Channel: Aarij Anwer
If a girl is prevented from getting married by her wali (father/brother) for no legitimate reason, what can she do? Can she find another wali?
“When you divorce women and they have reached their set time, do not prevent them from remarrying their husbands if they both agree to do so in a fair manner. Let those of you who believe in God and the Last Day take this to heart: that is more wholesome and purer for you. God knows and you do not.” (2:232)
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Hola, hola. mundo de la havapoo colenso de de
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Manuel de la hora, Sula
Lima, I'm about
I want to share something of a topic that I've wanted to talk about for a while, but it's actually been something that I've hesitated speaking about. And
the reason why I wanted to speak about it was because I had received a few people a few emails from a few people asking about the same thing. And whenever I would speak about it at the MSA or just with people individually, others will reach out to me and ask the same question. So it seems like this is a topic that people want to hear about.
But it's a difficult topic to unpack.
But I will try my best to share with you charlo this is
I'm gonna frame it around an idea of the forum. I am number 232 of Sudoku Baccarat, and there's a lot more classes where a lot of love to manisa alpha balogun agenda hoonah faletau una
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This is number 232 from Surah Baqarah in which our last part law says that when you have divorced women, talking to men, that when you have divorced somebody
and that lady has finished the waiting period her her waiting period before she can get married, have Allah Allah hoonah then that lady who's a divorced lady should not be stopped from remarrying again,
either Toronto binomial models as long as there is a consensus or there is a agreement mutually between the two between the divorce lady and her husband, who she wants to marry.
Was my process that is that you are to be human can I mean camino Bella, he was young. That is a reminder, that easy admonition from Allah for the one who believes in Allah, and the last day that is pure for you that Lika as radical as callicoon autoharps that is pure and better. Allahu yharnam want to know darlin Allah knows and you don't know, this ayah has as you can tell by the translation, a context, a suburban zoo, a reason why the ayah was revealed. So I want to share that with you in Sharla as well to make sense of what Allah Allah is saying. And then from that,
talking about the topic at hand,
mm, even Cassia and portobay and many others narrate describing the books of the seal the background to this ayah that is recorded by Mr. mahadi and many others have Saba sunon that Martin in yourself of the long run who is so hobby had married off his sister to a man and a nozawa, otaku Raja, Ramadan Muslim, Allah, Allah He saw them in the time of the prophet SAW them. So
this, the sister of Martin
ended up getting a divorce from her husband
and came back to the house of Martin. Now her husband wanted to re marry her. The husband who had just divorced her, wanted to re marry her. They wanted to get back together reconcile.
Martin said, a crumb to kombucha was a wedge to Fortaleza Hola Hola, todos de Rue la caja abandon martinlogan on set, as the, as the brother of this of your sister protect the brother of a sister. He says, I honored you. I married you my sister. And then you did this. You divorced her. She's not coming back to you.
She's not returning to you.
At this time, this ayah was revealed. The one I just recited 232. And then when Martel heard this for Lama samyama he said.
He said I hear what my lord has to say. And I am going to respond to my Lord.
Who's a woodworker or remote worker first one Yemeni he says to this man, I'm going to marry her back to you. You can have you can get married again.
And I will honor you. I dishonored you by saying what I've said, I will honor you. And I will I took your oath that you know, you can get together, I'm going to expiate my oath.
That's the background. Now, let me unpack that a little bit as well,
in Islam, if a man and a woman get married, and then the husband issues a divorce,
after the waiting period, which is about three months, approximately, has finished the bit within that period, the husband has the rights to reconcile and resume the marriage after the waiting period. If it's the first time or the second time that they have divorced, they can remarry and get back together again. But this has to be with mutual consent, either or although binomial models mutual consent, they both have to be on the same page. If it's the third time, it's too late. It's been too many times of divorces happen. But two times it's fine, they can get back together. This is what the IRA is referencing, specifically, that if a husband and a wife has just divorced, and then
the waiting period has passed, three months have passed. Now they want to get back together and they can get back together according to the IRS according to the shediac. And they are either tarago binomial models, they want to get back together. Neither they regret the decision they made they regret the fact that what happened between them the issues that were were caused.
But the family
the family refuses, the family of the girl says no, no way.
That's what are those partners referring to Fernando de Luna, don't come in the way to stop these people from getting married again.
That specifically is what the is referring to.
It is also a general ruling. The general ruling here and that's what I want to talk about is the idea of album, hindrance, preventing a woman from getting married to somebody who is what is described in the books of fit as
someone who is an appropriate match for her, stopping them from getting married as someone who has never gotten married, or preventing her from getting remarried to her ex husband, or preventing her from getting remarried to somebody else.
