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Fiqh of Marriage 1

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Yasir Qadhi

Channel: Yasir Qadhi

Series:

Episode Notes

Shaykh Yasir Qadhi discusses the fiqh of marriage while explicitly elucidating the conditions and procedure of marriage.

Marriage is Mustahab and is a Sunnah. It becomes obligatory when he fears he might commit Haram.

Conditions and procedure of marriage:

  • Bride and groom must be specified.
  • Both the bride and the groom should give consent for marriage.
  • The Wali should approve of the marriage.
  • Two witnesses should be present during the marriage contract.
  • There be no actual preventive factors.

What nullifies a marriage?

  • Temporary marriage.
  • Marriage where one substitutes partners.
  • Marrying to make first wife Halal for the husband.

Who is the Wali and what is his status in a marriage? What is Mahr? Shaykh Yasir Qadhi answers.

 

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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I would like to welcome you today the 24th of October well 1420 of the year hedgerows corresponding to the seventh of July 1999. We are starting our second series of ships the second series of fifth in the first series which we did in the last month the intensive course of natural talk, we covered the field of bajada purification types of water Jana is Allah will also also we did Zakah and fasting song, and we skipped over Hajj and we said that anyone who wants to go for Hajj inshallah read the books about them, we skipped over Hajj. Now moving on to another topic. So in reality, this is like a session two, and unfortunately not everyone sitting here could attend session one, but in

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reality, people should not be jumping into session two until they know session one meaning that joke of marriage and divorce and inheritance is not as important as the feel of Pearl Harbor and Hulu and salah and Sam okay, but in sha Allah, the cassettes are available, so we can take use and benefit of those cassettes. inshallah, the point is, we skipped over a lot of chapters of crypto,

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because many of you remember when they did their books, or fifth, they started off with the five pillars, meaning the four pillars of fifth which would be the seller, and then the deca and then the fasting and then the hedge after hedge many of them wanted she had to show you how important she had was the books that fit we're talking about the order that they're going, then they go into the book of jihad, and they talk about how you do jihad. Why do you do jihad? Who do you fight? What are the conditions for fighting? How do you divide the spoils of war, the booty, the Islamic State versus the non Islamic State? They talk about Jihad because surely it's like a sixth pillar if you like,

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after that they move on to usually economics, okay, they move on to Islamic economics, what types of trade and transactions are allowed? And what types are prohibited? And then they move on in general to marriage? Why is this? Why did they move on to marriage after that, because marriage is in fact a type of trade or a type of transaction. The marriage contract is a business contract. So they discuss it after they discuss business, okay, the marriage contract is a type of business contract, which is very different. So therefore, they have a separate section for it. But we discussed it after marriage because it is a type of business contract. Okay, so because of that, the book

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specifically does talk about marriage after these types of chapters. Now, before we jump into the actual gift of marriage, we should step back and ponder over this religion of Islam of ours, that Subhanallah everything of our life has been told Allah subhanho wa Taala has given us a whole way of life. Not only has he told us, for example, what type of foods to eat, and how to slaughter the animals that we get the food from, and what is healthy for us to eat what is healthy for us to eat? Not only has he told us about calories, he has also told us how to get rid of that food, meaning the ethics of the restaurant, okay, not only as they told us how to live our life and how to live our

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How to even sleep, he has also told us how to conduct our marriage ceremonies whom we can marry whom we cannot marry, okay, how we should get married, for what reasons we should get married. All of these things. It shows us the mercy of Islam, that this religion is a whole and complete way of life. So for example, in the session when we talked about the various types of menstrual blood that exists, okay, and this is something that she she has told us that women have given many types of bloods something that most non Muslim they wouldn't even think about, that your Creator will tell you about this stuff. And yet our city is so perfect, it is so complete, that we discuss the finest

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and the most intricate details of daily life. And included in that is the topic of marriage. And obviously marriage or the concept of marriage is one of the great blessings of Islam, that we differ from the Christians and specifically the Roman Catholics in that Allah subhanho wa Taala has said that it is against his religion, against his religion to choose monasticism. What is monasticism? When you give up marriage, okay, whereas the Roman Catholics have made it

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laboratory upon their clergy, upon the priesthood, to avoid and refrain from marriage and because of that, we find that if you like them amongst the worst perverse if you like of our society, or the priest, or the priest of these churches because they have been deprived from something that Allah has created them with, it is against human nature to fight against your your desires and your instinct. So Islam has channeled everything, food is allowed in this matter, marriage is allowed in this manner, okay. Every nature every instinct that we have, there are certain ways to channel it in a halal way. And there are certain ways to challenge the Haram way. So Allah has dictated for us and

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told us the halal way and he has told us that this is a pure that this is a pure and

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like a lesson that says in the Koran that Allah has allowed for them or the processing of allows for them everything that is pure, and prohibits from them everything that is impure, or evil. So this shows us then that this is a part of the completeness of this religion of Islam. Likewise, marriage in and of itself is one of the miracles and signs of Allah subhanho wa Taala because Allah does not hold on women, it he amongst his miracles, amongst the miracles of Allah is that he has created for you spouses He has created for you spouses, so that you can draw with him in peace. And it is he was the one that has caused mercy and love to enter into your hearts for each other. There's a verse in

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the Quran so to room that woman is he and Haleakala come in and Fujifilm as Raja from amongst his miracles and signs is that he has created for you, me spouses. And really, a person should sit and think that look at these miracles of all that we take for granted. Imagine had the human race being created as a one sex race, okay. Imagine what how difficult life would have been. This is why a lot started when He created us and he immediately created Hawa for others, to live in peace with to dwell in peace with her that each pair of this you will have this that it complements each other. Without each one of them the one is imperfect. Together they form a couple and they form a complete

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pair. This is why Allah says little school in a way so that you can live in peace and harmony with her, you will find comfort in her likewise the wife will find comfort and peace in the husband. Okay. And in another verse, Allah, Allah says that

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your wives are like your clothes. That allowance method has created your wife, they are as if they are your clothes. Okay, who Nellie basilicum want to leave us alone, that you meaning the men or excuse me, you mean the women, I just you are close to your husband, and your husbands are as if they are close unto you. This means that just like we need cloth without cloth, we feel naked. Without our clothes we feel as if we're not complete. Likewise, we need spouses we need husbands and wives to feel complete. Just like our closet protects us from other things. They protect us from the sun from the cold. It protects us from enemies even like the armor. Likewise, our spouses, they

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protect us, they protect us from Xena to protect us from going ways that we should not go Okay, just like we find comfort in our clothes. Likewise we find comfort in our spouses. So in this analogy in this beautiful example Allah subhanaw taala is comparing spouses, yes, compared wives and husbands to close that they are an essential part of you. You can't have a complete life without them. Okay? A man needs a woman and a woman needs a man. This is the fundamental human nature. No man will be complete without a woman and no woman will complete without a man. And they need each other to find comfort, and love and peace and tranquility. And without them no person can live a complete or a

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full life. So this is one of the miracles and the blessings of Allah that Allah says, amongst the signs is the creation of the heavens of the earth and he says I'm most excited the creation of wise. This is a major miracle of Allah subhanho wa Taala that he has blessed mankind that he has made them into two species into two sexes, male and female. And each of the two they need each other to live like the Prophet. So for them said that a new social political results that men or women they are like the twin brothers or the twin half brothers with the twin halves of men, women and men they are like two and a half with each other. They need each other to be complete with one another. Okay, so

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this is of the miracles of Allah subhana wa tada and of His mercy and His blessings. Likewise, Allah says in the same first and he has placed in your hearts, love and mercy for one another. Okay. So love is different from mercy and mercy is different from love. You can be merciful to many people, but you don't necessarily love them. You can love many people but you don't necessarily have mercy towards them. But Allah says, concerning wives and husbands, he says Allah is the one that has placed love and mercy in your hearts for each other. So this is another miracle from Allah. Not only has he created spouses for us not only has given us different sexes, men and women, but also it is

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He Who is the one that has caused this feeling that we have towards our fellow spouses, this feeling of love and mercy and comfort and protection. It comes from Allah subhana wa Tada. So we should thank Allah subhanho wa Taala that he has created for us. Different spouses, different meats, men and women for each other. We should thank Allah subhanaw taala after this that he has been laid down laws about how we should interact

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with one another, whether we are married or not married, we should think a lot faster than even the smallest detail of our lives. The most intimate part of our lives, Allah Subhana, WA tada has laid down for us a Sharia, he has told us that which is good for us in this life and the after. And he has prohibited us from those things which are going to harm us in this life, and the accident. So really, very few of us really sit down and think about the creation as it is. And this is, by the way, as a side point, one of the ways to increase your image and one of the ways to increase your image is just to think about the creation. Think about the creation, about the heavens and the

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earth, and the sun, and the stars and the moon, just sit and look around you look at the trees, Allah says that the people that

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they truly believe they have difficulty they think about the signs, they think about the signs and they say about Panama Costa has adultery or gold, you do not create all of this for no reason. So one of the ways to increase our demand is just to sit down and just think, look at the creation look at how perfect we are. Look at our project our environment is the air that we breathe, okay. And you know the trees that are here and the sun and the moon and the atmosphere and the skies and the planet everything is in such perfect order. Likewise, another thing that is in perfect order is men and women that they are complementary they are they form pairs with one another. So this is like an

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introduction to keep up with the calf that why are we talking about this? Before we jump into the actual flip of it, we should also think and ponder over the blessings that Allah has given us and imagine how life would have been had we just been one sex all of us, we would not have had spouses. Okay, we would not have had spouses to find comfort and tranquility and imagine how difficult life would have been. Okay, so this is of the blessings and the miracles of Allah subhanho wa Taala upon us. So therefore, we should thank Allah by worshiping Him and by studying these laws so that we can implement these types of situations that we were talking about, was that we jumped to the first

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topic of Kitab, Nika, and that is

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what is the status of Nika? What is the status of nica? What do you mean by status?

