Before You Say I Do – EP13 – PT 1

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Allah has given you a companion and friend to stay and always be seen as man and wife, fulfilling their Deen from this day forever.

Out of the millennium in a shaytani r rajim Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa salatu salam ala rasulillah praise is due to Allah, I made his peace and blessings be upon our beloved prophet muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, when we begin by greeting our brothers and sisters, and our viewers saying, salam, alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh barakato.

And thank you again, for joining us here we're talking about the 10 kind of people that you must avoid. And in the past, we have spoken about the 10 kind of people that we must avoid. And we spoken about the people who have some sort of addiction, and we spoke about playboy and addiction, we gave the example of pornography, alcohol, drugs, TV, gambling, video games, you name it. And then we also spoke about people who do not honor the sanctity of marriage, by committing themselves to a monogamous relationship, sexually monogamous relationship, which is required for those who have committed themselves to a marital relationship. And we spoke about the negative consequence of that

behavior onto the family. And today, we have another kind of person or people, and that is Mr. or Miss better. These are people who are financially irresponsible. These are people who have decided that happiness comes from acquiring things, buying things makes them happy. And because they are so obsessed with this idea of buying things to make themselves happy, they become financially very irresponsible. They buy things they don't need. And it was so beautifully said, we buy things we don't need. With money. We don't have to impress people we don't even like

we get involved, and things like that. And what happens is, in principle, Islam, this testis, and this likes the idea of people borrowing money to begin with, when there is no reason for it. So in the Hadees, for example, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam say Allahumma inni Rosa becoming a coffee woman a day or Allah, I seek refuge in You from being in the state of gopher and from being in the state of Dane deaths, taking a loan. So somebody overheard the processing of as he's making this drawing. He said, Yeah, Rasulullah, sallAllahu, COVID day prophet of Allah, do you equate that with copper? And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, Yes, I do. A person who has cancer,

what happens to them, they are spiritually bankrupt. A person who is in debt is what? They are financially bankrupt. So the processor is saying that I neither want to be spiritually bankrupt. Nor do I want to be financially bankrupt. Nowadays, it's been made so easy for people to borrow money. So easy to borrow money. People borrow money for all kinds of things. They borrow money, I'm not sure how widespread is the usage of credit cards here in India. But in the US, people put everything and anything on a credit card, a cup of coffee, put it on the credit card, anything goes into the credit card. And you know what's funny about the credit cards, they say that people do not think

that they are using money. You know, you don't see yourself giving out money. So people spend because you know, just charges, it's on the card, you don't see the money coming out of your pocket. So you tend to spend more when that is the case. Now, what happens was Mr. Death or or miss death is that these are people who buy things they do not need. And they end up constantly borrowing money financially, they are very irresponsible. I remember once a couple came to me, they're getting a divorce. And they were talking about why they were getting a divorce. And the woman was so frustrated with the financial habits of her husband, he has charged on their credit card $75,000.

The interest, just the interest on the monthly payment that they needed to make was about $450 a month just to cover the interest. They're not even charging, paying anything of the principal. So one day the husband came home and he was very excited. This is few years ago when the camera phones came out. And he came in and he bought the camera phone for over $300 he came in and of course she was very, very angry. She said Why did you get it

his reasoning was, well, it just came out. And I wanted to be amongst the first people who have a camera phone. Okay. And at that point it was selling for about $350. And I said, Well, you know what, you've got $75,000 in your credit card, why do you add up to it? She said, Well, it's only $350 compared to the $75,000, that I've already bought it. So if it's bad, just make it worse. In other words, so these people become very, very irresponsible. I had another sister She came in, and she was so afraid of her husband, she said that the man has got these strange financial habits, we are in debts, he goes out and he buys a brand new car. We don't need a brand new car, we have our

cars. But somehow, people who have got this idea of things make them happy. So they constantly need to buy things with money that they have, or money that they do not have, as long as they are buying it. It's making them happy. That is a person who is financially very, very irresponsible. And what they do is that once they get into this, they take away our sense of financial security. And once you are in a marital relationship with a person who is robbed of giving you this idea or this sense of financial security, then that is also a recipe for disaster. These are people who are so irresponsible, they don't take care of their bills on time, they don't pay on time. But initially,

