A Ramble On Grief Mental Health and Sh Muhammad Alshareef
Channel: Abu Eesa Niamatullah
File Size: 56.93MB
Alright folks, Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim Al hamdu lillahi rabbil aalameen Allahumma salli wa sallim wa barik ala Nabina Muhammad while early he was happy he was writing a Santa Monica how to love Ricardo, to all of you, to everybody who's listening. You know, the other day, I did a video, right? It was called,
actually the macro folks, they call it closure or something like closure to Chef Muhammad's last moments or something like that.
And the wish it was, but other people also need closure. Right. And this video is very selfishly, or this not, I mean, the videos, obviously just catching what I wanted to do, I needed closure as well. And the people that it's really aimed at, because I did want to share this closure. So we normally closure should be a selfish, selfish, a private thing. You should privately define what it is that your problem is, and then deal with it and close it. But why am I doing it publicly?
Right. And I've been asking myself that question. And and I came to the conclusion that No, I do need to record this it is private is personal. It is is something that is going to be uncomfortable. But I need closure. So I just want to say because I understand from the metrics of videos that the majority of the people play 30 seconds, is it or is it three minutes, minutes, something like that, and then they decide whether they want to play it or not. So I just want to say this is definitely not going to be your normal tribute to check Muhammad Sharif Allegra Tula. And this is not a lecture, or a nice reminder for the general kind of Muslims as well, let me just make that very
clear to anyone to call me a fraud afterwards, and we just wasted an hour, this is gonna be very personal. This is about me, the structure of harmony should have meant to me a few points along the way. But mostly, it's about a cathartic process that I need, I need to do this. If I was say it was aimed at anybody I need my family to hear this. I need my close friends to hear this. I need my
students definitely, to hear this. They have to understand some of the principles and some of the facts that I want to cover. So it is of course emotional is difficult. The last 24 hours has just been a flood of tears. And you have to understand that it's not because checkmark, the sheriff passed away. But but because of the things that happened that
came forth and made me realize because checkmark, the sheriff passed away.
and so therefore, I find it beneficial to myself
to realize just how important a person can be, and the biggest issues that a person faces.
So I'm not going to fraud, anybody there are going to be some very praiseworthy aspects of Sheikh Muhammad Sharif mentioned, I want to say Yasir qadhi The other day, he gave a quality attribute was fantastic.
I am I mean, the fish basically said everything I wanted to say. And he pushes can is a bit of a killer. I mean, subhanAllah exactly what he wanted to say is what I wanted to say, and he got there and I've been busy, right. But not only have I been busy, he hadn't been in the zone. Anybody could have been in the zone, obviously, you know that I went and I rushed there and I had to deal with it and wash and I mean, these things are emotion, by the way, not a t shirt. Because I'm in the zone. Alright. And I as a Imam, share, student, leader, community, whatever you want to call me, it doesn't matter. I need to be in the zone regularly. I need to be in control. I need to show people
that I'm in authoritarian control. But of course, there's no one who's ever in control. It's always an act. And that's why I think this cathartic process for me, I do think people need to hear it. And I do think that right this moment, you know, UFC and MMA is massive at the moment, right? I mean, it is it shouldn't be it really shouldn't be because honestly I know heavy even everybody has made it what it is in Islam hardship and everybody everybody loves it, I get it. You can't go against a popular kind of wave even though it's disgusting what happens in the brutality. But we've got Muslim heroes in there who are wonderful people, wonderful role models, inspire so many people in terms of
fitness etc offer only we could somehow get rid of the actual thing. But it is what it is give it to wrestling or something like that. Or grappling but it's not as there's brutality, which is haram when it comes to the striking with the face in the way that it happens in a sporting manner. I had to say that people hate upon me as a result. That is part of the cathartic process. I need a lot of hate on me in this video that will help me heal
massively in this process, but what I want to say is that, obviously,
I know that I've been following. I've been off social media for a while, but then in last 24 hours, I've been, you know, overloading myself catching up. And I noticed paddy Pimlott, who's obviously a UK UFC fighter, he won his fight and he had his mic with Michael Vickery Michael Bisping at the end, Michael Baseman's from Manchester, we know this history for a long, long time, I used to actually know him from back in the day, right, like we're talking back back in the day.
Paddy Greenblatt wins, he does his little thing. And then on a mic, he mentioned that four hours before he woke up or something like that. On the way in the day before the fight, he receives a text that one of his friends has killed himself. Now we know that suicide is a big thing at the moment. Okay. And we know that
across the board, and I say big thing, I mean, across the across the world, all societies, all religions, but it's really taking the Muslim community by shock how many Muslims are killing themselves, he made the point. But I'm just adding that, by the way, we are not immune, you would have thought we are people who know that this and this is a world of stress and toil and headache and, and you're meant to just survive, and you survive, and you get to the other side, we know that I mean, at all levels, we know that. But so why is why people killing themselves. So clearly, mental health is not being understood, right? Because it's not a very difficult formula to understand,
you've been given a challenge, play the game, survive, and you don't need to win, conditions running, there's no winning line, you just needs to survive, just need to stay in the game, and then die after you're going to be okay, for the rest of life, which is eternity, it's really simple, kind of, and the rules of the game are quite clear, it's going to be tough, you're gonna get slapped, but you're gonna get good moments. So shouldn't really need people to be kind of, you know, killing themselves or saying, I don't want to play the game. Right. But people are saying I don't play the game, and they take their lives. And we've got to start taking that seriously. Right, a lot more
serious than, than we think. And I'll give an example what I mean by taking this seriously because there's still a taboo about men speaking about themselves. And what he said was fantastic, actually, for all he is and you know, the separate what he is to what he said, he said, Men, please out there realize that and he said, My Friend, I would wish that he cried on my shoulder and embarrassed himself that I attend his funeral next week. What a wonderful statement and what a summary. That's the truth right there. Okay. And we don't we find it weird duck bit soft if people start speaking to each other about mental health, right, and show vulnerability and weakness and so on. So I want to
do this. Now. I want to tell people that I am the biggest most softest was ever. I cry maybe nearly every day. That's truth. This is why I said I want my family. No, I don't. I'm putting this out there. So people realize, but not in front of other people. But not in front of other people. Nearly every night. I probably cry. I need to let it out. And it's good for me very healthy. I'm by the way. hamdulillah I'm good. I don't need mental health. I don't need messages better. Please don't be sending WhatsApp messages. All right, I can't be handing more messages. Don't message me say you, okay, I saw this video. You're hurting, blah, blah, blah, I'm absolutely fine. Hamdulillah. I'm in
mental health myself in terms of qualified psychotropic medication. I'm a pharmacist by profession clinical at that, know the game. I'm alright. I don't need medication, not on medication. I'm cold, I understand. But the reason I understand is because I do need to be very much in control of my mental health. I know what to do when I'm feeling mentally depressed. That's the difference. So I am encouraging people to come and to whoever they can go to their communities to express to speak, you've got to speak, we've got to take away the stigma of people being embarrassed to speak about things and being upset and being worried. And scholars need to develop the skill to be able to to
encourage that as well. Imams as as and we don't recognize we don't want Muhammad Sharif, by the way. I was speaking to Nora about, you know the legacy of Sheikh Mohammed who of course, runs amok of his closest friend of Sheikh Mohammed. And one of the things that he said, right, is that what Muhammad Sharif did for this ummah? I mean, I'm talking when I say to him, I mean, us Westerners and English speaking Muslims, is that he revived the value and the worth of the Imam.
