Fiqh of Marriage 2

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Yasir Qadhi

Channel: Yasir Qadhi

Series:

Episode Notes

Shaykh Yasir Qadhi delves into the topic of marriage in its entirety and we get a comprehensive view on the Fiqh of marriage.

There are some sharth are involved for marriage:

  • Specification of the man and the woman involved in the marriage.
  • The male and the female should not have been prohibited to marry by nay way such as blood relation.
  • There must be a wali present who must be a male, sane, of age, free man, he must be of the same religion as the girl,he must have Adalah and he must have Rushd.
  • The approval of both spouses.
  • Two witnesses must be present -who are male only.

2 Rukn are absolutely essential for every Nikah – the proposal which is sent by the wali of the girl and the acceptance which is done by the groom.

 

Episode Transcript

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But moving Lega wanna YOU JIN hoo fella ha de la wash in, in LA LA wahoo la sharika wa shadow, Mohammed Abu we're a pseudo

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bad. Okay, so last week we talked about, like we said those people that are prohibited to marry. And we also talked about side point was when we're allowed to look at when we propose and the last thing we did was

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The what? The status of marriage we did that at the beginning. Yes, the status of marriage. Okay. Okay, now we get on to the actual marriage. Okay, the actual marriage. Now,

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we defined in the fifth class that we took something called truth and something called outcome because there are new brothers who have to define them over again, what is a shut up? And what is a broken?

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What is a shelf and what is it open, there's a difference between the two, a shelf is in run

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a precondition to the act, okay. So for example, Florida, has some shoot some shots to them. Amongst them is you have to have

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a shot to the salon because it's before it. And then there's a token which is inside the act itself. It's not before. So for example, a token of colors that you have to refer to, okay, we're going over this because we have to now get it to the shelf of Nika and the record of nikka. What are the preconditions to marriage? And what are the actual conditions in the marriage contract? Okay, sir understands this. The shuru are preconditions, sharp, singular, plural, sharp, singular truth true, these are preconditions to any act. Without them, no act is complete. Okay, you need to have the sros in order to do the act. So prayer, for example, it has some truth to it. And what I'll say is

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that we must face the Qibla amongst them is that we have to have goodwill amongst them is that we have to our body or we have to be properly clothed these shoes. Are they inside the prayer? No, because the prayer starts with Allahu Akbar. Okay. The prayer starts with a lot of awkward

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postures maybe.

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So this is the beginning of the prayer and the ending of it is that the slim so anything inside the prayer is called a broken anything before it is called a

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show? Is this distinction clear? Okay. Both are essential for every act for any art. But the difference is the show comes before and broken comes inside the actual art. Now nica has five heroes to it. nica has five shoe to add five preconditions to this app. Okay. We're going to go through them one by one. The first one.

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The first one is

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to specify the two spouses, the male and the female, specifying the two spouses, okay, common sense. But this will exclude for example, if a person has more than one daughter, and he tells a person or it tells the males that I'm going to marry you my daughter without specifying which one then this is not a proper shot, he has to specify which daughter if there are more than one there, marriageable agent, you know, they are not married as of yet. Okay, so the point is both the bride and the groom, if you like the male and the female, they have to be specified, it's common sense, you don't have to go into the evidence of this. Okay? The second one, the second shot, the second precondition that is

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necessary is that the male and the female are allowed to be married to one another, what does this remove? This removes what we talked about in the last lecture. Okay. What do we take in the last lecture, those people that cannot marry one another? Okay. So if they're related by blood, they're related by marriage, they're related by breastfeeding foster mother okay. These type of relationships are not allowed to marry with one another. So, the second condition is that there is no there is no boundary or prohibition for the to getting married. And we talked about these boundaries and permissions in the last lecture. Okay. So far, so clear, easy conditions, right.

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First one is specify male and female. Second one is that both are islamically allowed to get married, there is no prohibition between the two. They might be foster brother or sister or, you know, the the husband might already be married to the girl's wife, okay, this is temporary permission you cannot marry a woman and her wife at the same time. We discussed this last lecture, there was no so we took less time. The third condition, now we get into a little detail. The third shot is that the there must be a fully present. There must be a fully present. Okay, who is a worry? It really is a guardian of the girl. Okay. It really is a guardian of the girl, one who is in charge

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of the affairs of the girl. Okay, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam stated lanica in the valley, there is no nikka accent with a Willie. And this is a hadith reported by a Buddha with a $10 million if the merger or more and almost every book of sunon and.com. Okay, and Mohali has a chapter title. Bob danika high level is a chapter lanica except with a really no nigga except with a warning. So even before you put this idea in his chapter title, not in his actual book, and there is no doubt about the authenticity of this idea. It is clearly an authentic idea to the process and said there

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is no nigga except with a wedding. And I showed your loved one had reported any woman that marries herself reported to the process of themselves. Any woman that marries herself without a worry, then her marriage is valid, it is void. It is no four marriages. No her marriage is not three times the process and stated and Alisha herself reported as Heidi, that any woman that marries herself without a wedding without the permission of her wedding, then her nikka for marriage is void, null and void. And he said this three times for marriages both in their marriages belted for marriages, very explicit clear text that shows that it is necessary that a Willie is present in the marriage.

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Without a worry, there is no marriage. This is a necessary shock. Without a worry, there is no marriage. Now this is the opinion of the majority of the dilemma. Okay, of the Sharpies, and the humblest and the Maliki's and the warheads and the heavy. Well, the bodies have some difference, but in general, the Hanafi they just disagreed with it. And they said that it is allowed for a woman to marry without her wedding. Okay, so they said that it is allowed for a woman to marry without her wedding. And they use some evidence because we don't have time to discuss all of them. But because of the fact that this is very important. We're gonna discuss one or two of the evidences, the main

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evidence that they use in the Koran is the verse in Surah Baqarah, which states

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270 I don't have the first number, which takes Fela taboo.

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Allah is talking to

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the police, and he's saying don't prevent those women from getting married to the previous husbands. what occurred was that a wife was divorced from her husband, okay, so the wife went back to her brother, and his brother's name was a woman, okay, the wife went back to her brother. Now the husband proposed again for the second time. Now we're going to come to the condition that when a woman has already been married, then she is allowed to

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choose her spouse, she's allowed to accept and reject the proposal. Okay, we're going to talk about that a little while. So the man came again to propose to the woman, the same man that was married, the brother said, I gave her to you in marriage, and, you know, entered here and then divorced and returned it to me, I'm not going to give it back to you. Okay, in other words, as if you're just honored me by divorcing her again. So I'm not going to let her marry let her marry you again. Okay, so the woman wanted to marry the man.

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And the Prophet so sort of was present at the time, the Sahaba. So she complained to the profitsystem about this affair, that my brother is prohibiting me from marrying my previous husband, my ex husband, and I want to get married to him again, and he has married, he wants to marry me also. So Allah revealed in the Koran to this man, and also to this man meaning the oma after him. Allah revealed concerning this man do not prevent these women from marrying their spouses again, if they want to, do not prevent these women from marrying their spouses if they want to. Now out of the hand, it is useless for us who can understand?

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Not

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simple, what is the right thing?

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Don't refuse the marriage show the woman wants to marry?

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Don't refuse. So who has the right then the woman so this is you understand how to use this first, right? Everyone clear because it's important to understand the bits and pieces here. Right? Allah is talking to the men in this verse. And he is telling them Don't act as barriers don't prevent your women that are under your leadership that you are their worries don't prevent them from marrying their husbands if they want to. You don't have the right to prevent them. So how do the entities use this person?

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I like interactive classes. I said this last time.

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We already answered the first one.

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They say you don't need to worry because the law says you don't have the right to prevent them. Which means that women have the right to conduct their marriage. Okay. However, this verse is refutation against them at the same time. How is that? Who is the intelligent or not?

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No, no, no even we say that a 1d is needed for virgin, a non virgin both, okay?

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You're getting close. You're getting close.

