Channel: Zohra Sarwari
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know the volume issue the emphysema.
I mean, say you add the air marlina Mayor De La Paloma de la la la la la hora de la wa Chateau en la ilaha illallah wa de la sharika. Wash eyeshadow ana Muhammadan of the hula suit.
Okay, In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, The Most magnificent, All praise is due to Allah, Lord of the universe. We praise Him and we seek His help and his forgiveness, and we seek His protection from that curse Satan. whomever I like guides will never be misguided. And whoever here loves to be misguided will never be that will never be guided. I've been witness that there's no di D worthy of worship except Allah who was one alone and has no partners. And I bear witness that Muhammad is a servant and Messenger May the blessings of Allah be upon him, his family, his companions of the righteous who follow them until the day of judgment. I mean, alright, so last
Monday. So here we are sisters. How is everyone doing? To start off a little bit a little bit of icebreaker? How is everyone doing Everyone ready to get on track and to start establishing whole new goals and achieving them inshallah?
All right, wonderful. I need to be excited inshallah, okay, this is gonna be a great session, and everyone's gonna have their energy and Okay, if you need your cup of tea, your tie your coffee, taking them with you. All right.
inshallah, I'm gonna get started, I'm gonna get right into it, and shut up. Okay. So we're gonna start with our first phase been changing your thinking, this is a very, very important point. And during the lecture, I will ask you guys, if you have one, every I request you guys to take some notes, if you really, really want to see transition and progression, and you want to actually make a difference. I want you guys to be able to take notes for the first phase of this webinar, what is the first step, the first step for the part time management and and this is going to be this lecture is going to be based on a book I will call the power time managers. So it's called powerful time
management skills for Muslims. So I'm going to be using a lot of that
content, but obviously, it's going to have many more stories and many more inputs, and you can ask questions at the end. So the first step is obviously changing your thinking, this, this is a vital step, okay? Before you start to say, Okay, I want to manage my time. And I want to achieve all this, and I want to get a handle, but you have to first of all have a whole different way of thinking. And this is vital, this is vital, okay? If you cannot change your thinking, then you will not be able to manage your time, it's going to be almost impossible. So, so what is it mean? You probably think it is or what do you mean that I have to change my thinking? I mean, how how does that work? Well, if
you have a different outlook, say say for right now, I mean, I'm gonna give you some different kinds of examples throughout lecture. But say for right now, you know, here you are. And this might not apply to you sisters, or it might apply, but I'm just going to give you an example. So your sister who wants to work a job, right? And here you are, you want to wear his job, and you're thinking, Okay, I want to wear his job in my heart. I mean, I love Islam, I know it's the right thing to do. But I don't have the guts to do it. Right. This is the back of your mind. So you're thinking like this, I like I said, save all questions for the end. Okay. So you have this idea, and you want to do
it, but you haven't taken whether it's the courage, the note eemaan, moose, officeteam, whatever you call it, you haven't had that stuff to actually go and do it. So how do we do this? How do we come back in order for you to get to that step of actually wearing Hijab inshallah, firstly, you have to have that your whole thinking has to be able to change into that way of thinking. So what do you know, what do you How can that happen? Right? How is that possible? Obviously, the first most important way to do that is when there is something you want to achieve or accomplish, and I'm going to go back with a job but I will give a different example throughout the lecture. When you want to,
you know whether it's a job, you're going to make a list of why you want to wear the hijab. Why? What is the purpose? I mean, is it because Allah, Allah has commanded it from us? Is it because of this because of that one is it and obviously the top should be the most important reason which is the reason we lost power of Allah and then our
Obviously, you can add more things down the line. So you have this listener
here before, you did not have an idea, you wanted to hear his job, and marshmallows. But now you have this whole list, you have this list that tells you, okay, I want to work a job. And now, here's all the reasons why, you know, you have this idea, you want to do something, and now you need to write it down, you to write it down, and you need to be able to say, Why do you want to do it? And by doing this, this helps your ability to change your thinking, Okay, so you have 90 kind of a direction, okay, I want to wear the hijab, Michelle, and these are all the reasons why I want to wear and then I want to do I want you guys to do something else. And this is kind of relate to gold,
but I want you to give yourself a deadline, a deadline. And this is what most people don't do. They don't give themselves a deadline, whether it's losing weight, whether it's you know, getting a degree, whether it's getting the right job, whether whatever it is they're doing, they don't tend to give themself a deadline, I want you to give yourself a deadline and say, This is how long I'm going to do. Okay, and then this amount of time. And it's funny, because I usually ask this when a sister says, I want to work a job and shall I'm going to work a job, you know, what I use, ask them when? When are you going to do it, inshallah? And they'll say, yeah, so I'm like, when, when as soon like,
tomorrow, next week, next year, and they'll be like, no, and I'm 35. I'm like, okay, so you're 30. So you're saying in five years, if you're alive, you're gonna work, you're gonna wait five more years, 365 times five, right. And I do this because I really want them to visualize what they're saying. And a lot of times, we don't visualize it, we just say it. But we don't think beyond you know what we say. So I want you guys to do that right now for yourself. So in order for you guys to achieve something, and I want each one of you to pick one thing that you want to manage your time about, pick one thing, we're gonna have a whole sort of things, well, you know how Time management
is really wonderful, everything we do, but I want you to pick one thing that you really want to add in your schedule, and you have not been able to do it due to time management. So what does that is exercising an extra 30 minutes a day, or whatever that is cooking the right foods or whether that is taking back crock pots, which has really been wanting to do, or learning Arabic, whatever it is, pick something and I want you to have that in mind throughout this course inshallah, because by the end of the course, I'm hoping that we can add whatever you chosen to your schedule, inshallah. All right.
Mind you guys, I do get excited. So if I'm going too fast, just take notes and take questions and I'll answer at the end inshallah. Okay, you haven't seen me live when I'm on stage, and the more people come, the more I get excited for my life. Amazing.
All right. So with that being said, let's go to that. When does time management begin? You know, a lot of people say sorry, you know, when should I start this? And the answer to this is, in order for you to begin time management, you must be getting it right this moment, this moment, this is your attitude, your attitude right now it begins inshallah, not when the class is over, not tomorrow, not next to your eye, your whole mentality should be right now. It's beginning right now. And the way you have that is by changing your attitude, by having the attitude that thing, inshallah, we're going to get it done. And Charlotte, I'm ready, and Charlotte started. And when you think about it,
you must also have that desire, that inner burning desire to change, you know, there's a really, really good thing that unless there's pain, or pleasure, we don't change, right? There's pain or pleasure, those are the only two times we change. For example, pleasure would be someone saying, Okay, I'm going to get married, I am excited to get married. And because they're thinking they're getting married, they're going to change, right they want to change for the better, whether that's losing that last 30 pounds, because now their wedding is coming up in business, all this pleasure is coming to us so excited, or whether they just found out they've got diabetes, and if they don't lose
30 pounds, they can have you know, a limb cut off.