He told them to raise their game though. He said, I don't want mediocrity, right, but he raised their game. And he made us value them. He created a few celebrity ones in our Marketing Institute, they became then bigger than, you know, they were and others then had to raise their game and he made it clear that the others are important as well. We're talking about this right? Did he do a good thing or a bad thing? You know that when we think about celebrity scholars, how much of a shameful statement is celebrity speakers celebrity whatever.
You know what check Muhammad Sharif certainly did create the celebrity aspect in the Islamic paradigm he needed to that was the whole point. Right? He made the whole game of studying for
Rational corporate something attractive they needed to be you're not people that are wild. So he didn't do that. But did he create celebrity speakers celebrity stars? Or did he create celebrity teachers and that's where the correction is to be made. Shaquan Sharif, like myself. And by the way to explain this story, I have to speak about myself on my history with him detest conferences, absolutely hate conferences, you can count how many conferences are spoken. But on the other hand, I wanted to the rest, I'm forced to write why. And then people are like, what do we manage that is a really important way. And so many people come to them through conferences, right. But if you look at
the conference kind of scene, it really is about coming only because of a name. And you only had something for a few minutes, and you're always having to develop a one liner. It's about celebrity and social media, whatever. There's a difference between that and I'm sure you've hated that and didn't create a celebrity speakers. He created celebrated teachers, people that would spend hours and weekends and weeks and months and years. He made them special celebrity I get it and has a mindset that people but he wanted them to be continuing not that five minute you know, a 10 minute 30 minute lecture, and once a year event, but continuous education how it should be of course. So
listen, by the way, this is not a talk. This is me rambling This is about as as tangent rambling as it's gonna get. I'm gonna go all over the place. If you want structure, do not go go and find a Yasir qadhi Sierra lecture. That's the only structure for you. This is not structure. This is me trying to explain to folks that
am very proud to say that I cry every day.
I hate it when I do in public, but that's more to my culture. I'm a baton. Alright, first of all, this is why man, first of all, I'm a man. Right? And in all cultures, men, and I mentor cry, we've got to change that. But men are not meant to cry. Then I'm a Putana, which is an Appleton kind of culture that people might have heard that tribal, all the rest of it, men are meant to be all, you know, hard, and all the rest of it. So that that's another problem. And the craziness is I swear to you that the purpose of life said that his companions who cried all day, every day, every single day, and I'm not gonna say he did it for other people, but we have so many narrations of them
crying. And yet somehow we think, you know, we're more religious and more tougher and more pious than the Companions by not opening up. Now, by the way, I'm not saying that if you don't want to cry, they that you should force yourself to cry. And by the way, there's quite as to say that as well. That's the only one of the principles in our deen that when you're reciting, or when you are hearing something, if you can't cry for yourself to cry, there's a there's a chapter in our deen about that. But I don't want to get into the flip of that. I just want you to know that the more that we reflect and the more that we consider ourselves, and the more that we realize our sins and
so on, or the more that we witness. And so we should react in a way that we are not being embarrassed. And the more that we make it less embarrassing for other people, I honestly think that we can make some little bit of difference in the suicide rate. At least, that's a big achievement. At the mental health level, at least, we should be more cathartic. So I want to say that i What do I have to do? I have to show leadership, I have to, I have to show that when I'm listening to a sister who's saying that this happened that happened, this happened that happened. Or when I hear about friends that are getting into trouble, bloody blah, blah, blah, I've got to be strong and fake it.
I've got to be strong and not allow that emotion, I've got to be able to have my legal mind going so I don't get carried away when they're so linking this to Muhammad Sharif. On the Thursday when I got the call, I was the closest guy I realized what we know finding out all this information. I knew straightaway that I had to be the one to go so it just entered his own. That's it. I'm not in control. I'm leading young scholar, I'm gonna do the hustle. We're gonna get I'm not going to lose it. I'm going to see his kids. I want to see his kids. I'm going to die. I'm going to die inside but I'm not going to let it out. I can't show the kid I'm crying when the kid himself is not crying. I'm
with Yanni his daughters and his kids and then you know what the hell's out right now at this moment another time maybe but this moment, I need to keep focused I need to arrange a cup people got to reach the body. So I just want to say that nobody saw anything robotic straight and did slot we're all done. Then the rest of the situation that's coming off because whatever whatnot I'm dying inside. And now I need to let it out. It wasn't going to happen in camera is gone now actually. Hamdulillah I spent yesterday alone, just doing my things, whatever whatnot. And then I hooked up with one of my old friends. And I needed what what did I need? This old friend? Right where we are
right now. Okay, known for many years. And I needed to remember where I came from. And that's what I want to speak about. I want to speak about how I met Muhammad Sharif, I want to speak about how I started practicing. I want to I want to show you how
in these moments when you lose a person and yes of course you put it beautifully. Muhammad Sharif was nowhere near my closest friend he was you know he was talking about tears if you if if you saw his reminder he used all the phrases I was
If you have tier one friends, you have tier two friends, right? You have people that you are absolutely in contact every single day. And then you've got those other kinds of folks that are, you're close to that you don't need to kind of apologize that you've not been in touch with them. When it's been a month or two, just drop a message, whatever, then you got tier three, which will be any friends or meet or whatever. Then you got tier four, there are tiers that is game
tiers, to ti e. S levels, right? Mama Sharif was maybe three, maybe a two or three. All right.
