Hijab And Modesty

share this pageShare Page
Yusha Evans

Channel: Yusha Evans

Topics: Hijab

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


00:00:04--> 00:00:04

To be

00:00:09--> 00:00:14

with be this world is wonderful.

00:00:20--> 00:00:20

To be

00:00:25--> 00:00:27

with be

00:00:34--> 00:00:36

you.

00:00:39--> 00:00:40

God is on

00:00:42--> 00:00:46

if we stay together,

00:00:47--> 00:00:48

Islam is

00:00:51--> 00:01:03

shala the next lecture will be that document of other women. The real princess hijab and modesty will be given by Lucia Lucia ebenso. inshallah

00:01:04--> 00:01:06

cinema camara de la

00:01:08--> 00:01:30

Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah. Neff Mehta who when Esther Nina who when I stopped when I ought to be low human Shuri and fusina woman say it I'm Melina Mejia the local fellow Moldova woman your little fella howdy Allah. Wanna shadow en la la la la la sharika lah wa shadow Anna Mohammedan.

00:01:32--> 00:01:33

Madden.

00:01:35--> 00:01:43

Yesterday was initially supposed to be my last lecture. But what did he learn back today. And I moved the

00:01:44--> 00:02:01

podium over just for the simple fact that I can't talk to the sisters from way over there. So I'm come over a little bit in Charlotte to Ireland, because this one I am going to address everyone but this one is really focused on my sisters in Islam.

00:02:03--> 00:02:12

And the title or the topic was the adornment of the woman or the real princess or modesty in Islam.

00:02:14--> 00:02:16

And rather than just sit here

00:02:18--> 00:02:35

and give you a conglomerate of information, which most of you probably already have all of the verses where Allah subhana wa ala talks about how the woman is supposed to grow and her modesty and protect her chastity, or the Hadees are also law symbolizing them speaking about modesty.

00:02:37--> 00:02:42

I'm going to try to be more realistic with you. Because a lot of the things that you've heard,

00:02:43--> 00:03:18

I think things if you heard over and over again, but you don't. Sometimes I think that all of us as Muslims, we don't take that information and know how to rationally implement it into our lives. A lot of us may have knowledge about Islam, we may have a lot of knowledge. But then we don't know how to rationally implement those things into our lives. Which that understanding is only a gift from Allah subhana wa tada as autosol subulata seldom said you will no longer be hieron effective within whomever Allah wishes to give good he in blesses them with understanding of Dean.

00:03:20--> 00:03:21

So dear sisters,

00:03:22--> 00:03:23

I'm not here to

00:03:26--> 00:03:28

harass you. I'm not here to

00:03:29--> 00:03:47

jump on you. I'm not here to beat you down. But at the same time, don't think that I'm going to sugarcoat anything because I can't. It's It's not my job. My job is to as a loss of Hannah what Allah says yeah, you Hello, Dina Amnon Docomo haka. Takata will

00:03:48--> 00:03:54

need to fear Allah, as it should be feared and always speak the truth. So I have to say what

00:03:56--> 00:04:14

is correct. And some of it may be a hard pill to swallow. But well, I am not going to just get on to the sisters. It's going to be for the brothers as well because everything has every coin has two sides, so no one's going to get away today. So I'm going to talk to the sisters bit about modesty in general as well.

00:04:16--> 00:04:17

Because

00:04:18--> 00:04:22

it was seldom said that having modesty having higher

00:04:23--> 00:04:35

is the essence of the man. One of the biggest essences of our men is modesty. and higher is means more than being modest and shy.

00:04:37--> 00:04:59

Having a sense of modesty for sisters and brothers is what protects us. One of the orlimar said it is the boundary between the Haram and the halal is the fence that separates between the hot and the halal and let you know when you've gone too far. It lets you know when you are leaving the halal areas and beginning to have

00:05:00--> 00:05:10

The Harlem area is your modesty is that which Allah has already given inside of you. That understanding that conscious that we have when we do something we feel it's wrong.

00:05:11--> 00:05:31

You know how we feel when we go to do something and we know that it's wrong we feel like it's wrong inside of us. But we're still sometimes let ourselves convince ourselves to do it anyway, we'll convince ourself this okay? That is our modesty speaking that is our higher that is our conscious that Allah subhanho wa Taala already put in us.

00:05:33--> 00:05:38

When it comes to the adornment of the woman, I'm going to explain the status

00:05:40--> 00:05:43

of the woman in the eyes of Allah subhana wa Ireland and Islam.

00:05:45--> 00:05:49

And that alone should let us know how important it is to guard that gift.

00:05:51--> 00:05:52

Because Indeed, the woman

00:05:54--> 00:06:00

is a gift that Allah subhana wa, ala initially gave to the first human being

00:06:01--> 00:06:10

Adam, he created Adam, from dust and integrated Eve from his room, as a companion.

