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A Look In The Mirror
Channel: Yasmin Mogahed
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Yasmin Mogahed | A Look in the Mirror | 16th MAS-ICNA Convention
Episode Transcript ©
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smilla rahmanir rahim wa salatu salam ala rasulillah while Adam Savage mine abstractly surgery with Sibley Omri wahala, Dr. Missoni of the holy.
First of all, I want to express my gratitude, I always find it very impressive when I find a room full of humans at like 10 o'clock in the morning, on the first day of a conference, so that's really impressive Michelle law that you guys are here, and you guys care. I think one of the things that's happened
in our modern day society, as shift yesterday talked about as well. There's been a epidemic loss of purpose and meaning. And I think that what's happened now is that we, we live our lives kind of randomly, you know, how we say things like, oh, my god, that was so random. And we just feel like, everything's very random. And, and there's been this epidemic, loss of meaning and purpose. And so to get that, to actually hold on to that is, is very difficult in the time we live in right now. Because we're all kind of just living, you know, by the seat of our pants, right? It's everything is just YOLO. You know, you You only live once, you know, live it up. And, and it's this kind of just
live moment to moment type of mentality that's sort of pushed down our throats. And so if you try to resist that, and you try to actually live with meaning, it is an uphill battle right now, especially for young people. So I just want to applaud you in that and tell you that you're you're in the right direction and handed in, to go against that stream of just, you know, do what feels good for today, you know, and to actually live with purpose and to have a plan of what you're going to do tomorrow, right? Because the whole idea is to make you only live for today, right? If you look at the way that things are sold to us, if you look at, for example, the advertisements that we see a Pepsi, for
example, Pepsi's tagline was, does anybody know what it was?
Live for now? That was that's what it was. And then the all of the now was a Pepsi sign. So the idea here, this is the type of thing that we're taught is just live for now. Don't plan for tomorrow. Live it up. YOLO right, you'll your own you only live once. You're only young once all this kind of all these slogans, right? And the whole point of that is to make you just not think about planning for tomorrow. But that's completely the opposite of what Allah subhanaw taala tells us, right? Because Allah tells us in the hood on the complete opposite. He says, When will Thunder nafsa math goddamnit livet that Allah says, tell Allah is addressing the believers and he's saying, He's
telling us at the beginning of this ayah to have Taqwa. Yeah, yeah, you're Latina am an otaku la Welton or nafsa Mercado academic live at all you who believe? Oh, you who believe have consciousness of God. So that's the first piece of advice or the or command that I was giving us in this verse. And then after that Allah says, and let every person know, what they what they've put forth for tomorrow. let everyone see and have a plan of what what is it that you're planning for tomorrow? And here are the tomorrow isn't just talking about like in 24 hours tomorrow, right? But this is the tomorrow that's the capital T tomorrow, the tomorrow after we leave this life, Allah is telling us
no matter what age we are, that we should have a plan of what we're going to do, when the capital T tomorrow comes it's it's a little bit like a person who's planning on moving. Have you guys ever moved before homes? Raise your hand if you've ever moved in your life? Everyone has right? Pretty much we don't we live in a very mobile kind of society. Right? I have moved every two years. So I know about moving and sometimes every year. And so this concept of moving, you know, you're going to a new address, right? When you're moving. There's a process before you go to the new address where you know that you're moving, right.
Okay, good. Just checking that you guys are awake, that you know that you're moving, but you're still in the old place, right? You know, your new address, you know that there's a specific time that you're moving, but you're still in limbo, right, you're in between. And that's the process called packing and preparing right?
Okay, sometimes it's rhetorical sometimes actually want you to replay. So So the point here is that in that process, imagine that you know that you're moving so you know you're going to another home.
And now imagine that, instead of moving furniture from your old home to your new home, you decide to do the opposite. You decide to empty out your future home. So say
Anything that was in there, suppose it already had a fridge, you take the fridge and you throw it out. It already had furniture, you take out the furniture and you throw it away. And then you decide because you're really smart, that you're gonna burn it down.
Are you guys following me? So you decide that you actually want to burn it down. It's your future home. But not only are you taking the furniture out, you're burning it down. Okay, so what happens now? You guys are still moving there. That's not gonna change. But what's gonna happen when you get there?
You just burned your house down. So you actually, not only do you have no furniture, sometimes some people are going to get them. There's no home. It's been burnt, you understand? And that's what a lot of people are doing with their future home. That future home that everyone is going to like, there's no, there's no doubt about it. Whether or not you're prepared, you're still going there? Do you guys get it? Nobody can argue with the fact that they're going to their grave even an atheist.
