What it Means to Be a True Friend

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Yasir Qadhi

Channel: Yasir Qadhi

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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But can tiny banca tiny but can tiny Ana them be women coming to me in Kirby

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Lee

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jelly either call me he'll be famous the hatin doll seni wanna

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mean Alon, Toby

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and hamdulillah All praise is due to Allah subhanahu wa taala He is worthy of being praised for who he is, and he is worthy of being praised for what he has done. And we seek refuge in Allah from the evil of our souls and the consequences of our actions. Whomever Allah chooses to guide, none can misguide. And whomever is misguided cannot be guided back except by him. I bear witness and I testify that none is worthy of worship, other than Allah Jalla Jalla Lu, and I bear witness and I testify that Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is his final prophet, and his most perfect worshipper. As to what follows Dear Brothers and Sisters, Allah has created mankind to be a social

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creature. In fact, the word in son according to our scholars are the Arabic language. One of the interpretations the word in son comes from wounds from finding comfort and others. So in son is called in son, because by default in son does not live alone in son lives, with friends, with family with community, and we live in societies and form bonds with each other. And these bonds they benefit us and at times they harm us. So our shedding has come the Quran and Sunnah has come with guidelines to tell us who to be friend and how to be friend and what are the rights of the friend. So in today's hutzpah, I will remind myself and all of us what are the obligations and the

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etiquette? What are the mannerisms and even the blessings of having good friends for the sake of Allah subhanho wa Taala as Allah reminds us in the Quran, that good friends, they are like blood brothers. In fact, that is the default of a friendship in normal movement. Guna all have the means they should be like one family. In fact, our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam even said that being a good friend, and tasting the sweetness of a good friend is a sign of iman, our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, Three are the things, whoever has them has perfected Iman. And in one report, three are the things whoever does them has tasted the sweetness of iman, what is one of

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them, that a person has a friend, and the only reason for this friendship is the love of Allah is the sake of this religion. And so this person meets with another person, not because of a business transaction, not because of a mutual benefit. But because there's a genuine connection for Allah by Allah through Allah, I will prophesy some said when a person reaches that level, he has perfected Eman and in the other Hadith, when he reaches that level, he has tasted the sweetness of iman. So the sweetness of Eman is manifested in having a good friend for the sake of Allah subhanho wa taala. Our Prophet system told us a beautiful point of human psychology. So beautiful Hadith, which has a

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lot of commentary. And perhaps one day I'll give a whole lecture just about this hadith. But a hadith is very short. And Anwar who do maganda souls of the people, they are like structured art units of an army, like you divide an army into different groups, or why the souls of the people, they are like units of an army, that which they recognize from one another they find friendship, and that which we don't don't like they turn away from one another. In other words, the general that successful has to put similar groups of people and strong friends in one unit, he understands the success of the army is that every group of people has to trust one another has to love one another.

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So the true general the military, successful general, will categorize people based upon them getting along having strong ties, and our prophets have said automatically the souls of mankind they are like this type of army that when you find someone you like, all of a sudden your soul finds an attraction your soul finds a friendship with them, and you will find yourself coming closer and if you don't like something or someone then they go apart without even you doing anything without even saying anything. And this shows us that friendship, genuine friendship, it is actually metaphysical, It's spiritual. It goes to the soul. You know in English we have soul friends, this is really true.

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There is something called a friend that comes from the old when the cold recognizes the other help that

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truecolor that is the loving ALLAH SubhanA wa Taala they recognize another person with a similar love, they will find that friendship that is coming for the sake of Allah Subhana Allah to Allah and Allah reminds us in the Quran. Allah reminds us in the Quran, that that friendship, that brotherhood, it is one of the biggest gifts that Allah has given to mankind. And in fact, it is a priceless gift. You cannot put a numerical value on the value of your friend for the sake of Allah. You cannot put a finger on it. It is priceless. It is more precious than this world. This is in the Quran. Where do we get it from? Allah says in the Quran, with Kuru, near Metalla here are they come

