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Is Your Family Pet Better Than Your Family Member?

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Yassir Fazaga

Channel: Yassir Fazaga

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

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regime smilla rahmanir rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa Salatu was salam, ala MV mursaleen sheffey Alamos Navy now Javier Abdullah Al Ameen. Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallahu Allahu Allah early he was so happy to be in a PA hearing in Al Hamdulillah who want to study you want to start Pharaoh who wanna study? When are we learning? mysuru am fusina was he at the AMA Lena Maja de la jolla mobile de la Houma util fella. Hurry Ella.

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Ella is Allahu la sharika Juana Mohammedan sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Abu rasuluh Bella Rizal

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with alcohol. More later how can a hurry her lazy one her Illa Holic am back for inasa Cunha defeatable law hiral Howdy, howdy Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam In the Name of Allah, the Compassionate, The Most Merciful All praise is due to Allah. We have a witness that no one is worthy of worship but Allah and we bear witness that Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is indeed his final messenger. The best of speech is the book of Allah. And the best of guidance is the guidance of Mohammed sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, Yama Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa salam o la escuela buena jell O Allah. Allah Xena Manu o en Pooja como la coonara waku Johannes one era.

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Allah subhanho wa Taala speaks and addresses the believers or you believe protect yourself. Protect your family, your children, your spouses, against the blazing fire of hell.

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May Allah subhanaw taala save us from the fire of hell Europa aalameen. And may Allah Subhana, Allah subhanho wa Taala accept our fasting during the month of Ramadan. And may Allah make us of those who are better after the month of Ramadan than they were before or during the month of Ramadan. A

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few weeks back,

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I was invited to give a present a presentation about Islam in the church.

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And hamdulillah. The presentation went well. And after the presentation, a young beautiful couple came to me and they said you know it was announced that you are a therapist, can we please talk to you we have a private matter.

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And I said sure.

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So we went into private area.

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And we sat down and both of them immediately started crying.

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And they said that we have just had a loss in our family.

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We lost one of our babies.

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So hi Lola, the saddest thing that can happen to a parent is to outlive our children.

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Because as parents, we believe that

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That we go first, and life is ahead of our children. And then our children will have their children and so forth. Parents go first, and then the children remain and what have you. So it's very sad when you have a parent that outlives their children. So rightly so these people were really devastated. They were long pauses in the conversation with people would stop. And then they would tell me about what has happened with their child who's their baby.

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And all the sorts of adjustments that they made. excited about having that baby.

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They will talk about how they had the big house. But once they had the baby, they moved into a smaller house, not the other way around. They had a big house, and they downsize, they move into a smaller house, because the new house was much closer to the park. And they wanted the children to play as much as possible.

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They changed their work schedule, so that there is a parent with their babies all the time. They made sure that somehow they accommodate the house show that it is as inviting as beautiful to these babies. And then they would speak about their loss, big loss that they have had, because of the loss of their baby.

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They would speak about the excitement of their baby when they go to the park. When it was time to get into the car, the babies would know that this is the time to go to the park and they would just be so excited. And they would tell me all sorts of stories about what the babies did when they knew that they were going to the park and Savannah law. All of the sudden, they were devastated. He said that you know what, this is the greatest loss that they have experienced so far.

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And as they talking to me, they also told me that they are seeing a counselor, a specialist in loss and grief. I spoke to them and hamdulillah I think it went well.

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But I have to tell you who the babies were.

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The babies were not real babies.

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It was a chihuahua dog.

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This is not a joke.

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It was a chihuahua dog.

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They refer to it as this is our baby.

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And Subhanallah you know that the point here is not whether you can have a dog halala 100. That's not that's not the point.

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But sometimes people are really attached to their pets. You love a cat you love a dog you love whatever it is a hamster whatever it is. But these people said that that was a baby.

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And Subhanallah what is really interesting about this story is the amount of dedication that they have for the baby. People living in a big house, they said we need to get a smaller house because now we have adopted their babies the Chihuahuas

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and we cannot afford to live in such a big place. We want the two hours to be as close to the park as possible. We want to be good to the Chihuahuas.

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They were telling me about how they change their schedule so that the father can walk them the morning time, and the mother would walk them in the evening as well. These people change their schedules so that they can be with the Chihuahuas.

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The beds are too high for the Chihuahuas to jump and be with them. They bought little stairs so that the Chihuahuas can get on the bed with them.

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So Mama, I am listening to this, and I'm saying these people are more dedicated to the Chihuahuas than some of us being dedicated to our children.

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People sometimes are more dedicated to their pets than they are to their children. And especially in this place that we live in people love pets, especially cats and dogs. It is estimated that there are about 77 point 5 million dogs in the US

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estimated that there are about 93 point 7 million cats in the US.

