TaSeel #45

Yaser Birjas

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Channel: Yaser Birjas

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The speakers discuss the concept of mutual interaction during wedding ceremony, including insha'am, inshaunity, and equal treatment. They emphasize the importance of providing and provision to avoid being treated unfairly and finding a way to control the situation and avoid mistakes. The speakers also discuss the importance of physical discipline, avoiding physical harm, and not touching one's body until dry. The concept of destination and the importance of not harming others in a given area is emphasized.

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So tonight

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we have been going slowly in this list

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of, what Imam Ibn Qudam

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is mentioning as the etiquette of mutual interaction

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between husband and wife. So tonight, there's kind

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of some of those heavy points that we

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need to explain a little bit, InshaAllah Ta'ala,

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in more in a little bit more details.

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So, at least we we clarify

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a short statement

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and what does it mean exactly in the

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in the, the practice of the din, inshallah,

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wazhu jal. So, with that being said, we're

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gonna be starting inshallah from point number 8,

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I believe. We finished number 7 last last

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week. Right? So we're gonna start from,

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point number 8, inshaAllah.

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Follows.

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Equal treatment,

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with multiple.

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This pertains to sleeping with them and giving

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them things, not to love, hope, and intercourse,

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as that is not in his hands.

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If he travels and wishes that one of

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them accompanies him, he should draw lots. Whoever

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wins goes with him.

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Of the many etiquettes that needs to be

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observed between a husband and wife, he said,

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if this person has multiple wives,

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equal treatment. What is required over here

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is. So if someone has multiple wives, is

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obligation upon this person to have,

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that equal,

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our Adil, I would say,

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Not necessarily to have equal

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treatment in the sense that they have to

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be all in the same way, but it

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has to be actually even,

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meaning everybody gets what they need from their

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spouse. And what does that exactly mean here?

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So he explained in a few in few

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things. He

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says this is basically his pretense to sleeping

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with them and giving, getting them things. As

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a matter of fact, the translation actually is

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wrong

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because it's not about sleeping with them, it's

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about al mabid, which means sleeping in the

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house with them. That's what it means, like

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as long as you stay in the in

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the house with them. So do they have

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to sleep in the same bed? Can they

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sleep in different beds, in different rooms? Obviously

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that's not expected because if you're married you

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need to be together.

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But al mabid over here is that you

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spend you spend the night in their place.

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So for example, if you had multiple places,

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multiple homes, multiple apartments,

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each has its own apartment. In this case,

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the person is obligated to,

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make sure

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that you alternate

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the time where you spend the night. So

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one night here, one night there, every other

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night, and so on.

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And we're gonna talk about a little bit

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more in details, but I'm just gonna go

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over the statement as he mentioned here

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So the first thing is al Mabeet, which

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means spending the night in their place.

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The second, al-'Ata.

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Al-'Ata means nafaka over here, means what he

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spends and how he provides

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for them.

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So, and that's also in terms of adil

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and justice. Again, not equal treatment. The word

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equal treatment actually, it's kinda a little bit,

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yeah and confusing and it's not it's maybe

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deceiving even because it's not about equal, it's

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about even. What does that mean? So it

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comes to given, the ulama they say,

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it's according to what is customary.

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So if you have a wife that has

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5 kids and one has no kids for

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example, you're not gonna give them equal

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but you're going to give them what is

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even.

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So the one who has 5 children, definitely

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she's going to get more in terms of

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number, in terms of figure than the one

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who has no kids yet.

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So therefore, it has to be an even

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way. Similarly, when it comes to also providing

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for them, let's say, the the the place,

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home. So if you have if you have

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a family with children,

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maybe more or less, so therefore an apartment

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of 2 2 bedroom apartment versus for example,

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3 bedroom apartment or a house for instance,

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as long as it's considered equitable

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but not necessarily equal.

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So that's what the meaning of adil would

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come to the in fact over here.

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It's not going to be in terms of

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love

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or intercourse,

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intimacy.

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So in terms of love, this is the

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inclination of the heart

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and no one can really control that no

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matter how much you try, no one can

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control that. And even there was a there

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was a narration from Aisha

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Ima bin Hazm

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he reported

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that the prophet

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he used

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to used to divide the financial

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provision

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between his wife, so he gives them allowances

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basically.

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And then he would say,

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You Allah, this is my division and what

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I have control over.

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Don't hold me accountable for

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what I cannot control. He means by that

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the inclination of the heart because it's known

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to all of us that the prophet sallallahu

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alaihi wasallam's

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he loved Aisha

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more than any other wife.

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As for the subject of intercourse, now that's

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obviously it's a matter of,

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it's a matter what you call it basically,

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it's a matter of nature.

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You know, sometimes the lady herself not interested

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in that often, for example. Just because you

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have to sleep with your spouse, for example,

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one night, doesn't have to happen that you

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have to intercourse the next night with the

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other wife. It's a matter of,

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of nature. So if she if she, for

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example, had the desire for it, then you

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need to fulfill that. And some might have

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more need for intercourse than others. So it's

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a matter of fulfilling their needs, that's what

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it what it means over here. Not a

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matter of you don't have to have it

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in the same equal number of nights and

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so forth.

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Because you cannot control that, that's not in

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your in your hand. So if he travels,

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now what about traveling?

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So when it comes to travel he says,

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and and wish that one of them accompanies

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him, he should draw lots. That's what the

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prophet salallahu alaihi wasalam used to do. But

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prior to drawing lots, the prophet

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used to ask them first.

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He would say, who wants to travel with

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me?

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And if he had more than what he

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can take with him,

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then he would draw a lot amongst those

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who chose to go out with him.

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But if for example Aaruf his wife, salallahu

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alayhi,

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none of them wanted to go out

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except for Aisha for example. That's it. She

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goes,

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but if there were 5 of them and

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he only could take 2 or 3 for

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example in this case then he had to

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draw out between the 5 and whoever Sahmaha

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Yakhrooj, anyone that actually wins that, she goes

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out with the prophet sallallahu ta'alaahu

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wa salamu alayhi

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and whosoever wins goes out with him. Now,

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let's talk about this whole concept of being

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equatable versus equal treatment.

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Allah

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says in regards to those who choose to

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do so,

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the subject of having multiple wives, obviously.

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And I know in our society today,

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this has a negative connotation, people have actually

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lot of, controversy over the meaning of it

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and so forth. We can't deny that it's

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mentioned in the Quran and and it practice

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in the sunnah of the prophet salallahu alaihi

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wa sallam. And it's not just an Islamic

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thing, it's also actually considered in the the

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the old testament,

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as well,

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and mentioned by about the Ambiya, the prophets

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from before. So it's more like a religious

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thing

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along the line of of the book that

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was revealed from heavens.

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So here, when the prophet

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was given this command or at least given

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this permission in the Quran, Allah subhanahu wa

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ta'ala says, for the people,

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And Surat An Nasir, Allah subhanahu wa'ala at

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the very beginning,

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he said if you if you fear that

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you'll be unfair and unjust to the orphan

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girls,

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then you could you can marry

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2, 3 up to 4,

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up to 4. And then he says

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but if you fear injustice

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that you're not gonna be fair to them,

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he says,

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I heard that from one of the ulema

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saying that look, in the Quran,

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the command to marry was only to marry

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1.

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The command to marry was only to marry

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1.

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But gave the permission to marry multiple ones,

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more than 1,

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not as a commandment over here.

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And, and Allah

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says also

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And you will not be able to be

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fair or at least be completely

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in that sense

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always create create being being

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keeping them equal. What a haras tom even

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if you are keen to do that.

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And the realm of tafsir, they say this

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I refers to what? Which part of the

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treatment that is considered here that no matter

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how much you try would never be give

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them equal treatment in that regard? The inclination

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of the heart. No matter how much you

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try

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So don't make your incarnation extreme

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to one that you leave the other one

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hanging on there with no with no actual

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connection with her. That would be injustice.

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If someone has 2 wives, he

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said

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If a person on the day of judgement

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if if a person has 2 wives and

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on the day of judgement he would come

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and he wasn't fair to them in this

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dunya,

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his shoulder, one of his sides will be

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actually falling,

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like he will be falling on one side.

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So can you imagine seeing people on the

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day of judgment everybody standing straight and somebody

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just actually is kind of like falling to

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the side?

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What's wrong with you? What what happened to

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your, the other half?

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Well, he wasn't fair to his wife.

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So that's very extreme important to to keep

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in mind.

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Now, what does it mean to have that

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equiviral treatment for the wife? So the ulama,

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they say, there are certain categories. Number 1,

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ataamul,

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meaning how you deal with them.

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And dealing with them, obviously, it means, you

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know, kind of like you're you're, giving them

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time,

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being there for them available when they need

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it and so on. So they're basically kinda

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like giving them almost as much as you

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can of what they need. Because some of

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them, for example, needs more time to listen

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to her than other ones. Someone needs, for

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example, more physical help around than others. So

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try to be equitable in that regard.

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The second category is the mfaq,

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providing and provision

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and that something is measurable, so easy to

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calculate.

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How much this household needs versus this household?

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So as long as you provide for them

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equitable amount that they needed for each, you

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should be fine

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Al Mabeet, like we said, to alternate in

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terms of where you spend the night.

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Are you allowed to visit, you know, the

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other household during the day? Of course. The

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prophet used to sometimes go around the all

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his households,

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during the day. Like in one day he

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would visit everybody

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but then of course at night he will

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spend the night in the house where her

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turn would be. And sometimes the wife of

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the prophet

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they know that he will be sending the

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he will be spending the evening in someone's

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house, one of those wives, so they all

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gather over there.

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They all get together and they start chatting,

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chitcharing and talking whatever, maybe bekaring

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But eventually,

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at the end of the of the evening,

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kalas, they go back again to, to their

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places. There was a moment

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in the hadith that Aisha

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said that, kind of Rasulullah,

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one of those nights they were gathering in

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the house of

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the prophet

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and that night was the night for Aisha.

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Like, he's supposed to spend the night with

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Aisha.

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So naturally, as the prophet was speaking,

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he's a very affectionate person. So he's a

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touchy feeling person. So

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he extended his hand to hold the hand

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of Zaynab,

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either of Zaynab or Salamah.

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So Aisha,

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she glanced as she saw that, she goes,

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that's Zaynab.

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Like, basically,

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like, look, it's my night, so

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you can't do this. So the prophet put

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his hand back

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like

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he complied.

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Meaning, you know what? Fair enough. Yeah. That's

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your night. It's alright. So,

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again, the idea is that everything has to

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be equal.

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No. It's not in the matter of being

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equal. It's a matter of being equitable

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and everybody will be, inshaAllah, satisfied with the

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provisions given to them. Also,

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in terms of a masknequin,

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like providing the house for them or the

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shelter,

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So like we said, some for example,

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has

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a higher number of kids for example, they

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have 3 kids, 2 kids, 5 kids, whatever.

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So naturally, it would require maybe a bigger

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space,

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which means when you're gonna have to have

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a bigger space, that means you're gonna be

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probably financially providing what?

00:12:37--> 00:12:39

Maybe spending more.

00:12:39--> 00:12:40

So if you say, if you're going to

00:12:40--> 00:12:42

spend 5,000 over here, does it mean I'm

00:12:42--> 00:12:44

going to have to spend 5,000 over there?

00:12:45--> 00:12:45

Not necessarily.

