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Addictions And How To Overcome Them – ‘The 7 Step Plan’

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Yasir Qadhi

Channel: Yasir Qadhi

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

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da da dunya

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hamdulillah. All praise is due to Allah Subhana Allah the one and the unique. It is He alone that we worship, and it is his assistance that we seek. He revealed the Quran and he taught to man how to speak.

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He is the molar of the oppressed and he answers the DA of the week. So may Sadat and Salaam be upon the Mustafa, who was chosen to embody the prophetic peek as to what follows Allah subhana wa tada has reminded us to be conscious of him in the Koran when he says yeah you Hello Dina Armando tapa la helper to call to Walter Martin in our unto Muslim moon.

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Dear Muslims, one of the biggest struggles that many of us, perhaps all of us have, is the fact that we struggle with that which Allah subhana wa tada has forbidden upon us, despite the fact that the vast majority of things on this earth are halon, that the default is that the permissible predominantly outweighs the impermissible, just like when Allah said to our father and mother Adam and Hawa, enter Jannah, and everything is held on except for one tree. So two in this world, almost everything is hallel, except for a small list of that, which is how long and yet still, despite the fact that that list of how long is so small relative to the vast halaal. And despite the fact that

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we can find halaal pleasures in almost all of the other things that are permissible, the base instincts of man have good food and have good drink and have intimacy and have good friendship, this can be found in the halaal still, shape on comes to us like he came to our father and mother Adam, and he tells us that one How long is better than that million halaal. And there are so many amongst us amongst us. We struggle, perhaps with one particular sin that we are addicted to. Perhaps all of us or many of us have a weakness. Some of us might be for alcohol, others might be for gambling, others might be for hard substances like drugs, others might be for pornography We ask Allah is

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refuge from all of them. But this constant struggle of battling that which we're addicted to, it causes a toll on us. Ramadan after Ramadan, some of us might promise Allah This is it. This is the last from Oban and maybe even chawan, maybe even a few months after we are good. But then shaytaan causes us to slip. And the next time along we make the same promise and then extra Melbourne. We go for hedge and we make a firm decision. But we find ourselves in a few months, reverting back to maybe that same sin along with Stan. And what happens in all of this is that a sense of helplessness, hopelessness, even a sense of spiritual asphyxiation begins to overcome us. Perhaps we

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withdraw from being active in society. Perhaps we feel not worthy of doing so many other good that we used to do, in some cases battling these addictions, in some cases leads to physical depression. And maybe even worse than this. In today's brief hotbar I'm going to try to remind myself in all of us of seven practical steps of how to battle something that we're addicted to seven practical steps of how insha Allah to either we can take on these challenges and try the best insha Allah to turn over a new leaf. And we also have to understand brothers and sisters, that there's something called the psychology of addiction. And that's a whole different topic that I'm not qualified to give it as

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a psychiatric talk, that sometimes when we become so addicted to something, we are addicted to the addiction and not to the thing itself. Think about that. Sometimes we become addicted to the dopamine effect that our brain releases and not even that which we think we are addicted to. And so the addiction is even calm.

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pounded, because we don't even understand we're actually not addicted to the substance, we're addicted to the notion and concept of being addicted to the substance. So what can be done to break this infinite loop and this vicious cycle? First, everything begins with the heart and with intention, every single aspect of this world or the next must begin with a firm resolve a new year, in America to be nuts, there must be a firm resolve that I am going to change, if you don't have that resolve, if that doesn't exist in the heart, and it's just a fleeting concept, let me see if this works or not, you will never change that resolve, it has to take root in the depths of the

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heart, it has to be a firm conviction that I am going to be a better person and I can do this and Allah subhana wa Taala is not testing me with a sin that is above my capability, no law you can live for long enough son in law was Aha, I can and I will overcome this addiction that is point number one, point number two, anytime we want to do anything again these first points they are irrespective of what the goal is in this case the goal is to battled addiction and overcome it point number two, anytime you want to do something, after you have the intention to do it, you have to learn study have written if you want to become an engineer, you have to have the near and then you have to have

