Bridging the Silence Conversations on Men’s Mental Health Purpose Of Life

Yusha Evans

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The speakers discuss the importance of men and finding one's own success in life, as it is crucial for mental health reasons and fear of negative consequences. They stress the need for men to deal with emotions and avoid them happening again, and emphasize the importance of trusting Allah for one's life. The speakers also emphasize the need for people to find their own values and pursue them, and to pray hard during the night to get up in the middle of the day and not just ask for help. They stress the importance of finding passionate people and not just asking for help.

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Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato. Welcome to a lesson foundations podcast. I have a question for you all. What is your purpose in life? What is your purpose in this life and your commitment to your life and your family?

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We were hoping to explore the expectations of the purpose of life in sha Allah in today's special podcast. I have two special guests today.

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For our first guest joining me today is our friend Sarah Modicon. Monika Salam tilava. Ricardo, how are you today?

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I haven't seen you for about 10 seconds insha Allah and joining us all the way from Texas Salaam Alaikum. Brother You shall hell you are Alikum salam ala Hamza Allah he will be the Catalan fantastic number. How's the weather there in Texas?

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At a very high I hear so happy to hear that the communities this weekend we're praying salata LIS they're offering Subhan Allah, Allah make it easy inshallah Allah smart Allah make it easy inshallah. So I have I have I have a question for you both insha. Allah, I got approached by a family friend a few days ago, who's going through a few personal issues.

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And

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the, the talk is lately almost suicidal. And coming from Islam, obviously, suicide is haram.

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So my, my question to you both is, you know, what is, you know, what is the purpose and direction in our life for these, for these brothers, or anyone that is actually going through these sorts of thoughts Muslim or non Muslim? Obviously, we, you know, mental health, especially for men lately, is a very sensitive topic, that, you know, as men, we always try to brush it under the carpet. And I'm sure people have actually approached you both about this.

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What would your thoughts and what what is your feedback, like when you hear this sort of stuff, from community members and outside community members? Smilla? You know, I have some importance about this topic, because number one, I've actually dealt with a number of suicidal people in my counseling sessions, that that express suicidal thoughts. It's actually a staggering rate. Not only that, but not only do we not talk about men's mental health, and we're not leaving the sisters out at all trust the whole thing. men's mental health is a very untalked about subject in general in the world, Muslim men's mental health is an even more taboo topic.

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And there is actually a rise of suicide rates amongst men in the Muslim community. We know that suicide rates amongst men are Trump are tremendously more high than they are women. But now we're starting to see this within the Muslim community. Actually, I spoke to a brother today, who said within the past three months, there have been five brothers, five brothers in the United Kingdom with taking their own lives, Muslims, Muslims who are known to be Muslim, they come to the masjid you see them at Friday prayer, yeah, they are going on, they were going dealing with things behind the scenes, they would not tell anyone, they didn't feel like if they did tell you one, anyone would

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care. That was one of the suicide notes was left was that this got so bad that I I felt like I couldn't speak to anybody. And before it was too bad, I didn't feel like anybody would even care. And I don't feel like anybody's gonna care that I'm not here anymore. Yeah. So if the brother took his own life, and I've actually spoken to three sisters over the past year, who have lost their their either their spouse or their brother, or their father, to suicide.

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So this is something that we really need to discuss, and I and I believe it goes back to what you were talking about. Dunoon is not understanding purpose, and not understanding the plan of Allah subhanho wa Taala and how it works on life and test etc, so on and so forth. But it is something that needs to be discussed. It is a taboo topic, men's mental health is a taboo topic, in suicide amongst men in the Muslim community is something that we're just sweeping under the rug, would you say? It's more like, you know, their own personal fulfillment that they see that it's not reached? What What are your thoughts on this? I saw a clip the other day on On Facebook And subhanAllah