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The average people in the US spend about $52 billion a year on their pets. There is $1 billion a month spent on pets. People are so crazy about their pets, that somebody actually wrote a book titled one nation under a dog.

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Not one nation under God, no one nation under dog. And he tells the story as to why he wrote that book.

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He said one day, somebody gave us a chihuahua and we adopted the Chihuahua. So we left the Chihuahua at home. But the dog was barking all day long that the neighbors was so bothered by it, that they call the police. So we had to take the dog to the vet.

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And we thought that the vet what was happening was the dog and he said, that is normal. This is a psychological disorder that dogs have and it is called separation anxiety. And you know what? There are PASOK depression medications. It's called puppy Prozac.

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You actually give puppies

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and as I am listening to this, I remember the heaviness of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam narrated by a boozer collected by Al Hakim and his Muslim when the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says, the LT Allah nurse is a man Oh, yeah, the nurses and

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the Anurag B, I had him draw one, I have a human and europei, when

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he said that there will be a time when for people it would be more dear to them to raise a puppy than it is to raise a child

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at a time like this is going to come.

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But why would somebody prefer to raise a puppy than they would be to raise a child. And somehow, please imagine the industry that is out there. If you have a dog, a puppy or a cat, you got a psychologist, just treating disorders for pets. You've got a psychologist treating people who lost a pet, you've got the vets, you've got the grooming, you've got people who babysit pets, you've got people who walk the pets, you've got medication for the pets, you've got toys. For the West, you've got food, organic food for the pets. In some stores, they treat pets like babies. And what they do is that they put the baby food next to the cat food next to the dog food. Because some have babies

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and some have dogs and some have cats.

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You look into this and you say, what is what is going on? Why is it that people prefer to raise a puppy than they would prefer to raise a child. And we're told that some people do so in order to fill the social gaps that they have in their lives. Families are very disconnected. neighbors don't know one another. As somebody said, Let me explain to you my neighborhood. seven in the morning that garage doors go up seven in the evening, the garage doors go down. And that is the end of our neighborhood. People don't know each other families is staying apart from one another. And as a result, there is a social gap. And people don't know how to fill that social gap. So I'm going to

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have a puppy to raise. And that is how I am going to fill my social gaps. In some areas, the social gaps are so bad. They had a study in Florida, where there are many senior citizens who live on their own. And one bank notice that these senior citizens would come and they would have some really pointless transactions, can I deposit $20 in this account and take $10 from that account, can I have five singles, four quarters, and people are looking into these transactions and they saying these are very sorry, transactions. These are not new transactions. And what they found out is that these senior citizens were so lonely, the only person that they would talk to was the bank teller.

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So they would come in, and they would talk to the bank teller for as long as they could because this will be the only conversation that they will have during the day. The bank got very tired of them and the bank passed a policy. You can only come and speak to the teller twice a month, otherwise, we're going to make your pay.

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Do everything via the machine. Don't talk to people do it over the net, pay this and pay that it's conveniency. But it has resulted in this big social gaps. We actually had a client came to the therapist and said, Look, I am telling you my father and my mother will lie they love their family dog more than they love their children.

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And this person is coming to their therapy because because of this.

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said my parents pay more attention to the dog and to the pets in the family than do pay attention to me or my other siblings. Then some parents will tell you yes that is the case. I have never been betrayed by my dog. I have never been called names by my dog.

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I have never had my secrets being let out by my dog.

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My dog is always excited when they see me

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Have you noticed the level of enthusiasm that the dog or the pet would meet the owners and look, we come in, and it does not matter. We don't see mood changes in our pets. The pets are always enthusiastic, and they're very happy to see us. But the sad part my brothers and sisters is that sometimes we treat our pets more and better than we treat our own children.

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Imagine this, they say nowadays, it is so crazy. There are these dogs and these cats are given human names. It's no longer is Skippy and frisky. And these are no longer than names. These are real humans names, where people would punish their children go to your room, but I want the dog next to me, I want to pat on that cat.

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But to Corolla, why? Why is this happening? And sometimes, we are more forgiving of our threats than we are of our own children. Just listen to people like the dog and the cat makes the house smell so bad. Why don't you get rid of it? What do you mean get rid of it? Do you know how long we have had that cat or that dog for? And we will be very offended if you suggest this. Imagine cats love to scratch on the couches and the sofa and the beds and the walls and and people say my cat is so knotted likes to do this all the time. Why don't you get rid of it? No, man, I love the cat. Now imagine the kids spilling some juice over there. And Subhanallah he will never hear the end of it

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but very forgiving to the pets. To the point that somebody said I wish I was the dog or the cat of the family because of how good of a treatment they receive than they do. We actually had the sister coming in and they said I wish that my husband would treat me the same way that he treats the cats in the family.