Yeah. So that's their future home, regardless of whether or not they furnished it, regardless of whether or not they burnt it down. They're going there. And every single one of you is going there. But the question only has to do with what have you set forth for it? What have you furnished in it, or have you burn it down?
You understand? And see, when we're moving, we prepare that home. In fact, we put only oftentimes we do this, we buy new furniture for that home, we leave the old furniture, right? We bring only the nicest stuff for that new home, because that's where I'm going. Right? That's my destination. And that's the thing is that some of us are furnishing that new home, and some of us are burning it down. Now, there is a very, very important role in that whole process that your friends play. So now I want to bring it to the topic of of company of your friendships. And I don't just want to talk about friendship. But I want to talk about environment in a in a in a bigger scale as well. All
right, I'll begin by talking about friendships. Because at this age, I mean, I see a lot of young people right now. And at this age, our relationships, our friendships, actually, our relationships are always important. But our friendships are of utmost important, especially when we're young. And they're also important as we as we grow older, but especially when we're young they are our friends become sometimes more influential than our parents. And so who you choose to be around. I use the analogy of
you know, how they tell you You are what you eat? Anyone ever heard that? You are what you eat? What does that mean? It means that if you eat healthy, you're gonna be okay. And if you eat unhealthy, you're gonna be very simple, right? What happens if you drink poison on a regular basis? Just a couple sips for breakfast?
You might not die right away, because you're just taking a couple sips. But what have you, what are you doing over time to yourself internally,
you're killing yourself, really, you're killing yourself. So what happens is that our environment, our company, to be specific, sometimes is like sipping poison.
The things the people that were around the influence that they have on us and I and I was noticing that, you know, this, this idea and shook yesterday touched upon it, that people think oh, but I'm not going to be influenced. I'm strong. That's like a person saying I can drink. I can poison. I'm not going to be influenced. I'm strong. Can anyone say that? No, everyone, it will be influenced if they if they said poison. And in the same way your relationships will affect you. It's just a fact. The prophets I send them said and Motorola Khalili, Allah Dini Holly so that a human being is on the same way as their closest companion.
Do you know what that translates to? That means that you should pick out your closest companion to be the exact image you want to be.
Does that make sense? Because the prophets I seldom said that you will be like your closest companion, you'll be the same same Dean. And Dean doesn't just mean religion. By the way, Dean just means a way the way that they are. And that's why you find that when people are like, BFFs they're really, really close. They actually start to even have the same mannerisms. They pick up, they pick up the same gestures. They make the same faces, you know, I'm saying they they laugh at the same stuff. Do we start to actually morph into the people that were close to Yes or no? Yeah, you do. You do. You just start to become almost like the same person. This is what the prophets I sell him. He
understood psychology before there was something called psychology. Right? And he's telling us you will be on the way of yourself
closest friend. So what does that translate to? It means that I should pick my closest friend to be someone that I want to become.
And if your closest friend is not someone you want to become, then you need to sort yourself out.
Because you become that person.
And let me also add, let me also add that it may not be a friend that you physically see, as Sophia Sarah alluded to, and I'm going to get to that as well. It may be someone that you follow religiously online,
it might be someone that you look up to, and you're following every step, even what burger they ate that day.
And that person, you start to also become like, I found a really strange, this is just a personal thing.
This strange phenomenon that I noticed, and that there was like, you'd know, people who had certain stars, whether they were like athletes, that they like they would that was their role model. And like years and years growing up, this was like their role model, they actually acted like them, like I started to notice that they would act like them, they would gesture like them, that you even become like people even if you're not, you don't know them. But but it's someone you've been following so closely, and you admire so much that you start to actually become like them. So be very mindful who you take as that closest companion because that's what you become. And and I won't, you
know, repeat but the but
shift, yes. It also mentioned about the difference between the good company and the bad company, the perfume shop, and the blacksmith shop, that we are influenced by our environment. But when I say to you that you are what you eat, what do I mean by that? I mean that every single thing that you surround yourself with, or you take in, affects you internally. So it's just like food. All right.
What you listen to what you look at, what you read, what you watch, what you talk about all of this, think about it as input. It's like food that you're putting into your body. Right? And so I ask people to imagine that every time you open your feed,
your feed, meaning your news feed, whether it's on Facebook, Instagram,
Twitter, Snapchat, whatever it is. Imagine that when you open up your feed, it's like opening up your fridge.
That's what you're gonna eat that day. Okay, now, can you imagine opening your fridge, and here's what's in your fridge, some rotten, cheesecake covered in mold, right? A piece, like a burger. That's like, I don't know, by this point. It's like toxic, some some bottles of poison. That's what's in your fridge.