Either way, there has to be the pain or pleasure something really drastic in order for us to change. So I want you to think you know, what is it it's your it's gonna be a mental attitude and I want you to have that desire Why do I want to change so bad why why so let's just say you picked I'm going to pick a different topic this time because we did the head job and but I just want to touch on each one because I don't know what issues sisters have. So I'm going to kind of touch with everything. Let's just say you have a desire, which many sisters have is to lose weight, because everyone wants to be healthy even under those of buyers. We want to look good Mashallah, right? And I tell you, I
just had a baby girl, Mashallah four months ago, and Subhanallah I'm just like, wouldn't all this weight come from
But anyways, I you know, I've got about 30 pounds to lose myself. And it's really hard to do it right now because I'm nursing the baby. And obviously, if anyone who knows when you're nursing, you really can't lose much weight because you have to keep eating in order to keep producing milk. So my goal is inshallah The moment I stopped nursing, which is hopefully
It'd be after a year, inshallah, I'm hoping that listeners for a year, if not longer, but the moment I stopped nursing inshallah, after that I give myself six months to lose my 30 pounds. And I've always done that I've always given myself a timeframe with each one of my, you know, children in childbirth, and I was able to meet that deadline from Allah. So you have to give yourself that, you know, timeframe. Okay, so But the first thing is you're asking you desire, what's your desire? Why, and my desire is for two things. One, I've noticed that with the extra 30 pounds, I'm, it's much harder for me to move around, I'm not as light. So it takes more effort to move around. So I'm
wasting more time and when I can be more productive. And I feel like I'm taking longer and doing tasks, because I'm heavier. And I mean, 30 pounds is not like extreme, people wouldn't think I'm obese. But to me, I feel like that 30 pounds, takes, you know, drains my energy, I get less than, and I probably want to sleep more. So there's so many reasons. And obviously the most important reason being, you know that it's something that a lot of our fellow will ask us on the day of judgment about, you know, about our health? And if that's a question that I gave you, how would you deal with it? You know, and you will know, we'll be asked, but I don't want to be able to tell my
Lord, I didn't take care of my healthcare. And so being that With that said, I want you guys to have that, what is your desire? Why do you want to do it? Why? Why do you want to manage your time? Why do you want to add this one new thing in your schedule, why? And as soon as you have that, and you know that, then you have to have this desire to commit to take the action daily, you have to have that. I mean, you know, and you guys have to remember that it's the little things that we do on a daily basis, that's going to add up to make the biggest changes in time and shallot, the little things, you know.
I mean, there's just so many example, you know, like, sometimes sometimes I'll see kids doing the most amazing things on a daily basis. And every day, they'll do it, and they don't realize the outcome of this tiny thing that they're doing. But at the end, it'll just reflect on that not on their character about who they become, what their goals can be. And it starts off with the small things, for example, you know, being able to keep the room tidy, being able to take the garbage out, being able to keep their nails clean, taking proper showers folding their clothes, it's a very small actions that happen daily here and there. But over time, it adds up, and it becomes something
phenomenal into not only their character, but who they become.
Okay, so, now you're probably thinking, Okay, sorry, this is great, Michelle, but how is this going to help us? A lot of people think there's no such thing as time management, they think there's no such thing. And they think,
yeah, nursing, nursing doesn't help that like this day helps a little bit, but beginning just slowing down, but that not that much hunger. So, with that being said, Here, back to lecture going, how does it help us time management allows us to improve on areas we need to work on daily. If we do not manage our time, then we are in chaos. We do not we're not productive and we do not get things done. Okay, so let's look at an example of a child. Okay, say we have a child, and that child is weak in a certain area of
I'm going to give him a map, let's say that we can multiplication, right? If every day, he or she were to spend just 15 minutes a day, or 20 minutes a day, and learning that multiplication table within a month, not only will they have mastered it, but they'll be able to work problems out so much faster. Mashallah. Right? So, but it's 15 minutes each day. Now, let's use that again, coming back to what if we did that same thing with cron, Mashallah, an extra 15 minutes every day, we are sisters sat there, and memorize a student. And maybe sometimes it'll take us 30 minutes, maybe it'll take us maybe some of us, it'll take us a month to memorize a soda. But you notice 15 minutes in
that whole day is not a lot of time. It's not an enormous amount of time. So 15 minutes being a small amount of time, and you add it up over time, it's a big difference. It's a big difference. And so coming back going, that's how it's gonna help you it's small amounts of time, that and you do things by little amounts of time, never put yourself in full force to say, Okay, I'm gonna take one hour, a week, cosmetic one hour every day, what, and you overwhelm yourself that you quit.
If a task you want to accomplish, and it's already difficult for you taking a small dosages, start off swap, and this is very, very important in time management. Now, you're coming back and going, Okay. I like that idea. I think it's great, but how do I change my thinking? How do I change my thinking?
Well, while changing our thinking is a heavy, heavy task. It is it's very heavy, sometimes to go from negative to positive, you know, and it seems like it's almost almost
possible. And I don't know about you guys, but I know that you know, growing up in the West being here, there was you know, and watching the movies and you know, going going to public schools, there's a lot of, I like to say garbage that goes into your brain.
And that's true, a lot of garbage, you get to say a lot of things that you wish you never experienced or saw, and that you are more clean at the time. And the sense of I'm saying the language that people use there, the no hayah, no modesty, you know, so many things. But with that being said, you know, one of the biggest things I've seen with a lot of Muslims, that Mashallah you know, whether they're born Muslims or reverse once they come, and they, you know, get it from Allah alone, they are on the right path, and they want to get better. One of the things I've noticed a lot of people have a difficulty with, is changing their language. So they're excited, they want to be
good Muslims, they want to be righteous, they want to be good. But the moment they get angry, you will see the foul language coming out of their mouth, you will see them using the language that
we shouldn't be using ever, ever, ever. But you will see, and I say it's like their true colors all of a sudden come back out. No. And those cars, unfortunately, came in through all of the stuff that happened in life, you know, and so there's so much things that they went through, but they got so angry, that they almost don't know how to react, they go back to that. And so, is it hard to change that? Yeah, it is. I'm not going to tell you it's going to be easy. You know, there's so many things we have to change, obviously. But, but the biggest hurdle for each one of you is going to be if you want to change in any way in anything, whether that's saying, okay, you know, I guess I want to lose
weight, I want to wear a job or change my language, whatever is your thoughts, your thought and your way of thinking. So you need to replace you need to replace your way of thinking with a new set of think, a new way of thinking. And I'll tell you as a parent, how I deal with this because I homeschool, Mashallah, my three kids and my nephew while I have my baby. And some days, it is so difficult to homeschool all of them. Because, you know, I'll be like, can you please do this? Can you please do this? Can you? By the fifth time I please go and do this? My voice just escalates because I'm just like, okay, seven, four times, what's wrong with the kids? Okay, not understand.
