Channel: Zohra Sarwari
Did not smell him at all? Emma Linda de la Khurana own
Willis llama donavon Oh my god. In Alhamdulillah Hina muda who wanna stay in one hasta la Himanshu, Justina woman say at the Melina Maja hula hoop alhama de la la, my head milk Allah ha de la, la shadow, la la la la la, la sharika or shadow, Mohammed an ad the hoorah suit,
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, The Most magnificent, all praises due to Allah, Lord of the Universe, we praise Him and we seek His help and his forgiveness, and we seek His protection from the curse Satan, whoever Allah guides will never be misguided. And whoever he allows to be misguided will never be guided. I bear witness that there is no di D worthy of worship, except Allah was one alone and has no partners. And I bear witness that Muhammad is His Servant and Messenger. May the blessings of Allah be upon him, his family, his companions, and the righteous will follow them until the day of judgment.
All right, so last time we stopped,
right before an activity, so I'm going to start from the activity because this is this is part two. Okay, so I want everyone who's got a paper and a pencil and shala, to be able to help me with this. So because activities are important, the more you guys are able to do the activities, the more you're able to reflect and learn from and think about what you're doing and shut up. So that you have actually gotten done, like five accomplishments that you have completed within the last year. It can be big or small, but five things that you've begun, and you've actually completed. This is very important, because a lot of times, people will begin many projects. And this is one of the
problems with many of the sisters is that they'll begin a project, well, they'll never complete it. And so what I want you guys to do is I want you to go back, and I want you to write down.
Five things that you've begun, and you've completed within this last year timeframe. inshallah, I'm going to give you just a couple of minutes to go ahead and do that.
The reason why I made you guys write that down, is it's very, very important is because just like what sister Monique said, sometimes it's really hard for us to realize what our accomplished accomplishments have been within this last year. And I'm going to give you guys a couple examples, I'm going to ask some of you to give me some examples. So this way that in case you can't think of any, your mind will actually have some brainstorming ideas and what it is that you did. And you know what I like to say one of my accomplishments was that I actually pregnant and had a baby. So that was a big accomplishment and went through. It was done. No, but beyond that. What else did you
start, like, you know, we started a project in Ramadan, of learning the meaning of Salah, and there was this project that was started and we wanted to do it in the month of Ramadan. And then what the kid then Cipolla, we completed it. So there's different things that you start and then you have like little deadlines and complete. Others could be you know, started maybe a will exercise program two days a week or something. You started changing the way you eat, you started, you made a decision that you were going to call your mom every day and you stuck with that decision. So anything like that, that you began something and you completed it. And it's a sense of accomplishment,
accomplishment, because you have to actually think about what you're starting and you have to actually put it in your schedule, which is really, really important. And that's why it's something that you know, it fits with time management because a lot of times people do these things but they don't realize that this is part of time management. And if they didn't put in their schedule, it would not get done.
Does anyone want to give us an example of what they've done? Would anyone like to write it down?
Just so they can give some more brainstorming ideas for the sisters. We can't think of any for themselves because I'm sure everyone has done that and started something and completed something
weight loss Graham was shot Mashallah.
And this is the thing is like they started this half of the leg up married half the surprise
So they start something and they actually completed it. Yes, absolutely. You've started in martial you're working on it, but it's the idea of beginning it and holding on to it and it becomes an accomplishment of yours. Okay, so I hope that this gives you guys some ideas
and like I said, it's very important to think of it because you have to add these things to your Mashallah you have to add these things to your schedule it because if it's not in your schedule, obviously you can't do it.
Well, you can see it now.
Okay, so we'll, we'll go on from there shall Allah.
Alright, so now we're going to be discussing something else, we'll be discussing how you spend your time, this is very, very vital, important to understand how you spend your time. And I want you guys to leave me your questions again, till the end, inshallah, just so we can focus and get right to the point. So, so often we spend our time doing things that are wasteful to us, everyone, everyone knows what I'm talking about here, right? Whether that's talking on the phone about useless stuff, watching useless TV shows, or now I should say internet shows,
even talking to friends over coffee, just sitting there reading magazine, searching through the internet, reading emails on Facebook, I mean, all of these, they could be good activities, but they can also be useless if we do it too much. And what happens is sometimes, you know, people get into it. And they because they don't have this time management program, they don't have a schedule, they don't have their time divided. What happens is, they continue to do the same tasks over and over when they think they're being productive. And they're really not. So they're like, oh, maybe somebody emailed me until they go back and check it. Or maybe somebody, you know, posted something
on my Facebook page, and maybe I need to respond to it. And people will do this all the time. And really, that becomes useless. And
we don't realize it, but it really does. It really does. If you spent two, three minutes here, and there, it's one thing but I want the people just wasting hours on this stuff, you know, they'll go on the news, and they'll read everything that happened. And I'm like you could have memorized like three suitors. Mashallah, by that time. So it's not bad. I mean, I read the news, I go to Facebook, I post my stuff. But there's got to give yourself a limited time. Okay. And so now, the next step is very, very important and vital, and for all of you guys to do is I want you guys to start thinking of activity grid. Okay, an activity grid, I want you guys to think
the way I have an activity grid for myself, personally, is probably going to be different than each one of you depends on what you're comfortable with. But I actually have a real schedule, like a real schedule, or 12 months of the year that has like a whole page or half a page, a big eight by 11. And it says the date, and I can put in whatever I want in my schedule. I'm not really an online person to do that kind of stuff. Some people do it online, they have, you know, Outlook and all these other things. But I have like a real schedule. And so this is my activity graph. And so what I do is with my schedule, is I write down everything that I'm going to do on a daily basis. Okay, so you're
gonna, you need to have that same thing shot, if you want to be able to manage your time, you need to have some kind of scheduling device, just like people need an alarm clock to wake up, if they can't wake up. This is your daily planner shala. And I know you've probably heard this and you know, people and you think you don't need it, you need it, you really need it if you want to manage your time because it will keep you in control. Just like the salons five times a day keeps us in control and intact. So if we go off at something, or we change, our behavior gets bad or we yell or something. When we go back to praying, we connect with a lot. We ask a lot for forgiveness, we asked
a lot for patience, we asked a lot for guidance, we ask Allah to help us, you see that those salons are so important to us Muslims to our demand, it's so important that if we don't have those would be law would start to slowly slowly stray to a whole new level. Because we don't pray, we don't ask a lot for that help. But because we have those five times a day, it kind of keeps us on that path of humbler. And a schedule is the same kind of you need a schedule to keep you on the path to manage your time and to make sure that you're not wasting it. So here we go. We have that ticket activity grid, right and you write it down, you're going to write down all of the daily activities that I