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Is it followed? Or is it sooner? Or is it moku? Or is it how long Everyone knows that everything still can be divided into five categories? For those of you that are new, we'll quickly go over them again. First one is from which means obligatory, right? Something that you are commanded to do and sinful for leaving, second one is wish to have or sooner which means if you do it, you are rewarded, but if you leave it, then you have no sin upon you. Okay? Third one is mobile, mobile, which means if you do it, or you don't, no see no reward, okay? Nothing just neutral to the religion. Okay, an example that has given us for example, wearing special club color clothes, if I wore Brown versus

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green, it's Mumbai, I don't get a reward, in particular for winning any particular color. Okay, the fourth category is mcru. Which means if you do it, if you do it, you're not sinful. But if you leave it, you are rewarded. If you do it, you're not sinful, you don't get a sin. But if you leave it then you will be rewarded by Allah subhanho wa Taala. Okay, and the fifth category, the final category is how long which means if you do it, then you are sinful, and you are obligated to leave doing that. Okay, so these are the five categories that every single action that we do can be placed in one of these five categories. There is not a single thing that we do, or we can think of doing except that

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it is placed among these five categories. So what category does makeup come under? Who knows?

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Sort of the Mashallah. So it's obligatory every single person to get married, and if he doesn't, he's sinful.

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What's your proof that you paid for it? No, it's a good it's a good thing we should discuss. What's your proof distasteful?

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What proof do you have in the Quran? So

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everyone should know this type of record any verse pertaining to marriage.

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Allah says, For example, what unfaithful Am I married a single woman amongst you? This is the command. Okay, this is the command, where do we send the pseudo classes that we took whenever Allah sends a command or is referred to as a command? What does that imply? obligation for? So the brother actually, you know, he has a point. Okay, even though he doesn't know where he's coming from, but still, he has a point. And that's why some of the, like, the Bahia for example, the one of the groups that just they said that it is obligatory upon every single Muslim to get married. And if he doesn't, he's sinful. Some of the animals they did say this. Okay. They did say this. However, the

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stronger opinion and this is the opinion of the majority of the scholars of the past and present is that it is much too hard to get married. It is sooner to get married, it is not hard to get married. Okay. What is the proof for this? Because we just said that one of the verses and even the process that he told What did he tell the young men?

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He said, Who amongst you whoever amongst you can get to get married can afford to get married? Let him get married? Yeah, I'm not sure a Shadow Minister common. Affiliate is the wish whoever amongst you can afford to get married then let him get married. So this is a command. Okay. So how do we then understand these commands? We're saying it's only Mr. Howard.

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Do we avert these commandments from being obligatory to being surrender? Can anyone think of some reason? You understand the question? We're saying? Does anyone understand the question? We find some commands in the Quran as soon as they command the Muslims to get married, and yet we're saying that it's not obligatory. It's only was to have a

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very good points very good points that there were some Sahaba that that were not married at the pockets time and you didn't condemn them. He didn't get angry at them. He didn't come out and you Oh, you personally not to get married? This is a good point. Okay. Secondly, another point.

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No, we're getting there to the one that said you give me something there. Okay.

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Yeah, exactly. We're going to talk about this. How do you know but that's not directly relevant. There are more important right now discussing the evidences to prove that marriage is sooner and not follow. Okay. The second evidence is Surah Nisa, verse three. Alessandra says, Thank you for now for that question. Camilla Nisa, marry, women that you want to marry that are pleasing to you. Okay, marry women that are pleasing to you. Okay. Now, this is the first point here How can anyone show that this isn't and not fall to get away from this right? Because almost commanding married.

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But this verse, I say, is a proof that as soon as

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there's a condition, what is the condition? If you find a woman pleasing to you, meaning if you don't find any women pleasing to, if you're not attracted to women, or you're not attracted to the woman of you know, your computer or something, you don't have to get married? You understand what I'm kidding. Allah says in the Quran, marry those women that are pleasing to you, that you like, basically, okay, married women that you want to get married to that you are that you find attractive, meaning if you don't find women attractive,

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don't marry, okay, you don't have to get married, if you don't find women attractive, okay? You don't have to get married. Okay? Then Allah goes on in the verse and he says, marry women of your choice to three or four. Okay? He says, marry women of your choice to three or four. Now, by law, by law, it's not mandatory for you to marry two women. Okay, no one ever has said that you have to marry two women. It's not obligatory on you. So this first then cannot mean obligation, because a lot of saying marry women of your choice to three or four. But by agema in it by unanimous consensus, no arguments ever said that a man has to get married to two women. Of course, it's good.

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If he does. I'm not saying it's not. But I'm saying it's not obligatory. No man has ever said that it's obligatory to get married two to two wives. Okay, so this verse 10 shows you that it's not obligatory it is sooner, okay. And then our says

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scientists have allotted, if you feel that you're not going to be able to do justly between them, then marry one woman, okay, or take a slave row, take a slave group. So Allah is giving another choice, even if you can't marry take a slave. Okay, so all of these choices, all of these things, it shows you that the proper status of marriage in Islam is that it is it is what, by the way, I like interactive classes. So every time I stopped and look at you guys means respond, it is wish to have, okay, it is strongly, strongly, strongly encouraged, but it is not obligatory upon every single Muslim to get married. Okay, now we get to the Hadith that the brother mentioned, which is a very

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interesting, heavy, three men came to the Prophet. So some are the actually the kids of the prophets, wives, okay. And one of them said, they asked Ayesha to describe the process. You know,

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religious worship, okay. So once you described it, it is as if they considered it very small. They, they said, This isn't good enough, you know, so one of them said, As for me, I'm going to fast every single day. Because the process was not faster really would fast alternate days, once in a while, you probably wouldn't practice every day. And it is really against the sooner to pass every single day. So one method I will fast every single day, never break my fast. The second month that I'm going to pray all night, never sleep at night. And this is also against the pseudonym because the process of Muslim at night, the third man and this is the point of the Hadith. He said, As for me, I

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will leave marrying women. Okay, so now the brothers said no, in the process, and I'm hurt about this. Didn't you get angry at these three men? The answer is Yes, he did. But why did he get angry as a third man? Because he left marriage thinking that he will get more reward if he left marriage. In other words, he made it a religious act to the marriage. It wasn't a worldly choice of his. Okay, it wasn't something that well I don't really feel like I need to get married and it's no big deal. He actually thought that he would come closer to Allah by leaving marriage and this is not true. This is a bit of luck or innovation. Okay? This is an innovation. Allah says in the Koran concerning

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the Christians, that the monasticism that they invented, we didn't tell them to do it. The monasticism meaning leaving marriage for the sake of religion.

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The monasticism that they invented, we didn't tell them to do it. They were they weren't that they invented this concept. Okay, it was actually Paul,

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the real founder of Christianity. It was actually Paul, the real founder of Christianity who said to told the disciples and Christians not to get married. So he invented this concept. It wasn't from the religion of Allah. In fact, Allah says in the Quran, that the messengers we have made them

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We have caused him to get married and have children, which is why it was real. The messengers the prophets, Allah says we have caused them to have wives and children. It is the part of the center of all of the prophets to be married in general, except for Isa we know that he did not get married, but in general is the Sunnah of most of the prophets to get married. Ibrahim alayhis, salaam, Adam, of course, if Adam didn't get married, we wouldn't be here. You know, Adam and Adam, no holidays, no, Ibrahim Musa, the prophet mechanism, majority of the prophets of Allah were married. So this shows you then that to give up, what is the point of this headache that the brother mentioned, it's

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a good idea. But it doesn't show you that it's sinful not to be married, it shows you that is sinful to think that it's religion not to be married, you understand that? It is done that to give up marriage thinking that you're going to come closer to Allah, this is a bigger organization, okay, rather the true way to worship Allah subhanaw. taala is through the worship of him in all manners and aspects. And that includes getting married, that includes getting married, okay, so this has, it doesn't apply to this, the thing that we were saying, rather than marriage is a part of our idea. And it is part of the sooner to do in fact, the process and said that omnigraffle in suniti, that

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the Nika is from my son getting married as part of my sooner, so whoever leaves my sooner is not for me. So if you leave the sooner thinking that it's better not to get married, he is not from the province of residence, he is not from the home of the prophets of Allah. Okay. However, if someone leaves, you know, for the reason that I'm too poor to get married for, I don't really need to get married, then he is not sinful for doing so. Now we say this is a general rule. However, in certain cases, it could become solved. And in certain cases, it could become common. In certain cases, marriage could become obligatory, and in certain cases, it could become Haram, don't give me an

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example when it might become obligatory to get married.

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If you feel that you might fall into fornication, you might fall into a zener. Okay, and you can afford to get married. Okay, if you can afford to get married, you have the money and the means to get married.

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And you feel or you strongly fear that you might need to have an act, if you don't get married, then it becomes obligatory on you to be to get married. Okay, when it comes to liberatory in that case to be to become to get married, can someone give me an example it might become How long?

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No, we're not talking about that we're talking about

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don't jump to that step. Now.

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For example, if a person knows that he is a very violent nature, and he will not treat his wife properly, okay? And he doesn't need to get married, he's not fearful of falling into fornication. Okay? In this case, it becomes harder for him to get married. If he feels that he's not going to treat his wife properly. Okay, he doesn't have the proper clock or the data or you know, he has a valid temper. And on top of that he doesn't need to get married. He doesn't he doesn't have a desire for a woman or anything. Okay, in this case, it becomes apparent from the camera he has no reason Forgive me. But we're saying these are obviously the exceptional situations the general rule of

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thumb is that it is sooner it is Mr. habit is strongly strongly encouraged to get married and this is proven by so many a hadith and verses which I'm sure every one of you has memorized sitting here. Okay. Can you quote me once Heidi once it is about the benefits of getting married?

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And you have you thought about marriage? Yeah, the President said Oh, old men amongst you any the young men amongst you, whoever amongst you can afford to get married then let him get married. And whoever cannot then then what? Then he should fast. He should fast okay. So to control his desires, because the first thing is like, a shield, okay. Like was the president said Whoever gets married and he has perfected half of his face, then let him feel alone with regarding with regards to the other half. Okay, whoever gets married and he has perfected half of his face, meaning that half of his face is safe from fitness. Okay, because the biggest fitna that men have is the fitna of women.

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Okay, because the person said I have not left you a bigger fitness in the fitness of women. So fear Allah and fear woman. He said this what Allah has done is a few Allah have Taqwa of Allah and also fear women that they will lead you astray from the from the straight path. So therefore, when someone gets married, it is as if he has guaranteed it doesn't get taken out.

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An insurance policy if you'd like one half of his Deen, that half of his deed is safe. That's a really bad example, insurance does not allow you to think he has taken like a guarantee on half of his face. Okay, that half of his face, his shoulder is secure from temptations and desires and everyone knows this from those that are married before and after scenario, okay. Before marriage, the fitness that exists on much more and more severe than after marriage. Okay. So this is why the process I'm strongly encouraged.