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knowledge of engineering. If you want to start a business you have to have the near and then you need to know the know how the wherewithal how to open the business, how do I declare a for profit company? How do I do this and that there has to be written you will say what do you mean their aim of addiction? What is the What are you talking about him of drugs and him of commerce in love gambling in the pornography. What do you mean by this? The response here, you need to have the the knowledge of Firstly, why is it How long? What did the Quran and Sunnah say about this thing that you're addicted to study, read, ask, listen to the verses of the Quran and the Hadith about your

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particular problem. And secondly, understand the physical harms of this addiction. This is the to stage knowledge to step knowledge, knowledge of the spiritual harm and knowledge of the physical harm. So for example, if you're battling drinking, if you're battling addiction to Homer to to wine, or whatever else substance it might be study, what did Allah say about Homer? Allah says in the Quran, yes, there might be some good in Homer, there might be some good, but the evil far outweighs the bad.

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Allah says the profitsystem says about homeowner about alcohol. And if this is about alcohol, when you think about drugs, which is worse, he says about alcohol. It is the source of all evil on Earth, all Mortal Kombat, if it is the source of all filth, alcohol is the source of all filth. Because when you're addicted to alcohol, you waste your time you waste your money, the greatest blessing Allah has given you your mind goes to waste, you are forced to do other sins. When you're addicted to drugs, you're going to be stealing money, you're going to be doing things that are out on to get the drugs, so it is the source of all evil study the Oran and the sooner about why this thing is how

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long learn the prohibitions, learn Allah is Lana is on the one who drinks Hummer have that in your mind, there has to be that knowledge of what Allah and His Messenger say, and then study the physical harms that come from this addiction. Because Subhan Allah brothers and sisters, Subhan Allah, whatever Allah has made, how long it is actually physically, tangibly harmful for your body. Allah has not made anything out on that is good for you. It is Allah's mercy to us. Why do you think it is how long just to have a for no reason without any cause? On the contrary, Allah says you're Hindu, the homotopy but where you had Ramallah himmelfarb If Allah has made the pure things good and

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halaal and Allah has forbidden, the hobby, the filthy the impure, Allah has forbidden the poison. Whatever is forbidden is poisonous. It is filthy, it is destructive, it is harmful. And I swear to you brothers and sisters, every single psychiatrist and every researcher who studies these fields knows look up the problems of alcohol. This country tried to ban it 120 years ago, but they failed. This country tried to ban alcohol it was in the constitution because they understood how mad how bad it is, how much death is caused the number one cause of cancer, all of this statistics of of traffic accidents and of money being spent. Look at the harms of gambling and the addiction to gambling.

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Look at the harms of pornography, pornography ruins marriages, it ruins it breaks apart marriages and I

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Say this bluntly young men that are addicted that are single yet, Fear Allah, firstly, and secondly, realize this addiction. It has the potential to break up your marriage, read, talk, listen to the TED talks about the problems of pornography, it has the potential to cause you to be impotent in the sense that you will not find love and conjugal happiness with a normal human being because you're addicted to an imaginary human being, you might not even be a father because of this addiction. Isn't that terrifying? Doesn't that scare you to the core? If you go down this path, you might not be a father, I have met multiple couples that have broken up because of this issue. The wife comes

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and says he cannot be a husband to me. How can this marriage last? Everything that Allah has made out on? It has physical harm. It's not just spiritual. It's not just abstract concepts. It's downright dangerous to our physical bodies, much less our spiritual souls. So studied, studied, study, read, memorize, listen to talks, even from non Muslims that are telling you the dangers of these addictions that you're battling. So this is point number one intention. Point number two, knowledge and knowledge is firstly spiritual, and secondly, physical ie the medical problems of whatever you are addicted to point number three, one of the ways to battle addiction, psychologists

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say that you should have between yourself in a law between yourself and your conscience. Those who don't believe they say this we will say between you and Allah, you have a set of rewards and balances, rewards and punishments that you assign upon yourself. You set a realistic goal. If I can abstain from this sin for one month, I will inshallah reward myself by purchasing something halal that I thought was a treat and I haven't had the money to afford it. I'll buy myself this for one month of ups donation. If I fall into that sin, I will give a penalty of X amount of dollars charity, every time I fall into that sin. Now, these rewards and punishments they have to be