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Very good. Mashallah beaten by a little child. All of you should be ashamed, Mashallah very intelligent. Allah is talking to the

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audience, he is talking to the lady in charge of the girl and he is telling him don't prevent her, which means that he has the rights and that is why he is being refused to prevent and a lot of talking to the men and not to the woman. Allah says to the men don't prevent them from marrying their husbands. And this shows you that the well he still has to be present. He just doesn't have the right to prevent them. In this case, which we're going to come to in 2030 minutes inshallah, but the will he still has to be present and that is what a low refers to them in reverse. You don't prevent them. You have to agree if she agrees.

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So he must, he cannot say no to the girl. He cannot say no to those requests, but he must feel the presence.

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Okay, so this verse is in fact a reputation against them. Because Allah is addressing the idea he is not addressing the woman. So because of the fact that he has the right to adventure and that is why she went to the Prophet most of them in the first place. So the process would have said, No, you don't have the right to say no, you just have to say yes. So he still has to say yes, so the world event still must be present, whether it's a virgin or a non virgin. And the idea is very exclusive. Like we said, lanica individually, there is no nigga except with a wedding. Okay, and another proof that the honeybees use is the famous Hadith that the non virgin are the one that would the widow

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woman or the divorce seed woman, she has more rights concerning herself than the virgin woman.

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The non widowed are assuming the widowed woman or the divorcing one of the one the woman that has been married before, and either she got divorced or husband died. She has more right concerning her future marriages than they were leaders.

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And the virgin she must also be asked and her consent is reassignment. So this has he stayed with it, everyone knows it. So how does the honeybees use this Hadji?

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The Hadith says that she has more rights than her wedding. Okay. But this hadith is also a petition against them. The fact that she has more rights than what he shows that when he still has a right

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the one he still has a right of being present and agreeing to the new guy. Okay, he doesn't have the right of saying no, the divorce, he has more control over a future marriage. Okay, she can say I want to marry this man that will you cannot say no to that. But he must still be present and enact to the marriage contract. Okay, and we're going to talk about that in more detail. But the point is, that a Will you must be present no matter whether the girl is a virgin or a non virgin. The will is still must be present in the kneecap. Okay.

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I say you have to be nasty Herman Walia. That just a boy's a divorcee or the woman that has previously been married, she has more rights concerning herself, then her wedding. So this is the portion that you need to know. Okay, now, we talked about Yeah,

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we're discussing a little while. Okay. Now we talked about the fact that it is essential to have a wedding for any marriage, it doesn't matter no matter whether the girl's been married 20 times or no times before a wedding must be present at that marriage. Now who is actually who is the value of the girl? Well first of all we have to know that the well he has seven characteristics that must be present in him seven characteristics everybody for every girl must have the seven characteristics present in him okay. The first one is that he must be a male the one he must be a male there's no such thing as a female one Okay, the one he must be a male. The second one he must be saying so, an

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insane person is excluded second one is you must be saying third one he must be of age valid okay. So, a child cannot act as a what he must be of age Okay, fourth one he must be a free man. So a slave cannot act as a bully okay. Fifth condition is he must be of the same religion as the girl. So if the girl is a Christian then what is also going to be a Christian unless you know the sun conditions are but basically this must be the same religion as the girl if the if the girl is a Muslim her well he must be a Muslim. So a convert can further veer away from her father did not convert. No, because if condition is not met, they must be the same religion. Okay, sixth condition

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is that he must have something called Adela which means

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integrity, okay, Islamic integrity. Okay, and the seventh one is he must have what's called an Arabic rushed which means he is capable of deciding who is a proper suitor for his daughter the word not necessarily daughter anyone that the Wali He must be capable of making decisions that are in the interest of the girl. Okay, now we're going to talk about the sixth and seventh condition the first five are pretty much clear right? The first five are clear right the first one is what

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male I mean it's understood I mean no woman is going to be a winner you have another woman second one same third one of age makes common sense says industry are well known that of age and sanity are factored in anything you know to make to make it wider upon you the fourth one is he must be free it doesn't matter no chance everyone is free 100 others there's no such thing as slavery in general fifth one also same religion common sense you know a non Muslim father cannot be a woody to her Muslim daughter okay. Makes sense. I mean the Muslims are what is of the Muslims Okay. Now the sixth one What do I mean by this one we have to discuss now and this is a big is still unclear what

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exactly qualifies as integrity. Okay.

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Most ruler not. For example, the scholars of Hadith they say that integrity either means that he must be performing the requirements of Islam and leaving the major sins. So he must be praying five times a day fasting Ramadan, Ramadan, giving the guy and leaving the major sins such as Xena, you know, such as killings such as stealing such as fornication, okay? If he does this, he is considered ideas or integrity. But when it comes to the guy, the scholars have been even more lacks than this. When it comes to the mountains of Nicaragua scholars have been more lacks to this because this is because of the fact that most men

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Do not meet this criterion in our time. The fact of the matter is most men don't pray five times a day. Okay? And most of them are really involved in major sins especially in America, for example, interest many men are involved in interest. Again, this is one of the major major sins, okay? Their house might be a mortgage or karma or mortgage. So when it comes to Nick Acton scholars have been a bit lacks. And they said that as long as you know, is Adela is not going to cause him to get his daughter married off in any reason for example, he's taking drugs and he just gets a daughter married to any person that proposes a fastest and evil person and this type of either in general He

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must be some type of integrity must be within some type of Islamic integrity. Okay?

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For example, if he's a molten open because I don't believe in Islam, obviously, or he's, you know, he says that Islam is something of the past I don't need to deal with it. I might be Muslim by birth, but I don't care about it. These types of things, obviously exclusive from our data, but in general as long as he is a Muslim inshallah we'll include them in our data as long as the Muslim and is concerned for the religion you know, will include that inshallah his audience. Now, what do I mean by the seven categories? rushed? How do we translate rushed as the seventh thing is

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capable of making decision? What we mean by this? Is that

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just like, for example, a person if you want to trust him with some money, okay, you will want to test is he capable of handling that money in a good manner? Is he wise in his investments? Okay, we're not talking about his sanity, he might be saying, but he might not be well with money, he might not be good at handling money. Okay. He might be brothers, but he might not know how to make the proper investments with money. So when we're talking about nikka, Russia, what are the seven categories of you know, what, what do you require? What we imply or what we mean is that the person must be capable of looking after the interests of the group,

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he must have that common sense, if you like, to look after the interests of the girl, that he must know what is for her good and what is for her back. So when a proposal come, he can analyze the person, will he be suitable for my daughter or the person that I'm the video or not? Okay. So in other words, he must have something called common sense if you like, okay, mean doesn't require a PhD? Just, is this person going to be compatible with my daughter? Is he suitable religiously? islamically? financially? You know, all the criteria are good for my daughter, yes. Or no, he's capable of making this decision. Basically, what to call it common sense. You can call it common

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sense. Okay. But common sense is different from sanity a person might be saying, right, but he might not have this type of capability. So this is what we included as a separate category. So is this clear the seven categories that everyone you must have? Okay.

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Now, okay, we're gonna come into that situation. When does she do okay, now we've talked about the characteristics of the Willie now, who is a person is where the who is the woman's ready. First and foremost, without any doubt is her father, the woman's father, if you need the seven criteria, he is ready. This is without any doubt and he has the strongest will I have the strongest relationship if you like, no other person can be as strong already as the Father. Okay, this is by age, not by unanimous consensus. The first person is the Father, the girl's father is usually if the father is not present, suppose he is, you know, dead or missing or presumed dead or unknown whereabouts okay?

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Or when he doesn't meet one of these conditions, like he's not a Muslim, and then it moves to the father's father, the grandfather is okay.

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If they also are not present, or they are not, they don't fulfill these seven criteria. Then it moves to the sun. How can move to the sun?

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A widow Exactly. Yeah, a woman was divorced and she has a son that is valid and the meaning of he moves to the sun, or the sun sun, continually. Okay, if the day two are not present, then it moves to the brother.

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The brother the full brother than the step brother and the half brother, we talked about this last last week. What is the full brother? What is the half brother was a step brother, okay, it moves to her brother. If the brother is also not present, it moves to the brothers sons.