00:06:11--> 00:06:12

And

00:06:14--> 00:06:15

without the woman

00:06:18--> 00:06:20

and all of the qualities that she has,

00:06:22--> 00:06:27

we would be in a much more terrible world that we live in. Now.

00:06:29--> 00:06:30

The unfortunate thing

00:06:31--> 00:06:33

is that in the world, we live in today's sisters.

00:06:35--> 00:06:39

In order for a woman to be respected in progress,

00:06:40--> 00:07:06

it's all about what she has to offer to the world. As far as physically, what she has to offer to the world. It's far as what she's able to give of herself, in order to advance in the world. Now, we might like to think that it's not like that, that there is an equality amongst the genders but it's just not the reality of the situation. It's just not the reality of the situation.

00:07:09--> 00:07:10

And I want to ask you a question.

00:07:12--> 00:07:23

Brothers and sisters, just to think about when it comes to why women are commanded by Allah subhana wa Taala to guard their modesty and then we're going to get into some of the details of what it means to guard that modesty.

00:07:24--> 00:07:30

Allah Subhana Allah Allah says in the Quran and Soto nor the verses of hijab, he used the word

00:07:32--> 00:07:48

and for them to guard their modesty coming from the same word as we use for half width, which means someone who guards the Koran, the word half is does not just mean someone who, who memorizes the Quran know a half is is someone who is a guardian of the Quran, they are a protector of the Quran.

00:07:50--> 00:07:59

And Allah subhanho wa Taala tells the woman and the man to guard their modesty to guard that which allows the panel what Allah gives them gave them as an adornment.

00:08:01--> 00:08:02

And I want to ask you a question.

00:08:03--> 00:08:10

How many of you have ever went into a bank and saw the money sitting on the front counter?

00:08:12--> 00:08:29

And they had a note by it saying, just take whatever it is, you know, you have in your account, and write it down? And let us know that you took it? And we'll we'll check on it. We'll keep up with it later. But we trust you. How many of you've ever been in that bank? Where there was money sitting right on the counter? If so, please let me know where that bank is.

00:08:30--> 00:08:30

I'm leaving right now.

00:08:32--> 00:08:36

There's no bank like that. Right? Where is the money?

00:08:37--> 00:08:38

sisters was the money?

00:08:40--> 00:08:44

It's in the bank vault, right? Where's the bank vault? It's usually at the back of the bank.

00:08:45--> 00:08:55

And what is it The Bank Vault, this big, huge steel door that probably weighs 1015 tons. That has four or five locks on it.

00:08:56--> 00:09:01

And then if you even get that safe, door open, guess what's behind that?

00:09:02--> 00:09:49

another door, a cage with bars that you need to get into. And even if you get into that cage, and you go into a bank vault, guess what's in the bank ball, there's walls lined with little boxes that slide up. And you need another key to slide the box out. So if you get into the big door, and then you get through the gate, and then you get to the box and you get into that you slide it out and guess what? There's another little layer on top a little metal flat on top of that, that you need to unlock as well. And only then after you unlock that, can you get to the money. So there are safeguard after safeguard after safeguard after safeguard, keeping the money away. And why do they

00:09:49--> 00:09:49

do that?

00:09:50--> 00:09:52

They do that so you won't steal it right.

00:09:53--> 00:09:56

Not only that, that's not the only reason why they do it.

00:09:58--> 00:09:59

Because if they wanted to they could just

00:10:00--> 00:10:02

do other things to keep you from stealing it.

00:10:03--> 00:10:30

Another reason why they do all of that lavish security is so that you don't even think about stealing it. So that when you go into the bank, you don't even think about taking the money. The only person who robs a bank is a fool. Because you don't get away with it. You do not get away with it's too many security measures in place. And all of those security measures prevent people from even thinking about going in and robbing the bank unless they've lost their minds.

00:10:32--> 00:10:33

You know what?

00:10:34--> 00:10:43

modesty is for the woman in Islam, and for the men, modesty all those safeguards, that the bank has to protect the money.

00:10:45--> 00:10:58

I go with my modesty, not just so that people don't see it. But I also brought my modesty like this so that no one even thinks about it. No one even thinks about harassing me or for the woman. No one even thinks about harassing her.

00:11:00--> 00:11:15

Nobody even thinks about approaching her. And I've even been told Yes, yes, you're right. But there are brothers who will even go in there approach a sister who's wearing a full niqab and try to hit on her. I'm like, okay, but what is he looking at? He might as well go and hit on the brick wall over here.

00:11:16--> 00:11:26

He's not gonna see anything, there's nothing. There's nothing to look at. It's only his imagination. That's making him do that. And you already know them, this brother has an issue.