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is going to adapt and for LF abena Kuru become remember Allah's blessings and Allah's favors upon you. He's talking to the Sahaba you were enemies of one another. Then Allah brought your hearts together upon friendship and brotherhood. Allah says this is a blessing. Allah says this is from me with guru near mutts Allah Here they come. I blessed you with this brotherhood and friendship. This was a divine gift that I bestowed upon you. And Allah reminds us in the Quran, lo and Fatima fill out of the Jimmy and MA I left them in a pool over him while I can Allah Allah forbade him, if you were to spend all the money in this world to make the Sahaba friends and brothers you could not have

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done so. But Allah subhanho wa Taala has done so Allah azza wa jal literally in this verse says that friendship is priceless is beyond a monetary figure. You cannot place a finger on the value of a good friendship for the sake of Allah. You can try to spend and spend and spend if Allah has not willed it, that friendship will not happen. And so brothers and sisters, if Islamic Brotherhood is a gift from Allah, if a good friend is priceless, well then what are the etiquettes of such a friendship? How do we maintain such a friendship? What does the Quran and Sunnah say about being brothers or for the sisters being sisters for the sake of Allah Subhana Allah to Allah and again, as

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usual, time is always limited, but we try to Inshallah, to Allah summarize. First and foremost, our Shetty has told us and this is a factually incorrect statement that we choose our friends. You see, there is a difference between befriending and being friendly. There is a difference between befriending and being friendly. We are friendly with everybody, maximum amount, Muslim and non Muslim, pious and righteous colleague an acquaintance we are friendly, that's the default. Our Prophet sallallahu either he was saying me no, yeah love who you love. The believer is friendly and accepts friendliness as well. Well, the higher of him Allah Allah for Allah you love and there is no

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good and somebody who's not friendly, there is no good and somebody who stuck up who is arrogant, who snobbish, there is no good and somebody who cannot act in a decent human manner with somebody else. So we are friendly with everybody. But we do not befriend everybody. Having a good friend is a higher level we choose the ones whom we associate with at a higher level. We don't choose the ones we're interacting with on the street in our office that's befriending that acquaintance, but who is my saw him who is the one I choose to confide in, to speak to to share my problems with that is a higher level our Prophet Sall Allahu alayhi wa sallam said that we're allowed to saw him Allah Mina.

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Only take a believer as that type of side have that taqwa in the person have the believing in Allah azza wa jal let them be upon a level of Islam and a V man that makes you comfortable to seek that Sahaba that friendship. And then he said, while Hulu Tomica Illa Turkey and to invite people to your house to have them share your meal, they should have tacos together. Again, this is not giving food to the poor. This is inviting somebody into your sanctuary into the place your wife and children are your closest friends. You have to have Taqwa Allah, the Prophet system is saying to us raise the bar even more. So befriend the movement and invite to your house then with Turkey. Befriend the

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movement. Be friendly to everybody. Be friendly to everybody. Befriend the movement, and then invite the person to your house that has Taqwa. So we choose the friend upon the person's lap and morality and we all know this evil friends causes to go to evil ways. Hence righteous friends dragged us into righteousness even if we don't want to go there. If we're surrounded by good people surrounded by Mutata and surrounded by people who pray who fast who are into Islam acknowledge or good o'clock is gonna rub off on us so our prophets a little less than him said famously, you all know the Hadith you all know the Hadith. A person follows the religion of his friends, so be careful. Who are you

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befriending? A person follows the religion of his friends, so be careful who you befriend. So this is point number one, choose your friends and if your friends are dry

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You down and you're not able to drag them up spiritually if your friends are harmful to your Eman to your deen and duniya well then why are they your friends, you can choose your friends, you be friendly to everybody, but when it comes to befriending the bar is higher and when it comes to inviting to your house, the bar is even higher than this also have the etiquettes of being a Muslim brother and a Muslim friend of the etiquettes is the whole purpose of friendship is to help each other and to take care of the other. Our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, Allah that Allah azza wa jal wala who founded Abdi mme and Abdul Rahim Allah will take care of all of a person's

