Channel: Yasmin Mogahed
Series: Yasmin Mogahed - Serenity
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Salam aleikum. This is Yasmin Mujahid and you're listening to serenity streaming live on one legacy Radio Hour the Billahi min ash shaytani r rajim Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim er salatu salam ala rasulillah. While Allah He was a happy edge mine. Today is a special show. We are continuing to take your questions at Serenity at one legacy radio.com. And we are also taking your questions at the chat box, we ask you to continue to write to us, we are devoting today's show to a very important topic and it's something that a lot of people struggle with. And that is the topic of overcoming depression, sadness, and anxiety. Now I want to, you know, encourage you all to write to us,
serenity at one legacy radio.com a one thing that we want to hear from you, we want to hear from you about your questions, we want to hear from you about your experiences, but also, we'd like you to send us your inspirational stories as well, perhaps, you know, maybe a story about something that you heard on the show, or maybe something that you read or anything in your life that that inspired you, or that changed something or transformed a certain aspect of your life or, or helped you in some way. And inshallah what we will be doing is we'll be choosing, I'll be choosing from those and sharing them live inshallah, and I will I won't be using anybody's name, it will be completely
anonymous, just like the questions will be as well. But but we want to hear from you. We want to hear you know, want to hear about your struggles, but we also want to hear about the triumphs and you want to hear about the inspirational stories, how things affected you, maybe something that you gained, and something that you learned and something that that helped you, with you or your family or your friends. And also please do when you do send your messages to serenity at one legacy radio.com mentioned Where were you live mentioned that the city the the state the country, inshallah so we can have an idea of you know, where where we are because I I you know, we truly are a global
family and hamdulillah and we have people listening from all over the world. So we want to hear from you want to know where it is that you are listening from and and where you're located. So inshallah today, I want to start off the show. And this is a show, again, talking about a serious topic, a topic that a lot of people do struggle with. But I want to I want to start off today's show with with actually an inspirational story of one of my readers that I received. And the letter begins does echolocating ismene I'm reading this article after a year, and thinking that this is the article that in fact changed me. I was never really into a snap. nor was I practicing that much. My
life was in darkness with people who only brought me down to a person who wasn't really meant to be. So I fell deep into the dunya I did things that I am not proud of at all. I kept failing and failing and falling and falling. I was stumbling and I didn't know myself anymore until one night, something terrible happened. And I knew at that moment that Allah was in fact always there. But it was me who was ignoring him, ignoring the Creator. That night I told myself that it that enough was enough. And I came back into Islam. I came back to him. After that night I went on a journey to change my life. That journey with Allah being my captain, I was able to turn my life 360 degrees. today. I don't
remember my life without the hijab. Today, I don't remember my life without praying or going daily to the masjid or going to my daily Hall office. Yes, mean, I cannot thank you enough for posting this article. And really getting deep into everyone's heart. I listened to what you said, I took the keys from the dunya and gave them to the Creator. You are such an inspiration inspiring woman and I look up to thank you so so much.
Now I read this, and Subhanallah these are the types of stories that really inspire me personally, to see how someone can turn their life around how someone can as as the sister says, Take the keys that one gives to dunya and give it back to Allah subhanaw taala these are the keys of one's heart and whenever you know a person gives their heart to donia. The dunya is is not something that that you should ever give your heart to because when you give your heart to dunya dunya breaks your heart and it's it's kind of like if you want
dounia to stop breaking your heart, stop giving your heart to dunya. It's really a simple formula. But we continue to give our hearts back over and over and over to the same place that keeps breaking it. And we don't realize what the problem is. And the problem really is that we're placing our heart in the wrong hands. And oftentimes, we place our hearts in the dunya, in the things of the dunya. And specifically in the creation in the hands of the creation. And and rather, we should be giving our hearts to an only to Allah subhanho wa Taala. So that brings me to our first question. The the listener says, Why do I feel so down and depressed, I've been like this for the past few months,
it's damaging me, and I'm increasingly stressed about my graduate job, and how I'm delighted to begin with it went well, but past five months have gotten so hard and difficult, I'm trying to remain strong, but I'm falling into this hole deeper, please help. Now, this is, you know, this, this is one person's experience. But I'm, you know, I'm certain that this is something a lot of people can relate to this person is, is describing this feeling of being down and depressed, and pretty much very, very stressed out and overwhelmed by what they're doing. And there's a lot of issues here. One is the issue of feeling sort of weighed down this, this, this feeling of, I have
too much to carry, I have too much on my plate. Now, oftentimes, the reason why we feel that way, is because we're trying to carry everything on our own, we're trying to carry the weight on our by ourselves, this is a result of trying to take things on by one's self. So when you when you face a difficulty, for example of difficulty comes to you or you're you're having to deal with a stressful situation, or you have a very challenging, you know, I have a challenge in front of you, you have a challenging job or a challenging relationship, or whatever it happens to be a calamity, whatever it is, and when when that faces you, or you have to carry this, you, you sort of brace yourself and you
