going to try and get through again once more. It is camisa salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.

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Okay, there seems to be some type of issue with the line there and we'll try and get through to increase by some as soon as we can. But nevertheless, in our program today, inshallah, we're going to be looking at

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social issues.

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Has Alhamdulillah Finally, found a little bit of respect from the constant bombardment by the Israelis, it now comes time to rebuild, remove, regroup, and to focus on everyday life and huge number of people passed away in the huge number of people in injured schools, buildings, hospitals, facilities, homes, everything destroyed and we look at rebuilding and we look at the bring back life to normal after a great calamity and this is perhaps could form the theme of our program. Let's see if we have it is my background the night so now Molly Kumar Rahmatullah. Wa Alaykum wa rahmatullah wa barakato My beloved my Nana, how are you very very well hungry vegetarians this way how you know

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I'm very well allies very, very merciful. And the fact that we are alive we are able inshallah to God itself reformation and my inshallah inshallah and as I was just mentioning to the listeners that Thursday morning, when I wake up in nj anxiety in anticipation of 11 o'clock so that it can speak to my beloved.

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Please, bye, you, you are breaking up, your reception seems to be a little bit bad, maybe we can move around a little bit so we can hear your voice more clearly.

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Okay, it seems like it is by is going through a bad reception there. But we're going to try and speak to him again at any time. If you come back on please feel free to announce it as is.

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We are going to speak about drawing from the people on that line from what they've been through as the constantly closed through and how we can learn from them the lessons that we can learn from them in particular,

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particularly the lesson of rebuilding our lives after going through a calamity after being

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going through perhaps a mania in the family, somebody sick, perhaps an injury and accident, whatever else it may be, but but focus not on the calamity itself, but the focus rather, on rebuilding our lives after it is very back with us. And back to the logic of the Alhamdulillah Shakur. Yes, it is by looking at the people of Gaza. And now that the military, bombardment and aggression has stopped rebuilding their lives. And we can take a lesson from there. I am sure about how we Xie called our lives after a calamity.

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Yes, you know,

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I think Firstly, what we need to understand that

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we sometimes do not fully appreciate what people go through. There are two things there are two fundamental things the one is rebuilding their life. And the other is rebuilding the buildings and, and and the losses that they have incurred, irretrievable, some of them are lost the whole family, some of them lost three generations. So this is the nature of things and and i think and I'm so glad that you're talking about this and talking about this kind of loss, and May Allah make it easy for them. And I think we need to ask ourselves this fundamental question first. what lessons can we draw from that? What should we do and how best that we can ensure that we as a family, we are a united

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family, that together we can show compassion for the oma

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He has compassion for the mind. Very importantly finding

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some inspiration from the people of society is what I would like to focus in the program today, finding this inspiration, you know, people who have lost so many family members, people who've lost neighbors, they've lost parents, children who are left with perhaps nobody else in the world, but yet the resilience, the strength, a vivid a positive attitude and a smile, that you know, we can see manifesting many of the pictures, many of the visuals from the if you something that we can draw inspiration from, absolutely, because what you are saying is So, true, I mean, when you look at those pictures, and if you did not see the background, of the,

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you know, the buildings that have been destroyed, and the hospitals and the schools, you will not think that these are people that are going through such calamity, such in advance was such relentless bombing, and yet they go on a daily display, they interpret indomitability of the human spirit, he shows me as he shows a strong faith in Allah. And, and I think there may lessons we can learn, we can learn, our children can learn from it, also our parents, and everyone else, you know, and I will not forget tomorrow, and I was here in the Janice Berg, one Sunday for a fundraising dinner. But the organization there is called always call me group. And, you know, I was so glad to

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see a young sister there, Alia, name is, and she spoke about Palestine, you know, such beautiful poetry. And the point that

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you have made is he is younger, who's at university, who has been inspired by what goes on, and she is able to translate all of that into poetry. And this is a thing in a thing is that we as parents, we need to talk about it, we need to share this, we need to show them exactly what is their level of commitment to the D, we need to show them also, what is the level of understanding

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and to compare, as it were, our lifestyle, and what are things that really, you know, in a sense, grieve us, in a sense that upsets us and unlike them, they are you know, they are they lose lives, yet they show so much of compassion, you know?