00:11:27--> 00:11:46

It brings it to the forefront. But the normal average person is not going to do it. Because you've put so many safeguards in place that they won't even think about doing it. This is here. This is modesty. This is how we protect ourselves. because let me tell you, dear sisters, and brothers,

00:11:48--> 00:12:25

what you guard under that hijab in FMR and that Jill ban is more precious than what a bank holds, and it's safe. It's more precious than any gym, that someone would like to hide if I had the most beautiful diamond in the world. If someone had given me the biggest and most beautiful diamond in the world. Do you think I would walk around with my hand all day, and when I go to the gas station to pay for something, I see it on the counter. And when I'm getting gas, I sit on top of the car and I leave it on my front porch when I go inside? Do you think I would do that? No, I'm gonna lock it up tight. I'm gonna lock it up tight and always make sure that nothing happens to it.

00:12:26--> 00:13:08

This is what you are guarding with your modesty is even more precious than that. Because it is a gift that only Allah subhanho wa Taala is given to you. And the beauty of Islam. The beauty of Islam is that in the freedom of Islam, this is what I laugh when I hear non Muslims say that hijab is an oppression. Or they say that the way the women have to cover themselves instead of oppression, I laugh. I just laugh. Because I say no, that naked woman on the Billboard down the street is oppressed. She's oppressed, because every single person are driving on this road already gets to see everything of the beauty that are looking at her with, there's nothing left for me to see. There's

00:13:08--> 00:13:11

nothing else for me to desire, there's nothing left for me to walk through.

00:13:13--> 00:13:14

She's already given it all for free.

00:13:16--> 00:13:37

The real freedom that the sister has an Islam the woman has an Islam is now she has the freedom to choose whom she wishes to give that gift to. She has that freedom to choose whom I give this gift of myself to, and the only one that gets it. And then he has to work for it.

00:13:39--> 00:13:45

Because you got to work for it. You have to be worthy of it. There's a lot of steps you got to go to be worthy of it.

00:13:47--> 00:14:00

So this is the beauty and the freedom of the woman in Islam is when she guards herself and protects her modesty the way Allah subhanho wa Taala has told her to do, she is really free. That is real freedom.

00:14:02--> 00:14:06

For me to walk around dressed like this each and every single day is real freedom for me.

00:14:07--> 00:14:14

Because I don't have to worry about anybody looking at me with ulterior reasons. I'm not saying that I'm old

00:14:15--> 00:14:59

Boston color and stuff like that I work out but when I go in there for just the point is what belongs to me, belongs to me and I choose whom to give it to. And to step off from the sisters. I'll be back to you in a moment. For the brothers, the rules are the same. The rules are the same. If I wanted to go into the rules of covering for the woman, there are about four or five rules. Number one is that anything that you put on cannot show the shape of your body period. Point blank, there is no difference of opinion in the ruling about that. Anything that you put on cannot show the shape of your autobahn and according to most of the scholars

00:15:00--> 00:15:20

The entire woman is her auto. That's it, everything has given you his beautiful sisters. Trust me, everything that Allah has given you is beautiful. And according to the most correct ruling, it is to be guarded. Therefore, if I can see the shape of it, it's not guarded. It's not guarded. Now for the brothers, the ruling is the same.

00:15:21--> 00:15:44

The ruling is the same. Anything that you leave your home with, has to cover your auto without showing it shape. What does that mean? That means those which I don't think any of you brothers have a problem with it. That's I don't think any of your brothers are no, but actually is coming into play. Now. You see, the new trend is going on with the skinny jeans. For men.

00:15:45--> 00:15:47

I don't even want to say what that indicates to me. But

00:15:48--> 00:15:50

you know that new trend the skinny jeans,

00:15:51--> 00:15:54

they're home for Muslim to wear. Why?

00:15:55--> 00:16:10

Because those should they show the shape of your armor. They show the shapers was between your navel and your knees. And I've seen this coming to the masjid, with jeans, or with wooden pants or whatever on so tight that I can tell the change in their pocket.

00:16:11--> 00:16:17

And I wasn't praying in front of me. Because when you go to bend over and you put in all your junk in my face.

00:16:19--> 00:16:32

That's not modesty, that's not permissible in Islam actually, is not correct. It doesn't mean that you just have to have clothes that go they know they can't show the shape of your body either brothers, they can.

00:16:33--> 00:16:47

That's why I choose the easy way. There's no me having to worry wearing this, but the ruling is that you just can't show the shape. Now back to the sisters. Another rule is that it cannot

00:16:48--> 00:16:55

show the color of your skin which can't be loose. And then see through like curtains in the house.

00:16:56--> 00:17:11

When you walk into the sun, and I've seen a lot of sisters do this. They were beautiful. schemata beautiful Japan. And then so same as soon as you walk in front of a light I have to turn my head like oh my god, like an X ray machine.