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feasible enough to hurt or enough to enjoy without being too much. Because if you say I'm going to spend $100,000 every time I do a sin, then if it happens you're gonna say I can't do it. No, you make a hell of an oath to Allah and you put upon yourself a penalty that is enough to pinch you. But not enough that you say I can't do this May Allah forgive me. For some people that might be $100 for others 1000 if you're a student struggling with a job, maybe even $10 is a lot for you. Is it okay if I do this sin every time I do this sin I make a promise to Allah I'm going to give that $10 fee sybilla $100 $1,000 whatever is enough to pinch you but not to bankrupt you because then you're not

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going to do that. The same goes for reward or halaal reward and by the way, that money that you're going to save up from not doing the how long from not wasting time on the out on from not wasting money on the harem sure you'll be able to splurge on a better watch or whatever you want to have something halal something that Allah has made halal for you you splurge you just say I'm gonna get this The point being next time the urge comes to commit the sin next time shake on comes you're sitting all alone and the worst what's up comes remind yourself you know, I put myself that one month watch two weeks have gone by and tell another two weeks I'm gonna get what I want and I don't

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have to pay the penalty it's not worth it $1,000 for this and it's not worth it you made ahead of to Allah you have to do it. So you know if you do it, you have to pay that penalty then you say it's not really worth it. Let Me Be patient, then you distract yourself because the reward and the penalties have caused a distraction. That's the goal. That distraction is enough for you to find something else to do stand up and go take a walk outside, call up a loved one speak to a friend do something to get your mind off it and the reason where you had the time to do that is because you put it in your head a reward a checks and balance that is between you and Allah subhana wa Tada.

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This is point number three. Point number four of the ways to battle an addiction. Point number four is to bring in a loved one or a close friend whom you can confide in to be your spiritual mentor if you'd like to be your guide to be your coach in this regard, if you're struggling with let's say substance abuse, and you're married, you tell your wife You know what, I have to confess something I do x y and z I'm telling this to you I'm very embarrassed and sad but I need your help because I need another human being yes Allah is there but sometimes my mind becomes weak. Sometimes I slip I need a loved one that is going to be my comfort my support if you have a spouse inshallah spouse is

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ideal for this. If you're not married then a close friend or a cousin or somebody that you can trust that you know has your back. You reach out to them and you say you know what, I need your help. That person should sit with you and literally list go down. Okay, where are the points of weakness, okay, you have this contact on your phone who supplies you to drugs. I'm going to delete it right now. You don't know the number you have.

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No Contact, you're alone with the computer things happen, I'm going to move your computer to the living room, the other person will give you practical advice. Okay? If you're watching something you shouldn't watch, the other person will install on your computer software. There's many software's from many corporations that are even free and they have the password anytime you think you're going to log on that software will block those types of sites. And if it's a legitimate site, you have to call and that person will check in then put the password in. If you're spending money on Hummer, you say look, if I'm going to purchase with my credit card, you give it to you If so, you know what, I'm

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not going to spend anything until you have to approve. The point is you bring in somebody to act as a physical checks and balances because sometimes the conscious is weak. Point number four was your point number three was your internal conscience. Point number three was checks and balances in your own life. That's their point number four, you bring in an external checks and balance somebody that loves you cares about you once you're good. So if you're struggling with something and you're really not able to overcome, then you need to bring in a friend or a relative or a loved one or a spouse and you tell them point blank I need your help after Allah subhana wa Tada. And I trust you to not

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tell anybody and believe you me, insha Allah, Allah, every one of you has somebody in your life like that every one of you has somebody who cares so much about you. They might be angry, they might be irritated, but they're going to take that anger and they're going to transform it to love, I'm going to protect you, I'm going to make sure that you don't fall into this and you will be a better person for that our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam told us to have good companions, he told us that good companions are like carriers of perfume, you're in their presence, you're always gonna be good and bad companions are like the fire makers, bad companions are like the blacksmith that in their

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presence, you're going to go down. So this other party, the loved one is going to tell you, Hey, you got those people in your life, you got to cut them off. Those people are influencing you bad, you go to their house, you start drinking, you go to that place, you start smoking marijuana, you will have to stop that that person is going to see what you do not see. And that person will be brave enough and blunt enough to monitor and make sure you are not going to go over here and put in some physical checks and balances. That is point number four. Point number five.