A man that she's never been married to before any of these situations, the ruling generically can be applied to all of them, as you can understand the specific idea and the specific situations about that particular case, the divorce, and the reconciliation of a husband and a wife. Okay, but it applies to all the cases outside of it as well. The cases of hindrance and hindrance from the worry of the of the girl, the girl who has a woody generally your father or her brother hindrance from them.
Allah, Allah has explicitly banned that falada de Luna, this is a Navy.
And this is Iijima of the former head that this is something that cannot be done. A woman who wants to get married should not be stopped from getting married. This is the email that was referring to this is the conversations I referred to in the very beginning of my of my introduction, that I've had more than a few people reach out to me and ask this question. I have a I want to marry this, this boy or I want to marry this man. And my father is refusing it. What's the basis of the refusal? Well, I am from this country, or my father and mother came from this country and this particular person is from that country. That's the basis of it.
What do I do, and this girl is trying her best. This one instance and many other instances like that trying your best to do things statically they're not going out on dates that are hanging out together by themselves. They want to do things as a last part, dada has outlined in his book and as the messenger of a last long practice with his son.
But the hindrance for this couple is
their own family.
And the basis of the hindrance is not a valid basis. There is a valid basis for a body to reject a proposal. The scholars of faith have many chapters on this topic. For example, a person who is not practicing the faith that is basis for the wanting to say you know what, I don't want to marry my daughter or my sister off to this person or somebody who is
In a corrupt person, their business practices are shady, they're cheating the nine, those are basis for a 401 D to say, you know what, this is not something that's not a person I want to be married into my family, legitimate, no problem.
The illegitimacy comes when the other the hindrance has absolutely no basis in the Sharia. And it becomes a reason that pushes people away from the practice of the faith, as it should be, to the practice of something that's hard. The temptation of huddle.
It's a very serious matter for the sisters.
And we need to have a honest, look at ourselves and our families
and have an honest look at our community. How is it? Or why is it that we are putting barriers in front of people that Allah and His Messenger did not put? And then those barriers are pushing those same people towards her on?
The prophets of Salaam, told us in a Hadith of the Buddha,
in marriage, in the intimacy of a couple that is considered to be an act of worship, like an act of charity.
The Sahaba asked
a doula Shahada, who one of us is basically fulfilling our desires. And that is a reason for
the Prophet son replied by saying, our
low Baba haffi harem. Again, Allah He was considered if he was to do the same thing, the intimacy that he has just achieved, or has this practice, if this person was to do it in a manner, would it not be sinful? Wouldn't it be something that they're liable for on the day of judgment?
The answer is yes. So that is why doing it, according to the Sharia, doing it in a halal way, is an act of worship, because the alternative is haram. There isn't any other hot out alternative to it.
So this hindrance, unfortunately, is something that pushes us away from what is harmful, and pushes our young people towards something that is haram.
And that is a very big deal. That's a very big deal. We see in the scholars or the scholars of fit talking about this. We have, for example, the our Messiah from
the Association of Muslim jurists of America, they have a declaration on family law, and then how to deal with issues of the family in North America. Okay, that's a very interesting document, I encourage you to Google it and read it a charlo. In that, they mentioned that in the case of hindrance, if the Wali, if a man, like the father, or the brother of a girl is illegitimately hindering the girl from getting married, on a basis that is not approved by the Sharia on something that does not make sense logically, okay, if that's the case, and that is established, then the wonder of the girl no longer remains the worry. And the girl can proceed with either someone like
her uncle like a dad's brother, as well he or a trusted reliable Eman as well. And this is something you can leave in the declaration. This is article 2324 and 25 of that declaration, and they give evidences from the shadier from that for that reason. In fact, this is my lie. This is actually each member of the scholars, once hindrance is established, the when he loses his vinaya,
the will he has lost the rights to be a wedding, because he is not fulfilling the role of the woman, the role of the woody is to protect is to protect from threats that maybe the girl cannot see. It's ensure that he is vetting the person properly. But the role of the woman isn't to become the obstacle to marriage. That's not the rule of the body. And when that happens, and it's established on unclear grounds, then that person loses the desire and that is something that the fuqaha are much more IE they all agree upon this.
It's a serious matter, brother and sisters, as I mentioned in the introduction to mahoba. This requests in one way in one form or the other has received it multiple times as messages to people who are
frankly very, very desperate
and extremely frustrated.
And they alternate between frustration and anger, frustration because they can't move on with their lives. Anger because they don't know what to do.
left for them.
These are serious matters. And that's what our scholars take this stuff very seriously.
And they talk about this email, Mama Mama. Mama goes one step further.