00:17:12--> 00:17:31

That's not proper, it's not permissible. Same thing for the brothers. You're not supposed to wear anything that shows the color of your skin from your navel and to your knees. It's just the way it is brothers you have to guard that it's not permissible for you to show and for the sisters again.

00:17:32--> 00:17:42

This is for justice sisters. And I know this is gonna be like okay, there's variances about it. But let me tell you that there is no difference of opinion of the scholars about this issue.

00:17:43--> 00:18:05

Perfume for the woman when she leaves her house is not permissible. It's just not for a sister in there are reasons I know sisters like to smell good. I know you like to smell good. I like to smell good. But I know you sisters like to smell good. The only problem is when you go outside of the house smelling good.

00:18:06--> 00:18:18

We men are like foxes drawn to a scent. It's just the way Allah created us. You smell a woman walk by and she smells good. automatically. It's like a reflex Your head is going to go

00:18:20--> 00:18:26

looking for that just happens. You can even be saying although be led while your head is continually turning.

00:18:27--> 00:18:30

It just it's just the way it is. And this is why

00:18:31--> 00:19:10

he was made the commandment to all of his people. in Medina. He said do not let any woman who leaves her home with perfume, come to the masjid and pray with us. Do not let her do not let her come in the masjid. Once Abba hora de La Hoya and was walking by a woman who had perfume on his she said, he said, Where are you going? Now? They're awesome. They say okay, it's not it's just going to the machine. But you have to understand this is 1400 years ago where that was where a lot of the trends the interaction between men and women took place. Everything else was pretty much separated. But now we live in a world where everything's mixed. Abba Herrera, smelt a woman and asked her where you go

00:19:10--> 00:19:16

and she said to the machine, he said no, go home and wash that off because your salon he said I heard

00:19:18--> 00:19:30

that a woman who leaves the home wearing perfume going to the to the master where she can interact with men. Her salon is not permissible until she makes the loosen like she is in the state of gentlemen.

00:19:33--> 00:19:59

So it's just not permissible. I know. I know that Vera Wang princess smells good. Dolce Gabbana, light blue and trust me I know. I know. It smells too good. That's why it's just something that you guard. If you want to smell that good, smell good for your husband. He'll love it. But don't do it to us. It's a fitna for us belay and I'm just being real with you. I'm being as real with you as I can.

00:20:02--> 00:20:23

Now for the men I know that seems like it's a imbalance but this is the way Allah subhanho wa Taala designed it when the man is encouraged to wear perfume because also Salah Salem was assumed that he would wear a lot of perfume. But the perfume for the men is something that should be strong and a manly smell. These brothers walk around well in that role was perfume.

00:20:24--> 00:20:35

And oh, smells good. It gets a little weird in Charlotte. But it's supposed to be something that is that is a manly smell Sharma and also some will send them like good smells, and he said the angels like good smells.

00:20:37--> 00:20:49

So there are things that go back and forth both ways. The rules for modesty are pretty much exactly the same, except for a few minor rulings between the man and the woman. The only difference between us sisters

00:20:51--> 00:20:55

is the way Allah designed you and the way Allah designed us.

00:20:56--> 00:21:07

Allah designed you, dear sisters with an immense amount of beauty, an immense amount of beauty, as bevels there's some beautiful brothers but most of us are pretty scraggly.

00:21:08--> 00:21:22

Unfortunately just where we are we're just scraggly we're hairy we we you know, we got we do weird things we scratch ourselves, we click on those we get we get all kinds of issues. But sisters have been gifted with an immense beauty by Allah subhanho wa Taala.

00:21:24--> 00:22:09

And then he also designed that that beauty that Allah gave you is very attractive to demand. It is very attractive. And it is a great fitness of attractiveness when you don't go there properly. And this is why I sent him he said that I feel for you after me. The greatest fitness that I leave behind me or associate this you can find this in Sahih Bukhari This is authentic hadith. He said the greatest fitna, at least from my alma is the fitna of women. Mr. Greatest fitna Lee from my home was the fitting of women, not because you're bad, and corrupt, and all of that. But because you have the ability to flip us out. You have the ability to drive the man crazy with things that are lost upon

00:22:09--> 00:22:19

what Allah has given you. And that's why Allah has put so many safeguards in place for you to protect it. Now, I want to ask you a question sisters.

00:22:20--> 00:22:31

And I know I'm stepping out on a limb here. I know I'm probably going to get some hate mail behind this, but this is no I'm doing it just because I left you that for the sake of Allah Subhana. Allah, I want to ask you a question.

00:22:32--> 00:22:37

How many of you agree with me that the beauty of the woman is to be covered?

00:22:38--> 00:22:43

How many of you agree with me? That's pretty much all the hands right that your beauty should be coming.

00:22:44--> 00:22:45

Now, hands down.

00:22:48--> 00:22:56

I'm gonna ask the brothers. What do you think is the most beautiful attribute that a woman has? I don't want to hear any vulgar words. I don't want to hear that stuff the rest of the home?