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it is a bit different lessons on, on rebuilding our lives, we

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have been saved from war, we have been saved from that type of a situation. But we have other situations as well, where we may be attacked by a criminal hijacking holds up, it leaves us in trauma is the family and especially the small children in trauma, then you have the situations of, of motor vehicle accidents, which is definitely common in South Africa, motor vehicle accidents, people losing family members as well. Then, the other type of calamities that we face illnesses, you know, sudden deaths, and those type of calamities as well. And generally, any type of trauma, it takes its toll on us now, how to de Burgh and how to be positive are after the trauma that is that

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is the advice that we seek. Yes, do you know what one or not this is a point, you know, every day

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all of us

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are very, very, you know, concerned about what goes on in our lives. We are very, very concerned about what what happens to many of us. But this point, the point is this when you go through any trauma, you need to deal with it. And there are basically five things that I want to suggest. The one is that you must talk about what your experience because a psychologist say revealing is healing. Of course, most importantly you need to talk to Allah. And you need to ask Allah to guide you and give you strength in this difficult time. And the third important thing is this, that you must not have what you call a victim mentality. And all of us, you know, must understand that

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especially in this country with so much of violence and crime that you know most of us either you have experienced it either through our chin vicariously also on a very, very personal level or

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Sometimes we, you know, we read about in the papers. And the other important thing is this is, you know, in life must always learn from our mistakes, sometimes you realize that, you know, my gosh, the next time around, I must make sure my windows are close my doors are closed is that drive, or I must avoid traveling late at night in remote areas. And the fifth, the important thing is this, that whenever you go through any calamity, any tragedy, you need to share those lessons with other people, what lessons you have learned, in that way, what you are doing, you're educating the oma in that way, you're empowering yourself and you're empowering other people. And this is the nature of

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life. I mean, we are told with every heartbeat disease, we are told by Allah that you will be tested. And these are things we need to accept. And once you accept that reality, then it makes a difference. I and I think the Palestinians was they have accepted the situation, but they have not given up, they have not surrendered to the situation. They realize that, you know, these things are going to take place, they kids have been psychologically prepared for that. And they are prepared for that reality. And I think that's something that we need to understand. So it's a whole range of things, I think, I mean, the point that you raised is such a critical point, that as a family, as a

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father of the home, they are mean, he has to give direction leadership to the family, he must do consultation, empower his children, guide them and give them strength. And as it were, give them effective antidotes to those realities in a

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serious way. We'd like to take this opportunity also to welcome our listeners on the program, you must welcome

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call in on 118541548. Also, 073173846 is the number that you can SMS or WhatsApp, what we are speaking about is coming back after a calamity. We most of us have been through some sort of loss, some sort of bereavement, some sort of trauma in our lives. And the question is, how do we come back and this can definitely be an advice and a motivation and encouragement for all those who are currently going through this and who have been very, maybe been through some sort of trauma, and we can advise them, you can encourage them as well it is but you know, coming from my own experience from my own life, I would say that sometimes we feel at the onset of the trauma of the difficulty of

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bereavement or whatever that the inner there's no way out and you feel like there's no no solution to the problem. And sometimes you feel that, you know, no life looks downhill from here, it looks bleak from here, but in actual fact, if we just carry on with patience, and putting our trust in Allah subhanho wa Taala not trying to over exceed our limits or anything like that. We find it Allah subhanho wa Taala help hamdullah comes to us. And you know this, this is a lotta blesses us with Sling TV after

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you know, manana, it is so true. Because in Islam, it's about gradualism. And you'll find that it's an attitudinal issue also, because every time you are subjected to some kind of traumatic experience, it's not the end of the road is the bend in the road. And you find that time is a healer, and you start you cannot rush the process. It's a slow process is a process but in a moment, when you are there, you must realize that the end at the end of it, you'll come out unscathed, and then have it all you become a better person more resolute, because you find them monana then you come across lots of people. And you look at them, you look at their outer demeanor, you look at

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them, they are smiling, they seem so tenacious and resilient. But once you get to know them, you realize they have been through so much in their life, but there are no signs of it in the action. They no sign of it in the behavior and the attitude and they know exactly how to deal with grief, how to deal with this reality. And I think this is something that we need to bear in mind. You see what happens is when you give up then and when you think why me Why me Allah, right.