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The young men in particular to get married, he told them in fact that marriage is a factor or a thing that lowers your gaze, and it protects your chastity. He said marriage is something that lowers your gave a hot bullet buffer, it lowers your gaze, you don't look at women that are not allowed to for you to look at and it also protects your chastity. So for all of these reasons that we say that it is strongly strongly encouraged for a person to get married, and whoever leaves marriage, thinking that this is better and more pleasing to Allah than he is the innovator and he is the one who's the process that I'm sad about. I have nothing to do with him. Okay, he has left my

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own meaning that he is not

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have the perfect Muslims and you have integrated something into this religion of Islam. Okay linssen edition and the government serenity from a lovely balance una de la semi. Okay that whoever leaves my sooner is not of me. Okay, now.

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First thing we're going to talk about are what are the desired characteristics that a person should look for in his spouse, and then we're going to move on to who you can choose to be your spouse. Okay, so those are the two topics we'll discuss today. And inshallah that should be sufficient. Just as an introductory lesson for today. The first topic are, what are those aspects that a person should look at in his spouse, that are desirable to look after the process I'm encouraged to look at. And the second thing that we're going to look at or talk about today are who, who is allowed to get married to see better way to phrase that,

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to whom it is allowed to get married, okay, who you can get married to and who you cannot get married to. Okay. Now, obviously, the process that I'm said, Everyone knows that a woman is married for four qualities. A woman is married for four qualities, okay? In other words, whenever a man proposes to a woman, he's doing it for one of these four reasons. Okay. The first one, he said, The Dini hack for religion, the gemelli? her, her beauty, okay? There has to be her her nobility, her status. And you just means like her lineage. She's a famous tribe or famous thing. And the fourth thing was because of her money, okay, so the processor said, What did you say choose the one with

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religion, choose the one with Deen, then you will be successful. So the person said a woman is married for four reasons. And no man proposes to a woman except that one of these four reasons is there, okay? That he wants to propose because of a religion, or because of her beauty. Or because of her lineage, she's the daughter of a multimillionaire or something or, you know, fairly famous tribe or something. Obviously, lineage in those days was a very big factor in our times, it's not that big of a factor, but it still exists. Okay? racism, for example, still exists, you know, that my daughter is not going to get married, except in this ethnicity. Okay, this is goes back to this

00:26:56--> 00:27:21

track or to this family, whatever. So lineage, and the fourth factor was money, the Sorento might be rich, or the she might be rich, or he might be rich. Likewise, when we're talking about women, it automatically applies women, you know, look at men in the same light for these four reasons. So the process is choose the one that is religious, and you will be successful. Okay. Now, does this mean that we don't look at the other characteristics and we only look at religion?

00:27:22--> 00:27:45

No, obviously not. Obviously not. It means we look at religion. First and foremost, we look at religion first and foremost, but we also take into account other factors. Okay. Obviously, for example, Beauty. Beauty is a very important factor both for the man and the woman, the woman should find someone that she finds handsome and attractive, likewise demand, why is this? Why is this because the whole point of marriage is to protect you from

00:27:46--> 00:28:14

from doing things. So if you don't find your attract your spouse to be attractive, then you will not fulfill that goal of yours. So both the men and the woman after they have made sure that the person is religious right, and obviously those that are more religious, you look at people that are also likewise religious. Okay, if you're interested, for example, in studying Islam, you should also find someone that's interested in studying Islam, don't just look at the one who prays five times a day and you know, give him the guy, the bare minimum Muslim. So the more a person is religious, likewise, the more he should look at in religion, okay.

00:28:16--> 00:28:49

That's a different topic in love itself, okay. But the point is, even it's okay even in the marriage situation you mentioned you should look at this, the spouse, okay, we're gonna get to what you're allowed to look at and what you can do before marriage, to get to the point is you must find out about your religion. Okay? After religion, obviously, another factor is beauty. Another factor also is her lineage and the sense that she has a noble what you would call it her lineage in the sense that you don't just marry someone that does not have equivalent status to you. We're going to get to that in a little while, maybe in a few weeks time, okay? Likewise, you look at money I mean, a woman

00:28:49--> 00:28:55

when she looks at a man Okay, she's absolutely allowed to look at his financial status too. But the point is the most important thing should be what

00:28:56--> 00:29:28

religion and unfortunately what has occurred is we have reversed the whole rules around that we look at money first and religion last okay. But the point is fine, look at money. That's not that's not wrong for you to ask about the money. It's not wrong for you to get a picture and look at the the person looking at you know, whether he or she is attractive and beautiful. Look at her family status, but the primary thing should always be religion. And remember, he has a very interesting statement. He said, when a man wants to get married to a woman, right? He should first ask about her beauty. He should first ask about your beauty. Yes, I didn't say mistake pro beauty. Okay. Why is

00:29:28--> 00:29:54

this because if she's not beautiful, then she'll he'll say no based on her beauty, but if she is beautiful, when she asked about her religion, and if her religion is satisfactory, then he marries her. In other words, if you did it the other way around, if you said asked about your religion, and she and it was told to you she's a very good, you know, Muslim and she practices and fears a lot everything. Then you asked about a beauty. And then she said, it was told you that she's not beautiful. You would reject her even though she's religious. Okay.

00:29:55--> 00:29:59

So, a mama has said when a person proposes to a woman, he should

00:30:00--> 00:30:28

First asked about her beauty. Okay? Because if it is said to him that she's not beautiful, then he will reject automatically, if it is said to him that she is beautiful. The next thing should ask about is religion. And if the her religion is satisfactory, he'll accept her. Otherwise he won't. The point is, if you say no, if you say No, it won't be because of her religion, it will be because of her beauty. And that's not good. You say no, because of a religion. So you first asked about the beauty. So suppose you did the other ones, you asked about your religion. If it said to you that she's a very good Muslim, then you asked about the beauty and it's that she's not that attractive,

00:30:28--> 00:31:01

then you say no, based on what? The beauty and not religion, so this is not good. So my mom had he had a he had a way out, if you like, you know, is that you first art about beauty. And because every every man is a human nature, he's not going to marry someone except that she is attracted to them and vice versa. No woman is going to get married to a man except that that man is attracted to that to her, okay. And by the way, as a footnote, this is one of the blessings and mercy of Allah subhana wa tada that he has made beauty relative, he has made beauty relative, every man is going to find certain woman attractive that other men won't and vice versa. This is at the mercy of Allah subhanaw

00:31:01--> 00:31:20

taala that every single man find certain woman attractive that other men don't. And likewise with women, and this is of the mercy of Allah, that's why everyone has a leg gets married, otherwise, there would be a problem. You know, it's never the mercy of Allah, Samantha that he has made beauty relative, every man and every woman has his or her own tastes and options, okay, or desires, excuse me, not options.

00:31:21--> 00:31:56

But the point is like Mr. McKenna said, Don't refuse someone based on religion. It's not, you know, there is a way out, there's a way of doing it, but don't do it based on religion, religion is of utmost importance, okay, religion is of the utmost importance after this, all of these other factors are important, but not as important as religion. Okay. Likewise, another. So these are four things that were mentioned in this idea. Okay. Firstly, religion and this is obviously in a category of its own, okay, I mean, that must be there. The other three things are what status beauty and money okay, there are other other financial other other attributes to that should be found in your spouse's.

00:31:56--> 00:32:30

Okay. And once I did the process that unki fully valued, and what would marry the woman that give birth to many children and women that are very loving? Okay, marry women that are very loving, they're very, you know, emotional, they love their husbands a lot. And Mary woman's had to give birth to a lot of children. Because the prophets have said, I will compete with other nations on the Day of Judgment regarding my woman the size of the of the process. So yet another characteristic, these are four characters that we talked about. The most important, like we said is religion, obviously, always, but we say other characteristics that we should look at these other three things.

00:32:30--> 00:32:31

Another thing is that she be

00:32:33--> 00:33:08

any very loving, okay? And also many children's, does this mean that you marry a woman that has a lot of children? No, it means you look at her family, you look at your family, does your family have a lot of children to them? And if they do, then this is another desirable trait that you should look at. Okay. Obviously, don't look at her in particular that she does she have children, because the seventh thing, okay, the seventh thing is you get married to a virgin. Okay, you should get married to a virgin. This is the profit or loss and advice to the man that he said. He said to Java, for example, why did you Why did you not marry a virgin? Why did you not marry a virgin, you will be

00:33:08--> 00:33:32

able to play with her and she would play with you. The reason for this is that virgin obviously they are going to be more attracted to their husbands and they're going to be more loving to their husbands. And the husbands will love them more in return. Okay, like Ayesha herself said, What did she say to the process in him? concerning her status over over the other wives I chose? No. was the only version that the processor married? She said, you have a suit a lot. What do you think of a person who has a flock of sheep? Okay.

00:33:34--> 00:34:04

Do you think she would go to the valley that has never been grazed? Or you're going to go to the valley that has already been grazed by someone else? Okay, so the problem is that, of course, he didn't understand what I was saying. That of course, the ones that, you know, no, no fluc has gone to. So then then he understood that I she meant herself. Okay, that no, you know, obviously she's a virgin. She's never been married before, whereas all the other prophets wives, they had been married. Okay, so it's as if she's trying to show her superiority and status over the other of the profits wise in that manner. Okay. Likewise, there are other ideas in which the process encourages

00:34:04--> 00:34:38

the men to marry virgin women. Okay, this doesn't mean that they should not marry widowed women. Of course, it's a great reward involved with that to what we're saying, When the man has the option, then you should prefer the version over the widowed or divorced woman. Okay. Again, culturally, this has been taken to an extreme, it shouldn't be taken to that extreme. We just think of the of the things that a person should look at when marrying a woman or a spouse. Even when a wife looks at the husband, she should look at these factors. The husband should also look at these factors. Obviously, the extreme that has gone to in our society is not Islamic, that we're a widow, or a divorced woman

00:34:38--> 00:34:59

is looked down upon, and she would never get married. No, this is obviously an Islamic extreme. This is an Islamic extreme that our society has taken this to this is a point that we should mention before we move on. Okay, so these are some of the characteristics that's the process that I'm encouraged men to have or women to have when men propose to them. Okay. I'll keep an eye out for inshallah.

00:35:00--> 00:35:01

So these are some we mentioned how many seven right?

00:35:03--> 00:35:10

For that I mentioned that Hadoop will lose in Windows and also seven seven things that are mentioned in the profits are heavy. Okay?