00:12:46--> 00:12:47

But spending enough

00:12:48--> 00:12:49

enough, you know, amount

00:12:49--> 00:12:51

that will be equitable to for the other

00:12:51--> 00:12:53

person, alhamdulillah, if it had been taken care

00:12:53--> 00:12:55

of as well, inshallah, tabarakat'ala.

00:12:57--> 00:12:59

Now, like imam Ibn Qudam

00:12:59--> 00:13:01

mentioned in terms of travelling, you first of

00:13:01--> 00:13:03

all give them the option. Do you wanna

00:13:03--> 00:13:04

come with me? And if they say, no

00:13:04--> 00:13:07

I don't want to, you're relieved of the

00:13:07--> 00:13:09

duty. But if they both wanted to come

00:13:09--> 00:13:10

out and you don't you can't afford taking

00:13:10--> 00:13:12

both so you're gonna have to alternate the

00:13:12--> 00:13:13

trips.

00:13:13--> 00:13:15

So this time we may withdraw lots for

00:13:15--> 00:13:16

example. And in this case

00:13:17--> 00:13:19

whoever comes out is theirs and the next

00:13:19--> 00:13:21

time will be for the other person inshallahootabaraka.

00:13:23--> 00:13:26

Now, once again regarding the intimacy, that's a

00:13:26--> 00:13:26

matter of desire.

00:13:27--> 00:13:28

There is no,

00:13:28--> 00:13:30

there is no way to control that in

00:13:30--> 00:13:33

terms of saying number of instances and number

00:13:33--> 00:13:35

of nights and so on. Now, does it

00:13:35--> 00:13:38

have to be alternating every night, like every

00:13:38--> 00:13:40

single night you go to sleep somewhere else.

00:13:41--> 00:13:43

It depends on the circumstances. What does that

00:13:43--> 00:13:43

mean?

00:13:44--> 00:13:45

If the distance between

00:13:46--> 00:13:48

the households or these wives, for example, is

00:13:48--> 00:13:50

a driving distance, not that not of a

00:13:50--> 00:13:52

big deal, then it's easy to say to

00:13:52--> 00:13:53

alternate every night,

00:13:54--> 00:13:55

every other night, basically.

00:13:56--> 00:13:57

But if you say no, it's actually it's

00:13:57--> 00:13:58

a long drive

00:13:59--> 00:14:01

or maybe it's even a flight. So in

00:14:01--> 00:14:02

this case they have to come to an

00:14:02--> 00:14:04

an agreement that they all agreed to.

00:14:05--> 00:14:07

Like every week, every month, every other week,

00:14:07--> 00:14:09

as long as there's a mutual agreement between

00:14:09--> 00:14:11

the parties over here, then it should be

00:14:11--> 00:14:12

okay, insha Allahu,

00:14:13--> 00:14:15

again, and that which is considered

00:14:15--> 00:14:16

equitable.

00:14:16--> 00:14:19

Now, is this for everybody? The answer is

00:14:19--> 00:14:19

no.

00:14:21--> 00:14:23

Definitely, it's actually it's a it's a practical

00:14:23--> 00:14:26

solution to a real problem that exists in

00:14:26--> 00:14:27

other in the society.

00:14:28--> 00:14:30

So, if that if that need exists, then

00:14:30--> 00:14:33

definitely they should promotion for this. But whoever

00:14:33--> 00:14:34

is intending on doing that, they need to

00:14:34--> 00:14:35

fear Allah

00:14:35--> 00:14:37

knowing that Allah in the Quran said,

00:14:39--> 00:14:42

you won't be able to have that kind

00:14:42--> 00:14:44

of equal feeling towards one towards everyone.

00:14:44--> 00:14:46

So you need to be careful that you

00:14:46--> 00:14:47

don't stand on the day of judgment before

00:14:47--> 00:14:48

Allah

00:14:49--> 00:14:52

with one side falling because of being unfair

00:14:52--> 00:14:54

to your spouse. So that's the the the

00:14:54--> 00:14:56

point I wanted to explain insha Allahu Ta'ala

00:14:56--> 00:14:58

on number 8. Number 9.

00:14:59--> 00:15:01

Disciplining the rebellious wife. The

00:15:02--> 00:15:04

husband is allowed to discipline her and to

00:15:04--> 00:15:07

obey him. However, he should proceed with this

00:15:07--> 00:15:08

gradually by admonishing

00:15:09--> 00:15:11

and warning her first.

00:15:12--> 00:15:13

Turning his back to her or sleeping separately

00:15:13--> 00:15:14

without speaking to her. The period of doing

00:15:14--> 00:15:15

so should not exceed 3 days. If this

00:15:15--> 00:15:16

does not work, he stays away from her

00:15:16--> 00:15:16

at night by turning his back to her

00:15:16--> 00:15:16

or sleeping separately without speaking to her. The

00:15:16--> 00:15:16

period of doing so should not exceed 3

00:15:16--> 00:15:17

days. If this does not work, he

00:15:27--> 00:15:28

which means that he must not make her

00:15:28--> 00:15:30

bleed or strike her face.

00:15:32--> 00:15:34

This is one, of course, of course, this

00:15:34--> 00:15:36

is very, sensitive topics, especially in our time

00:15:36--> 00:15:37

as well too.

00:15:37--> 00:15:38

And nushus.

00:15:38--> 00:15:40

So, first of all, let's define what's concerned

00:15:40--> 00:15:42

nushus. When it comes to the subject of

00:15:42--> 00:15:44

nushus, as it has been here mentioned, a

00:15:44--> 00:15:45

rebellious wife.

00:15:45--> 00:15:48

The dilemma they define neshuus is obviously if

00:15:48--> 00:15:51

the lady, for example, she, shows defiance

00:15:52--> 00:15:55

to the extent that causes, the relationship to

00:15:55--> 00:15:56

become dysfunctional.

00:15:56--> 00:15:57

So, in this case,

00:15:58--> 00:16:00

if that's in regard to the hukuk of

00:16:00--> 00:16:02

the husband, In regard to the of the

00:16:02--> 00:16:04

husband and what she owes him.

00:16:04--> 00:16:06

But what if for example the husband, he

00:16:06--> 00:16:08

ordered her with things that are not considered

00:16:08--> 00:16:11

her his wajib on her. For example, if

00:16:11--> 00:16:13

the husband tells wife to wash his car,

00:16:13--> 00:16:15

does she have to obey that?

00:16:17--> 00:16:18

Because of doubting this?

00:16:19--> 00:16:20

If you tell her I wanted to wash

00:16:20--> 00:16:21

my car outside,

00:16:22--> 00:16:23

is that a duty for the wife to

00:16:23--> 00:16:25

do for her husband? Not necessarily.

00:16:26--> 00:16:27

If she wants to do it out of

00:16:27--> 00:16:28

her graciousness, it's a halakhir.

00:16:29--> 00:16:30

If she knows how to do that, she

00:16:30--> 00:16:32

wants to do it for him, that's fine.

00:16:32--> 00:16:33

But if she said no,

00:16:34--> 00:16:35

does that qualify now

00:16:36--> 00:16:38

as an Oshus that he's gonna go right

00:16:38--> 00:16:39

now and and and start, you know, kind

00:16:39--> 00:16:42

of going through the gradual disciplinary actions against

00:16:42--> 00:16:43

his wife? The answer is no, of course

00:16:43--> 00:16:43

not.

00:16:44--> 00:16:46

But we're talking about what is concerned haqwazoj.

00:16:47--> 00:16:48

So for example, to take care of the

00:16:48--> 00:16:49

the the

00:16:49--> 00:16:50

chores of the house,

00:16:51--> 00:16:54

in terms of obedience to obey Allah Subhanahu

00:16:54--> 00:16:56

Wa Ta'ala comes to the ibadah and salah,

00:16:56--> 00:16:59

doing what is his concern, what is Allah

00:16:59--> 00:17:01

made obligatory upon her towards her husband and

00:17:01--> 00:17:02

to his household.

00:17:02--> 00:17:05

If she now defies those rules,

00:17:06--> 00:17:07

and for example, she's always out,

00:17:08--> 00:17:09

and when she comes she doesn't do her,

00:17:10--> 00:17:12

her duty towards her household, for instance, in

00:17:12--> 00:17:13

this in this regard, does the husband has

00:17:13--> 00:17:15

the right to say, look, listen, you're not

00:17:15--> 00:17:16

doing

00:17:17--> 00:17:18

your job at home right now.

00:17:19--> 00:17:20

I'm trying my best, I'm helping out, this

00:17:20--> 00:17:22

and that, but you're not doing your part.

00:17:22--> 00:17:23

Does he have the right to go right

00:17:23--> 00:17:26

now and call this conservative neshu? Again, neshu

00:17:26--> 00:17:29

is when the disobedience and the defiance because

00:17:29--> 00:17:30

cause the relationship to be dysfunctional,

00:17:31--> 00:17:33

does it allow the husband to go into

00:17:33--> 00:17:35

this disciplinary action?

00:17:35--> 00:17:37

So the answer is is yes by the

00:17:37--> 00:17:39

mass of the Quran. But why and how

00:17:39--> 00:17:40

is that?

00:17:41--> 00:17:42

As for the why,

00:17:42--> 00:17:44

Islamically speaking, you

00:17:45--> 00:17:47

know, since the man is and

00:17:48--> 00:17:48

being

00:17:49--> 00:17:51

comes with the authority as Allah subhanahu says

00:17:52--> 00:17:54

which means he is the one who's responsible,

00:17:54--> 00:17:56

he's the authority of the house. So being

00:17:56--> 00:17:58

the authority of the house obviously

00:17:59--> 00:18:01

is responsible to keep the order in the

00:18:01--> 00:18:03

household. If the if the order now is

00:18:03--> 00:18:04

being disturbed,

00:18:05--> 00:18:06

and then in this case you need to

00:18:06--> 00:18:08

bring it back to order by taking these

00:18:08--> 00:18:10

disciplinary actions, whether it's from the children or

00:18:10--> 00:18:11

from the spouse.

00:18:12--> 00:18:14

Just like the court has the right to

00:18:14--> 00:18:14

discipline

00:18:15--> 00:18:17

the the members of the society because their

00:18:17--> 00:18:18

authority over the society,

00:18:19--> 00:18:21

so the man is considered the the authority

00:18:21--> 00:18:23

in the household that's why Akshay is being

00:18:23--> 00:18:27

given the right to that, disciplinary action in

00:18:27--> 00:18:27

the household.

00:18:28--> 00:18:30

Now, so he's the one who is executing

00:18:30--> 00:18:31

these rules just like the court does it

00:18:31--> 00:18:33

physically in the society.

00:18:33--> 00:18:36

However, there's no doubt there are specific rules

00:18:36--> 00:18:37

for this.

00:18:37--> 00:18:38

And what does that exactly mean? So, I'm

00:18:38--> 00:18:40

gonna go over the words of the statement

00:18:40--> 00:18:43

of the paragraph and then explain it InshaAllah.

00:18:43--> 00:18:44

So, he says over here,

00:18:47--> 00:18:49

if the shoes was from the wife

00:18:50--> 00:18:52

then what does that even mean? That doesn't

00:18:52--> 00:18:54

mean that the husband or the man can

00:18:54--> 00:18:55

also be in ashes.

00:18:56--> 00:18:58

Nushus, again, remember, nushus means rebellion, right? So

00:18:59--> 00:19:01

rebellious wife. So if he says if the

00:19:01--> 00:19:03

nushuz was from the wife, does it mean

00:19:03--> 00:19:05

that the nushuz can be also from the

00:19:05--> 00:19:05

man?

