Channel: Yusuf Estes
Sheikh Yusuf Estes, American Muslim Preacher & Teacher giving public lecture on the topic ‘Raising up Daughters Generously is a Shield from Hell fire’
Bismillah Alhamdulillah you're watching way of the Muslim defining the Muslim character, and I'm your host use Festus. For the next few minutes, we want to be talking about a very important subject in the development of character. It's the role that we have in the relationship with the children. We're taking our information from the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, and then interpreting and translating his words from the Arabic to the English. That is called Paddy. And we'll begin with the first one today, talking about dealing with children. This is narrated on the authority of Ayesha de la Juana Li be pleased with her. She says that, a lady alone with her two
daughters came to me and asked me for some charity. But she found nothing with me except one day, I gave her the date, and she divided it between her two daughters. And then she got up and went away. When the Prophet peace be upon him came in, and I informed him about this story. He said, whoever is in charge, meaning to be put to the test by these daughters, and then treats them generously, then they will act as a shield for him.
From the hellfire.
An explanation of this particular video, there's a couple of points I'd like to make at the time of Muhammad, peace be upon him. Before Islam came,
there was amongst the people a very bad habit, and that was to bury their daughters alive when they would have a child born that was a girl, they would bury them alive. So when Islam came, it forbid this horrible practice. So this is an example here, of showing the mercy that comes with Islam, and talking about the relationship of the parents, with their children, especially if their daughters, I want to repeat it for you again, because this is the way of Muhammad peace be upon us to repeat important statements, and let you hear it, reminding you that our lady is coming to the wife of the Prophet peace be upon him and asking for some kind of charity or help. She said the only thing I had
was the date. So when I gave it to the lady, the lady split it in two and a half to one of the daughters have to the other daughter, but then she had nothing herself, and went away. So when the Prophet peace be upon him came and was informed of what happened, then he makes the statement that whoever's in charge of such daughters like this and treats them generously, then this meaning the act that they have done, will be so that it's a shield for them from the hellfire.
The profit now this, we're going to talk about another hidden eat here. And it says the Prophet came toward us.
while carrying omona, the daughter of us over his shoulder, he prayed. And when he wanted to bow, he, he put her down, and then he stood up, and he lifted her up. This is given us another demonstration of the humbleness the Rockman, toward the children. I personally experienced this myself, when I first came into Islam, I had two daughters. This is why this touches me so deeply to talk about this, because I had these two little girls with me. And I would take them to the masjid with me. And when it came time to pray, I didn't want them to stray away or bother anybody. So I would have one who would be standing right by my leg, and the other one I would be holding her in my
arms. And I had heard about such a hadith is this, and that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam used to very much approve of this kind of action that you have your children close to you, especially in your acts of worship. And then when I would bow, I would hold the one like this while I would bow in the prayer, and then stand back up with it. And then when it's time to prostrate, just put it right there. And then I would put my face down close to the ground, she would like kiss my face, and it was really sweet. And now today, these are grown ladies married and
inshallah going to soon have children of their own. And I'm looking at them now and remembering these events and thinking how much effect it must have had on them. Because they have always kept up their prayers through their whole entire life. I've always been worshipping Allah by fasting and doing the acts of charity. And when we're talking about the charity, I recall one time during he that one of my daughters was given some money, you know, as a gift from some of the other Muslims. And she took this money immediately without even counting or looking at it. She smiled and walked straight over to the collection box for the sadhika and put the money into there, as if to say that,
you know what, this is great. I have something now that I can give like other people give. So it shows that by starting your children out young and acts of worship and having them to be involved in worship.
Along with you. This is it pays off. It pays off here in this life because you see your children grow up is good Muslims, good, responsible citizens. But then on the Day of Judgment, this is also going to be a shield for you from the hellfire. And that's what the prophet sighs lamb is indicating here. Now I'd like to share another one with you. He says that this is Abu huraira rhodiola one is talking about the profits are some he said that Muhammad peace and blessings be upon him. kista has an even alley. And this Hassan Ali is the son of Ali, and the grandson of the prophet SAW some sweet stone that his grandson. And this happens well, another companion was sitting beside him.
And one said, I have 10 children, and I've never kissed any of them.
And the prophet SAW lights on on, cast a look over at him. And he said, Whoever is not merciful to others will not be treated mercifully. And he's talking about a lot.