00:22:57--> 00:23:02

Because I'm not talking about a show. No, I'm talking about what is the what do you think is the most desirable feature of a woman?

00:23:05--> 00:23:10

The most honored and blessed part of the human beings face and especially for the woman? Are the human beings body.

00:23:12--> 00:23:12

The face?

00:23:14--> 00:23:15

Correct?

00:23:16--> 00:23:16

Yes or no?

00:23:17--> 00:23:22

Correct. We all know that form and has a beautiful face.

00:23:23--> 00:23:26

She's beautiful. Everything else you can work with.

00:23:28--> 00:23:31

So the assist is the adornment of the body.

00:23:33--> 00:23:46

As according to autosource SLM, the adornment of the body is what the face, the adornment of the body is the face. And for this for the woman, her first point of attractiveness is her face.

00:23:48--> 00:24:24

So I'm not going to tell you what is my opinion, I'm just going to ask you, or the opinion of the majority of the Altima I'm just going to ask you rationally that if you agree with me, that the beauty of the woman should be covered. I'm telling you, from the man's standpoint, that the most beautiful part of the woman is her face. The most beautiful part of the woman is her face, therefore, she should guard it in any way that she can, she should try to get it. I know it may be tough sometimes. And I know some of you may disagree with me. But this is just the reality of the situation is that this is a point of attractiveness. This is the point of attractiveness. So the

00:24:24--> 00:24:24

sisters

00:24:26--> 00:24:32

and I just want you to be safe I want you to protect that gift that Allah subhana wa Taala has given you

00:24:33--> 00:24:34

it's not so

00:24:36--> 00:24:37

respectful and I know there are

00:24:39--> 00:24:44

some sisters who like to run around and there's nothing wrong with being fashionable sisters don't think I'm trying to put you

00:24:45--> 00:24:59

you know in in in straight black a bias all day long. No, no, no anything. That's not what I'm trying to do. There's nothing wrong with fashion. There's nothing wrong with wearing nice clothes and nothing wrong with wearing nice shoes. There's nothing wrong

00:25:00--> 00:25:16

With wearing even expensive shoes if you if you can afford it or if you can make your husband afford it there's nothing wrong with with liking Dolce and Gabbana. There's nothing wrong with liking Jimmy Choo. There's nothing wrong with with liking all of these things. But the simple fact is, you need to ask yourself,

00:25:17--> 00:25:26

Am I truly guarding myself when I leave my home? Am I guarding myself when I leave my home? Am I protecting that gift that Allah Subhana Allah has given me

00:25:29--> 00:25:46

Because you see, sometimes, and I've seen it before, sister leave the house she put on she makes sure the jab is on really nice. She makes sure it's all nice, make sure no hair sticking out. She makes sure he is covered. And then she goes outside and I see her walk in front of me.

00:25:47--> 00:25:51

And she's got on pants and shirt that look like they're painted on.

00:25:52--> 00:26:06

Let me tell you that that's a whole misunderstanding of what hijab even means hijab is not a scarf that you put on your head. hijab is a lifestyle. hijab is a way of life. It's a way of thinking. It's a complete covering.

00:26:09--> 00:26:10

And this is the beauty and I want to give you

00:26:11--> 00:26:14

and then he's my good friend, so I can copy him.

00:26:15--> 00:26:37

There was a lecture that one of my D memes, one of my D memes, one of my very favorite brothers in Islam that I've known for a long time he gave, and he talks about to women. And I'm going to end with this, and then I'm gonna leave some time for questions and answers. He talks about two women who left the house MonaVie

00:26:38--> 00:26:57

she might be Muslim, she might not be Muslim. But she gets ready. And she looks in the mirror. She has a makeup all done. Which is another issue for sisters. There's no problem with wearing makeup when you leave outside of your house, if you cover it up belongs to you and your husband. But don't

00:26:58--> 00:27:36

go out in a way that you know was going to draw attraction to yourself because you're not attracting anything but negativity. But anyway, he said there's a woman who's going to leave a house and she has a makeup all done right. She has on nice clothes, showing off all of the features in a curve, some nice heels to accentuate her legs. All this jewelry, she looks in her mirror to make sure she looks good. Make sure she looks good. When she leaves the house. She looks so good that when she's walking down the street, you can see every single man's head turning right along with it. It's like doing the wave. All you see is one and another another another just following her wherever she goes

00:27:36--> 00:27:37

and she smells good.