want you to what I want you guys to do for yourself, okay, is I want you to take a piece of paper or you can do it online, but basically write down one week's worth of stuff that you've done this last week. So Monday, what was the most important thing you got done Monday? What is all the things you did? So you woke up? You gave your kids a bath, you made breakfast? What else did you do? I want you to write down for a week. And then I want you to reflect on it. I want you to read it and say, you know, what did I get done and by writing all of these daily
To these and you're doing this for a week, you're gonna start noticing that there's patterns of thing that take place daily. And these are things that you never really noticed late before you notice somebody didn't, it didn't bother you. And sometimes you're aware of it, but now you're going to be forced, you're going to be forced to recognize that you must change those habits in order to accomplish more. So this is this is vital to your success sisters, it's vital, you need to not only write it down, but you need to be able to look back and say, Okay, well, it looks like from the schedule that I've done and and if you need to, and you don't remember everything last week, I would
suggest start today or tomorrow, start tomorrow inshallah inshallah, and write it for a week. And then look at look back at and see, when you look at and say, Wow, I spent, like three hours on Facebook, and I spent like, one hour on the phone, and it wasn't productive. And I spent, like, you know, one hour just laying in bed, and I couldn't sleep. And so you, you start to notice the gaps in your time. And you start to notice, what could these four hours be used for, or more depending on, you know,
how much you're doing and what else you're doing your life. So by writing it down, it makes you aware, and it forces you to recognize your habits in order for you to change your habits and to be able to accomplish more inshallah. So and once, like I said, you look back at them begin to discover what times of the day you're at your peak when you're at your best, and you perform the most productive amount of work. And when you're the most tired, and you don't do much, and you're just kind of like not to say lollygagging but just kind of
burned out during it kind of goes during different times of the day. And so this activity good this schedule, and this is going to teach you many things, including obviously, what time of the day you should be working on your most important tasks. So let's just say you wake up at 5pm for God, and Salah is like at 635 to 630. That's your most productive time. So what do you do at during that time? you wake up and you read like 30 minutes up cron. And then what do you do? And then from after 630, you notice 630 to eight is you're still doing good, you're still on a high, you just had a little bit of breakfast after salaah You're doing good. What are you doing at that time. So that's
the time you should be you're doing your most productive stuff, you should be working on whatever is most important to you. Like for me, I you know, it's practicing my crop because I have my crown classes. It's homeschooling my kids, if, you know if I have to answer anything important, if I have to send out any contract that would be during that time, I will try to get the most important stuff out because I'm at my peak, and I'm focused,
even though my kids aren't and they get me out of focus, and the baby starts to cry, and I have to nurse but you know, overall, I'm saying that you're gonna have things come in the way but you have to just look at one are you at your peak? What are you the most active, okay. And the tags are most difficult and time consuming should be done at a time when you have the most energy, or the most energy. So let's just say you want to, you know, lose weight. And you really, really want to lose weight. And you've been thinking, Okay, I'm going to exercise, I'm going to exercise and well, you want to exercise, but you notice you don't do it. If you do it's after eight in the morning. Because
you're too tired. You give yourself all these excuses, you have to do this you have to. So if your peak is at seven o'clock right after budget a lot, then you should put that in right at that time. Right after Roger, I'm going to put my workout clothes on and I'm going to go walk and run or do the treadmill, whatever you have, you just write them do it. Because if you do not do it right, then it will not get done sisters, we know that right? How many of you know that doesn't get done? Right? When you're gonna have the most energy it will not get done. And then you get tired, and you give yourself every excuse, and you say I'm gonna start tomorrow, inshallah, and tomorrow doesn't seem to
be coming for you. So you got to remember, the hardest task of yours has to happen at your peak time. And you have to, and the only way you're going to know when it's your peak time is by writing your daily schedule monitoring and looking at it for a week and seeing what is your best time to show it that's usually sometimes sisters know their best time, but I would advise writing everything down and looking back at it because I think it'll be more beneficial inshallah.
Okay, so now that we have that out of the way, right.
The daily schedule, the activity good is also going to help you realize how much time you're wasting on things that are not helping you, or things that are using your time but are not productive for your career for your family. For your dean, I tell you this because I mean, I love my family, just like all of you guys, and it's nice to talk to our family. But
you know, yeah, year goes by and you don't realize how much time we wasted and we know that it'll allow somebody to tell us by the time I left swears by the time to us.
But what happens is, you know,
I have a beautiful sister Mashallah like my real sister and I only have one sister, but I know when she calls me
Mashallah, it becomes like a 30 minute sometimes 40 minute conversation just about normal things. Okay, what have you been up to? What did you do? You know, just catching up because she lives in California, and I'm in Indiana, and we don't. So what happens is we don't talk on the phone every day, we talk on the phone maybe once every three or four days. And it's really not because I don't love her. But I just feel like okay, what did that conversation really do? Besides How are you? How's everything while Mashallah he started a new class, Wow, that's great. You know, it's, it's not very productive for me. And so unless it's very productive for either one of us, I feel like we're
both wasting time. So we kind of leave, you know, the small talk. And we'll try to do that if we need to really do that. And she needs to like, just relax and what we try to do two at a time when it's not our peak, or it's a time, right, I'm like, okay, the baby's nursing, and the kids are just kind of, you know, doing their things. So then I'll take 30 minutes, and I'm nursing her and I can't do much else, that's what I'll call and I'll talk to her. And she'll be the same way. So you don't want to do that kind of stuff at your peak. Same thing, when I'm talking to my parents, I get to talk to them daily. But I do it when I'm doing stuff that doesn't require so much more attention. So
if I'm pumping milk, or nursing or whatever, that's what I'm talking to my parents as well. You see what I'm saying? It's like, I'm on my relaxed time. And it's not my peak time on focus. And I have to sit down and do stuff. And so you want to realize that you want to realize that when you're doing things, what are you wasting your time on, that's not productive. And you notice something you're doing another you need to start cutting that out. You have to cut that out and change it and change your schedule to what you need to get done. So if you're a personal procrastinator, who said, I need to go and learn how to read the crime. Let's just say I need to go learn how to read the crime. And
I need to get a teacher for 30 minutes a day. But then you go Why don't have any time. I don't mean to actually do this, because looks upon a law. I've got to work I've got this, I've got that and you give yourself all the excuses, Mashallah. But what you don't realize is that you track 30 minutes on the phone every day with a friend or somebody and it's, like useless talk. You can cut up that 30 minutes and focus it on class, you know, or you could connect that extra 30 minutes that you're on the internet for current class. Oh, yeah. So it's not just for convent. Anything else that you say? Okay, I want to go learn the dean. I mean, honestly, you know, the prophet muhammad sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam said that, if your today is not better than your yesterday, if your tomorrow is not better than your today, then we're basically losers. Every single day that comes, we have to do something different, something more to become better than yesterday, or else we're losers. We haven't done anything. We've lost ourselves. So this is what the professor was teaching us. You have to come back and say, think about it. Is my tomorrow going to be better than my today? inshallah? What am I going to do tomorrow? That's more beneficial. That mean you, for example, you're doing another 30 minutes of cron class or you're learning more cron? Are you taking another class on bead?