00:35:11--> 00:35:21

How does the person know whether she's beautiful or not? I meant how do we how do we how much are we allowed to look at the goal is to try to get to another you just jump somewhere else.

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Okay, so now we basically move on to the subsection before we move on to the last section move on to subsection is that looking at you know, the opposite sex right now let's keep the title as I'm looking at the opposite sex. Okay. It goes without saying everyone knows that it is prohibited to look at any member of the opposite sex.

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In general, this is a general rule it is prohibited to look at any member of the opposite sex a lot says in the Koran who lives in a booming absorbing tell believing men to lower their gaze, and he says well hold on a minute to

00:35:52--> 00:36:24

tell believing women to lower their gaze. Okay? So the gays eyes. Allah has commanded us to lower them and when he has commanded us to lower them everything beyond this is automatically implied. So touching and kissing and fondling all of this is automatically implied. I say this because there are many people out there Believe it or not the modernists they say the Quran prohibits looking it doesn't grab a chicken house. Okay, you're allowed to touch women. I'm not joking. This is a common theme. Okay? Even people that come in and whether they say it aloud to shake woman's hand, okay, it's a common theme. And they'll say there's nothing prohibiting this and okolona sooner, that's not

00:36:24--> 00:37:01

true. But I say even this versus a reputation for them. Because Allah says lower your gaze, when Allah commands you to lower your gaze automatically implies what lowing everything beyond that, controlling your emotions, okay, touching you with hands and finally them and kissing everything automatically is permitted when you are going to prohibit which McCall it will you let me give you another example. Allah says in the Quran, don't say to your parents. Don't say off to your parents. Is anyone going to come and say, Well, I'm allowed to hit them because upon didn't tell me it's not allowed to hit them. I'm allowed to Christian rebuke them. Know, when the Quran is telling you don't

00:37:01--> 00:37:22

say to them, it's showing you that even as a wife is a great sense. Imagine something more than this. Okay, so this is another sort of trick, if you like, is that when the Koran is telling you to lower your gaze, not even to look at women and women not even to look at men, this automatically implies the next step is prohibited to okay. And like like the famous poem goes, I don't know it in Arabic, but

00:37:24--> 00:38:03

the first step is the gaze to look after, which leads to a smile, the smile leads to talk to talk leads to a meeting, the meeting leads to Xena, okay, so how do you start it all off by Look, if a man lowered his gaze, he would never find any woman attractive because he would never see that woman Okay, the primary cause like like the thought of the seller said is that the site or the gaze is the poison arrow of shavonda he that he throws at you he shoots at you. This is the poison arrow shape and this is how all the diseases start. This is how everything starts at the gate. So Allah has permitted the gates to cut off everything beyond that. Okay, now obviously this is the general

00:38:03--> 00:38:12

ruling it is not allowed to look at members of the opposite sex. However, it is allowed for men to look at their Madams they're Muslims who is a Muslim, what is the maximum

00:38:14--> 00:38:15

someone they cannot marry

00:38:16--> 00:38:28

permanently they cannot marry permanently someone they cannot marry permanently. Okay, this excludes people that you cannot marry for a temporary reason. Okay. Someone they cannot marry permanently. This is your my home. Okay. So you are allowed to look at your home.

00:38:30--> 00:39:05

From what is culturally acceptable, for example, the the hand and the face and the hair, you're allowed to look at an atom's your sister, your mother, you're allowed to look at those things, which normally which is apparent in your culture. Okay, so like the the hands and the face and the hair is pretty much unanimous. Every culture allows this for between the mother and the son and the mother and the brother and the sisters. This is allowed. Okay, so you're allowed to look at your mom. Everything that is allowed to look at, excuse me, everything that is normally apparent to look at normally goes back to the culture of that time. Okay. Likewise, in cases of exceptional need badura,

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you're allowed to look at the opposite sex, for example, the doctor, likewise in the testimony in a court, okay, in the court. Likewise, for example, you saw a crime being committed by certain woman, you were the one that saw that woman. Obviously, you're allowed to look at her in this case. I mean, it's understood necessity, okay. And it's just that you're allowed to look at

00:39:23--> 00:39:24

a woman for that reason.

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Now that there is a difference of opinion concerning women, can they look at men or not? There's a difference between women can they look at men or not? Okay, if not, men cannot look at women, except if their moms are their wives and their slave girls. But can women look at men? There's a difference between what is the difference opinion based on Does anyone know? There's a famous editor of I'll give you a hint. Famous hadith of Ayesha.

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When she when she was watching

00:39:55--> 00:39:59

the Indian men, there was any men playing in the masjid. Okay, so

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Some of your enemies they say that, obviously it's well known that the desire in men is much more than that a woman. Okay, so they use this hadith of Ayesha that the process of them took Ayesha and he made her season, the seniors playing in the masjid and she was hiding behind the process in her cheek was upon the Prophet shoulder and she was behind the Prophet body so the men could not see her. Okay, but she could see the men Okay, so they use this address and they say that in because the process isn't allowed Alisha to look at the men. This shows you then that is allowed for women to look at men. Okay? However, we say that this is not the correct opinion. Because the Quran is

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explicit, we're only a minute tell the leading women to lower their gaze explicit, you know, really in the Quran, there's a lot of talk to the men and then he talks to women. Why? Because one of our dresses in the masculine, it automatically includes the feminine. But in this verse, Allah specifically mentions masculine and then feminine tell the leading men to lower their eyes tell the leading women to lower their eyes. So because of this, we say that it is the gym ruling is that it is not allowed for women to look at men, but we say that there is some laxity, so more laxity. When it comes to women. There's room for laxity, whereas there is no luckily when it comes to men based

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on this study. So when a woman does not have any desire, for example, you know, class professors or lecturer or something, she doesn't have any desire for him, she's not attracted to him, then the case is more likely than vice versa. Okay. The case is more likely vice versa, the men does not have any demand does not have any luxury, whereas the woman has some laxity. Anytime However, there is some desire in her than for sure it is not allowed anytime she has a crush or anything like this, of this nature, automatically by age, not by unanimous consensus, it becomes prohibited for her to look at that man. Okay. Now the point of this section where we're talking about this, what can the man

00:41:43--> 00:42:15

look at? To the woman that he proposes? This is the big difference of opinion. Okay, when you go to propose to a woman, what parts are what can you see of her? Okay, there are four opinions about this issue. We'll just mention them briefly. It's not by the way, it's not going to be my general rule to mention all of these different opinions, because we have to move on fast. But just for the sake of interest, I'll just mention these four. And then we'll talk about the correct one, the first opinion which is the most radical so that you can look at everything. Okay, this is the opinion of the void. The Void is yes, there was a famous Harlem and group of elements, they said you can look at her

00:42:15--> 00:42:22

whole body everything. Okay. This is of course, the incorrect opinion. The second opinion, state that you can look at

00:42:25--> 00:42:57

her face and her hair. Okay, her face and her hair. Because in general, you're not allowed to look at the woman's face. Remember, brothers? Even though there's a different opinion about niqab right? There is no difference about you looking at a woman, whether she wears the club or not, you should look at her. You see, there, there might be a difference between about the niqab, whether it's towards or not, but there's no difference of opinion about looking at the woman. So the second opinion states that when you go to propose to a woman, you're allowed to look at her face and her hair, okay? The third opinion, state, you're allowed to look at whatever is apparent from her that

00:42:57--> 00:43:21

she shows her mom's, whatever is apparent that she shows her manners of, for example, a hand would be included, okay, maybe her upper or lower shin. Okay. Like wherever she would wear in front of her father and brother, you can look at that from her. Okay. And the fourth opinion is the most strict and only the face, only the face and the hands. Okay, only the face and the head is the most strict opinion. Okay, only the face and the hands.

00:43:22--> 00:43:56

Of these four opinions, the correct opinion is the one that says you can look at what is generally apparent of her, okay, the one that stays or whatever she generally wears in front of her parents in front of her brothers. That is what a man can look at of a woman when he goes to propose to her. Okay, what is the proof for this opinion? The proof for this opinion, is the fact that when one of the Sahaba wanted to get married, okay? The prosecutor asked him, did you look at her? Did you look at her? He said no, because he thought that the general prohibition also applies to him that he's not allowed to look at women. So the process is commanded in No, look at her. Okay, it is possible

00:43:56--> 00:44:21

that love might be made strong between you love might be cemented between you when you look at her. So you might well you will already have feelings for her. And she will have feelings for you before you get married. Okay, so it shows you that the process is telling the man that is going to propose go look at the woman, likewise, vice versa, the woman should look at the man because it'll, you know, save a lot of problems. They don't I mean, imagine, you know, you don't like the man or you don't like the woman on the wedding lights, and it's gonna cause a lot of problems, you know, you might as well get rid of it earlier on.

00:44:23--> 00:44:45

Likewise, job, there'll be a lot more I know, he said that, when the process is allowed me to look at the girl that I want to propose to, I used to hide behind a tree to look at her. I used to hide behind a tree and look at her meaning that you know the houses in those days, they would not have a curtain on them. Or they would not have the door excuse me, they just have a curtain. So the woman would just come in and out of the house and the neighborhood.

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So she would just go out without her proper hijab on because they would not be there. She would think that there's no one out there. So Java said I would hide behind the tree to try to look at her. And then he said finally when I thought enough of her to want to get married then I proposed her and marry

00:45:00--> 00:45:31

Okay, so the point is, this just shows you that the processor knew about this, he didn't get angry at Java. Okay, he knew about this. So this shows you that you're allowed to look at what is generally a parent of a woman. So for example, in our times, it might be she's wearing a skirt, with a blouse on without her job, and whatever she wears in front of her father and her brothers, you're allowed to look at that, okay? Now, this doesn't mean that you can spy on her in places that you're not supposed to, you know, like, you know, a hidden camera or something. I mean, you know, not to get, you know, mean, this doesn't mean that it means that what is generally apparent, for example,

00:45:31--> 00:46:03

let me give you a reasonable scenario, a brother proposes to the Father that I'm interested in your daughter, okay, so the father arranges a meeting between the Son and the daughter at his house, he doesn't tell the daughter that the brother has arrived, he doesn't have the daughter demand has right, and he calls her out into the room. So what is she going to be wearing? What is generally what she wears at home? So she's going to come dressed like that. And then the, the son or the brother, excuse not the son, the, the the mother is interested in her, you can look at her in this manner. Okay. So what is generally apparent to her, this is the correct opinion. Okay, this doesn't

00:46:03--> 00:46:27

mean that you're allowed to spy on her in places where you shouldn't, it means you're allowed to spy on her in places where you can, for example, if she goes to college, if you are interested in proposing and you have a serious chance of getting accepted, because it doesn't mean that you know, if you know that if I was going to say no to you can still find her No, you have a serious chance of getting accepted, then in this case, it is allowed to look at him when she's not aware of it. Okay, in public places, not in private places, in public places.

