DONATION APPEAL!

ALL our Projects are FREE and with no advertisements.

We serve millions of downloads a month... Now! Imagine earning on-going rewards of every lecture and quran audio and so on.

As well as helping us cover our running costs and future projects!

mufti menk image

"I really think this is one of the greatest causes one could support"

    Become a Patron
    Donate via PayPal

More Information and Options

I will be Okay!

share this pageShare Page
Abdulfattah Adeyemi

Channel: Abdulfattah Adeyemi

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


00:00:19--> 00:00:21

It is okay to look good, feel good

00:00:22--> 00:00:24

and be happy.

00:00:25--> 00:00:33

We are not demanding too much we want to be treated with kindness and respect. We are human beings with legitimate feelings and needs.

00:00:35--> 00:00:57

Although some conditions can be beyond one's control things happen, where it is okay to have difficulties wants to know why it is okay to feel confused or to run out of ideas or obrah wants to know why one might not know what to do next, who to talk to where to find the missing piece of one's life.

00:00:59--> 00:01:01

Oh reality may be awfully

00:01:02--> 00:01:04

big pictures maybe feeling

00:01:05--> 00:01:26

a little details might be distracting. And the current situation can be confusing. Perhaps some things happen to us because we have a regular sense of indifference. That is, most of the situations in which we find ourselves could be consequences of our actions and inactions

00:01:28--> 00:01:29

to be ignored,

00:01:32--> 00:01:33

or impulse

00:01:34--> 00:01:41

or maybe we would see manipulated, destructive, or maybe we got trapped while trying to feed us

00:01:43--> 00:01:47

or we got caught while trying to steal a deal.

00:01:49--> 00:02:06

It is okay not to be okay. With it is not okay? to lie to yourself that you are okay. When you are not is okay? If your experiences make you wiser. It's okay. If your nightmares make you breathe.

00:02:07--> 00:02:10

It is okay. If your fault make you stronger.

00:02:12--> 00:02:28

When doesn't seem okay, if the persons who attract you most strongly, and those who hurt you, those who abandon you, literally and teach you emotional living you empty yourself out.

00:02:30--> 00:03:00

In my own opinion, you are not working. When the person who appeals to you for relationship is someone who's unable to relate well to others, or someone that is quote and one affectionate or stubborn or selfish, or sulking or melancholy. Maybe it's such a presidency be wired and irresponsible or unable to make a commitment or be faithful. Or maybe the person's ability to emote is removed.

00:03:01--> 00:03:29

It is not okay. When you are in your relationship based on expectations of things that might not happen. You need to know that they will change. You live in a fantasy, thinking that if you suffer no longer enough, your partner will suddenly realize that they have been killing us slowly. And that they will transform into what fits conveniently into your imagination. You I need to

00:03:30--> 00:03:32

speak in a different mode.

00:03:33--> 00:03:34

Tomorrow may

00:03:35--> 00:03:40

things be any different. Is this fantasy you're expressing

00:03:42--> 00:03:44

Are you looking to fit later?

00:03:45--> 00:03:55

Then you say read every hint of behavior that shows that they are improving your career for now accrue for fiction and writing.

00:03:57--> 00:04:01

Are you consider yourself lucky that you are even getting the crumb

00:04:02--> 00:04:08

being treated like a human being seems a great privilege. You're right.

00:04:09--> 00:04:13

become famous in the hand of your imprison.

00:04:14--> 00:04:23

You have reached your happiness to someone who earns it from your joy is measured in drops. Like in periodic medicine,

00:04:25--> 00:04:25

begging,

00:04:27--> 00:04:27

pleading for

00:04:29--> 00:04:36

praying for attention. You are humility yourself. So your partner will feel inferior to

00:04:37--> 00:04:55

us agricultural growth so that their refusal to grow won't be accurate. You are refusing to thrive so that they can feel secure in their mediocrity. You are aligned them to be free emotionally and to drain you financially

00:04:57--> 00:04:59

so they won't abandon you up

00:05:00--> 00:05:00

Whether

00:05:01--> 00:05:14

you suffer physical exhaustion, when looking for ways to help them to help themselves, you go into prayer and fasting, so that God can help you to stop them from cheating on you.

00:05:15--> 00:05:38

You assume that's because we're not good enough. That's why they prefer sleeping around. You think you've not done well enough. That is why they are not happy. You lie to yourself that they're ignoring you is because they are very, very busy to walk. You lie to yourself, that they give malice because they are having a bad mood.

00:05:39--> 00:05:47

You lie to yourself, that they give you cold shoulders, because you are not hot enough to warm their ego.

00:05:48--> 00:06:01

you deceive yourself that their tantrum and anger is because they are stressed out and worried about things. you deceive yourself that you maturity and pettiness is because they didn't grow up with love.

00:06:03--> 00:06:06

And that is why you have to read every word.

00:06:07--> 00:06:08

We have to

00:06:09--> 00:06:16

measure every silence you keep and keep to our around them so as not to awaken

00:06:21--> 00:06:38

for yourself that the inadequacy and the responsibility is because they are not encouraged well enough. Or you betray your confidence that their hypocrisy and infidelity is because there are many temptations out there.