00:19:06--> 00:19:07

Can he be also

00:19:08--> 00:19:09

rebellious

00:19:09--> 00:19:11

that he's not doing his wife's hookuk, he's

00:19:11--> 00:19:14

not spending, he's limiting her, restricting for example

00:19:14--> 00:19:17

her ryani, her rights and he's not being

00:19:17--> 00:19:20

intimate with her for a very long time

00:19:20--> 00:19:21

with no apparent reason.

00:19:21--> 00:19:23

All these kind of Does that mean that

00:19:23--> 00:19:24

the man becoming right now nashis?

00:19:25--> 00:19:26

The answer is

00:19:26--> 00:19:27

yes. It's in the Quran.

00:19:28--> 00:19:30

The word nashuz was mentioned in the Quran

00:19:30--> 00:19:31

twice in Surat Al Nisa,

00:19:32--> 00:19:34

ayah number chapter 4, ayah number 34

00:19:35--> 00:19:37

in regard to the, neshush of the woman

00:19:38--> 00:19:39

and ayah number 128

00:19:39--> 00:19:41

in regard to the neshush of the man.

00:19:41--> 00:19:43

So the neshush of the woman,

00:19:43--> 00:19:44

the ad, the very famous ad that everybody

00:19:44--> 00:19:46

actually calls in that regard as Allah

00:19:53--> 00:19:54

The man he says

00:20:02--> 00:20:04

If the lady she fears from her husband

00:20:04--> 00:20:04

rebellion,

00:20:05--> 00:20:05

rejection.

00:20:10--> 00:20:11

There is no harm for them to reach

00:20:11--> 00:20:12

a settlement.

00:20:13--> 00:20:14

So Allah has spoke about it, but that's

00:20:14--> 00:20:16

not what he's speaking about in this paragraph

00:20:16--> 00:20:17

over here. So he says, says, if we're

00:20:17--> 00:20:19

talking about the rebellion from the wife,

00:20:20--> 00:20:22

he has a right to discipline

00:20:22--> 00:20:24

and justice his his family's household.

00:20:27--> 00:20:28

This was not mentioned actually in the translation

00:20:28--> 00:20:30

over here because we use the word

00:20:32--> 00:20:34

means actually he has the right to allow

00:20:34--> 00:20:36

to discipline her to obey him.

00:20:37--> 00:20:37

Here, means

00:20:39--> 00:20:41

actually he's allowed to take her to court.

00:20:42--> 00:20:44

He allowed he's allowed to take her to

00:20:44--> 00:20:44

court

00:20:45--> 00:20:47

to force her to do her duties for

00:20:47--> 00:20:49

the household if she wants to see if

00:20:49--> 00:20:50

she wants to stay in the marriage.

00:20:51--> 00:20:52

Like, if she wants to stay married to

00:20:52--> 00:20:53

him

00:20:53--> 00:20:55

but she doesn't want to take care of

00:20:55--> 00:20:56

the household at all, she doesn't want to

00:20:56--> 00:20:58

give him his huku, for example, then why

00:20:58--> 00:20:59

are you staying then?

00:21:00--> 00:21:01

But if she wants to stay

00:21:02--> 00:21:04

but she still refuses to fulfill her duties

00:21:04--> 00:21:05

towards her husband and her household,

00:21:06--> 00:21:07

he has a right to take it actually

00:21:07--> 00:21:10

kohra. Now, obviously that's after he himself first

00:21:10--> 00:21:11

start with the

00:21:12--> 00:21:13

discipline actions

00:21:13--> 00:21:15

on his own first. So, how does that?

00:21:15--> 00:21:15

He said,

00:21:16--> 00:21:18

It has to be gradual.

00:21:18--> 00:21:19

The first thing,

00:21:19--> 00:21:20

so to give

00:21:21--> 00:21:23

which means a reminder, admonishment, like the Taqandla,

00:21:23--> 00:21:25

Imra'a, this is not allowed. Listen, this is

00:21:25--> 00:21:27

very dangerous for Allah, that's not good for

00:21:27--> 00:21:29

us. So he speaks about that of course

00:21:29--> 00:21:30

from that perspective.

00:21:30--> 00:21:32

So if that didn't work out, then,

00:21:33--> 00:21:35

then he goes to Al Hajjul. Al Hajjul

00:21:35--> 00:21:37

means to abandon her bed, boy cutting her

00:21:37--> 00:21:39

bed. Now the elema they say, in order

00:21:39--> 00:21:42

for this to be effective obviously, it needs

00:21:42--> 00:21:43

to be in the same bed.

00:21:43--> 00:21:45

Like you're you're sleeping on the same bed

00:21:45--> 00:21:48

but you're turning your back to each other.

00:21:48--> 00:21:49

Like as if you're kinda like saying look

00:21:49--> 00:21:51

I know that you're there but it hurts

00:21:51--> 00:21:53

me to be in this position with you.

00:21:53--> 00:21:54

I don't wanna be in like this with

00:21:54--> 00:21:56

you. So that would be it. If that

00:21:56--> 00:21:58

would if that's not

00:21:58--> 00:22:00

helping at all, then in this case, is

00:22:00--> 00:22:00

he allowed to

00:22:01--> 00:22:03

go to a different room? Possible.

00:22:04--> 00:22:06

Although that's not what they recommend. However, the

00:22:06--> 00:22:07

prophet says in the hadith

00:22:09--> 00:22:10

If you're gonna boycott or if you're gonna

00:22:10--> 00:22:12

abandon your wife's bed,

00:22:12--> 00:22:13

stay in the house.

00:22:14--> 00:22:16

Don't go out to go to hotel or

00:22:16--> 00:22:18

different place unless of course the situation is

00:22:18--> 00:22:19

very toxic

00:22:19--> 00:22:21

to the extent that it might become dangerous.

00:22:22--> 00:22:23

Kal,

00:22:23--> 00:22:24

and

00:22:25--> 00:22:27

if he needs to boycott her and not

00:22:27--> 00:22:29

talk to her then no more than 3

00:22:29--> 00:22:30

days 3 nights.

00:22:30--> 00:22:31

Means you need to come back again, try

00:22:31--> 00:22:33

to negotiate and talk and see what you

00:22:33--> 00:22:35

could do after that.

00:22:36--> 00:22:38

If that wasn't beneficial, he said, that's when

00:22:38--> 00:22:40

he chastised her or disciplined her physically.

00:22:41--> 00:22:42

However, they said

00:22:46--> 00:22:48

that this actually should not

00:22:48--> 00:22:50

cause any form of injury.

00:22:51--> 00:22:54

Now, according to Shafi'i's opinion, they say if

00:22:54--> 00:22:55

the husband,

00:22:56--> 00:22:56

he,

00:22:56--> 00:22:57

transgressed

00:22:58--> 00:22:58

and

00:22:59--> 00:23:01

he left any marks on her body,

00:23:01--> 00:23:03

she has a right to sue him actually

00:23:03--> 00:23:04

for it and ask for compensation.

00:23:06--> 00:23:07

Can you imagine that?

00:23:08--> 00:23:10

And, subhanallah, sometimes, you know, that it's the

00:23:10--> 00:23:12

the the skin is easy to to to,

00:23:13--> 00:23:15

to show marks. So So this is basically

00:23:15--> 00:23:17

show that the man was excessive, no matter

00:23:17--> 00:23:19

what. As for how it how it works,

00:23:19--> 00:23:21

so the ulama, they put the rules for

00:23:21--> 00:23:23

what does it mean exactly here. First of

00:23:23--> 00:23:26

all, let's remember one more time, this is

00:23:26--> 00:23:28

about his hukuk.

00:23:29--> 00:23:31

So, if she's becoming defiant to the extent

00:23:31--> 00:23:33

that Russia Russia become dysfunctional

00:23:33--> 00:23:35

in in regard to the hukuk and the

00:23:35--> 00:23:36

rights of the husband and the household.

00:23:37--> 00:23:38

Not just because,

00:23:38--> 00:23:39

you know,

00:23:39--> 00:23:42

he didn't like the meal, for example, or,

00:23:42--> 00:23:43

I don't like, you know, how you put

00:23:43--> 00:23:45

this here or put there for instance.

00:23:46--> 00:23:47

You know what, just move this here, move

00:23:47--> 00:23:49

this. This is not the reason for people

00:23:50--> 00:23:52

to, to be like that. Otherwise, they will

00:23:52--> 00:23:53

be considered actually a violation.

00:23:54--> 00:23:56

And also in regard to

00:23:57--> 00:23:59

you only obey in that which is considered

00:23:59--> 00:24:00

equitable.

00:24:00--> 00:24:02

So like we said, if it's known for

00:24:02--> 00:24:03

the wife, for example, to cook for the

00:24:03--> 00:24:05

husband and she say if he tells her,

00:24:05--> 00:24:06

could you please, you know, make me a

00:24:06--> 00:24:08

cup of tea? And she goes, go do

00:24:08--> 00:24:08

it yourself.

00:24:09--> 00:24:12

You know, she's busy. That's fine. I understand.

00:24:12--> 00:24:13

But if this is the case, every time

00:24:13--> 00:24:15

I just like, wait a minute. What does

00:24:15--> 00:24:17

that exactly mean? Are you telling me that,

00:24:17--> 00:24:19

you know what, you don't want to serve

00:24:19--> 00:24:21

your husband? And that becomes, you know, too

00:24:21--> 00:24:23

much to ask for and it becomes right

00:24:23--> 00:24:25

now because of fitna in the household,

00:24:25--> 00:24:27

then that could become an issue that needs

00:24:27--> 00:24:28

to be now addressed in the relationship.

00:24:31--> 00:24:32

Now, the prophet

00:24:32--> 00:24:34

gave us general rules

00:24:34--> 00:24:35

and especially

00:24:35--> 00:24:38

in the last sermon when he was on

00:24:38--> 00:24:38

the

00:24:39--> 00:24:41

Araf when he said to the people,

00:24:43--> 00:24:44

He goes, I advise you, I admonish you

00:24:44--> 00:24:46

in regard to your women.

00:24:47--> 00:24:49

They are like captives in your household,

00:24:49--> 00:24:51

and you have taken them by the name

00:24:51--> 00:24:52

of Allah

00:24:55--> 00:24:57

You also you made halal

00:24:57--> 00:24:59

to you to be intimate with them

00:25:00--> 00:25:01

through the name of Allah

00:25:01--> 00:25:03

which is an Ika and the Ijab and

00:25:03--> 00:25:04

Kabul.

00:25:04--> 00:25:05

So the prophet

00:25:09--> 00:25:11

says, you have no authority over them or

00:25:11--> 00:25:14

actually no way to overpower them, he says,

00:25:17--> 00:25:19

unless you know that they've done something haram,

00:25:19--> 00:25:22

they've done something wrong, a violation over here.

00:25:22--> 00:25:24

He says, if this is the case, Fajrruhun,

00:25:25--> 00:25:26

try to avoid cut them.

00:25:29--> 00:25:30

And he says, you need to if you

00:25:30--> 00:25:33

discipline them, now in a way that does

00:25:33--> 00:25:34

not leave any harm.

00:25:36--> 00:25:38

If they obey and they comply,

00:25:40--> 00:25:43

don't you transgress against that. From this statement

00:25:43--> 00:25:45

the ulama they say that if

00:25:45--> 00:25:48

there's a need for that physical discipline,

00:25:48--> 00:25:49

it should be

00:25:52--> 00:25:53

It's not a matter of revenge.