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The end what is important is this, that you cannot ask this question because you mustn't think that you are unique to the situation, the others will not go

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I have not gone through what you are going through. And in the end, you must understand that nothing happens except the will of Allah. And if you accept that, I think, then you would be showing more acceptance, you would realize that it comes from Allah subhanaw taala. And I'd only Allah knows the reason why some things happened to us. And perhaps you'll only see the wisdom of it. In the era, when Allah will tell us, you know, when you run through this, and I know the pain you went through, but the way to handle it your patient, this is your reward. And then you say to yourself, my gosh, if I knew that, then I would have been more patient. And that's the point of life is similar. Now

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you are dealing such an important subject, because many of us sadly, you know, we sometimes in the weakness of our human, we only see Allah's mercy when things are going well for us. We only see Allah's mercy when you make a huge profit Dynegy we only see Allah's mercy, when things are no frustrations in our life. But except for those for believers, they see our loved mercy all the time, even when they are subjected to any kind of friction and pain. And we also assume that the person is enjoying an affluent life and opulent life, that Allah is necessarily pleased with him. And that's not necessarily true, we not we do not say that a person is wealthy, Allah is not pleased not saying

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that. So I think we need to understand that and also we need to look at the most eloquent example of this will allow you to sell them who chose a life of poverty, or a life of opulence. And you know, what he went through in the last few days of his life, what he went through throughout his life, how he was subjected to so much of hunger, yet he could have gotten whatever he wanted, but he chose a life of penury, a life of deprivation, a life of Yes, and with such resilience and strongness. of Eman.

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it is. It brings us now to 28 minutes after 11 listening to our master lady slam international and a warm welcome to our listeners as well to SMS 0731738461. And you can call in and 118541548 is Ravi speaking to me speaking about recovering after pavement recovering after a calamity. That is usually one of the terms in the news when you speaking about death, then what we are most afraid of is that the person who has passed away we don't know what the condition is. And we are very afraid of how they are treated they because for example if it's a loved one who was sick for some time we would make sure that the bed is warm and comfortable the best of food was available first of gay was given

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past being everything and then other thoughts comes in our mind that replacing this person's body into a bottom of a grave sin covered insane and what is the condition but if we have the cfn in the Sierra and our youth in the in the unseen that allow some handles Allah blesses that person with a bed which is most comfortable with sleep like the bride on the first night they have in a an open window to gender and the place in general then automatically gives it some sort of sense and some peace

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it's really gone half past 11 we can take a short break now and come back with this discussion just after this detune Spitzer papers is back stay in this resort great savings series 100% so just been assaulted Juanita 13 wells 90 Maggie two minute noodles assorted 73 grams by any 411 grams Cadbury chocolate slabs otter 80 grams by any three 424 grams now my original module in break one Kg 27 grams it Huggy dry comfort disposable nappy size 266 so 358 size 450s all sides 544 95 pounds per pack save even more visit the kiosk app on your smart shop about only epic can be always there for you prices valid 28 August 31 August prices apply only

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With the sunrises, its rises for everyone showing molana Genie just touch on all mushrooms Monday to Thursday between 11 and 12pm. Live out of ermelo Mpumalanga, the place where the sun rises, regular contributions by Milan,

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Milan asna chohan

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welcome back to an unready Islam international 28 minutes with 12 and we have our guest today, Swami, sir, back with us on the line.

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It is by

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what we said was our apprehension at the time, when a person is

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has passed away that we are, we are afraid of what the situation is going to be. That is why we concern ourselves and we are quite grieved. But if we have this theme that Allah subhanaw taala is keeping them comfortable and that the separation is going to be very temporary. We're going to meet up with them once again, then it makes it that much easier for us to cope with.