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Okay. Likewise, if the brothers don't meet the criteria, they move to the uncles and the most of the uncle, son. And then finally, when you're out of all relatives, okay, all relatives from the father's side, by the way, the way he always is in the father's side, not in the mother's side. The way of the girl is always in the father's side. So we say uncle, we mean father's brother. Okay. We mean father's brother, not mother's brother. And when you say Uncle Sam, his father's brothers sons, if all of these relatives either they don't exist or they don't meet these criteria that we talked about, they don't exist, then they will he moves to the leader, the Muslim leader, okay. So for

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example, if you're in a Muslim country, it will move to the court of law in any Muslim country, there will be automatically becomes a court of law. Okay, in a non Muslim country, I asked the scholars about this. Jeff what they mean have we Lola he said that the Willie is the Islamic Center closest to her so for example, in Houston it will be is gh. I assume it would be then they have a conference call. For example. A girl converted none of her family relatives are Muslim, her father for Spanish she has one her brothers her uncle's another Muslim for when he automatically becomes is Jewish. Okay, so in order for her to get married, she must then get the approval of Isaiah or

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whatever. She's in Israel.

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City, the local email the local community, the leader of that community becomes your Monday automatically. In a Muslim country, no problems you go to this permit court in a non Muslim country such as visiting or when they automatically become these comic center closest to her area or house. Okay, so the wedding must be present. So this is the point someone has got to be ready. And if they don't even have an Islamic Center, suppose they're in some small community really doesn't have an Islamic Center unless you and then any Muslim that meets these criteria can become okay but the Wali must be present for the marriage to

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go for it. Now suppose there is a what is for example, the father, okay. And there's another one for example, the brother

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who has priority obviously, the father has priority. So it is not allowed. We mentioned the whole series of categories is not allowed to move to the next stage.

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If there is a person present in the first date that meets the criteria, so a girl wants to get married, her father says know her brother says okay, I don't mind it doesn't matter if the father meets these criteria, okay, if the father meets these criteria,

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and he is a Muslim, only certain certain criteria are met and he's alive and present, it is not allowed to move to a further category of wilaya of worship, it has to be in this order, okay. And it is not allowed to the marriage contract is not valid if you use a further when he when a closer what he is present. Okay, if you use a far away and a close what he is present in marriage contract is not valid, especially with regards to the Father, all the enema have unanimous consensus, the father has a unique status. Above all other words, the father in particular, has a unique status over all other ones. Okay, so we talked about the

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levels of weight of what is how they go about, okay. Also, you should know if the father is pregnant, or anybody that's closer, and he allows another person to be the way this is also allowed. Okay, so for example, a sister is here, her father is in Connecticut, or Pakistan or Zimbabwe, okay? He's not present physically, or even he is, but you know, he doesn't he can't be the one he for some reason he doesn't want to be, it's allowed for the father to say, I appoint brother, or Brother Mohammed or brother, so and so who does meet these seven criteria to be your wedding. So the father can give up his will I also, okay, and this comes in handy. For example, if he's 1000s and 1000s of

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miles away, okay. Even though like we'll discuss, he doesn't have to be physically present for the marriage ceremony. But still, it's up to him, he can say, I have a good friend in that city, he'll be your one. Okay, I give my Wi Fi over to him for your marriage. Okay, so if the one of the what is the main one, he agrees to hand over his will to another person, as long as that person meets these criteria, it's also allowed, okay. So this is a convenient thing that we should know, if we ever get into a situation, the father or whoever is the one who can hand over the whether it's his choices, his right to hand over the light to anyone that meets these criteria. Okay. Now, how do you remove

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the word ego? How do you remove the bully? Why would you want to remove it? First of all?

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He's not doing his job, probably, yeah, he's not doing his job. Okay. Or he doesn't mean the third criterion. Well, islamically speaking, you have to go to a court of law to do it, the colleague, the judge has to remove the worry. So for example, if the father is a fact, if an evil person, okay, and the girl is scared that she might not get the proper suitor, because her father is not going to look at this woman characteristics, for example, then they have to go to a court of law, and the judge then becomes the body of the girl, or he will appoint another person to be the way so you must go to a higher authority to remove the belly of the of the Father. Okay, the problem arises in America, we

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don't have a court of law. Okay, and I don't have a solution for this. There is no solution, as far as I know. I mean,

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you're giving him powers that he doesn't have, the leader of the community does not have the status status of a hobby. The hobby has the right to enact rulings that the leader doesn't, okay, the party, for example, can say this person is going to be flogged to death, okay, or stoned to death, or his hands gonna be cut off. He has that power. The ISDS doesn't have that power, because you need an Islamic State behind you. Okay, now we're living in a non Western State such as America or England or whatever. We have these problems that are cropping up that didn't exist in the past. Okay. No one really has come out and given a good answer for this.

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It doesn't exist in America.

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Really, I don't know, I didn't hear about this, you know, the boy, this is definitely a problem that has to be addressed and solved at a national level. Okay, at a national and this is very relevant, especially in America. For example, the girl will say that my father is not a practicing Muslim. He couldn't care less about the proposal. If it's a brother's practice or not, he takes drugs or take alcohol he does this or that. I don't want him to be my wedding. Okay, what is to be done in this situation? This is definitely a national problem that needs to be resolved. And the books that fit as far as I know, they really don't don't talk about this because it never existed before that the

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Muslims are the minority, and they are being ruled by capitalists. This has never exist.

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really an Islamic Society in general. I mean, I'm sure there are some fringe cases. But in general, a whole society of Muslims living in non Muslims had never occurred before. This is one of the first times the 20th century, where so many millions of Muslims are under non Islamic law. Okay, this didn't exist before. So the books haven't talked about that what needs to be done is at the national level, the our leaders have to go and get fat to adapt to get procedures of how we deal with the situation, but it is definitely a problem that I don't have a solution for. Okay, how do you remove the well being in a place where there is known as Islamic church? This is definitely the problem.

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And now you will say the Islamic center? Well, let me tell you what happens. A girl falls in love with a boy a boy falls over the god common occurrence in this country. Okay. The father says, oh, for legitimate reasons, legitimate reasons. Okay. There might be some reason that, you know, we're gonna talk about these reasons. In the next lecture, he's allowed to say no to the girl because of her love and the boy because of his love. They just go to the local Masjid or local enough, the mom says, No, they go to another mom, they go to another one. They basically hunt and search for someone that finally says yes, and they do the marriage contract. And I know seat situation in case it would

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this has been done. Okay. So then abused the principle. In principle, you might be right that that is us leader, a mom should have this right. But practically speaking, this leads to many problems, many problems, okay. And I know of a case in Houston, where, you know, the local community just allowed it to occur. And the father had a legitimate reason for saying no, and the community leader, he, because he didn't know anything about this, he was fine. I'll let you guys get married. And he took over and this caused a big problem in the community and amongst his family in particular. Okay, so this causes many logistical problems, if you will say that the leader can become the winner.

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Okay. That is why I asked him and I asked where the major winner Medina, he said, I don't know, I don't have a solution to this. It's a unique situation, who is going to be because the judge is going to be impartial. And he is in the army. He is an argument. He knows what to look at. The energy moves and as always, I mean, all due respect is I don't have any knowledge and neither are they qualified to be judges. Okay. So because of this, you get to logistical problems. That's why a lot of a lot of, you know, try to get them to agree by any means possible. Try to get them to agree if it needs to be done. So this is then the third shelf of Nika. What is the first shell? Going back

00:27:11--> 00:27:11

to our electric?

00:27:14--> 00:27:15

Huh?