I met him first when I was in Medina, my background, when it came to Islam was through teachers that were not interested in the university system at all. And they instilled in me a deep mistrust and our emotions, I will almost say hatred, of the Oh dislike not hatred, dislike of universities, formal institutions, madrasas, I could see so much time being wasted. So I saw them as a very second class kind of way of studying Islam. And this fitted my ego as well. Horrible ego, very when I was not practicing, I'll call it ego.
In the practicing side, and I'll call it arrogance when I was not practicing. I remember when I came to university early 90s, right. I came from London, from London, to Manchester, and anybody who knows anything, I know the obvious people who are watching us from all over the place, but anyone who knows anything London, believe London has believed that basically it's London after up to Watford gap. And after Watford gap is basically Scotland. Like and England is only London, is what I'm trying to say the rest is nothing. It's a whole different country, the arrogance towards the north, the backwoods, the poor, the X, they speak funny, blah, blah, blah. And I was brought up like
that. And so when I went up there, I went to university, I walked in like a king. And I said, you know, I used to, honestly, I need to speak to people such arrogance was power on people or of me, you know, I had charisma. And this was nonpracticing. And obviously, when I was not practicing, I was into DJing. And come in and people are desperate for me to kind of, you know, organize parties and whatever. And in my first year, I was a superstar, but it was more to do with my arrogance. Right? At that time, I had no understanding of what Eagleman wasn't calling it ego, I just knew that I was better than everybody more educated than ever than everybody does. Cost I'm doing is absolute
waste of time, easy, never bothered going to end to the lectures, you should get the lectures the notes from the girls, you only basically just read the night before pass the exams. It was so intellectually above the people my rock marks it was so I'm gonna look back it's so disgusting how I acted, but that time now when I look, there's one thing but when I was there, something else. I don't want to speak about my story, how about practicing but in very early in the 90s when I went I went to Medina. I started my studies when I was in Manchester with my scholars and teachers and so on so forth. And I because of my abilities, martial arts, vertical was able to memorize a lot,
understand a lot. And so I was spending day and night, day and night, you know, my teachers were people who were like, right come to come to my house and live with me and stay with me. Right? And that's what I would do. I was a nightmare for the wives of these people. It's a hate me, right? I used to be stuck to my teachers and just just soaking up absolutely everything. When I went to Medina, I went to Medina because I said I'm gonna take a year out, I'm going to go and I had zero intention of going to university at the university and I knew already the students students and they spend most of the time you know, stars in your eyes head and McDonald's kind of thing. You know I
mean that's their life right here are kind of life and you know, Saudi and and you know, I'm bit of Islam during the day lesson, the wake up late, go to another lesson, get signed off, whatever.
So I was still even my ego when I started practicing. I felt and I knew that I was better than everybody else and I was not waken and I knew that in one year in Medina, I'm going to I'm going to get done what they get done in four years. I'm going to find the teacher that I've been advised.
Happy the hello to other Nigerian chef. He was a PhD student. He gave me his whole day. Right all morning all the opinion, but a pediment Pittston, Saturday, it was nothing, right? And I used to live like a student, whatever. That's where I met. Yes, according. That's where I met Muhammad Sharif. That's where I met like these people when I was there. And when I looked at them, I put them into different categories. Right? So obviously, you meet people for the first time, you're sizing each other up. And this is important. This is the most cathartic process that I needed to get out to everybody. Okay. When you're sizing another man up is something that we do. I think it's everyone
Yeah. And you know, it's from the animal kingdom we are from that ultimately, you know, everyone wants to stake their space, make it clear, make yourself bigger, they say right, when you're attacked when you're attacked by a bear, then you make yourself bigger as well. You know, that whole concept
to alpha male, that kind of thing. And
I say is that Yasser he has a size that me we ask each other the right questions he knows the idea that he's you know that I'm not to be messed with puts me in that category but we've got some communication from beforehand as well online blah blah blah. He knows that I'm not some pump. Yeah, and he knows that I got game. I realize he got game. So some people here and dazzle Muhammad Sharif as well, I said and it was complete waste of time he was right, as you know, just literally put him to the side. Like yes, I said, right, but he said it more politely. Right. And there were others and you put them into their craft categories tofi Charger I remember I said to myself, yeah, this boy is
good. But why? Because he was studying more outside than he was inside. I remember him Yanis in the lessons Jack Ma Makara Xiang TT outside, right. That's my point, that there's a system which fits Westerners, they want to sit at tables and do their thing and you know, go home and whatever whatnot. And dos about just like university is back home, bro University. In three years, I must have spent maybe about three months at that place, sitting at a table. Now imagine, and three months I did three years work so you get the point, that universities I'm not hating on all of them. But you know what I mean? Right? But
But it's so people that I that impressed me and showed me as it became close and so others as well, who was also very good Joe Bradford, and you can tell people that mashallah you're going to come back and they're going to be really great assets. Muhammad Sharif meant absolutely nothing to me at that time. I can see just a chiller, not really kind of whatever. And so I didn't get to know him at all, at all. Now jump forward, X amount of years.
I came to sort of have got to go back and say something.