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Do you spell your name? Yes, ma, ma. D? You know,

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are you a an example, last week, on Thursday after Magness Friday, my beloved niece passed away. And what happened was, she was 37 years old. And her father is my brother, who came from perception. And he came there to see her. And so she told her father Ally's calling me. And then the father asked, Have you read your column? I said, Yes. You know, I've read my salema as soon after she passed away, and why I'm mentioning it for two reasons. And the next day, you know, I mean, we buried her in pushups, at 10 o'clock, the janazah. And, and the home was not a sad home as such, because there was a deep, deep constellation the heart, that she died in a beautiful way that they you know, Allah was

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pleased, she was pleased with Allah, and she died peacefully. So this issue about about death is something that is a recurring theme, it affects all of us. And we want to make sure the beds and everything here as you rightly indicate, right, by the the, the the far more important than those issues was the material things is to make sure that we help each other to prepare for this reality and for a believer at depth is really a, a release into the eternal world of blessing Jana, you know,

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as we

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go forward, if not better, something good encouragement and good.

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You know, sort of advice for a person who has been believed that you can, you can understand that Allah subhanho wa Taala has get so much more in store for those who have passed away. And one of the things that, you know, with with now, our generation passing, going to becoming older than the older generation, who has a now a one by one, seeing them leaving this world, we can see. And we can have this hope that now they are leaving this family as well. But once they pass away, he has been joined up perhaps by a spouse who is being passed away earlier than them, or perhaps to their parents or assembly siblings were passed away earlier than them and they being reunited with those people.

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Absolutely. So more at some point, I think, I think what is critical, he says the question of all values is to what extent the agenda for the extend the eternal life is important to us. This world is ephemeral is short, lived is transient, and Allah will test us and many people want to compare otherwise to other people's visors, say, you know, how fortunate she is. She travels throughout the world, she got fancy clothes for a fancy car, and all of these things. This is sadly how we define success. And we need to ensure that our children understand the true true meaning of success. To understand that whatever you do you do to please Allah, whatever you do, you do it for him, then

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you're going to enjoy the fruits of an eternal life where you'll have no headache. You

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Nothing, you won't have a troublesome husband, but a loving husband. And a whole range of things. And we have forgotten that we have forgotten that. Therefore,

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as I said, in my conclusion to my speech, that the you know, when a person is asked, Who are you, when a person says I'm nothing but a humble servant of Allah, and if we are those humble servants of Allah, then our attitude towards life for me will be different, our attitudes to the very ones will be different. And we will make sure inshallah, that we also prepared for this reality that

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that's it.

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And just like to make this a contribution, that always remembering that because that has this phrase in mind that this too shall pass. It's from a story of a king, that was a respondent, he got his wife men together, and they all want to know what to do to make it better. So they need a ring. And honoring the inscribed towards this too shall pass. So whenever he felt any calamity, or any difficulty, a good time or a bad time, he always looked at the ring. And it always gave him this indication at that phase of life, it went.

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Come on, oh, seven. For that, yes. You know, this, inscriptions on the rings was definitely something which gave lots of inspiration to the previous generations. And this is one of those inscriptions, this too shall pass. It is by everything in our life is going to pass in whatever difficulty that is, is going to come to an end someday. Absolutely. And that's why I said, you know, we must understand, that's the reality. And sometimes when people go to the slightest omnicef, the slightest thing, we always exaggerate, we get emotional. We get the most, you know, even suddenly, you might get a few visitors at home, you get so emotional and upset and agitated about it. Right.

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And sometimes you go through some kind of pain, you overreact and disappoint. The thing is, you know what, what, you know, you know, as shabby belligerently made a good point. He says, you know, What, are you affected? In your relationship? Are you effective in your relationship while law is compromised, and these are important things, we must look at the bigger picture, we mustn't worry about 60 different issues that are not relevant, you know, and that's the reality that they, you know, pain is never eternal, right in this world, right. And it's something that we need to deal with. It is pre empting feign death,

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bereavement, catastrophe, kelenic, calamity, everything like that, is it possible for us to condition ourselves condition our children and mentally prepare for that even before it occurs or even in the possibility of it occurring? And you know, mentally preparing ourselves that, that in the case of an event and calamity, our minds already conditioned not to react negatively?