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wasn't about Muslims. So the person that was speaking was asking a question saying, you know, if you have a problem, and I think was a lady that was actually asking the question, so she was asked, posing the question when you're going through depression, or you have an issue, who can you turn to? She had maybe 10 or 15 men I can't remember exact amount of men but when I went for a while each and then each and every single person on Mayo said I go to no one. They said there's no one there for them. Nor can I go to anyone to open up to I just have to deal with this. And this is another thing you just have to start

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Crap, as I say, You know what I mean, just deal with it, you're a male, you have to deal with it. So whether it's emotional, whether it's physical, whether it's whatever it may be, you just have to deal with it. You know,

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if a man does open up, a lot of people say, Oh, look, this guy, he's a wimp, you know, he can't handle himself. He's not a man. He's not this. So there's so much stress on men dealing with these emotions and having to deal with them by themselves. Unfortunately, you know, you know what's interesting on that point, like this day and age, I don't know if you have that over there in, in USA, you ask a man or woman or whoever it is, how are you today? What the general consensus or response is nowadays? Can't complain? No, no, listen. And, yeah, whenever they say that, like we've, we've actually turned that almost into mockery, where you know, you snigger about it, and you keep

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going with a conversation that you have, but deep down when when someone actually says that they could be actually going through some sort of traumatic experience or, or something's actually happening in their life that they can't complain to anybody because no one will listen to them and show your brother you show us all what we have here in Australia, one day a year, we've actually got a you okay, they so this is where you turn around and say to the people that you're supposedly close to? Are you okay? Just to open up a conversation, even though you might be seeing me? That's the thing, because if you're actually around the person that just say, you know, you work with an

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individual, any, how can you turn around, say, once a year, are you okay? Are you dealing with him every day, you know, five days a week, whatever it may be. So again, we set off one side a day to it, I saw that same clip that you're talking about abortion has been going around for a couple years now. Yeah, you know, where these men are just like, I have nobody, I had no one to go to. But then I've been I saw something else. Because I because of the fact that I deal with counseling and mental health, I watch a lot of these mental health, podcasts and books, etc. There was one that was so it was profound to me was that, you know, women say they want men to open up to them. Right? That, you

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know, they say that now that mental health become bigger thing they were like, but in reality, you don't want that man to open up to you. Because what happens when he opens up to you what what I was saying it the moment he opens up to you, and then let's just say he breaks and he starts crying. And he starts you know, immediately you start looking at him lower and lower and lower, until you don't respect him anymore. Yeah. So you say you want him to open up we say that we want men to open up. But when they do open up, we see it as a sign of weakness. And that is the problem. Whereas opening up if anybody been through mental health, and I have had my own, I was very open about it in my, in

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my podcasts and stuff like that, like I had my own mental health struggles from my childhood, etc. Opening up is the most powerful and strongest thing that a man can do actually going. We don't do this, especially for us older generation men, which I think all three of us are from that generation said, Mr. Danny, the baby over there.

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We were not taught to open up so opening up that can of worms and talking about our problems, talking about the things that bother us is actually a very powerful thing. But if we receive on the other end of that negativity or bad response, we will never do it again. We'll never do it again. And then men will just close up and he won't open up ever again. Which is a big, big problem. And that's where the thoughts of suicide will come in. Because he feels like he can't trust anyone I trusted you I opened up to you now that you're you're looking down at me or using this against me, how am I supposed to open up anymore, especially if they if they try to open up to someone who is

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very close to them, the reaction that they were expecting, or the support that they were expecting doesn't come to what their expectations were, they're never going to open up again, like, no trust somebody that's outside the circle or circle for that. And it is unfortunately we had some people that we knew in the past, you know, hit by trains, we actually watched one of them. Prior to that the brother that we used to see, there was not we didn't think there was a problem with him. It was just around us was happy, you know, you know would speak or this sort of stuff. The following week, we were watching. He told me that he threw himself in front of a train Hill. Yes. I have two

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brothers who came to me suicidal. And the reason why they went to the point of suicide, suicide, and we're thinking about it was because they were having mental health struggles. They opened up to their wives about it. Their wives filed divorce from them because of it and then use that in court to take their children from them.

