Social Media Trap- Dangers and Harms

Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari

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Channel: Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari

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The transcript discusses the impact of major revolutions on society, including the rise of technology and social media, which can lead to problems in family relationships and mental health. Prioritizing technology and social media usage is crucial to avoiding negative consequences and managing time prioritizing social media usage. The speakers emphasize the importance of protecting children from harm and setting boundaries for parents to stay ahead. The challenges of parenting children and the importance of verifying progress are also highlighted.

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We're hungry.

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For salatu salam ala Sayyidina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa Jumari

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file equilibrium integral to the SL, D, billable arlena in Formula One File environment and I was in Ireland

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you can do that you keep a lot of Marina Hopper Hoffman was looking at the VA Baltica about dealing with

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that.

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Especially brothers and sisters for salam alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakato

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hamdulillah it's a privilege and honor to be here at having Foundation, elementary hyrecar Once again,

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I've been here before, three times as far as meaningful, but three I can remember.

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So this might be the fourth and the fifth time, maybe the fifth time.

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But it's been a while since the last time I think I visited. I just was talking to brother Faisal here. And he said it's it's been over two years, because previously I was on the other

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location. So which means that it must be over two years,

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we have a very important topic that I want to discuss. And a lot of these things are actually very important. And I've actually put them into points

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that I want to share with you. I wanted to talk about this.

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In one lecture one program, I've talked about this, these topics of points.

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Separately, but never together. So just today, I thought I'd put these put these points down as a reminder for myself and everyone else in Shanghai, China.

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This whole issue of social media chap, that's the topic heading

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we Subhanallah live,

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we are all we are living in an era in a time that will

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come across two revolutions.

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Normally, people if they saw one revolution in their life, that's something big.

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Majority of us except the very young majority of us, we've experienced two revolutions in our life. What is what's a revolution revolution is like a major change in the world. Two revolutions. The first one is the actual advent of the internet online.

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I'm sure people are old enough to remember the time when we had no internet,

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the 80s and even the 90s. I mean, it started around the 80s. But property daily usage everyday in people's homes. It was probably in the mid 90s. I remember correctly.

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I remember the first time I actually knew what an email was, was in 2002. I made my first email account was studying in Syria. I was studying in Syria in 2002. It's 18 years ago.

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Before that

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we saw is this call home or write a letter. Before that I was studying Pakistan nice to you know, write a letter home. And then my father used to write a letter back

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in Syria. I remember the sister was in the UK, she made an email and then she told me over the phone that we can email. So if there's anything just write sent an email or send an email, and then we'll pass the message on to the rest of the family members. So maybe we should go to an internet cafe and make my first email and this is at what's this x like normally X was

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at four o'clock or at five o'clock. This is the first time using an X something.com.

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So this was the first major revolution in our lives.

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And then the second revolution was the second revolution.

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Social media, no, this is what we've got in our hands.

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Smartphones, Android and iPhones these smartphones, because we have the internet on the computer on the laptop. Now we have the internet on our smartphones, which is basically in our pocket. In our pocket. We have the Quran we have the Sunnah, we have the Hadith, you have history. You have Sierra, we have sort of what are the messenger slogans, you have machine we have a solid we have America, UK politics history.

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geography, biology, nudity, obscene anti porn, everything in one gadget that we hold in our pockets. This is why this is a major, major challenge. People don't talk about this issue. It's a double edged sword.

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No Allah said in the Quran about alcohol. What is Mahoma? Alcohol and gambling?

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We'll see him if one curvier woman half year old in us.

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There is harm and there's a lot of benefits in both even in alcoholism benefit. Alcohol sanitizers.

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There's there's benefit in alcohol as well, there are some benefits. That's why for medic medication use alcohol. It's not absolutely harmful. But Allah said well as a commercial enough, the harm outweighs the relevant. This mobile phone or this smartphones that we have, it's exactly the same. It's called benefit. It's called harm.

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Now, I don't know if I could say that the benefit is more than the harm, or the harm is benefit than more than the benefit. It depends on the individual. What I'm thinking now in the last few years, but I am thinking more to the point that there's more harm in distant benefit.

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There's more harm, and I will mention some of the points that we need to really think about and that's why each individual, we must think to ourselves, especially with our family members, with our children and people in our family. That is it more harmful for me to use the smartphone. And when I say smartphone, social media, there's Facebook, there's Twitter, there's Instagram, there's Snapchat, there's even YouTube and WhatsApp. All of this included.

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Is it more harmful for me and my family? Or is it more beneficial?

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If I feel that it is more harmful for me that it is sinful for me to

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own a smartphone,

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I need to abandon it. I need to just use this normal Nokia phone that we used to use. People still use. I know two people I don't have too much like French I would love to I don't interact with too many people. But still I know two people there's one students and our mothers and Lester, I was teasing. He's still trying to download other other week. Like small luck, your phone, just phone and text messages still until

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and I know a brother who is actually a doctor he lives

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but as a career raises burners who lives in Manchester, until now he doesn't use a smartphone. He's a doctor GP, practicing GP doctor. If I need to go online, he says I'll go a night on the computer and online if I need to do something but I don't need know what's up on my phone. So this is an issue that we really need to think about this ourselves. Is it more beneficial or more harmful for

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now in audit, and because you know if something? Look, there's another benefit. Like I said it's a double edged sword. There is a lot of benefit. But the principle of Sharia, which is based on the textbook of Quran and Sunnah is that the front

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door or the front door? Oh lamb in Germany masala

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repelling harm, death Ondara Oh ALLAH is more important is given great significance is given preference over genuine Musleh

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acquiring benefit. So there is something in which there's benefit, but then there's more harm anyway. Now we need to look at it. Is it harmful for us or not? There's a few points and I've put them into like six points. I don't know if I can call these six points. But

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point number one and I want everyone to take these points into consideration and reflect upon them

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and think about them and ponder over them.

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The first point is that one of the greatest issues relating to social media specifically and generally being online, but social media specifically

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is the issue of addiction.

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There's a massive issue with people being addicted with social media.

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It's great drug. It's like a drug. You know the dopamine in it. People sometimes start going online, and especially social media. They'll be there until 2am 3am 4am the night goes. People are deprived from Sleep, sleep deprivation. They're not able to work productively during the day because they were on the phone. I just I was just hearing the radio on in the car while somebody was saying that.

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They were talking about Coronavirus

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And there was somebody who said that look, you need to just be normal. You know all the normal good things you need to do in your life do them eat. Well, healthy diet, healthy eating sleep well, which means charge your phone in another room.

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I just heard that now, do not have your phone in the bedroom

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while sleeping because people were sleeping nobody there. And then before you know it, it's midnight and 1am and 2am. So this addiction is a big problem. How many hours do we and our children spend on social media on WhatsApp just scrolling down message after message after message, much of it is junk.

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Families don't talk to one another. We're sitting at home. Everyone's on the phone. The the young son is on the phone, the daughters on the phone, the wife's on her phone, the husband on our phone, everyone's on the phone. This actually creates problems within family relationships.

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Marriages actually break down you know, I've got another talk, where I've talked about reasons for divorce, why the separation and divorce occurs. And one of the reasons is extreme addiction will perform

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extreme addiction marriages break down. This is why I personally suggest that every household should have a gadget free tech free zone.