00:25:54--> 00:25:55

It's not a matter of, you know, kind

00:25:55--> 00:25:57

of like stressing the authority as much as

00:25:58--> 00:26:00

would that cause her to comply

00:26:01--> 00:26:02

and amend the affairs of the of the

00:26:02--> 00:26:04

relationship. And they say, if you know that

00:26:04--> 00:26:06

this is not gonna be helpful of anything,

00:26:06--> 00:26:08

it's gonna bring any no good, then not

00:26:08--> 00:26:09

even try.

00:26:10--> 00:26:11

Then don't even try.

00:26:11--> 00:26:12

Imam al

00:26:13--> 00:26:14

Shafi he said,

00:26:19--> 00:26:22

If he completely even disregarded that meaning completely

00:26:22--> 00:26:25

stayed away from physical discipline, that's even better

00:26:25--> 00:26:26

for me. So if I love that even

00:26:26--> 00:26:27

more. Why?

00:26:32--> 00:26:35

He says good men don't do that.

00:26:36--> 00:26:37

That statement came from the prophet

00:26:38--> 00:26:40

when some of the Ansari women, they complained

00:26:40--> 00:26:41

to the prophet

00:26:43--> 00:26:44

about some men being harsh and they're excessive

00:26:44--> 00:26:46

in regard to this matter, so the prophet

00:26:46--> 00:26:48

when he heard that he was surprised.

00:26:49--> 00:26:50

They do that?

00:26:52--> 00:26:53

They're not good men.

00:26:53--> 00:26:54

So, subhanAllah.

00:26:54--> 00:26:56

So even though the ayah is there So

00:26:56--> 00:26:57

what does it mean that when the prophet

00:26:58--> 00:26:59

when Allah says

00:27:00--> 00:27:02

So does it mean here Because the English

00:27:02--> 00:27:04

translation of almost every

00:27:04--> 00:27:05

translation you can find,

00:27:05--> 00:27:08

the English words are very harsh really and

00:27:08--> 00:27:10

they have negative connotations with them. So you

00:27:10--> 00:27:13

find some some translation says beat them. Some

00:27:13--> 00:27:14

they say strike.

00:27:15--> 00:27:17

So strike, beat, hit,

00:27:17--> 00:27:19

all these words come with negative connotation with

00:27:19--> 00:27:21

them in English. That's why when people read

00:27:21--> 00:27:23

that in the in the translation it actually

00:27:23--> 00:27:24

it's

00:27:24--> 00:27:24

infuriating

00:27:25--> 00:27:26

which is true.

00:27:26--> 00:27:28

But, if you read within the context of

00:27:28--> 00:27:29

the seerah and the sun of the prophet

00:27:29--> 00:27:31

salallahu alaihi wasallam and the meaning of it,

00:27:31--> 00:27:33

you understand that it's actually is not as

00:27:33--> 00:27:35

harsh as people think it is. Because if

00:27:35--> 00:27:36

it's not gonna cause

00:27:37--> 00:27:39

the compliance of the household or the or

00:27:39--> 00:27:41

the spouse, there's no meaning of it to

00:27:41--> 00:27:42

begin with. So you shouldn't be actually doing

00:27:42--> 00:27:43

the law.

00:27:44--> 00:27:46

And as for how it is performed,

00:27:47--> 00:27:48

it's performed the way the prophet

00:27:49--> 00:27:49

did it.

00:27:50--> 00:27:52

It's performed the way the prophet

00:27:52--> 00:27:54

did it. So, who can tell me how

00:27:54--> 00:27:55

the prophet did that?

00:27:59--> 00:28:01

The prophet did that?

00:28:03--> 00:28:04

How did the prophet did that, Ajima? How

00:28:04--> 00:28:06

did prophet discipline his wife?

00:28:06--> 00:28:07

Physically.

00:28:09--> 00:28:11

Bessiwak? He never did it,

00:28:12--> 00:28:14

Ajamal. What's wrong with you?

00:28:18--> 00:28:18

The prophet

00:28:19--> 00:28:20

never did it even though

00:28:22--> 00:28:24

this ayah is in the Quran

00:28:24--> 00:28:27

and this ayah was as the

00:28:27--> 00:28:28

says it's like

00:28:29--> 00:28:31

it's permissible to use physical discipline.

00:28:32--> 00:28:33

But the man who received this commandment

00:28:35--> 00:28:35

never did that.

00:28:36--> 00:28:38

Aisha Adelah, she mentioned in the hadith called

00:28:44--> 00:28:46

He said she said,

00:28:52--> 00:28:52

The prophet

00:28:53--> 00:28:56

never did that. He never did that for

00:28:56--> 00:28:56

a woman,

00:28:57--> 00:28:57

a slave,

00:28:58--> 00:29:00

except when he was fighting for the sake

00:29:00--> 00:29:00

of Allah

00:29:02--> 00:29:03

like aljadi sabillillah.

00:29:04--> 00:29:05

So if the prophet

00:29:06--> 00:29:08

he didn't do it and he said about

00:29:08--> 00:29:10

men who did that to be not good

00:29:10--> 00:29:11

men

00:29:13--> 00:29:16

then it's very obviously to avoid that

00:29:16--> 00:29:17

as much as possible.

00:29:18--> 00:29:19

Now some of the alam of tafsir, they

00:29:19--> 00:29:22

mentioned explanations from other sahaba like ibn Abbas.

00:29:22--> 00:29:24

So ibn Abbas he said,

00:29:27--> 00:29:29

You know the toothpick, the siwak?

00:29:30--> 00:29:32

How hurtful does it gonna be a jama'ah?

00:29:33--> 00:29:35

Does it cause any physical damage?

00:29:36--> 00:29:37

Absolutely not.

00:29:38--> 00:29:39

And even though some of the ulama they

00:29:39--> 00:29:41

put a condition even that if you're gonna

00:29:41--> 00:29:42

ever do that

00:29:42--> 00:29:44

never ever make your elbow go away from

00:29:44--> 00:29:45

your body.

00:29:46--> 00:29:48

What does that mean? Meaning, you don't raise

00:29:48--> 00:29:50

your you don't raise your arm above. Your

00:29:50--> 00:29:52

elbow shouldn't go up.

00:29:52--> 00:29:54

It's actually is right

00:29:55--> 00:29:57

on your body. So how much how how

00:29:57--> 00:29:57

strong

00:29:57--> 00:29:59

that strike is going to be anyway?

00:30:00--> 00:30:02

So then, what's the meaning of this ruling

00:30:02--> 00:30:03

then? If it's not really,

00:30:03--> 00:30:06

having any physical effect or anything, so what's

00:30:06--> 00:30:07

the point of it then? The point of

00:30:07--> 00:30:09

it is just it's it's a matter of

00:30:09--> 00:30:09

of,

00:30:11--> 00:30:14

like, the emotional, the emotional displeasure with one

00:30:14--> 00:30:16

another in that regard. That's all.

00:30:17--> 00:30:18

Today,

00:30:18--> 00:30:21

many many people unfortunately, they say that, look,

00:30:21--> 00:30:22

the Quran promotes physical

00:30:23--> 00:30:25

domestic violence because of this ayah.

00:30:25--> 00:30:27

Now, we have multiple answers to this. The

00:30:27--> 00:30:29

first thing is that the ayah itself,

00:30:30--> 00:30:32

it's not even though it comes in an

00:30:32--> 00:30:33

as a verb,

00:30:35--> 00:30:37

but the ulama is called as Irshad,

00:30:37--> 00:30:40

that fair Irshad. This is the Amr Irshad,

00:30:40--> 00:30:41

Laysa Ijab.

00:30:42--> 00:30:43

It's not mandatory,

00:30:43--> 00:30:45

it's not an obligation,

00:30:46--> 00:30:48

it's just an advice. So it's Irshad, which

00:30:48--> 00:30:50

means it's just kinda like a reminder

00:30:51--> 00:30:52

or an allowance.

00:30:53--> 00:30:55

How do we know that? Because again, the

00:30:55--> 00:30:57

one who received this, he himself

00:30:57--> 00:31:00

didn't do it and also he discouraged people

00:31:00--> 00:31:02

from doing it when he said they're not

00:31:02--> 00:31:02

good people.

00:31:03--> 00:31:04

So that's the thing, the first thing. The

00:31:04--> 00:31:05

second thing,

00:31:05--> 00:31:07

in itself, the way it was described,

00:31:08--> 00:31:10

it would never cause any harm physically.

00:31:11--> 00:31:12

So

00:31:12--> 00:31:13

that also,

00:31:14--> 00:31:15

takes it away.

00:31:15--> 00:31:17

The other thing is in regard to the,

00:31:19--> 00:31:21

the meaning of of darb over here,

00:31:21--> 00:31:22

obviously.

00:31:22--> 00:31:24

Some they try to

00:31:24--> 00:31:26

interpret that of saying stay away from them

00:31:26--> 00:31:28

or travel away from them and leave them

00:31:28--> 00:31:30

alone, but that's not actually what the what

00:31:30--> 00:31:31

the ayah is.

00:31:31--> 00:31:33

I know some people they try to be

00:31:33--> 00:31:34

apologetic about it but that's not what the

00:31:34--> 00:31:36

ayah is. In Arabic language,

00:31:36--> 00:31:38

none from the son of the prophet sallallahu

00:31:38--> 00:31:39

alaihi wasallam.

00:31:40--> 00:31:41

Now, in regards to reality,

00:31:42--> 00:31:43

unfortunately,

00:31:43--> 00:31:45

no matter how much we try to tell

00:31:45--> 00:31:47

people ittaq Allah, stay away from this, don't

00:31:47--> 00:31:49

do practice that. If unfortunately, if a man

00:31:49--> 00:31:50

is going to hurt his spouse, what is

00:31:50--> 00:31:53

he gonna do? He's gonna hurt his spouse.

00:31:54--> 00:31:55

Is he doing this because he's Muslim?

00:31:57--> 00:31:59

Otherwise, how come we have these hundreds of

00:31:59--> 00:32:01

shelters of battered women in this society over

00:32:01--> 00:32:03

here? How many Muslim women are there?

00:32:03--> 00:32:06

So it's not about being Muslim or non

00:32:06--> 00:32:06

Muslim.

00:32:07--> 00:32:09

Those who do so, they do it unfortunately

00:32:09--> 00:32:11

not because, Wallahi, the Quran said so. I

00:32:11--> 00:32:13

haven't actually met anybody who came to me

00:32:13--> 00:32:15

if they did that. They would say, well,

00:32:15--> 00:32:17

it's because the Quran said so. Not yet.

00:32:18--> 00:32:19

But they would say because she made me

00:32:19--> 00:32:21

upset or I lost my temper, or this

00:32:21--> 00:32:23

and that. So they have all their excuses

00:32:23--> 00:32:23

for it.

00:32:24--> 00:32:26

That doesn't justify what they've done to be

00:32:26--> 00:32:28

right because domestic violence is domestic violence.

00:32:29--> 00:32:30

If someone crossed the boundaries

00:32:31--> 00:32:33

and and and and hurts,

00:32:33--> 00:32:36

the the spouse physically beyond the limit that

00:32:36--> 00:32:37

is mentioned in the Quran, the sun of

00:32:37--> 00:32:38

the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam, and the

00:32:38--> 00:32:39

interpretation of the ulema,

00:32:40--> 00:32:42

then that's a violation that the person needs

00:32:42--> 00:32:44

to be man enough to accept accountability for

00:32:44--> 00:32:44

their action.

00:32:45--> 00:32:47

And that would not be acceptable at all.