say, Okay, I got this right, I'm going to I'm going to take this on. And and the mistake that we make is that we try to take it on ourself, we try to carry it ourselves, we try to rely on our own means, and our own actions and our own selves. And it's this concept of self reliance, right? We live that's the culture we live in, right? It's about independence and right, we don't depend on other people, but we depend on ourselves. And you know, sometimes, you know, whether it is that we are going to other people to depend on or we are or we are depending on our own selves, it's actually the same, because other people are a creation and myself is also a creation and by
definition, the creation is weak, Allah subhanaw taala says that he created mankind weak the if we are weak, by by our very nature, we cannot depend on ourselves, we cannot depend on other people completely we cannot we cannot put our full dependence. And again, I want to clarify because this does not mean that we cannot seek help from the creation, it does not mean we cannot will does not mean we can't seek help from people, but it means that our full reliance and our dependency can never be on the creation and can never be on one's own self. Because then it will break the creation is not, is not is not designed to be able to take on that type of weight that we have. And so when
we deal with a problem, whether it's your graduate job, the stress from your, from your career, the stress from your family life, just you know the stress from school, or whatever it is that you're dealing with, you will always feel weighed down if you're relying on yourself or if you're relying on something else other than Allah subhana wa Tada. So the The answer is that we need to go back to Allah subhanaw taala and not try to carry our problems by ourselves, but rather turn to Allah with them. And Subhanallah it's like it's such an obvious answer. It's such an obvious thing to do, but we usually step right over what is obvious and go to what is you know, less obvious. Allah subhanaw
taala says, Well, I caught her lakanal in Santa Ana Allah mama to West Swiss will be enough so when I have no Accra boo la him and hublin worried. Allah is saying here that he is the one who created mankind. And he knows what dark whispers are neffs say to us what what whispering our neffs gives and he is closer than our juggler.
vein, Allah is saying that he's closer than the basically a human beings Lifeline, the jugular vein, the vein in the neck, is the is the vein that brings brings the blood to the heart. And this vein, if cut the person or the, you know, the the the, the person is immediately will die, or very, very quickly thereafter, because this is the lifeline. And Allah is saying that he's closer than that. So he's closer than our own lifeline. And yet Subhana Allah, Allah is so close to us, Allah is closer to us than our own self. But yet we step over what is closer to us to what is farther away. And we end up putting our dependence on what's farther away. Big Oh, you know over what is closer, it's
it's kind of an interesting thing that we do. When we're faced with a stress, when we're faced with a problem. Usually, the first thing we do is we turn to the means we turn to the creation. So if I have stress, you know, one, one simple example. If I feel sick, for example, I have a headache. And and again, this doesn't mean that we don't turn to the means at all. But immediately, my first thought is, I have a headache. Let me go take some Tylenol, right, let me go take some medicine, and then the medicine doesn't work. Okay, well, now let me Wow, this headache isn't going away, maybe I should call a doctor. So I call a doctor, I go in, I see the doctor, the doctor checks me out, does
a million tests, the headache still is not going away. And actually it's getting worse. Okay, so I saw a general practitioner, now I'm going to see a specialist. So then I go to the specialist. And now the specialist also cannot figure out why I have this headache and cannot cure it. And then that specialist sends me to another specialist. Right. So now I'm going, you know, from from means to means to means from creation, to creation, to creation, and all along, I'm putting my expectation in that to cure me. And and every time it doesn't, I go to the next I go to the next. And then finally, I get to maybe a doctor that says you know what, we have no idea what's wrong with you, we there is
nothing absolutely that we can do for you. And it is only then it is then and only then that I turn and I make the loss of Hannah dialler it's only then that I turn to Allah and I ask Allah for help. Look, you're me. And this is at exactly the opposite order that we're supposed to be dealing with things. When something faces me, my immediate, my immediate response, immediately I should be turning to Allah Subhana Allah. and thereafter, I go to the means. Because I know, ultimately, I know this for a fact that the means whether it's the doctor, or the Tylenol, or the specialist, the means is not what's curing me, the means cannot cure the means has absolutely no power in and of
itself, except by Allah subhanaw taala, Allah is the one who cures Allah is the one in control. And so I'm very clear about that, that we will immediately when something is difficult, or I'm struggling with something or something is very stressful, I turn immediately to the one who can actually solve it, and the one who is closer to me than my own jugular vein. And then thereafter, I go to the means because Allah subhanaw taala uses the means as a tool, but he is the one in control. That's what we have to keep in mind. So when we get you know, the if you're feeling stressed by your because of your job, you're feeling down and you're feeling depressed, and if you know if it's a
result of this, we need to really re prioritize where we're turning for help, and where we're putting our reliance.