Are you exercising an extra five minutes? are you pushing yourself? How are you pushing yourself to make your tomorrow better than you are today? How? What are you doing? And you we have to constantly think about this. And there are days like when you're tired? And you need to rest them? That's fine, we're human. But overall, you got to have to say that. What do I do today? That has made me better than yesterday? What can I say that I can I say that I've done anything more? And if you can say no? Then you have to remember that? How do you have to remember where do we stand on that. And so, like I said, if you're spending too much time chatting, or talking or wasting on things that have really
no benefit to you, then you need to change that. Instead of and this is for all the sisters who go to work, if you notice that you're chatting with your colleagues, more than you need to I'm talking to, maybe you need to stop, maybe you need to just do once a week like Friday, inshallah, before gemasolar. After Juma Salah, you can go out and eat and just chat about the issues of the week and what happened in the rest of the week, just focus on work, so you can get more things done and be more productive. And shallot, you know, and this will help you and your job, obviously, it'll help you you'll be more productive, and you will be an asset to your company, wherever you're working. So
I really want you guys to you know, I want to emphasize on that tremendously, because we don't do it enough. We don't do it enough. And we keep thinking, Oh, I can't do it. Oh, I need to do it. And all these excuses come and I'm saying half excuses, make a schedule and follow it and Shall I will you be 100% following it all the time, no things will come up and that's okay, that's life. But you should be able to have 90% of it. You know, if I don't have a schedule, they tell you like that when the end of the year comes like December. And I don't have the new schedule for the new year because sometimes it's not out until January. I get like panicky because like I have all the stuff that I
need to write for next year I shall live and I have no place to write it and I'm afraid I'm going to lose my information. And so that's how vital it is to be thinking. It's good to think about the future but not to obviously
no delay the present. Obviously, you need to do your best in the present. But you should always be planning in case we're here in the next stage, and we can do better for you No problem.
Okay, so with that being said, let's go to the next thing.
We have another activity to do. Okay, hope everyone's ready where their paper and pencils or typewriters or actually not typewriters, but your keyboards, I want you to write down for me now, five things that you feel without even having done a daily grid yet you haven't done that yet. But I want you to write down five things that you feel waste most of your time every day, five things that you feel waste most of your time, we had talking on the phone, talking to people being on internet, and I want you guys to write down five things, and then inshallah I want you to share some with me inshallah. So I'm going to give you just a couple of minutes to go ahead and do that.
Okay, so you guys are already kind of starting to see your,
your, what's they say? It's a call.
your pattern. You've had it? You guys already kind of starting to see it right?
You don't get it? Okay. So there's a obviously a few things. The first most important thing is think.
Thinking about your pattern. I want you guys to realize,
when you're looking and you're seeing your pattern, and you're noticing that
you're wasting your time, how does it make you feel? Inside you? How does that make you feel?
Because by the end of the day, each one of us knows Yeah.
Absolutely. All right. There's a blog on laziness, you know, that was just to hear.
Yeah, it's true. That's exactly how we're supposed to.
Yeah, okay. So here's, here's my thing to you really quick. First of all, there's a block, inshallah, I will post it on my Facebook fan page, as long as I see it in Arabic, and obviously in English, but you need to make that block often for laziness. That's a big one, because obviously, we have to go through that. But one other thing I want to tell you guys, before I go to the next point, inshallah,
besides that, you know, obviously saying that one asking a lot for help, is going back and thinking, one of the things that really, really motivates me is thinking, Okay, if today was my last day, and I was living on this earth, what things must I do every day? To be sure that you know, that my last day went, well, what things must I complete? And so for me, for example, my mind is, okay, I must wake up at Target and pray, I must, I must, you know, obviously do my five times a day Salah I must read crop, I must obviously try to keep myself intact. And so coming back in, this is something that inshallah might be able to help you because, you know, none of us know when our last day is only
Allah knows. And so if you kind of think about it that way. And really, that's how my book, imagine that today's your last day came out, was that if you think of every day as being your last day, it's going to kind of kick the laziness out of you a little bit. Because if you knew the doctors came and told you, you only have hours to live. That's all you're going to die. And you're going to go see Allah subhanaw taala in 24 hours, how would you spend those 24 hours? Would you call your family members? And we can relate with them? And if they're angry at you, would you apologize? Would you read more cron? Would you focus on your salon more? How would you be if you knew you only had 24
hours to live? And this is, and we know that the Prophet salallahu alaihe salam told us that your last deed is your best deed. So the best deed is your you know, by dying with a really great deed, you know, obviously,
you're gonna be in better shape and shallot, so your last deeds needs to be really good and shallow, you know? So my question is, would you not be more productive on that day to make sure that you close and tied up all the loose ends?
Yeah, all of a sudden, we spent so much more time reading, cut off praying, saying I'm sorry to people who would would change your whole attitude because we're about to go meet Allah subhanaw taala. And we want the lives of adults to be pleased with us. Right?
This is how you should be thinking every single day of your life because obviously nobody knows when our last is going to be. And this alone should kick out the shape on from you in the sense of pushing you and forcing you to do the right thing. So if it's your last day, you should be exercising.