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relapse is almost almost inevitable. It's very difficult to go cold turkey and the first time you become cured. It's very difficult and addiction, an actual addiction. It takes multiple times until finally you break free. So if a relapse occurs, don't lose hope and start from scratch all over again. And if relapse occurs, then start all over again. And if a relapse reoccurs start all over again. There is no timer for the quantity of repentance, and the only clock ticking against you doesn't care about how many times you've sinned. It cares that when the Angel of Death comes, you have quality repentance. Remember this point, Allah does not care about your past and the quantity

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of sins. Everything is decided everything that when the medical mode comes you are in a state of repentance. If you are like that person for the children of Israel that killed 100 people mass murder, and then he repented to Allah, a sincere repentance. Even then Allah forgave him that sin of his because he made a sincere repentance and the angel of death came at the time of repentance. Allah does not monitor how many times you have sinned, Allah does not concern himself with the quantity of sins. Allah is concerned with the quality of your repentance. So every single time you relapse, you turn back you start all over again and you do not give up hope. Regardless of how many

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times you have fallen, you you stand up again, you dust off the whatever is there and you continue walking. That is the only hope of salvation that you have. Point number six brothers and sisters point number six. Never let shavonne come between you and another good deed because of a sin that you're doing.

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Never let shavonne come between you and another good deed because of a sin that you're doing. This is one of the most effective tactics of shape pawn. And yet if you think about it, it is the weakest shape on comes and tells you how you you are going to be active in the masjid and you are doing this in private, you are going to do something positive. You are going to go and give money to charity. Who are you you're spending money on haraam. You think Allah is going to accept your money and charity, and so you feel embarrassed, you feel shy, you feel guilty, and you just withdraw from public society, you withdraw from doing good, you withdraw from volunteering, thinking that you know

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what, this is better for me. I'm a sinful person, no point in me doing any good. How foolish is this philosophy. You need a good deed better than the pious person. Oh, sinner. Oh, sinner, you need a good deed.

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More than the Motoki needs a good deed. How can shavon possibly call convinced you that I shouldn't do a good deed I'm not worthy of a good deed On the contrary, use your addiction. Use your addiction to fuel a lifestyle of good outside of your addiction. This is the real repentant sinner in the eyes of Allah subhana wa tada you're battling with substance abuse, you're constantly slipping in and drinking what you shouldn't drink then you know what sponsor not just when 1010 orphans go for Umrah as often as you can and beg Allah for forgiveness, pray to hadoo even if your drink on that date still ask Allah for repentance and pray to God in the night because you understand You are the

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sinner. You need Allah's forgiveness, you need Allah's repentance more than that with Duffy. So never never allow a sin to come between you and the door for good. In fact, you need that door more than the width duck the and the righteous person. Therefore motivate yourself to do extra good deeds and keep on asking Allah in your private life for forgiveness, but never come never let the sin come between you and good. Don't you know the famous Hadith of the man who did something with the woman who should not do and he came to the masjid and he prayed with the Prophet sallallahu I think he was Selim and he said the other Sula, Allah I have done something I should not do I have done something

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I should not do. Please punish me. Whatever Allah has decreed the punishment is and the Prophet sallallahu Sallam said Didn't you in one version do will do and walk to the masjid and the other version? Didn't you pray with us all in JAMA? He said yes. He said Don't you know what Allah says in the Quran? In al Hassan RT with him in the yard, doing good deeds, causes bad deeds to disappear. In al Hassan RT, you've given us a yard. You did the sin. you repented. You walked all the way to the masjid, feeling guilty. You prayed. Knowing that Allah forgives sins, you prayed the prayer of a repentant person. Don't you know that Allah azza wa jal says in the Koran, doing good deeds,

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eliminates bad deeds, memorize this verse, oh, sinner, I'm a sinner, you're a sinner in hessonite you the heaviness a yard. So take that frustration, take that pain, take that guilt, and channel it to do something that you would not do where it's not for that sin. On the contrary, it is possible to your Muslim It is possible that that sin of yours that you repent from it will make you a better person. There are so many of our pious predecessors, including the famous handful they did bin al he was a gangster literally a mafia thug. He was a person who would rob on the highways, you know the mafia, and when he repented for the rest of his life, he became an odd amaziah than arbit, so that