The next question, for the past five months, I have felt really, really down in misery and just deeply distressed overall. And I don't know how to get out of this state, things have become difficult in my graduate job and hamdulillah to begin with, it was going well, but now it's so difficult, I feel lost. Again, you know, it's the same the stress of our job or the stress of our career. You know, something I want to also point out about this issue is I I don't want to discount the the presence of biological reasons for sadness and depression. I'm not saying that all of sadness and depression can only be explained by spiritual reasons there there definitely are
psychological and biological reasons that can contribute to this. You know, this state. However, however, there is for every, you know, for every disease, there is a cure. Allah subhanaw taala tells us that that and and and we also know that Allah does give us ways and gives us means and gives us understandings within spirituality.
Within our relationship with him which can aid us which can help us even even when it is biological and that isn't again to say that that it may you know completely take it away or completely solve it if it is, but but this definitely Allah subhanaw taala does give us tools in order to alleviate these these symptoms inshallah and and and give us peace and give us peace of mind inshallah I will continue with the questions inshallah after this short break when we return on serenity.
Salam Alaikum This is histamine Mujahid and you're listening to serenity streaming live on one legacy radio. We are speaking today about the topic of sadness, depression, anxiety, we're taking your questions. We have received some questions and and we asked you, again, Chawla to write in your questions at Serenity at one legacy radio.com. Share with us your questions. Let us know where you're writing from what what country or city you're living in. Also, we want to hear from you about your inspirational stories, stories about something that happened in your life that inspired you something you read something you heard on the show, inshallah, we will be sharing those as well.
The next question is, my friends two eyes are not answered, and she's depressed. I don't know how to help. This is also a common question. People oftentimes feel frustrated, and they get depressed when things are not working out the way that they want. And they feel that their dogs are not being answered their supplications they asked Allah subhanaw taala for something again and again and again. And it's not happening and they get very frustrated. And you no doubt about that. Now, this is a question, which I think in order to really understand it, we have to change our perspective. A lot of times, what we do is we use Allah subhanaw taala. And what we really want to achieve is
something in the dunya, we want something of the dunya we want a good job, or we want a lot of money, or we want to marry a specific person. And we, you know, we use Allah subhanaw taala like a genie in a bottle, where we you know, we try to make a wish, right? We're making a wish, you know, you rub the bottle a couple times you make a wish. And then when that wish isn't coming true, we get really frustrated, and we kind of throw the bottle away, right? And Subhanallah this is this is not a loss of handle that Allah is not a genie in a bottle, Allah is the goal himself. You know, and what we've done is we have made dunya the goal, we have made our goals in dunya our money or I want
to marry so and so or I want this job or I want to be in this school and and that is actually our goal. And we use a lot of panel data as the tool, we use Allah subhanaw taala as the means to get to our goal. So we're using Allah as the tool. In order to get to dunya and Subhana Allah it's supposed to be the exact opposite, where we are using dunya to get to Allah Subhana Allah, Allah is the goal of Allah is the only goal. Allah is the ultimate goal. And everything else is it should be ultimately was created to be a means was created to be the tool and the vehicle to take us to Allah subhanho wa Taala. This doesn't mean that we can't ask Allah for things, it doesn't mean that we
shouldn't make to offer the things we want. In fact, Allah does love for us to ask of him. But what we need to realize is that when Allah subhanaw taala does not give us what we asked for. It may be because it is better for us. It may be because Allah subhanaw taala in his ultimate and infinite knowledge knows that there may be a better means to get to him than the one we're asking for. So suppose I want to marry a particular person. And I'm asking a lot day and night and I'm waking up for a pm and I'm doing everything I'm fasting and and I'm asking Allah subhanaw taala I really want to marry this person, and it just doesn't happen. And if if that person is my goal, then this is
when I get very frustrated and I can even become angry at a loss of Hannah with Allah. Allah Why aren't you working for me? As if Allah is working for us? And Allah subhanaw taala needs to you know, fulfill every wish that we asked for as if he's working for us. Our the villa, Allah is not a genie that's working for us. But rather Allah is the goal. Allah is also the means that we get to anywhere. So we're asking Allah subhanaw taala for this person say we want to marry, but part of that is we are asking a law firm in Quinta Dalam and the hair the law firm hired only fee Dini woman as she walked up to me. Part of this the the supplication for staccato for example.