00:46:28--> 00:47:03

However, aside point, the man is not obligated to look at these things. In other words, if he goes to the house, and the woman comes out in a job, and he asked her, can you take her job off? You know, then it's up to the woman? It's up to the woman? She can say no, and she can say yes. So the woman is not obligated to show him what is what is generally apparently, you understand the difference. This is a fine point. It's a mirror image here, okay? From the man's perspective, he can look at everything that is normally apparent in her. But from the woman's perspective, she doesn't have to show him that it's up to her. You understand the difference here. So this is a common thing

00:47:03--> 00:47:36

that a brother proposes for a sister, he's sitting with her mom and everything. And he asked her, can you take her jump off? I want to see your hair. This is up to the woman? No, she has every right to say no. And she has every right to say yes. Okay. It is not, it is not his right to look at her. It is a privilege that he has, it's not a right. It's a privilege, you understand the difference? This is a very important point. Okay. Now, I would encourage the brothers that, you know, are proposing that there are other ways of finding out and just bluntly asking in this manner, you know, send your mother send your sister to look at her hair or something. Okay. Likewise, if the sister is

00:47:36--> 00:48:00

asked, she should be the better judge? Do I need to show him my hair? Is this a good prospect that I think I'm going to have a good life with that. It's better I do short my hair and move on with it. You know, so this is goes back to the sister also, General judgment call. But the point is, the current opinion is that the man can look at what is generally apparent of the woman when he proposes to her and he is allowed to spy on her in public places rather private, in public places. Okay.

00:48:02--> 00:48:34

Even better, in my opinion, even though pictures in general should not be allowed in this particular case. It is very encouraged, I think, because it saves you emotional problems later on. Okay, it takes the emotional problems of an actual face to face meeting that a brother might come to sister and then reject her based on her looks. Okay, this is going to be very hard. It's much better than the parents take charge of this. They send the brother a picture. Okay, with obviously guarantee that, you know, he's not gonna use use the picture, abuse it and send it back to them. All of these conditions are understood. But yeah, definitely alone. Definitely alone. Okay. So this was the first

00:48:34--> 00:48:36

section that we talked about, what was this section called?

00:48:37--> 00:49:13

No, this was the desired characteristics, desired characteristics of a spouse. And we talked also about how we're going to see how we're supposed to set those aside pointer aside section. Now we get to the last topic of today, and that is those people whom you are not allowed to marry. Okay, those people whom you are not allowed to marry? Why do we talk about those whom you are not allowed to marry instead of those whom you are allowed to marry? Because the By default, the rest is there, okay. Those who we are not allowed to marry are limited. They are limited in number. So by default, when we've defined whom you're not allowed to marry, everyone outside of this circle is allowed to

00:49:13--> 00:49:24

propose to and marry Okay, now there are a number of categories of whom you're permitted to marry. The first category permanent, prohibition permanent for your whole life. You can never American. Okay.

00:49:25--> 00:49:42

section one blood with blood relatives. So one a if you like when a blood relatives Okay, blood relatives that you're not alone that are not allowed to marry. These are seven, seven blood relatives seven categories of blood relatives that you are not allowed to marry. First one obviously.

00:49:44--> 00:49:45

Mother's second one.

00:49:46--> 00:49:47

Sister, third one.

00:49:49--> 00:49:53

Daughter, let's, let's go logically. Okay. Fourth one.

00:49:54--> 00:49:59

Onto meaning what brothers know mother's mother sister

00:50:00--> 00:50:03

fifth one. Father sister. Okay, sixth one.

00:50:04--> 00:50:07

Everyone knows just think who are you're not allowed to know who's your mom?

00:50:10--> 00:50:11

You're not allowed to know your wife.

00:50:13--> 00:50:16

No, we said blood relatives, relatives.

00:50:17--> 00:50:19

You know, so many cousins know your legendary cousins?

00:50:21--> 00:50:25

Your brother's daughter and your sister's?

00:50:26--> 00:50:48

sister's daughter? seven categories here. Okay? seven categories by Quranic ayah. Allah Allah says in Surah Surah. What was the hospital here? is on? Yeah, we should as if he doesn't know Salonika. He didn't say this is good. Anita, what are the categories of women that are your blood relatives are permitted to marry? He mentioned this in what in which, what if isn't

00:50:51--> 00:51:00

really metallic? Actually, right? There's a metallic Omaha token that alignment or primitive for you or your mothers? What is the definition of a mother By the way, when using the corner?

00:51:01--> 00:51:34

Every woman that was a direct cause of your birth. So your mother, your father, his mother, your mother's mother, your father, his father's mother, your mother's father's mother's father's father's mother. All of this included in the category of mother in the Koran when a lot is prohibited for you or your mothers. Okay, not just your direct mothers, but every woman who was a direct cause of your birth. You understand that? Everyone there is a direct cause of your suffering Metallica, Mahajan, visitbritain Surah Nisa provided for you or your we're getting the blood relatives no blood relatives provided for you or your mother's secondly by not to come

00:51:36--> 00:51:40

choose me that secondly, your sisters what is the definition of a sister

00:51:42--> 00:51:47

from your mother so if you see for the sister You can marry before the sister Can you marry her your father, your stepsister

00:51:48--> 00:51:53

give me an exact definition of sister every female that has

00:51:55--> 00:52:15

the same mother or father or both as you okay every female that has the same mother or the same father or both of them as you so your your mother your sister from your mother's side or your sister from only your father or your sister from father mother all of them are prohibited. So this is second thing third thing is daughter who can get me the definition of a daughter

00:52:18--> 00:52:35

every every female that you will causes the person okay? So your daughter and your sons daughter and your daughters daughter and your Son Son, son and daughter and your sons, daughters, sons daughters are all of this included in daughter, okay. So all of this is also predicted for you. So this is three the fourth one is what now?

00:52:36--> 00:52:47

Your father sister, so your father sister is defined to be every sister we define what sister is, okay, who is related to one of your father, we define what father is every meal that has had

00:52:49--> 00:52:51

every meal that has had some

00:52:52--> 00:53:17

not some relationship? No. He was the cause of your existence. Exactly. You came out of his progeny. Okay, so your father sister, your grandfather's sister, your great great great grandfather's half sister is all included in this okay. Likewise, mother sisters the same thing Okay. That every woman that was a cause of your birth, okay, her half sister full sister step sister. All of that is permitted so these are now five categories. sixth one is what?

00:53:18--> 00:53:29

brother's daughter So likewise your brother your full brother stepbrother, half brother, every daughter meaning every daughter he went down likewise your sister full brother full sister. stepsister half sister. What is a sister so what's the half sister knows?

00:53:32--> 00:53:33

half sister?

00:53:34--> 00:53:35

Yes. What's the step sister?

00:53:37--> 00:53:47

steps sister is when you have the same father but different mother. Okay. And half sisters when you have the same mother but different father. Okay.

00:53:49--> 00:53:50

What's so difficult?

00:53:53--> 00:54:21

Step sister. Okay, a woman was married to a man they had a child, okay. The man dies divorce whatever, no, sorry, the woman dies was divorced, okay. The man marries another woman. He has another child. So the first child was the second child or step. Okay, like was the mother did it the mother was married to a man, the man died or was divorced and mother marries another person, then the relationship to her child with the first husband and the second husband, their half brothers or half sisters. Okay, so all of this are prohibited. So these are the seven categories prohibited by

00:54:24--> 00:54:25

we need to have a chart next time.

00:54:30--> 00:54:31

Okay, okay.

00:54:32--> 00:54:48

There's the Islamic concept. Okay, stepbrother and half sister and fulfill means you share your mother and father. Okay, so this is the first category one eight, we now move on to one beat. And this is those that are prohibited by in law relationships, in more relationships, okay? Those that are permitted but in more relationships.

00:54:50--> 00:54:59

These are for women. Now obviously, when Allah and His Messenger have defined those women that are permitted for you to marry. So for sisters, all we have to do is look at it from the other perspective.

00:55:00--> 00:55:23

four sisters, all you have to do is look at it from the other perspective is not shouldn't be too difficult. Okay? Just make yourself look at it from the man's perspective and see, is it productive for me to get married to this man or not? Okay. Now, in more relationships, there are four categories of women that are prohibited for you to get married to based on in law relationships. Okay? The first one, our fathers wives.

00:55:24--> 00:55:26

No holistic isn't your father wife's father, his wife, your mother?

00:55:27--> 00:55:28

Yeah, but we're talking about

00:55:30--> 00:55:33

not your in laws, if your father has another wife besides your mother.

00:55:36--> 00:56:12

Okay, so if your father had more than one wife, or like many cases, the first wife dies and the father marries a second. Okay, so the fathers wives, this is prohibited. As soon as the marriage contract is done between a man and a woman, okay, that man was your father, then that would become terrible for you. Even if they didn't consummate the marriage. You understand this point? Okay. Your father, you know, proposes to a woman they accept they have the marriage contract before he entered the divorces or just by the very fact that they had the marriage contract and make the primary for you to marry that woman. Okay, so number one, number two is your son's wife, your son's wife, exact

00:56:12--> 00:56:34

opposite situation, your son proposes to woman they accept they get married, whether he enters or not. As long as the marriage contract took place, then it becomes permitted for you to marry that woman. Okay, so your son's wife also is your mom. By the way, this also defines your metaphor, you know? Okay, so your mother in law is your mom? Well, we didn't get there. Excuse me. Your father's wife is your mom. And your son's

00:56:35--> 00:57:11

wife is also your mom. Okay? The third category is your wife's mother, your wife's mother. So as soon as you have the marriage contract, then the women would you whom you've had the marriage contract with her mother becomes held on for you permanently, permanently. As soon as you have that marriage contract. So your mother in law is your mom. Okay? Your mother in law is your mom, she didn't have to do his job in front of you. You can go and traveling with her. This is your man and permanently. You are not allowed to marry this woman. This is as soon as the marriage contract expires, whether you enter this woman or not is irrelevant. Okay, you understand what do you

00:57:11--> 00:57:35

constantly dimension not as soon as you sign or whatever you verbally agreed to the marriage and the woman's father verbally abused to the marriage. That's the marriage contract, three women automatically become held on okay. The father's wife, the sons, the sons wife and the wife's mother. Is everyone clear me? All right, these women by merely agreeing to the marriage contract not agreeing to

00:57:36--> 00:57:42

the marriage contract is in effect, whether you continue whether you actually enter her or not is irrelevant. Okay?