When I saw Yes, I mean, we'd already been in touch. And I already knew what kind of person he was. And obviously the Salafi Dawa was what was what it was as well. And maybe my students know this, but if you don't know this, I was not affected by the Salafi Dawa. I never, a lot of these folks are names that, you know, they had already arrived and had to be in staying in that box. And they had to live within that box, and they had to develop out of it, etc, etc. I never entered that box. I didn't start practicing because of people I started practice because of a teacher and I stuck that a teacher. So I had to understand the politics of this, I couldn't care less about my colleagues and,
and whatever the story is, and the rest and the opposite, whatever, whatnot. I knew I had teachers, I knew I had sources I had. So I was just carrying on. And I could see us that his guy that stuck in that, right. And he obviously, obviously all the names I mentioned, they know this, this is nothing which is hidden. Right? He knew that he was stuck in what he was and but I knew that he could come out. And I know that he was academic and he was this that whatever whatnot. And I used to tell him a lot, probably your mouth of reality. The irony is, is that I saw Muhammad Sharif. And I dismissed him. But me and him were saying the same thing. Right? I'd already started teaching in the 90s, I
was doing circles and I was doing it away, which is fun and real and in communities. But I had never had the vision to be doing it, you know, international and recorded and so on so forth. Those who are logical progression students, which is really who I want to record this for, because they're my main people that my heart they've been with me for the last 10 years studying. Okay, they all know that logical progression is the name of the circle that I started in the 90s with basic Muslims, right. And those who really really know me know that logical progression was called that because it was the name of the album that absolutely blew my mind 10 years before that, right. And so the, the,
the the game of, you've got to stop living in your towers of academia, the people out there are different. They need razzmatazz, then you celebrate anybody? No, so our flyers were like, you know, all you hear about Muhammad Sharif, you know, and making them fun and interesting, etc, etc. And I just came across one the other day and I thought wow, and he asked it, you know, this could probably pass today as well, we only 2030 years later. And so, I was doing a circle story. So when I went to Medina, I was quite critical of the asset as well. And that criticism continued when he carried on the anti producing books and you know, having certain beliefs that was strict really is too strict
upon other Muslims say you know, and I was saying you can't this is wrong, this is a mistake. So we had a little bit of you know, but we were close to argue like that. The reason I say that the reason I say that is because when yes i and the acid want you to stay in carry on studying this studying, it's a story about the acid Man, forget this Baba, but just he wants to go and studying and I was begging him, forget this book, let's get back to the west.
You're just you know, you're needed over there and you gotta you're staying there. You want to do PhD and I said, Wallahi your dis is wrong. You got to come back. If you want to carry on education, then do it in the West. But at the same time, get involved in the real life for what it is. This is not what's going
Didn't matter to the people Hamdulillah he came back, you know, he mellowed out he became who he did that he lost his head down. He went too far and but it didn't show on his back again. Yeah, he's alright. He's alright inshallah. The point is, is that so now he's back and he's realizing and I'm carry on doing my thing.
Then I'll McRib comes to town. I'm not interested. I'm not interested in this American kind of form of all kinds of too fun, too much added for the Brits, you know, Brits always going to conservative kind of people. And
then, you know, push comes to shove in 2000, whatever. You ask, goes to meet listen.
There's a market. Have you heard about it? I said, Yeah, I heard about it, but not interested. Yep. And he goes, No, no, listen, we need to come to UK. And you know, it's going to be something good. And he told me he spoke to me about it, whatever he himself was. The reason that I wasn't interested, is because he was the one who's least interested in it himself. When we're speaking in the 90s or early 2000s, whatever it was when he was approached by Sheikh Mohammed, he said absolutely not. Right. And he said to me, wouldn't you know, messaging me, and that was it was messenger Murphy back in a day. And in the hot mouse, he goes, you're not going to believe that
Muhammad Sharif is still trying to get me into that bucket, and we would have a laugh. Ha ha, ha, you know what I mean? We'll be discussing that whole kind of concept. Then eventually, he
was it was the word converse, the other side betrays that outside gone over to the awesome
you know, whatever class it used to happen with Americans, and we used to be shocked and what the hell did group hugs right that was it. Group hugs, what the fish group hugs. You find grown men all lining
each other. I was like, what the fish is going on? And yes, it goes, we'll lay it I've never allowed that in my class. I've never done that in my class. Certain instructors do that. That's not what it's like. But I was really you know, the, the Brits were like, you know, America has a mental template. Do you mental, they do that in class and hug each other and men and they Jana, Jana true that there is a jump up or down. And I was like, and Muhammad Sharif is encouraging that behavior, meaning that not because he did it himself, but because I'm sure he was the most, you're learning. You're hearing all the legacy stuff. He was the most private person, biggest introvert ever. But
what his skill was, is that he was like, You know what, let's get the people that make the people excited that make the people love Allah and that's why I remember Muhammad Sharif for right, that he made people love Allah and His messenger. And what else is our aim in this life as practicing Muslims but to ourselves love Allah is messenger and to get people to love Allah and His Messenger, and you know what he knew, from an early age which we didn't give credit to him but now everyone mashallah is recognizing including myself is that he knew that people love Allah and especially in different ways, in different ways from different people. And so he empowered those different people.
He went around seeking these kinds of he goes back to America, you know, for the you know, the full story and he hooks up one or two people he goes up to yesterday, but just just the basic Imam somewhere, right? The can't speak English can't speak the language and he goes, No, no, you've got what it takes. And he made him into a superstar. He turned him into a superstar. Chicken has a budget. Are you kidding me? Do you know who he is? My short answer is baraka everywhere is no to everyone. You just look at him and you just end up Mungus you know, he speaks he teaches sobre el man he was teaching the hardest subjects on
the screen, he got stuck with the worst subjects, right. And he carried it through and he was able to ignite a passion in Muslims because Muhammad Sharif created a brand he himself, you know what he did with, with with with with with Sierra with the Prophet SAW Salem, how he presented a hadith. He turned it into something that the people wanted he chose people that would have and so you know, you know, it goes Yasir qadhi. Obviously the guy's a winner before already is doing great uses him now England and they approached me and I said yes or no no interested then No, no, trust me you need to spread your data to the world. You know, he played on my ego. That's the that's the thing. And this
this woman Sharif, and his right hand man nor they are the biggest manipulators in human history. They study with the psychological quality and what they called life. What's the what's it called neuro net What did they call it? Neuro NLP, whatever. Because yeah, and so they they, they they hit you up with my ego was the highest worst thing ever. The worst ever. I looked down upon people and not an arrogant, so it's so easy. When you believe you're qualified. Right? And special because of real facts. Truthfully, that's more an ego issue. That's the neffs that's jihad, enough's. And when you get to struggle with, and it's a reality that all Muslims have to deal with. And then you've got
arrogance, which is that over the kuffar and that of the Muslims when they're not practicing, and it's a horrible thing, right? So there is a difference. So I wasn't arrogant because as a Muslim, I can tell you every single day of my whatever whatnot, I was in front of Allah subhanaw taala i was the most miskeen ever I used to be any in such that like, like, you know what, nothing I am, but my ego in front of people, which is what you'll find all of the sky
Speaking about all the time, because it's the biggest challenge for for Muslims and practicing Muslims, and those have knowledge, the biggest test is to kill your ego, kill your ego. And if you read like the books, in my mind nowhere, for example, and you see the what he quotes from the self and what you do, and that again, that's a lesson. We don't wanna get into that. I mean, Muhammad Sharif, I'm told to meet him, he wants to basically seal the deal for me to become the instructor or the main guy representing the Maghreb, in the UK.