So we pray istikhara but we're not really praying as the Hata is to kata is is really saying Oh Allah if you you know in your knowledge if the if you know that this thing is good for me hire only fee Dini, what am I she in my Deen and in my livelihood so in dunya and in Africa in my Deen and in my dunya then and only then we ask for Kaduna, hooli, or your sera Holy somatically fee. So may write it for me and make it easy for me and give me blessing in it. So we are asking Allah subhanaw taala only if this thing is good for me, then make it happen. And then we go on to say what and Quinta Talon and the hair the long shutter only fee Dini mama she walked Liberty armory for serif
who only was serif neon who walk the door a little higher hi tokens. So mardini be perfect dot because then we say and if you know that this thing is not good for me, it is bad for me, then take it away from me and take me away from it. and thereafter right for me what is good for me. And finally we say for Maldini be and make me pleased with it. So in the DA of istikhara See, we pray istikhara but we don't really mean it, we pray is the quarter and in the door. Obviously harder we are saying that if this thing is good for me make it happen. Write it for me make it easy and put blessing in it. And if it is not good for me, then take it away from me and take me away from it.
And then give me what is good and make me pleased with it. This is what we are asking Allah Subhana Allah so when you're making that, and it doesn't work out, then know that this wasn't good for you. Because you're asking Allah subhanaw taala if this is good for me make it happen. If not, don't make it happen. And it doesn't happen. So we have to learn to let go, we have to learn to realize that whatever it was you were making die for, what is the ultimate purpose? What is the ultimate purpose of you wanting to marry so and so what is the ultimate purpose of you wanting to get into this particular school? What is the ultimate purpose of you wanting to make this amount of money or get
this career, ultimately the purpose should be if you're wise and you want to actually hold on to it is for Allah subhanaw taala because everything else is passing away could lumen Allah has been the only thing that's remaining is the face of Allah subhanaw taala. So the only thing of what you have that's going to remain with you are those things that you gave for his sake are those things that you did for his sake, or those things that you did, because of him and through him and for him. Everything else is just passing away. And I'm going to just give you this example because it exemplifies the point. And that is something simple like eating an apple, when I eat an apple that
act itself can be in one of three categories. That act can either be something which I get good deeds for something which is neutral, or something that's actually I'm getting bad deeds for. And I'll tell you how, even though it's the same act, my intention, my state of heart, my my focus of heart, why I'm doing it can transform it from being something that is that I'm getting rewarded for, to something neutral, I'm getting, you know, not rewarded or punished or something that I may be punished for. And I'll give you I'll tell you why. If I'm eating that Apple, and my intention of eating that Apple is I'm eating this apple suppose you're eating the apple in Soho. And your
intention is I'm eating this apple so that I can fast. I'm eating this apple as part of my Soho in compliance with the Sunnah of the Prophet sighs element eating Soho, and I'm eating this in order to have enough food that I am able to worship Allah subhanaw taala through fasting, then that act of eating the apple actually becomes a good deed for you actually are rewarded for it.
If I'm eating the apple just because I like the apple, and there is no other reason, then that's the neutral category. I'm not doing it for a lesser penalty. No but it's there's no there's nothing hard on whether we eating an apple, it's Helen. So I'm just I'm eating an apple. So that's neutral. Now that that category is something that is not harming me, but it's not. It's not helping me either. As soon as I eat that Apple, I have this maybe momentary pleasure of the taste. I like the applause I momentarily satiate my hunger. But what happens after that? it disintegrates, it's gone. That act is gone. I don't actually hold on to it. I don't there's nothing I'm retaining from it couldn't be la
has said everything is passing away. So that Apple is gone. The Act is gone. The pleasure of eating, it is gone. I didn't hold on to any part of that act.