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Can you imagine Can you imagine a man decides to open up about his mental health struggles and what is going on in his wife's life? What's wrong with you? Why are you so snappy? Why are you short tempered? Why? Why are you closed off and recluse you don't talk to nobody. You don't come home too late. And he opens up about the fact that he's struggling mentally, maybe he's going through anxiety, depression, you know, things are going on financially and he doesn't want to share that burden with his wife. Then he opens up to her about these things. She uses it as a reason to leave him and then goes to the court and says he's mentally unstable. He doesn't deserve to see his kids.

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Spamalot, what, you know, what impact would that also have to his psyche because again, we don't want to say us and then anywhere

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We're not here to you know, blame the women or blame the men or these sort of things. We know it's an issue. It isn't issue. Again, going back to the point of the understanding the question that you had, what is your purpose

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in life in terms of that? I think I think people have to come back in terms of okay, Why did Allah put us on this earth? Yeah, well, maculicola genuine ins allele Abdul, Allah subhanaw taala pantalla didn't create the men or the gin, except for us to worship Him. And this is a focus point of us, okay, we know that Allah subhanaw taala. He created us to worship Him. We know this test and trials, we know that the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam, he's the one that went through the most most tremendous trials more than anyone. And through his salah, you can see this and as many, many examples that we can give of that Subhanallah in one being when they were digging the middle of the

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trench when they were digging, and, you know, the they, they came to a big boulder, and they came to the Prophet Solomon said, Yeah, Rasulullah there's about the here we can't remove it and all this sort of stuff, they came, you hit it, it broke into pieces, then they noticed that the process of him had a had a rock on his stomach, on the stomach, where he was starving. You know what I mean? And this is the thing that gave him that, that power. But then again, he was suffering. You know what I mean? So for us all to understand, we have to first and foremost turn to him to Allah. Samantha is our Savior. He's the one that created us. He's the one that can make things go away. So

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the solution here, our purpose is to worship Allah is to put our trust in Allah is to pray to Allah, through these tests, what do we do we turn to Allah subhanaw taala. Then you have the mentor, who's the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam, what did he do? How did he do things? Many times you hear the process I'm sending in prayer at night. He's in bed or during the day, and he's standing all night, crying, standing in prayer being steadfast and firm. And he was going through much, so much, his family, they rejected Him, they kicked him out of Mecca, he had to lose everything of his wife and all the Sahaba went through the same thing. But again, going back to the point, they had one another

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and I think that's the key you said they had one another to speak to before one another, they had

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almost one thought that they had to trust in Allah subhanaw taala that he would listen. They also had the understanding the concept that life was not all cotton candy and rainbows. You know, I mean, Allah, even Allah subhana wa Tada revealed, you know, and sort of drinkable. Do you think that you're going to say you're not, you're gonna believe and we're not going to test you, like life is not supposed to be especially for the believer. It's not supposed to be an easy road. And I've said this so many times, and I've told brothers, like, if you say you're a believer, and you're never been tested, Allah is not putting you through difficulty. You don't have hardships, you don't have

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any, you shouldn't be worried. You shouldn't be worried. If you say you're a believer in your life is just super easy all the time. I wouldn't worry 100% I would be concerned because the prophets of a sudden said Allah test those whom he loves. So if I wasn't getting tested, I'd be wondering if Allah loves me, yeah, but we do need a support system, that's a problem. I could go very deep down the rabbit hole with this, I'm not going to. But part of it is, if you even if you look at the time of the Prophet sallallahu was said limbs. It was a it was a a not, and I'm not saying tribal system in the terms of sob. But it was a tribal system and the terms of there was a community, it was a

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community. And that's the way it used to be for a very long time, like people lived in communal groups. And then what happened after World War Two, especially in the West, they started sectioning off the suburbs, and you know, the nuclear family, and people moving out on their own away from their in laws away from their extended family. And then we cut off that hole, we cut off that, you know, I mean, we cut off that connection to the to the rest of our, our tribe, and we see that as Muslims now like, everybody, you can have a neighborhood that's full of Muslims, and nobody knows what's going on in anybody else's life. That's right. You have no idea. Yeah. And that's a problem