You open your fridge, and that's what's in there. So what's gonna happen to you?
What's gonna happen to you? Well, it doesn't take a genius. That's what you're in taking. That's your intake, right? And so that affects you. Now, when a person now when you open your newsfeed,
you have to judge it in the same way. That's your fridge. That's your fridge, you're not passive, I need you to understand you are not passive, you're not passively intaking, you're actively in taking those things. You're not just looking at it, I need you to understand, there's no such thing as I'm just looking.
Whatever you look at, it's like you're swallowing it. It's like you're eating it, because the eyes are a window to the heart. That's the way Allah designed it. You can't look at something without it affecting your heart.
Same thing with the ears, the ears aren't are an inlet to the heart. And so you don't listen to something and you're just passive, right? You're not just looking at that fridge. Those are the things that you're swallowing. Does that make sense? And so what I ask people to do is, number one, please find friends that you want to become. And that person that you take closest to you make sure it's someone you admire, and someone that's actually going to help you furnish that home that you're going to not someone who's going to come with a torch and burn it down for you. There are friends, friends
who actually are burning that house for you.
You guys feel me or you don't feel me at all. You feel me? They're actually the ones burning that house down. But guess what? You're the one who's gonna have to go. Nobody comes to your grave with you. You go by yourself to your grave. And if your friend is the one who helps you burn it or burn that home, you're stuck with it. And this is the reason why the people of Hellfire one of the things one of their biggest regrets is going to be I wish I had not taken so and so as a friend.
I wish I had not taken so and so as a friend. Because the problem is, our friendships, our companionship affects us deeply. And it either helps us build and furnish that home, or it helps us burn it down. And I'm telling you this because it's in your best interest, I don't get anything for whether, depending on how you furnish your home, it doesn't change my home. Because even the prophets, I said, lamb is not held accountable for the results. So what about me, I don't know nothing.
All only thing that I am doing right now is telling you what's in your best interest. And I'm just trying to help you. But it See, you have to go there alone. Your mom can't go with you, your friend can't go with you. And so it's really all about how you build your own home, your final home. And believe me, your friends have a big part to play in that. And then later on who you take as your spouse, because this is going to become your closest companion at one point. Be very, very mindful that it's someone who's going to help you build that home, not someone who's gonna burn it down.
Now in terms of the, the environment that we put ourselves in, online, now I want to take a moment and talk about that. I said that your news feeds like your fridge, that's what you're gonna eat all day. That's what you're gonna ingest. How can we start to make it healthier? How can we take out the the molded cheesecake and the really, really old burger and the cyanide, and maybe replace it with some healthy food, maybe some vegetables, you know, maybe some vitamins and minerals, you know, like stuff that's gonna make you strong. The interesting thing is we're going through a time right now where everyone's talking about, or at least in California, talking about eating healthy and organic.
You guys have heard something about that. Right? Even though y'all are in the Midwest, I grew up in the Midwest, I grew up in Wisconsin, so I understand. But in general, there's a movement right now to talk about being more healthy. Right? Yes, sir. No, no, never heard it. Okay, good.
So now, this is what we mean that, but this is what we need spiritually. We need to start start talking about being more healthy internally. Because you know what, you have to take care of your body. But at the end of the day, your body is passing away.
And I and it's an Amana, you have to take care of it. But at the end of the day, your body's passing away. Can you tell me anyone in this room Tell me what's happening to your soul? After your body passes away?
It goes to the body just so it's actually continuing to exist? That is a right. So your soul continues, and your body disintegrates? Which one do we take better care of generally?
Isn't that ironic?
Does anyone else find the irony in that we take better care of our body than we do our soul, even though our body is passing away, and our soul is not. Your soul doesn't actually pass away, your soul just moves. It moves from one world to another, and then from that world to another, and then guess what? It lives forever.
Like forever capital F. That's a lot of time, isn't it?
So it's quite important that you take care of it. And I'm telling you that because we live in a social media age right now,
one of the biggest sources of poison is what we're looking at online.
What we're following, and I'm going to put aside right now, like, I'm not going to get into a discussion about what's hot, and what's colored, because I'm not qualified to do that. But what I do want to do is I want to just talk about just basic psychology. All right, what you guys are following. It may not be blatantly, how long, right?
It's cool. You can learn a million different ways to wrap your hijab. That's awesome. Right? a million different ways to contour your face. That's, that's awesome.
Lots of different fashion, all that stuff. I'm not saying any of that is how to just watch.