00:27:38--> 00:28:09

When she gets on the on the bus, so she gets on the subway. Everybody wants to sit close to her. She just so attractive. She smells so good. And it always because when she stood in the mirror in the morning, she wanted to make sure that she looked good. She wanted to make sure that she looked attractive. She wanted to make sure that she was a walking billboard for how beautiful I am. Look at what I have. Look at what I can do to the world. Look at what I can give to you. This is how she feels when she looks in the mirror. He said then you have another woman

00:28:11--> 00:28:53

who gets up in the morning and puts on her bed or his or her female. She puts on her job the proper way. Maybe she puts on the uniform. He said that she looks in the mirror as well before she leaves the house. But she looks in the mirror for a different reason. She looks in the mirror to make sure that what she's leaving the house with is pleasing to Allah subhanho wa Taala she makes sure that when she looks in the mirror, when she leaves the house, she's not attracting attention to Hey, look at me Look what I have to offer to the world. She's not leaving the house to make herself a walking billboard. For her beauties and, and a gift and loss of Hannah with Allah gave her She looks in the

00:28:53--> 00:28:58

mirror in the morning when she leaves for different reasons. And this is the real beauty

00:28:59--> 00:29:03

of the system. Trust me This is the real beauty of the woman in Islam.

00:29:04--> 00:29:11

And take it from me personally, my opinion might not mean anything to you. But it's my personal opinion

00:29:12--> 00:29:55

that when I see a sister who covers herself properly, and everything is in check, it's beautiful. It's beautiful in a different sense. It's beautiful in a different sense than an attractive sense. It's beautiful in the sense that it makes me feel good about being a Muslim. It makes me feel good about the fact that I know that my sisters in Islam have the freedom to choose whom to give their beauty to home to give their gifts to whom to share that gift that Allah subhanho wa Taala gave to them. They have the freedom to choose. These women running around half naked in the streets don't realize that they're the ones that are really oppressed. They're the ones who are really oppressed.

00:29:55--> 00:29:58

That's why do you think people

00:29:59--> 00:29:59

harass them

00:30:01--> 00:30:13

guys come up behind them and slap them on the behind. guys say all kinds of vulgar things to them, why people even go to the point of attacking the sisters and raping them and all of these types of things.

00:30:14--> 00:30:17

I'm not saying that the woman asked for it, but she's advertising

00:30:18--> 00:30:40

that which Allah has told her to protect, she is giving for free that which Allah has already commanded, that she should make the man work for make him be worthy of a mega brother, if he wants to get married to the sister he should be worthy she but earn it. Because that's a gift that Allah has given you, when he gives you a good one. It's a gift from Allah subhanho wa Taala. Back to the brothers for a moment.

00:30:41--> 00:30:44

And brothers when you ancestors,

00:30:45--> 00:30:46

when you're seeking

00:30:48--> 00:30:51

to find a partner in life, when you want to get married,

00:30:53--> 00:31:05

you should put the parties in check button, and you should put the parties in check system. Doesn't matter how much money he makes, he gotta have some money, you gotta have some money, some bills gotta get paid.

00:31:06--> 00:31:07

But

00:31:08--> 00:31:20

doesn't necessarily have to be adopted as a doctor good. For the for the for the Bible's for the sister, she didn't have to have to come from a rich family, if she does have us are a source of the law, hollywood seldom said that.

00:31:22--> 00:31:35

There are four reasons you can get married. And the best one of those was to marry someone who had been to marry someone who had deemed to marry someone who carried themselves as a Muslim for the brothers and the sisters.

00:31:36--> 00:31:37

because let me tell you,

00:31:39--> 00:31:42

when you have a relationship that is built on

00:31:44--> 00:31:46

D, it won't fall apart.

00:31:49--> 00:32:04

On first, unfortunately, and I know this is a little bit off the subject, but it's important. Unfortunately, a lot of the marriages of the Muslim oma today are ending in divorce. It's going up just like the non Muslims here in America, the divorce rate is what about 50%?

00:32:05--> 00:32:22

Almost half of every marriage ends in divorce one out of every two in the Muslim community, we are almost matching it, if not beating it that almost one out of every two marriages in divorce. Why? Why does it happen like that?

00:32:23--> 00:32:29

This is not the only reason. But let me tell you one of the main reasons I'm going to tell you one of the main reasons

00:32:31--> 00:32:38

it is because a lot of our relationships and marriages start out wrong. How do they start out wrong?

00:32:39--> 00:32:40

The brother and the sister

00:32:42--> 00:32:43

start talking to each other.

00:32:45--> 00:33:00

In private, when they're not supposed to be in the shade time is a third. And then they start getting on Facebook, start chatting, they gotta know about Facebook, I got 5000 friends, I can't even add no more friends know about Facebook, I need like four more accounts.

00:33:01--> 00:33:16

Or you find each other's nerves when you start texting, and start calling each other late at night. And you start hanging out together. And you may even fall in love. You may even fall in love, or what you may think is love and you may be relive you may fall in love.

00:33:18--> 00:33:19

And then you may even get married.

00:33:21--> 00:33:22

But guess what?