00:57:44--> 00:58:18

If the wife dies, even if you didn't enter her, her mother's hat on for you, okay, now the third category is dependent on whether you enter her or not. And that is your wife's Daughter, your wife's daughter. Now in this case, she becomes how long for you? Your wife daughter, meaning what? Not your daughter, but she has a daughter from another marriage obviously, okay, your wife started becomes heroin for you only after you have entered her consummated the marriage. So suppose you had a marriage contract with a woman. Okay. And you divorced her without entering her without considering the marriage, in which case you're allowed to marry her daughter, but you're not allowed to marry

00:58:19--> 00:58:47

her mother. Okay. So, is that clear in more relationships or for in more relationships that permanently make marriage How long are the first one is father's wife, second one is friend's wife. Third one is wife's mother these three are permanently held on as soon as the marriage contract takes place, whether the man does anything relevant by merely taking the marriage contract and is in place these two become hard on the first one is based on

00:58:48--> 00:59:02

constellation of the marriage, the wife, daughter, only when you have entered a woman has her daughter the compound for you. When you have actually consummated the marriage before that time, it is allowed for you to divorce that woman and marry her daughter. Okay.

00:59:03--> 00:59:11

That was second category, that of the permanent things. Okay, the third category of permanent prohibitions are foster parents. Okay.

00:59:14--> 00:59:16

foster parents. Now,

00:59:17--> 00:59:52

the general rule of thumb is that the foster mother and the foster father are taken as the mother and father when it comes to marriage laws. Okay. The foster mother and the foster father are taken as real mother and father, which means then that the father's mother's brother and the foster mother, sister and the foster mother's grandfather and the foster mother, other children, they all are as if they are your brothers and sisters and uncles and aunts and relatives. Basically, our wishes are not your real parents. But we think from from a marriage point of view to decide who you can marry or not. You pretend as if they are your parents and branch out likewise. Okay? Is that

00:59:52--> 00:59:59

clear? Is that the same prohibitions that apply to your mother and father, that they're their brothers and their grandfathers and their children, everything likewise, that applies to you. So supposedly

01:00:00--> 01:00:01

And breastfed you, and she has

01:00:03--> 01:00:07

a son. Okay? She has a son from another marriage. Okay?

01:00:09--> 01:00:24

That person is as if it's your brother or a daughter, a sister if your man is as if that person is your sister, because that's your mother know your foster mother. Okay. every relationship that a real mother and father have with their child applies to the foster mother and child. Okay.

01:00:27--> 01:01:03

We're getting there. We're getting there. Now. First thing, first thing, the mother, the foster mother, who is she? What is the what is the classification of the foster mothers? Okay, there's again a biggest turnoff about this. Some of them I say even a drop of milk does the job. Other nmsa 10? sucklings? Okay, they're the most a three, but the strongest opinion is five, five, okay, in other words, is the woman First they always have to be a woman. So no animal can, you know, doesn't apply that okay? The woman normally the books of the convention this because, no, it's just the thing has to be mentioned, woman, sec, first condition a woman breastfeeds the person second thing.

01:01:04--> 01:01:42

The second condition is that the person must be below two years of age. Okay, so you can't you know, drink the breast milk of an older woman and then be her mom, you know, or if you're 20 years old, or 20 or 30 years old, and you drink the breast milk and your mom know that it has to be that the man is below or the child is below how much I said I like interactive classes, two years of age tattooed below two years of age. So anything below or after two years doesn't count as breastfeeding. After two years, a child can never have a foster mother, okay has to be within two years. The third condition is that there have to be there has to be five sucklings five times the woman must feed the

01:01:42--> 01:02:22

child until the child is full. Five times those times can be in one day, in one hour in 10 years, it doesn't matter what the country intended, because he grew up has to be two years. Okay? Anytime that the women breastfeed a specific child five times and that child is below two years of age, then that automatically becomes foster mother for this for this child. Okay, that women becomes a foster mother for this child. So by the way, it is very important. It is very important that we keep track of this, if we keep track of this because a Sahabi married a woman at the proper time. And after the marriage and they have children. Many years later, a woman came a black slave girl came and she said

01:02:22--> 01:02:55

you have a suit of law. I breakfast this man and this woman, unfortunately to both of them. Okay, so the process of them had to cancel the marriage. And the matter yada Sula, we've been married for so many years, we've had children now. Okay, so the matter of the process and respond is painful. Okay. How can you remain married, and it has been said that your foster brother and sister, okay, so we have to be very careful. Women in particular, they're very lacks about this issue that any child is hungry, they'll give him their breasts to feed on. Okay? It's a very dangerous thing. It's not, it's not proven to do but keep track of it. Keep track of it. How many times have you breastfed this

01:02:55--> 01:03:28

child. And if you have done so, make sure it is well known. You tell the mother of that child, you tell the father of the child, your husband knows that you have breastfed this child and this child now is a foster son to you now, because it's it's possible that this child grows up and he's interested in your daughter and you cannot give her daughter to him and manage. Okay, it's possible that he's interested in you're a relative of yours that it would be prohibited for him to get married. Okay, so you have to keep track of foster ship foster mothers. Okay. Now, this is the first point what qualifies as a foster mother. Second point what qualifies as a foster father? The foster

01:03:28--> 01:03:34

father is defined to be the one who caused the breast milk to appear. What do I mean by that? Who understands this?

01:03:36--> 01:03:47

The husband that was married at that time, at that time to that woman, okay. So if the woman stood up, for example, the foster father Okay, his sister, can the boy marry his sister?

01:03:49--> 01:04:16

No, why? Because it qualifies as an uncle for him. Okay, now, suppose the woman got divorced. She married another man. Okay, she married another man. And that man has a sister can the child marriage act sister? Yes. Okay. So the foster father is defined to be Who? The woman or the man that was the cause of the milk. In other words, that was the one that impregnated her in the first place. And she she had breast milk because of this, man. Okay, so the first of all is designed to be that man. Okay.

01:04:17--> 01:04:43

Now, I said, The general rule is that the foster mother and father they take on the status of the real mother and father. So anytime you want to look at anything, you just go back to it, pretend as if it's your mother and then calculate it out. Okay? This woman gave me five times. It's as if she's my mother, I can't marry her daughter, I can't marry her sisters. I can't marry her and all of it becomes permitted for you. There are many theories about this. Like, for example, the president clearly says everything that prohibits

01:04:45--> 01:04:59

blood prohibits foster ship at the same time. In other words, foster foster takes on the same status as blood relationships, okay. Likewise, a man came to eyeshadow below one half and he entered it upon her

01:05:00--> 01:05:25

And when the processes are engineering, you know, in the same room, the process arrived, you saw a man without a shirt, so he became very angry. Okay, so I should say that a suit of law, he is my foster brother. We were rescued by the same woman. So he became calm. So the point is that foster brothers as a future model, you cannot physically you cannot marry this man. He becomes your mom. Okay. So the process of didn't get angry when he found out that it was her foster brothers, fed by the same person, like was

01:05:26--> 01:05:53

one of the hobbyists she proposed to the process now on behalf of Hamza who is having his daughter who is Hamza, the prophets, uncles, right. So has his daughter in general is allowed, right? Because it's the prophets cousin. Hamza was the Prophet uncle. So that prophets uncle's daughter is the prophets cousin. So one of the Sahaba proposed on behalf of Hamza daughter. So the Prophet said, No, I cannot marry her. Because Hamza and I were breastfed by the same woman. Were breastfed the same manner. So it's as if she's my niece. No.

01:05:54--> 01:06:33

Okay, so it's as if she's my niece, because Hamza and the process of them they became foster brothers now, even though they are uncle, and nephew. Hamza is Abdullah, his brother, Mohammed Abdullah Abdullah, the brother called Hamza even further their uncle and nephew. In general, his daughter is a cousin for the process of making get married. But because Hamza and the processor was breastfed by the same woman, it is as if he became a foster brother for the process of so Hamza daughter became like the profits. Nice. Okay. So again, it's very, very important that we keep track of foster hood. Okay, foster mother, foster mothers and foster fathers. Another have you to love it.

01:06:33--> 01:06:47

So I'll quote here is that a man came to Ayesha asking to you know, come into the room. And she said, No, I don't know whether you're, whether it's allowed for you to come in or not. Because I don't know if you're related to me or not in the sense that the man was the brother

01:06:48--> 01:07:06

of the husband of them have the woman that breastfed Ayesha, okay. get this straight. The woman that breastfed Ayesha, her husband's brother. Okay, so when the processor came back, she asked the processor, she said, The can this month, come and visit me? Okay, so the person said yes, because it is as if he's your uncle.

01:07:07--> 01:07:19

You see how that man becomes a foster father of Ayesha. And the foster father has a brother, so becomes the foster uncle of Ayesha. Okay. I'm not confusing anyone is it? If you're getting confused, I'll repeat it over again.

01:07:21--> 01:07:21

So right.

01:07:22--> 01:07:37

The point is, the point is simple rule of thumb, foster ship, okay. Take on the same status as real mother and father, it's that simple. For us to shift take on the real status as real as mother and father. So this was the what category now?

01:07:39--> 01:07:42

The third one, right. The third one, okay.

01:07:44--> 01:07:44

Now,

01:07:45--> 01:07:55

now we move on to temporary prohibitions, temporary prohibitions. Okay, temporary prohibition, we'll finish it up quickly shall be formally first one.

01:07:59--> 01:08:13

First one is combining a woman with her sister and a woman with her aunt is the temporary permission, okay, that you marry a woman and her sister and a woman and her are so for example, sister in law, are they your mom?

01:08:14--> 01:08:53

Or are you their mom's To be more precise? No, because marriage with them is only temporarily forbidden. Okay, so you cannot marry a woman and her sister at the same time. So your wife, sisters, okay. Your wife sisters, you can't marry them at that particular time. But suppose something happens with the first marriage contract, then you can marry the one sisters. Okay, well, either the wife dies or the divorce happens or anything happens. Okay, then you can marry the wife sister. So it's not a matter of them because it's not permanently permitted to marry that woman. Okay, likewise the wife's us her mother sister and her father sisters. Same thing. You cannot marry them temporarily.