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needs. As long as that person is taking care of his friends needs. Allah will take care of your needs, as long as you are busy taking care of the needs of other people. So the true believer the true workman asks, What can I do to help or even monitors and sees asks around ask the mutual friend is everything okay with so and so? In so many instances of the syrup? The Prophet system is asking about somebody who's missing. Where's Abu Huraira Where's a Buddha? What's happening? Why don't I see him he's asking, he's monitoring he's noticing so and so it's not here, so it's sick, and if he's sick, go visit him if some issue is happening, raising funds to help them Sandman Hellfighters

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he needed funds to be saved from being a slave. Our profit system did a fundraiser in the masjid for him. This is what it means to be a friend. You help your friend in need you do whatever needs to be done and Subhanallah in return, Allah azza wa jal will take care of you. Allah is going to take care of your needs. As long as you're busy taking care of the needs of your friends. This is what the Hadith tells us, of the etiquettes of being a friend is that we go above and beyond and we give gifts and we are generous to our friends, I will Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said to her do to have boo, give gifts to one another. And you will find that job for the sake of Allah amongst one

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another, give gifts, small list of things, but you have taken the time to show that you appreciate that friendship invite over for food and fight over for generosity as our Prophet system did. And as the people would do with a Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam of the etiquettes of being a friend is that when your friend invites you for a special occasion for a wedding of his child for something important, then respond to that invitation because that person has prepared a meal that person has gone out of his way. And that's why in the Hadith, our prophets have said there are six rites that a believer has upon the other believer and one of them being a Java to Dawa, you respond to the

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invitation when a person has done something the Son has graduated, the daughters getting married, your friends inviting you now he wants you to come. If it is possible for you. Obviously, if it's not possible, then hello. But if it's possible, don't use laziness as an excuse, if it's possible. Our Prophet system said you should respond to the Dawa of your friend when he invites you. This is of the etiquettes of being a friend of the etiquettes of being a friend is to genuinely care about your brother or your sister for the sake of Allah and to want for him or her what you want for yourself. Our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, none of you has full Iman, until you love

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your for your brother, what you love for yourself until you genuinely want your brother to be happy. Just like you want yourself to be happy. And this is of the etiquettes of friendship of the etiquettes of being a Muslim friend, is that you act like a mirror to your friend. Our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said a minnow mirar to a movement. The movement is a mirror to the Mortman question. What does a mirror do for you? Why do you stand in front of a mirror? You stand in front of a mirror so that you see okay, am I looking good? Everything fine. Is there a mistake of I have some issue here some smudge here I need to clean it up. The mirror perfects you the mirror it

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accentuates what is good, and it tells you what is bad. Our Profit System said every one of us should be a mirror to our closest friends. Every one of us they should trust us like they trust the mirror. You know, a sane person does not get angry at the mirror. A sane person if he sees the mirror showing a smudge sewing some something wrong with his clothes. He's not gonna get angry at the mirror. He's gonna realize I need to correct myself. So to the friend does not become the harsh critic. The friend does not get on the nerves of the person. He's correcting. No, like the mirror. He uses a tactic. He uses a methodology he uses a psychological phrase where the friend appreciates

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and does not criticize me for pointing out a mistake. Let me know Murata to Al movement. So the believer acts like the mirror to his fellow believers of the etiquettes of being a friend of the etiquettes of being a friend is that the friend mentions in private and in public the good in his friend and thanks in private and in public the good that the friend has done our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam once he gave us goodbye and sermon and he said I have

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repaid everybody the debts that I owe them, except for Abu Bakr Siddiq, except for obika Severe I cannot repay them in this dunya and in the other Hadith he said that no person's wealth has helped me like the wealth of Abu Bakr. Sudhir canceled me in my life. So he praised Abu Bakr. And by the way, even non Muslims got this praise, I will process some praise multiball and Addy, he praised a non Muslim for an incident in the Sierra for having done some good to the Muslim community. So you praise your friend, and you thank him publicly and privately for the good that your friend has done for you of the etiquettes of being a friend is that you do not allow the honor of your friend to be