00:06:42--> 00:06:46

You are paralyzed with fear. You wallow in self pity.

00:06:47--> 00:06:49

How will you be okay? When you're married.

00:06:52--> 00:06:55

You are willing to wait and work harder to

00:06:56--> 00:07:09

soon become a heavyweight champion in Kearney responsibilities that are not yours. As if that's not enough, you carry guilt for the recklessness. You carry shame for the charities

00:07:10--> 00:07:18

and you carry blame for their petty mindedness. And you'd be a burden for their weaknesses, so they can be happy.

00:07:21--> 00:07:35

don't even believe anymore. That's fine too person with authentic emotional needs. So you work very hard at convincing others that you actually exist. There you are.

00:07:36--> 00:07:44

Your service team is critically do like a full battery. That is just 2% your network is just one bar

00:07:46--> 00:07:47

at a time.

00:07:53--> 00:07:58

Rather, you have resolved to live the lives of others for them, for the consumers.

00:07:59--> 00:08:00

You live when

00:08:02--> 00:08:04

you are only breathing, not

00:08:07--> 00:08:09

being surviving, not thriving.

00:08:10--> 00:08:11

You are living

00:08:12--> 00:08:17

up to somebody else's original. He made them your choice and you're actually

00:08:19--> 00:08:19

at peace with me.

00:08:24--> 00:08:36

Be deliberately choose to hang on to the wrong partner. Because we're a people pleaser will be that you are attracted to Brooklyn spouses. Because you are the people fixer

00:08:38--> 00:08:43

will be the seeker the underdogs because you are the rescuer.

00:08:44--> 00:08:49

You actually have a toxic relationship. Because you are an antidote.

00:08:51--> 00:08:54

You seem to like clean people's mess for them.

00:08:55--> 00:08:55

A safe

00:08:58--> 00:09:04

appears as if my relationship to distract yourself from things that really matter.

00:09:06--> 00:09:14

If you are preoccupied with beautiful relationships, so you can have someone else to be problems in life

00:09:15--> 00:09:19

will be that you're secretly enjoying the drama and the surprises

00:09:20--> 00:09:23

and the maneuvers, the pains,

00:09:24--> 00:09:35

the nausea, the anxiety, the thinking, the depression, the insomnia, and the panic attacks, that toxic relationships put you through

00:09:37--> 00:09:38

skills.

00:09:39--> 00:09:50

If not, why is it that the healthy, sane, responsible partner will give you the love and affection that you need to feel boring to?

00:09:56--> 00:09:59

Possibly is not that your partner is not compatible.

00:10:00--> 00:10:04

You may be you are not compatible. If your partner

00:10:05--> 00:10:11

is not that they are not the right persons for you, it's possible that you are not the right person for them.

00:10:12--> 00:10:14

You can always bind What does not click,

00:10:16--> 00:10:29

I want you to realize that nowadays, people no longer seek freedom. Rather, they focus more on standards of living. They are more concerned with what they can stand to gain

00:10:30--> 00:10:34

than the human dignity that they are losing.

00:10:35--> 00:10:50

People are increasing in their comfort zone. They are trapped and Tangled, confused and depressed. I know that so things are not just okay. It's not okay for us to tell your stories.

00:10:53--> 00:10:58

But we know that your outer stagger review of your inner circle

00:11:00--> 00:11:00

is not

00:11:04--> 00:11:06

to be treated like this.

00:11:07--> 00:11:22

It's not okay to be condemned to screams of pain. Instead of being blessed with moments of pleasure is not okay to be taken for granted when we want to love. It's okay to be snapped by the one.

00:11:23--> 00:11:39

It is not okay to be demeaning but the one you respect is not okay to have to explain yourself every time. It is not okay to have to apologize every time. It is not okay to be an accomplice when you are being victimized.

00:11:40--> 00:11:41

When

00:11:42--> 00:11:46

it is so clear that the hell did you wish to

00:11:47--> 00:11:49

share similar interests?

00:11:51--> 00:11:51

Sometimes

00:11:53--> 00:12:19

it's okay to risk asking for help. You should go ahead and admit your weaknesses. Go live before anyone that can help you remove the phone, your phone that keep your nails to your breath and pass and your tormenting preference. To get to believe all these questions or not, you should continue to meet well informed efforts in the right direction. Get a mentor so you can remove the issues see your tissue.

00:12:24--> 00:12:26

knowledge, knowledge to

00:12:27--> 00:12:31

cherish your dignity as a human being and develop your skill.

00:12:32--> 00:12:41

So the old clouds in the skies of your mind will become shower, washing your parched dry souls into fatter and new beginnings.

00:12:43--> 00:12:44

When mixing classical

00:12:49--> 00:12:55

conditioning, whether you are the one looking at the Euro, or the new that's looking at you

00:12:57--> 00:12:58

or what's going on in your life.

00:12:59--> 00:13:00

See to your

00:13:02--> 00:13:02

help