Or, or have the apple itself it's gone. Now the third category is when I have a, a,
an intention that is displeasing to Allah, for example, maybe I'm eating that Apple because I don't want to eat because I'm on a diet. And the reason I'm on a diet because I want to look really good in a bikini. Okay, so now I'm eating the apple. And I have an intention, that's actually something that is displeasing to Allah subhana wa Tada. And so here, we have these three, you know, the same Act, which can be actually completely different, although externally look exactly the same. And that's because the heart of the Act is different and the intention is different. So my, my intention is, is when it's for Allah subhanaw taala. And it's in a way that's pleasing to Him. I'm actually
holding on to that is only the first category, the one where I'm doing it for his sake, that I'm actually benefiting from it ultimately, even then the middle one, even the one where there's no, there's nothing wrong with it. But ultimately, I'm still losing. Right I'm still you know, Allah subhanaw taala speaks about people in sort of philosophy says that mankind is in a state of loss, weight loss in Nell insana left the horse, mankind in general is in a state of loss. Everything we do and everything we have, we're losing it except and there's only one select group of people who are not losing. Even that Apple is not being lost even the act of eating the Apple is not being
lost. lol Edina Amano waarmee will solly hottie what also will hockey What are sub sub, except those who believe and do righteous deeds, and enjoying one another to truth and enjoying one another to patients, only that group who are doing this for seeking Allah subhanaw taala actually hold on, and they are not in the category of mankind who are in a state of loss. So if you really want to, you know, hold on to this life any any part from this life, it only that which is for Allah subhanaw taala sake is something that you're actually going to hold on to
the next question. What makes me sad is that at the age of 37, still, I didn't settle my mission in this world, which led me to contribute for the society and return to get a job from a law sometimes makes me really sad, even if I overcome it later.
So this, this person is feeling that they haven't, you know, they had goals for themselves. Now they're feeling like, they're 37 years old, they had these goals, and they didn't achieve these goals. And this, this is depressing for the person. And I think that sometimes this happens again, because we set our goal wrong, we set our ultimate goal wrong, for example, something which is yes, it's it's a it's a lofty goal to contribute for society. But is that really our goal? Or is that a means to when we contribute to society when we make a difference in society? Why ultimately do we want to do that? Is it is it because we want society to say that this person contributed? Is it
because we want to be remembered after we die? Is that the reason? Or is it because of that is going to get me to a higher place with Allah subhana wa tada inshallah? If it is for that second reason, then what if there is another way to get me higher with Allah subhana wa Tada. See, if it's really for the reason of Allah subhanaw taala, then I don't care which path I take to get there. But our problem is we say that it's for Allah subhanaw taala. Sometimes, we sometimes we say it is for Allah subhanaw taala. But really, no, I want that thing I want, I want to contribute. And it's for a different reason. And the way that we can sort of think about this as a metaphor. An example to
think about this is if I want to get to a city, so I'm right now I'm in Orange County, suppose I want to get to Los Angeles. If I want to get to Los Angeles, and there are a number of different highways to get there. My goal is Los Angeles. But suppose that initially, my GPS tells me to take the five and the highway, right, highway five and I'm on the highway, and then somehow it reroutes me, maybe because there's construction, or a lot of traffic, and now it's taking me on the 91.
If my goal was Los Angeles, I really don't care what highway I take, right? But if my goal is highway five, if my goal is that particular thing, then rerouting me isn't going to be cool with me right? I'm not going to be okay with that. As soon as the GPS tells me to
reroute, I'm gonna freak out. No, I'm staying on this road. I'm not rerouting because my ultimate attachment is not to Los Angeles, it's not to getting there, it's to stay on this particular path. My attachment is to highway five. And I don't want to reroute, even if, even if that's a better route for me, even if this route is full of obstacles and full of, you know, it's actually going to, it's actually going to be bad for me. I'm attached to the route itself. And this happens a lot that we say, for example, a lot of people, you know, will message me and say I want my goal is I want to be a die. I want to give Dawa I want to be a public speaker. And you know, 111 This is a noble job.