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besmirched and smeared. You defend the honor of your friend in public and in private. So if you're in a gathering, and somebody mentions your friend in a negative manner, back bites, even if it's true, but it's backbiting even if it's true, but it's behind his back, the friend does not just sit there and allow this to happen. No, our Prophet sallallahu either he was seldom said, Whoever defends the honor of his brother in his absence, whoever defends the honor of his brother in his absence, Allah will shield and defend his face from the fire of jahannam. In his absence, you hear your brother being besmirched, you hear your reputation of your brother being dragged into the mud,

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you don't just sit there silently, no, a true friend, the least that they will say is, look, this talk should not be happening behind his back, you want to say something? Let's bring so and so and let's have it out with that person, as the least you close this discussion. And better than this, if you know it to be alive, or you know, the excuse is you defend and say no, that's not true, and such and such about my brother. So defending the honor of your brother in his absence, this is of the etiquettes of being a friend of the etiquettes of being a Muslim friend, is that if and when you discover the personal faults of your believing brother or sister, the personal false, not the false

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affecting the larger community, every one of us is a sinner. And when you befriend somebody, you find out some mistakes, you find out some errors in judgment, you might even discover a personal sin. The true friend will never publicize the sins, the true friend will never go behind the friends back and tell other people about it. No, not at all. If you must advise you advise directly to the person, your friend, but as for other people, your mouth will remain quiet, your tongue will remain shut. You will never expose the faults and weaknesses and mistakes of a personal nature. Again, we're not talking about covering up a crime against humanity. You know, a personal fault. Every one

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of us has personal sins. It's nobody's business to go talk about personal sins in public and our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said that whoever covers the faults of his Muslim brother, Allah will cover his faults on the Day of Judgment. Whoever covers the faults of his Muslim brother, Allah will cover his faults on the day of judgment of the etiquettes of being a friend common sense, but the Hadith explains it in a lot more detail is that you don't do something foolish that is gonna break that friendship. You act in a manner with utmost compassion with love with concern and you don't do things that are going to break that friendship in the famous Hadith Bukhari and Muslim so

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beautiful and long Hadith our Prophet sallallahu either he was setting them said Latta has said what at about one or two just says who Walter has said so what are the energy issue? What we're cooler about Allah Juana L. Muslim who are all Muslim and the Hadith goes on and on. Don't be jealous of your friend. Don't hate your friend. Don't spy on your friend. Don't find out the latest gossip about your friend has sesame's to find out gossip. Don't just ask for the sake of gossip some scandal or something you know, don't do that. Well, tonight just you don't outbid your friend. If your friend has made a bid on a car on a property and you know that your friend has made a bid it is

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haram in the shady It is haram and some madhhab say that your bid will become unethical and void that when you find out your friend has been on the car you then go to the owner and you try to outbid him unless it is an open bid you know that type of stuff like the the the the bids that happen that are open for everybody. But if it's a private bid, and you know your friend has bid, then this is called Tetra Bara that you go behind his back and you try to outbid him doesn't work that way. It is haram to do this because you're going to break the bonds of friendship and our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam then said, well, Coonoor Eva de la he Quanah all of you servants

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of Allah be one two, to one another, a Muslim or a whole Muslim, the Muslim is the brother of the other Muslim. All of these are the etiquettes, of being a friend of the etiquettes of being a friend is that you make dua for your friends, when they're not in front of you. You remember them when they're not in front of you, you raise your hands to Allah and you think of them one by one by name, and you make a specific dua Oh Allah, my brother Ahmed, who is going through an issue now solve that issue. Oh, Allah Mustafa, his child is sick cure that child. Oh Allah so and so he's going to financial

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Archer, and you make dua for your brethren. SubhanAllah. Can you imagine the purity of a society where everybody is privately making your art for everybody else? Can you imagine the society will be raised to what level and not just this, but our Lord is so generous? Our profit system is so compassionate, they gifted us when we do that. They gifted us what is the gift? Our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, that never does a Muslim, raise his hand and ask Allah for his Muslim friend and brother a good except that an angel comes down and says I mean to your DUA, and now I'm making dua, that you get the same thing that you made dua for your brother, for if you may