And I'm like, I don't need a macro, Danny to be the main representative of the person in the UK. I am the main guy in the UK. Who else is there in the UK, like, what named them or whatever, whatnot, I can go and do this. And I've got qualifications Ejaz, that my teachers are well known that they are telling me to teach them to give me permission, why do I need Al Maghrib? I'd make my own kind of game, by the way I had, I predicted guidance, which I set up was my intention of local studies and national national kind of events in 2002, or 2003, or whatever it was, okay. And so I said, No.
And he said, he was teaching this life coaching lesson in London. And I said, hooked up and he goes, like, listen, sit down, and he took me to this restaurant. And Maya, okay, shouts Maya, and we sit there and met him. And I'm putting all the Donald Trump moves.
Or the Trump moves alpha male. Yeah. And you're taking space. Right? You know, dominate large, loud voice, grabbed his hand, whatever, whatnot, yanked it, whatever, all the moves, sat down. And like, yeah, so what is it that you wanted kind of thing? By I'm not a nice guy, by the way, just so that, you know, you know, a lot of people say, I'm not denying my brother's a nice version. I'm the not so nice guy. It's not it's not a trait that I was blessed with. Okay. I'm emotional guy, but not nice one. And if I need something, I need to do something that I'll be focused on. I'll get it done. And so I went out to him like that.
And he goes, so I heard you want to join that method?
For Grace, what a power move.
What a power move. I was really shocked anyone who said that, right? And after hearing me and taking me like that sign, I go, I want to join in and
I said, Yes, sir, has been asking me to join my group. And I don't want to join in my group, and you need to convince me to join him. My ego was so I don't know what the word is, like, empower, you know, I was what?
And he goes to me, he goes to me, I would love you to be part of it.
I think you're the best.
I love what you say. I think that people will will, you know, you will benefit so many people.
He humiliated me on that day in a way that I have never, ever been humiliated in my life.
He broke me that day, like I have never, ever be broken in my life.
He smashed my ego.
Because he had no ego.
Every reminder that you will listen to about the legacy of Muhammad, Sharif, whatever, every single one, you will hear that he never had an eagle. Whatever he was, it wasn't the world's greatest worship. It wasn't the world's greatest Muslim. He wasn't the only one as if he's the only person who's died right now that we are worried about how many people have lost them,
lost their people. How many other people don't doubt many people. But we're talking about Muhammad Sharif, we're talking about characteristics. The man had no evil.
And you know, someone who has conquered his ego walleye succeeded. I remember remember, no, we were saying a statement that blew my mind. He quoted one of the self and he said that a person he recognized the idea that his ego was a problem. So he spent seven years or duck I can't remember this reading this years ago, understanding it in
seven years, 12 years, working on his ego everyday like physically, like counting, focusing on his ego. And he said that I was trying to identify it. So I was identifying different scenarios. Like I identified it for you how I you know, I said it very clearly. I'm really bounce that down. Remember how my ego was controlling everything. That's what he means by it took 1012 years to understand the ego. And then it cuts spent two years cutting it up. So humiliating himself. And that's what I'm doing right now. I'm humiliating myself. Now the Sufis have this kind of concept where it goes too far might have heard of it, right? Where they get to a position where they're so afraid that other
people feel them to be so good. And that happens. Of course, when people cry a lot. You always think that is such a holy person, such a pious person. So I want you to know that's what's happening right now, but I'm not going to do that. Well, what would they do? They would stay outside the masjid with a bottle of alcohol.
whole things like that, you know, so people swear at them, curse them use this you that to this is haram. This is the extreme. I'm not going to the extreme. I'm just happy to embarrass myself. I don't mind that I was giving it the big end. And he just slapped me down. And he said to me that I know that what you have what you have, and I didn't part of who was Anyway, like I had anything, but it was given at the beginning. But he made me feel special. But more than the special. I realized that this is a sincere on his wisdom. And let me tell you something. I've been in this game for 2530 years.
My ship at the beginning Shekinah Callen have the hello to Allah He told me one thing.
He goes if someone can find me one of them are talking today then I want to give that person Salam.
Now we're all meant to be them from Dr. Kane. They act like how people have Taqwa. He goes find me one person who has Taqwa.
Like to actually achieve these stations of yarn, Ehsaan or Taqwa OB Saudi, or whatever, is something which we think we have. But then we discover you know, we're not really that person.
And I honestly think that Allahu Allah, Muhammad Sharif was from the soil him. I think that
and I said on Thursday, when he passed away battle, you're
just like you used to say commonly in his classes. And quoting, of course, the death of Nigeria, he, you've seen that video? And he said that today, a righteous man passed away. And I'm not saying that because he was so close to me, and I loved him so much and x&y is that he humbled me and he impressed me that, you know, I remember what happened next. And I said, Well, okay, I think about it, I'll think about it. He goes, Listen, but you know why they had told me how do you you know, and like I said, I used to prepare my lessons and this and that. He goes, I mean, I think that you can do so I think you can be even better. Have you thought about this are putting out all these kinds of
pie charts. And you know, timings How long do you teach for go? Yeah, well, I'm like, I don't even know how many minutes this has been going on. Right? I said, 30 minutes, probably an hour already. I'm the worst ever. I sent me about an hour and a half. He goes, You know that after 15 minutes, people stopped listening completely. I said, Nah, not my people. He goes, No, no, they stopped listening. Here's the evidence, here's this, here's a chance, whatever, whatnot. Then he started telling me about the 8020 rule. I said, what there was a 20 rule. And you know, I've not studied this rubbish, I just do it naturally. And when I realized what he was saying, I now I like I
remember when I was not practicing from the London seeing some of the monks. I suddenly realized sugar this is real gain. His proper flippin smashing it is done the whole thing, turned it around, whatnot, that at that moment, I knew that I'm going to take on McRib, and I'm going to join it, and I'm going to my classes are going to be the best I'm going to teach the most and what that was my experience with Sheikh Muhammad Sharif, in the beginning. And periodically, whenever we met, it would when whenever we spoke, it would be to improve my game. He would pick up people and he would take them to the next level. Every time everyone that he hired is the same.