00:32:47--> 00:32:48

And according to Imam Shaiyah,

00:32:49--> 00:32:51

the person actually, then he owes

00:32:52--> 00:32:54

a compensation that we paid back to his

00:32:54--> 00:32:56

wife for that for the as a penalty,

00:32:56--> 00:32:56

basically.

00:32:57--> 00:32:59

And of course, if it was even way

00:32:59--> 00:32:59

beyond

00:33:00--> 00:33:02

what is reasonable in that regard,

00:33:02--> 00:33:05

actually, the it's on the discretion of the

00:33:05--> 00:33:06

judge to punish

00:33:08--> 00:33:10

this man. So in this case, no one

00:33:10--> 00:33:12

can really come and use this ayah to

00:33:12--> 00:33:13

say, look, it's a justification of a domestic

00:33:13--> 00:33:16

violence. Absolutely not. A domestic violence is a

00:33:16--> 00:33:18

real thing. It's a real issue but again

00:33:18--> 00:33:21

it's not because these people were doing it,

00:33:21--> 00:33:21

they're Muslims.

00:33:22--> 00:33:24

It's just because as the prophet said they're

00:33:25--> 00:33:27

not good men. So be careful and don't

00:33:27--> 00:33:28

mix these two things together.

00:33:29--> 00:33:29

Now,

00:33:32--> 00:33:33

is there anything else left on this point?

00:33:41--> 00:33:42

Alright, Bismillah.

00:33:43--> 00:33:44

By the way, just one last point. I

00:33:44--> 00:33:45

wanna mention one thing here because even though

00:33:45--> 00:33:47

it's not mentioned in this, in this, actually,

00:33:47--> 00:33:48

paragraph,

00:33:50--> 00:33:52

what if after all of this, unfortunately,

00:33:54--> 00:33:56

you know, the lady, she she or the

00:33:56--> 00:33:58

man, or the lady decided, you know what,

00:33:58--> 00:34:00

I can do your hack for you, I

00:34:00--> 00:34:00

need out.

00:34:01--> 00:34:03

And the man insist, no, you're gonna stay

00:34:03--> 00:34:04

in this relationship.

00:34:05--> 00:34:07

Okay. I can't. I'm not gonna be able

00:34:07--> 00:34:08

to to serve you, I'm not gonna be

00:34:08--> 00:34:09

able to take care of your haqq, I'm

00:34:09--> 00:34:10

not gonna be able to do this for

00:34:10--> 00:34:11

you. I'm afraid that if I do this

00:34:11--> 00:34:13

I'm gonna go to jahannam because of that.

00:34:13--> 00:34:15

Why don't you go to jahannam? I don't

00:34:15--> 00:34:15

care.

00:34:16--> 00:34:17

Okay. Leave me.

00:34:18--> 00:34:20

Leave me. I'll pay you the muhar back.

00:34:20--> 00:34:21

I'll give you the khol

00:34:21--> 00:34:23

leave me. And he insists, no, you're not

00:34:23--> 00:34:24

gonna leave.

00:34:24--> 00:34:25

Is that acceptable?

00:34:26--> 00:34:28

Absolutely not. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says in

00:34:28--> 00:34:29

the Quran

00:34:36--> 00:34:38

Don't hold them. Don't hold them against their

00:34:38--> 00:34:40

will in this relation, in the marriage.

00:34:41--> 00:34:42

As a transgression.

00:34:45--> 00:34:47

If you do so, then you transgress against

00:34:47--> 00:34:48

your own self first.

00:34:48--> 00:34:50

And unfortunately, that Anuj exists.

00:34:51--> 00:34:53

Some people, some men just wanna keep holding

00:34:53--> 00:34:54

that woman

00:34:54--> 00:34:56

against her in the relationship forcefully,

00:34:57--> 00:34:59

simply because of their ego probably or whatever

00:34:59--> 00:35:01

other thing they have in their mind.

00:35:02--> 00:35:02

And,

00:35:02--> 00:35:03

when the lady,

00:35:04--> 00:35:06

the wife of Thabit ibn Qaisb bin Shamas,

00:35:06--> 00:35:07

she came to the prophet

00:35:09--> 00:35:10

and she said, You Rasulullah

00:35:10--> 00:35:11

Thabit,

00:35:14--> 00:35:16

I don't complain about his zaklaq, his deen,

00:35:16--> 00:35:17

like he's awesome,

00:35:20--> 00:35:22

If I stay with him, I'm gonna commit

00:35:22--> 00:35:24

kufr. So the ulama, they said the word

00:35:24--> 00:35:26

kufr that she used here, one of 2

00:35:26--> 00:35:28

things, whether I'm gonna do kufr of my

00:35:28--> 00:35:29

husband which means I would not be able

00:35:29--> 00:35:31

to fulfill his haqq and his duty

00:35:31--> 00:35:34

and that's Kufran Al Ashir, you're denying your

00:35:34--> 00:35:35

husband his right, so

00:35:36--> 00:35:38

I'll be doomed because of that. Or some

00:35:38--> 00:35:40

they say I'm gonna lose it, like I'm

00:35:40--> 00:35:41

gonna

00:35:41--> 00:35:43

I'm gonna lose my faith, basically.

00:35:44--> 00:35:45

So either way, the prophet

00:35:46--> 00:35:47

he didn't force the rish, he said, no,

00:35:47--> 00:35:48

you're gonna stay with him. What's wrong with

00:35:48--> 00:35:50

you? That's Thabit. That's the best man I

00:35:50--> 00:35:52

have in my in my companion rank of

00:35:52--> 00:35:54

the companions. He didn't say any of these

00:35:54--> 00:35:55

things.

00:35:55--> 00:35:57

He called and he says, look, your wife,

00:35:57--> 00:35:58

she says she's she's not happy, she wants

00:35:58--> 00:35:59

to leave.

00:36:00--> 00:36:01

And Saba

00:36:01--> 00:36:03

unlike any man he kinda like offended,

00:36:03--> 00:36:05

he said, kaliar Rasulullah, what about the gardener

00:36:05--> 00:36:06

I gave her? Like I gave her a

00:36:06--> 00:36:06

handsome

00:36:07--> 00:36:09

amount of mahar, a full garden, a full

00:36:09--> 00:36:10

orchard garden.

00:36:11--> 00:36:13

And the prophet said, would you give it

00:36:13--> 00:36:14

back to him? She goes, yeah, actually he

00:36:14--> 00:36:16

can take it back. He goes, okay finish

00:36:16--> 00:36:17

it.

00:36:18--> 00:36:19

And that was

00:36:19--> 00:36:20

it.

00:36:22--> 00:36:23

Hold him kindly

00:36:23--> 00:36:26

or leave him kindly. But when some people

00:36:26--> 00:36:29

they wanna just kinda like Allah Mustan, they're

00:36:29--> 00:36:31

willing to drag each other into courts,

00:36:31--> 00:36:32

you know, indefinitely

00:36:33--> 00:36:35

simply because of their ego, Allah Mustan. Nah.

00:36:36--> 00:36:38

On sexual etiquette,

00:36:39--> 00:36:42

it is recommended to commence in Allah's name

00:36:42--> 00:36:42

Tasmeya.

00:36:43--> 00:36:45

One should turn away and head off from

00:36:45--> 00:36:47

the and the couple should be under a

00:36:47--> 00:36:50

cover without being totally naked.

00:36:50--> 00:36:53

The husband should begin with foreplay by hugging,

00:36:53--> 00:36:54

dim, and kissing.

00:36:55--> 00:36:58

Some scholars found it recommendable to make love

00:36:58--> 00:36:58

on Fridays.

00:36:59--> 00:37:00

After climax,

00:37:01--> 00:37:03

the husband should take it easy and facilitate

00:37:03--> 00:37:05

her climax as well as it might not

00:37:05--> 00:37:07

happen as fast as his.

00:37:07--> 00:37:10

Okay. So some of these actually etiquettes has,

00:37:11--> 00:37:12

evidence for them in the sunnah of the

00:37:12--> 00:37:15

prophet such as when a husband and wife,

00:37:15--> 00:37:16

they're about to be intimate with each other,

00:37:16--> 00:37:18

it's better to start with Bismillah.

00:37:18--> 00:37:19

As the prophet

00:37:19--> 00:37:20

suggested,

00:37:21--> 00:37:24

make the dua Bismillah Allahu Majinibnash shaitan, wajinibnash

00:37:24--> 00:37:24

shaitanammarazaktana.

00:37:25--> 00:37:26

Like saying in the name of Allah,

00:37:27--> 00:37:30

You Allah Janibnah Shaytan. Like protect us from

00:37:30--> 00:37:30

the Shaytan.

00:37:33--> 00:37:34

And protect our offspring,

00:37:35--> 00:37:37

the result, the fruit of this intercourse

00:37:37--> 00:37:39

from the shaitan as well too. So that's

00:37:39--> 00:37:41

a du'a from the prophet salawatulahu alaihi wasallam

00:37:41--> 00:37:43

that suggested for people before they'd be intimate

00:37:43--> 00:37:46

with each other. As for turning away from

00:37:46--> 00:37:46

the qiblah

00:37:47--> 00:37:48

or to be covered

00:37:49--> 00:37:49

completely,

00:37:50--> 00:37:51

there is no,

00:37:51--> 00:37:53

evidence from the prophet salallahu alaihi wa sallam

00:37:53--> 00:37:56

to suggest that. Similarly, that they cannot be

00:37:56--> 00:37:56

now completely,

00:37:57--> 00:37:59

bare and naked, There is no evidence from

00:37:59--> 00:38:01

the sunnah of the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa

00:38:01--> 00:38:03

sallam to suggest that. As a matter of

00:38:03--> 00:38:03

fact,

00:38:04--> 00:38:06

any of these things may be just etiquettes

00:38:06--> 00:38:07

observed

00:38:07--> 00:38:09

or at least recommended by the ulama

00:38:10--> 00:38:12

as as an act of what? Modesty.

00:38:12--> 00:38:13

As an act of modesty.

00:38:14--> 00:38:16

Some ulama, they have different opinion in that

00:38:16--> 00:38:18

regard because if it's halal for you, take

00:38:18--> 00:38:19

it to the extent to the extent of

00:38:19--> 00:38:20

it being halal.

00:38:21--> 00:38:22

Now, probably perhaps

00:38:23--> 00:38:25

some some might suggest or say, look, they

00:38:25--> 00:38:27

used to talk about their their culture back

00:38:27--> 00:38:28

then when they used to live in,

00:38:29--> 00:38:32

open courtyards and and they had they don't

00:38:32--> 00:38:33

have the same, you know,

00:38:33--> 00:38:34

yani,

00:38:35--> 00:38:36

seals that you have in your doors and

00:38:36--> 00:38:39

windows and so forth. Perhaps that's why they

00:38:39--> 00:38:41

will ask people, hey, take extra precaution.

00:38:41--> 00:38:43

But today, if alhamdulillah, you're,

00:38:43--> 00:38:45

and you're far away from from the neighbors

00:38:45--> 00:38:47

and you're in your own private

00:38:47--> 00:38:49

room and it's inside the house and you

00:38:49--> 00:38:51

have your doors and windows and so forth.

00:38:51--> 00:38:53

Now that is up to you. It's mubah

00:38:53--> 00:38:55

and there's nothing wrong with that.

00:38:56--> 00:38:57

As for the foreplay, that's also from the

00:38:57--> 00:38:58

prophet

00:38:59--> 00:39:02

recommendation, a woman actually came to complain about

00:39:02--> 00:39:03

her husband.