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do that, oh, my brother's going through financial times make it difficult to give him wealth, an angel will be sent down and say oh, Allah, give him wealth as well. If your brother's child is sick, and you're asking for cure, the angel will come and say, Oh, Allah protect this man's children as well. Whatever dua you make, the angels are making dua for you. Why then, are we so stingy brothers and sisters? Why are we stingy, to raise their hands up to Allah and make dua for our brothers and sisters, just ask Allah for the good is going to purify our hearts is going to cleanse our hearts of Hessa that evil and it will bring good for the brother and for me of the etiquettes of being a

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friend is that you inform your friend for the sake of Allah that you have a special connection with them. Our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, when one of you loves your brother for the sake of Allah, inform him of that inform him fill your Limbo before it is too late. And you cannot do that make sure you do so in this dunya you don't know when your friend will leave. And so before it is too late to make sure your friends know you have that special connection with them and go to them and say, Okay, I love you for the sake of Allah, after you have done so much good to me, I appreciate all the good that you have done before it is too late to do so of the tickets of being a

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friend is that when the inevitable happens, one of you too will go first. Either you or your friend. When that day comes and you're able to pray janazah then you go out of your way and you pray janazah for your friend, you sacrifice out of your routine, if need be an IP as possible, you fly in to pray the janazah that is of the hook of the six foot cord that the prophecy as I mentioned is that you pray the janazah for your friend. So you try your utmost what is reasonable, and Allah knows what is reasonable, whatever is reasonable for you, once your friend passes away, or the other way around, if your turn comes in, he's like, you want to do this much for each other that you fly in or you

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come in or you drive or whatever is possible, whatever is reasonable. And if it's unreasonable locally for long enough Scintilla was and you try to attend the janazah of your friend of the etiquettes of being a good friend is that even after your friend has gone, you keep in touch with their family and friends. And you show their family and friends that your friendship meant something to you, even when they're gone. You keep in touch with their family and their friends. And it is authentically narrated that our that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, a lady came to him and I sure did not recognize that lady. And the Profit System softened to her immensely and he opened

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the door and he gave her food and he was so compassionate or elderly Lady Aisha says Who is this lady what I've never seen her, you know what the process and have said, he said this was hottie Joe's best friend. This was hideous friend. And now Khadija is no more. And then he said we're in personally, the middle Iman and being good to the friends of your friends to being good to those who were befriending your loved ones. It is a part of iman Hadid just friend came 20 years after she's coming to visit the process 15 years after she's coming to visit the Profit System. And the Profit System is giving her so much Ekrem why we're in personnel at the middle Iman, being good to the

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friends of your friends, being good to the family of your friends. It is a part of iman. And so a part of our Eman apart to being a friend is that even when the friend moves on, then you keep in touch with their friends and family to indicate that that friendship meant something to you and of the etiquettes of being a good friend is that even after they've moved on, you make dua for them. You make sincere dua for them and that is a never ending thing. As long as you are alive you will continue to make dua for your friend Allah azza wa jal says in the Quran Well ladies and gentlemen by the hem your old honorable fildena was acquired in Medina Saba Kona Bill Iman. Wala, Tisha I feel

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Pura Vida, Hildon Lilina Manu, those who come afterwards they make dua to Allah, O Allah, forgive us and forgive the believers who came before us forgive all of the movements who came before us. So we ask Allah for forgiveness for our friends, if they have moved on. And all of these are of the etiquettes of being a good friend, brothers and sisters, our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam reminded us that a good friend, he is like a seller of perfume. He is like a seller of perfume. Either you will purchase perfume from him, or he will gift you perfume, or in the very least his presence will bring you perfume. You

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always gonna benefit from a good friend. And the time will come when that perfume will no longer be there. So you will no longer sense that perfume and that friendship, but he reminded us that that is what a good friend is. It brings a special scent brings a special beauty and our profits are some told us the Quran tells us that on the day of judgment on the Day of Judgment, one of the people who will be sheltered under the shade of Allah, one of the seven categories of people who will be saved from the punishments on the day of judgment are two people who were friends for the sake of Allah they met for the sake of Allah and they parted ways for the sake of Allah and the Quran tells us a