00:27:16--> 00:27:20

Yeah, the first step is specify the bride and the groom. The second shelf is

00:27:22--> 00:27:59

they're allowed to marry there's no problem between the two that prevents them from getting married. Okay, we talked about that the last week the last ones is lecture. The third shot is the one he must be present. Okay, the Wali must be present. And there are exquisite headaches and chronic is to prove this, for example, when I grew up, I didn't mention a lot as an opponent. When I came to him, he came to me when I, whenever we will, I don't care i'm wish to get back to you. And don't basically reverse translate that don't let your daughter's married mushrikeen until they accept it. Don't be the wedding of a person of a girl that is going to get married to a normal stuff. So a lot

00:27:59--> 00:28:34

of talking to whom now the men that worry and he's saying Don't let your daughters or your people that you're in charge of getting married to machine. So it means they have the right they are the ones in charge of the marriage. Okay. That's the proof for the fact that you need to worry Okay, likewise the athlete is very explicit lanica in February, there is no nickel except with every nickel whether the girl is a virgin or not the President didn't specify it's open no nigga except with a very like quite harsh report is that the President said any woman that marries without a marriage is void her marriage is void her marriage is void three times he said this is extreme thing

00:28:34--> 00:28:45

apostasy repeating a three times any woman whether she's virgin or widowed doesn't matter if she marries without a worry that her marriage is void her marriages void her marriages and is also reported in the books of this unit authentic it

00:28:46--> 00:29:21

we talked about the truth of the woody and that everybody must meet the seven truths, okay. He must meet the savage truth and it is not allowed for a person to get married in the presence of a father when he went near what he is present. Okay, you must go in this order the father and then the father's father, the son and then the Son Son, you know goes on, and then the brother, the full brother, the step brothers, half brothers, then the brothers children, the brothers sons, excuse me, then the uncle, the father's brother, and then the uncle signs. And then if all of these people are not present, then they when he moves to the local Imam, the Guardian, the party or whatever it is

00:29:21--> 00:29:30

the call the the judge, whatever it is, if a country moves to the Islamic Center, okay, and we said that is allowed for the rally to pass on the body to another person, he can say you will be the woody

00:29:32--> 00:29:42

for this marriage contract, this is the third shot, the fourth shot in the marriage contract. We will try to get questions at the end there'll be a question answer session inshallah. The fourth shot in the marriage contract is

00:29:44--> 00:29:45

who can get

00:29:50--> 00:29:51

the approval of both spouses?

00:29:53--> 00:29:56

the approval of both spouses. What do I mean by approval?

00:29:58--> 00:29:58

I mean,

00:30:00--> 00:30:14

To accept that the brother wants to get married and the sister wants to get married, the male wants to get rid of the femur wants to get married. So the fourth condition is that the male and the female, the parties that are involved in the marriage contract, they must agree to the marriage. Okay? So if the man doesn't want to get married,

00:30:16--> 00:30:42

the marriage contract is in place. If the woman isn't gonna want to get married to this man, the marriage contract is not going to play. Okay. Now, there are certain with regards to the male will divide into two categories. Three puberty and post purity. Okay, pre puberty male, the father can get him married. without his consent, he doesn't need to ask pre beauty mill means the girl the boy might be four or five, six years old. Okay. The father can get married, what are you getting married?

00:30:44--> 00:31:16

The marriage contract? Yeah, the marriage contract is valid even amongst babies, doesn't matter. Even amongst maybe the marriage contract is valid. Okay, the contract is valid doesn't mean that they're going to have intercourse means that the marriage contract is in effect and in place. And this is up to the father of the boy and the father of the girl. Okay, if the father of a boy the father will agree we're going to get our children married, even though they might be babies or might be pre puberty. In this case, the father has the right he doesn't have to ask the child. Okay, because the Father has the right to get his son married before the age of purity. After the age of

00:31:16--> 00:31:49

puberty, after the child has become balanced. Okay, after he's reached puberty, the male then the Father has no right to force him. Then he must make up his own mind whether he wants to get married or not, and who he wants to get married to. Okay. Obviously, you know, the Islamic culture has it as a father picks the girl but then it's up to the boy to accept or reject. Okay, well, we call it arranged marriages. So the boy must be content and he must be willing and wanting to marry this girl. Okay, before puberty, it doesn't matter if the father can get them married. And obviously once he reaches the age of puberty, he has the right to another marriage. That's another point. But

00:31:49--> 00:32:13

before puberty, the boy can get married without his consent. Without his approval, the father can do that. This is what's requested the boy. Now this gets to the girl. Now here's where the Escalade comes, this was not developed before. Now the SLR comes with regards to the girl with the girl will say three situations. Okay. Three situations with regards to the growth. There are actually four we're not gonna talk about the fourth one. The first situation is she is a virgin and before the age of puberty,

00:32:14--> 00:32:23

a virgin before the age of puberty. Okay, the first situation the first scenario, this by age law, the father is allowed to marry the girl

00:32:24--> 00:32:35

without her permission, without her approval, a virgin before the age of just like the boy, just like the boy before the age of puberty. Okay, and the proof for this is the incident of the process of himself when he married who

00:32:36--> 00:33:09

I shall do lawanna I should did not even know she was getting married. She did not even know she was getting married. Like she says that her mother called her anyway, she was playing with the friends that she was nine years old. She and the woman from the farm, prepare her for as a bride. And she went through the process and she didn't even know she got married when she was six years old before the age of puberty. Okay, she remember she was six years old. And when she reached the age of puberty, that's when the consummation of the marriage occurs. Okay, so it is allowed for the father to marry off his daughter, meaning the new guy doesn't mean the intercourse means the kneecap. The

00:33:09--> 00:33:10

kneecap can take place

00:33:12--> 00:33:31

when the girl has not received approval, and her approval is not needed. Okay, her approval is not necessary. However, the girl does have the right in this situation to another marriage once she does reach the age of puberty. She has the right once she does reach a age of puberty. She'll say I don't want to marry this person. So the marriage contract will be null and void. Okay will not take place into effect.

00:33:33--> 00:33:48

So this is the first scenario clear situation right? pre puberty. Virgin girl. second scenario, post puberty. Virgin girl. There's a virgin girl never married before, and she is after the age of puberty. Okay, now, does the father have the right to force her or not?

00:33:52--> 00:33:53

According to Islam Islam.

00:33:58--> 00:34:18

On the contrary, the majority of this is a surprising point, the majority of diorama of the Sharpies and handling and Maliki and the VA Hadees stated that it is allowed for the father to force his virgin daughter that is past the age of puberty into marriage.

00:34:20--> 00:34:22

The only major men have that said no worthy

00:34:23--> 00:34:57

Hennessey's Okay, so now once we decided against them, now we're starting with them, okay. hamdulillah we're starting with them. But we don't say with dimensions we start with we side with the headings of the process and whatever the hell he says this is our method, okay. Now, we say that the Hennessy opinion is the correct one, the Hanafi state that it is not allowed for the father to force to force the virgin girl that is past age or period into marriage. She must be asked and her consent must be taught. If she says no, the marriage cannot take place. The majority of elements that if she says no, doesn't matter, the father can still take the marriage can still go ahead with

00:34:57--> 00:35:00

the marriage, however clearly from the 100

00:35:00--> 00:35:35

These the clear root ruling ruling and verdict is that girls that are past the age of puberty have the right to say no, because the process of them said that the virgin girl her father will ask her permission and because the virgin girl her father will ask her permission, okay. And her permission is her silence for permission is for silence. So we say that and also the person said that the orphan girl must be asked to overrule your Thema basically means the virgin Girl by hers whose father died and she was never married before. Okay, the root the the orphan girl, she must be asked and her consented assignments.