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Two hours and the first person to have the phone should be the two people parents before telling our children we need to show them phone is off, not silent off, put over everyone's phone on top somewhere of every gadget laptop computer, iPads phones, everything should be completely switched off. Because they live still survive Don't worry. It's not it's not you know, fatal

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maybe just if you have a landline phone just keep that on. So if somebody wants to call for some reason, and they can call like we used to in the olden days, just completely one and a half, two hours they shouldn't be technology Feasel

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talk to one another. If not read a book do something.

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Use the brain sometimes Allah has given us brain while we're thinking what people want us to drink about.

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Sometimes contemplation let our own minds think about things. Whilst on the phone we are forced to read about things and think about things that people have forced us to think about.

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So

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this addiction, constant chatting spending on WhatsApp, constant chatting, and men women, sometimes you just need two three hours of chatting a Santa Monica welcome Sam how are you? Good and hamdulillah what's happening? I think God wasn't watching this while you're cooking Viviani How was the video Annie? Okay, it's good Have you put something in it this it starts three hours of conversation

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if we took all of that three hour of conversation

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print it out on a you know just print it out on paper and pick the phone up

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and talk to someone you finish that in 20 minutes that three hour of back and forth conversation if you speak on the phone you need to speak to people pick the phone up sorry come out in the meantime it's good conversation from the library now. Sometimes these WhatsApp messages they just continue groups people are creating groups for no reason.

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No reason whatsoever absolute wastage of time. This addiction is also going against the Islamic principle of preserving one's time

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constant chatting chatting sometimes. Like there's groups and someone's phone beeps beep So can see you at five o'clock

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the person telling I'll see whoever the other person I see you at five o'clock. It's not used. There's two people talking I remember when somebody's phone in the family beep see a farmer progress and were you going to tell him he's telling someone else? So why do you need to know among the groups Why are you why if the group is something where someone puts a message that is that is relevant for every single person at every single message will be relevant.

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I'll see you at five o'clock is not relevant for you at all. So why are you in Law Group

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wastage of time every time you have to think look okay, we who's talking what they say. So this goes against the basic principle of preserving time and we know the Quran and Sunnah is filled I don't have time to go into all the IATA my time and value of time when isolation external if you force Allah subhanaw taala took an oath by time will Latina who only lonely more elude this is all love a few times. I think I gave a talk here

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Engaging in future activities.

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So we need to really think are we addicted.

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And one thing I will recommend here is that we should

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manage our usage of social media. So set a time.

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Even online, but social media specifically set ourselves a time, I will use

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one hour of my day for social media, which includes WhatsApp, Facebook, Twitter, or whatever, one hour. Think beforehand how long and what you want to do.

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Beforehand, we need to think how long you know, when you plan a journey, we think beforehand, how long it will take us and where I want to go. You don't go in and sit down with an engineer on stop thinking now, what should I quit when I go?

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So we go on, and then we think, what should I do? beforehand. This is why the people who are very particular about their time, what they do is, they will have a fixed time every day, half an hour is my time where I reply to all the text messages and older WhatsApp messages, the great scholars do that they'll have like half an hour in a day or half an hour in two days. So exactly at that time, they'll go through everything what's important, fixed time.

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So this is

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one of the tips that we need to use

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managed time fixed time and, you know, know what we're going to do.

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So addiction is a massive problem. To the point and last issue with this first point is that sometimes we are working in the workplace, we are using the internet, we are looking at our messages. This is a question. From an Islamic point of view, I actually have a whole article which I've written a fatwa, and it's on mine, using surfing the internet during work hours. Is it halal or haram? If our job is just to sit in a place, just be there, like your job under a cordless cord assistant, or you know, someone who's just sitting in the office and you just have to pick the phones up, then it's fine. Because when the phone someone rings cold, you can the phone, you just

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have to sit there. So if if you're not doing anything else, at that time, you can surf the net. But if you have to actively do some work, and we're not doing that, and we're serving the net, and we don't have permission from our manager or boss, when it is actually haram. Basically, we will have to monthly give back from our main wages, the time you've used the minute, the basic rule of Sharia

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because they are paying us for the work we need to do and if we've spent so we should think half an hour of this month, I've probably reply to messages are great scholars used to be very particular about that. He used to monthly give back these are scholars you to teach in in the subcontinent and other places. Give back some of the salary every month, maybe somebody came to talk to me, which was not relevant to my teaching.

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So I spoke to someone in my time where I was supposed to be doing something else every month needs to return some wages back. So this has been cautious about time at work as well.

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So this was the first point

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we need to think about, are we really getting addicted or not. And if there is an addiction, then it's a problem. And we need to ensure that we don't get addicted to this

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usage of social media. Number two second point, like I said, I've got about five six points.

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It's a common issue and problem and everyone knows about this is protection of the hills.

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There was a time where anyone if somebody who wanted to see obscene images, haram images, nudity,

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they would have to go out of their way to do it.

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They would have to hide and do it. They would have to go somewhere hidden places to buy some video or CD or something to see nudity. Now at the click of a button whether you want to see it or not. Even YouTube, it's just full.

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Sometimes you're typing something in Google and by mistake you type something else and then the else comes up images,

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nudity, seeing haram

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and we know this is a massive sin of the eye. Allah subhanaw taala says hola Marina your whole domain of Saudi him palummo minute you have a little bit I mean of Saudi. We're following a photo Jonah casting lustful gazes looking at the hour of the body parts of another member of the opposite gender and last fully looking at

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nudity is a major haram. It takes away the bottle coffee of Iman and the spirituality and the light it brings darkness into the heart. It brings darkness in our activities. This is a major major haram.

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Allah says colorful, maroon Lavina Humphrey Salatin has shown that look the same idea. The first point was from the Latina who Manila we want to do

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those who stay away from future activities. And then Allah said well Alina Manila we want to do Lavina homeless Saturday for those who gives a cut well Latina whom LIFO rugi him half elude, those who protect their private parts Illa Allah as well as you him all my medical team and who find them later when you mean.

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This indicates because once the eye is accustomed to gets benefit and pleasure from obscene things, then it results in Haram things. So that's why the Zina of the i i Shouldn't the messages of Allah Allah, Rita Buhari, he said Xena AMI, another.

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The Zina of the eye is to look at obscene images was Xin

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Yachty and Bosch, Xena of the hand is to touch was in an ozone alley CMR and Zeno of equal Xena have the ears to hear to obscene things.

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Will Mozilla

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clindamycin machine and the zit on the feet is to walk towards that Hara. Well, if I were to use a depo you can remove and then the private parts actually at the end we'll finish up the task for may not finish up the task. That's a simple translation is a different role you can do so people some people might just restricted the eyes enough but then they will not go all the way and for some others it will lead them to go for the full Xena. So this is really really important. This is why some of the scholars have said that if we don't feel that we can protect our eyes then it is sinful to own a phone, a smartphone. One of my teachers Chefman photographers manual for the hola he says

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this quite a bit. That if it's differs from individual to individual if an individual thinks that I can't trust myself, Allah says Allah takanobu zina don't even get close to Zina.

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The classical scholars that derive the routing animal for Soluna number hydrophone that were at UCLA was zero means that anything that leads a person to Zina, you have to drop the means to the Haram Santos area, we have a principal issue here, blocking the means to an evil. So whatever that means is that what Allah Allah said, what I took from Xena, Xena is here, then you stay far away, far away.

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So this could lead to the zenith I an actual Zina. And therefore if someone can't control themselves, they don't have they don't feel confident about themselves

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from looking at images, which they should not be looking at, then we should avoid using social media online. Anyway, that's point 2.33. Next few points are really important

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is that, especially with social media,

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people start developing these virtual relationships.