But is my goal to be a die? Is my goal, to be a public speaker? Is my goal, Allah Subhana? Wa, tada? What if? What if there's a different path? That's better for me to get to him? What if it has nothing to do with that? Well, what if it has nothing to do with being in the public sphere at all? You know, it may or it may not and everyone's path is different. So if if you feel, you know, you're at 37, and you feel like you haven't gotten you know, you haven't achieved your mission? Maybe it's because you need to refocus. What is the ultimate mission? is the ultimate mission contributing to society? Or is the ultimate mission pleasing Allah subhanaw taala in the way that is best, and in
the way that is most pleasing to Him and the fastest route to Allah subhanaw taala. When we re you know, refocus, then all of a sudden we let go of, you know, we sometimes we get attached to the means we get attached to how it is, you know, we say yes, we want to get to love but we want this way, I want only this way. And that isn't that isn't that isn't right, because our attachment shouldn't be to the way our attachment should be to the goal. So inshallah I'm going to take another short break now. And when we return, we'll continue with the questions on the topic of depression and anxiety.
Salam Alaikum. This is Jasmine Mujahid and you're listening to serenity, streaming live on one legacy radio. We are continuing the topic today. taking your questions. Today's topic is something that a lot of people struggle with. And that's the topic of depression, sadness, anxiety. And we are going on to the next question. Now. The next question says, How to deal with low self esteem.
When you think about self esteem, the question you have to begin with is where where does your self esteem come from? That's the key. That's the that's the heart of it. What defines your self, your self worth? What defines you're feeling good about yourself, you're feeling like you've achieved? And this is the central question. It's a question that has, you know, plagued a lot of people we know, when you look at, for example, the concept of a woman self worth, a lot of times the society itself defines for a woman what makes her worthy, and what makes her have that that honor. And unfortunately, the standards set by society, for women especially have have everything to do with
the way she looks, and how attractive she is to men. And this this and, or how thin she is, or what her body looks like or, and, and so what has happened is, women have had to struggle with this, this concept that that her self worth, is linked, intimately linked to how she looks and how attractive society thinks she is. And this is something that a lot of women struggle with, especially women who don't feel attractive women who feel that they are overweight, or they don't have you know, the body that they want. And and so they struggle with this, this feeling of low self esteem and low self worth. And sometimes you know, that this this, you know, this also happens with men.
The the focus with men is not so much on their bodies and the way they look. But there's other things that that define a man's self worth in society. And a lot of it maybe has to do with their accomplishments in the dunya How much money do they make? What is their status in society? What do they own? What kinds of you know, the gadgets, they have the toys, right? And, and the idea here is all of these definitions are wrong. We have to go back and realize what really defines our self worth. And our self worth can only and should only be linked to our relationship with our Creator, if we link our self worth with that
And that is the only thing that's that that actually has a value in and of itself, right. And it's when we link our self worth with our relationship with Allah subhanaw taala, that we can really at the root work on low self esteem. Because what happens then is as long as I'm good with God, right, as long as I'm good with my Creator, it doesn't affect me, it doesn't matter if I'm not pleasing in the eyes of society, or in the eyes of the creation, because as long as I am with Allah subhanaw taala where I should be, or where I want to be, and I'm striving in that way, and I'm improving and I'm trying, then I feel good about myself because that is the true worth. That's the true definition
of of worth. Allah subhanaw taala has said, in the end, that the most honored of you is the one who is the most righteous in a Chroma coma en de la he a car home, that indeed the most honored among you is the one who has the most taqwa The one who is has the most fear and cotton and, and God consciousness, the one who's protecting himself from the displeasure of Allah subhanho data, that is the one who is most honored. If you want to really know what you know, whether or not you are honored, ask yourself, are you honored in the eye in the eyes of your Creator, that is the true honor. And the rest is something that's just comes and goes and passes away and is and is ultimately