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My brothers and sisters why why would we do this? Now it's beautiful that people care for the pets Mashallah, that is really nice. And you know, it's the sooner if you have a pet that you absolutely give it a name, that if you have a pet that you actually be good to it. We are forbidden from cursing pets or cursing animals that is all part of the sooner that is all beautiful. We're not forgiving people for that. But why is it that our commitment is less than the people's commitment to their own pets? Have you noticed that some of your neighbors will be up at four in the morning, five in the morning, because that is the only time that they have to walk the dog. We all know this.

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There is always that neighbor that would work that would wake up at five in the morning to well to walk the dog care. Why don't you come for preacher prayers? Why is it your neighbor has more dedication and commitment to the dog than we do to God?

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Why is it that these people would downsize from having a big house into a smaller house so that they be good to their dogs? But we don't do this with our own families. People come in and complain say please, I just wanted to be treated like a pet in the family.

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We treat our children like our pets. And we treat our pets like our children

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wants them. This is when we're so kind and compassionate to the pets. But we are very abusive to our family members can be verbally abusive of our family members calling them names. names that are just absolutely unacceptable that you call your children. You're an idiot, you're an airhead. You're a bonehead. You're a cheeseburger, and people just have got a long list of names that they have for the children. But know that name is to be given to the plight of the family. People can be so very abusive of their spouses, wives calling husbands all sorts of names you loser good for nothing sorry that I married you. So are the husband's very verbally abusive of their wives?

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Why is it that we can be very abusive physically towards our own families, we've never touched the pets of the family

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can hit people break their ribs, give them black eyes, make them ache marks on their faces and on their bodies, but we would not dare to touch the pet of the family. to the to the point that people will say, Man, I wish I was the cat of the family because that that receives better treatment than I do. That is sad my brothers and sisters. That is sad. When some people treat animals better than we treat our own selves better than we treat human beings. That is not acceptable. That is not acceptable to the point that somebody suggested that our families would absolutely

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be happier if we treat one another the same way that we treat our pets, being forgiving of them, enthusiastic when we see them, and just being affectionate when we give them the attention and the love said, our families are going to be better. Three reminders, please, to make our families better. We like to refer to them as the triple A, and maybe you have heard this before. In order to have a happy family, three A's are required. Attention, affection, appreciation, people want attention. Subhan Allah Have you noticed when your child does anything, Dad, Dad, look, I can jump there. Look, I can ride my bike. Mom, Mom, look, I can do this. This, I can do that. And the point

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is, please give me some attention here. I like it to know that my parents absolutely care. And the way that you translate this is by showing a petition. Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam for Primo would walk in his daughter, it does not matter who's sitting with him. It does not matter how big and important that delegation is the Prophet sallallahu Ali would get up kiss his daughter on the forehead in front of everybody and he would recur and he would have her sit next to him, my daughter, you are more important than this delegation.

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My daughter, I care about you more than I care for this delegation. Have you seen Have you heard of children telling that that that can you please come and sit with us but can you please leave your BlackBerry behind

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that can you please come with us but can you please not be on the internet? They are Can you please put your laptop or just few minutes and spend some time with us people begging for that time that they want to spend with us. And then we want to be good parents. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says because I will mark Eastman on Yuba Yamanaka it suffices to label one as a sinner that one day very negligent of their duties to those who are dependent on them. appreciation we want to be acknowledged it is nice to know that somebody actually notices what you have done and they appreciate you know what this article here for doing this Mashallah, you've been taking good care of

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the house Mashallah, this is beautiful food, Mashallah jacala paid for working so hard to provide the family jacala pay for taking care of the kids juggle, okay for doing this to us. And the point is, people say, you know, I worked so hard during the day, and when I go home and my wife or my husband, the other words of appreciation to me said it's like you know what, no matter how difficult that day was just that word of appreciation. It makes me feel so good. I forget all the the tiredness and the weariness that I had during the day, people love to be appreciated. Please appreciate your children. Appreciate your wives appreciate your husbands. Just point that out. And

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Subhanallah we are very quick and criticizing people. We can be very critical about this not clean about that not supernova. Imagine this. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam being a husband for over 40 years,

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got married at the age of 25 died at the age of 63. About 38 years and you know what they said about him? Mahabharata Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

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The Prophet peace be upon him, never criticized food before, especially criticizing food in the presence of the one who prepared it. It was somehow one of my favorite stories about the Prophet peace be upon him. So that one man bought some grapes to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said that he was so excited about his grades, that he would actually take it and put it in the mouths of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam could imagine how beautiful that is taking the grade and putting it in his mouth. And the person who would eat it and the man just could not believe what he is doing. So he would wait. The processor would show it and then he would give him

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another one and the person would take it. So the man gave the processor the one and then he took on himself. And as soon as he crushed it he could not believe how sour it wasn't he sprinted out

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and he looked at him and he said

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Is it all like this? And the processor looked at him. It is all like this.