So it's really important for us to have mercy toward the children I hear it's talking about kissing them, the prophet peace be upon him is kissing his grandson. And somebody else is observing that and says, You know what, I have 10 kids, and I've never kissed any of them.
He's saying now if you're not kissing them, this is not being merciful to them, and who's not merciful to them, in fact, is not going to be shown mercy on the Day of Judgment.
It's interesting in the West, I found, especially in the in the last years, that a lot of people are refraining from kissing their children. As a matter of fact, it seems strange to see a child be kissed by the parents. And even the children will say no, and don't kiss me, you know, I'm in front of my friends that looks kind of you know what? That kind of a baby or something? Come on. Mom, don't kiss me. Come on dad, you know. And in fact, in some cases, when parents are seen kissing their children, people have a tendency to look at this as being something weird. Why are you kissing your children? I know that when I visit Muslim countries and talk about this, they say that even
though my father is elderly, and I have children of my own, my father still kisses me. And I recall a situation that occurred in my own life, that when my father entered into his name, when he got old, very, very old and couldn't take care of himself anymore, he lived with us. And while he was sitting in his chair, and I was working at the computer at this, I do all the time on the internet, you know, and I heard some racket going on in the kitchen. And it was my two daughters fighting over which one of them needs to do the dishes next? And one is saying no, you have to know you have to know and they start a fight. So I started to go in there and settled the argument. But as I got to
the door, I realized when I go in there, you know what they're gonna do. They're gonna say, some icon, Daddy, I'm gonna say what's going on? They're gonna say nothing, cuz that's what they always do. I decided, you know what, I saw my father sitting there. I let me go to my father. And let me just give him a big kiss on the head. You know why? Because I know that me and my sisters gave him this same kind of problem all the time we were growing up, I'm positive that he didn't share that. So I went to my father, and I kissed him on the forehead. And I said that I love you know, this was not a custom that we had in our family before we came to Islam. But I wanted to do that because this
is in Islam. I went to my father, aged in his mid 80s, etc. And I kissed him on the floor, and I said, that I love you. And I kissed his forehead. I went and sat in my chair, returned back to my work. It got quiet out in the kitchen Anyway, after a while one of my daughters she came out and went straight to me and my chair. She kissed me on my forehead. And she said that I love you.
This really touched me, you know, and I was sitting there thinking, My gosh,
what's this? This is what I just did with my dad.
And a little bit later, after the other one finished doing the dishes, she came out and walked up to me, kiss me in the exact same place and said, Dad, I love you.
I started crying. Neither one of them had known that I kissed my father like this, that Allah is showing us. This is a very good lesson for us that this Rockman this mercy that we show to our children is something that's passed on as I kissed my father. So my children also kiss me the same way.
And you know, the Prophet sallallahu Sallam taught us that how you treat your children is how your children are going to treat you. So those of you who are young
And you're thinking in terms of, you know, when I've got children, what am I going to do with them? And how will I behave with them, then think about how you treat your parents. Because how you treat your parents is how your children will treat you. This is a very good example that we have in Islam.
Then, we have another one here is on the same subject of the children kissing them. There was a desert dweller called a Bedouin. And he came to the Prophet peace be upon him, he said, You people, you kiss your boys, but we don't kiss them. And the Prophet said, I cannot put mercy in your heart after Ally's taking it away from you. So once again, we see this example. And it's a excellent example, that the mercy in the heart is being used as is a comparison to kissing our children.
I realize that for some people that don't have this habit, they might find it strange. And they find it a little bit weird. But the children need this, they need to feel this physical contact, to be hugged, tend to be kissed. And this is something that Islam is not just encouraging. It's insisting on this good relationship between the parents and the children.
Some of the companions of the Prophet sallallaahu salam were brought before the prophet and a woman up from them, was milking her own breast to feed the little children who were without mothers. And it was something that the children they were captives that they had, that
didn't have any milk to drink, this woman would take her own milk and give it to these children.
She had lost her child, but later found it. And so she was able to do this. And the Prophet said to us, do you think that this lady can throw her son in the fire? And we said, No, if she has the power not to throw it in the fire, the prophet said, Allah is more merciful to his servants than this lady is to her son. Now in this example, what we have is a woman who's lost her child.
And when some captives have been brought in, and they're without parents little, like orphaned children, they're needing milk, and this lady's giving milk from her own breast to these children.