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Okay, you see, molana is a point, we need to ensure that it's all about our own taqwa and our own spirituality. I mean, I've heard the stories of some very, very pious individuals who were scholars, and whilst they were speaking, the rain formed of the death of the spouse, and they merely said in the lie Winnie Rajan and the continued to the talk. I mean, you may think that look at him and easy, so insensitive. And so this point, I think, what you need to understand that we are As parents, we need to have the right kind of values. Yes, it is human, we're going to grieve and nothing wrong with it. We are allowed to grieve for three days, we are allowed to grieve over a loss. This is part

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of what who we are and what what is critical is this. If you create a world of fantasy, where there is not a an extension of your equation of your reality at home, then these things are going to take place.

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It just means just gone. 90 minutes before 12 minutes, take a short break now. And we'll come back just after that to the listeners. Stay tuned for my second time international

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of a like a low mana

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Welcome back to on radio Islam international it's gone 60 minutes before 12 and welcome back to our guest is Karissa, it is what we would say. Or what we could say is that the best lesson that we could teach our children is is your theme in Allah subhanaw taala conviction that everything comes from a Madonna and realization that whatever is in this world is one day going to come to an end. And the true happiness in place and in Forever Living that we need to look forward to is in the indeed in the US era? Absolutely, I think these are very practical lessons. And you know, one of the things that I say to people in my workshops, that

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instead of giving our children what we did not have,

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what we do, we give our child what we did not have it, not give them what we have, we are so preoccupied some of us to improve the material life that we have forgotten in the earlier days of spirituality, respect, and so on and so forth. It's a matter of values again, you know,

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and, and also speaking to our children about the reality of this.

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We we often shy away from speaking about death, we shy away from speaking about the calamities that people go through, but but I think we should make it within maybe a discussion topic with our family, to speak about what the people are going through, for example, people losing the entire families, and speak about how they could be feeling and what the state of mind could be. Absolutely. I think this is a fundamental It is critical that we need to do that. So our kids can also learn the whole issue of empathy and understanding.

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And if they don't learn to empathize, then it's going to be a huge problem.

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It is like coming to the aspect of other types of calamities, holdups robberies, you know, that type of

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of trauma that a person goes through. How do you how do you deal with that? How do you advise somebody who has been through that in a way, as somebody who has been held up? We go to visit them to console them? For what words? What do we say to them?

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I think what's the many of us, I shy to ask them what happens. And I think it's important, as you know, depending on the family, add them, then the people who have been the victims of this, they need to speak about it, just alone would have been to heal. And I think the other critical thing is that they have to go for what I take is trauma counseling, because they and the family that is involved with them, and must be also very, very supportive about it, they must not point the finger at them and say, you know, yeah, it's your fault, and all of those things, but I think what's important is to make sure

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that, okay, you came out relatively unscathed, that sugar one law, that, you know, it could have been worth anything, it's important and you cannot rush the process, everyone is different, and over a period of time, inshallah, they must be able to come out of the dark cloud as it were, and step by step, they need to venture out within the company, and inshallah, they will develop that confidence in Sharla.

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And it is also in person goes through this, it's a piece of breach of privacy, that we feel most traumatized about it, in our private confines of our home or bedroom. Somebody has walked in a stranger's walked in, and they have basically violated our privacy, and, you know, the the sense of dignity that we maintain in those quarters. And that is something difficult to deal with, we get destroyed, like almost like, you know, an intrusion, your, you've made yourself vulnerable. And you always think, you know what, I mean, I didn't think it happened to me. And it happens to all of us. I mean, I recall, some years ago, when someone put a knife to my throat and took my cell phone away.