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Why didn't you say anything? And the process of him said you had a big smile on your face. I did not want to take it away from you.

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Man that is beautiful.

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That is beautiful. And that is I am going to appreciate all the way

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Third one, affection.

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People love to be loved.

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And they love to be told that they are loved. That's just how we are. I love you is music to our ears. People don't get tired of I love you. No matter how many times you say it's just music to our ears, if we want to hear it this, children want to hear it. Parents want to hear it. 1000s want to hear it. And we offer this and Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would just be going around just speaking so much about this idea of love. That is whole gender. Meanwhile I have Boonen is going to be admitted to paradise unless you all believe or not really believes unless there is mutual love amongst yourselves. So please remember them. Attention, appreciation, and affection. And that is

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insha Allah how we will have good families of hula, hula, hula, hula hula

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wa Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah. Mustafa, while I'm an attorney actor for

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the month of October,

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is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

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Sometimes these ideas are really brilliant.

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And there is to dedicate an entire month to bring to the attention of the community of a societal ill, that is taking place. And unless we collectively pay attention to it, in our these social ills, don't just go away by themselves.

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This is the month when we are reminded that every 25 seconds, a woman in the US is either pushed, slap, Punched, or somebody spitting on her face. This is the time that we are reminded out of every eight domestic violence victims is actually a senior citizen. This is the one where we are being made aware of what happens to children who grow up in an environment where domestic violence takes place. Brothers and sisters, there is nothing manly about hitting your wife. You are less of a man, when you think that you can practice your power over another woman that makes you less of a man, not more of a man.

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And we are told about Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he never laid a hand on a woman or a child. That does not make you manly.

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And we in the Muslim community reject that. There is nothing Islamic about hitting somebody else. There is none. especially children. Remember that he's here at the aliveness. He's a man and europea to whom Joe and I have worked in a human and Europe be while again, law you have coffee carry, well are you have his use of you. He said that there will be a time when people would prefer to raise a puppy than they do, then they prefer to raise a child. And if he said during that time, the elders are not respected. and compassion is not shown to those who are young.

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As a result of this, so there is nothing Islamic about doing this. We reject it. But rejecting it does not mean that it is absent from our community. We are rejected. But it is also a reality in our community. It does happen brothers and sisters. It does take place. Sometimes it takes place by people who come to the masjid good Muslims, brothers and sisters, because women can also be abusive of their husbands. Many times read you know what I am just going to call the police on you and say that you hit me. I want to see you in jail. But he didn't do it. I know he didn't do it. But I'm going to teach him a lesson. But he did not do it. That is fabricating a lie against your husband

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against the father of your children. And you're going to do this though I'm going to do that. That is a form of abuse. For the man who actually goes out there to hit his wife that is a form of abuse, verbally, emotionally, psychologically financially abusing our families, brothers and sisters, there is no room for this in Islam. So we rejected if we are that person. If we are the perpetrator of such a crime, we'll say look, there is always help that inshallah that you can take. And if you are a victim or a survivor of this crime, there is also a reminder for you that people do care. People have not forgotten you. People would love to help you if you come in sha Allah to the place where

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help is provided and hamdulillah. We have got a beautiful organization in our

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myths here that will look not only after the victim, but also after the perpetrator of that crime and police, both of you are invited to come and benefit from the services rendered in that place. Access California, a social service agency that's got many, it's very, very resourceful. Insha Allah on your way out, make sure that you pick one of these pamphlets, you may not need it, but somebody else may may need it. And please remember in these difficult times, hitting people is not the answer. being abusive of your family is not the answer, taking your anger and frustration because there is no job because there is a financial stress on you, please, that is not the answer. If you

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need help, that is when communities come together. So please, if you are any of these people, please inshallah, stop by our office, make an appointment, and we will do our very best to help. Now if you're a community member, and you happen to be doing well. Please also let us know give you an example. A sister is stuck and she said I cannot go anywhere because I don't have a car. For whatever reason the husband is not available family is not around. I just need a car. I know that some of us you know we upgrade our car sometimes. And if you were to sell your car, it won't really give you that much money, but you can say look, I can really donate this car. I can have somebody

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else benefit from that car. If you are that person, please inshallah do see me afterwards and Suppan Allah discord can go a long way, unbelievable ways, people who can go to the doctor because they don't have a court, people who can attend school because of this, people who cannot take their children to school because of something like that. So please insha Allah do show your help and do show your support in our community. jurmala here along we are being the cartoon Kareem Abdul aquasana along now before I mean, one of his Karbala crew been working with Diana Medina in a long number Hamilton was femur bone wahaca Asana Rafi MK Telenor wachstum bisol Houthi rebels, Elena

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when Han Sasha will

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come to the Quran. Allah hi come. Watch guru Allah.

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Allahu Akbar Allahu Allah Matos marone. Welcome, Salam.