00:39:03--> 00:39:04

Kharad Yarasullullah,

00:39:05--> 00:39:07

my husband doesn't recognize the thigh or the

00:39:07--> 00:39:07

neck.

00:39:08--> 00:39:10

What she means by that, he is just

00:39:10--> 00:39:11

straightforward to intercourse.

00:39:12--> 00:39:15

He doesn't know anything about foreplay. He doesn't

00:39:15--> 00:39:16

kiss, he doesn't hug, he doesn't touch, none

00:39:16--> 00:39:18

none of that stuff. So, the prophet said

00:39:18--> 00:39:20

like we should actually do so.

00:39:21--> 00:39:24

As for having intercourse on Friday, obviously,

00:39:24--> 00:39:26

I don't know why. Let's say, people have

00:39:26--> 00:39:28

different schedule. Right?

00:39:28--> 00:39:28

So,

00:39:29--> 00:39:31

it's it's up it's up to them based

00:39:31--> 00:39:32

on their convenience.

00:39:33--> 00:39:35

Why Friday? Is it because it's a virtuous

00:39:35--> 00:39:37

day? That's just a recommendation, but there is

00:39:37--> 00:39:39

no obligation to be on Friday.

00:39:40--> 00:39:42

Ima. Besides, Friday for us is wadism. It's

00:39:42--> 00:39:43

a working day. Right?

00:39:45--> 00:39:46

Now,

00:39:46--> 00:39:49

now, a very important matter the prophet suggested

00:39:49--> 00:39:51

so that to be fair with your spouse,

00:39:51--> 00:39:54

that if after intercourse, if the man, for

00:39:54--> 00:39:56

example, is relieved, don't rush,

00:39:56--> 00:39:58

which means don't end it, and don't stay

00:39:58--> 00:40:00

away from your wife until you feel that

00:40:00--> 00:40:01

she also fulfilled

00:40:01--> 00:40:03

her desire as well too because they might

00:40:03--> 00:40:05

not be they might not be active, the

00:40:05--> 00:40:07

climax might not be at the same point

00:40:07--> 00:40:08

at the same time. And that's from the

00:40:09--> 00:40:10

also the sunnah of the prophet salallahu alaihi

00:40:10--> 00:40:12

wa sallam that he suggested now.

00:40:13--> 00:40:14

Yes, go ahead.

00:40:15--> 00:40:17

If the husband wishes to enjoy his wife

00:40:17--> 00:40:19

during her menses, she must wear a waist

00:40:19--> 00:40:21

wrapper that covers the area between her flanks

00:40:21--> 00:40:22

and knees.

00:40:22--> 00:40:24

He is not allowed to have intercourse with

00:40:24--> 00:40:26

her during that time and must never enter

00:40:26--> 00:40:27

the anus.

00:40:27--> 00:40:29

If a man wishes to make love a

00:40:29--> 00:40:31

second time, he should wash his private part

00:40:31--> 00:40:32

and perform ablution.

00:40:33--> 00:40:35

So this is basically general etiquette the prophet

00:40:35--> 00:40:36

salallahu alaihi wa sallam suggested,

00:40:38--> 00:40:40

when one night he was sleeping in bed

00:40:40--> 00:40:42

with Umminin and

00:40:43--> 00:40:44

all of a sudden

00:40:45--> 00:40:47

she slipped out of that bed and she

00:40:47--> 00:40:48

went and she put

00:40:48--> 00:40:49

clothes on,

00:40:49--> 00:40:51

so what which means she was not actually

00:40:51--> 00:40:52

wearing anything.

00:40:53--> 00:40:54

So when she puts her clothes on, the

00:40:54--> 00:40:55

prophet says, anifesti,

00:40:56--> 00:40:58

did it start your period? She goes, yes,

00:40:58--> 00:41:00

You Rasool Allah. He goes, okay, take this

00:41:00--> 00:41:02

off, just wrap your waist with something

00:41:02--> 00:41:05

and then come over. So basically, he says,

00:41:05--> 00:41:06

protect yourself from the blood, like putting a

00:41:06--> 00:41:09

pad or something like this, and then wrap

00:41:09--> 00:41:11

your waist all the way to the knees,

00:41:11--> 00:41:12

and which means she's going to be actually

00:41:12--> 00:41:14

topless, and they said, just come back to

00:41:14--> 00:41:16

bed. And they will still be cuddling with

00:41:16--> 00:41:18

each other, skin to skin.

00:41:18--> 00:41:20

Again, that defies the state that we what

00:41:20--> 00:41:23

we have seen, what we heard actually right

00:41:23--> 00:41:25

before about you have to be completely alikana,

00:41:25--> 00:41:27

you have not completely

00:41:27--> 00:41:30

uncovered, nam. Now, in regards to

00:41:30--> 00:41:31

what is permissible,

00:41:32--> 00:41:34

if Aluqulashay the prophet was asked a question

00:41:34--> 00:41:36

about what is permissible between a husband and

00:41:36--> 00:41:38

wife during her

00:41:39--> 00:41:39

period.

00:41:40--> 00:41:42

Like you are allowed to enjoy each other,

00:41:42--> 00:41:45

you know, hugging, kissing and so on except

00:41:45--> 00:41:46

the actual intercourse.

00:41:47--> 00:41:48

So, that's completely prohibited.

00:41:49--> 00:41:49

Also,

00:41:51--> 00:41:53

and the anus is completely also, completely prohibited

00:41:54--> 00:41:56

and the prophet even he mentioned, he said

00:41:56--> 00:41:56

actually,

00:41:57--> 00:41:59

that's actually curse a person who ever approached

00:41:59--> 00:42:00

a spouse from behind.

00:42:00--> 00:42:02

And if a person wants to do it

00:42:02--> 00:42:04

multiple times in the same night, that's a

00:42:04--> 00:42:06

part up to their desire and activity, of

00:42:06--> 00:42:07

course,

00:42:07--> 00:42:10

the recommendation is to just wash up the

00:42:10--> 00:42:13

part and then make wudu. Is it mandatory?

00:42:14--> 00:42:15

No. It's not mandatory.

00:42:15--> 00:42:17

Do they have to take shower right after

00:42:17--> 00:42:19

they're done? Not necessary. They can delay it

00:42:19--> 00:42:20

until later

00:42:21--> 00:42:23

but until before Fajr Suri Rum Mas Salat

00:42:23--> 00:42:24

Al Fajr.

00:42:25--> 00:42:27

One should not shave his hair, clip his

00:42:27--> 00:42:29

nails, or extract blood in the state of

00:42:29--> 00:42:30

sexual impurity.

00:42:30--> 00:42:33

There is no evidence to support that. There's

00:42:33--> 00:42:35

no evidence to support that. As a matter

00:42:35--> 00:42:37

of fact, the hadith Abu Rayri radiallahu anhu

00:42:37--> 00:42:39

al Bukharim Muslim, the prophet

00:42:40--> 00:42:41

he said,

00:42:42--> 00:42:44

I believe in is never actually impure which

00:42:44--> 00:42:45

means

00:42:46--> 00:42:46

these these acts,

00:42:48--> 00:42:50

even if you're on junub, you can still

00:42:51--> 00:42:53

clip your nails or even extract the blood

00:42:53--> 00:42:55

if needed, whatever that is. Basically, you should

00:42:55--> 00:42:55

be fine inshallahta'ala.

00:42:56--> 00:42:56

Now.

00:42:57--> 00:42:59

With respect to coitus and eruptus, it is

00:42:59--> 00:43:00

permissible though not recommended.

00:43:01--> 00:43:03

Which is what we call in Arabic language,

00:43:03--> 00:43:05

and that is more of like a a

00:43:05--> 00:43:08

conservative method, meaning trying to avoid,

00:43:08--> 00:43:09

conception

00:43:09--> 00:43:10

and pregnancy.

00:43:10--> 00:43:12

Is it allowed for the man to pull

00:43:12--> 00:43:15

out before ejaculation? The answer is yes. However,

00:43:15--> 00:43:17

some ulama they say, you have to take

00:43:17--> 00:43:19

permission from your spouse first.

00:43:19--> 00:43:21

Like even from your wife, say, look, listen,

00:43:21--> 00:43:22

you don't want to be we don't want

00:43:22--> 00:43:24

to get pregnant right now. You don't want

00:43:24--> 00:43:26

to have child a child. So let's try,

00:43:26--> 00:43:28

precautions. So the least you could do is

00:43:28--> 00:43:30

to pull out and that's called the Azil

00:43:30--> 00:43:31

and it used to be permissible at the

00:43:31--> 00:43:34

time of the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam. Harijab

00:43:34--> 00:43:35

radhiallahu an. He,

00:43:36--> 00:43:37

he said,

00:43:40--> 00:43:42

we used to practice azel while the Quran

00:43:42--> 00:43:44

was still being revealed, which means if it

00:43:44--> 00:43:44

was prohibited,

00:43:45--> 00:43:46

it would have been mentioned to us in

00:43:46--> 00:43:47

the Quran. Nam.

00:43:47--> 00:43:49

The etiquette of having children.

00:43:50--> 00:43:53

We'll stop there insha Allah for next week.

00:43:54--> 00:43:57

I think it took longer than we expected

00:43:57--> 00:43:59

but it was very important to explain all

00:43:59--> 00:43:59

these points.

00:44:19--> 00:44:21

I'm gonna read inshallah the hadith in Arabic

00:44:21--> 00:44:23

again because it's very long, and you're gonna

00:44:23--> 00:44:25

read it in English inshallah. Okay?

00:44:26--> 00:44:27

Hadith number 24 from

00:44:33--> 00:44:33

from

00:46:08--> 00:46:10

The author of Nahuwala writes, Abu Dhulal al

00:46:10--> 00:46:14

Hikari radiAllahuwala who narrated from prophet salallahu alaihi

00:46:14--> 00:46:16

wasalam, among that which he narrated from his

00:46:16--> 00:46:17

Lord Azza Wajah,

00:46:17--> 00:46:19

that he said, my slaves I have forbidden

00:46:19--> 00:46:22

injustice to myself and have forbidden it between

00:46:22--> 00:46:24

you, so do not wrong each other. My

00:46:24--> 00:46:26

slaves, all of you are astray except for

00:46:26--> 00:46:28

whomever I guide, so seek guidance from me.