00:35:36--> 00:36:08

Okay, these are authentic hadith in Bukhari and Muslim and many books of it, where the processing clearly says that the virgin girl must be asked. Now, what is the point of asking her? If she doesn't have the right of saying no? Right? This is the proof against the majority? What is the point of asking her? Why do you even ask her if the majority say that? It doesn't matter whether she says yes or no? What's the point of asking? So the headings clearly go against the majority opinion and they side with the Hanafi? opinion? Okay, so for one month, Allah, the worship, we went against the Hanafi, to say, we don't agree with you, for this matter. The Muslim is the point of agreement,

00:36:08--> 00:36:27

we side with the entities we say, Yes, we must take permission of the Virgin girl. If the girl says no, then the marriage contract does not take place. Okay, so the father must take permission from his daughter, and the wedding, if it's the brother or whatever, he must take permission from the woman before the marriage contract will go into effect and

00:36:28--> 00:36:36

proceed with the marriage ceremony. Now the difference, however, is that the virgin girl, she doesn't need to verbalize. She doesn't need to say yes, All she needs to do is

00:36:38--> 00:37:10

remain silent. Okay, because when the process of him said that the virgin girls must be asked, now this was something new, because the Japanese are of their interest to ask them to get married. The Jayanti of they would get their daughters married without any questioning that he will come home and say you're married to this man, whether you like it or not tough luck, okay? Because they would base it on their journey, system and culture. So the processing came with the religion of Islam, and he said no, you must ask the virgin girls. So then the harder they asked another question, he said, Yasuo law, the virgin girl, she is very shy, she's not going to say yes. Now that was back in those

00:37:10--> 00:37:34

days and our times is different. This is true, really? I mean, I'm not putting women down this is true when the virgin girl of today is not you want to marry someone, so most likely, she'll say yes or no, you know, back in those days, there was such a sense of modesty such a sense of higher we call an object of shame that she will be embarrassed even to say yes to her father, she will be too embarrassed even to say yes. Okay. So, the process of them gave away out he said to her silence is her consent.

00:37:35--> 00:37:53

So, when she is asked by her father, do you want to marry so until she remained silent to remain silent? That is taken as a yes. That is taken as a yes. Okay. So when the when he asked to grow, so as to have proposed, I want to say yes to Him, if she remains silence in the marriage contract is in effect, it is it is it is valid.

00:37:54--> 00:38:27

So, the girls must realize this, the women must realize this, but if there are vergence, okay, they their silence means that yes, they just have to remain silent and automatically that takes that it's taken as a yes. So they must realize this and be aware of it. Okay, but if they don't say anything, it is this is different with regards to the divorced woman or the woman who has been married before, she must come out and say yes, if she's silent, it means no. Okay, she must come out and say yes. So this was a second scenario. What are we talking about? It isn't everyone's still on track when we're talking about number four, which is

00:38:28--> 00:38:31

consent, we're talking about the three scenarios the first scenario is

00:38:35--> 00:38:37

very good. The first scenario is

00:38:39--> 00:38:46

virgin that is, before age of puberty. second scenario is virgin after the previous third scenario is what?

00:38:47--> 00:39:22

Non virgin after puberty very good. Okay. That non virgin non virgin meaning that she has been widowed or divorced. In Arabic, the word is the game and it applies to both widows and divorcees in English, we have to differentiate widow and divorce. But in Arabic, the word is one, basically a woman who is not a virgin for a legitimate reason we're not we're not talking about dinner. When I talk about fornication. We're talk about for legitimate reason. She is not a virgin anymore. Either husband divorced her or husband died. Okay, concerning this woman, okay. Her consent must be stated she must say yes, I agree. And on top of that, she has more rights than her body. This is what we

00:39:22--> 00:40:00

talked about in the last section. Also, the body does not have the right to say no, the woman must be present. He must go ahead with the marriage, but she teach he does not have the right to say no. Okay, this is in contrast to the version where both the girl and the father must agree. Okay. It's like, if you like computer language like an if, and this both must be met. Okay? If the father says yes, and if the girl agrees. Okay, both these conditions must be met for the marriage to go forth. If either of the two say no, then the marriage contract will not go for it. However for divorcees, divorce deed, I don't know what's proposed divorces right. Divorce is already

00:40:00--> 00:40:36

widowed women, in this case, the one he doesn't have to approve, he just has to be present. The approval rests on her shoulders, whether she wants to marry or not. And this goes back to the infallibility of the Sharia. And that Allah subhanaw taala created a woman and he knows them better than they know themselves and that the virgin girl is swayed by her desires and emotions much more than the ones who have had experience of marriage. The one once tasted marriage knows what to look for in a husband. Okay, she will be much more cautious and selective whereas the one who has never been married, she is the one that is romantic and her you know, thoughts and ideas and she doesn't

00:40:36--> 00:41:09

quite she doesn't have the maturity to make that decision. That is why Allah has made it mandatory for the girl to have a wedding and not the boy Okay, the girl has the money because the wedding will take into account factors that she will overlook and gold Okay, so for the virgin to get married, both parties must agree the girl and the wedding for the non virgin to get married the what he has to say yes to whatever the girl says the girl says I'm gonna marry so and so the way he has to be there and take and conduct the marriage ceremony. He doesn't have the right to say no. And this is the meaning of the Prophet Hadees the the non virgin has more of a right concerning herself that her

00:41:09--> 00:41:45

wedding and the virgin must be asked and her contenders are some of the famous Hadith in Bukhari and Muslim in many books that the non virgin the widowed and the divorcees, she has more rights concerning herself meaning her marriage that her what he does, but what he cannot say no. Okay, but the virgin still has a right and she must be asked, as her silence is her consent for silence is her approval. Okay, so these are four noble truths, we have one left and the last one is that two witnesses must be present. Two Witnesses must be present. The processor said lanica. In the village in Russia Today it is reported in a Buddha wood and other books, there is no liquor except with a

00:41:45--> 00:41:49

Willie and two other witnesses. We define it Who remembers what I didn't

00:41:52--> 00:41:54

know, I didn't. I did.

00:41:56--> 00:42:11

Just Islamic integrity, okay, Islamic integrity. So two witnesses must be present for the marriage contract to take into effect. Okay, these witnesses, they must be male. Number one, they must be male. Number two, they must be of age. Number three, they must be

00:42:12--> 00:42:47

sane, okay, they must be safe. And number four, they must be they must have integrity. In other words, they must be saying the five prayers avoid the major sins. Okay. So the, when a person is getting married, gets married, he should make sure that the two people that are witnessing the most contracts are people of integrity of honor, of character of morale, that they are good practicing Islam, they're avoiding the major sins because the Prophet said, there is no Nick Axtell, except with a Willie and two witnesses of added meaning of integrity. So you should look at your people that marriage that witness the marriage contract, they should be people of integrity, that they are

00:42:47--> 00:43:02

pious practicing Muslims. Okay, so people should choose practicing Muslims to be there. While you likewise the assuming they're witnesses, the witnesses have to be male. This is because zubiri stated that it is assumed that those that came before us So when did he die? By the way?

00:43:05--> 00:43:09

I'm asking that we went over this in the month long lecture many many times.

00:43:13--> 00:43:17

sometime before 14 2020 as already died 120 oh

00:43:18--> 00:43:45

129 I think I went 26. Okay, so he doesn't 120 700 was the second generation after the Sahaba. Okay, so as already stated that it was assumed to have those before us, the Sahaba and the tambourine that they would not accept the testimony of women, that Shahada of women, when it came to nikka and Pollock, and punishments, meaning like Xena, and stealing and murder, you would not accept the testimony of a woman This is something that the scholars have

00:43:46--> 00:44:05

Yani stated that the testimony of woman is not accepted in these three things. That no matter how many women are there, you don't accept the testimony in marriage, in divorce and in Islamic crimes or punishment. You need the testimony of two men. Okay. Women testimony are accepted in other fields such as economic transactions, Allah says that one man equals

00:44:06--> 00:44:38

two women. Okay. Also in when it comes to breastfeeding, foster feeding, the testimony of one one woman is sufficient. Okay. the testimony of one woman is sufficient. Why because obviously she's the one that did the breastfeeding now no man would have seen her do the breastfeeding in general. So the testimony of one woman is sufficient when it comes to the testimony there are different categories of testimonials. Some of them you need only men some of them men and woman some of them only woman. Okay, for example, breastfeeding you need only woman to testify, but for the marriage contract you only need women to testify oh excuse me stuff at all men to testify. Okay, two men must

00:44:38--> 00:44:42

testify. So these are the five rules of nigga everyone clear on this? What is the first shot

00:44:47--> 00:44:51

specify military? Well there are no the bride and groom are known second shot.

00:44:54--> 00:44:58

very eager Mashallah you have a few years left you know you can digest this information.