But here's the problem. The problem is when that becomes the focus, that becomes the focal point. The only thing that you're looking at is fashion. What some what burger, what kind of burger someone's eating, how all the various ways to wrap your hijab all the various ways to do makeup tutorials. And somehow everyone ends up looking identical after these tutorials. Gemma knows that. Yeah, it's really really bizarre. But But my point right now isn't head on head and my point is what matters most.
And the thing about psychology is that whatever you are focused on most, that what is what becomes central in your life and so
person who's only looking at fashion? Who's only looking at material things dunya? What's this person wearing? What's that person eating? Which parties? Are they at with? You know, do you guys get what I'm saying, if that's the only thing that you're looking at every single day, guess what's gonna be most important to you?
fashion, material things, what people are wearing what people are eating. That's it. And what happens is you've just left what really matters. And so my point to you is, if you can change what you're looking at every day, and make it something a little bit more healthy,
a little bit more,
maybe inspiring something that's going to actually help you to build your home, something that's going to help you furnish your home, then you you will actually be in a better position. Because now you'll be using social media, rather than social media using you.
You can use it as a tool for either good or bad, or just a waste of time.
Lastly, because I really do have five minutes left,
I want to just leave you guys with with some advice, some practical advice.
And I told you guys that you take care of your body, we all do, and we need to, but we've neglected our soul, we've neglected that home that we're definitely moving into. So I want to just leave you guys with three points of how you can furnish that home, and how you cannot just, you know
improve your own internal being but also be a better friend for others.
The first thing is the Salah.
I can't talk to an audience without talking about Salah. And the reason for that is Salah is the oxygen that keeps us alive. It is the spiritual oxygen of the of the heart and soul. And so the salaah will allow you to be able to be healthy, in the same way that oxygen allows you to continue to live. And if a person is eating organic vegetables and and green juices and they're really really healthy, but they're not breathing.
what's what's gonna happen to them.
Come on, you guys don't have to be a doctor, you're gonna die if you don't breathe, right. And it doesn't matter how healthy your your food is. So the Salah is that basic oxygen that keeps you alive. Number two, I'm going to ask everyone to download an app onto their phone called my dog. It's spelled MYDU. A. And what it is, is it's a collection of the supplications of the prophets lie Selim from the Quran and from the Sunnah, that he would say throughout his day. Now this might seem like, okay, what's the big deal, it's really a big deal. It's really a big deal. Because what this app does, is it's equivalent to that those vitamins and minerals and food and water that you put in your
body. But it's spiritual. Every time you're reading these supplications, you are making your internal health stronger. Now I'm just going to tell you this, when you download this app, by the way, best 99 cents will ever spend, and no I don't get a cut.
When you download this app, you open up on the side, there's going to be a few there's By the way, there's an there's a supplication for every motion of life. And the more you can incorporate in your life, the healthier you'll be psychologically emotionally spiritually in every other Li.
But what you have to do, like there are certain supplications you can't live without, and they are the morning supplications, the evening supplications and the ones before you sleep, make sure that these you're getting off your app, even if you aren't doing the rest, but make sure at least you're doing those. And then over time, you can learn the small ones, right? You leave the house, there's a small drop, you come back in the house, remember Allah, these things are life changing. But let me just before I end, tell you about the morning and evening, you go to this app, the good The good thing about this app is there's this thing called a star you can start the supplications that you
want to do because there's like 25 of them, it might take you an hour and never do it again. It's better for you to make a small list and to be consistent because the prophets I seldom said that the that Allah loves the actions that are that are consistent without a call, even if they're small.
If you guys want to get in shape, if you want to get in shape and you go to the gym for eight hours and then don't go again for six months. Is that going to work out? No. But if you do the seven minute workout, by the way, it's scientifically proven. Seven minutes every other day you actually gonna find results
But if but that's because consistency is how Allah designed the world that consistency is what brings results. So even if it's a few you star them that becomes your starred list but you are consistent you will find that it will have a profound effect. Lastly is the quota and stay connected to the end. And that means it doesn't need to be like a just a day or something but just even if it's one area, but you're connected, and you're understanding what you're saying, and and and you're trying your best to reflect and
and live by it. And also the the Hadith and the Sunnah as it as it relates to the court and try as much as you can even if it's a little bit every day to stay connected to that. I'm calling Holly Heather was stopped for a while you will come in no phone Rahim. subhanak Hello the hammock, Chateau de la Hill and just Africa to like just a quick announcement. I do have just a limited a few copies of my book. I have my new book love and happiness. This is the new edition of Reclaim Your heart which is it includes four new chapters two about teleco love of God and finding God Jackalope in Santa Monica one off into la