He takes this to another level, among other himolla says, and this is the standard position in the method of human Mohamad that he won, he who rejects
continuously, repeatedly, the proposals for growth
continuously and repeatedly rejects the proposal for a girl. And the proposals are good people. There's no basis for that rejection. The person who does this has
lost the will, if that's what you are it, everybody agrees to that. But he says something else. He says this man is a first.
So this man is a facet. And he says, his territory is questionable. His Shahada is not accepted in court. And if he leads the people in sala de Sala is invalid.
This is from the shoot they had the Salah shoot of, of mama in the matter of Mr. Mohammed, that if the one he who is an you know, who is not when he's preventing, and this establish cannot leave the salon. If he comes to give testimony in court, the court has to throw out his testimony.
That is how far Imam Ahmed goes with this to him Allah, because it's a serious matter. It takes people who want to do things the right way, and forces their hand to do things the wrong way.
That's a devastating thing to do. It's a really, really devastating thing. The whole motto is well, no, it's tough to do a lot of suffering all over.
You are ready.
I began by
reminding you or sharing with you that this is a difficult topic. And it's a complicated complex topic. And I'd like to
highlight and clarify that family matters are sensitive. Okay, I'm speaking in general terms, I'm speaking about an ayah its explanation, the take of the focus on the matter specific circumstances are
each each each case should be dealt with on its individual basis, or as individual merits and these are sensitive matters. I'm speaking in generic terms and providing generic guidelines. Okay, specific issues. I encourage you very very strongly to speak to Schiff I mean, about those matters, seek counsel and get the specific guidance for your particular situation from him. Have you level
all that Seven Sisters, our faith is a divine light.
That's what we believe.
Yeah, yeah. The lovely Nori Manisha Allah guides to his light, whoever he wants, what ends up in a camera movie now we have sent you a clear light.
This know that Allah describes this light that allows Partha talks about in the Quran, referring to his, his religion as such, again and again, speaks to the person the the the revelation from a last part on the show, Dr. And the practitioner of the show, Dr. Nolan who adheres to Sharia, when they practice the religion and adhere to the laws of the last panel data, that is a person who is willing to work that is a person who is enlightened.
That is what that's how we're supposed to see ourselves when we are practicing the Quran and Sunnah. That we have been enlightened by the Quran and Sunnah. That's what our faith is brothers and sisters. It never condones oppression.
Our faith does not condone oppression, La da da da da da da, the prophet son has established this as the principal. In the Harlem tomorrow, NFC or john wayne okuhara monferrato. Allah, Allah, Allah has said, I have forbidden oppression
and have made it forbidden to you so don't oppress each other.
In the law of living with color, the last part Allah does not even even the smallest thing that we can think of a lost partner will not wrong it will enter who hasn't eaten. You don't refer to the contrary if there's anything good alone, multiply that
What are faith is whatever there is good. There is naturally good in people fit the law, the law in that the Father and NASA Alena, that's how it was when we believe the hatanaka in Santa Fe is Anita, we were created in the best way, with a sound mind with a pure heart.
The Sharia comes to make it better. The Sharia is there to take those things to the next level,
to remove whatever is not good, and to magnify and make better what's good in a person. That is our Deen manzana a Guru mobila. That's the light of a loss putana
rT does not condone oppression, in fact seeks to eradicate it. It wants to remove it, remove it at every turn. If you see an oppression or oppressive situation within our families or extended families or communities, it's our responsibility to speak out against it. It's our responsibility to discuss it with wisdom. Allah subhanaw taala becoming Hekmati. One more I loaded with wisdom with good words, not offending, not hurting, not insulting, in a way that will inspire change.
That's part of our fates. That's what the professor told us. When Raman kumaun Karen fonua. If you see evil, change it for them. Yes to them, Homicide. If you're unable to change it, then speak out against it. Whether this doctor forbid, he was illegal outlaw for the man. And even if you can't speak out against it, because it's dangerous, they will probably harm you that at least know that it's wrong. Don't forget that it's wrong. Don't let oppression Don't let evil become the norm. That's the weakest level of human out lawful Eman. The implication is below that there is no email left.
Below the weakest level there is none.
Part of our faith is to talk about these things and the things that are not correct in our in our in our communities and our families. And hopefully, through the light that Allah has revealed in his book. Through that we find our solutions. Ask us why not give us the topic to understand the product sooner and to implement in our lives as well. To make it easy for those young brothers and sisters who are looking to get marriage as co sponsor and make it easy for them and to save them from temptation and fitna that surrounds them. We asked a lot smarter to open up the hearts open up the hearts of the only year of the willies open up the hearts of the families so they don't prevent
their young from getting married. In no way. I will call it early in the La homiletical. Sunday night and maybe you will in the National Football League. He was a new receiver last Sunday and I will have a different opening Sunday and I have a different city of Salida Muhammad. Allah idioma de la
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