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that we don't have that sense of community anymore. You know, I mean, we don't have it. We're all living our own lives in 100. You know what, it's funny, you should actually bring that up, because let's use the pandemic and social media and people becoming introverts

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as a result of, you know, the pandemic, and then of them getting used to isolating themselves. Do you think that's also had some sort of impact which, which has made them move away from being social COVID Three different times. And since then, I've had a plethora of different health issues, all of a sudden, that have popped, they were always there. But now there's so much more pronounced, you know, I mean, these heart issues, I have these other things, they just all of a sudden, this is just like, boom. But what Danny was talking about one thing that I do know, that happened during the pandemic that was a tragedy is is so much reliance on social media. Yeah, you know, social media was

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already a big issue. It was already a problem with how people perceive themselves. People looking at other people's lives, not that weren't realistic anyway, because the pandemic, the pandemic pushed everybody towards social media, everybody was on socialise all day long, and they got used to doing that, which gave us a very false sense of reality. You know, I mean, you go on social media and you see all these other people apparently living these amazing life and you know, social media, everybody's living an amazing life.

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Hear you are like, oh my god my life is you know, life is terrible. And one thing that I have learned through psychotherapy is that when you're ungrateful when you're ungrateful, your mental health will be tragically affected by it. And this is part of the verse were lost. I know what Allah says, line SCHUCHART normally is identical. If you're grateful to now give you more of what what is the end of that verse say, if you are ungrateful know that My punishment is severe in gratitude begets Allah's punishment in your life. And that's what we've done. Now we look at social media, we see these people who look like they're living the most largest lives are flying everywhere. They're

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staying in Turks and Caicos. They're living in these fancy hotel rooms and look like they're driving, you know, Ferraris every other weekend. A lot of time just rentals. They live in a facade life and then we're trying to live up to unrealistic standards. Get off the social media, get off your phone, this society, especially kids growing up from a tender age, there's a phone, keep them quiet, don't let them cry them. Any of us growing up. I think we've mentioned this before us growing up, yeah, we would go out play uni from the time we wake up and to Margarita and then go, you know, go back into the house and all this sort of stuff. There's a funny clip once spoke about the hosts

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drinking from a house. And if you guys have seen it, so there's a I've seen a new age guy saying, you know, what would you have to go and drink from a hose, if you could just went inside and drink from a cup of whatever it is. But back then there was way more to go inside exactly the same inside. If you went inside, you get locked by him. We had to turn on the hose or hot water.

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That's right. You know, and even during the pandemic, I saw some people were like, Man, I ain't worried about no COVID drug I grew up drinking from a garden hose.

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You know, but the difference was we actually interacted with people. Now sending your kids outside as a punishment. I tell my kids go outside, they're like, What did I do? What do you mean? What did you What did you do? For us? It was it was a punishment like we would, and I'm saying this in a very nonchalant way. But like we would we would avoid going instead, we would use the bathroom in the woods if we had to. Because we knew that if we went back inside, our parents might be like, Oh, by the way, stay inside you already back in. So stay in No, no, we wouldn't come into those things. That's true. Yeah, we were forced now our kids tell to tell them to go out the side just like it's

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like torture. You know, it's funny when whenever we get

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people coming in, and asking us what cataract is for, for operations. And my response to that generally is, you know, when we were younger, and we used to go outside, and then by the time we go inside, we can't see because of the sunspots that we have in our eyes.