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Virtual relationships, you know what this means? I mean, I've looked at these things before as well. I've talked about these issues and studied these issues quite quite detail.

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Virtual relationships, we are now seeing young people who are growing up not having the attributes or the qualities, or basically we're seeing young people now growing, growing up not having the confidence to talk

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in person with people skills, but the skills to have a

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real in life relationship

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has become timid because they've grown old from 15 1617 Having these virtual relationships. It's a big issue, social media on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, because people chat, chat, chat talk and they start building this virtual relationship. There are people who develop friendships from different parts of the world. There's people who've become husband wives, virtually. People have become boyfriend, girlfriends, virtually people, they cuddle virtually they sleep virtually, they eat virtually.

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I don't even know all of this is people live a life in a virtual dream world.

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They will send you know emojis virtually. So when they see an emoji that's more attractive to them than the real smile of a person. The fourth point is actually connected.

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The other day I went on to Google, just social media causes

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just to see depression, anxiety, stress, mental health. And it is not just Google, but it's really many articles have been written on this topic. Social media causes all of these problems and worse, loneliness. sleeplessness, as I said, Because of addiction, but causes mental health issues. You know, one of the biggest problems right now one of more than Coronavirus button sisters.

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An epidemic or pandemic, whatever you want to call it is mental health issues, for the last many years

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already deliver talks on mental health issues. Previously, I remember once I went to Dublin, two years ago,

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at the university, the Royal College of Surgeons still students from all over the world, but a lot of them come from different countries. And they wanted me to deliver a lecture on Islam and mental health. And the reason was, they said on campus here, the university we have a massive issue. So many Muslim brothers and sisters, they feel depressed.

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These are people like 2122 23, depression, the rate of depression and anxiety within people. It's huge. There's many reasons for that. And then even after the talk, I mentioned a lot of points. And after the talk, a lot of people came and you know, talking one to one asking different issues and someone's got this issue or that issue. And I really think this is one of the most common illnesses that we find. Mental health is a big issue. One of the main reasons for mental health is the usage of the internet and social media specifically. Because I mentioned the third point, because you've become mind in your life has become virtual. So it's all in the mind. And then when we are on social

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media, people are comparing lives.

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images, pictures, videos.

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Why isn't my life like that person's life? That's why it's not good to upload pictures of you, your family, the food? Why do people have obsession with uploading pictures of food? I seriously don't understand that. A small baby a child is born before you know even Alana EComm is given in the ear the on social media.

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Last accommodate Sundays earn your karma bathe the baby, you know, like coming to the world before even that snap selfie?

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Actually, it's a question if that's even allowed or not, I'm not saying it's not on? Oh, it is. I don't know. You need to ask and look into this issue to take a picture of someone without their permission and they can't give permission because they're not invited. But do they really want to be in front of the whole world?

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You know, few hours a month, baby few hours old baby young children their pictures, I don't know if it's allowed.

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Because they don't they do not have the capacity to give permission. So all these pictures people are comparing lives they'll see, you know, a couple eating you know, me and my wife, we went and you know, we're having a real nice meal and everyone say Oh, mashallah, Oh, amazing. Such a cute couple everyone. And then someone's got jealousy and someone's got. And then, but they're putting that picture after that they went home and they had a big fight and the husband punched the wife. They didn't put that picture up. Nobody knows.

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Nobody knows what's going on. Everyone's life is different.

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never it never come to know guys.

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Never compare our life with anyone else's life. Never compare your marriage to anyone else's marriage. Never compare your house to anyone else's house. Do not compare your wife to anyone else's wife. Do not compare your husband to anyone else's a husband and never compare your children to anyone else's children. Every human, every child, every husband, every wife is different.

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Allah has made us want to differently in democracy, Yusra, at the end of the day, this is a Taksim of Allah, in some areas, you have good some areas, you have difficulty in those areas. They have difficulty it's in Taksim, okay. So this causes mental health issues because people are just tape talking about and taking snaps off only the good bits of their life and not the negative bits. So you think that, you know, then the wife comes to the husband says, look, look and my friend has nothing to hide. You never take me to holiday. But what happened you know, in Dubai that is, you know, big problem and then after that he hasn't taken off for five years.

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So these issues comparing lives with people, you know,

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This is taken from the Hadith the Messenger of Allah what He said and said in a hadith, since a Muslim but overall the love and relates

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the messenger SallAllahu sallam said,

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he said,

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although in our men who are a sodomy

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in the world, look at people who are below you, when done, do 11 who have overcome those who have been given more wealth etc. Don't look at their lives

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for who urged them, and that is the winner Matoba

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you will more likely be thankful and grateful for my local people below you in life. Look at people who have not been given

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the wealth or the health or the neshamah and the bounties. Well, this homeless people sometimes go with the children and just go and talk and sit down with homeless people just walk past and you see homeless people if you've got young children, take them there. I've done that in my children and you know, once or twice, sit down and say, Look, sleeping on the floor and that's it. What, what did they do? They took risk. So sitting with

00:31:07--> 00:31:43

home homeless people thinking about people in the prisons, people, this is what makes us thankful to Allah subhanaw taala. So remember what my son once asked. We went and sat with a homeless person just outside. And in the middle of the night, it was raining one of the nights. So he started thinking he asked me said, you know that person, that old man we saw, is he still sleeping there? Were you when you met him? I said yes, he's still sleeping, but he was somewhere in the streets. This makes us thankful to Allah subhanaw taala This is a Hadith in Sahih Muslim. And actually there's another another Hadith in the same chapter so he wasn't where the messenger SallAllahu

00:31:43--> 00:31:44

Sallam sees that.

00:31:46--> 00:31:47

He says that

00:31:49--> 00:31:50

because in the first heavy, he said,

00:31:52--> 00:31:55

look at people below you do not look at people above you.

00:31:56--> 00:32:00

But sometimes it's not possible. We just without us wanting to.

00:32:01--> 00:32:08

Without us wanting to look at people above us. They just come in front of us. Suddenly, we're just driving and you see a Ferrari,

00:32:09--> 00:32:10

Porsche.

00:32:12--> 00:32:29

We didn't go to look at them. We didn't go to go and see who's got a Ferrari. And then you know, just keep on being sad about it. The Ferrari came to us. So the next Howdy, the messiness of Allah or Islam in such a Muslim. He said, If you happen to see someone

00:32:32--> 00:32:38

if you happen to see someone who has been given more women, for better earning even money will help.

00:32:39--> 00:32:52

If you happen to see someone who's been blessed more than you involve and in health, fall younger, then go and seek out straightaway go and look at someone else whom you've been blessed over.

00:32:54--> 00:33:23

For a younger element who asked for element, this is instantly Muslim. So this is why social media and online it makes us ungrateful to Allah because we are comparing our lives we are comparing that in the lives of other people. We are comparing our marriages and with the marriages of other people. We are looking at look happiness is the topic and so on but happiness and tranquility and peace is not in what we have materialistically

00:33:24--> 00:33:38

I'll end with this point with this. There's two things one is Raha Ababa Raha Raha means happiness peace, comfort, comfort, allow the degree learn ultimately Nakuru tranquility, this is Russia.