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And it was very, you know, very, very traumatic. But I'm Billa, I got over it very, very quickly. You know, but we forget, sometimes we do not take those precautions, because you must understand that we are living in this country, where the crime is gruesome, it's mccobb, that, you know, you need to take every precaution and measure a need to read the item policy and need to protect our homes, and we need to make sure inshallah, that we also will do all the time. So these are things that do happen. And because we look at other people, there are some people, in addition to your stories that tell you, you know, what, I've been attacked six times, seven times, eight times, and

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then you realize that you are in a far more fortunate place, and they were rotting, therefore, it is important, also, the need to fulfill our Islamic obligations, it is made the sacred fatal, encounter, at least, a huge time with the money

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and the little children, it is by speaking to them about it and, and trying to get them through that fear. You know, I've heard about people recently as well who have been held up and are unable to speak, unable to sleep for from a few nights of for many nights, they they after and you know, only it's when the the spend time with other family members or somebody else in the house and liquids, they could sleep, and then especially the little children who find it difficult day after to go to sleep. Yes, you know, children are very sensitive. And children, you know, often add this kind of trauma can lead to what you call it later, post traumatic stress, that is very, very important, the

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support you give them, and you must also at a particular time, give them opportunity to speak about it, because otherwise what will happen when children keep things inside them, they're a psychologist causes a kind of implosion, like a building collapsing from within. So you need to give them as much comfort as possible. And under the law, children are very resilient. And many of them, you know, through counseling and through the right kind of support, you know, the lead in meaningful lives and, you know, signs that they've gone through all of this, and I think you know, analyze the healer, and you need to print voila, but it's important that we need to deal with it. And you and I

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know even for children when they can

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Go through divorce. This can also be traumatic for the children, and especially with the divorce has been a an implicit one in which there have been violence, aggression, and so on and so forth. So I think we need to understand that children are children, they absorb these experiences and they manifest it in a negative rates as they grow into young adults in

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the counseling that we can send our children for things I'm sure the counselors in Indonesia, Johannesburg, rhodium, Tunisia, Islamic helpline, Islamic careline in noseeums. Islamic helpline, they can assist with this type of counseling. And we should get hold of them through the Jamia to Allah. And these people can assist us greatly in all these different types of counseling, even in trauma counseling, seeking assistance in helpers currently is an umbrella Allah bless them enough, they can help us in so many, so many

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different ways to overcome this. And I think it's important that parents can never underestimate the impact they can have on the children, we must not ignore it. Because I remember I had to deal with a particular case where a particular boy said, I lost my brother, you know, passed away. But my parents are so concerned about him. And they are so concerned about the impact it had on them. In the process that forgot me, they forgot that I lost a brother. He was my soul mate, he was my companion, but they did nothing to help me to cope with it. So one has to be very, very conscious and aware that when this thing happened, every home, and every person in the household needs to go

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for some kind of counseling and understanding. I mean, if you look at navicula now you tell them. I mean, if you look at the comprehensive picture, they say when you lose your father, that you must also you must keep in contact with your father's friends. I mean, besides then giving your counsel and help getting the parents, your parents in the same time, they all feel a sense of loss because your father was a dear friend of theirs in Islam is about compassion. commiseration is about, you know, collective sympathy and support.

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Yes, it is my final words of advice. And Sean Hannity was just about about five minutes after the program to round up in Sharma Yeah, you know, my final bit of advice, you know, I get very disturbed and concerned that sometimes, you know, parents go out of their way to destroy the marriages of their own children, you know, even though the daughter is happy, she wants to reconcile, they say no, you can you should not go that you should not go back. And and vice versa. And I think this is something that is very worrying for me, when when parents are doing things that are so insidious and malicious to destroy the home of their own children. I mean, I mean, I do not understand that and

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something we need to look at. But I think in terms of your topic, I think we need to take many lessons from the examples of our Palestinian brothers and sisters, and that no own country when you go to any kind of trauma, we need to give each other as much support and help in the end, as this word is a word that will be tested. In the end inshallah I pray that Allah forgives us, Allah guides us, Allah gives us then inshallah and that inshallah we come out, you know, unscathed in the ashira Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah It was so so good and underground a personal note to see my friend My brother Pharaoh's family

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from the Islamic airline to see them as a function and May Allah give all my friends and people like yourself a sense and give you an ability inshallah and that we are here to help each other to help the oma to heal. So I cannot say that for your time it is why inshallah we'll speak next week Thursday. inshallah Allah bless you look up and protect your molana and look up your sushi Baba Lena

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was sent out.

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Just on four minutes to two hours of shooting to my studio operator private salmon she cooked chicken to you for listening to the program from Chennai to Santa Monica.