But I really, really, really hate yelling. I hate yelling because the Prophet salallahu alaihe salam said that, when we yell, obviously, when we scream, the angel will leave the room. And I always think about that I think of that Hadees when I react that when I say Oh, I can't believe the angels. They get very angry at myself. And I said, I can't believe I did that. And I'm having the luck over time. Over time. You know, I changed radically because every day I asked a lot during every salon, I noticed when I make my mistake, and I asked I stopped for a while and then I see out to be helped me. You know, I will continuously make Guatemala. And then also what else can I do? What else can I
do? So this morning, I was on amazon.com. And I was looking for another parenting book. I'm always looking at different parenting books. And no matter how much I learned, I feel like there's always an area I'm stuck and I need to learn. So I found this book called scream free parenting. I love it.
So I you know, it's, it comes back to it saying, okay, here's my problem. My problem is that there's times where I yell, or I scream. And it's not that it gets beyond, you know, extremely bad. But to me, it is horrible. Just knowing that the angels are going to leave the room, my voice should never escalate. And so coming to that I noticed my problems. So once I know my problems, I'm like, how do I change my problem? How do I replace it? So my thing was looking for a book, a CD, something that helps me and so I found the book. So I ordered the book, it comes back now I read that book, and that's going to help me replace my old way of thinking, this is how we were raised. If you don't do
something you yell or this is what they do on television when their kids don't listen to y'all or this is how they did in the past. Instead of having that thinking and that old way that old style now I'm going to have inshallah new thoughts and new information in my head about how I want to be which is scream three. I would like to be a scream free parenting and I was telling my husband, we're going to have a scream free house. It's gonna be great. Have Alhambra with me, my husband, we don't swim much I wouldn't challenge there's no fighting back that I'm just a kid. Sometimes it escalates because you keep asking them over and over and over and they're just looking at you and
continue with. Like, he doesn't exist.
So this is this is what I'm trying to say. So if you are having a hard time changing your thinking, then you need to find some way some books, some kind of information on what it is you need to change about your thinking and you
need to change it, you need to listen to that, and you to be able to apply it in your life is that making sense was Joe Watson, he said, do the thing and you shall have the power, do the thing, and you shall have the power. That means that whatever is you want to do, you gotta do it, you gotta just get up and do it. As hard as it is as difficult as you must do it. And I say this with, I'm gonna give you a different example. Like I said, because I want to relate to the differences. There's a different, you know, mothers of different people with different
I'd like to say not trials with different, you know, tasks that they go through on a daily basis. Okay. One of the hardest things for me as a mother right now that I'm going through is nursing. It is one of the hardest things for some woman Mashallah easy, but it is a test for me, it really is. And that's why I said, if I can make it to a year, I get so excited, Mashallah, it's really difficult because it's constant. I'm always with the baby martial law. And it's always, you know, she's always near me, and she's always on me. And I feel like as soon as I pulled out, all I'm doing is running, making lunch or breakfast and cleaning dishes, back, she's made her back bonding. So I
feel like I really don't get anything done. Except, you know, the baby and the kids, if I'm lucky. And while I'm nursing, I'm obviously teaching. But I just feel like I'm so confined. And it's so hard. And because he's always, you know, and she does not fall. So I'm always having to pump after I've done nurse after pump and give it to her in the bottle too, because she doesn't get full. And so I'm like, Mashallah, this is a more work than I ever expected.
it's easy to look at the mandala formula and say, This is what I could give you. It's not that difficult you for two scoops. And from Bala water is shake it up, and voila, you'll be four for three hours. And I'm free. Very easy, am I right? Very easy. But I keep thinking, if that was the way a lot, someone thought I wanted it, but he would not have kept telling us that we need to obviously nurse our babies. And obviously, nursing is a natural way and you know, they don't inshallah they don't get ear infections, all these other things, problems that come with models, but babies. And so coming back to that I push myself every morning, as hard as it is to pump. And to do
this, I push myself, I said on the show, I'm gonna do it, and I get up and I do it. It's do the thing, and you shall have the power. By the end of the day, I'm extremely happy. And I count like Mashallah, this week is gonna be 21 weeks, I've been nursing, I get so excited about every week that goes by. But if I didn't do it, and I just sat there in the back of my mind and said, You know, this is difficult is taking so much of my time. And I want to give up what you believe me, believe me more than anyone else, I want it to give up so many times, I've cried because it was it was pain. And then obviously just the publishing alone is an annoying feeling electric, you know, it's like
you're getting electrocuted. And I have to go through this every three hours wake up in the middle of the night for it.
I could, you know, it's easy to give up. And it's hard to stick with it. But this quote comes back to saying that, in order for us to succeed is we have to do that activity every day. You have to do it every day to be able to change the way you're thinking. And the more I do it, the more I love the idea of nursing and the more I love, like what it represents. And the more I love being closer not only to my baby, but to be obedient to Allah, but I'm obeying My Lord, because this is something you expect from me, you know, but it's something that you have to do it. And you know, I have to start off small, I didn't just start off pumping them. I just started off nursing slowly, right? And did a
little bit until I got used to admit slowly by slowly, I would, you know, pop and add to it. And that's because my doctor said she's not gaining enough weight. And if you don't do it, and you need to do your formula, and I was like, Oh, I don't want to do for me, I'll just do it sometimes. So when I'm doing this, I keep thinking and I always say this is for you. Yeah, I've been doing this for years. And how many of you guys know that Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu sallam, when he had mentioned the three gentlemen that they had basically gotten stuck in a cave. And then in order for that, you know, there's a rock back into the boulder that closed the cave door and each one of them
like set something up, I did this for you and opened up a little bit more and a little bit more blue until they can get out and so the way I think of like nursing and pumping is I think inshallah Allah if that time comes in the gala v. Look, I can't be you know, you please help me you know, like, it's the sacrifice that I'm doing this test and that inshallah hopefully one day you never know when that situation comes when inshallah this could be that deed that not only shala You know, it could be the deed that gets into Jenna but also the deed that helps you in your time of need in your trial. So I want you guys to think of that when you're doing something for the sake of a loss.
The power of Allah, which should be our whole life, our whole life should be for the sake of Allah azza wa jal, when you're doing it for him, then you have to remember, you know, which attitude with a lot of Allah be happy with. And how would Allah azza wa jal extract it from us? And so, if a lot of Allah was right in front of you, would you be how would you be behaving? would you do it? Would you you know, and if you could see your reward, would you do it? So if you could see that I lost one talk with you so happy for you. Because for example, you know, you want a job and that you are obeying Him and you become an OB and, and that maybe that's the deed that gets you into Jana and
Sharla. would you do it?