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everybody who hears the name only thinks of him as the odd him default that nobody remembers the gangster years because for the rest of his life, he caused that regret to fuel a lifestyle of piety, if not, by your mentions, it is possible that the sin of a sinner causes a person to rise to the highest ranks of taqwa because of the effects of that sin in the heart of the McDuffie. So never ever cause the sin to shut doors of good On the contrary, motivate to do even more good. And the final point brothers and sisters point number seven, the final point, never despair of the mercy of Allah. Never give up hope that Allah can forgive you never stopped. asking Allah for help. Never

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stop is still far asking Allah for forgiveness. Never, ever, ever feel in your heart. That's all. There's no hope. Allah will never forgive me. Dear Muslim, dear believer in a law, the notion the belief the claim that Allah cannot forgive me is a bigger crime against Allah than any crime you can do on the face of this earth to another human being. Because when you do a crime to another human being that is between you and that person and when you save and when you claim and when you believe that Allah will not forgive me, you are limiting the mo fear of Allah, you are limiting the infinite amount of Pharaoh and Rama of Allah. Do you understand how utterly arrogant and how foolish a person

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must be one puny, infinitesimally small creation to challenge out of how more raw Hey mean the heart of the semi and, and to say, Allah cannot forgive me? Who are you? And what is all of your sins compared to the man and the Raheem? Do you not understand the challenge? When you say Allah cannot forgive me? Do you think that you are so sinful that the one whom Rama emanates from the one who is called Rahman doesn't have enough Rama for you? So the claim dear Muslim, the feeling that shaitan comes from shaitaan This is from shape on the feeling that I am too sinful, Allah will not forgive me That feeling is a bigger sin in the eyes of Allah.

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Because you have challenged Allah, it is a bigger sin than anything you could possibly do against the creation of Allah never lose hope in Allah's mercy always turn to Allah. Always ask Allah still for always make do and realize that it is possible it is possible that you be a sinner, you'll be a major sinner and still have enough good and enough hair to enter Jannah and be forgiven by Allah, you can be a major sinner and still get the testimony of Allah and His messenger that you're a good person. Don't believe me? Hadeeth isn't so Hey, boy, Howdy, howdy it isn't so hi behati Hadeeth is inside Buhari, or whatever we'll have, Bob says there was a man in the time of the Prophet

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sallallahu alayhi wasallam, who would always joke and laugh, and he would make the profitsystem laugh, but he was always drunkard as well. And he would be brought in front of the prophet SAW set of TV whip for his drunkenness, public drunkenness, one day he was brought, and one of the companions said law natural law he I like, Have you no shame how many times you have to be brought in front of the Messenger of Allah Lerner to law here I like how Have you no shame how many times you're coming? The prophets of the law why they he was sent him and he's the one ordering the punishment. He turns to the one who said the honor. And he said, Are you siding with shavon? against

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your brother? Are you taking the side of shaitaan against your brother? Are you making things worse? By the way, footnote here? Any time somebody comes to you with a challenge with a personal problem, and you say Lana to lahia Lake, you have the professor's and against you. Are you out of your mind. He's come to you for help. And you turn harsh towards him. He's come to you for assistance. And you say to him, how dare you get away from me? Are you siding with shavonne against your brother? He's coming to be cleansed and clean and you are making the situation worse. Are you siding with shavonne against your brother and then the Prophet of Allah the Mustafa the Habib, the Rahmatullah alameen.

