How I came to Islam 2

Of course, if you have to be a Muslim to marry,

you know, Muslim girl.

So she put me off, and she became very angry with me. Because, you know, she saw that I was getting close to this thing, which was gonna maybe ruin things.

So, shave away a little bit by bit.

reading and reading and reading, I started to look at the world outside with new glasses on, like somebody had put a pair of glasses on, suddenly, I could see things in focus, you know, I can see the foreground and I can see the background. Whereas before things were a bit cloudy and hazy.

And the more I studied, I studied too fast. In the month of Ramadan, I started to fast. And sometimes I will go to the masjid the small masala. And I would just join the press, I didn't know what I was saying I was just doing the motion.

And after some time,

this occasion happened that I was with some people one night, and I had been continually fasting and reading and making Vicar

and asking Allah for help. She was getting further and further away from me.

And my objective was to get closer to read the books and do the fasting. So I get closer.

And I started to see the world as a totally different place, you wouldn't believe how someone can change overnight, like, to two weeks, I became somebody who just didn't know anything, as somebody who really had some sort of confidence about why I was here. But it wasn't written on me yet. It wasn't part of usage. It wasn't part of Tim, I was in London. And as with these guys that I used to know, back in the days,

and then I had a terrible evening with them. Because everything they did contradicted what I was doing for two weeks, they want to drink they want to do also I won't even mention the things they were doing disreputable things.

So I was conscious that they were contradicting me, and I was contradicting them.

I for the whole night, I just kept reading the book. They were just gone. I was in a room on my own. And then I went to the bathroom. I just made a boo boo. I just made good. So like I didn't know what I was doing. Because I didn't know good. So really, I just read some stuff in a book. And I became totally and utterly focused on Islam has to be the right way.

It was that night. In the morning, I woke up early just to get away from the house because I couldn't be with those people anymore. was like, you know, they were dirty. And there was some serious problems with them, and I need to get out of there. Something forced me out of the door. I walked up the road and I met this man. And because he had brown skin as well, maybe he's gonna know where the mosque is you ignorant at that time. I didn't realize I thought, you know, anybody can be a Muslim.

He asked, he told me there's a mosque up the road, it was about a mosque.

I went into the mosque, and this guy grabbed hold of me. And he said, What's going on? Well, why are you here? I said, Well, you know, there's something I have to do today. I mean, it's that

I didn't even know what it was called Shahada. I sent him

the place out there is bad.

And I know that there's a better way. And I believe that the quote and can answer my problems. So hamdulillah the grace and mercy of Allah subhanho wa Taala was in the month of Ramadan. Early in the morning, I went to there in the front and took the Shahada and the whole Masjid loads of rubbish, there must have been about three 400 people in the whole of them. Each and every one of them, embrace me and said Salaam to me. And congratulations that you you found your life and the solitude of what I've done.

What I had done, was comparatively speaking with like,

life versus death

and death versus life. Because

if I hadn't if Allah subhanaw taala hadn't guided me,

they would have been just like this.

And he's like that for 80 to 90% of the world's population. If you think about it, it's just death upon death. Each day, you're just getting closer to your appointed

period of death, but you're dead in the dunya. And you're going to be dead in the in the grave, and you're going to be punished in the hereafter. And you know, you've no idea the mercy and the Nirvana of Allah subhanaw taala that he makes a person come to this Deen

hamdulillah before I reverted to Islam,

the truth of the matter is, I did not know what contentment was.

Because contentment comes from finding yourself upon the truth.

And if you're upon the truth, you will be contented.

But I mean, I'm not just talking about for one day, I'm talking about no matter what happens to you, wherever you are, who ever you are with, you will have that ultimate peace and tranquility in your heart. So when I became Muslim, when I refound my beginning, my origin, the fitrah,

I discovered that my depression disappeared, I discovered my reliance on alcohol, at that time, completely disappeared, that I didn't need anything or anyone. Because I'd found that ultimate truth

from within. And externally, of course, I had the Brotherhood, myself and my wife, basically, we married we arranged the marriage ourselves. Because when you revert to Islam, there's a lot of people who are not really practicing Islam. They're practicing what their forefathers were practicing, which is their culture.

And it's not much to do with Islam.

Because if a person has, you know, one of the conditions of sadaqa, one of the can the groups of people that is paid to his his pizza, the reverse pizza, the converse, or the reverts whichever phrase you prefer.

And this is why,

because Allah subhanho wa Taala, in his infinite wisdom of mercy, he recognizes the need to support those people who are in the most needy categories and the needy categories. One of them is when you come into the path of a law, you need as much support as you can, why because the shape Tom is attacking you left, right and center is now trying to knock you off the path.

And he uses some of the Muslims, some of the non Muslims, all of the enemies of Allah, they come and they start attacking.

uses the family sometimes he even uses your own family. In the first two, three years of marriage would tough.

And we try to practice the deen, we try to pray a little bit. My wife tried to put the hijab on a bit. And we grew organically as Muslims. Because you have to remember, of course, the Koran was revealed over 23 years, it didn't just come overnight. And everybody just sat on it and just said I we believe in it. And we're going to do.

Likewise, when people come into the dean, we all need to realize that they need supporting, they need to be goaded correctly, you need to use wisdom with them. You need to use fair preaching with them. And you need to treat them like babies. They're small babies. That's what they are. I'm actually only 15 years old, you know, the rest of my life was about struggling, just struggling and getting through and getting by. So

the family Alhamdulillah and the family affairs were very good Alhamdulillah after a time after two, three years, and then when kids started coming that gave me also an added purpose and hamdulillah my father,

I hadn't seen him for a long time. And before I reverted to Islam.

I had an address in Ireland. He was Irish. And just Wakefield's farm in Mount Ross. That's what it was. So I hitch tight one day to go and find him because I thought that if I found my father, it would help me to

somehow know who I was and what I was doing here.

So I hitchhiked all the way I got to the place it took me ages to find the place because it was a very incomplete address no postcode.

And

I found my uncle or my extended family there.

And then, you know, I stayed with him for two weeks. However, my father was living and reading just around the corner from he basically, the whole journey had to come all the way back to go and find them. And eventually I found him. And unfortunately, he was an alcoholic, basically, I mean, he just lived, digging the roads and building houses and then getting drunk in the night. And that was his whole life. When I embraced Islam, he just thought it was a bit of a joke. He didn't really even know what was going on.

My mother, initially, as did my mother's family, they considered that it was just a passing face. They said Well, look, we saw you as a Buddhist. We saw you talking about Christianity. We saw you do him at Tolstoy, and veganism and vegetarianism. This is just another face. Good is all very healthy. We really like it.

Three years after I became Muslim, I married my wife and hamdulillah they started to see this was wasn't so much of a face. Firstly, it had lasted three years. Secondly, I was married to a woman who was Moroccan and hamdulillah. She She wanted to practice the deen of Allah.