Because every day, you're doing it for the sake of a lot. Because if you don't exercise, you're not going to have that energy to be able to worship a lot the way he wants to be worship, because laziness isn't something good for us, right. And so it kind of goes into that. Now let's go to the activity, we just did activity, let's go to the action plan, now we're gonna have make an action plan, inshallah, an action plan is a list of all the tasks you need to carry out in order to achieve your main objective. Okay, so we're all going to have to have an action plan scissors in order to succeed, you must have an action plan. Okay, so let's just say you have to work on this big project
to have a fundraiser.
Nowadays, you can have fundraisers in so many different ways, but we're gonna kind of, let's say,
I'm gonna do kind of what I'm going to kind of go over with what I'm doing. Do the fundraiser, like a webinar fundraiser, what we're doing, you know, what we're doing with Dr. Pillai right now. So you've got this fundraiser that you want to do. And so you, what you need to do is you need to write down all the action plans of everything that you need to have to take place before you actually make that schedule. And to be able to carry out a great fundraiser, and they make it very successful shot into write out everything right, you need to write down. So I'll tell you, like, you need to write down first of all, what is the date of the fundraiser? What? Are there going to be any speakers on
there? How long is it going to be? Where is it going to be held? Where are you going to mark it all the stuff, that's all you need to have this whole action plan? before you move to the next level, you need to have that action plan.
So having that now, you're working on here, I'm actually planning for a fundraiser hamdulillah. So having that all of that written down, you draft the plans? And then you think, Okay, how am I going to do it? How slowly? Am I gonna do it? How bad? Am I gonna do it? How much time do you have? Obviously, if you have a week, you have to move much faster than if you have a month? Who's going to help me who's going to be involved with me? Who's going to work on what all of that has to be taken care of. Right? And, and it's the same thing for college, you know, people who want to go to college and they want to graduate college, what do they have to do they have to kind of drop is like five
year plan for your plan on how they're going to finish college and shala? What classes they're going to take one day and to take them what project is going to be similar or different? What is their kind of action? And how long is it going to take them, I mean, each class, if you have to take three biology classes, you know, that's going to take you up to three quarters or three semesters to complete it. And so certain things can't happen, you know, you have to take, you know, level one, level two, level three, you can't take level three, or level two, just because it's available, you have to go in those orders. So you need to have this action plan to be able to work out how long
it's going to take you to do certain things.
And if something is going to take you about two and a half weeks or three weeks, like a fundraiser is shockula. But you do it and you know, a week and a half 100 luck. And then you can write down so that you're aware that you have time to add other stuff in case emergency situations come up, you have to give yourself enough time to be able to complete that. Okay, so I'm now going to go back and I'm going to give you something that I'm sure a lot of the sisters probably like the whole weight loss thing, right? How do we lose weight? How do we live? And how do we put that in our schedule? Okay, if you want to lose, obviously, like I said, 30 pounds, let's just say you want to lose 30
pounds, then you need to sit down and say, how many pounds would that be a week? If you said that's two pounds a week, which is average, and it's pretty healthy? That's about eight pounds a month, right? Eight times what is 38 times four, let's just say four months, give and take. So four months, you can lose 30 pounds in four months. But let's just say you're taking you a little bit more time and you're you know, there's days where you don't exercise or you eat more that you give yourself six months, you want to lose 30 pounds. Well, in that six months, what's your plan now you wrote written down in six months, I'll lose 30 pounds a shot, right? So let's just see what's February 18.
March, April, May, June, July, August, August 18. You got to lose 30 pounds and shala. Now you come back and they say that's how much two pounds a week. Right? Two pounds a week would have been two pounds a week. Then you turn around and say, Okay, what do I need to do to lose two pounds a week, which is average, it's not crazy losing weight.
Well, I obviously need to eat, you know, healthy and I need to exercise. So what happens once my peak time. My peak time is between five in the morning to seven in the morning. Great. So after Salah. I'm going to do it. I'm going to go for 30 minutes and I'm going to exercise I'm gonna need to go on the treadmill. You do an aerobics video, whatever you want to do. Okay, here's your 30 minutes daily. It's in your schedule, and your schedule, and then you turn around. Okay, now I need to eat healthy. How am I going to do that? Well, you turn it around and now you put your whole menu menu for food. Right? You make a menu and you could even make a menu up to six months and show up
you needed to you could do that. But let's just say you do a monthly menu you make up your monthly menu and you write down exactly what you need for breakfast or snacks lunch or dinner.
They're shot. Now, it might not be 100% that way, but overall it will be. And you can even give yourself off maybe the weekend if you want. Now, I wouldn't go crazy, when you're off, you don't have the two cheeseburgers to make up for the rest of the league, you don't have to have double fries and double shakes and double everything just so you can make up. But you have to come back and you have to, you know, focus on NZ, how it's going to help inshallah, and make up that schedule for yourself. So once you have that, so now you have a final plan, you got six months, everything's written down, now comes back to the time of you actually implementing it, implementing it.
So you come back and you say, How am I going to implement this inshallah? So how do you do that? What do you how do you implement it, you actually have a to do list, you have to do lists. I know a lot of people probably don't like this. But you know, all you sisters know that all of us who are married Hamdulillah, we need if we want our husbands to get anything done, we must give them a to do list. If we want them to get more chores done, and then one on a single day, they must have a to do list or else, only one thing will get done. And then he'll say you didn't tell me anything else. You just told me, for example, clean the garage. Okay. You didn't tell me to clean the car, too? I mean,
why didn't you tell me if you wanted me cleaning? Right? So we also need these To Do List systems, we also need them it's very, very vital for us to have them in order to succeed. Now just giving it to other people. All right. So when the to do list, you're gonna write down all the most important tasks on the top list, the list and the least important on the bottom. So for example, on a daily basis, you have to exactly you have to, like for me, I'll tell you, what's my to do list, I have to have concours to show I have to have common practice, I have to homeschool my children, obviously, I have to nurse and pop milk. And then more than anything, obviously, when the last time was on goes
up, everything stops a lot. Okay, so these are the most important things. Now what is the least important? Well, I have to you know, edit some stuff, I have to check through some emails, answer emails, I have to
upload articles, or blogs or other stuff, those are the things that you know, it would be nice if it got done, but they're least important to me. Because, you know, if they don't get done, I'm not gonna stress out. If these other things they must get done. There's no ands ifs or buts, and mosqueta. And so that's kind of what you need to do, you need to make a list like if you get that daily schedule, like I have to make a list on the top, you need to write your most important things that must get done daily inshallah. And on the bottom, you must write down the one the least important things that if they get done on Hamdulillah, if they don't have them, it's not a big deal.