00:45:00--> 00:45:01

The second chart is that

00:45:02--> 00:45:08

the second chart is that there is no permission for the man or the woman to get married. We talked about this in the last lecture, what are the privileges? The third chart someone else?

00:45:11--> 00:45:16

Well, you must be present Okay, the value must be present no matter what the situation is the fourth show

00:45:18--> 00:45:21

approval from both spouses. Okay, what is the exception to the fourth rule?

00:45:26--> 00:45:45

before puberty, exactly. before puberty, before puberty, the approval is unnecessary. after puberty, the approval is necessary for both the male and the female. This is the correct opinion. Okay, the fifth chapter is to witnesses must be present. So these are the shadows of nikka. What is a shark by the way? Who remembers? Yes, you're talking so much what does it show?

00:45:47--> 00:45:48

Okay, so what is left? No.

00:45:50--> 00:45:51

Little cool. So you

00:45:53--> 00:46:08

broken, broken, okay, so these are the five should have any nica any cat must have this as root. Now we get to the actual root cause of lenica. Okay, very simple. Every nigga has two broken or two or coins or tokens to them, depending on how much original

00:46:09--> 00:46:15

tokens, okay, combining English and Arabic, then we need to look once for every nigga.

00:46:21--> 00:46:23

We need to look on for every nickel, very simple.

00:46:24--> 00:46:26

The first token is

00:46:27--> 00:46:38

the proposal. And the second token is the acceptance. The proposal and the acceptance. The first look on is the proposal and the second organism is the acceptance. What are we talking about? No one understands what we're talking about.

00:46:40--> 00:47:02

The actual kneecap What is it composed of? We talked about the preconditions. These are the five preconditions of nica, the actual kneecap ceremony, what is that composed of just two things? Once these five preconditions have been met, we can move on now to the two tokens. The first token is proposal the second token is accepted. Now let me ask you, who does the proposing

00:47:05--> 00:47:11

the woman Okay, we have the woman what other options do we have? Let's see. You said the groom. You said the groom, who else

00:47:13--> 00:47:14

we have the worry of a third person are

00:47:18--> 00:47:20

the witnesses. Mashallah.

00:47:22--> 00:47:23

Even better?

00:47:25--> 00:47:26

You have anyone?

00:47:28--> 00:47:30

That was a good one, I didn't even think of that possibility.

00:47:32--> 00:47:34

someone in the audience, maybe you don't when it came to attend the marriage.

00:47:40--> 00:47:43

Okay, so you're saying the man proposes to?

00:47:44--> 00:47:53

So Willie, and then the one he accepts? Okay, this is one scenario that the brother mentioned. And the other scenarios in mind, I'm just seeing your general level of Islamic knowledge here.

00:47:55--> 00:48:14

None of these is the correct answer. None of them is the correct answer. And really, this is something that is very, I was guilty of it, too. I had no idea that the acceptance of the proposal doesn't involve these parties that we just mentioned. Okay. And this is not a setup. This is something that is accepted by all the scholars. The proposal comes from the wedding.

00:48:15--> 00:48:20

The wedding is the one that proposes to the groom, and the groom does the

00:48:22--> 00:48:32

accepting, this is the Islamic way of nica. Okay, the girl's father proposes, he says, I give to you, Mohammed, even, you know,

00:48:33--> 00:49:15

my daughter thought him or whatever, okay, in marriage, and the groom says, I accepted this proposal. Okay, this is the Islamic way of marriage. Amazingly, most people are absolutely immune to this, and I was a Muslim until you go and study Islam. And this shows you how sad how much influence you are by this culture. You know, we don't even know there is no setup. As far as I know about this is something that all the scholars talk about the Father, the girls, well, he is the one that does the proposing. Okay. And the groom is the one that accepts. Now we have to, don't get confused between two, two situations. The one situation is that we're interested in a girl. So the brother

00:49:15--> 00:49:48

the boy might propose to the girl's father that I'm interested in marrying your daughter. This isn't the new guy. This isn't the new guy. This is that are you going to say yes to me or No? Okay? Once the Nika has been arranged the actual nikka ceremony, the actual kneecap What is that? This is separate from the proposals I was given before. Okay, you want to call that the engagement? You want to call it anything that's different. The actual nigga has total constituents. The first one is that the girls what he proposes. The second one is that the groom accepts what occurred before that depends on culture and customs.

00:49:52--> 00:49:59

Okay, the actual nigga takes place right on a certain date. This is when we're, this is when this needs to be done. What happened before that was a brother proposed to the family and the time

00:50:00--> 00:50:24

He said yes. And they arranged the date and the big party in a wedding. And we went out and everything was arranged. Now everyone shows up. They want to see the niqab ceremony. This is what we're talking about. We're not talking about what happened before, then we're talking about the actual 10. Second, Nick asked him when he the father will say, okay, the father will say, I give you my daughter in marriage, and has the the groom will say, Yes, I accept. This is what we're talking about. Okay.

00:50:28--> 00:50:56

Well, this goes back to culture. Now, believe it or not, in the good old days, okay. There was no such thing as proposing. The girl's father would have a keen eye on the vocal bachelors, and he was see which one is suitable for his daughter, he would go to the boy, I know, this is what everyone dreams about doesn't occur anymore. He would go to the boy and say, and say, do you want to marry my daughter? You know? And believe it or not, many would say no, I'm not interested in your daughter. I'm looking for someone. But these are the good old days. Okay. Now, like an old days where people would jump up and say,

00:50:58--> 00:51:21

No, this is this is 1999. Now, it doesn't work that way. Okay. But the point is, we're talking about the new guy ceremony, the actual nigga, what occurs before this is all cultural. Okay, the boy proposes this isn't any guy with a boy, you know, the boy's parents might call it the grossmont. This isn't many guy. These are just the customary things that are done. And it varies from culture to culture. Okay, so

00:51:26--> 00:51:44

yeah, let's keep the questions to an end. But let me just point out, since most of the people didn't get married, based on this 100 our marriage didn't take place in my marriage, I made sure that it happened this way. But since most marriages don't take place, this were based on ignorance and Charlotte's Alright, you know, but when we know now, we should make an effort to do it the proper way. Okay. Also, we have to realize that

00:51:46--> 00:51:58

implicit implicit proposal is the same as exquisite proposals. So when the father is present there, and the whole marriage is taking place is understood. He's saying yes to it. Okay. But the point is, we should follow the sooner and the sooner is that

00:52:00--> 00:52:33

the actual Macau documents, or even the process of proposed to the woman, he proposed to Booker, Florida, okay. And I look at a Greek, but the actual nigga is different from the proposal, you have to understand the difference. Okay? What occurs before the nigga, this is cultural, the man can go up to the boy and say you want to marry my daughter? The boy can say yes. And that's it, then the cat is done. If there are two witnesses present, that is the nigga if, you know the man came to the person's house, he had no idea the father just proposed right then in there, do you want to marry my daughter? And there are two witnesses present? The man says yes, then the guard is complete. This is

00:52:33--> 00:52:44

the bare minimum they got requirements. Okay, with the five conditions have been met, and the acceptance and proposal, the tokens have been done. And the story. So this family proposal is very simple. Do you need a marriage contract?

00:52:46--> 00:52:58

No, you don't. We just talked about these two tokens. You don't need to have it in writing. If you do, it's very good. But you don't need to have it in writing. As long as the two witnesses were present. And they've heard the proposal and the acceptance.

00:52:59--> 00:53:08

And the five rules have been met that we talked about the marriages. Okay? You don't need a marriage contract. You don't need anything fancy. You don't need to go to a court anything. Nothing is meant to okay.

00:53:10--> 00:53:17

Even Okay, the groom does not have to be present, the girl does not have to present the woman doesn't have to be physically present. It can be done over the phone.