00:46:28--> 00:46:30

I will guide you. My slaves, all of

00:46:30--> 00:46:33

you are hungry except for whomever I feed,

00:46:33--> 00:46:35

so ask me to feed you, I will

00:46:35--> 00:46:37

feed you. My slaves, all of you are

00:46:37--> 00:46:39

naked, except for whomever I clothe, so seek

00:46:39--> 00:46:41

clothing from me. I will clothe you. My

00:46:41--> 00:46:43

slaves, truly you do wrong by night and

00:46:43--> 00:46:45

day, and I forgive wrong actions altogether,

00:46:45--> 00:46:47

so ask for my forgiveness. I will forgive

00:46:47--> 00:46:49

you. My slaves, you cannot reach my harm

00:46:49--> 00:46:51

so that you could harm me, and you

00:46:51--> 00:46:53

can never attain my benefit so that you

00:46:53--> 00:46:55

could benefit me. My slaves, even if the

00:46:55--> 00:46:57

first and and last of you, your human

00:46:57--> 00:46:59

beings in your gin were according to the

00:46:59--> 00:47:01

most God fearing heart of any one man

00:47:01--> 00:47:04

among you, that would not increase anything in

00:47:04--> 00:47:06

my kingdom. My slaves, even if the first

00:47:06--> 00:47:08

and and last of you, your human beings

00:47:08--> 00:47:10

and your gin were according to to the

00:47:10--> 00:47:11

most wicked heart of any one man,

00:47:12--> 00:47:14

any one man among you, that would not

00:47:14--> 00:47:17

decrease anything in my kingdom. My slaves, even

00:47:17--> 00:47:18

if the first and the and last of

00:47:18--> 00:47:19

you,

00:47:20--> 00:47:21

your human beings and your djinn were stand

00:47:21--> 00:47:23

on one flat piece of land, and they

00:47:23--> 00:47:25

were to ask me, and I gave each

00:47:25--> 00:47:26

one of them what what he asked for

00:47:26--> 00:47:28

that would not decrease what I have except

00:47:28--> 00:47:30

as a needle does when it has entered

00:47:30--> 00:47:32

into the sea. My slaves, they are only

00:47:32--> 00:47:34

your actions which I enumerate for you, then

00:47:34--> 00:47:36

later I will repay you for them. So

00:47:36--> 00:47:39

whoever experiences good, then let him praise Allah,

00:47:39--> 00:47:41

and whoever experiences other than that, then let

00:47:41--> 00:47:42

him only blame himself.

00:47:43--> 00:47:46

So, Nam, Arabic a Muslim. So we talked

00:47:46--> 00:47:47

about the meaning of of injustice. And the

00:47:47--> 00:47:50

imam Ibn Rajiv he explained 2 meanings of

00:47:50--> 00:47:51

injustice. Number 1

00:47:52--> 00:47:53

was that you put things

00:47:54--> 00:47:56

not in their rightful place, in general. The

00:47:56--> 00:47:58

second meaning he said that you,

00:47:59--> 00:48:00

you kind of

00:48:01--> 00:48:03

like, you you you have control of someone's

00:48:03--> 00:48:07

possession and act in someone's on someone else's

00:48:07--> 00:48:09

position without their permission. But that's not what

00:48:09--> 00:48:10

the

00:48:10--> 00:48:12

primary meaning of it. The first one is

00:48:12--> 00:48:14

actually the meaning of injustice over here

00:48:14--> 00:48:15

and definitely,

00:48:16--> 00:48:19

it is considered completely haram and Allah Subhanahu

00:48:19--> 00:48:22

Wa Ta'ala, he made haram for himself. So

00:48:22--> 00:48:23

the opposite to this to Allah

00:48:24--> 00:48:26

is other attribute. What is the attribute of

00:48:26--> 00:48:27

Allah that

00:48:27--> 00:48:29

is opposite to zulum and injustice? What is

00:48:29--> 00:48:30

Arjama?

00:48:31--> 00:48:31

Adil.

00:48:32--> 00:48:33

That he's Adil

00:48:33--> 00:48:35

not Adil, that he is Adil. So we

00:48:35--> 00:48:37

spoke about the meaning of it and we're

00:48:37--> 00:48:38

gonna call right now to page 300

00:48:39--> 00:48:42

84 Insha'Allah. Point number 2, the prohibition of

00:48:42--> 00:48:43

injustice.

00:48:44--> 00:48:46

Now. He's saying, I have forbidden it between

00:48:46--> 00:48:48

you, so do not wrong each other. It

00:48:48--> 00:48:50

means that he exalted as he has forbidden

00:48:50--> 00:48:52

injustice to his slaves and has forbidden them

00:48:52--> 00:48:54

to be unjust to each other. It is

00:48:54--> 00:48:56

haram for each single slave to be unjust

00:48:56--> 00:48:58

to others along with the fact that injustice

00:48:59--> 00:49:01

in itself is absolutely and qualifiedly

00:49:01--> 00:49:03

forbidden. What does that what does that even

00:49:03--> 00:49:05

mean here? He says, look,

00:49:05--> 00:49:07

injustice in itself is absolutely

00:49:08--> 00:49:08

haram,

00:49:08--> 00:49:09

like regardless.

00:49:10--> 00:49:11

So why would Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala in

00:49:11--> 00:49:14

this hadith policy says, I made it haram

00:49:14--> 00:49:15

between

00:49:16--> 00:49:18

you. Like he should have said, I made

00:49:18--> 00:49:18

haram

00:49:19--> 00:49:21

altogether. Right? So why would he indicate that

00:49:21--> 00:49:22

between you?

00:49:23--> 00:49:26

Even though it's haram altogether, but the fact

00:49:26--> 00:49:26

that Allah

00:49:27--> 00:49:30

is highlighting adzum between human beings because of

00:49:30--> 00:49:32

the how dangerous that is.

00:49:33--> 00:49:34

And he said he used the word, the

00:49:34--> 00:49:35

hadith called,

00:49:36--> 00:49:37

Falah Tawalamu.

00:49:38--> 00:49:40

Tawalum in the Arabic language,

00:49:41--> 00:49:43

Allah Allah wasn't tafal. The Arabic verb for

00:49:43--> 00:49:45

this tafal, which is basically the scale of

00:49:45--> 00:49:45

tafal,

00:49:46--> 00:49:47

requires two sides,

00:49:48--> 00:49:50

like there is it's a dynamic verb, that's

00:49:50--> 00:49:52

what it means. So, at tafalom

00:49:52--> 00:49:54

is there's dynamic in dulm. What does that

00:49:54--> 00:49:56

mean? It means people keep doing dulm against

00:49:56--> 00:49:57

each other.

00:49:57--> 00:50:00

The act of injustice is frequent and fortunately

00:50:00--> 00:50:02

between human beings against each other. So then

00:50:02--> 00:50:03

he says, even

00:50:04--> 00:50:06

though injustice is haram altogether,

00:50:07--> 00:50:08

but exclusively

00:50:08--> 00:50:10

between you because it is very frequent. That's

00:50:10--> 00:50:12

what it means. So that's why he highlighted

00:50:12--> 00:50:14

that as separate activist statement now.

00:50:15--> 00:50:17

And it is of 2 types, first there

00:50:17--> 00:50:18

is wrong and oneself What is that thing

00:50:18--> 00:50:20

that is of 2 types?

00:50:22--> 00:50:23

The the the 2 types of what?

00:50:24--> 00:50:25

Dharm where?

00:50:25--> 00:50:27

Human beings. He goes there are 2 types,

00:50:27--> 00:50:29

what comes to Dharm of human beings? Number

00:50:29--> 00:50:32

1? 1st, there is wronging oneself the worst

00:50:32--> 00:50:34

of which is associating partners with Allah as

00:50:34--> 00:50:36

Allah exalted as he says in the shirk

00:50:36--> 00:50:38

at Al Ulmul Alim, associating

00:50:38--> 00:50:40

others with him is a terrible wrong. So

00:50:40--> 00:50:42

what does that mean? The first dulm that

00:50:42--> 00:50:44

you do against others is what?

00:50:45--> 00:50:45

Your own self.

00:50:46--> 00:50:48

That's the first wrong.

00:50:49--> 00:50:50

And the greatest one is to have shirk,

00:50:50--> 00:50:52

to have actually to create injustice against Allah

00:50:52--> 00:50:54

Subhanahu wa ta'ala.

00:50:54--> 00:50:56

The one who associates others with a law

00:50:56--> 00:50:58

regards that which which is created to be

00:50:58--> 00:50:58

in the same rank as he who creates

00:50:58--> 00:50:58

and thus worship and created to be in

00:50:58--> 00:51:00

the same rank as he who creates and

00:51:00--> 00:51:03

thus worships it and devotes himself to it.

00:51:03--> 00:51:05

He puts things in places which are not

00:51:05--> 00:51:07

their due, most of that which occurs in

00:51:07--> 00:51:09

Quran of And that's why saying that the

00:51:09--> 00:51:11

definition of injustice, you put things not where

00:51:11--> 00:51:12

they belong. Now,

00:51:13--> 00:51:15

most of that? Most most of that which

00:51:15--> 00:51:17

occurs in the Quran of threats against wrongdoers.

00:51:17--> 00:51:18

Refers

00:51:18--> 00:51:21

to people who associate others with Allah as

00:51:21--> 00:51:21

as he says,

00:51:24--> 00:51:26

It is the who are the wrongdoers.

00:51:26--> 00:51:27

So the greatest injustice

00:51:28--> 00:51:30

is when you when you give when you

00:51:30--> 00:51:30

give

00:51:31--> 00:51:32

lordship,

00:51:32--> 00:51:34

when you when you make gods besides Allah

00:51:34--> 00:51:37

subhanahu wa ta'ala, that's the greatest injustice. If

00:51:37--> 00:51:38

he's the creator, he's the maker, he's the

00:51:38--> 00:51:40

provider, and you attribute all of this something

00:51:40--> 00:51:41

else.

00:51:42--> 00:51:44

It's a very clear, of course, obvious injustice

00:51:44--> 00:51:46

here. That's why Allah says, in the shirk,

00:51:46--> 00:51:47

it's the greatest

00:51:48--> 00:51:50

act of injustice. Now.

00:51:51--> 00:51:52

Then following that in seriousness

00:51:53--> 00:51:54

are the different types of act of acts

00:51:54--> 00:51:55

of disobedience,

00:51:55--> 00:51:57

the major wrong actions and the less wrong

00:51:57--> 00:52:00

actions? So what he means by that, dulmun

00:52:00--> 00:52:02

nafs, you wrong yourself, you have that injustice

00:52:02--> 00:52:05

against yourself. The highest form of injustice to

00:52:05--> 00:52:05

yourself

00:52:06--> 00:52:08

is when you attribute to Allah Subhanahu Wa

00:52:08--> 00:52:08

Ta'ala,

00:52:09--> 00:52:12

attribute actually or associate with Allah's other partners.

00:52:12--> 00:52:13

That's the greatest injustice to yourself and to

00:52:13--> 00:52:15

Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. Then,

00:52:15--> 00:52:17

when you disobey Allah Subhanahu with the other

00:52:17--> 00:52:20

sins, that's another injustice to Allah

00:52:20--> 00:52:22

here. And also you're wronging yourself with that.

00:52:22--> 00:52:25

The second one right now. 2nd, there is

00:52:25--> 00:52:27

a slaves wronging wronging others, and it is

00:52:27--> 00:52:29

that which is mentioned in this hadith. So

00:52:29--> 00:52:30

this is what he means by it in

00:52:30--> 00:52:32

this hadith right now, this part, which is?

00:52:32--> 00:52:33

The prophet

00:52:34--> 00:52:37

said in his address during the farewell Hajj,

00:52:37--> 00:52:39

your blood, your property, and your honor are

00:52:39--> 00:52:41

sacred to you just as this day of

00:52:41--> 00:52:43

yours is sacred, in this month of yours,

00:52:43--> 00:52:45

and in this city of yours. So what,

00:52:45--> 00:52:47

what day was that when this happened?

00:52:50--> 00:52:51

This statement, what day was it Ajamal?

00:52:53--> 00:52:53

Arafa,

00:52:54--> 00:52:54

right?

00:52:55--> 00:52:58

Or someone said, Yom Naha, What's the when

00:52:58--> 00:52:59

he said the month, what was

00:53:00--> 00:53:02

it? Dhul Hijjah. And what city was that?

00:53:02--> 00:53:04

Mecca. You cannot find more sacred than this

00:53:04--> 00:53:05

jamaah.