00:33:39--> 00:33:44

Allah subhanaw taala has made certain us verbal Raha means of happiness

00:33:45--> 00:34:16

means so if you have money, it's a means of a bit of fun quality and comfortable life. If you have family you have health these are means but these are two separate things. You might have the means but not tranquility and happiness. You might have the means but not you might have means and the tranquility, you might have both, or you might have the means not tranquility, or you might have tranquility, another means three situations. You could have both or four situations you could not have none of them.

00:34:17--> 00:34:34

How many situations are we understanding this? You have the means of happiness and happiness? Okay, you have the means of happiness but no happiness. You don't have the means of happiness, but you have happiness. And the worst is you don't have the means of happiness and either happiness

00:34:35--> 00:34:38

for her the solo larva for situations.

00:34:40--> 00:34:42

You know, once we were I was in Denmark.

00:34:44--> 00:34:59

The brothers one was eating and one brother said that there's a survey that's been published that the happiest people in the whole of Europe live in Denmark is the happiest people live in Denmark. This is a survey research I didn't send

00:35:00--> 00:35:03

The people are very happy and people are very

00:35:04--> 00:35:07

tranquil and prosperous, etc.

00:35:08--> 00:35:19

And as the brothers in the same at the same time, what's your eating is? This actually I just read another report that the rate of suicide risk is in Denmark and Norway, the most suicide is in those countries.

00:35:22--> 00:35:29

So, one second happiest people and then suicide. This was many years ago, I was there with one of my team teachers.

00:35:30--> 00:36:04

with Allah, he was there as well. So you're telling him and all of us, so I asked him, I said, Do you think that there's some explanation for this? What do you think? So he said, could be you know, I don't know. But if both reports and surveys are correct, then what comes to mind Allah annum is that one report is talking about the means of happiness. And one survey is talking about actual happiness. When there was a report saying that the people in Denmark and Scandinavia, whatever are the most happy and prosperous, they looked at jobs, cars, houses, properties, they looked at all of that.

00:36:05--> 00:36:19

And the suicide one is telling you real happiness, that people are not happy. So they've got all the cars and everything, but they're not happy, they're still committing suicide, they're still getting depressed, and anxiety, and stress and all these issues.

00:36:20--> 00:36:22

So this is really, really important.

00:36:23--> 00:36:35

Point number four, that social media has a direct impact on our mental health. Especially you know how women, it's so difficult for them, people have body image issues.

00:36:36--> 00:36:58

Society, media, generally, and social media specifically has put so much pressure, you have to look this way your eye has to be that way, your nose has to be three inches, this way, your lip has to be that way your, your body has to be this way, you have to be this skinny, or this slim, or this figure or this size.

00:36:59--> 00:37:02

This is all artificial, that's not real beauty.

00:37:04--> 00:37:10

And men make it difficult for them as well. Because they're looking at other things, and they want their wives to be like that as well.

00:37:12--> 00:37:23

Real Beauty is in the soul of the person, how they talk, how they converse, how they are as a human being, that's the real beauty. Not,

00:37:24--> 00:38:04

you know, when you get older, your wife will have wrinkles, and your husband will have wrinkles as well. And we're going to think about people that are old. The real beauty is that that's why in marriage, we need to attract ourselves to the real beauty of our spouses. If we do that, we'll still be in love when were 75 and 80, and 90. But if we attract ourselves to the external beauty, then the love will go away because you're not really attracted to the being of the person, the soul, the character of your spouse. So a lot of the women have these body image issues comparing you know, they don't look at it this way. And that's why there's so much pressure on selfies.

00:38:05--> 00:38:11

And you know, the selfie is, it's crazy. I didn't know about this. But then I found out that there's all this

00:38:12--> 00:38:20

feature filter. Filters, like this is why I want to look like so I'm not happy. So many filters that those the

00:38:22--> 00:38:29

the light of the color of the picture. I don't know what the filters are, but so this is like, I wish I looked like this.

00:38:30--> 00:38:51

So I can't, I'm not a happy how I look in real life. But I'm just living in this imaginary world. Again, back to the same point, the second or the third one. virtual life virtual relationship, virtual image. It's just a crazy place to be in. Okay, point number five that was for

00:38:54--> 00:39:17

this is a really important point. One of the most important aspects of our deen that we will be questioned about on Yamo criado is the issue of how we use our tongue. We all know Sins of the tongue. The Koran says myofilament bolding the letter daily ropey when it every letter Minko literary every statement, every word that we accept that

00:39:18--> 00:39:26

there's angels recording it, they are recorded we will be questionable on your piano regarding everything we say

00:39:27--> 00:39:28

this

00:39:30--> 00:39:39

and there's lots of verses of the Quran and many of us don't need to go into them. But remember, this statement is not just a verbal statement.

00:39:40--> 00:39:51

This is not just referring to what we say. Moment Buhari says in the last chapter of you know the Sahara Buhari Baba Ali later on was you know, missed the Omen term or

00:39:52--> 00:39:59

any other will call on Tuesday and just like our actions will be weighed on your piano our speech will be weighed as well.

00:40:00--> 00:40:35

We'll be questioned about speech on the denominator Hola, hola. Hola. Hola, golance and either every home. Now this code, this statement is not just what we say it's even when we write. And actually writing is more dangerous because when we say something, we said it, it's gone. Disappeared. It's gone it, but you can't keep on hearing it. You swear that someone said harangue verbally, but it is I mean, you're still sweating, sweating, sweating, sweating, sweating, sweating, sweating, when you write that sweat, until that thing is written and remains written, the scene continues.

00:40:37--> 00:40:54

If it's something good, the opposite is also true. You write something good, until that's written there's a hadith of the messenger salAllahu alayhi salam mentioned that whoever sends blessings only in writing and not to show off the authenticity of the chain but it's mentioned in the bible since Okay.

00:40:55--> 00:40:58

it in a book wherever sends blessings on me in a book.

00:40:59--> 00:41:05

Allah's mercy will be on that person continuously mirdamad Mokuba as long as it's written.

00:41:06--> 00:41:13

That's why when we write we should write some Allahu alayhi wa sallam fully not SJW like so what?

00:41:15--> 00:41:23

It doesn't matter take time out. For right the translation May the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him. How long does it take?

00:41:25--> 00:41:56

Right the full. I've never used this as a W S. Right? Allah subhanho wa Taala right it fully, even As salam o alaikum we should try to write it fully. A Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato. Every word we're writing very received, that's a positive way of using using WhatsApp and you know, text messaging, wherever every time you write the Salam o alaikum, Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh so much reward because it's written it says that, that's the positive usage.

00:41:57--> 00:42:14

So write it fully before I used to copy and paste in organizer write articles and boxes. So every time you know, because in one paragraph, you mentioning the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam three four times. So I've got love may Allah bless him and grant him peace, paste, you know, copy and paste.

00:42:16--> 00:42:44

But then I realized that I had someone one of the who has more than that how much reward you get, etc, for looking at every time I just type it now. It takes a bit longer, but I will copy and paste it, even if it's in the same paragraph, or the Allahu Allah, may Allah be pleased with him while hugging me Allah have mercy on him. So every time the full typing, that's a positive way you take a bit of time, but this is a way of receiving reward for something that's written. So

00:42:45--> 00:43:01

we will be questioned about what we write a massive issue on social media. The biggest problem is people swear slander us obscene language, hurt people's feelings

00:43:02--> 00:43:04

more than they do in real life.