01:08:53--> 01:09:00

They are not permanently held on for you only temporarily. Likewise the wife's nieces Okay, same thing sister's

01:09:01--> 01:09:18

daughter and brother's daughter temporarily forbidden that's why we say that the second category is temporarily forbidden. The first was permanent you can never marry that first category. Anyone in the first category how long for you for your whole life? This category is only temporarily out on free temporarily Halloween. So this is the first section which is

01:09:19--> 01:09:20

sister in law and

01:09:21--> 01:09:35

wife's wife's what aren't and he says okay, this is this is based on a personal Quran that Allah says what antigen are obeyed and Athenian llama kata that you combine between two sisters. Okay and the process of added on to

01:09:36--> 01:09:49

the nephew and the excuse me process added on the wife and her aunt and the wife 100. Nice. Okay. So this also permitted to combine at the same time. Okay. The first revision the second progression that's temporary, is

01:09:53--> 01:09:59

the second period is a temporary scuffle. What do I mean by Cooper? I mean any any costume is prohibited to marry

01:10:00--> 01:10:25

For the man and for the woman, okay, temporary because inshallah there is a possibility that that person might accept Islam. Okay? It's not allowed for a man to marry any Catholic woman and it's not allowed for a woman to marry any Catholic man. There is one exception however, as everyone knows that the man can marry Jewish and Christian women, okay, Jewish and Christian woman, as indicated minutes specifically Jewish and Christian, non terrestrial, not Megan's not any other religion, not Hindus in particular because there

01:10:27--> 01:10:29

were idol worshipers, okay.

01:10:30--> 01:10:59

So, a man can only marry Jewish and Christian woman as long as they are practicing and they are pious. In other words, they are not committing Zina, okay, they are most honest, they are activities in Can you can marry Christian and Jewish woman. As for the woman, she can never marry any non Muslim man under any circumstances, but we say that's temporary. Why? Because the man might accept Islam. Okay, so that's a temporary prohibition, go for it as a temporary prohibition. Okay, as a footnote from Muslim men marrying Christians and Jews.

01:11:00--> 01:11:22

Many of the lemma they say that it's not allowed for him to do so in doubleheader in the enemy territories, okay? This is only allowed to do so in Muslim lands. Why is that because if a divorce were to take place, then the children will be Muslim. Okay. But if adults divorce will take place in non Islamic territories, then they might become Catholics, and this is what has what is happening in this country. So really,

01:11:24--> 01:11:40

I'm not saying it's heroin, but definitely, definitely a Muslim should not think of marrying a non Muslim woman, especially in this country. And we've seen too many cases and I've personally known of cases where divorce ends up and it's also common that divorce happens in these type of situations. A divorce happens and the children are raised as long as Christians and Jews

01:11:41--> 01:12:07

all too common. So even though there is a permission to do so, I would not recommend any person to do so in this country. Okay. In general, the courts are going to give the children to the mother, especially since the father is a Muslim, and they're going to be raised as non Muslims. Okay. And many of the other mothers specifically stated this is only allowed in Islamic territories. Okay, where you marry a person who is in the Islamic territory What if something were to happen then you can take the children back and raise them as Muslims. So this is the what what number No,

01:12:10--> 01:12:11

no, not five, not five.

01:12:14--> 01:12:22

Two, because the first the first the first three were permanently held on now we're talking about temporary How long is the next section? So the second one now, okay. Now the third one

01:12:23--> 01:13:01

is Gina fornication okay? Allah says no, come on that and sort of the new he says, No fornicators should marry except to fornicators okay. No person that is committing Zina should marry except a person who is committing Zina. Okay, that Thank you. What is the verse was Danya to live in kohala zoning, you know, that design, you're the one that is committing Zina, she should not get married to a person who is of good character and noble character. Okay, so if a person a woman, for example, is committing Zina, and she's a Muslim, you should not marry her. He should not marry her until she has repented from that time, turn, you know, pious or changed her ways mended her way, then is allowed

01:13:01--> 01:13:33

to marry her according to the stronger opinion. But while a person is openly committing Zina, you know for a fact likewise, a sister knows for a fact that her brother is openly committing Zina. It is not allowed for her to marry. It is not allowed for her to marry her until that person repents, changes his ways, and does not allow for her to marry him until he changes his ways and repents from what he has done. So this was the third thing is that a lesson on that fornicators cannot marry except for indicators of meaning that it's a very evil thing. Okay. Very evil thing that a woman that is committing Zina, no one should propose to her except amendments committing Zina and also

01:13:33--> 01:13:53

that they be equal in their sin. Okay. No pious man she proposed or likewise with a woman that are the men that if they're committing Zina, no women should agree to that proposal unless she herself is committed. This is what the Koran says that no fornication marriage except for fornicators. Okay, now, so this is the third right temporary thing, the third one, right? Okay, the fourth one, which none of us have to face and probably never will.

01:13:54--> 01:13:56

numbers. What I mean by numbers

01:13:59--> 01:14:04

is the number of wives Okay, the magic number is four. If you have four wives, you can't

01:14:05--> 01:14:25

have a fifth one. So this is a temporary prohibition, okay? temporary meaning if one of them dies or you divorced, one of them you're allowed to marry after that. So likewise, like this one goes without saying, I mean, a lot in the Quran, marry two, three or four minutes or he stopped at four, which means more than four is how long likewise a man accepted Islam of the Prophet time and he said, he has 10 ways. Okay, so the person said, What did you tell him?

01:14:26--> 01:14:44

Choose four and divorce the rest, choose four and divorce the rest. Okay, so this shows you then that you are not allowed to marry more than four wives in something that is well known. This temporary because if something were to happen, were you to divorce the wife or one of them were to die, then you can marry more. You can find more women at that time. Okay, so what number is this?

01:14:46--> 01:14:49

For? No irony there. Number five.

01:14:50--> 01:14:51

Number five is

01:14:53--> 01:15:00

in the state of Islam. In the state of Bihar, neither man nor woman can marry. Okay, what is in the state of Ohio? What

01:15:00--> 01:15:00

Doesn't mean

01:15:01--> 01:15:28

Hajj or Umrah, okay, if you enact a marriage proposal during the state of your home that match proposal is not valid, it is not valid. Okay? One of the restrictions of Islam is that you cannot get married, like whether you cannot cut your hair, you cannot wear certain types of clothes. One of the restrictions of Islam is that you cannot get married nor can you accept proposals or can you be a witness? Nothing to do with marriage? Okay. You cannot have anything to do directly with marriage. Not indirectly, you can attend a wedding.

01:15:29--> 01:15:40

But you cannot yourself propose or accept a proposal or be a witness or be overly loving. You're not allowed to do anything directly. With America, this is also temporary, because as soon as you get out of your home then

01:15:41--> 01:15:44

then you can propose you're free after that to vote. Okay.

01:15:47--> 01:15:48

Likewise,

01:15:49--> 01:16:10

obviously goes without saying every married woman you're not allowed to marry that woman goes without saying, you know, another temporary thing is temporary. Every married woman. You're not allowed to propose to that married woman. Okay. Temporary because something might happen to the first match. Okay, divorce breakup, death of the husband after the incident. You can marry that woman. So what number is this? Seven? No.

01:16:11--> 01:16:13

This was this was six. Okay.

01:16:14--> 01:16:21

No, their marriage contract is also valid. They're much more counseled on the seventh one, the seventh one with a sixth right.

01:16:26--> 01:16:35

The seventh one is temporary temporary, that aren't allowed to propose to is the woman who is in her in the woman who is in her a de what is they're either

01:16:36--> 01:16:37

divorced or

01:16:39--> 01:16:55

widowed? Okay, divorced or widowed? Any woman that is inherited? Okay. You are not allowed to propose to her until the is complete is finished. You are not allowed to foster until the end is finished or complete. In other words, you're doing that. Okay. However, only in one scenario.

01:16:56--> 01:17:00

Can you hint at a proposal? What scenario is that Hospice is in the Koran.

01:17:01--> 01:17:01

You don't know.

01:17:04--> 01:17:07

Nagina, Heidi Cosima, I've worked on the human anatomy study, okay.

01:17:09--> 01:17:28

Okay. What does it mean? You don't know? Okay? No, no. So important thing to know the meaning of what you memorize. Okay. Allah says that there is no stain on you, meaning the men, if you hint at a proposal to a woman who has been widowed, okay, to a woman who has been widowed, where

01:17:30--> 01:17:39

she is in her final divorce, when you have a third divorce, you know that divorces, we're going to come to the topic of divorce soon inshallah. Everyone that attends marriage should attend divorce, okay. So that they know what's going on.

01:17:40--> 01:18:15

We're going to talk about divorce, we're going to say that, as everyone knows, you can only divorce three times, right? First, second, three strikes, you're out. Okay. So the woman that has three divorces, that woman and the woman that whose husband has died? These two women, you're allowed to hint at a proposal when she said, You're not allowed to state a proposal? Because they will? Do you understand the difference? A woman has lost her husband, okay, her husband has died for four months and 10 days. During this ADA, a man is allowed to hit at a proposal and not not come out and say it blatantly. What does it mean hit? It needs, for example, to say that

01:18:17--> 01:18:49

I'm interested in getting married, she's telling the woman I'm interested in getting married, you know, soon. So she gets an idea. But why is she mentioned Why is he mentioned this at the time, okay? Allah says this, and this is of the mercy of a lot of demand, the woman has just lost her husband, she's confused, she's scared, who's going to take care of me who's gonna look after me. So in order to give her some calm to reassure her, is allowed to hit a proposal, but you're not allowed to propose. And this is due to the fact that the sanctity of the first has been that you should wait for less than 10 days, okay? Or if she's divorced, three times, you wait till it finishes, okay. But

01:18:49--> 01:19:24

during this specific day, you're allowed to hit at a proposal, but not come out and say it. You can't say, I'm interested in marrying you. You can say, I'm interested, you know, in marrying soon, you know, do you know anyone that might be interested? Or, you know, I mean, the scholars gives a very funny example, you know, you know, for example, they say that, I'm interested in someone like you, like you, not necessarily you, but someone with your characteristics. So he's not really telling her I'm interested in you, but I'm interested in someone like you, okay. Or, you know, he can praise her and say that, you know, how can anyone turn down your proposal? I don't think you'll

01:19:24--> 01:19:26

have any problems finding someone, you know, something like that.