What I want to say,
myself, right, is I needed to say some of these things. And it just few more things now because I know it's quite long. How long are we on now? How long? How many minutes? What do you mean? That's way too long. You see, this is now people are going to be losing interest. And my students, they don't deserve you and it's been sitting here for hours. What I want to say is that it is very, very important for people to reflect upon the things that happen around them and to allow their emotions to flow. And if they can't do it themselves and to speak to people, oxen biller is very, very, very important to to declare love to people to declare on a group the other day, I want to say these
things publicly because it's important. I'll give an example. Why are we only speaking about Muhammad Sharif, when he passed away? What was the difference? Yeah, and you're on Wednesday? Why didn't we only speak well about people? If we people if we know people to be amazing and great, why are we not telling them that they're amazing and great? Why are we not and I know that you know is good to not mention bad things about the dead and to mention when people die good things and that's what we're doing right now. But there's nothing in our religion that stops us speaking good. In fact, the prophets lie Selim encouraged us to tell someone that when you love them for the sake of
Allah and tell them that's that's creating a paradigm
and the reason we don't is because we've got egos nobody wants to praise another person publicly. Nobody wants to say that you know what? Yeah, surprise great voices, great, whatever people have persons Great. Okay.
And I just want to now say that navaid as is okay. Basically any scholar in Canada what mind recording and basically knows, right? Top Man, scholar, Imam, wonderful person.
I don't know if I know a better Muslim than never as is.
I don't know whether I know a person who did something more pure than an Islamic then nevertheless, he's he wrote
arbitrary of people before they died. Do you know what that Gino Gino what you need to be to do that? You need to be so pure miskeen and simple to do that. You know what I mean? I don't know whether you understand this at an event, he went on, you know, some trips and he you know he loves traveling and isn't that back in the day like 1314 without that 10 years ago, right. And
he met me and he met share what do you think? And we spent some time I've known about this for donkey's years, by the way, but I mean, there was like an intensive period where he was meeting me, right. And we were traveling and you know, he was studying me if you like, better lectures, better conference to start, whatever. And then he went on to Facebook and he writes this kind of like, piece. One line is an obituary, an obituary of a person that this is his what I remember about him, this is what I learned from him. All the things that people are saying about Muhammad Sharif right now. Right? He would write in their lifetimes, to look a man in the face and say that about another
person, do you know what it takes? Because I would never do it. Never have done it. I'll do it when that person has died. Because I my egos too big to do that to a person that's in front of me. I think if everyone asks themselves the same question they will believe and understand what I mean. Right? That does not exist enough in our community.
That doesn't exist enough. We are not honest enough with ourselves. When we are impressed with a person we should tell them. When we love a person we should tell them we should not be afraid to express our emotions. The prophets Allah said that he was not afraid to express his emotions. I should not the Allahu anha would not allow Ababa cara de la and hated the idea of him leading the prayer because he was too much expressing his emotions. And we've turned this game into something where it's hard not to cry. It's hard and to to to pretend that you're something and then they go on top themselves then they go and do X they own the medication. We need to be honest, we need to we
need we need to be
and that's what we're having to shift to a sheriff told me that's what he nothing else. I'll be honest with you. Rest of the stuff standard. Yeah, Islamic teaching standard stomach level standard, but his vision
walk Cymbala his vision. I want to say something Listen to me.
It's 20 years now 20 years Yeah, it's 20 years since I set up the Dow organization or whatever. And maybe add another 510 years before and I started practicing
I can't remember when internet was was started. I can't remember when it was created and I can't remember when phones became phones and emails became emails but I do remember that I was there at the beginning. And you all know what you do when you're there at the beginning of a new
a new one tech right so an email came or Facebook came I immediately
chose my name is network sola so that I don't get ended up with network Allah 136 7x y Zed yet some bestie kind of thing, right? When Snapchat came out the school Snapchat snap talk, whatever it's called. Anyway, I'm going straight in and putting them into lay in some package got to it before so I missed out. Yep. When Twitter came out, jump straight in got my name in. Now when email came out, I've got my name's in. Bank got wouldn't forget that. When my kids were born. I made an email accounts. I made him an account because by telling him it gets to you know, email age when she's saying she's going to end up with HIPAA. 123 76 Jani loves God knows what.gmail.com That's what
she's gonna end up with. Right? Because there's going to be a million habits by that time.
Now, look at the mindset. You want your name my teachers, networks, Allah hotmail.com I know. And then when Twitter announced Allah, and the Instagram is Abu Issa and these are valuable things short, no numbers, no bestie you need to get my point. Muhammad Sharif was there right at the beginning?
And he caught himself nation builder.
Huge mental guy. What are you talking about? You could put Muhammad [email protected] You could do what you need. [email protected] He was there before I was and he chooses nation [email protected] He doesn't nation bui[email protected] He goes Facebook nation builder, nation builder.