00:43:07--> 00:43:16

You know, basically, you know, what social media and online is what we used to think once in the olden days when we used to think

00:43:17--> 00:43:28

we now right, listen to this cliff in the 1980s and the 1990s If you were alive, what used to think so you're standing in a queue

00:43:30--> 00:43:31

and somebody's came and pushed in

00:43:33--> 00:43:39

your mind is thinking what kind of you know you swore in the mind but you never said it

00:43:40--> 00:43:40

control

00:43:41--> 00:43:50

someone you are driving and somebody drove in a real you know, bad way and you know, nearly had an accident or overtook you and it was driving more carefully.

00:43:51--> 00:43:54

You might swim because you buy stuff in the car. But a

00:43:55--> 00:43:58

lot of the things we used to think

00:43:59--> 00:44:05

now because you're sitting you're with people but you're not with people it's a weird world during

00:44:06--> 00:44:41

you're virtually with people but you're not physically with people. So people now when because if you said that to someone on the face, you got a punch to be consequences. Here there's no one your house you do close the phone. Still in the room yet. There's always the brother here No, people will swear slander. They'll just pull you know gossip and garbage. Even in Islamic discussions, swearing slandering the shareholders and this group is not one this and every letter we will be every word will be questioned about and

00:44:44--> 00:44:59

one of the scholars used to say that before any letter word statement sentence you say with your mouth or you write, think to yourself, but I will have to prove this on your will piano in the court of Allah

00:45:01--> 00:45:03

Oh, you may have to prove it in this world.

00:45:05--> 00:45:13

Do I have the evidence what I said, we're able to prove this. This is why you want to share it with your loved one who, when someone needs to come and speak to him, he's to look down

00:45:15--> 00:45:26

and then respond after a while somebody asked him Shafi Why do you do that? He said had alpha male hydrophillic Konami OfficeSuite I contemplate and think Is it better for me to talk and respond to is better for me to stay quiet?

00:45:28--> 00:45:32

So all the sins of the tongue lying in here no swearing slandering.

00:45:35--> 00:45:47

And it's easier when people make anonymous accounts this is not when the wider even within the normal slips. Some people have multiple Facebook accounts multiple Twitter accounts, multiple accounts with fake names

00:45:49--> 00:46:00

they call this trolley trolley troll someone committed suicide or something there was a woman or somewhere I heard in the news that's just one or somebody else I read that he committed suicide because why

00:46:02--> 00:46:17

people are racist online there was a whole discussion once that there's racism I said I was thinking to myself and I was such as some of the students that this because people have internally they always racist

00:46:19--> 00:46:31

but these are just think about it in when there was no online the racism was in the mind. He looked at someone even the best person will try to just pretend not to be racist

00:46:32--> 00:46:39

still in the mind is racist. Now when you have a phone and no one knows who you are, then you will write it.

00:46:40--> 00:46:45

So people swear slander things, so many different things online which

00:46:46--> 00:46:49

are very, very difficult, very problematic.

00:46:51--> 00:46:53

So these are all sins of the Tunc

00:46:54--> 00:47:13

point five sins of the tongue and never really coming to an end or another major issue to deal with sins of the time still point five. Okay, so we mentioned point five A slandering swearing you know, hurting people's feelings, saying bad things about them fighting arguing.

00:47:14--> 00:47:19

But there's one big issue in social media in terms of a single sin of the tongue.

00:47:20--> 00:47:27

Messenger SallAllahu sallam said in one Hadith Gotha been Margie Caliban, a you had difficulty Colima Samia

00:47:30--> 00:47:44

Katha will not equal ribbon. Then you had data between Lima Samia, it is enough for a person to be called a liar, that he relates everything that he or she needs

00:47:47--> 00:48:02

any news we hear, we forwarded on the messenger Allah it was sent to me saying that basically you will hear truth and falsehood but your habit is to just put everything forward everything forward. This is a big issue WhatsApp Forward, forward forward.

00:48:03--> 00:48:17

You will be considered You are a liar. Basically it's a sin of lying in forwarding everything without verification. There's another Hadith Bitsa and Mateja.

00:48:20--> 00:48:57

Messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he said best bait so multiyear to Rachel's Xang the worst. Like thing up for multiyear means like my coop, like your thing that you have to take a journey on. But what the messenger SallAllahu Sallam is trying to refer to these that some people rely on. The worst thing people rely on is they say XAML people have said, so people they don't want to lie, but they think okay, let me just say people are saying people are saying so I've taken the responsibility. This is backdoor line. They think that you know, if I just put it on the shoulder of someone else, people have said that such and such person committed fraud.

00:48:58--> 00:49:40

People talk about the whole world he committed fraud and he was cheating and he was deceiving. And this person did this and this person did that on your own AR when that person comes to us and says to Allah, he called me a fraud and he said I cheated. And I you know, eight money up from the company or whatever. He this is what we do. We will have to bring evidence on your piano to prove in the court of Allah. The excuse that Oh, I heard someone sent it to me on WhatsApp, so I just said no, it's my responsibility. Quran says in general Converse on betta infertile the young. One of the greatest responsibilities of a Muslim is whenever we find news, we have to verify the authenticity.

00:49:41--> 00:49:59

That's why honestly I urge when we receive all these messages on WhatsApp. Do not follow the money until you do your research. You know people everything about even these viruses and about someone puts a video and it just goes viral and Oh, there's one person in Kaabah there's no one there and everyone's

00:50:00--> 00:50:02

majority of the time it's all falsehood.

00:50:03--> 00:50:11

Forwarding these things on sometimes we do it in the right spirit because we think Islamic instead of haram, we are committing the sin of life. We are lying,

00:50:13--> 00:50:15

spreading rumors.

00:50:17--> 00:50:19

The Quran also mentioned about this

00:50:21--> 00:50:27

last part of dialysis with a jam Omro minute Omni I will hope the other Ruby

00:50:29--> 00:50:33

whatever a doula Massoud where he that wouldn't normally be normally it is comforting to know

00:50:34--> 00:50:41

that you know you know what used to happen in the time of the messenger so a lot when you send them to wish you can have mocha reused to try to scare monger

00:50:42--> 00:50:52

the enemies of Islam is to try to scare monger so we used to call them QR codes the simple Muslims and tell them the you know your enemies to go for Bucha key they've got so much

00:50:53--> 00:51:34

energy and power and might and they've got this and they've got this many souls and this much some simple ways to get scale so these to go into another one to call this so suddenly one to another to another room as you spread I'm not sure how to reveal this verse. Whether Jerome Amina Amina when something about a month a piece or a will hope or fear comes to them aloud at our OB they just start spreading it don't spread it over says you don't want your responsibility in this situation is we're not gonna do who you love or sooner you're holding on No, go and get it checked by the messenger Salallahu Alaihe Salam was your leader or people who didn't honor other companions who are close to

00:51:34--> 00:51:46

him. If someone receives a news the basic messages go to the people expert someone sends you something medicine eat this and this will happen I'll check with a professional doctor not Google dot

00:51:48--> 00:51:49

don't forward

00:51:50--> 00:51:54

on YouTube people everyone likes to make money. This is already making industry

00:51:55--> 00:51:58

I personally dislike I don't know if you guys do that if you do

00:52:00--> 00:52:19

forgiveness, to have adverts on YouTube videos completely dislike it I'm not saying it's haram especially Islamic videos, people making money out of Islam. You want to go and listen to a Quran machine or lecture and the lecture the chef was talking and saying yeah, you will love the

00:52:21--> 00:52:28

music comes up straight away like what's going on? Halfway through the surah I have the Quran is a half naked woman dancing.