It shouldn't stress you out that much. This list will allow you to organize them and make sure that you do not forget anything that needs to get done. And that also you don't get stressed out when you forget to do important tasks, because it's there. Like if I have to book hotel rooms, when I'm going to speak at the top of my to do list, I have to get that done. Or as the day comes, and I don't have it if I need to print out maps that have to get those done. So I usually put them putting stuff on the top. And depending on obviously timewise how much time I have. But here's the problem sisters, one of the major problems with the to do list is that they seem to, you seem to have so much to do,
all of a sudden one sister start writing, they'd like, Oh, I have to do this, I have to do this. And I have to do this. And what happens is they get overwhelmed, they get overwhelmed. There's so much to do. And then what happens, nothing gets done. goes back to point a, we literally it's almost like we freeze up and a lot of stuff gets back on the backburner and nothing really gets done. Don't overdo it. So that's my next thing. Don't overdo it.
Make it obviously put it at where it's not crazy what you can handle while we're done. Alright, so there's another activity, I want you guys to write down a couple of things, I want you to write down five things that you have to get done on a daily basis that you have to get done. What are five things that you have to get done. And then after you write down those five things, I want you to make an action plan for them. And I want you to write them on the top of your to do list breaking them into like small, small parts every day. So for example, whether that's current practice, whether that's giving you children about taking them to school, what are five things you must get
done daily. That's priority. I want you guys to go ahead and write that down, please. So now that you've written these five things that you have to get done, did you make an action plan right now? Did you make an action plan like with a to do list? How are you going to get them done? The shala
gotta be motivated. You gotta you really gotta want to get them done.
I'm gonna ask you guys a simple question. I want to see what your answer is going to be. How many of you sisters, and I want you to respond by writing me. How many of you sisters want to lose weight?
Just out of curiosity. How many of us are not working
All right. So being this decade, you know, I've this is the case for the majority of sisters saying you want to lose weight. Let me ask you a question. If the doctor came and told you, you've got diabetes, and if you don't change the way you're eating, you're gonna start getting limbs cut off. One or the next time, one leg, the next leg. Are you going to change the way you eat and exercise? How many of you can say yes?
Got it. Okay. hamdulillah.
So with that being said, if you're going to say yes, and you can say, I'm going to do it, inshallah, then why are you not doing it? You know, how easy it is to get diabetes Apollo and go through that I worked in a nursing home. And I actually saw a woman, I actually saw a woman in her 50s, who had gotten diabetes, and she was not changing the way she was eating. And so they cut off one hand, and she still didn't change the way she and they cut off another hand. And she still didn't change the way they eat. They cut off her leg, they kind of have her leg. And so Pamela, she died after that. After the live, she died. And I was like, y'all be? What was it gonna take her to change the way she
ate, she still wanted to drink her Coke, and she didn't want to change. And so I say that you guys think that's why it's so important. And I want you guys to think like that, to think you know, what, if the doctor came to me, I had no choice. Imagine that, you know that that's, and for us, we're supposed to be eating, to live, not living to eat. We're supposed to be turning that around. And so I want you guys to think of these things as you're putting this because I know a lot of sisters struggle with this. Because upon law, we live in a society where there's so much food and there's so much good stuff out there. And we continue to overfeed our belly. And but I want you guys to think,
when will I change? And when will it be too late? You know, this is important for us. So with that being said, I'm going to go back now to saying, we're going to take it to the next chapter, because while it's more shows by 46 already, we're gonna I gotta go a little bit faster paced, because in case you didn't have questions, the next thing we're going to talk about is delegating, delegating, delegating, how many of you guys like the word delegating, telling other people what to do?
Yeah, I love that one, too, okay. So delegating This is something very important that very difficult for a lot of leaders to do. But in order for you to be successful, you must delegate work to others, okay? And the great part of delegating is for you to allow others to make decisions and feel responsible, also, obviously takes some stress off of you. Okay, delegating obviously, depends on how much authority you have. And you want to give away, okay, we all know that micromanaging and doing everything according your way. If you like that, then delegation is going to be very, very hard for you. But if you want peace of mind, and you want to get more things done, then you have to
delegate. Okay, so the hardest part of delegation is who is going to get the job done? Who's gonna get the job done? And I would say, finding people that are they're good at this stuff is very important. Okay. So if you have a bunch of stuff on your list, right, and you have, I need to get laundry done. I need to get the dishes done, I need to cook, I need to go shopping. I mean, there's a lot of things on your list, you have to figure out, Okay, how am I going to get this stuff done? Who's gonna help me? If that's, you know, your spouse, if that's your children, I mean, you've got to learn to be able to delegate. Like, you know, in my house, obviously, there's a lot of things
that have to get done. So when I'm a cron class, and if the baby's awake, I delegate and give her to all Yeah, and I say, all you Here you go, honey, watch your sister. Here's her humped milk and take care of her while I'm in class. So I'm delegated, even though I'd like to take care of the baby and I like to nurse, but at that moment, I made a decision that very important to me. Same thing, you know, she'll have the dishes the boys will clean up the area we eat, you know, one person gets to vacuum and so I delegate and if I can't pray, I'm like, Alright, you're the leader, you're gonna lead and you're gonna lead everyone. So it's to make sure that things get done, everyone has to do
it. You know, my husband, I am like, Alright, you can do the shopping is you're out when you're coming home from Morgan shala. Or when you go to the masjid, can you here's the list, can you do the shopping. And so that is so important. In order for us to be successful, we definitely need to delegate definitely to delegate. And so if you guys want certain things to get done, then you guys need to delegate as well. You need to be able to whether it's with your children, with your family members, with other moms, be able to learn how to delegate and to be able to do with that. Okay, so this is important, and you have to realize, obviously, everyone can't do everything. But when
they're old enough, they're certain ages that obviously people can do something the boys can go
there's always someone to delegate to sister in the in the case, there's no one
to delegate would obviously be, you can switch with other moms. So let's just say you and another mom can say, okay, you watch my kids for three hours this day, and I'll watch your kids for three hours on Wednesday. And that three hours that you have on Wednesday, you could do your laundry to do shopping, you can do like five, six things, because you have a three hour time span, we have no kids or nothing else, you focus just on those petty things that have to get done. So there's so many different ways to be creative about it, but you got to do a show on you could do it, you just kind of have to, you know, like I said, Get in charge and start making it happen Shut up.