And so the prophet SAW the light with tsunamis explaining something here, man, the example he said, Would such a woman is so merciful, even to other people's children, which he ever thought or childhood wiring is saying, not if she has the power to avoid, she wouldn't. And so Allah is saying, and Allah, he's even more merciful than this. And so this shows us some of the characteristics that we can develop in building the character of the Muslim, you're watching way of the Muslim, we want to take a break and come back to this subject of dealing with the youth. Standby.
This middle handler, we're back, you're watching way of the Muslim defining the Muslim character. We've been talking on the subject of how we deal with children, and how children deal with parents. We've been comparing this kissing and hugging as a form of mercy. even to the extent that whoever doesn't do this is not being merciful with the children. As such, the one who doesn't show mercy won't be shown mercy by Almighty Allah. So I want to continue in that same vein, I'd like to mention to you a couple more on this subject before we move on. And that is that the Prophet peace be upon him.
Oh, was confronted by ablon. He said, I said, O Messenger of a law, which is the greatest of sins. He said, it's the set up a partner with a law and worship. Although he alone greeted you. I said, Okay, then what's next? He said, it's to kill your son, fearing that he'll share the food with you.
And I further ask what next, he said is to commit illegal sexual intercourse with the neighbor, the wife of your neighbor. And then Allah revealed as a proof for the statement of profit. And this is in your afrikan, Chapter 25, verse 68, those who invoke not with the law, any other God. And I would like to encourage you to read that from your Quran. By the way, if you don't have a Quran, need to get a copy of that in the language that easiest for you to read from, read these verses for yourself and enjoy the meaning of it. But in any case, this is a great lesson person. It says here, that of the law is asking Prophet Muhammad peace be upon about the greatest sin the all the
Previous monotheistic religions have in their revelations, this statement of not worshiping any god alongside of God, there's no other God beside God. And that's exactly the greatest sin here as well. And he said after that,
he said, well, that means the greatest sin. The next is if you kill your son fearing that he'll eat your food. Again, this was a practice. You see, in those days, people used to kill their children, because they feared What if we have too many children, then there won't be enough food. But this implies that a person doesn't really understand that the food is not something you have to be concerned about. Your children are not going to eat something that was for you to eat. for Muslims, we know that every single bite of food that's written for you to have, you're going to have it and whatever was written for them to have, they're gonna have it too. So it is wrong for us to take the
life of a child, and suspecting that they're going to interfere with our own well being, or our risk is a con Arabic, daily bread.
I said what's next after that, he was talking about having illegal sexual intercourse with the neighbor's wife. And then Allah revealed the verses that are pertinent to this topic. It's interesting to me, having been a Christian, to come into Islam, and realize that these are the same beautiful teachings from the previous revelations. This is not something new. This is the same exact concept of what's the priority number one is to have the right belief.
And this is the same thing that we find in the Holy Scriptures from before. So it's not a new messages. We look in the Old Testament, the Torah. And we find that after the correct belief, and the worship of one God, that the very next most important thing is the relationship to the parents.
Then we looked at the New Testament, we find the same thing that the greatest commandment is to worship one God, and then our relationship with the people. And then when we come to the last and final testament, which is the Koran, again, we find that the most important thing is that ilaha illAllah, the worship of only one God, and no partners with him, and then the relationship of the people with emphasis on the parents and the children.