00:52:29--> 00:52:36

This is one brother sent to me I went online to listen to a lecture about Hello income and suddenly the ad came out about gambling

00:52:39--> 00:52:40

the brother told me this

00:52:41--> 00:53:06

you know we have Islamically those people who have Islamic channels it's basically you have a right you don't have to have ads. I'm sure you don't have to have ads we don't have a direct channel. You don't have to if you want to make money then yes. So people use Islam you know get clips on famous scholars etc make a channel and then make fancy titles and then put an ad so they want to make money if you want to make money make it in a long way in a good way.

00:53:09--> 00:53:31

This online YouTube adverts specially in Islamic channels I think the money you're making if you're if the adverts consist of gambling or obscene images, or advertising alcohol or anything and then that money is haram basically, it's filthy haram many which must be given away. So anyway

00:53:34--> 00:53:58

I will say about this I have the Quran wager on Romania. I mean, go to the experts and verify. So this is one of the most important issues with the usage of social media when we find any message, do not follow them on until we do not verify its authenticity. Bertha Buddle wo Edith and Buddle.

00:54:00--> 00:54:06

Another form of misuse of the tongue and another form of lying exaggeration

00:54:07--> 00:54:21

it can happen verbally especially online because people spread rumors things spread like wildfire online exaggeration does something small and someone added a bit of masala to it and you know this not

00:54:23--> 00:54:32

again one of my future seem to talk to Dr. Money once was mentioning and once he was very he was ill said I was no no not just at home ill

00:54:33--> 00:54:39

so somebody found out that he was ill. So he put a message out on WhatsApp that

00:54:40--> 00:54:49

somebody added very so then this message started going very ill then somebody said extremely

00:54:50--> 00:55:00

so the only extremely that he said somebody thought himself is extremely hill that he must be in hospital so then the message started going on that he shared was in hospital may go out for you may go

00:55:00--> 00:55:29

are people doing the right spirit. But again, we need to know what's halal and haram. It's not just being with the right spirit. You don't you can't steal with the intention of giving it to the poor. So this is the right spirit, it's good intention that I want everyone to make dua, everyone on Facebook, Twitter, you know, Chinese, you know, is extremely critically ill. He said I had an old flu and people were sending him messages critically ill. And then there were messages on Facebook, Twitter that the share has passed away.

00:55:31--> 00:55:34

The sheriff has passed away, which is the geneticists.

00:55:35--> 00:56:20

Now this happens because people are not taught. They're not very funny. If someone said is Ill do not forward that message anywhere. You know, the reason behind this is that people have the spiritual disease to be unique and be the first one is a spiritual disease. Yeah, look, I'm the first person I found out that there's no one going formula. I'm the first person with this video unique. This is a spiritual disease. We want unique names for our children. We don't want nice names. We want fanciful names, even if we mean by meetings, if it's fanciful and good meaning fine, but you know, I'm beyond names of Prophets, names of Sahaba. You know, we want we want to be unique,

00:56:20--> 00:56:29

no one should, no one should have the same name that I give my daughter to just say, no one should be human anymore, because he's human.

00:56:31--> 00:57:03

You know what, I want to be unique, nobody should be like me, I should stand up. So this prompts people to start spreading, exaggerating and you know, spreading news and things like that. And then Backbiting is also a sin of the tongue. Which is a major haram backbiting without a barbecue America. We know the messengers of Allah when he said it's a false accusation is a haram, which will have to prove in a court of Allah. But even if something is true, and we're talking about someone, because I have asked the messengers of Allah, you send us

00:57:04--> 00:57:44

what is read when he said, some Allah what He said and he said, rule number LIBOR. Do you know what Backbiting is? They said, Allahu wa rasuluh Harlan, Allah, His Messenger know best than the messengers of Allah who and who said, I'm sending Vic Ruka a haka. democra. You mentioned anything about your brother or sister what he or she dislikes. So the companions and almost near of Allah, what if that person has that bad quality that I talked about? He said, If he has that bad quality, then that is what's Riba? Because if he doesn't have that bad quality puppet button, then you've false falsely accused them this is false allegation. So Riba is when you talk truth about someone,

00:57:45--> 00:58:24

not in their presence, they will dislike you to say that how many messages on Whatsapp and Facebook and Twitter we are talking about the world even a coffin generally you call me Reba, you have to be very careful with every word letter. So anyway, this was point number five and come to a company then a few more minutes. Usage of the tongue which means how we write what we write swearing slandering, so we need to make sure when we are online on social media or the Facebook or Twitter or WhatsApp or whatever we are on a show we don't swear we don't slander we don't hurt people's feelings. And we verify us we don't exaggerate, we don't forward anything on without finding out the

00:58:24--> 00:58:26

authenticity of it.

00:58:27--> 00:58:35

Point six the last one or maybe seven I might have mentioned just one minute. Point six is inconvenience to others.

00:58:36--> 00:58:38

This is a big issue, as well.

00:58:41--> 00:58:43

We have WhatsApp I've talked about this before.

00:58:45--> 00:58:52

People add you to groups on WhatsApp without asking permission. I don't know if that's allowed or not. I don't think it would be allowed.

00:58:53--> 00:59:10

You know, I wasn't on WhatsApp for a long time. Everyone had WhatsApp and then people saying Why don't you be on WhatsApp? Why don't you need it then finally, I gave in you know, I had to be on WhatsApp you have to sometimes get on the was moving forward. You have to you can't say that. But I've got a baby.

00:59:12--> 00:59:25

When you call that state's status, please do not and not in capital letters n o t do not add me to any groups without permission. Anyone who does was brought letters

00:59:26--> 00:59:30

and unhandled I'm just part of one group, not two groups.

00:59:31--> 00:59:46

And then it's inactive groups mostly it's only really important ones all the teachers in the middle assign one is another group has two groups just don't want to be in groups because it's just garbage. Sometimes it just you have to scroll and scroll how much can your mind take information?

00:59:47--> 00:59:53

You know some people unlike 10 groups, I just can't get help some people can be on 10 WhatsApp groups

00:59:54--> 00:59:59

is that more people are more like 1015 2030 4050

01:00:00--> 01:00:05

I'm crazy. It's like constant connection

01:00:06--> 01:00:49

with peace in life you know just relax we have found a way to spend time with your children with your spouse at home you know, mine needs to get to rest. Why why do you need to know all of this what's going on and you know this this just forget it. It's just give your mind I've got a piece, simple life peaceful life, the movement no less you have consequent people than better life and quality you have. So this adding people on groups without seeking the permission is not allowed. People should ask permission first. And the other way of inconveniencing is to broadcast broadcast messages. You know, people, people just every two, three days they send now I think you can only

01:00:49--> 01:00:52

send to five people in one go or something or WhatsApp, but

01:00:53--> 01:00:57

a message broadcasted to everybody it's like every two three days.

01:00:58--> 01:01:25

It's not relevant to me. Have you asked my permission? If you haven't? It's simple. This one person who was sending so many messages, okay. Tomorrow this is happening living in another city talking about things happening. Okay, now Metro so this is happening in our school this is happening. I'm not part of the school. Like I have to keep on looking at my phone to know that you've called the students at 10am What am I going to do from less than to come and then sometimes some people always Thursday to noon OSI satellite, I noticed that some

01:01:27--> 01:01:50

messages this hadith that have been sometimes half the time sometimes a hadith is not checked, who knows what's true? Whether it's you know, something that statement is true or not. So that's verification, but constantly broadcasting messages and sending it to people if we want to we should as commissions look okay, and send a message first Islam welcome. Do you mind every two, three days? I'll be sending, you know, messages to?