Most of us will say in a in a heartbeat. Yes. But just because we can't see doesn't mean can't imagine. And we can't put that in our heart. So when we change our thinking, and we change our attitude, we have those, those are the thoughts that should be in our mind, constantly positive thoughts and positive attitude of why we're gonna do what we're gonna do inshallah.
Alright, so now you have, you know, the strong reminder. And that reminder, if you want to write it down, write it down, post it everywhere. I mean, I'll tell you, I have like post notepads and posts everywhere in my house, you know, I want to praise don't criticize, because it's so easy for us to criticize. Why did you do this wrong? or Why did you do and I have these little, you know, post fellas praise or criticize, you know, and I have another one that's like, I'm trying to get together right now. And it's basically like,
watch what you say, watch what you say, doesn't matter. We don't realize it. But we really need to watch what we say there was a shift. I forgot his name. And I was listening to him. While I was pumping milk relative it was there was a shift. And he said something really wonderful. He said, You know, my dear sisters and brothers, because you guys go out there. And you say,
my heart bleeds for Palestine, my heart. You know, I cry when I see that orphans in Afghanistan and and Bosnia and Chechnya, and the Muslim suffering so much, it hurts me so much. And he said, You say this with your tongue. And it's great and the oma should feel this way. Yet, your sister's here next to you, your brother's here next to your neighbors, your parents, your family, yet, you don't care about those Muslims, not treat them, right, you backbite you slammed, you put them down, you don't give them their rights. But yet your heart feels all the sadness for these muscles around the world who you don't even know. You don't even know if they're good Muslim, bad Muslim. You have most of
them. But yet, we're the ones that are close to you that you could help and you could make it your heart doesn't feel like they belong.
I said upon Allah He saw, right? He saw right? Where are we really he said you need to fix within the closeness needs to get fixed first, and then we need to expand which is so true, which is so true. We need to start within and then expand out. So that means sisters, we need to start in our own homes. It should be our husbands are pleased with us, our children that are happy with at our parents and then slowly expand to our siblings and our families and continuously grow from there. We shouldn't be worried about not to say we should not be worried about sisters and brothers all over the world we should always worry and care about. But here we are, we're you know, taking care of an
orphan, let's just say in Afghanistan or Pakistan or Bosnia. But yet our own children don't get that same attention. Does that make sense? This is so important sisters, this is so important. Because we tend to do this we tend to give ourselves, our whole selves to everything else except where it counts the most. And we need to come back to that inshallah we have to come back to that.
Alright, so let's go to the next point. What kind of attitude is very important for time management? For time management, in order for you to get things done? The first thing you need to do obviously is change your thinking, right? And your thinking should be how do I get results inshallah, how do I get results?
Your attitude should be and please write this down. Your attitude should be result thinking or intent. You want to see results. So for example, like I said, six months if you want to lose weight, you should say okay, six month guidelines 30 pounds divided 30 into six. That's five pounds a month correct?
Yep, five pounds a month you can do.
So you sit there and you write your results. What do you want to memorize cron? How many if you want to memorize like right now? I mean, that's what I'm doing with my own children like all of them Mashallah, Mashallah they want to memorize a cron so we go through it and I look at how many is do you learn a day? When will you be done with entire Khan learning with a ruler? And then after that, how many hours will you be doing with your teacher and to look at how long it'll take them to actually memorize it inshallah. So you want to do that you want to have a results oriented, whatever you're doing that should be result oriented. They should be deadlines, and you should
Be able to look at it that way. Okay? So I'm going to give an example of obviously someone who changed their way of thinking,
Okay, I'm gonna give you an example. This is off the wall. Obviously, they're not Muslim. But I want you to listen to this because sometimes we don't get all the different examples from non Muslims. We're not really aware of them. Okay, so Henry Ford, Henry Ford is obviously the guy who made Ford, a car company. He was very results oriented. He was not very intelligent, as well as far as education, engineering and all that. But what he knew was he wanted to make art. And he knew that he wanted to do it at a fastest rate before everyone else. So what do you do you devise a plan, he made a plan. And he's that was his engineers with everyone he made. And he said, Look, we have an
assembly line, we could do this. Right? And we could, he asked us engineers, and he asked everybody else, look at how can this be done? This is what I want to do it, how can it be done, and everyone got together and they gave their ideas. And there was like a mastermind, basically, they sat down, they give all their information. And after that, they put together the products work, that they were able to make a car in 98 minutes, 98 minutes are able to make a car. Because Henry Ford had a vision, he had a vision. And he also wanted results. He was results oriented, he had a vision, right. So he knew what his vision was. And so he got together the people that could help him achieve
that vision. Because he knew that there was results that they could achieve with that vision. And if he wanted to do more than everyone else in that industry, he knew that he had to think different than everybody else. So he actually was able to change his thinking. That's what he was able to exemplify extraordinary. And you could see, that's how his cars became so popular, Mashallah. And, of course, nothing of this could have happened without a loss of a bullet and a laser, you're giving him that ability. But coming back to your situation.
You need to have that vision, each other vision, and then you need to be results oriented, and say, What is the results that I'm going to get, whether that's getting an A in a certain class, whether that's getting a raise in a job, whether that's getting your, you know, the Sisters of Senate to be come one of the best institutions out there for free classes for sisters, whatever your vision is, you have the vision, and now you have to think, how can I make this happen?
How can I make this happen? And something I'm going to tell everyone that we tend to forget to do because we sisters, Mashallah we're always in a rush forward in a hurry, we always want to get things,
you know, done quickly, we need to be patient.
In time management, and in result and trying to achieve our results, we need patience, lots of patience, lots of patience. So, you know, you got to really pay attention to that, and you've got to really focus on that. Okay, so now we're going to the next point, is that positive versus negative thinking? Okay? Well, we need to do obviously, like I said, was we need to change from being negative to positive, and always constantly have to think in that positive way we know as Muslims, the Prophet sallallahu wasallam said, that we, no matter what our situation is, we're supposed to set hamdulillah hamdulillah if something bad happens to us, we sell hamdulillah if something good
happens to us we sell hamdulillah doesn't matter what it is. And that is the beauty of being a Muslim, that will always present a lot because we know that there is absolutely wisdom and intelligence behind everything that happens to us. If certain a certain didn't happen, something did not happen for a certain reason. There's a reason and Alan knows best and we should praise Him, and thank him and inshallah maybe one day to unfold and we'll be able to see it, or maybe it will not, whatever the reason is, Allah Allah knows best. And so we should always say, and that's really how we can become positive versus negative. If we are people who follow the Sunnah of the Prophet
sallallahu, ala saw that we would always be thinking of our cup as half full instead of half empty, would always be the type of people who did not complain. And I know, sir, that is human nature to do that. And we were raised in a society where everyone complains, and they all
like to compare themselves with everybody else. It's just becoming like, that's exactly what, you know, society selling to us. And we kind of, and they're always looking at what's the worst possible outcome, you know, where we need to do is
let that go. And we need to think about it as Okay, we have very limited knowledge of our lives of everything that's happened to us because Allah subhanaw taala knows everything. And we need to know that no matter what happens, our behavior and our data is going to reflect on how we behave when that moment when something happens to us. So we need to remember that and that's how really we're gonna continue with having that positive mindset. Okay, when it is time to complain, we need to say we don't have nothing to complain about, you know, and the better
way to do this is right now. And a lot of sisters might hate me for this. But you need to let go of all the negative sisters and friends that you have out there. You need to let go of the people who are negative in your life if you want to be positive, because negativity breeds negativity, it's it's there. And if you do not let go of negativity, you will, you know, those friends will bring you down like there is no tomorrow. And I tell you, I have to let go of a lot of friends. I don't think I have much luck. I'm gonna love the law and your family, you keep it very limited with your family. You keep it very limited in the sense of when you call your family, you say Salaam Alaikum. How are
you? If they need something, be there for them? Help them. Yeah, that's a true believer. But the moment the backbiting starts, the moment the slandering starts the moment, you know, as a complaint, oh my god, oh my god. It's like, Oh, I hear my baby. There she is. And your baby probably will be crying. And if you don't hear your baby, okay? You just wake her up and she will cry.