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What did he say about this drunkard? The drunkard, man, you know what he said? Well, Allah He, I testify that he loves Allah and His messenger. The drunkard loves Allah and His messenger. Yes, he has a sin. Yes, he is battling with an addiction. Yes, he has a problem. But you know what, he has a lot of good as well. And I testify he has that good as well. He's being punished as he's being whipped. And the profitsystem says, I testify he loves Allah and His Messenger dear Muslims, if this hadith does not give me hope, if it doesn't give you hope, what will give you hope that is all of us. Right there. We have our sins we have our battles, we have our demons that we're all dealing

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with, but in sha Allah who to Allah if we continue to strive if we continue to pray to make us that far, if we continue to make up for that sin with positives that we wouldn't do otherwise, then perhaps just perhaps we can be in that state where Yes, I have some sins Yes, I ask Allah is forgiveness but inshallah as well Allah will see that I do have a love of a love. I do have a love of the messenger and Allah azza wa jal will forgive those sins. Allah says in the Quran, Julio Riba dear lady in a Seraph Radha and foresee him LA or la toma Rahmatullah in Allah yo Fuu, by Jamia all my servants who have sinned against themselves, do not give up hope in the mercy of Allah. Allah

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forgives all sins, all sins, turn to Allah and Allah shall forgive your sins. May Allah bless me and you with her through the Quran, and may make us of those who is versus understand and applies How does and how long throughout our lifespan. I ask all those forgiveness who was will ask him for his love of food and the ramen.

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hamdulillah Hilda hadn't had a summit. Let me tell you that while I'm your co founder, Eduardo, Judas, these are the seven points that I have summarized in this notebook. And before I conclude, it is important and useful to mention one particular Hadith that is very, very inspiring to all of us. It's not authentic It is reported in October Ronnie and edited by happy that our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, Ma'am in Abdi movement in Illa, Allah who is ammonia utter Jew, there is not a single believer, or you can also translate it there are so many believers who they have a sin, that they're addicted to this idea of them being yeah tied to who are them that is an either or

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them. That is a habit. Yeah. tardieu a sin that is constantly afflicting him. Minh delphina t Delfino, I'll find it but I will find every occasion or every once in a while he will slip and fall into the sin. And the Prophet sallallahu Sallam said I will them been who are more Ki Moon Allah. He

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Now you find people who tell you father padonia, or he might have a sin that he is addicted to, and he never stops doing it until he leaves this world. There is a possibility that a person has this sin a movement as a sin that every once in a while he does or maybe even he does it continuously until he leaves this world and then the Prophet system gave us hope. We're in the MENA hola como fatten interweb and NASA, the Kira Dakar and the believer has been created and he mentioned three characteristics, more factor now. Always subjugated to fitna miskeen will lie every time some fitna happens and it's a fitna for us. Whatever our fitna is the believer is created to be the source of

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fitna fitna happens amongst the believer to the believer. So we are the source that always happens to love and constantly doing Toba after the fitna, he does Stober after the fitna he comes back to Allah subhanho wa Taala NASA and constantly forgetting forgetting what forgetting the promise of a law forgetting the commandments of Allah, forgetting that he made a promise to Allah not to come back. nasaan he constantly forgets by forgetfulness means he slips up just like Allah says in the Quran that we made. Adam promise for nursia Adam for God, the promise by forgot doesn't mean he literally forgot. It means he forgot the severity of the promise. He knew it was wrong, but he still

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did what he did. Our father Adam is our role model. He is our Father in the end of the day. He is our father, our Father, Adam was told everything Hello, just one tree how long still he went to that tree and he ate from it. And still Allah forgave him. That is the role model for us. Sometimes we slip shaitaan comes and causes us to slip so we constantly turned back to Allah in Luke Kira Dakar as a prophet sallallahu Sallam said when he is reminded when he's reminded This is a sin. When he's reminded to turn back to Allah Lakota. He wakes up and he takes that remembrance and tries to turn over a new leaf. Therefore brothers and sisters, the summary of this entire football is very simple.

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Regardless of your sins, try to be a good person and constantly constantly ask Allah is still follow and try to take that sin and overcome it. And as you're overcoming it be extra charitable and extra good and extra salah and extra zeca and perhaps just perhaps you will overcome your sin and even if you don't overcome it, in that struggle, and in that attempt to be a better person, that is our only hope of salvation like our father, the mother has said I'm making so make dua along with me Allah indeed. Aminu Allahu Allah Tada. Now if you hadn't Yomi them and Illa Fatah what ahem Manila for Raja What are they in in LA Bonita? What am I do on English or feta? Whether I see it on ilaya SATA.

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