01:01:51--> 01:02:11

If you okay, then send if not, we need to seek permission because people use sometimes WhatsApp as a phone like text message. So you want to just receive messages which are relevant to you, from friends from family, not just this is not like, that's why I never use whatsapp generally to you know, send these kinds of messages.

01:02:12--> 01:02:19

You for that you can have an official, like a Twitter account or a Facebook account where people

01:02:20--> 01:02:29

themselves have subscribe to it. They've joined they want to get notifications. In the olden times the emails are in now there's a law as well. That

01:02:30--> 01:03:16

yeah, that people just send you people sending emails you have to you have to unsubscribe, No, you shouldn't be subscribing not you have to unscrewed subscribe. This is Islamic principles as well. So this is a very important issue related to social media in terms of causing inconvenience and harm to people that was point six. And lastly, counseling is a topic on its own. But just briefly, we have to be very careful on social media there are specific special accounts created by the enemies of Islam by non Muslims to groom young Muslim children and eventually make them atheists and leave Islam. There in the name of Islam, the in the name of you know, Quran in the name of sunnah many

01:03:16--> 01:03:20

accounts, they will start presenting Islam in the beginning they will you know,

01:03:21--> 01:03:51

say that, you know, first they will say things like, you know, they'll say good things about Islam, but they will try to prove in light of science, the brainwashed the young Muslim into thinking that anything that is proven by science is correct. So they will say look, the Quran is also this is what the Quran says but also proven by science. The Quran and Sunnah says this as well also proven by science look, so the mind is now made to believe that anything which logic and science

01:03:52--> 01:04:35

confirms is correct, which means that if something is not confirmed by science and by technology and by modern research, which is also made of man made, because brain intellect is automatically but if it's in the Quran and Sunnah then like it could be wrong now. That's how the mind so then they go on to the next step. How is it possible you know all those issues that create doubt in the mind of Muslim bringing about the job bringing about the descent of Raisa peace be upon him talking about and then the age of artificial Avila when her talking about polygamy took all these controversial rights of women. Slowly, slowly, slowly before you know your child who started you gave them this

01:04:35--> 01:04:59

nice very good smartphone has become a very non smartphone now, because this phone has taken your child out of the fold of Islam. There are young people I've met him come across who have become atheists by using this form that we've made this this makes people hate Islam. This is why it's really important to do never I mean, I personally feel it's not a ruling anything but it's just a personal preference. But until our children on at least 1819 We should not

01:05:00--> 01:05:38

on their own smartphones at night, I think 19 is when they should have their own smartphone. Before that they should not have a phone. I personally feel that seriously, there are many harms associated with this. People get involved in relationships that can bully there's abuse, this porn, there's addiction, there's virtual relationships, we don't know what they're doing in their bedroom in the fall in the middle of the night, they're chatting for four hours with somebody. It could be anyone you might have a daughter who's 13 year old talking to a 45 year old man who's presenting himself to be like, a 15 year old boy, no one knows who's who.

01:05:39--> 01:05:46

So they have this phone and chatting to people online. And like I said, they could even leave Islam and May Allah protects our children.

01:05:48--> 01:05:54

But no, this is low hanging fruit Allah said Allah was hermit like he was yourself

01:06:03--> 01:06:07

if you want to buy leads, it doesn't just does anyone have any questions?

01:06:09--> 01:06:13

If you want about the health of the iPhone is just

01:06:14--> 01:06:16

just questions. Just

01:06:17--> 01:06:20

just any questions? Okay, comment.

01:06:21--> 01:06:23

Questions, any questions?

01:06:25--> 01:06:27

Maybe afterwards, comment? Okay.

01:06:30--> 01:06:34

She wants to add something to Okay. If you're making briefings

01:06:35--> 01:06:42

about swearing inside us when somebody why plus us or somebody in the

01:06:44--> 01:06:44

queue

01:06:46--> 01:07:07

you know, it should be even inside we should not dissuade Yeah, of course. So this is another level and this is called Emotional Intelligence. Even if some way the face me block my car, angry about with me, I try to be very peaceful with him. And why definitely change?

01:07:11--> 01:07:22

That's very good comment. No, this is a point of course. I mean, I wasn't saying that. You should swear in the mic. No, we shouldn't definitely we should try it ourselves. So just for that addition.

01:07:25--> 01:07:31

If you remember the six points again, point one addiction point to Zina of the eyes.

01:07:32--> 01:07:33

Let me ask point three.

01:07:36--> 01:07:38

The virtual relationship with Allah for

01:07:42--> 01:07:46

the time being, that was the first one time addiction number one,

01:07:47--> 01:07:52

protecting the eyes to number three virtual online relationships, three, four

01:07:54--> 01:07:58

sets, he was making notes and he was writing for

01:07:59--> 01:08:03

mental health issues. Five was the long one.

01:08:05--> 01:08:17

Sins of Tongan writing all the different parts of that swearing. Right. Liba writing about slandering, spreading rumors and avoiding stuff. That was number five, number six.

01:08:20--> 01:08:20

Last time,

01:08:22--> 01:08:26

and creating these convenience to others. And last one,

01:08:27--> 01:08:40

children. Yeah. Children being groomed into leaving Islam. So these are seven points that we have a question from, from YouTube. I think we got referred to us.

01:08:42--> 01:09:25

And the families children get attracted towards the social media tricks. What way can we adapt to that our children understand the severity of these issues. They don't take it seriously. Children don't take anything seriously. Children won't take studies seriously. Children won't take, you know, studying working hard, nothing seriously, their children, children and children, their brains know that we don't expect a child to take something seriously. So the point is that the parents have to take into the history. We are the guardians, we have to be you have to be strong. Even if our children, you know, cry, or if they you know, we have to be nice and gentle and polite in in the way

01:09:25--> 01:09:58

we do therapy. But we still have to be strong and firm. If it means no, it means no time for you to use phone or your gadget or whatever to play games. Saturday, at this time, you get two hours, they look forward to it as well. Sending this many hours, you know, be disciplined at home with children. It's already becoming hard to say look, I didn't understand so that's why your parents allows me the reason the reason allow me to service parents comes responsibility and you have to take time out to look after them and protect them shall make lots of love from them as well.

01:10:03--> 01:10:05

How cautious should we be?

01:10:07--> 01:10:08

When we're forwarding?

01:10:10--> 01:10:19

Messages, which we think are beneficial, if we see a message returned to Jose Hades, which you've heard of AIT, and

01:10:21--> 01:10:24

you've heard of before in their talk, for example,

01:10:25--> 01:10:39

but then you're not sure if the wording is exactly correct. And if the quotation like the Vasari, and which I said, we're not sure if that's completely correct, should we be can we be forwarding those? Or

01:10:40--> 01:11:07

how far should we check? It's good to check. But some things you can tell that look, it's, you know, it's a common Hadith that you've heard many times, and everyone knows about it, and the word is there. And if you look at it, then it's properly is getting reference and things like that, then you show what should be okay, there's just the island clock on the youth and things like that at all. And you can easily know, you know, but if if he doesn't mind that if this slight doubt, there is best to check. This is just

01:11:08--> 01:11:31

to where we have to be more careful when it's other things like someone just know some information about something else, something happening in the world and someone saying this, things happen with that. In those issues, we really have to be careful before forwarding is you really need to verify the authenticity of what's being sent. And there's no need to vote, save us to hustle time and save anyone else the time was.