I had no ego he was never by himself. Never about himself. Genuine. You've heard all the you know all the other stuff. Listen to you know his good stuff somewhere else I'm interested. For me though. I just know that he had no ego. And for me, I just want to say that I think ego is going to kill us all. Listen, I said odious because
I feel vulnerable. Right? When you get older and start getting close to 50 start hurting and start being a pain etc. As we start to become more aware of your mortality. I've become very aware of my mental mortality and I don't mean
Thus the death of Muhammad Sharif it's a shock of course it is. But it's a blessing guy to got taken quick he avoided Socrata remote you know I teach the fear of death yeah and and people who my students know the the pros and the cons. There are two types of deaths you either go quick while you're either go long, slow. Both of them have their pros and cons in the Sunnah. Both of them are recommended or hopeful. I mean, write some love for the sudden death to avoid the everything. Others they know that their life has been an absolute disaster and so they need cancer. They need the pain. They need a palliative end disaster for one or two years to purify them so they don't need
purification afterwards. Muhammad Sharif Lago taking in Salah what that was going on there bro? got taken in Salama, right. I mean, he didn't die. But that's the beginning part. By the way. I don't mind sharing with you. His family only I don't mind whatever he would the medical understanding is that the myocardial infarction started early heart attack says that after heart attack after heart attack, you don't normally have just one big heart attack. You have small ones possibly beforehand, a myocardial infarction happens you don't even know what happened. Right? And so in Salah where the real thing happened, how comes back and briefly but then he's passed away very soon after Sudden
Death blessing for the believer as we know from the Sunnah, right? He got taken, but it's not just him that got taken. Right. This isn't just about mom we should yes Mujahid. She's our sister and close to us Dahlia. Their father got taken my auntie Robina from London she's from my people, my students. Her father just got taken. My my I need come i Samira. She, their father got taken. So Haley's father got taken. Right? There are other people have gotten taken and we don't hear about them when he No legacy with no nothing. Right? These are our beloved ones as well. There are small people that nobody cares about. Osama his son, 14 year old, got taken last year. All of them all of
them engender in sha Allah. And grief is something that we have to process and we can't lose it on just one of them. That's why I'm not losing. I'm having sheriff's thing. He's reminded me of my mom my mortality. When I hear about the people get taken, right. I can't remember I think about Uncle absolute God who is in Chico. That hurts me so much. And his wife got taken a couple of days ago. Auntie Jamila, she's like 8090 years old. She needs to go she needs to go. What'd she do? And earthcraft b&e, because she needs to go. But what it does, he reminds me of my mortality or Michaels moments with her. She read Quran with my wife, she's gone. I'm cut shorter. He used to be the hero
of our lives in Chico. He's gone. Chicago, Islam and Cheeto Islam father, they're dealing with it who right with it. I'm crying now more than I cried when it was taken. Why? Because I'm feeling my own mortality. What we have to develop is the skill to feel our own mortality. Right? To know, don't worry, I can prepared man Don't worry, trying to get a box of tissues. Are you kidding me? I knew this was going to be a disaster, right?
And we just need to be aware of our own mortality.
And it can't just be all you know what it is like me, this is the mistake. I'm telling you now on camera. This is the mistake that you get 50 and you get 40. And you start young and getting health problems and are now no it's got to be when you're early as well. When you're in your 20s if you're listening to this millennial generation said I know you hate my guts, Sandy, but I'm telling you listen to me. Gen Z folks, millennials young folks, okay, my name is Abu Issa. I know that young girl good repetition with you folks. Listen to me Be aware of your mortality. That doesn't mean that you're about to die. It means that you should act like you're about to die. That's it. Okay. We all
need to be aware of ourselves. You know, I'll tell you something right now. I you know,
I mean honestly
zoomin shift zoom in here.
You haven't seen or heard this.
I'm told it
just sped up because of the Holocaust.
Rahman DevExpress, you are humiliated.
To fill the ties of kitchen.
You're good the orphans.
Anybody needs help. You're the one who helps them
because you have an appointment in paradise.
For enumerator C'mon, Jana.
For enumerator, c'mon, Jana, that was what the prophets lie Selim said to sub Rania alias for enum or Docomo Jana, they put up with that torture.
Put up with your trial Jana is yours. That's what he told them. At the end at the beginning this hadith whereas the other one has seen so the prophets I send them Allah will never disgrace you.
he made us not apply this messenger.
Muhammad Sharif made us not aligned his message
under which, when we do that we are aware of our mortality.
He did that that's what he did. He made the comment to him to Jim did him the the machine in the back. You tell him he didn't improve the process. You said to me you didn't make it more closer. You're telling me that the emotional anchor this is real by the way, Allah created humans make that we smell a smell and remember things we hear a trailer and the memories come back. That's these are called Emotional anchors. Right?
A chef just repeating a hadith Yeah. And you have to be so so connected to the Sunnah. By the way, I've tasted that.
If you study your whole life, you will reach a level where a scholar without the effects and without them, you just say the words of the Hadith, and you're gone, you're gonna go, you got to reach a level with the Quran, everybody's meant to reach that level, that you've got to try to be there and not be dependent upon the recital. But oh my god, if the recital reminds you of Allah when you're reciting, then the province has said them said he is the best of people. The best people he said, is the recited not sounds great, beautiful 30 They're the one who reminds you of Allah when he's reciting. So the whole game is about being in the vicar, the remembrance of Allah and His messenger
and Muhammad Sharif, he did such a service to that whole industry, he made it an industry made it profession, and made people aware of it, and now it's everywhere, and we benefit from it. And so in your weak moments and your moments where you're aware of your mortality, and you're vulnerable, just just let it out, let it out. And when you're going through difficulty I want you to know that that's because you're meant to go through difficulty and let it out speak to people mental health is real sobran Yeah.
Be patient of having a Vyasa
because what you're going through is going to get you that guaranteed appointment in general that's what we want you to remember
that's what I wanted to say I want to say that listen I you know that fish Muhammad Sharif that Yanni that fish he embarrassed me we had a kickoff one day and you know our secretary can have him because you know saying something stupid like you know, I don't know this we should pay 100,000 pounds to have some event to invite I said what you you know what you always say stupid ideas blah blah blah. He goes what he goes you call me stupid ideas. You see what you did on the stage the other day? You know yesterday basically said the day he goes one thing I remember about Muhammad Sharif is uh he never said anything bad about Muslim he's wrong. He cost me money okay he's right
yeah and in that he never ever said anything bad about any other Muslim but me He attacked me i But look at his attack just to notice so that you know who he is
he's so sickly sweet as a nice guy. And I'm not that guy but he's such a nice guy that in anger he goes to me Yeah, yeah. Oh, who was crying Moo in the lecture on the on the thingy accompany we said that. This was after Malaysia on first where I spoke about the death of prototypes and when I lost it I'm not gonna lie and it was pathetic because the worst actually ever and I completely don't ever try to find the size of an elephant. And you know, massive and huge nerd was saying to me I was walking in this direction to hide my stomach. All this kind of behavior I get it it's horrible. And I lost the complete intellectual I couldn't speak couldn't breathe couldn't do anything and crying
whatever whatnot. And you know so many people were saying is okay I did great what what No, how should he goes you're pathetic you are crying like I couldn't believe he said something so mean I got You're so mean. Why would you say that to someone that he cries and you're thinking I go and so I was like angry? I go Have you seen yourself you literally ball in every single lecture that you give every reminder that you give you cry that go worse? I will cussing each other back and forth who cries the most in the lecture is Muhammad Sharif man never said anything bad about a person that was the worst thing that ever ever said that you cried well I'm proud I'm proud of mine and proud of
it. Just said it just so you know anyway, I don't want to go on I don't know what I don't know Well, I don't know where this will get this direction could go I wouldn't say unless parents have mercy upon Muhammad Sharif.