This particular one that's coming up here is very interesting, or some didn't say it says that the Prophet sallallahu Sallam used to put me on one of his thighs, and he would put a son in an army. This is Hasson even though he is the son of Ali, the grandson of the Prophet, peace be upon him on the other thigh. And then he would embrace us. And he would say Allah, please be merciful to them, as I am merciful to them. So this embracing of children is a form of mercy and Islam to teach them love and compassion, intimacy and closeness that only comes between parents and their children or grandparents and their children, the elders of the community, who, when they show this kind of
affection for children, from the heart, and the children feel this, it helps them to build their character in a way that they're very merciful with other people. I've found in traveling around the world to different places, that when I observed that a community has people who are really taking care of the children in this way, and being merciful with them, kind to them, understanding with them, and being patient with them, that these children have a tendency to grow up and be very healthy and balanced in their emotion in their character. So this is a form of building character of the child is for the parents and the grandparents and other relatives, to do what, and that is to
show this compassion to them and be merciful with him in this beautiful way. And I know that sometimes, as I said, in other civilizations, other societies, you find people who will shun this idea, they'll say, No, no, no, no, I don't, you don't need to touch me, I don't need to touch you. It's not a touchy feely thing for me that actually, this is probably what most people need more than anything. Probably when they were children. They didn't find something like this. And maybe that's why they're resisting it now. But in any case, the thing we're showing here is that Islam is teaching you a great way to build character amongst our children amongst our youth from the very
Another point about this is that when these children are amongst people,
Who are not Muslim or don't follow Islam, then they can observe the difference real fast between what they grew up with and what they're observing here. Now, a lot of times when I meet people in the States, they come over from various countries. And they're shocked when they find that the treatment between the parents and children is so detached, and they say, How can people live like this? How do people get by I mean, we've heard so many wonderful things about living in the West, but we come over and we find such a detachment, and the relationship between the parents and the children just seems so unnatural. How do you guys do this? And you know, it makes you think about
it. It's true, if you see that a lot of times children are just can't wait, I want to get so old, I want to grow up, I can't wait to grow up. Because when I get so old, I'm moving out, I'm getting my own place. And I'm out of here.
And this is definitely something that
I think if you think about this in detail, you realize that there's a reason they're they don't want to be with the parents. Why? Because parents haven't showed them any of this mercy. They haven't embraced these children haven't shown them how to develop this part of their character, then what happens when they get old? And this goes back to the story of the relationship between you and your parents will be between you and your children? Because as they get older, then what will they do with you, your children? What are they going to do with you? Because a lot of times in the West, we find that the children say, Okay, that's enough, you know, you're old, we need to put you in a role
folk song, and they don't care for them. But in Islam, this is not, it's not conceivable that you do such thing when you plant. These are people that raised you up. These are the people that helped you when you were helpless. And now when they reach a state of needing help, it's apparent that you're the most logical one as a child to help your parents, how could you just put them out into an old folks home and leave them, maybe you go by on every other Sunday, you take them out to the buffet or to the cafeteria, and you say, Okay, guys, this is what you're going to get, and then take them back and drop them off and leave them. How can we do such a thing as this?
again, it goes back to not following the Scripture, the revelation, because it's come to the same people the same way to people over and over in that. First is the worship of God alone, and then the relationship with the parents and children. So we've been focusing a lot in this segment dealing with this subject of the relationship here between God in His creation, which is us, and we have to worship Him alone without partners. And then immediately after that is this mercy that we have for these children? I have another Hadith that I'd like to mention to you, in winding this up. And that is when the prophet SAW Islam said, Whoever raises up four daughters, and again, this was the
encouragement not to be killing these, these newborn baby girls, you know, that he said, if a person has four daughters and raises them up good in the worship of one god of a law, then this person and Dave judgment will be able to jump over the, the Surat or the bridge between them and the paradise. Oh, that's a great incentive, isn't it? To realize that if you raise up four daughters in a good way, then you would be able to just jump over this bridge on the day of judgment and go to Paradise. For me, this is this is a great incentive. But some of the companions of Mohammed they said, Well, what about three, but some of them had three daughters. He said, and three. And then somebody asked,
Well, what about two? And he said, and
then when I shared this head ether teaching, with some of my friends back in the States, you know what they said? What about one? I said, Well, I had to I didn't bother to memorize the rest of it.
What happened in our home when we came into Islam, and we saw this beautiful teaching, it was at a time when my children were really, really young. And they got this benefit from this teaching of being merciful to children, of hugging them, kissing them being close to them. And I believe really, that this helped them develop their character to bring them as they are today. And you know, something, it doesn't matter. Even today. Now, if I would call home and say,
Somali como esta walaikum salam, how's my little girl, and they're always gonna say, how's my daddy? Even though these are grown ladies
Now, and they're saying this, how is my daddy, and I'll ask them, who's the best daddy in the whole world, you know what they say? prophet muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam. And then after that you
we gained a lot in this episode dealing with the relationship between the parents and the children. And I believe in sha Allah, God willing, that if we'll take this and analyze, will realize that it's a simple thing to do, takes a little bit of time, consideration and patience, but it pays off in the long run. Because the whole goal here of this life is go to a better place in the next life. And this is one of the steps to build that character to achieve that. And you're watching the way of the Muslim developing the Muslim character. And we encourage you to stay tuned for more programs like this and until next time salamati to Weber catch you