I'm just kidding. But no, if you don't, obviously, you can say You know, I've got to go take a shower, and then go to the bathroom, take a shower. But you know, don't lie to anyone do what you're gonna say. Or if you need to cook, I gotta go and make that, you know, meal real quick. My husband's coming home. I gotta make an important phone call. I mean, do what you have to do. It doesn't have to be a lie. But have you know, and maybe you can have you done something ready before you get on the phone? If you know that that conversation might lead to something bad, have something ready, have an excuse ready for you? And I'll tell you, you know, people do this to me and the census.
People don't do this to me. Yeah, they do to my
I will mention who it is because I don't want to get to backbiting not that you guys know him. But anyways, on occasion, I'll call someone. And as soon as I start telling them about, you know, the beauty of his son, like, are you giving me a hug?
And I'm like, No, this is not good.
And they're like, Oh, I think I'm getting another, I think.
And so they literally will get off the phone right there because they don't want to hear the HUD one. So we're the opposite. We don't want to hear the backbiting. We don't want to hear the slander. We don't want to hear the negativity. So we'll we'll leave it on a good note. So this way, when we hang up that phone, we're not depressed, we're not sad, we're not negative, and we're not backbiting you move it off, or you control yourself and you put it on a, you keep it off on a good note. That makes sense. And I want you to please, if you've got questions, please save it till the end. All right. So three ways that you can accomplish your attitude change, right? First, obviously, you must
recognize the importance of attitude, that attitude is very important. Whether you want to believe it or not. attitude is everything. Two people can come in with the same qualifications, the same, like they both have a bachelor's degree, they both were he jobs, they both were a buyers, Mashallah they both have three kids, they can come with the same qualifications, and they're both applying for the same job. However, what is going to happen is during that interview, what is so vital is their interview, the interviewer is going to say, who gets hired and who doesn't. The person who's got the positive attitude, that person can have a better chance of being hired versus a candidate with a
negative attitude. So something as small as the attitude, I can only give us a great job, but a great college entrance, well, you know, great friends, it can give us a great husband, Ray children, it is attitude, that's going to determine if it's great or not. If you have a negative attitude, everything around us will be negative. And if you have a positive attitude, inshallah, it's going to go positive, because we're going to make a positive inshallah, that's just gonna, it's just gonna be how it is, we're not gonna, we're gonna not accept that negative. And in order to change, we must know that changing can cause you know, different experience of feelings such as anger, sadness,
resistance, a lot of people are gonna resist, as well as we can have relief, hope and excitement.
And so when you know that you can control your attitude, we all know that we can control our attitude, but what what Can't we control system, we cannot control our situation. We cannot control what's going to come towards us. But, you know, a mentor of mine said, Zora, and he said this a long time ago, he says, or the situation of the situation, how you deal with it is up to you. How you deal with is up to you. And the best example he gave me to be on this was he was, and this this was a mentor of mine. I had gone to, like a class of his, and he's, he was a Mormon. And he was in his 50s. And he had bought, you know, Mormons are very rich, as you know, they like money. Holla we work
hard for it. And he had bought this brand new, like, expensive car like $80,000 car, brand new, right? And he was all excited about it. And you had this car and his son had this truck and this old truck, and they had gone to church. It was Sunday morning. They've gone to church, and they're coming from church and his son
did not see his father's car or something. And basically, he jammed, he was going back and he jammed the truck into that brand new car. It was like not even one or two day old car. And it was like $1,000 car. And so the father, like, when his son realized what he had done, he stopped the car. And he's like, Oh, my God, His face is reading doesn't know what to do. And he's looking at his father. And his father looks at him and said, Pamela, this is the moment like, really, that's a test for us, Muslims more than anyone else. He looks at him and he looks at the car. And he said, it's just a car. It's just a car. Are you okay?
Everyone else is okay. And right there. His son was just astonished at how his father react its armor. And I sat down, I said, how would we react that would be law, I wouldn't react and look at his, you know, cyber Look at his patients. And this is how I'm reliever is supposed to react. And so when it comes back down to that, it was all his attitude. It was all this man's attitude that allowed him to react that way. And this is what the practice of law ism tells us all the time. But I feel like due to low eemaan, due to low demand, our reaction becomes different. The stronger our immodest, the better our reaction is. And you can tell by the test that the scholars go through the
test that the scholars go through, and the way they react to it is so different than the test the normal average person goes through, they can go through similar tests, but one of them that has a greater eemaan will have a whole different attitude versus the one with that weaker emaan, which means it's so important for us to increase our demand. If we want to have that positive attitude, we need to also increase our human and shut out to make it happen. Second, by changing our attitudes and be prepared for the worst case scenario, we're all going to be equipped to handle any kind of situation that comes up with Sharla. And I mean, worst case scenario be be prepared sisters, I would
have been law, whether it I would love for us to, you know, last well for us to get raped, murdered, our kids get murdered anything, anything. I mean, I'm saying worst case, we have to be prepared for it and know that if it comes our way Allah knows, and allows aware of it. And there's a reason and we need to be patient. Should we go seeking it? No, overnight? No, no, don't go crazy now. But I'm saying be prepared for that. And makes us able to handle it over the last should that time comes.
So when we're able to focus on the positive of the situation, we're going to have the energy and the motivation to do what we need to do at that apparent time. And if we're negative in that situation hits us, then we're going to be bogged down, we're going to be paralyzed. And we're not going to be able to do anything. And I've seen this in so many situations, I've seen situations where sisters did not expect, for example, to get divorced. It happens. I mean, nobody wants it. But like I said, you always have to be prepared for the worst case scenario. And they didn't expect it. And you know, the news, cops don't like their husbands, and that's it, I'm done. I want to get out. And all of a
sudden, they hit depression. They hit depression so big, that if they it's like almost as if they've been paralyzed, and they cannot do anything else.