Now, you know, sometimes what happens here is obviously, you when you're managing others, and you're checking the checklist, and you're telling them to do it, and especially at work, it kind of gets hard, you know, because you're kind of always did you get this done, did you get do that I'm not it's like, you almost kind of feel like a boss, you know, you finish your this Did you finish or that you get this done because you're delegating, but really, you have to remember that it's for the best, you if you don't delegate, it's gonna take so much more time of yours, and you won't get as much as you want to get done. And sometimes you guys will need a coach to do that. I'll be honest
with you, you know, some people will need a coach to get that done. And to do that, and to help them ask questions and to kind of push them and motivate them. And obviously, you know, all of the big athletes have coaches and all those people, because they know that they get lazy and they need someone to question. So if that comes to you, then you have to think of Okay, who can hold me responsible. And you get another sister, I get someone to hold you responsible to make sure that you're getting that stuff done, you know, kind of helping you and you helping them at the same time. All right. So right now I want you guys to write down really quick, five things that you want to
delegate to other people. Absolutely.
Okay, with that being said, let's go to the next thing. We're gonna start working smarter and not harder. This is my favorite part. How do you work smarter, not harder. Okay, I'll tell you guys something, you know, one of the things I do, there's a lot of things that can be done that you can technically do, but it's a waste of time for you. And so by I'm whether it's hiring help or exchanging work with someone else, or do something like that, you can get it done. And I'll kind of tell you what we did a neighbor of mine and I, my neighbor is really cool. Mashallah. Mashallah. She's an awesome sister. And what happened was, I had like, my strength and my skills, and she had
hers. And she said, when I have a baby, she says, or let's do something together. And I said, All right. She said, How about this? How about I cook for you a couple of times a week, and I clean your house for you, as those are the thing that I dislike the most, because it just takes too much time. And in exchange for that, you know, and I'll babysit the baby a couple of times a week and exchange for that, then how about you
coach me on certain things and how you coach my daughter how to write a book. And I was like, Oh, that sounds great. Why not? Right? I mean, I'm spending time wise, I'm giving her my time by coaching her teaching her. And in return, she's doing things for me that I don't like to do, which is cooking, cleaning, doing the laundry, etc. Okay, so with that being said,
you kind of came up with this plan. That's how delegation kind of start. So this is working smarter and not harder. I did what I'm good at. And she does what she's good. Does that making sense? Okay, so you take your time you delegate to others to get things done, and you're able to help do other stuff. And again, like I said, there's some things that really literally take, you know, a web developer may take a web developer, maybe 1015 minutes to do it, because he or she is talented in that area. They weren't yours in it, they know how to do it. But if I was to go and open this website and try to do this, it would take me probably hours, maybe a day or two. So wouldn't it be
smarter for me to give $10 to him to do that job than me spending two days and trying to do it? Right? Would that be smarter. So now you got to think about that, because that's how you get work smarter, not harder, right.
And you want to think you always want to think of results oriented, like as you want to think results oriented, you want to think of a way that you can make this happen. And, you know, some of you might not like the saying but they say there's many ways to skin a cat, you know, and there's many ways for us to get our job done. You have to be open minded to the fact that others can help you that you can delegate, and that you can be able to exchange jobs with other people and shallot and that's what happens when we real results oriented. Now kind of give you guys a little thing, something that I'm doing. I'm working on this
project right now. And it's really really a great big project and I'm working on it. I needed some volunteers because it was too much for me to do alone. And very it would be very costly if I hired people so I said, Okay, let me see if I can get some more volunteers to help me and with that being said Subhanallah I kind of put up this post on my Facebook and Mashallah I got more than like 25 replies of volunteers. And I was like sending your resumes I'm gonna look and by doing that, I was able to read out the best of the best of who I thought had potential and so
Okay, I want you guys to be part of this team. And once I told him the vision and what I wanted to do with my volunteer thing, people were just like, I mean the sister was like the hair on my skin and standing I totally want to do this Mashallah, I'm so excited. I mean, they were jumping to help me get these tasks done because it was such a big project for the oma inshallah. And if Allah wasn't successful, inshallah, they're going to be a great silica Giardia for all of us who is working on it. And so I come back to you guys saying, okay, here I am, I have this big, I see the results. I know what I want. And I know how to get done. But I need a group of people to help me and because
it's so costly, I thought, How can I get this a different way? And so this is how my volunteers help. Mashallah. So that's kind of how I want you to think okay. And the last thing I want to talk about before we go into question is modeling successful people, is so important to realize that there's so many people out there who you may respect and admire, and obviously from the Prophet sallallahu, lozoff, to all of the messengers of Allah, Allah, may peace and blessings of Allah be upon all of them, we have this habit of the law of so many role models, Mashallah the great demand, Allah have mercy on them, that all of these are role models and their role models are and they're
just the most successful people. And they've achieved some kind of greatness, obviously, not perspective. But even people from the dunya, people who have lost weight, people who have changed people who you know, do all these great things, there's so many people, and if you can have a role model, somebody who's done what you want to get done, you know, someone you admire, who's done what you want to get done, and you kind of follow their path, you know, you follow what they're doing, you follow their path, and you remember that they could do it, you could do it, you know, look for the role model who's been there and done that, that's going to improve your chances of success much
Sometimes you might not find it, there's so many, you know, there's so many things that want to get done. And obviously, there's not role models in that area. But there's other role models I have that have done so many good things that I just look up to that. And so you kind of look at that. And you have to remember, there's a lot of people who would they've achieved greatness, they either write books, or they coach others or they speak of, you know, they're out there giving that advice. And so it's easier for you to learn from these people, inshallah. And so, modeling successful people, it's going to show you that success is possible to achieve, but you have to figure out a way to obtain
it. And it's really, really not as difficult as look, but you could do it sisters, it's really out there, you can do it, you know. And the last activity I want to just go through before we go to q&a real quick is I want you guys to write down five people that you could see as your role models, that you want to learn more, for example, someone who's lost weight, manage their money, manage their time, manage their money, you know, who are five people that you could actually look up to the martial arts great and I can learn them and kind of go and analyze their life and see how you can learn from them. inshallah, I want you to write that down because role models are very important
Alright, now that that's done, let's go straight into QA. And it's going to be about time management. So let's keep it focused on time management. I will take questions so I can answer them in shala and then it's going to be muffled, so Lawson so we can try to do this. So then inshallah whoever's missed this you guys. Listen to it?