you may not think that this is a big deal. But believe me, once you get into a medical relationship and see the negative consequence of such a behavior, you will really appreciate the fact that this has been made a point here is another one a person who is recently divorced or widowed. The problem is not that these people are divorced. problem is not that these people are widowed. What is the problem? The problem is with recent Why is this? Why is this? Why is that a problem? It takes time to get over what it takes time to get over your divorce, it takes time to get over the death of a loved one. And if you immediately jump into another relationship with them what happens? People are

not mentally or emotionally ready for that. And you go into them. And sometimes people who are recently divorced, they experience what we call an immediate emotional gap, even though they were in a bad marriage. But at least you know what, somehow they were emotionally involved. The minute that person leaves, they feel empty, and they need to fill that gap quickly. So what happens is, if you come at that point, then that is not good news. So the problem is not wisdom being divorce. Remember that there was a question the other day regarding marrying a person who's divorced our Muslim community, in some parts of it, at least let us say, people have not been very kind, especially to

women who are divorced. So what happens is that, you know, we say that there is no problem with them being divorced. The problem here is with it being recently done. So you want that person to have some time to get over what has just happened to them. And of course, the same thing applies to the person who has just lost their loved ones. Especially if that person still carries tremendous anger and resentment towards previous spouses. Some people have been got, they had their divorce 20 years ago, and they're still mad about it. They're still angry about it, they are not over it, they have not gotten over that to get involved with such kind of a person is not advisable, at least not

immediately, or they still feel guilty or responsible for the previous spouse. Again, they are not over it. You want somebody who does not have any emotional baggage with them from the past, at least not at the point where you want to commit to them or people who are traumatized from being hurt or abused in their past relationship. What happens is that you need to give people some time before you move on with them into another relationship. So again, please I repeat the problem is not with the people being divorced or being widowed. The problem is was it happening recently? Here is another interesting person,

the habitual divorce. These are people who are in the habit of getting married and getting divorced. they marry and somehow in a month or two, they get a divorce. And they are not in it to last but they are not in it to taste. And somehow it is always it is always somebody else fault. I know of a person who divorced 48 times people. They've gotten married and divorced 48 times.

Anybody comes and tells you this person has proposed to me what would

You tell them run, you'd say run, do not even think or consider it at all. You mean to tell me that 48 people were wrong about you, and somehow I am the right one for you. That is just absolutely not acceptable. So you're not special over the 48 other people that we people have had. Now, again, it may be the case that you know what one person they got married, it did not work out, they got a divorce, they got married again, unfortunately, we're talking about maybe once or twice, but we cannot be talking about 48 different times. There is a sub practice that takes place.

That is rich people coming from their countries, meeting young women, in some parts of the world, beat in Morocco. Sometimes it's in India, sometimes in Pakistan. They come and they marry these young girls for a week. And then they leave back to their countries.

And I say that is absolutely wicked. On the surface. Technically, they are right. They came in and they got married. And then they went back, they were here for the week. They knew they were going to be here for the week. They knew they were going to have this marriage last for only a week. And then they went back. If anybody considers such a proposal, I would say please, please think again. This is not done to us. Y'all know what I'm talking about? Y'all know what I'm talking about? Does it happen? People come from overseas, they meet these young girls, they even have recruiters, there was a big article, a three page article in the Los Angeles Times, about five years ago, it was about

these men Muslim and mind you I'm not talking about non Muslims, about Muslim men who come to this certain part of the world. And they have recruiters that will actually gather all the young girls in a room and they will come and they will pick which one it is that they want. And they will say, Okay, I give you my heart for this long. And this man knows how long he's going to be in town for and he has just taken this girl this young for pleasure, because he's offering her family few dollars, and then he's going to leave. Please do not consider such a proposal. This proposal is nothing but a recipe for disaster. What it does, it just kills the future of that individual that

we're talking about. We're going to take a short break inshallah, please stay tuned and we will be back momentarily.