It's almost as if they're paralyzed. And it takes so long for them to get out of that mental attitude. And some sisters don't get out of it for years. For years, I know a sister who's got two kids, and she's still tormented by that. And unlike sister, it's been five years. I know, it's hard, but we got to move forward and not backward. And so by being prepared for the worst case scenario, and thinking of it at time, and think should this happen, then you know, it's a lost world, and I have to handle it, and I've got to be patient, that inshallah should that happen and I pray doesn't, you'll have much more stamina to deal with it.
And also, when we have a positive attitude, that's what our children are going to see. And that's what they're gonna learn from. The third thing we need to do is we're constantly to monitor correct our attitudes constantly sisters constantly, it's not going to be a one day thing. It's not going to be today, you know, we're better tomorrow. We're okay. We don't need to change. No, we're constantly we change constantly, things come at us different kinds of trials and tribulations. So the best way to constantly monitor your attitude is,
again, strengthen your mom. For me, it's listening to lectures. You know, when I'm nursing my daughter, or when I'm pumping, I'm actually listening to a lecture every single time. I tried to listen to it. When I'm not teaching my kids, especially in the middle of the night or early in the morning. I try to listen to lectures, and when I'm listening to those lectures, it's like any mon booster for me, if any mon booster and I think about my attitude, I think about myself, I mean this recently I was listening to one about the tongue thins of the tongue, and somehow a lie. So my goodness, I feel like I cannot believe some of the stuff that she was saying. And I was like, Yeah,
don't be like this is I didn't even think this to be a sin. I believe
This is to be a Senate, like it never even crossed my mind that we live in LA. And that's why it is so important to constantly listen and learn from those who know more than us to shift and, you know, and learn from them. And then to think, how can I apply it in my life? How can I play? So if you're not, and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi salam said, if your today is not better than your yesterday, then you're basically a loser. We're in great loss, if our today is not better than our yesterday. So every day that goes by, you have to ask yourself, What am I going to do different today? That is going to be different from yesterday? What am I going to do today that will be different than
yesterday? Well, you will, I listened to another lecture, I have another class, well, what will I do different today to make myself better? What? And whatever it is that you take in and Chicago affect you.
So constantly, like I said, you need to work on it. And they need to think about what you said and what you did, and how you can do different with a good attitude. So let's just say, you know, I wouldn't be like you were talking to someone, and you they started backbiting. And you just said, Look, sister, you know, let's not get into that. Because that's backbiting and it's not good for either one of us. I've done that many times. I've done that many times with people. And, you know, some people didn't want to talk to me afterward. And but my true friends or true family or two people that I spoke to, they're like, you're right, yeah, let's let this topic go. And we'll just go
to and we'll both make bla for the person that, you know, they just, I mean, there's like a small thing that just can't, we're both make draw for that person. And I make broth for ourselves and ask Allah to forgive us. But just that moment, you just nipped it in the bud right there you stop it, you know, and if people don't want to hear from you, and again, please, please just there's one thing I'm gonna highlight him.
Say, smile, Be kind, be compassionate,
attitude and be mean and rude. Hey, you're back, buddy. Let's start with that. Let's not do that way, because that might not help them. We're gonna do it. You know, with the with really with hikma, you know, we're gonna do with Hickman and so if we do it like that, and shell out Allah, it's going to affect them. And if they're your true family and friends and sisters, then inshallah they also would love to be stopped. And they also would love to be on the same path and they're not going to be affected or feel any different from you, they're actually loving more inshallah.
You know, the thing you know, it didn't take, they didn't go to Rome in a day, right? Just remember, your attitude is not going to change overnight, either. It's going to be cost a little efforts, and over time, and shallow, you'll be a whole new person, Shama.
One thing that kind of triggered, and I just want to touch on the volley quick was the sisters that I want to think positive things about people, whenever I see someone doing something wrong, I tend to think negative about them, forget the chef or something very good here, you know, you would think something like coming in there,
we tend to what we tend to do is, you know, we jumped into criticizing others, and we jumped to think of the worst of them. And we should, we should think about them, because we have to remember that we too, once are not where we are right now we to once we're in a different situation, and we have to be patient for those people. So if there's a sister who is not wearing hijab, we can't sit her and put her down and think that I wouldn't be law, she's the worst, you know, or if it's a person who's not paying us a lot, instead, we should be making block for them and helping them and guiding them, and be patient with them, instead of jumping to, you know, criticize them and you
know, make an effort to put them down and make ourselves feel better. Because when we when we really do that what we're doing is we tend to, we're insecure, and we're making ourselves feel better. It's an insecurity issue we have. So definitely, definitely and same thing with backbiting we backbite a lot it's an insecurity issue we have and we really believe in ourselves and we are confident about who we are and all that then we will know that we don't need to write about anybody else. Because upon a lower content with who we are, and we're very happy and without hamdulillah so when we get to that level, then we no longer need to back by anybody else because we're happy for everybody else.
Does that make sense? This is very important inshallah. inshallah. Should I have some time inshallah, I definitely want to give a class on self esteem, which will help really inshallah, up over the backbiting I think which is so important for sisters inshallah. inshallah. All right.
So we're going to, obviously, the second level of procrastination, we're gonna go into procrastination. The reason why we really don't change a lot of us is because we procrastinate to do it. we procrastinate. We say, you know, let's go to the definition. What is procrastination? procrastination is when we're avoiding to doing something that needs to get done. And we usually procrastinate when we put things off that we feel like we don't want to focus on right now. We want to do the fun stuff. Now we want to do the more fun stuff and if it seems hard, we're procrastinating like this
To have that she wants to learn Arabic or Arabic is a difficult language Mashallah, especially if it's not your first language. So, you know, we're like, okay, shall I'm gonna do it, but you keep putting it off because of the level of difficulty it has to, or if someone knows they need to lose, you know, 50 pounds, they know they want to lose, and it just seems like so much weight, you know, and so we're procrastinating. And so, you know, usually when you do it, you feel like, you do so much in a day that you don't have time, but what you're actually doing is you're investing your time in the wrong tasks. And I'm going to list some of the reasons why you procrastinate, chalon, you can
write this down, because this might help you. And it might help you.
Focus In short, but not do this. And we'll talk about how we can get out of this.