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That's my explanation of how it's difficult for people to see sometimes and other things. But I can't actually explain that to a younger generation, because they probably haven't experienced that before they get sunspots, from the voices from the phones in the vertical. Like I'm sure like if you tell if you tell a teenager that probably doesn't actually go out as often, they probably wouldn't actually comprehend what we're referring to. No, they're not. But one thing I tell a lot of my,

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my coaching my counseling clients that are losing kind of this, this mental health battle, is I asked them about their purpose. You know, I asked them this is one of the core things I asked him about, like what is what is your purpose in life, what drives you to wake up every single day? Because if you have no purpose, you have no life. Yeah, if you have, if you have no purpose, you have no life, if your purpose in life is just to get up every day and see what you know, go to work, come home, clock in, clock out, make it through the day to the weekend until you can take some I'm like that's not a purpose. You have no drive, if you have no drive, if things go wrong in your life,

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you go with it, if you have no purpose, but for those of us who have a bigger purpose, like I've watched them, and I'm sure you've been through many ups and downs in your life when talking to you know, I know about your life story. I had dinner and we haven't gotten that deep, but I'm sure you have I myself have had so many ups and downs in life. But having that find purpose defined purpose in my life is what's allowed me to be able to overcome each and every one of those hurdles. And I've learned that through, you know, looking at these big people in business, for instance, you take like Steve Jobs, Steve Jobs, for instance, Steve Jobs, what did he go through to become the person who

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would change technology as we know it today, you know, he was fired from his own company. He was fired from his own company, in didn't didn't have anything started another company ended up buying it by you know, getting back into Apple then creating the iPhone, which changed the world. And all of it was because he understood his purpose was that he wanted to make technology. He wanted to give people the technology that they needed, even before they knew they needed it. And that was his purpose. And so therefore, whatever he would go through, he would just keep going through it because he knew his end purpose. We as Muslims got to learn that. Yes. So what to come back down to, you

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know, when you when you speak to them, like speak to any brothers or sisters that approach you.

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And I'm sure you probably go through it yourself as well. Would you like put points like whether it's a mental note or not in terms of personal fulfillment in your life, and what you want to achieve in order for them to actually

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I try to

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envision or try to aim towards that sort of vision. Like because you're saying everyone's almost like in routine work home work on, you know, there's no actual, like, they probably feel that there's no fulfillment purpose in life. Yeah. There's like we're like mice on a wheel. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. That just keeps going around around. If we look at Islam in general, in AI, we're always encouraged to do more good in there. Yeah. So whatever good you do, do as much as you can. For instance, if you pray, you're told that the Sunnah prayers, for instance, what would you get as a reward? You get a hospital, or St. John said, we're always encouraged to do more. Think about it,

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you know, you're saying, Okay, I'm living in this world, okay, it's gonna be a short period of time. So Allah has put us here to worship him. There's we know this world's full of tests and trials and all these sorts of things. Yes, there's happiness as well involved. We're not saying that, you know, you're living your life just to be in torture and misery, and all these sort of things like this happiness also, you know, through your worship, through your family, through your children, through your work from you getting certain amounts of wealth, no one's saying wealth is bad, nor is it evil. But what do you do with that? Well, that's our thing here. But also this attached from the dunya,

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meaning you have to remember there's a higher goal, and why Allah subhanaw taala created us. So if the hereafter is it forever? Or is it just limited time? The hereafter is forever. And so you have a goal. And Allah has given us that goal. He's saying, okay, here this test life may be hard, but you have to achieve something. So you have to achieve something. Right. So you spoke about Steve Jobs and all this sort of people, all of them put a higher level they get Okay, I need to achieve this. Once I achieve that, believe me, they put something else to achieve as well. Yeah. That's what I'm trying to say, then they're never finished, You're never satisfied. So for for anyone who obviously

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is going through these, you know, these issues and that,

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you know, what, what would their first, what would what would your recommendations be in terms of,

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you know, try to try to balance their life and coming back to this self care sort of thing, look, from my end is always getting them to open up, if they don't think there's a problem, they need to say there is a problem, they'd need to acknowledge there is a problem, then you can start working on things. Because if you, if you've built up a wall, you're not going to get over over the wall, nor can you knock it down, you have to say, okay, there is a problem, start to talk. Because if something's left in your heart, and it's always itching at you, you're not going to get over it, you need to talk about it, get it out of your union get, if you can solve it, if it's properly