How do you deal with nothing to do in too much free time? You know what you fulfill you fill your schedule Sr rahima you fill your schedule before shikon fills it this is the biggest thing is you fill it up by getting stuff to do and making you know, a dream, a goal a vision for yourself. That's how you kind of do it. So what happens is you kind of come up with this vision, this plan for yourself and get your life on track. Once you got your life on track, you're gonna have so much things to do Cipolla, you, there's gonna be no such thing as free time, you're going to be wondering, how can you get people to help you do so much to do?
So definitely, I mean, there's so much to do martial arts, it's coming back down and putting a plan together for your life. inshallah, inshallah. And that's what a lot of times people don't do that they don't plan their life. And so Shakedown plans are for that, and not in the way in a bad way, like everything, but in so many ways he takes he steals from you, and so inshallah you could do it like that, it would be so much better.
Again, one of the best things
would be like if you have the motivation and desire and you're starting a project, but you're not completing it, then you're definitely gonna need two things. You're gonna need a coach, someone to push you and keep you on track. Or you're going to need someone else to hold you accountable. A good friend, or someone to say, Okay, look, here, I'm going to hold you accountable. You're going to do and you hold me accountable. So two friends could do that for each other. But not friend in the sense where your buddy buddy in the eyes, okay, even the word guy, no big deal. No, you said what do you mean you didn't work out? What are you talking about? You get angry at you, you pout a little
bit, you know, are you tired tomorrow, you can do one hour because you missed 30 minutes today. So I'm going to double over here tomorrow. So you you need someone to help
hold you accountable and to help you not go from one thing to another and get scattered. So if you have the motivation you have the desire but you can't focus you're going to need obviously a way to come back and get focused inshallah.
How to go from vicious circle?
Yeah, that's a very, very good question sister. Hon. Yeah.
Really, it comes back down again, by planning your life inshallah, one thing, I've noticed that many people do, they don't plan their life. And in the sense of, obviously, Allah subhanaw taala, you know, is the cover of everything that happens and goes on in our lives. And we don't know what's out there. But we do need to have a plan for our life. It's like, you know, if you were to go from here to California, would you just sit in the car and start driving? Or would you get a map? And when you're trying to figure out from here was point A to point B, where are you going to spend the night and all that? How are you going to do it? If you need a map, and you're going to go through, but
that's exactly what you need for your life. You need to have a vision or goal a dream? And what is it that you want to complete? And how do you want to complete it. And within that vision, goal and dream, you can do other stuff as well, you know, but if you don't have that big vision or goal in the dream, to what you want your legacy to be what you want your life to be, then you're just you're not, you're just gonna be like a dog chasing its tail and circles, and you'll never catch it, and you'll never understand it. So I'd say one of the things you could use this to hanja that might be beneficial to you is I wrote this book called nine steps to achieve your destiny. And it's a book
that has been approved by many of those scholars, Marshall, including Dr. Bilal Philips, you can get this book, it's a 595, the E book, I recommend getting get reading it and doing every activity at the end of it, because by the end of the ninth chapter, inshallah, you should have a plan for your life, inshallah, you should have a vision, a goal and say, Okay, this is what I want to do. And in that book, then you can go through nine different steps to try to figure that out for you. So this way you can plan to live instead of living to plan, you know, without like, instead of being scattered, you'll have some inshallah. Okay, how do you deal with your spare time while your
husband's at work? Or morning tonight? Oh, I don't have any spare time. But how do you deal with that against the suboptimal if you had
a plan? If you have something that you envision that you wanted to do, and you're working on every day, then you wouldn't have any of this issues? You know, you would? So
Okay, hold off the questions just a moment, because you guys are going too fast. And I can't answer. If you had, obviously a question. I mean, a plan, you would have someone, you would have so much stuff to do that you wouldn't have anything else to be rather than your shoulder. That's what you really need is you need to have your stuff together, basically. And the best way to do that is kind of discover yourself, and obviously unleash the power within you.
Okay, I'm trying to get to the next question.
Okay, hold on.
One second. All right. Any more for just a second, I can just read these questions.
How do you juggle something folks don't want time without slipping on. Oh, you're gonna slip here. And this is to to hear it. No big deal. It's okay. That's like, you slip, you get up and you walk again, no big deal. And you just kind of juggle them to the best of your ability. You know, you do it to the best of your ability, and you take it one day at a time. And if you fall, you get back up. It's okay. I'll tell you something crazy. I did I just like I don't know, about two weeks ago, is I went into my WordPress and I was learning how to do this all these websites up and I just as a 15 $100. website, we spent months on fixing Ghana. And you know what I did? I deleted everything by
accident, and I didn't even have a backup. Okay. So I'll tell you, I was like, 1500, down the drain hamdulillah. And I just restarted I just got back up and I have to restart things that had been we look for things I had to rewrite things. I mean, it's not as good as it was, but it is what it is. You just got to keep going at it. And that's like so haven't been mine. Don't worry, you're going to slip in, you're going to fall many times, but that's okay.
Yeah, you will lose consistency. But the thing is that depending on how important each one is, it just depends on how important each one is. You know,
I'll tell you, when I'm taking my crown class, my 30 minutes of conquest, it's extremely hard at times because the baby's crying, the kids are yelling something. I mean, I'm not 100% focused on my conquest. But you know, every day I know I'm getting ahead every day, and I'm trying I might not be there. 100% there, but I'm there at 75%. And the whole point is at least I'm doing it and I'm moving. It's like exercising. You might not be 100% exercising that full 30 minutes, but even if you did a good 20 minutes out of the 30 and walk the last time you did better than yesterday. Right? At least you're doing it
So that's kind of how I look at it you do it you do your best then and just ask a lot to make it better for you to shut up.
I didn't know that
Shawn was gonna be recording the show.