One of the reasons you procrastinate is just because you don't understand the difference between something urgent to do and something important. So you tend to do the urgent tasks, which really aren't that important. That was urgent I have to do that happened. And but they're really not that important. Another one is, you're overwhelmed by the task that is so big, that's why you don't even start. So you know, like the sister had said, she wants to learn Arabic and for next Ramadan. Okay, so learning Arabic language, I mean, to really master it just said word the word before Ramadan, six months, and I don't know what level you're at, or anything, so I'm just gonna just not, you know,
say anything about you, but I'm gonna put it as a person who let's just say they don't know any Arabic, it's brand new to them, or their first level, and they want to learn it really well, by six months. That's a pretty hard task. Unless you're doing it full time, it's gonna be really almost very difficult unless you're a genius Mashallah different. So the tasks being so big is a reason or someone think I want to memorize a con one year and they didn't even learn to read it yet. You see, like, it's something so big, that it's almost impossible. So you have to come back and or someone think I want to lose 50 pounds in one month, which people do say
it you, you kind of have to come back and say, Okay, how can we do it, and we're gonna go through how we can do that in a minute. But I just want you to know, these are the reasons why people procrastinate.
Number three, is there's no interest, there's no interest and for you, you said you say okay, I want to lose weight, but you're really not interested. And so you're not going to do it. If you're really not interested. I mean, you you want to do it by you really love too, too much to do. Number four is fear of failure, you think you're not gonna succeed at doing it, so you don't even start it, you think you're gonna fail anyways, you're gonna give up you're not gonna do it. So why even start, forget it.
By the way, if any of you have read my book, nine steps to achieve your destiny, chapter four in my book is called fail your way to success. Chapter Four, fail your way to success. I'm a big believer in failing to succeed, you must fail and then down until you succeed inshallah. And that's okay. That's, that's my jacket. All right, number five, you don't have good organizational skills. And this is more for the brothers. But really sisters is a lot of sisters out there who do not have good organizational skills. So you're not able to, you know, plan things accordingly. And I get it throws you off, so you don't get the important stuff done. Number six, your perfectionist, many people
think, and we all know only Allah is perfect. So we just try to, you know, think we're perfectionist, and we try to do things over Of course, it's never gonna be perfect anyways. And because
you're perfectionist, you feel like, okay, I don't have the right skills or the resources to do perfectly now. So I'm not gonna do it at all, you know? So let's just say someone wants to.
Someone wants to open up a school, and there's a well, I wasn't a teacher, or I wasn't this or that. So I can't open up a school, you know, or what's this or something, you know, I can't homeschool. I never thought I only graduated high school. And I'm like, Pamela, you know, don't worry about that stuff. If you want to do it, all the other stuff will come together, the resources will find its way. So it makes people put themselves off. And the next reason is personal problems. There's personal problems. And if somebody has personal problems or life, it'd be preoccupied with that. So let's just say you know, you're going through a fitna or something happened in your life. And so
because of that fitna or because of that, you know, some sister got you angry, and you've got this big commotion going on now, because of that, you get to put everything else on the backburner. and due to that, you know, you're not able to achieve your success. And lastly, is because of low self esteem. Many people have negative beliefs about certain tasks and about themselves. And due to those negative beliefs and certain types of low self esteem, they're not able to climb that ladder and make it happen. And, and I know the same it's a fact Apollo when, you know,
sisters say you know, oh, you know
I can't run a business from home, I can't do this. I can't I mean that all the time, all I hear is I can't, I can't, I can't and I'm like, Mashallah. You could you could you could, I met a woman to Panama, who was her story is amazing. It's upon Allah and glory be to LA for it was just an amazing story. But this woman was living on the street, she had two kids, she didn't have a home, she was living on the streets, and she was able to get a car somehow. And, I mean, she was the author of the house and living in her car, but pretty soon she's gonna be living on the streets, because they were going to take her car back from her. And they were going to, you know, repossess the car because she
was a pain to payment. And so she was her and her two kids, she has no insurance, she has no food stamps, nothing. This is America, okay? And she's living like that. And she's just like, you know, how am I going to get my life together? What am I going to do? And so Pamela, she's a, she's thinking of this, she thinks to go to the library. She goes to the library, and she goes and checks out a self help book. And so she read that, and it inspires her. So then you should go and check that a couple more self help books. And she does this. She's just sitting in the library with her kids for hours, reading self help books. And then she starts reading books about business and money.
And just reading and this is a lady who did not even graduate high school. Ladies, mind you living in her car, knowing that her car can't be repossessed, she's got no money. She's got two kids. And what is she doing, she's trying to find a plan to get out of worship.
And by doing this, she was able to take some actions. By reading these books and doing some of the steps and going out there, she was able to do some actions within one year of her life. One year, she made $1.3 million.
So here is a situation where you're at the bottom of the bottom, the bottom of the tips, no family, nobody's gonna help you. And Subhanallah because of the steps you take, and a lot of oncology analyzers, I'll give it to you.
Because what your intentions are what you do.
But my question is, how many of us will do that at that point in our lives, we think we hit rock bottom, there's no way out.
She started a business, she started a business and she went out there and got people to invest in her. And, you know, she just got really inspired. And she got really inspired and motivated. And she got others to believe in her and Cipolla got into business. And that's it. It's an amazing story. I forgot her name actually looking back up because I met her at a conference because a business and a business conference. And when she told her story, everyone had tears in their eyes. And she was like, if I can do you guys can do it. I was like, it's true. So with that being said, I want you guys to come back. And I want you to, if you have your paper and pencils, please write down for me.
What are five things that you are procrastinating on right now? Right now? What are those things that you're progressing? That if you don't change your habits, or procrastination, it's going to affect your future? What are those five things are stopping you from getting organized? And getting ahead? What are those five things? How do we get over procrastination? So you got your lesson? I need to know how do we get over this? We how do we, before you can get over it, you first must acknowledge that you are procrastinating, you must acknowledge that a lot of people don't even think they're procrastinating. And that this is a habit that you have a need to get rid of in order to
succeed. If you do not get rid of it, you will not see that flat flat out straight with that. And most people are in denial. They're so in denial. They feel like they're not procrastinate. They're just working on too many other products. They're giving themselves a sorry, I ran out of excuses. They're giving themselves excuses. And
you can't even use other excuses. You just have to say okay, I'm procrastinating. No, it's flat. That's it. That's the first step. Second thing you have to do is you have to not only acknowledge a problem, but you have to be able to figure out that this is something you want to do that you want to give it up. And if you have something that's holding you back, let's just say for example, you know, you have so many things going on and one of the reasons you're procrastinating is actually why don't you guys give me
a couple of people can give me a reason that procrastinating and then actually use it in this next example. What are what is one reason? Like some of you, okay, all right. Let's go with being overwhelmed. Obviously, that's gonna be one of the reasons okay. But if you're overwhelmed, right, if you're overwhelmed, and you don't have the time, you need to learn to delegate. Easy learn to delegate. There's some tasks that I personally hate to do. And I always delegate and if I don't delegate, then the last thing I want to do and so, I know it's important, what do I do, I delegate it
So how do you get a delegate, right?
You got to have, like,
Okay, you got your motivation is a whole separate class.
But let's go back to the here, how we can get into that we'll talk about a little bit of motivation here.