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consulted, you need to solve it. Yeah, if it's a lack of something you need to achieve, so you can get past it. So this is what you have to just start by opening up going to a person who's trustworthy, this is a main thing, not somebody who's going to use it against you, or take advantage know this, you need to go to a trustworthy individual, so they can help you and the right person, if I've got a problem with obesity, and you wouldn't have a clue I can't come to you given it to get the right person. And again, this is one thing as you know, brother, as well, that most people go to go to, you know, my shareholders to know the sort of things and maybe they're not qualified in that

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field. You know, if you've got a problem business, if this guy doesn't know nothing about notice, seek professional help. 100% So depending on the problem, they're going through, like Teresa, Pamela lady came in, and she unfortunately had a bit of a problem. Something was taken from the home and all this sort of stuff. And she unfortunately didn't know but she said, Is there anything you can do for me? And I said, What do you mean? She said, you know, is there something we can do? You want me to use Shayateen to get information? I don't do that unfortunately. Lack of knowledge but she's thinking she can come to someone who's religious and get this information? Yes. Not unknowingly

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that's haram you know what I mean?

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But this is how people that when that's another thing when people get this unfortunate to the to the wrong people to seek advice. So brother you share what motivations would you recommend to anyone who are going through these issues that may need that sort of self care, therapy happening, for them to open up and, and obviously get back on track, and, you know, aim to achieve you know, what their motivation is in their life and their purpose in their life. There's three small points for not being long winded because this is something I've comes up over and over and over again in counseling. Number one, I tell people, you have to have a stubborn attitude. Survivors in this life

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people who go through difficulties that you want to trade I'll tell you about each and every one of them is that we're all stubborn. You know I mean, like we we refuse to give up, refuse to give up like I have certain goals that I want to hit in my life. certain milestones that I want to hit whether it's in my in my worldly life or it's in my my hereafter life, and I'm stubborn, I don't like to, I don't like to fail, you know, I mean, I will go over whatever obstacles climbed through whatever traps go through barbed wire fences, deep forest. I don't stop until I get what I want. So you have to develop a stubborn attitude, a very disciplined, stubborn attitude. And on top of that,

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you need to understand the race. The race is not a rat race in this world because as Mohammed said, it's it's finite, you know, I mean, the only the African is infinite. And Allah tells us about the race. The rat race was somebody who in the mafia turabi

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only race should be for the forgiveness of Allah subhanho wa Taala Anna, and I tell them their purpose no matter what they want to accomplish in life. You have to remember that the final purpose as Allah says in the Quran, when he talks about the prophet is a good example to be followed. But then he says what Lehmann Cana, your doula will Yeoman akhira what dakara Baraka Fira, those whose hope is with Allah on the last day, that's your final purpose, everything in your life needs to be centered around, hoping Allah Subhana Allah to Allah and the Last Day, and then I this is an advice I give to everybody who's going through difficulties, stress, you know, all of these things, I told

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them to make a list, this list has been monumental to me, in getting through my mental struggles, I make a list on one side of that list. At the top of that I put things that I can change. On the other side of that list, I put things that I cannot change. And I think about the stressors in my life, the things that are bothering me, the things that keep me up at night, the things that caused me anxiety, the things that caused me, depression, whatnot, and I asked myself are these things I can change? If they are I put them on that side of the list and I start making a plan on what am I going to do to start changing them. And if they are things that you cannot change, then these are

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the things that you have to get up in the middle of the night and pray about. These are the things you have to give to Allah subhanho wa Taala Anna, and I'll say it and I'll finish with this, so that we're not too long winded. I tell people if you really want something, ask yourself this question. Are you willing to work hard for it during the day and pray hard for it at night? Because if you're not willing to work hard for it during the day, and then get up in the middle of the night and pray hard for it to Allah Subhanallah to Anna, you don't want it as badly as you think you do? Because that night prayer is Abul Amen. I'm sure you can you give some more info on that. But that night