00:33:23--> 00:33:29

You've gotten married based on a loan that was based on infatuation. And that was based on

00:33:31--> 00:33:33

feelings that were given to you by who?

00:33:35--> 00:33:46

Who gave you those feelings? shaytaan because would it auto Sue some of them said when a man and a woman are alone that are not married, who's the third party shape on so that love you feel

00:33:47--> 00:33:50

you might feel it. But it's not from a muscle panel with

00:33:51--> 00:33:54

some shape on. So what happens to those marriages,

00:33:55--> 00:34:33

after a few months in maybe even a year in and that infatuation falls away when that initial feeling of love goes away. And then you're just left with each other looking at each other, like what is wrong with you and what is wrong with you. You might not even like each other anymore by that time. Because what happens when shake on with that infatuation between you is that you're blinded to what is wrong with maybe each other, you're blinded to the fact that maybe we aren't even really compatible with each other. You're blind to a lot of things. And then when you get married shaitan is happy to break up marriages. Trust me, well, maybe that's one of his favorite things to shaytaan

00:34:33--> 00:34:56

we'll just remove and step out of the situation. And then now you're left with arguing, you left the fighting. You're left with all kinds of things that lead to somebody giving up. It is the man who gives up and he walks away and leaves the sister hanging or the system just can't take anymore and she leads and then now you have a family broken up. Maybe children that have to be separated. It's a big disease.

00:34:58--> 00:34:59

This all comes from us not

00:35:00--> 00:35:35

Barring ourselves properly, it all comes from part of our modesty and not correcting it. But But on the flip side of that, let's say the brother and the sister get married, for stability, love, just the way it was upon what Allah has made it happen. They know each other, they the brother has approached the wall he, he has given his intentions, he's had a chance to meet the sisty that a chance to see it. He's had a chance to discourse with it. Even on some levels with the wall he present. And they decide that we both have Dean we both level one is messenger. And we both want to seek to please Allah and His Messenger by this marriage, and they get married.

00:35:36--> 00:35:44

then guess what happens? They might not even know each other. The first day in the home, they look at each other like, they're crazy. They don't know. I don't know you and you don't know me.

00:35:46--> 00:36:30

But you know what happens? Allah Subhana Allah says, when you do it like that, that Allah places love and affection. He places love and affection between spouses, and he will make one a covering for the other. He will make the man the covering for the woman and the woman and garment for men. And that type of marriage shaitan can even knock on the door and get inside the house. Because that marriage is blessed by Allah Subhana Allah and that love that you get when you have that. That's real love. That's love that doesn't fade away when bad things happen. That's the type of love that doesn't give up when it gets rough. That's real, sincere love that Allah Subhana Allah gives to a

00:36:30--> 00:36:42

man and a woman when they desire to please Him by their marriage. This is what we need to strive towards brothers sisters, I know it's tempting to get on Facebook and you see this sister online your Santa Monica and sister

00:36:43--> 00:37:22

as fitna already or sisters. Get online Santa Monica. But I have a personal question I want to ask you as fitness. I already know a student I don't know Facebook chat. Don't expect a few my Facebook friend to hardly ever see me on there. If you see somebody on chat knows that if somebody just hacked my account, you're not talking to me. Plenty of people have done that. I'll talk to you on Facebook. No, you didn't, because I don't know Facebook chat. 5000 people on there as fitness. It's a place where there's no supervision. Shaytan has too much play area there. So we have to guard ourselves, but the sisters to the reality of what's going on around us, because we need to be

00:37:22--> 00:37:50

building a strong oma. And you cannot build the oma without building strong families. And you cannot build strong families without building strong relationships. And you cannot build a strong relationship by starting off the wrong way. You can't you cannot start the wrong way. It has to be done right. Everything in Islam has a system behind it. It has steps, it has procedures, it has ways it has to be done.

00:37:51--> 00:38:32

And don't think that you can do it any other way. And there's going to work because your way does not work. Your Way cannot work. The only way that will work is a long way. Such as if you want to really be free, and you really want to please a law, there's only one way to do it. That's the last way. You want to say that I'm modest. And I have respect and dignity. There's only one way to get it. And that's the last way and that you will be truly be free. Who cares what people think? Who cares what people think? How many of you were here at my lecture when I talked about the pursuit of happiness? How many of you were here, when I talked about how to gain a lot of pleasure and gain

00:38:32--> 00:38:38

dignity, who never cease to be pleasing to Allah. Even if people don't like it, they will gain a lot of pleasure in the future.

00:38:39--> 00:38:43

Wow. I think we had a technical malfunction.

00:38:45--> 00:38:46

Let's slide this over.

00:38:47--> 00:38:48

sabotage.