01:19:27--> 01:19:39

But he's not coming out and saying it explicitly. Okay. What is how long is for him to come out and say explicitly, but to hint at a proposal, the Quran says this is allowed to do so to hint at a proposal is allowed to do. So what number is this now?

01:19:42--> 01:19:46

This will be eight, seven. Okay. So this is all we need to talk about.

01:19:47--> 01:19:59

There's one more talking about, you know, sickness, but that's not really practical. When a person has his deathbed. There's a difference of opinion about that. Can he married or divorced or not at that time, okay. But before we move on, so now let's let's

01:20:00--> 01:20:21

A recap quickly what we done. First we talked about the status of marriage when we started talking about the blessings of marriage and that this is something that Allah, Allah has blessed mankind with that he has created them in two sexes, male and female. And both of these two sexes, they find comfort and love and peace in each other. Okay. And we talked about the the miracle of Allah industry, then we moved on to the status of marriage. And we said that in general marriage is

01:20:23--> 01:20:48

I said, interactive guys with the loud voice Mr. Hobson. Okay, marriage in general is Mr. Hudson. Okay. And we stated the proofs for this, that they are not obligatory in general, but it could be obligatory and it could be held on for person to get married, depending on the situation. But the general ruling is that it is worse to have. The third thing we went on to was a side point was to look at the proposed woman, and we said the correct opinion is that you can look at what

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what is normally shown to her madam. Okay, and you're allowed to spy on her in

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public places in public places. Okay. And you're allowed to look at her for this reason only. Otherwise, it is haram for any man to look at a woman Mattila haninge. I mean, absolutely haram except for him and his wives and stuff, because otherwise it's haram for men to look at a woman Okay. And then we moved on to those women that you cannot marry. And we said that we're going to define those because by default, everyone else is allowed to get married to and we said that we did divide into two categories permanently prohibited and temporarily permitted permanently is three categories. The first one is

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blood relationship, but relationships have seven women in them. Second one is

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in more provisions permanent in law provisions. And these are what the four are what what are they number one? Father's rights second one son's wife.

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Third, one wife's mother fourth one. wife got it. What is what? But that's only after consummation. The first three don't need consummation. Okay, then we move on to the third category, which is foster parents. What qualifies as a foster mother?

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You're under two years, okay. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter whether it's direct from the breast or in a bottle or anything? No, doesn't matter. Okay. Why? Because some of them identity differentiation, the correct opinion is No, of course not. Doesn't matter, which is addressed for from a bottle, same thing, the breast milk is what counts, okay? The five the five times under two years, from a woman, okay. So this becomes your foster mother, who is your foster father then?

01:22:20--> 01:22:21

Not

01:22:22--> 01:22:56

not necessarily other cancer parents suppose, suppose that a man and woman were married, the man divorced the woman while she was pregnant. Okay, then she breastfed you after her child was born after a year or two. Okay, she's not married to that man at that time. But she, that man was the one that caused the breast milk. So we have to be very careful in the way that we choose in fifth because, you know, she doesn't have to be married at that time. She could be married to another man at that time, but the man that causes the breast milk filter to appear. Okay, so that's your foster father. So the foster mother takes on the status of the rural mother when it comes to prohibited

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lineage. Likewise, the foster father, that particular man not any other man that that the woman married that particular match takes on the role of foster father so everything becomes permitted from that man. So this was the three categories that are permanently prohibited. Now we move on to the temporary permanent What do we take in temporary to number one?

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combining a wife and her sister or a wife and her aunt, and nice number two.

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Okay, number three, point number four.

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Number is the magic number number five.

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Number six,

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married woman number seven

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women in our ADA, okay, and number eight.

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We didn't really talk about that. Okay, so. So, basically, a man is allowed to propose to any woman as long as it doesn't fall into one of these categories. Simple. These are what is prohibited. If you fall into them, for example, you're married to a woman, okay? Or the woman falls into one of these categories and it's time for you to propose to that woman. Apart from that everything else is allowed. You can propose to any woman, okay? Three slave, minor, old major doesn't matter what their age is. All women are allowed if they don't fall in this category. Okay, so inshallah, with that we conclude today's lecture, and we stated that next week we're going to start at 715

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seven o'clock

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Okay, so seven o'clock exact inshallah we'll be starting next Monday, seven o'clock, exact. Monday, Wednesday, seven to Russia, promiscuity 70. Muslim. And if people want questions, optimal is fine with us inshallah. Okay, with that subhanak Allah homearama should have an identical physical Silver Lake.

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By the way, we're going to talk about what is the schedule are the topics we're going to talk about? We are going to talk about the

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laws regarding marriage. We're gonna talk about who you're allowed to marry, who you're not allowed to marry. What are the marriage contracts the proposal how it should be done? What is the proposal what is the marriage contract?

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attract exactly what should be in it. conditions in marriage contract and A Woman's Day, for example, don't marry more wives after me. So I'm going to talk about treatment between husbands and wives what should be the treatment there, then we're going to move on to how the marriage breaks. And that is through divorce through Hola, which is when the woman finishes that it was through other aspects. How does a marriage break? Okay, then after that, whoever wishes to attend after that, we're gonna talk about the laws of inheritance. Okay? The laws of inheritance are going to be the last thing that we do. What is the appropriate behavior in all aspects in regards to a person's

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female Cousins, Young and old?

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realize that they're not sure how to treat them as their normal humans that simple. treat them as the natural madam, it is allowed for you to marry your cousins. Okay. So a man should not be too open and free with his non Muslim relatives, only with his maternal relatives, his sisters, his aunt, you know, his nephews and nieces. These are the people that a man can be absolutely free with you, and joke and laugh and everything. Apart from this, the person should be cautious, versus Be cautious in any relationship that's not with his mom, you know, and in particular, with regards to the in laws, meaning like the sister laws and the brother in law, the processing said that they are

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debt, meaning that they lead to very major problems, okay? Because the man is always hanging around them. And this leads to other problems. Okay.

01:26:16--> 01:26:47

What if you thought it is okay to take your hijab off in front of your husband's uncles and you treated them and greeted them, like your own uncles? Is anything that can be done other than repenting? No, but in the in the future, just repent to Allah and you're not allowed to uncover in front of your sister in law, your brother in law, your father's uncles and your father's? You know, excuse me, your husband's uncle you're not allowed to uncover in front of them. So in the future, Allah Allah is not going to call you to account because you didn't know. But now that you know they are not your Muslim definitely that no one none of their own master distributor. Know Adam ever said

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your husband's brother's argument. I don't know if you've ever said your husband's uncle's dream home. On the contrary, more problems are caused by you know, these people than anyone else, like the president said, you know, because of the fact that intermingling between them. Okay, so there's nothing to do except in the future, don't show you know, have a proper job to them.

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What if the lady got to know a man through the internet became interested in him due to his Deen and his personality? But when she saw him, she did not find him attractive? I don't understand if the marriage didn't take place, then there's no problem is there? Likewise, this type of this type of getting to know each other should not be done between men and women? You know, this leads to more problems than any any benefits. No, it's not allowed. Not allowed. Okay.

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What is the basis from the Koran or sooner for the from prohibition is like hello, hi. This is an authentic hadith for group reporting in Bukhari and Muslim that's the problem said that the one who is in a home should not propose nor accept the management poles. In other words, be the word for the thing. So it's in the it's in the assume that the prophet SAW when the person said, Did you see her How do we know what

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the extent are, we know the extent we know the extent because of the fact that judge will be alone who

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tried to see her. While she didn't know she was being looked at. Okay, she didn't know that a man was looking at her. So she didn't wear the proper hijab. She just wore her regular clothes in front of her father and brother. Okay, so by this statement by this factor, because the process of neurosis that jabil went and spied on her in a public place by going to private place, okay, and when you spy on someone, meaning that, you know, just like the scenario I gave that the Father calls you into the room or something, the way she's going to be wearing what she normally is wearing in front of her other relatives. Okay, so because the process is allowed it, it shows you that it's

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allowed to see a woman in this manner. Okay.

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Now that we're not so different

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from that headache, we can't include conclude the extent of what you can see from that from other things we can. Okay, what is the proof that

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although consummation has not taken place that a father's wife is impermissible to married? Very good question. This is because of the fact that our last panelist has called us.

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re metalic. from Omaha Tacoma Tacoma Tacoma Tacoma Tacoma to

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Omaha to decide what to buy a book. So on the happiness icom You're, you're the woman who the the mothers of your wife, okay, the mothers of your wives? What about Abraham and your daughters of your wife, those whom you have entered? Okay, and then Allah says, What am I going to do?

01:29:33--> 01:29:59

Well, hello, I do have a formula, you know, and you and your sons wives, your sons wives that are from your own project. In other words, your direction is not your adopted son. And Allah says in another verse, that it is forbidden for you to marry your father's wife. So the very fact Allah has called my wife, just to call the wife needs that the marriage contract has taken place. That doesn't mean that there's confirmation or not. When a man and a woman do the marriage contract and marriage contract is not is valid. There are a man and a wife where

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to consummate the marriage or not is a different story. So Alas, it is prohibited for you to marry your son's wife and your father's wife and your and the mother of your wife. So just by the marriage contract these three become permitted to marry Okay, as for the mother as for the wife's daughter, Allah clearly says those whom you have entered as for those who have whom you have not entered, then it is allowed for you. So for the month for the wife, daughter, Allah Himself mentioned the condition and for the other three he doesn't mention the condition this is the truth for that. One was the I reveal concerning marrying the coffers alone we'll have to look it up, I don't know off

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the top of my head

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when can we talk and meet with non Muslims

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as less as possible?

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as less as possible, I mean, try to raise them

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Okay, let me finish answering the question. So

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obviously, when unless something has permitted looking at men, a woman obviously doing anything more than that is automatically not allowed. Okay, so to especially to be alone with them. haleiwa This is prohibited the person said no man is alone with a woman except a shirt on is a third of them. Okay? No man is alone with a woman without her man, except that the chiffon is the third of them. So the as much as possible and anything that is only for Motorola. Otherwise, it's not about for a man and woman to meet each other or talk with each other over the internet over the phone. All of this is prohibited. And you don't need an explicit verse for this. You don't need an explicit verse when

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it says not to look at them. You have to know your gait in front of women. You don't even know whether that woman is your wife or not your you know as a woman is coming from the distance you have to lower your gaze. Okay? So of course anything more than this is prohibited. It goes without saying goes without saying that anything more than this is prohibited