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prayer that the Emma Lael for people who are struggling, is like the Prophet SAW, Selim said like it's an arrow that does not miss its target. It's an arrow that doesn't miss its target. So if you have something that's bothering you, talk to someone as Mohammed said, open up to them. But make sure you get up in the middle of the night and pour your heart out to Allah depend on with Allah, He will never fail you never, don't forget many people's stress is because of the dunya. For instance, people want a house people want a nicer car against this influence from this new technology, or this new era of you know, social media and all these sort of things. Suddenly, believe me, believe me,

00:27:18--> 00:27:52

let's just say you want a certain pair of shoes or you want a handbag because they're so expensive these days, they once that individual gets a handbag or shoes, what happens then as a father was a man doesn't last long. Yeah, the relative last one you need, this is the thing you need, you're never ever going to be satisfied. If you're talking about generally the dunya you're never ever going to be satisfied. As as mentioned, in one of the Hadith of the prophets, Allah at least I mean, the meaning if the bunny Adam had a mountain of gold, what does he want? He wants another one. Yeah, and nothing's gonna feel the son of Adam, is what he did the throne the basically, we're just at the

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grave,

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that's going to seal your life, that's it, you know, then you're going to be content but then again, you've got some questioning in the grave, you're gonna either have a bit of the whole fire there for yourself or window of have done and you're going to smell the reason the frequency agenda. So we just have to remember just try to think outside the square that we're living in the moment, which is this showing us and teaching us this is how you should live your life. And you know, all the companies and you know, these mega companies that know basically what what to sell us because they're listening, they're knowing what we're typing and they know exactly what we want. Talk about

00:28:26--> 00:28:42

okay, I'm gonna say this right? I'm gonna say I want to build a shed, I guarantee you now on Facebook and all this sort of stuff that oh, they should advertisements are going to pop up. Yeah, yeah. After this talk today about mental health. I'm going to start getting mental health ad pops up on my Instagram, I promise you. But I want to ask you before we close that album, and I want to ask you one question.

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People ask me this all the time.

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If I'm a believer, right, I pray five times a day. I fast in the month of Ramadan. I give charity like I do everything you know, like, nobody should consider themselves a good Muslim. That's a sign of of a disease of the heart. But if I'm doing all of these things, right, why is Allah putting me through so much difficulty?

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Why? If I pray, I'm praying, I'm doing everything I'm supposed to do. Why is Allah making my life so miserable?

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That's it. How would you answer that? If somebody came to that and told you that I've had that many times in the past? That's my number one question and counseling. Look for. For my site. I always remind the people that you're not better than the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam, and again, we go through the Sierra and I love the set or the processor limb because this This fulfills the heart and gives you hope and understanding of why am I why am I actually living? The process alone was tested time and time and time and time again. And we're not better than him.

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Every prophet was tested through a lot. Yeah, so many things were taken away from them so many calamities, hit them. And if Allah spent Allah as you mentioned in the narration, that if Allah loves you, He tests you. Simple. So if you want a higher level in Jannah, it's not just going to come Allah

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because you know, I'm sitting down and doing nothing, no tests and trials need to come to you. This is the thing, this is a sign that you're a believer sign that you are worshipping Allah subhanaw taala. And he wants more for you in general. And this is sometimes misunderstood in this time because of the mentality of the people, and all the brainwashing that we're getting at the moment now, because everything in this time, it's like, forget Allah, everyone's becoming an atheist. There is no God. And this is the mental state of the people. And this is why we're starting to question if Allah uni, if I'm praying my five daily prayers, why does Allah test me and troll me. But this is

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part of the dunya. And this is part of our are going through the stages so that we can enter this on,

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I guess, and I always, always done the ask themselves, because you know, they say Why me? Right? That's the rabbi says why me? I tell them change that question. And I want you to I want you to answer me, why not you?

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Why not you? If our prophets had to go through so much stuff? What is it about you? That's so amazing, so amazing, so absolutely amazing that you don't deserve any tests. But you know, what's funny you should is that everyone is asking the question why me? So everyone is going through a test and trial because everyone does ask you a question. So sometimes that you question yourself or even yourself, you'd question yourself, sometimes you need, I'm going through this again. Oh my god, you know, you're rested a bit, then you go again, rest a bit. There you go again. So everyone is going through a personal process, Pamela?