really meaningless. The definitions of society of what makes a person you know, worthy change, like, you know, they change across culture, they change across time, it's something that's temporary and, and fleeting, those definitions, I mean, you know, you go back a few years ago, the definition of beauty was completely different than it is now. And it will continue to change it, that is not where a person gets their worth. And similarly, Allah subhanaw taala also teaches us this lesson, because these things that we hold on to, to define our worth, are all fleeting. So for example, if my worth is, is connected to how much I can achieve in my career, well, maybe for a few years, I could
achieve for a few years, I I'm productive, and I and I have, you know, I have status, but then I get to be 6070. And now, I can't achieve as much anymore, I can't produce as much anymore. So now what so now what happens, and if my if my definition of worth is connected to how much I can achieve, or how much I can produce, or how much money I can make, or what status I have, all of a sudden, I feel worthless, if that were where it's connected to, because my ability to achieve and to and to strive and to work hard and to produce is limited and, and, and it's temporary. Similarly, if my definition of self worth is connected to the way I look, a person who's who they're, they feel good about
themselves, because they're thin and they look nice, and society says they're attractive. Well, okay, that that may be the case for maybe 10 2030 years, you know, maybe with a lot of plastic surgery, but then you cannot contain that forever. It is the the Sunnah of Allah subhanaw taala, that these things that these things pass away. And no matter how beautiful a rose is, it's going to wither and it's going to ultimately crumble. And the same thing happens to our bodies, the same thing happens to our, our external beauty, this isn't something that's lasting. So you know, if it's connected to, if my self worth is connected to that, it will it won't last, these things are not
lasting for a reason. And in that is a sign of Allah subhanaw taala to show us, this is not what you should be holding on to this is not what should be your definition because it doesn't even last is kind of like you're not going to try to hold on to a moving train, you'd be pretty, pretty crazy to try to like that's what you're going to hold on to because it's moving, it's constantly changing, it's not stable, that can't be your definition. So if you go back and you really fix your definition of what really matters and what really is the definition of what is your of your worth and and your and your self esteem, then then that will inshallah help you to have a stable sense of yourself and,
and be able to withstand the changes that happen around you. Because those things are coming and going beauty status, money, all of those things are just coming and going and as they change and as you know these waves go up and down you're able to have some sort of stability in your in your self concept and in your self worth. If you're holding on to that which is
table and that which does not go up and down and that which does not change and that is a loss of piano data that needs to be your definition. If your definition is anything else, it will just come and go and it will just go up and down. And you'll see this too in in the, the one who makes his self worth based on status. You'll notice that this is also something not lasting, even um, you know, the, if you look at the word, the greatest tyrants that lived right, they had this all this power and all this status and, and look at what happened to them what happened to Pharaoh, a pharaoh, I mean, he he was this this this great tyrant and he thought he stood and he said, No, Boko
Malala I am your Lord Most High. I mean, he just he he thought, you know, he, he thought his worth and his power was linked to this, this temporary status that he had. But look what happened to him he was drowned. And he's What is he now I mean, he's, he's perhaps mummified in a museum in Egypt, I mean, just to show us a Lost Planet that said he saved his body to show us as a sign, this is a sign of Allah subhanaw taala similarly, look at the dictators of look at look at what happened to the dictators of our time. Now, you know, there was a time when they had all this power. And then you know, Allah subhanaw taala turns a las panatela turns the the affairs Allah is the one who elevates
and Allah is the one who humbles and debases all it's all an illustration of that his hands, never ever allow your self worth or your self esteem to be connected to these things, which are constantly changing and are which are, which are temporary illusions. Really.
The next question, I have been suffering from severe panic attacks for a long time, I want to know, what is the Islamic perspective of panic attacks? Is there something wrong with my mn that is causing me to have attacks? Is it wrong to suffer from anxiety, I know I should put my trust in Allah as he is the best of all planners, but I fear that he may put me through something horrendous, even if I can somehow handle it, Is that wrong? There are a lot of issues here, this is getting into the issue of anxiety, panic, I want to sort of separate out to two parts of this one is, again, the biological aspect, I don't discount that there are biological aspects to these types of conditions.