You have to, you have to find time for it, you have to find time, and the best way to find time you're gonna delegate it, or you're going to do it really early. So if you have, you know, let's just say you want to exercise three times a week, and you have no time, right? Well you could do is two things you could if you have children, and your friend has children, you get two or three days a week, can you babysit the kids for about an hour, and you go and you exercise, for example. And then three days a week, another different time, you take care of her kid and let her to complete something. So this way, you are having you delegating it, your children to someone else, so they can
take you to be taken care of, and you're finding time for yourself to exercise here. Does that make you come? And if it's not that, if it's something else, like for example, you know, making a website or making covers, or, you know, for me, one of the things I really
dislike is always being on Facebook, I am not on that, even though I mean, I have a fan page, and I don't read really what anybody else have unless they're on my fan page. And sometimes I'll go in there. But really, the majority of the time, I have other people posting my assistant posts on my Facebook, there's another young lady who's volunteering with me, and she posts and I'll give them material, and they'll just post it on Facebook for me. So I don't even want to get into it. You know, and same thing with my supercharged homeschooling Facebook fan page, you know, it just kind of goes like, I'll have the material ready, and I'll just give it to someone else. And so I don't have
to do it on a daily basis, don't post once in a while, I'll go in, and I'll see if anybody comment or anything. And if I need to comment to you know, try to clarify anything and stuff like that. But really, I mean, they'll usually let me know, on a weekly basis of anything important happens, you know, and it just kind of gives me some free time. Same thing with like, website and other stuff like I have, you know, other people doing those things, I don't want to do it, you know, editing, I hate editing books, I get it got into here, please. So it just depends on what is it that you need. Some things we must do ourselves, obviously, like losing weight.
For example, cooking healthy, let's just say you can't cook healthy, a lot of people don't like to get in the kitchen and cook healthy food, then maybe you should buy healthy. Or maybe you should have someone else could help with foods. And you can do something else for them. Maybe you can watch their kids an hour a day and let them be the cook and let them cook for you. So you can swap. So you learn to see what's your weakness and what someone else's strength and you guys, you know, tend to go back and forth. If you could do that, that's great. It's not for everyone. But I'm saying it could be one way for you to be able to achieve your goals.
And this is very important.
And if you can't delegate the work, and you have to do it, then you need to make a reward system for yourself. So every time you work on something you don't enjoy, and you finish it you take like for example, you take yourself out to dinner. Okay?
That's funny, okay, you take yourself out to dinner or do something. I'll tell you what my reward system for myself is. Cuz obviously, you know, there's no witnesses here. I can't get anyone else to, you know, nurse my baby as much as I'd love to find a way
to eat healthy, right? We're not in a Muslim country, and it's not locatable. So I was thinking, oh, gosh, how am I going to do this? How am I going to keep nursing my babies is so hard. And I kept saying this to myself. In the beginning, I was going through a big trial of nursing. And so what I ended up doing was,
I gave myself and I kept thinking, what rewards Can I give myself? What reward? Can I give myself, I don't want to give food as a reward to myself, because I'm gonna want to eventually lose the fat and I gain more, right? So that's not a really good reward for me. You know, there's nothing really I want to buy, you know, I already have. So what is the reward and so my reward to myself came about lying down. But I said, I'm gonna take my daughter's iPod.
My daughter, who's on the call, listening today hurting all you do is I'm going to take my daughter's iPod and has all these lectures. And every time I nurse, I'm going to listen to a lecture. And that's going to boost my Eman. It's going to make me excited. And I'm going to, you know, it's going to motivate me to nurse because I will be stuck in the middle of a lecture and I will want to go back and look. So I gave that to myself as a reward. That's my reward for nursing. And it's amazing because it does inspire me and they go, I gotta go listen to my lecture and the times I can't cuz I'm teaching. I'm like, I have to teach. You know, I'm
I'm still gonna work to teach you that I think that is just an inspiration to me. So reward yourself, if there is something you have to do, and you cannot delegate, reward yourself with it have, like a reward system, where when you get it done, you do something, you take yourself and your husband out somewhere for the day, you know.
And again, the same thing like we do for our kids, I mean, I have reward system for my kids my kids get, whether it's stickers, or little treasures, or they always there's some kind of reward for them, when they do get, you know, we have student of the math in my house, because I obviously have homeschooling. So whoever does the best with their studies and with their,
you know, therapy and all that then I pick one student, and they get to go and have dessert with me and they, they get to spend three hours with me, literally going out, we have dessert, they get to buy something for a certain amount of money. And we just get to have fun and whatever they want to say to me, they can tell me. And it's funny, because I'm always on them. See, you got three hours with me, do you know how much I charge an hour. And so they get all excited that they get this personal time with me. So that's an a reward for them to work harder and study for them. And so give yourself the heavy reward system Shama
the neat textile, yeah, at some point is Don't you have to say I'm not perfect, only alive, and good enough is good enough to show up with nothing good enough. And it's hard to do that. But you have to, you have to
another way you can do this as you can have a coworker appear, and you can ask them about the task and how they can get it done. Maybe you could coach each other, like, go and exercise together for the sisters, you know, that's what they could do. Or maybe you guys can, you know, one person could cook healthy for one week, and another sister could do for the next week and trade, make extra food and give it to each other, or one night. And another night, you know, this really, really, really helps by having someone else hold you accountable. And you also hold them accountable, and you guys can switch with each other. Another thing you can do, obviously, and one of the most
simplest ways is obviously split up your tasks into smaller to do tasks, you know, don't do it at one time. If it's like for school, if it's a paper, you're going to get what needs to get done, do a little bit every day. So this way, by the end of the deadline, you'll have a done. inshallah, if it's memorizing the entire gist of cron, within so many months, then you need to at least 30 minutes a day or once a day, you need to be working on the show. And this often, you know, it's a small amount, again, like I said, little by little by little it will add up and will give you a lot of energy inshallah. And at the end, you'll be able to complete that task. If you cut it up into
smaller pieces, and you have deadlines, and you look at it and you know, like I said, 20 minutes, 30 minutes, however much you could do in the shuttle.
Okay, let's, uh,
and again, like I said, depends on what you're doing. You know, when I began writing my book, I started writing about 45 minutes every day, that's all I did, I didn't have any other time to write. And so I will take 45 minutes, and I would start writing. And it took me between two to five months to complete each book, and sometimes faster, because I got better at it. But I mean, my kids would be reading it.
And I'm like, I'm in the middle of a thought. And I'm trying to like type up on the typewriter. And so you know, that even that 45 minutes was I was very difficult at times, but that's kind of how I did it. So give yourself no smaller time instead of just saying I need to do it tomorrow yesterday. Give yourself deadlines with smaller amounts, you know, and over time you're going to see that all the little amounts became a huge amount Mashallah. And then within a year you're going to see that you discipline yourself and all it takes is that discipline of doing those little things and that after a while becomes a habit and you start to enjoy accomplishing more inshallah
I think I'm gonna stop here.