00:53:19--> 00:53:55

Believe it or not, I've done this. I was a witness to an international marriage in Medina, long story. But the girl was in one place. The boy was Northwest the one he was another place and the two witnesses were intimate enough. Okay. So we did a marriage contract over the phone. Okay, where we called up the body and the body obviously known about this and we and we got accepted the proposal from them, we listened to it, okay, so they don't have to physically be present in one place. They just have to be present somewhere. Okay, so that was a good point. They don't have to physically be present there. Well, it doesn't have to physically be there. If he's in Timbuktu. And he gives this

00:53:55--> 00:54:29

call up that, uh, it's fine. And the Two Witnesses agree, that's fine. Okay, but the point is, even then you should follow the Sunnah. And the Wali should propose to the groom, that I offer you, my daughter or my whatever it might be the relationship might be my sister, or whatever in marriage, do you accept? And then the groom says, Yes, I accept and the two witnesses have two witnesses. Okay, even if it's International, it should still be followed in the similar manner. Okay. Now, many scholars have said it has to be in Arabic. But this is not true in the curriculum that can be in any language, the language of the time, and you use any word, there's a long discussion in the books as

00:54:29--> 00:54:59

to what word can you use when it comes to marriage, okay. And the correct answer is that it goes back to your culture and customs. Okay? use words that are clear and unambiguous. This call is going to long discussion about what if the husband is the one he says, I give you my girl or you can own my daughter in words that are vague, okay. Just we don't have really good to discussion of that. We say that in marriage contracts, use clear phrases. I give you my daughter in marriage. Clear, no difference between what marriage means okay. The book says if they all have chapters about vague marriages, we're going to skip over that. I will say

00:55:00--> 00:55:22

We don't have to talk about inshallah, anytime a marriage takes place, be serious and use the proper words. One final note, there is no such thing as joking when it comes to marriage. Okay? The process of instead three things, whether you are serious or joking, they will still be in effect. Three things, whether you are serious or joking, they will still be in effect, marriage, divorce.

00:55:24--> 00:55:49

And taking a woman back in divorce, okay. Three things, whether you are serious or You are joking, it doesn't matter. islamically it will still take into effect. So this is a very winnable call it very important that we know a brother, father, my joke with a boy that Oh, you want my daughter and marriage? Just joke? And the boy says Yes, I do. And the Two Witnesses present, believe it or not, that is a marriage. Why happened with you? I

00:55:51--> 00:56:09

believe that is a valid marriage because the process of them said three things. They seriousness is serious, and they're joking, serious. Likewise, the voice by the way. On a more serious note, if a husband divorces his wife, jokingly This is a real divorce. This shows you the sanctity of the marriage. You Don't joke around when it comes to marriage. Okay.

00:56:12--> 00:56:15

Yeah, we are talking about that if you came in on the proper time, you would have known about this.

00:56:17--> 00:56:18

We talked about the five rules of

00:56:22--> 00:56:53

marriage divorce and taking back in divorce, meaning that when a man has divorced his wife, okay, there is something called an ADA, a waiting period, which we're going to talk about inshallah, in a few weeks, okay. In this waiting period, the man has the right to take the wife back, okay? If he jokes with her and says, okay, you're my wife again. Even if he's joking, she is his wife again. Okay, and this shows you all these three things are related to marriage. This shows you the sanctity, the wholeness of marriage, that you're not even allowed to joke about these things. And this is very severe for the brothers brothers. careful about using the word divorce with your wife.

00:56:54--> 00:57:25

Careful. If you say the word divorce with your wife, you know, you say that, oh, you know, our divorce and you're joking and you're laughing. It doesn't matter. That is a divorce. That is one divorce. Three strikes, you're out, you know that. In divorce, three strikes, you're out. If you joke about one of them, that leaves you only two. So be careful brothers. Allah has given you a responsibility that divorce is in the hands of the men, not the woman. We're going to talk about that. When it gets to divorce. Women don't have the right to divorce anyway. They don't have the right men, they have the right of divorce. So Allah has given you this responsibility. careful when

00:57:25--> 00:57:51

you use this word. Okay? If a man says even in a joking manner, or in an anger, that you're divorced, and the woman is divorced, okay, so you have to be very careful when it comes to this word of divorce. Okay. Now, one last point, before we break up for question and answer. We've talked about the five rules of nica, we've talked about the two other kind of mega, okay, everyone clear about these seven things. Okay. One final footnote, if you like, which is very important.

00:57:52--> 00:57:56

And actually, it would have been better if I mentioned this before we started but shall look a little more shall I?

00:57:58--> 00:58:26

Suppose, okay, the method we're talking we're talking about is a proposal upon a proposal, a proposal upon a proposal. What do I mean by that? I mean, a brother has proposed for a sister's hand, okay. is proposed to the Father that are you interested in me as a possible friend in law? Okay. Is it allowed for another person to propose to the same family or not? This is what we're talking about now. So is the side point which is related to what we're talking about? We're going to divide this into a few scenarios. Okay. We're going to Firstly,

00:58:27--> 00:58:48

before, before the proposal that the brother gave suppose for example, you have a friend, okay. And the friend tells you he's interested in proposing to that girl's family. He hasn't done so yet. Okay. Now, he hasn't actually done they're proposing. This is before the proposal in this case, you can go ahead and propose, okay, you can go ahead and propose

00:58:50--> 00:59:02

you can, you can because he hasn't actually done that proposing it. Or you might hear two other sources he might be interested, or he says he may be he's interested in this girl. Okay. It doesn't matter if he hasn't done the proposal yet. Go ahead and propose if you want. Okay.

00:59:05--> 00:59:33

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. It's a totally different topic. Totally different topic. Let's get back to this thing. inshallah we'll talk about that next Wednesday inshallah, just one day. So, in other words, basically, this category is before he proposes Fine, go ahead. second category he has proposed, but then he has changed his mind. Okay, so the man proposes, and then he says, Well, no, I don't want to marry this girl. Anyway, so he changes his mind. He rejects himself his own proposal, okay. So in this case, obviously, it is

00:59:35--> 00:59:39

allowed third category, which is probably the more common one the girl refuses.

00:59:41--> 00:59:59

The man proposes and the girl says, Are you out of your mind? No way. Okay. Clear flat rejection, in this case is allowed for the other persons who are most? Of course, yes, it looks to the other person who proposed. Okay, fourth category, the fourth one fourth category. Fourth scenario. The boy proposes and the girl agrees, but they haven't yet met.

01:00:01--> 01:00:16

The girl agrees and they've said a marriage didn't everything they haven't yet married. So, in this case also it is not allowed not also but it is not allowed to propose by email, it is not allowed to propose. Okay. The process of them said, No suitor, no suit, what is the suitor?

01:00:17--> 01:00:19

It's not a man wears a suit. It is

01:00:22--> 01:00:34

the one who proposes the male who is not the the male who wants to marry the girl, no suitor should propose on top of another suit his proposal? In other words, no Muslim should propose what his Muslim brother has already proposed to that family.

01:00:35--> 01:00:35

Okay.

01:00:39--> 01:00:45

There's a very good question, actually. It's a very good question. And there's a biggest killer of doctors, digital doctors. Okay.

01:00:47--> 01:01:03

How does that scenario take into place? Suppose you're interested in a Christian girl. Okay. And a Christian has proposed to that girl. Can you propose on top of the Christians proposal? There's the biggest turnoff because the president said no Muslim should propose on top of another Muslims proposal, ie, Christians can you propose on top of them or not?

01:01:07--> 01:01:20

is a different question. That's a different question. Which, like I said last week, don't think of Christian girls. Okay. For many reasons, don't think of non Muslim. Okay. Yeah, let's do we started finishing up. So this is a fourth scenario. Okay. The fifth scenario is that

01:01:22--> 01:01:30

the brother has proposed to the sister, okay. The male has proposed the man has proposed to the girl. Now the second man has taken permission from the first man.

01:01:31--> 01:01:37

Okay, the second man has gone up and said can I can? You've also proposed Can I also propose? Okay.

01:01:38--> 01:02:12

It does sound funny. No one's gonna say yes. But the PA system said, No man should propose on top of another man's proposal until he leaves or he gives him permission. Okay, until he leaves or he gives him permission. So if you know that, for example, I have met has proposed to Fatima. You want to also propose the property but they haven't agreed to the marriage. She's still thinking about it. You have to go to admin. Right? You should not have to excuse me, you should go to admin and get his get his permission. Do you allow me to propose also, and then she will choose which of the two she wants? Okay. So this is how it which scenario now?