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healer or yoga in bow the Holy Paladin, I do want to jump in. On the Day of Judgment, the closest of friends will become enemies, the closest of friends will become enemies, except for the people of Taqwa they will remain friends on the Day of Judgment. A good friendship doesn't last just a lifetime. A good friendship lasts for all of eternity. On the Day of Judgment, friends will be together on the Day of Judgment they will comfort together and not just this but they shall enter Jannah together, ALLAH SubhanA wa Tada says in the Quran, we'll see Allah Dena Takara Muhammad Al Jannetty Zuma era, the people who had Taqwa will be brought into Jana in batches in batches. If not

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a yam comments, Allah has refused to allow people to enter Jannah all alone. Nobody's gonna judge her Jana all alone. Rather, Allah azza wa jal will resurrect batches of sincere friends together and friends will enter Jannah together because they found comfort in this dunya together so Allah will allow their comfort to continue in the ark era and a man came to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and said yeah rasool Allah when is the day of judgment? The Prophet saw some said, What have you prepared for it? So the man said, I don't have much good deja rasool Allah but I love Allah and I love you We are rasool Allah, I love you. You're a soul Allah. So the prophets have said, A man

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shall be with those whom he loves, in Jannah, a man shall be with those whom He loves in Jannah. And as diplomatic said that well Allah He when we heard this hadith, we were never as happy since having accepted Islam, as we were when we heard this hadith because he explained why he said, As for me on a set us for me, I don't have much good deeds that's under speaking imagine I don't have much good deeds, but I know that I love Allah and His messenger. So I have hope that insha Allah Tada I will be with the messenger in Jana, and more OMA Armand hub, brothers and sisters, think long and hard about who your friends are, appreciate the good friends amongst them, follow these etiquettes and

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adapt and in sha Allah, who to Allah that friendship will be a source of blessings in this world, a source of happiness in this world a source of intercession on the day of judgment and it will provide you comfort not just in this dunya but the Archaea as well. May Allah Subhana Allah bless me and you with him through the Quran. And May He make us of those who is versus they understand and applies halal and haram throughout our lifespan as scholars forgiveness us will ask him for his liver for and Ramadan.

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Al Hamdulillah Halawa had I had a solid Allah de la mia little Adam you will welcome your co lo co founder

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Gemma Muslims today there is a global campaign taking place in many different cities across the world to bring attention to the plight of our weaker brothers and sisters, our Muslim brothers and sisters in China, as we are aware for the last half a decade if not more, in fact, to the oppression has been many decades. But it has ratcheted up in the last five or six years or so. The Chinese government has rounded up over a million people and began to indoctrinate them in concentration camps, the likes of which have not been seen since World War Two. And they are forcing our Muslim brothers and sisters to abandon their faith. It is not a genocide. It is an ethnos side. They want

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to keep the bodies of these people alive, but remove the Eman of their hearts. They want to keep the bodies alive for their factories, but they want to remove the ethnic identity, their will their heritage, their Uyghur language. And of course the weavers are all Muslims of that region. And so they have begun this vicious campaign which the UN has seen and acknowledged and the global world is aware of today, multiple organizations around the world are launching campaigns and public awareness demonstrations being held in Washington DC, in London, in Johannesburg, in Melbourne and Australia across the globe and Imams have been told to raise awareness over and over again. Because even if we

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cannot physically do something, the least is they cannot be forgotten. We can make dua we can raise awareness and the government the Chinese government it does not want this thing to be known as trying to cover it up therefore, BBC and they have done amazing exposes I encourage you to read them so it's our job to raise the awareness make dua do whatever we can. And indeed sometimes the situation is hopeless. I understand

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And but that doesn't mean we give up hope. And that doesn't mean we do nothing, the least we can do make dua for our brothers and sisters and do what we can to raise awareness. The one thing that perhaps might have an effect is the public shaming of this country is the claim that this country China is engaged in human rights violations of the highest magnitude, perhaps that might send a message for them to at least rethink through it is better than nothing. So the least we can do find out what's going on, find out who to contact, find out how to raise public awareness and make dua for our brothers and sisters in the region. Allahumma niederrhein Firmino Allahu Allah azza wa jal

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