May Allah have mercy upon all of the people that have been lost as I said yes means father and Serbian his father the all of the the the the parents and relations and say hey your father they are much in line and all these people that made us who we are in one small way or not. Now those pads have mercy upon them and sedimentary agenda because he's John has vast
you know his vast in a way as vast because we need the space in there for us to go there.
So we're gonna get the Michelle know, Muslims have got a take on that place. was the guy in English, DECA. You know that man when you get to take out
Decker. When you tender? That's the word. Yeah, when you put out tenders. So that tender has been given out to the Muslims. And we took it well.
And we are so happy for these people, we can see science. You look at these parents, I think about the ones that have passed away. And the ones who are telling us who that have passed away. And you know, you look at MAMA Sharif and what his legacy and is great man is great is we make all make dua for his family, for his children. That's the last point is how to protect them and keep them strong. I kept telling his son, that, you know, you like superheroes, aren't you? Right? And you like the whole thing, right?
And he was looking at me, and I wasn't sure what he was understanding when
I said, you know, your father was a hero, man. I said, Look, left and right. Look left and right. And he was looking looking like this. And looking like this. I see all these people. They all came for your father.
They all came for your father. And he's like smiling, you know, he's like, trying to process it all. And I said, You're not gonna understand this much now.
But one day, you will remember that I told you this. And you will come back and know that your father was a hero for what he did.
But he's not the only hero. There are many heroes out there. Right. My closing message to myself and everybody is to remember death regularly.
Remember death regularly? I contacted some of these people I was, you know, yes, I said it again. The fish took all of my main lines. But he said exactly what I've been doing. I will admit when we saw him Leone last night, I had to I don't know how he had the meal. I cried all the way through the meal. Yeah. And I cried all night, all night. Everything out. And it's not because mama should if it was what he was saying. We were talking about for us. We're talking about the 90s talking about I just needed. The real ones. The old ones I just needed to speak to people speaking to people is incredibly cathartic. Okay, so find up men, women do it all the time, we're gonna get this on lock.
Women got some luck, they meet up regularly, once a stupid, stubborn, arrogant idiot, Stan who don't do it. So I'm speaking to the men. Okay? If you're suffering, if you're in trouble, whatever, whatnot, and our families are not good. I mean, all of us, obviously, many of us in our culture, we're married into women that you know, maybe from other cultures and they don't open up, you know, they're not Westerners. They're from Eastern background. And we don't get the help from our wives. Okay? Don't doesn't mean you have to now go out and do something else. Go and find people that you can trust. All right, I think I should just end it there. Again, those people who thought that this
was a tribute to Sheikh Mahmoud, if I made it clear, it wasn't it was more about just me rambling on and just really sing and just, you know,
but as a closing message,
we have to obviously,
spread the benefit, get be better, be stronger in the right times. But in the right times, also we need to release and there's nothing wrong with that. Well, Allahu Allah, Allah Allah. May Allah subhanaw taala make this a source of benefit may Allah has plans to forgive us for anything that we've done wrong we lost power to Allah allow Sheikh Mohammed Sharif's pioneering thoughts ideas, his charity his behind the scenes work oh my god that's how you hide the scenes works amazing is coming out now. All of its coming out all those skeletons are coming out. And those skeletons are amazing. He gave me 1000 pounds when I was desperate. My car broke down and he fixed it he paid for
my electricity bill nobody knows all the secret ones are coming up what what skeletons to come out? What skeletons and listen, I know that guy is not the only I told you he's not worthy of Allah's privacy I've never seen in his life. But we've got to make sure that his good is better than his bad. And we've got to make sure that that we honor that by practicing better by knowing just now you heard that clip and you remember the I need that moment that Allah Subhana Allah sent you really set up to the prophets lie Selim. And the prophets lie Selim said murder because I can't do it. I can't do it. Scared him so much that he went to the lady and he spoke to her.
Are we doing that who speaks to their wives?
And where are the wives and is saying Cornelissen speak to me, man. Tell them about your day. Tell me tell or not just tell me about a day. And I know at the moment this is a big thing by the way, men. There's a big pressure on men. And you know what, this is a reason why people are moving towards Joe Rogan's and Jordan Peterson's and things like that is because men don't feel that the women will listen to them.
I don't want to turn this into now a whole flippin different thing. But Joe Rogan said what something and I don't want to be promoting Joe Rogan either but he said the line he goes that you know men out there providing for the families are just not appreciated at the moment. They're just not. And they go through a hell of a lot of pressure. And things look all okay, but they're not okay. They're not okay. The pressure
You're having to worry about their children and finances, and they do it in their closed way. They are not okay. No man is okay. And women need to understand that they need to speak to them. They need to allow it to be an open and nice atmosphere. Or they need to allow them to go with their friends and do it separately. Allow them to just chill. And now making some excuse now for the women to let them and older men say yeah looks to do with the sheriff said no, you have to let me go. And if you don't do I'm gonna commit suicide. Yeah, you don't listen. You can't do that. But last year, women, you got to treat your women better. Your women now, if they know they can also have their
free time and they can have family time out. They know that they can enjoy their time with you. Then they will let you then go. They will let you go with your favorite guys and let off steam and the only sort of mental health out there will be you can't then box them off inside and leave them with all the kids and they got nothing except the pressure of the kids. You can't do that works both ways. This turning into Rambo. Just close it the Walla Walla hooter al alum. Shout out to Ed McGraw for standing up for Chuck mom, the sheriff shout out to his family for being absolutely awesome and allowing me to do this. Shout out to my teachers that have given me the confidence to be the person
that I am today. Shout out to my students that remain loyal, that are my love, the love of my life, whether it's LP whether it's Al Maghrib, whether it's the people I see in Masjid, shout my friends. I did this in front of people who are old, old friends that people don't even know from 35 years, 30 years, 25 years to people who are like my blood brothers, two students that have been with me I wanted to do it through small gathering, so that I can feel the message that I want to say, now let's pantallas the benefit Subhanak along with having a shadow Hola. Hola. Hola and Mustafa Calamba tuberculate wa salam ala he over the classroom