00:53:05--> 00:53:06

And he said,

00:53:07--> 00:53:08

3 things you owed to each

00:53:09--> 00:53:10

other. Number 1,

00:53:13--> 00:53:14

So your blood,

00:53:14--> 00:53:17

your wealth, and your honor, it shouldn't be

00:53:17--> 00:53:19

protected completely. It's so sacred

00:53:19--> 00:53:21

just like as this day,

00:53:22--> 00:53:23

on this

00:53:23--> 00:53:24

place, on this month.

00:53:25--> 00:53:26

SubhanAllah. So,

00:53:26--> 00:53:28

brothers and sisters, be careful coming on the

00:53:28--> 00:53:31

day of judgement carrying injustice against anybody in

00:53:31--> 00:53:34

regards to their blood. What does that mean?

00:53:34--> 00:53:35

You hurt them physically,

00:53:36--> 00:53:37

whether it's your spouse,

00:53:38--> 00:53:41

your child, or another human being, that this

00:53:41--> 00:53:42

happened unjustly.

00:53:42--> 00:53:45

Unfortunately, in our society today,

00:53:45--> 00:53:47

people they just do that for fun.

00:53:47--> 00:53:49

There are even some sports where you slap

00:53:49--> 00:53:50

each other and just kind of like spit

00:53:50--> 00:53:52

each other's blood and Allah will stand.

00:53:52--> 00:53:55

How ridiculous the society is turning into right

00:53:55--> 00:53:57

now? The second thing qal,

00:53:57--> 00:53:58

money,

00:53:58--> 00:53:59

cheating each other,

00:54:00--> 00:54:00

stealing

00:54:01--> 00:54:01

or,

00:54:01--> 00:54:03

subhanallah, causing

00:54:04--> 00:54:06

financial loss or damage deliberately

00:54:06--> 00:54:08

for for one another. And the third one,

00:54:08--> 00:54:11

aladakum, which means actually your honor.

00:54:11--> 00:54:13

And that of course by slandering them,

00:54:15--> 00:54:15

or backbiting,

00:54:16--> 00:54:18

like in their absence or their presence, they

00:54:18--> 00:54:20

talk about other to be about other people's

00:54:20--> 00:54:22

subhanahu in a way that is damaging to

00:54:22--> 00:54:24

them. This is absolutely prohibited, just like the

00:54:24--> 00:54:26

prophet mentioned here, just like how sacred

00:54:27--> 00:54:28

this day is,

00:54:28--> 00:54:30

in this month, in this place. This is

00:54:30--> 00:54:33

how sacred the bloods and the honors and

00:54:33--> 00:54:34

the wealth of other people to us. So

00:54:34--> 00:54:36

the greatest injustice would be in one of

00:54:36--> 00:54:37

these three areas.

00:54:38--> 00:54:40

The greatest injustice to between humans

00:54:40--> 00:54:42

in one of these three areas. Nam.

00:54:43--> 00:54:45

It is narrated of him that he delivered

00:54:45--> 00:54:47

this address on the day of and on

00:54:47--> 00:54:48

the day of sacrifice, and on the second

00:54:48--> 00:54:50

day of the days of tashriq.

00:54:50--> 00:54:52

In another version, there is that he then

00:54:52--> 00:54:53

said, listen to me and you will live.

00:54:53--> 00:54:55

Do not wrong, do not wrong, do not

00:54:55--> 00:54:58

wrong. A Muslim a Muslim man's property is

00:54:58--> 00:55:00

not permitted to you unless he is contented

00:55:00--> 00:55:01

with it. SubhanAllah.

00:55:01--> 00:55:04

Like, you cannot take someone's wealth unless it's

00:55:04--> 00:55:07

actually it's trade, a gift, someone give it

00:55:07--> 00:55:08

to you, you know, willingly, that's what it

00:55:08--> 00:55:10

means over here. Don't force someone to give

00:55:10--> 00:55:12

you some of their property without them being

00:55:12--> 00:55:13

satisfied with that. No.

00:55:14--> 00:55:16

There is in the 2 Sahih books from

00:55:16--> 00:55:18

Ibn Rumah that the prophet salallahu alaihi wa

00:55:18--> 00:55:21

sallam said wrongdoing will be darknesses will be

00:55:21--> 00:55:22

darknesses on the day of rising.

00:55:23--> 00:55:25

He said salallahu alaihi wa sallam in the

00:55:25--> 00:55:26

the the completion of the hadith

00:55:29--> 00:55:31

Be careful of the darkness of injustice because

00:55:31--> 00:55:33

it's gonna be darker on the day of

00:55:33--> 00:55:33

judgement for you.

00:55:35--> 00:55:37

And be careful of a shuh.

00:55:37--> 00:55:39

Now, a shuh was translated in different words,

00:55:39--> 00:55:41

but the true and the closest meaning of

00:55:41--> 00:55:42

it is really is

00:55:45--> 00:55:47

not necessarily stinginess, it also can be your

00:55:47--> 00:55:48

ego.

00:55:49--> 00:55:49

Your ego,

00:55:50--> 00:55:52

it can be actually the one that your

00:55:52--> 00:55:52

enemy,

00:55:54--> 00:55:56

It really destroyed and ruined those who are

00:55:56--> 00:55:57

before you.

00:56:00--> 00:56:03

Their ego caused them to kill each other

00:56:03--> 00:56:06

and just gonna betray every sacred thing that

00:56:06--> 00:56:07

they have.

00:56:07--> 00:56:09

Obviously, we know when your ego kicks in,

00:56:09--> 00:56:10

you don't care if it's halal, haram, or

00:56:10--> 00:56:12

right or wrong. No. That becomes right now

00:56:12--> 00:56:15

selfish thing. Allah and Musan. No.

00:56:15--> 00:56:17

There is in both of them that from

00:56:17--> 00:56:19

from Abu Musa that the prophet

00:56:20--> 00:56:22

said, Allah will definitely grant grant time to

00:56:22--> 00:56:23

the wrongdoer

00:56:23--> 00:56:25

until until when he takes him to task,

00:56:25--> 00:56:27

he will not escape him. Then he recited,

00:56:27--> 00:56:29

wakadalika akhdu rupikaida

00:56:29--> 00:56:30

akhadalqurawahialalima

00:56:31--> 00:56:33

in akhlahu alimu shadeed,

00:56:42--> 00:56:43

prophet

00:56:44--> 00:56:46

said, whoever has done some wrong to his

00:56:46--> 00:56:48

brother should free himself of it by making

00:56:48--> 00:56:48

it up

00:56:49--> 00:56:50

by making it up for him for it

00:56:50--> 00:56:52

to him because there is no

00:56:53--> 00:56:55

there before some of his good actions are

00:56:55--> 00:56:56

taken

00:56:58--> 00:57:00

are taken are taken from him and given

00:57:00--> 00:57:02

to his brother, and if he has no

00:57:02--> 00:57:04

good actions, then some of his brother's wrong

00:57:04--> 00:57:06

actions will be taken and flung on him.

00:57:06--> 00:57:08

So what the prophet is saying, telling us

00:57:08--> 00:57:09

over here is that

00:57:09--> 00:57:11

look, if you have done any of these

00:57:11--> 00:57:14

wrongs, whether you have violated someone's wealth,

00:57:14--> 00:57:15

someone's honor,

00:57:15--> 00:57:18

someone's blood, for whatever reason, whether you feel

00:57:18--> 00:57:20

it's justified or not, but if it hasn't

00:57:20--> 00:57:22

been, of course, sanctioned by the law, then

00:57:22--> 00:57:24

be careful with that. On the day of

00:57:24--> 00:57:26

judgment, this person is gonna come and you're

00:57:26--> 00:57:27

gonna start come doing some reconciliation.

00:57:28--> 00:57:30

But those reconciliations are not gonna be actually

00:57:30--> 00:57:30

through

00:57:33--> 00:57:35

through money and wealth and okay, here's your

00:57:35--> 00:57:37

money back, I'll give you interest, you know,

00:57:37--> 00:57:38

over this. It's not gonna work like this

00:57:38--> 00:57:40

on the day of judgement. It's gonna be

00:57:40--> 00:57:42

through deeds. And Hadid Nabi

00:57:42--> 00:57:43

he says,

00:57:46--> 00:57:47

which is what's mentioned over here.

00:57:50--> 00:57:53

If there's something between your brother, make sure

00:57:53--> 00:57:53

that you reconcile

00:57:54--> 00:57:56

with them before it is too late. So

00:57:56--> 00:57:57

that on the day of judgement,

00:57:58--> 00:57:58

there'll be

00:58:01--> 00:58:02

no If there is some sort of like

00:58:02--> 00:58:05

a wrongdoing between and your brother or your

00:58:05--> 00:58:07

sister, make sure that you reconcile with them

00:58:07--> 00:58:07

before

00:58:08--> 00:58:09

you die, before the day of judgment. Because

00:58:09--> 00:58:10

once this happens,

00:58:11--> 00:58:13

it's gonna be only with your hasanat and

00:58:13--> 00:58:14

sayyat.

00:58:14--> 00:58:16

And Haydul Mufless, the prophet

00:58:16--> 00:58:18

says, at the Durunam al Mufless, do you

00:58:18--> 00:58:20

know who the bankrupt is? He said, yeah,

00:58:20--> 00:58:22

he's the one who had no gold, no

00:58:22--> 00:58:24

silver, no money. Because that's the easy one.

00:58:25--> 00:58:26

But true mufless Now, this is a paradigm

00:58:26--> 00:58:28

shift, creating a paradigm shift for the people.

00:58:28--> 00:58:30

So the prophet said, you know what the

00:58:30--> 00:58:31

real mufless is?

00:58:33--> 00:58:34

This is the one who comes on the

00:58:34--> 00:58:35

day of judgment

00:58:43--> 00:58:44

like the mountains of the hamma,

00:58:46--> 00:58:49

like mountain range, amazing unbelievable mountain range

00:58:49--> 00:58:52

of good deeds that consist of salah, fasting

00:58:52--> 00:58:54

and and zakan, charity.

00:58:54--> 00:58:56

However, this person came with lot of liabilities

00:58:56--> 00:58:57

attached to it.

00:58:58--> 00:59:00

Hurt in this person, slander in this person,

00:59:00--> 00:59:01

cursing in this person.

00:59:04--> 00:59:05

Everybody takes from their hasanat.

00:59:06--> 00:59:08

When their when his hasanat are all gone,

00:59:08--> 00:59:09

look the mountains of good deeds are all

00:59:09--> 00:59:10

gone

00:59:10--> 00:59:12

and it's not enough yet. It's not enough

00:59:12--> 00:59:14

to to compensate for everybody else. So they

00:59:14--> 00:59:15

start taking it from there, say, yeah, their

00:59:15--> 00:59:18

bad deed and throw on his until this

00:59:18--> 00:59:19

person is completely doomed.

00:59:20--> 00:59:21

So the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasalam is warning

00:59:21--> 00:59:23

us against this. He says if you owe

00:59:23--> 00:59:25

someone anything in this dunya,

00:59:26--> 00:59:28

better that you reconcile with them before it

00:59:28--> 00:59:29

is too late. May Allah

00:59:30--> 00:59:31

keep us all fair and just

00:59:32--> 00:59:34

and protect us from being a cause of

00:59:34--> 00:59:36

any injustice to anyone in this dunya.

00:59:38--> 00:59:40

So next week, we'll continue from point number

00:59:40--> 00:59:40

3,

00:59:41--> 00:59:43

after starting with Sharjah.

00:59:41--> 00:59:43

after starting with Sharjah.