And if you can show us his or her when you listen to this, I talk about the activity good nor bad and inshallah will help you understand that how do you make time for everything inshallah
that'll be definitely in this talk show yak
yak many men don't like to plant.
My sister However, one of the best ways to get on get him on board is by showing him and show off your plan, you are more productive and you get more done. But obviously by showing him results versus talk, so you know, showing him the different types of results that you've done and you've achieved by being able to plan and you just kind of talk about it and also by showing other people's achievements by their planning, and inshallah he might slowly started getting to the idea and they might make him if it takes time to change it might slowly start opening his mind to understand and get at a different level might not happen overnight, but at least he'll start having that in the
back of his mind inshallah and if you continuously talk about a here and there without forcefully by giving examples and kind of go wow Mashallah look this these people did this and they planned this and watch Oh, that was a great fundraiser wasn't that great? It was planned so well it was organized Mashallah. And by giving
these kind of examples that might help open his mind to it.
Yes, well, sister and Amina, Mashallah, you're homeschooling be very motivating to me Mashallah. Cooking their food and taking care of them. And I have to say, for all the moms out there, and depending on how many kids you have, sometimes your life does take a little bit of a backburner compared to everything else because of your children. And that really, you're sacrificing that for a loss of amberleigh. And to do that, it is hard, it's not easy. You know, I have to tell you, my biggest thing has been this last year is obviously I've been wanting to really lose weight, but I'm not because I'm nursing my baby. And obviously we have to eat and drink constantly in order to
produce smoke. And so, you know, I'm motivated, but I can't do it. And so because, you know, I have a sacrifice for the baby. And so what I'm trying to say to you is, you're sacrificing your life right now for your children and chalok Allah and inshallah inshallah it's going to pay off big and within just a simple few years, every they're going to start being doing more on their own and you're going to have that time for yourself inshallah, and sometimes it feels like, you know, you want to do more but you have to remember that you know, a lot never gives you more than you can handle a marshal have five children by yourself all of this that's that's an accomplishment on its
own. Mashallah, so I think you're doing a wonderful job, Sister, don't
don't i don't think you need to be too worried, Mashallah, you're doing good. And it's going to take some time. Like I said, once they get a little bit on their own, and they start doing more stuff on their own, then inshallah, you will be able to have much more time.
How do you deal with worrying too much about the future by by having a plan Sr rahima by having a plan for your life, and kind of organizing it and then putting giving up putting the whole thing on a lot and saying Jada B, it's up to you. Like, you know, there's so many stuff I want to do them so yeah, be the results are up to you. I'm doing this I'm doing this. Now. If the outcome doesn't come out the right way. I'm like, that's because I didn't want that outcome. I put in my efforts I put in my time, and if the outcome did not come up that way, that's because that's the outcome Allah had planned for me. So you do your best and obviously let Allah take care of the rest you know, with the
book cover I would you you do your best and let the creator take care of the rest and that'll help you stop worrying because you know that it's a law that controls everything. All you can do is your best that's it that's it
Yeah, sometimes that's true.
Yes, is there whether you need to be realistic Don't be unrealistic. Don't say I'm going to work out for two hours in a realistic would be okay. I'm going to workout for 20 minutes inshallah. Okay. Don't be like unrealistic because time is going to make you totally, totally stop doing what you're doing and it's going to make you what I definitely say coming
Back to realistic is good. Like why yak yak
Yeah, getting started, obviously, you know you need to be motivated system you're maybe having you know, depending on what size that everyone wants to be but maybe if you want to be a size six amount of via you want to have the medium of AI instead of the extra large and so you put that beautiful medium or by and Mashallah, one day I'm going to wear this a buy and it's going to be loose on me. And so you get all this, but you know, having that I need my time here so much. Yeah, you just need to have something to motivate you a little bit. And having or maybe having, you know, another thing I would say for the sisters who want to lose weight, maybe we have like an event, you know, like
this once a year event and everyone's gonna meet up and they're gonna all come and they're gonna save their money. And let's just say we have this big sisters. You know, we can get a hotel and we're all having fun. And we're gonna have these classes and all this stuff. And everyone's coming and but the catches, everyone has to have lost at least 20 pounds.
If you did not lose your 20 pounds, you cannot come to the event. You're not like if you put together something like that It motivates all the systems because they want to come down and meet each other. They want to see each other. And now guess what they have to do they have to lose 20 pounds. See, there's always something to motivate you just gotta be
how should I say you got to be creative. You're welcome to power.
out we actually something cool to do together like an event like that.
All right, any last questions before we get going, inshallah?
No problem. You're welcome. Welcome. I was just going to let you guys know one thing really quick, I am going to be doing
Dr. belaz leadership classes, and it's for sisters only, it's these 12 classes, it's going to be once a month for the next 12 months and starts in March, I think March 25. inshallah, and it's really going to be this, this whole course on how you can become leaders, and in everything that you're doing, how you can become successful at it. And I bet if any of your sisters are interested, I'm just going to put into website, so you get to be part of it, it's going to be, I think, like a three hour thing they have
Hold on, let me actually just copy pasting. And it's gonna be like an hour, an hour and a half, and then it's gonna have q&a. And it's really going to be a cool bonding moment. And it's going to be all those people who are with me in it. It's going to be a whole new level and shallow, where I take them and how I teach my whole leadership thing. And I think what we tend to do is we don't tend to think we're leaders, and we don't tend to put enough emphasis on how we can be a leader in what we're doing. And so therefore, we kind of just continue life again on a daily basis.
My computer's going slow
Okay, so I sent you guys the link so if anyone's interested in being part of this, it would be awesome inshallah, because there is definitely something in doing there. szalai And like I said, it's, I definitely think it's useful and they can be so much for us to learn from it. As Sister Mary said, and one of the things I'd recommend for everyone who does come to the classes here at the sisters have some I mean, if you guys can
There's always you know, I know that they can always use any kind of donations, any kind of volunteer help anything they can get, and I highly recommend it. I mean, even if you can give them a couple hours a week, it would be awesome because sometimes we don't realize it but these programs are run by people who donate their time and their efforts and their own money. So inshallah if you guys can you have the time, feel free to help out at any time
because obviously you guys see the benefits of it inshallah. And other than that,
if there's no more questions, and inshallah We'll get going so we can all get ready for another salon shala