01:02:14--> 01:02:29

fifth one. So by Angela, once he allows him to propose he can propose the sixth scenario, which is the most common one. And the biggest difference also, is that one he has proposed. And she is still thinking about it, and you don't get his permission.

01:02:30--> 01:03:05

Okay, this is the one where there is the quote unquote, juicy stlr. Okay, when he has proposed, okay. When the girl has proposed, the boy has proposed to the girl's family. Okay. He has proposed to the girl's family. They have not given him a yes or no. And neither has he withdraws his proposal, nor has he given permission to anyone else, you haven't got an asset. Okay. So this is a common scenario you found out you were interested in marrying your sister, you found out another person proposed, and they're still deciding, do you quickly want to propose in this interim time? They haven't decided, yes, we're going to get married. This is a marriage did and everything.

01:03:05--> 01:03:28

They're still thinking about the proposal. Okay. So this is where there's an extra many of them. I think the humble is they say no. And some of your intimate they say yes, it is. Okay. And this goes back to the rich dad. And I don't want to give a final verdict because both opinions have good evidence to them, you know, they're most opinions the same? How do they use the same ideas? And the interpreted both ways? Okay.

01:03:30--> 01:03:36

The habit that I use is that no, no, no person should propose on top of another proposal. Okay.

01:03:40--> 01:04:09

Exactly. That's the point. It doesn't say what the chances are not. So then most of the times they say doesn't matter whether she answered or not. The point is that when you do so you're going to cause ill feelings between the two men? How would you like to propose to a girl and then as soon as someone comes up, they also propose that isn't going to cause some hatred towards then some enmity towards that. Okay, so this is so some elements that go back to this reason, this is a very good point that the brother of ours has, he doesn't mention anything other than they say what is meant by this hadith is that when they have agreed to become married,

01:04:10--> 01:04:35

okay, what we call them in in America engagement now realize there's no such thing as an Islamic engagement in the sense that it doesn't allow things that weren't allowed before. Okay, there's no such thing as an engagement Islam. There's only one thing that changes and that is that no other person can propose for that girl. Okay, so some minimize the use of Halle for the quote unquote, engagement, but they say if they're still thinking about it is allowed to propose. Okay, now there's the biggest the last year and

01:04:37--> 01:04:42

a lower than perhaps you could say that it is allowed for him to propose because of the fact that

01:04:44--> 01:05:00

the girl should know who's interested in her. Okay. The girl should look at her options that suppose the girl is also interested in Ahmed but he didn't propose and Mohammed proposed, okay, she doesn't know Adam is interested in him in her. Okay. So when Ahmed finds out that Mohammed from

01:05:00--> 01:05:28

First, perhaps you could say from this reason that it's better that he does propose so that the girl knows who is interested in her, and then she can make the best choice available. Okay. But I do say that this is a, you know, big controversial issue that we don't know how to set up over this. And they have good evidences, and I'll give you a way out. No one says you have to ask whether someone's proposed or not, just go ahead and propose. In other words, what you don't know won't hurt you. Okay. There's a slight way out, but it's definitely a way out. Okay.

01:05:31--> 01:05:33

What about for your daughter someone proposes?

01:05:36--> 01:05:45

No, no, no, no, this is a different scenario. No, this is a different situation. We're talking about from the suitors perspective. As for the father's perspective, if he gets another proposal, it's up to him. You can say yes or no.

01:05:47--> 01:06:16

No, you don't have to ask if there's another proposal. Because you don't know it's not your requirement to go and ask everyone in the world did they? Did they propose to the sister and I also realize proposals in general are secret because people are humiliated when they say no to? Okay? No, this is a fact of life. Both brothers and sisters. Okay. In general proposals are done very secretively, you will just tell your father or your mother to call up and if they accept, then you will make a public. Okay. So many people won't even tell you that they propose because they're scared of an embarrassment. If you happen to know that this headache applies to you, if you don't

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know, Yanni, you don't have to. If you're interested in marrying a girl, you don't have to go and ask every guy in the community. How do you propose to there's really no, no, no one has no one has said this. Okay.

01:06:27--> 01:06:51

Yeah, I mean, what you don't know won't hurt you is Islamic Islamic rules. Who I mean, if you don't know it, you don't have to go around asking me about this specifically about this matter. Okay. Now, if you do out of fear of Elias, of course, it is better. No doubt. If you do, and you're doing so out of water and aquatics is better. But if you don't and you don't know anyone has proposed to go ahead and propose, okay. It's not requirement of you to ask every single bachelor in the community. Have you reported as governor? Neither is it feasible? Okay.

01:06:53--> 01:07:00

No, it's related to the fact how do you understand this? How do you understand this? How do you as applying to after they have agreed or before they have agreed? Okay.

01:07:01--> 01:07:08

Yeah, if the sisters have questions, they can write them down, no, and pass them on. Okay, now, now, before we conclude just a summary of what we did.

01:07:09--> 01:07:13

Somebody what we done, we, first of all, talking about the five rules of nicaea. The first one was,

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specify both male and female, we have to know who we're talking about common sense. second one was, they're both allowed to get married again, common sense. And we talked about this in detail. last topic. Third one was, there must be a wedding present. Now, who is the marriage contract between them?

01:07:30--> 01:07:31

The marriage contract is between who's in

01:07:33--> 01:08:08

the wedding and the groom? Exactly. See, this is the point goes back to our two tokens, okay. The marriage contract, unlike in America, it's not between the man and the girl. It is not between the bride and the groom. It is between the groom and the wedding. The marriage contract is an actual contract between the groom and the wedding. And that is why we need to have a wedding present. Okay, even if it's a divorce, even if it's a widowed woman, who is going to be the age and the acceptance and the proposal, the man and the man, the Wali and the group. Okay, so, hold on, let's get to the fourth. The fourth condition is that

01:08:09--> 01:08:45

is that both the groom and the bride must agree to the marriage. Okay. And we said that the correct opinion is that even if she is a virgin, she must still be consenting to the marriage, it is not allowed for the father to force her to get married, despite the fact that the majority of scholars didn't say that it is allowed. But we say that the Hadith are clear that the father must act the virgin girl and her silence is her consent. Whereas for the divorcee for silence is not her consent for assignments means nothing, just like in any other contracts, but specifically for the virgin girl is to remain silent. This is taken as a yes. Okay. And there's something I find, unfortunately,

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culture has dictated that the Two Witnesses must come and listen to the one you know, the Two Witnesses never, excuse me, the girl, the Two Witnesses never have to see the girl. The two witnesses never have to see the girl or hear anything from her, because the marriage contract is between the wealthy and the group. So the Two Witnesses after he presents with these two, they don't have to go into the girls side. And, you know, this is something I find, unfortunately, because of ignorance. No, the marriage contract is not between the girl and the boy in the first place. And then in the marriage contract, even I think many Islamic institutions or organizations, American

01:09:16--> 01:09:18

contracts, the signature is between

01:09:19--> 01:09:55

the girl and the boy, this is not true, the proper, the actual contract should be between the wealthy and the group. Okay? There's something that unfortunately, is due to our influence of Western and the values they have here, but islamically No, is between the wedding and the growth. So the fourth is that there must be consent and the fifth that there must be two pious witnesses there. Then we talked about the two Lukens of marriage and this is the proposal and the acceptance, that proposal is given from whom by whom the wedding and the acceptance is from the group so inshallah when we get married for the first time, or maybe even a second third time, let's try to do the

01:09:55--> 01:09:59

sooner is that the groom? Doesn't propose act in the actual nigga

01:10:00--> 01:10:12

Okay, the groom is the one that accepts the actual nigga ceremony. Okay, it is the Wali that proposes the word he says I offer you my daughter in marriage. Do you accept this? And the groom says yes, I accept. Okay, these are the two rules.

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Okay, those brothers that don't have poodle should go to Luna and sisters likewise. And then we also concluded with the fact that we should not propose on top of another proposal, because if I go the process that I'm prohibited, okay,