00:38:56--> 00:39:31

That type of when you seek to please Allah Subhana Allah to Allah and Allah gives you the dignity of people. That's the type of dignity that can be taken away from you. And that's a respect me and the brother that brought me here we're talking about on the way over here is that when you seek to please Allah, you get respect. Even if people don't like you. Who cares if people don't like you? I don't care if anyone likes me. If you give me the respect that I deserve as a human being as a Muslim, and as a man, that's all I need. The only people I care about liking me is my family. And if they don't like me, then we got a problem, then you should need to fix some things. But who cares if

00:39:31--> 00:39:39

the people don't like you? If they think you're crazy if they think you got a bag on your head? Who cares? Let them laugh. You know why?

00:39:40--> 00:39:46

You know why we should let them laugh? How many of you've ever heard the the phrase laugh now cry later.

00:39:48--> 00:39:49

Laugh now cry later.

00:39:50--> 00:40:00

That's for them. That's for them. And I even had this not long ago I had a debate with a pastor and a couple of non Muslims and atheists.

00:40:00--> 00:40:00

In New Jersey,

00:40:01--> 00:40:02

and

00:40:03--> 00:40:35

they were talking about why would any one guy jumped up and said, why would anyone want to be a Muslim? Why would anyone want to be a Muslim? You guys have the worst way worse way of life get backwards. Not only that, but nobody likes you guys. Why would I want to enter a way of life? Well, now, every time I go to the airport and be harassed, every time I go to the airport, you're gonna put me in this special line and there is x ray machines and all this and that I might get locked up, I might get this I'm gonna get scrutinized, I might get beat I might get spit it. Why? Why would I do that? Tell me one good reason I can do that.

00:40:37--> 00:40:39

I said, I'm gonna tell you why.

00:40:40--> 00:41:24

And I said, this is for everyone. I'll tell you why. Because maybe you look at us. Now. You might look at the Muslims. Now when they're in the airport, and then this separate line, being harassed. You might see the Muslims being crowded up and thrown into prisons, and into detention facilities, refugee camps, you might see the Muslims getting oppressed all over the world, you might do that. I said, but I swear to you, by the one who created the heavens and the earth, on the day of judgment, you will wish that for five minutes you'd have been in that line in the airport, you will wish in the next life that for one moment, you will have stood in the footsteps of one of those Muslims who

00:41:24--> 00:41:25

have been oppressed.

00:41:26--> 00:41:57

for one moment, you will wish that you were the worst oppressed Muslim and the planet, rather than the situation that will be facing you when you stand before your Creator. So you can laugh at us now. You can make fun of us now all you want. The day the real laughter will come is the day that we enter into Geneva. And we leave you behind. If you want to be serious about it. That's the reality of the matter is the what I have gives me that type of laugh now.

00:41:59--> 00:42:09

Even if I tell you what this man is really about, you're less than me, you want to mock me. Go ahead, I'll actually sit down and let you finish. Because I'm going to have my day.

00:42:10--> 00:42:17

The believers will have our days when they will wish that they were sitting on our side, when they will

00:42:19--> 00:42:38

send me back to the Lord for five minutes. Or be like they are getting that line. I'll let them ask me. I'll let them spit at me. I'll let them snatch my scarf off my head. I'll let them put me in a refugee camp oppress me put me in Guantanamo Bay, they can pull me over, they want to put me as long as I can stand with them today.

00:42:39--> 00:42:41

And the law will say it's too late, you should have done that.

00:42:42--> 00:43:21

You should have done it, then. This is the reality of the situation. But that says this is what you have. This is the gift that Allah has given you. It's not worth anything that anyone else can give you. It's not worth selling your dignity for. It's not worth trying to please and look fashionable and fly. And who cares about that? Who cares about that? The only thing I care about is what side I'm going to be standing on on the Day of Judgment. Let them do what they want to do brothers and sisters, sisters, let them make fun of you. Because I know you stick out more than anybody else. Let them go ahead and make fun of you. When they laugh at you laugh inside, just smile inside, knowing

00:43:21--> 00:44:01

that one day, the only ones that are going to be laughing on the Day of Judgment, the only people that are going to be laughing is going to be the last of the people of gender. That's and that's all that really matters. Everything else is just garbage. They say it's just peanuts. And that's not what we want. We want what Allah Subhana what Allah has prepared for the believers, things that I have never seen or in the ear ever heard, nor has a mind ever imagine. So Allah has given you brothers and especially your sisters, a beautiful gift in the way that he has created you protect it, keep it guarded. Keep it away from these young men. I love your brothers and sisters keep it

00:44:01--> 00:44:31

away from them. They can't handle it. I know they can't. I'm telling you from personally we can't handle it. We can't handle it. So got it and make us work for it. And the brother that works for it and is reasonable for then decide when you want to give it to for the rest of your life. Get married to him and then let your relationship being pleased be pleasing to Allah subhana wa Tada. The only thing that will come out of that is good. And that's what we need from this on my right now. acoustica was struggling the water come through in order for him