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Last month, we're all going that's one thing we need to remember. And that's an overall I've seen this post on social media a lot during the pandemic, well treat people kindly because you never know what battles people are facing behind closed doors.

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And if you see someone struggling this is for everybody who's watching this podcast. If you see someone or your friends in your family, you know someone you're close to someone you deal with on a regular basis. And you see something has changed about them changed about their demeanor, they become withdrawn. They seem more sad, these, speak to them, speak to them, talk to them, and mean it when you talk to them instead of asking people because we asked people how we are all the time. And it's it's it's fluff. Like I don't really care. I don't really I go hey, how you doing, brother? I'm alright. What do you say, oh, man, I'm going through it. And I don't. I'm going whoa, whoa, whoa,

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whoa, whoa, I really didn't

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want all that but that's all I wanted. Yeah, that's true. That's what happens. But But ask people how they are and genuinely mean it and be willing to listen to them willing to listen and know that if you're struggling out there, it is not a sign that you are a horrible person. You know, I mean, the bad person. Don't be afraid to ask for help. But again, they didn't you should especially brothers to find the person that actually cares is another is another problem within all of society, not just within our own life, because where can you actually say How many brothers that you know, sincerely care, like for instance, if you opened up would they bring you back up and say, Are you

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okay? Do you need anything and persist with it? Yeah, no, I wouldn't I can't I can't say that I are gonna lose fingers over you can probably count on your you know on one of your hands for the amount of people that that you believe that you care I'm not saying that everyone around me but you just you have that sort of feeling of you know, okay, I could sense this person well, but this person wants sort of thing. And you have that sort of sort of stressful process and we need to become advocates for Muslim mental health services when those community we need it we need professionals imams are not trained to deal with this all the time. You know, I mean, they're just not and I've

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seen it too many times over where Imams have tried to deal with people with mental health and they've made the situation so much worse. Like we need to start dealing with this in an appropriate manner. Malice Matata make it easy on any whoever is actually going through any any calamity. So can we ask you Mr.

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What is your purpose in life and after all this talk?

00:33:50--> 00:33:52

Stay tuned to next podcast

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Dodger, Mr. Dan, Danny by the noon let's say my Dodge Viper.

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For for anyone who is actually going through any medical, sorry, any any calamity in their life or any mental health.

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Obviously, please seek professional help. That's, that's a given insha Allah.

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Otherwise, you know, don't keep it in knowledge. Don't keep it in, don't hold it in and think you know, you can deal with it because you don't know shaytaan Wallahi shutdown will continue continue to the point of making you commit suicide or disbelieve in Allah subhanaw taala to do something, don't leave it or your bleed. As the statement goes, you'll bleed on people who didn't cut you.

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If you don't heal from more hurt you, you'll bleed on people who didn't cut you. So heal yourselves. Like that actually saying it's actually good.

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Spine alignment, malice pantalla make it easy on them. Just like myself for your time, brother, you shall or would you? Just like what kind of a time inshallah we'll look forward to? Our next podcast? Insha Allah and sha Allah. We're going to make this a regular incident installation for audience so they can get to know us get to know

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Oh, we are what we do in that we're more than just a charity you know I mean like we actually have concern for people because a charity you think of people who are sustaining other people's physical lives but we also want to miss sustain people's spiritual lives right and you know I mean in mental life like the whole whole holistic approach that people we want to keep them alive we want to make sure they're saying and we want to make sure that they make it to paradise in sha Allah Allah spent Allah reward you in sha Allah Tala and reward you as well for taking your time I know it's very hard for you to get here a lot of the times so humbly would love to was one of my tests and trolls in

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this life is Mr. De noon. So

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I have to make I think I have to get up in the third last third of the night sometimes, you know, just to

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handle it Inshallah, as long as you make that for me, that's

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just like we'll set for a time inshallah.

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Malice Pattana reward you all and until next time, just like we'll have Santa Monica