01:11:34--> 01:11:42

So you mentioned about giving fallen to the pupils when they're 18 or 19 years old. issues

01:11:43--> 01:12:01

we have in general guy walking to school. Normally that students 1314 12 even even the songs when the Prime Minister they have already have a smartphone. So if you have a child, and you want to delay the phone, this is sound notice school, everyone else around him Vodafone is in like really difficult.

01:12:02--> 01:12:25

And I heard from another person as well like the people the delay the phone for too long. And the person already had it from and he's hiding from the patterns. So the time they figured out they they just said basically they admitted that it's their fault, because everyone around this person already had a phone. And the girl was hiding from the pattern. And so it's not like creating

01:12:26--> 01:13:07

a phone, they bought it themselves. Yes, they tended to know how the girls got the phone. So she was hiding from the patent for a long time. When she's 16. Somehow I think she went out somewhere they figured out the phone at home. But before that she had the phone for lunch this one two years, maybe the Taliban know to come because the parents are too strict thinking okay, I wouldn't give my phone to my daughter or son. But she comes from some from somewhere so in that scenario not gonna happen every time but bras specifically like how to deal in the how delay we should delay in this is when everything peer pressure, not just the phone. But generally when everyone has something and you stop

01:13:07--> 01:13:16

your children from having it they you know, we want I remember when I was growing old, we've never had TV in my house. My father's very old.

01:13:18--> 01:14:00

Old school, never know TV until today. We've known in his house has never been to Ireland seen a TV screen what's in a TV until I was like 1314 I used to hide and try to go to my friend's house and sports games used to happen. And you know, I got caught once in a while got angry enough to just watch a bit of football in this was in the 80s late 80s When I was growing up never like TV was haram. That was a fatwa given by the scholars in the olden times now, tz TVs have admitted haram. But it classically all our scholars in the Arab world and everywhere, they said keep having a TV screen at home is absolutely wrong because there's more harm in it. So it's it's a challenge. No one

01:14:00--> 01:14:04

can be perfect. I think we need to do is sort of

01:14:05--> 01:14:47

balance it with the way they look, give them alternatives. So maybe at home, have games, maybe you have a phone that you can use, here's the phone, this is not your own phone. This is a phone, whatever you want to be like in our presence. This game is on a play whatever may let them play certain things. But then you have to give the phone back use it for this many hours. So that it's not something that never seen. Because if they're not seen then and some heavy hammer money I'm like the human being is eager to see that which is prevented when there's a barrier barrier then they want to see it. So give them a phone but not their own phone. Not that they sleep on the phone and

01:14:47--> 01:14:55

the father and the parents mother and father both. We have to leave. We have to be tactful and we have to be clever. We have to be one step ahead of our children.

01:14:57--> 01:14:59

You know children are very clever, even online they will do

01:15:00--> 01:15:10

We'll see things that have passwords to the, there'll be a folder there and say technology folder in there, they'll have some passwords. It'll be other technology, the way they hide things and stuff. So that's why

01:15:11--> 01:15:19

parenting in itself is a challenge. It's a challenge, Muslim responsibility. And parents have to be always one step ahead,

01:15:20--> 01:15:21

then the children,

01:15:22--> 01:15:45

before they even they know what the children trying to do you and you already know you, you've, you're ahead of them. It's a game, you have to be ahead of them in that game, you have to be smarter than them. The problem is when children are more smarter than the parents, that's when problems occur. That's the norm. That is the norm. I mean, if we think that we are smarter than IQ, then we're fooling ourselves.

01:15:46--> 01:15:48

Kids nowadays,

01:15:49--> 01:16:02

specifically due to technology, clever, because from a young age, they can use what you know, I mean, my youngest son, if there was, like a year ago, when I used to be showing, you know, because dad, you know, you don't what you're doing, give me that for me show you how to do.

01:16:03--> 01:16:53

That happens, that is a norm. So I think the challenge of dealing with addiction is I don't think we have a clear, easy answer. And I don't we don't we do. And I think this thing about delaying it, you know, I've tried that myself, and then it brings all sorts of issues into the family. We really need proper guidance on this. Now, I don't see an easy solution to this. I think we should never seriously need to get together on this because I don't think any one of us here as a parent, we're sincere. No way of dealing with this. There's no clear it's definitely it's not like one solution, which we work completely differently. I think what else with this is that parents themselves have to

01:16:53--> 01:17:05

set an example. That's very important. You know, if our children grow old, when they're young, and the seven, eight, and let's see us always on home, they come to talk to you, and you just message

01:17:06--> 01:17:22

them they'll see her pulling my daughter barely from the phone. Talk to me like what phone's gonna kill you can't talk to me. When she comes on say I'm pulling the phone off, give full attention if they grow older and keep on seeing the parents always engaged on the phone.

01:17:23--> 01:17:31

So that's why the Quran says one more alchemy sloty was temporary. If you want to encourage your children to pray you have to play yourself.

01:17:32--> 01:17:44

The greatest form of upbringing is like self so I think we have to be very careful as well. And then also maybe I think addition to that habit when they grow older but have this conversation.

01:17:45--> 01:17:58

No reason with them, explain to them why it's bad. Like we're not you know what, when I tell my children something they're not supposed to do I sit down I'm not your enemy. I'm not hating you. I'm not doing this because I hate you and I don't want you to you know, enjoy yourself.

01:18:00--> 01:18:20

I could just go away and leave it to his family. I'm not getting any benefit from it. I tell my son he's 11 years old. I said look, you are making you pray and sit down for this. You need to do homework. I could just go to sleep I'd be more enjoyable it'd be more enjoyable for me to go to sleep I am making do this before you're good.

01:18:21--> 01:18:23

You remember me later anything since

01:18:24--> 01:18:33

then? So sometimes having a conversation reasoning with them telling them look this is not because we want to stop you from something good

01:18:34--> 01:18:44

you know suicide rates are going on I mean to the level of what age they are of course you know you can't explain all the details to attend so based on the age level explaining things to them

01:18:59--> 01:18:59

see that

01:19:04--> 01:19:12

along the cellular setting although you can as Ian and Mohammed said he was he was telling about the dunya herself and all throughout the house out there

01:19:13--> 01:19:14

Robin

01:19:19--> 01:19:22

Robin I Nick Jr. on NASA your middle labor fee and a lot of people

01:19:23--> 01:19:25

may notice LUCA in my mafia

01:19:27--> 01:19:30

but it's called Marcia Schieffer

01:19:31--> 01:19:35

along with machine I wish we would have been mostly we allow machine our washing

01:19:36--> 01:19:43

machine or washing mobiles in LogMeIn industrial community myself Luckily in my article interview because you know, Mohammed was

01:19:45--> 01:19:50

when I was a commercial investor, I have to call it a vehicle safe no Harlequin still alive always says

01:19:52--> 01:19:54

that our holy books

01:19:55--> 01:19:55

have been

01:19:56--> 01:19:59

inducted into seminary, but nobody knows more.

01:20:00--> 01:20:03

Nana in Netherlands he was on a wall who was

01:20:06--> 01:20:08

he he was he was sending I mean what