However, what I want to focus on is another aspect, and that is the aspect of general anxiety. And a lot of us, you know, suffer from this and in, in differing degrees. And I would say that, generally, anxiety comes when and the sister or brother really hit the nail, when when he or she talked about reliance? Where is your trust? Where are you putting your dependency? One of the reasons I have found personally in my life, that I feel I begin to feel anxious, or I begin to feel,
you know, scared, or worried very, very worried about something is when I have the wrong focus, whenever there's a problem. So you're you're going through your life, and you're faced with this problem, something that you're very worried about. Suppose it's a financial problem, you you have you lose your job, or you get laid off. Suppose it's a health problem, suppose it's a problem with with your family, whatever the problem is, usually, the way that we deal with it as human beings is, we focus on the problem, right? We sit and we think about the problem, we sit and we contemplate how we're going to solve the problem. We, we basically take the problem and turn it upside down and all
around in our mind, we're constantly thinking about it constantly working through it in our brain. It's what we are focused on. In other words, our heart is focused on the problem. And that's the problem. Our problem is that we're focused on the problem. When when we do that, what happens is, one, we can't solve the problem focusing on a problem isn't going to solve it. Second, it causes a lot of anxiety causes a lot of distress, because we're looking at the wrong thing. Our heart is focused on the wrong thing. We need to bring our heart back to focusing on the right thing, and that is Allah subhanaw taala. So instead of focusing on the problem itself, we need to focus on the one
who can solve the problem. Now again, to reiterate, because we're going to have people saying Well, does that mean I don't do anything to solve the problem and what about my doing my part and all that? Yes, that is absolutely true. We strive with our limbs to do our part, but this one I'm talking about, I want inshallah, to listen very carefully that what I'm talking about is focus of heart, focus of mind. What am I what is what is consumed
Mi is not the problem. What is consuming me is Allah subhanaw taala my focus is on him to solve my problem, while at the same time that I am striving to solve the problem with my limbs, so let me put it in another way, my body, my actions are working to solve the problem. But my heart and my mind are looking at Allah subhana wa, tada, my heart and my mind are in a state of telecon. To what good is a state of the heart to what good is not a state of the limbs. So my limbs are working, yes, I am working, I'm taking the means I am, I'm going I'm seeking a job I'm applying I'm doing those things with my actions. But my heart is at peace. Because my heart is in a state of Tilak what my heart is
looking at Allah subhanaw taala. And knowing that Allah will make a way out for me, and knowing that Allah subhanaw taala will be the one who solves my problem. It isn't my actions. It isn't my applications. It isn't my hard work, that's going to solve the problem. But it's a loss of data, who's going to solve it? And if it's a problem of of a disease, if it's a whatever it is, it isn't a loss of data. It is a law. It isn't the medicine rather, it isn't the, you know, I have a headache, I'm sick, my child is sick. It isn't the doctor, it isn't the medicine that's going to cure him, even though Yes, I go to the doctor. Yes, I go and I take the medicine no one is saying that you
don't do that. But you know that it's a loss of data, who is the one who cures and is Allah subhanaw taala was an fetac Allah is the one who opens when you're in a problem and things feel like they're closing in. And it's, it's a very, you feel very narrow, you feel very narrow. The reason you feel narrow, is because you're focused on the problem and then the problem actually surrounds you right Everywhere you look, that's all you see. Is your problem is your concern is this thing that you're struggling with it like it just takes you and it just surrounds you and and this is what you have to break out of. You have to refocus your heart on Allah subhanaw taala practically What does that
mean? Because this is conceptual practically it means that my my mind when it starts to go towards the problem in terms of being you know, worried and consumed, instead I refocus it and make dua to Allah Subhana that this is not in contradiction to taking the means. Let me emphasize that I'm if I'm worried about
you know, financial difficulties, I am continuing to apply I'm continuing to do what what my part is, right? I'm doing my part, how could how whatever, right, you're tying your camel and relying on a lot. It's not so much by the way. It's not it's not tire camel, and then rely on a lot, but it's at the same time. So you are doing your part Yes, you're applying and you're doing everything you can, but every time your heart starts to worry and starts to look at all but what am I going to do and I'm what about this bill and that's when you refocus the heart on Allah subhanaw taala and you remind your heart that it's Allah who's the provider and you remind your heart that Allah subhanaw
taala is the one who makes way a way out for you. What Allah Spano vida says manga tequila Jalla Maharaja, whoever has to hold of Allah subhanho data, Allah is the one who makes a way out for them a low will make a way out for him. Why are those Oklahoman hifu awesome and he will provide for him from places that he never imagined. It is Allah who provides but if I'm looking at the provision itself if I'm looking at the creation or anything of the of the over the creation in the dunya that's not where the solution is going to come from. And so it doesn't make sense to make my focus on that. And in fact, it only makes me Wait down and it only makes me scared and anxious. I need to
refocus my heart make to our to Allah subhanaw taala and know that Allah is the one who hears all the doors. I want to again encourage you to write your questions, send your reflections, send your inspirational stories to serenity at one legacy radio.com and inshallah we we will be joining we will be again coming tomorrow to you live at 11am Pacific Standard Time 6pm GMT and insha Allah We ask Allah subhanaw taala to ease the pain and the suffering and the and the sadness of all those who suffer We ask Allah subhanaw taala to ease the anxiety and to make Allah subhanaw taala our ultimate focus and our ultimate dependency cooling Holly Heather was stopped for a lolly welcome in Nova funa
Rahim was salam wa Alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh