Michael Jackson And Marriage

Bismillah Al Hamdulillah Assalamu alaikum peace be unto you. Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the deen show. We're here every Wednesday, Midnight's Thursdays at 2pm. And people from all around the globe, tune into the deen, show calm. If you can't catch us here. If you're not in Chicago, you can catch us at the dean show calm. Now, we're going to be getting into our next topic. But before we begin, we're going to bring you up to some current news, things that are in the headlines.

federal investigators tested automatic automated controls for Washington DC Metro Transit trains hoping to figure out why the computerized systems designed to prevent collisions failed in a deadly crash this week. nine people killed, including the train operator and more than 70 were injured.

The Charlie's Angels start 1970 pop icon fare faucet dies at age 62. She was Hollywood's golden girl. And now Farrah Fawcett, who epitomize the American ideal of beauty has died after three years, battling cancer. The television celebrity Ed McMahon has died. Ed McMahon was a successful comedian TV host, who became famous for his run on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. He introduced Johnny Carson with his trademark, he is Johnny.

And the top news that we find all over it's the buzz of the day. Michael Jackson, energetic seemed driven by the upbeat, upbeat in weeks, even hours before his death.

colleagues and friends of Michael Jackson's appeared say that he appeared in recent months to be rejuvenated by his prospect of performing again. He was in great shape, working out with a top trainer,

getting his physical checkups. And just before his death, Jackson was dancing like the old Michael.

And

he died at the age of 50. So this is the news def which is a reality as the Creator of the heavens and earth has said in the verbatim Word of God, the Quran, every soul shall taste death. So this is a serious event that is coming. We have an appointment with it. And with that said, with the news, bringing you up to speed on what's going on. All over the world. We're going to be heading into our next topic with our next guest. Yasser rajas. We're going to be talking about marriage. Here on the deen show. We'll be right back.

There's only one

there's only one Jesus was his messenger

Why did that maybe maybe it's just to break the ice. Oh salaam aleikum. wa rahmatullah wa barakato. Hawaii. And Alabama. Good to see you again. Thank you for coming and being with us on the deen show. It seemed like when I saw you, I told you it was like almost yesterday. You were a pleasure being here with you. We were talking about marriage before again was still gotta be talking about it. And God. Yes. But before that. I know it's encouraging Islam, that we give some gifts. And we got a nice little gift for

you. Yes. So please, probably would you like to see what it is? I'm sure they will. So go ahead and open it up. Let me see what the gifts were we got Mashallah. You got the deen show.

You are. Thank you. Thank you for being with us. Now, before we get into the topic, marriage, everybody should be striving to get married for finding that soulmate, which is encouraging Islam. But we talked about the news, we brought this up, because it's a reality, we will all face death. What are your comments on some of the things that we discussed? So Paula, I myself, actually, I remember growing up on that same culture, even though was in one of these Gulf countries. But it was very interesting actually hearing the news. And I felt like anybody else that it just something, something that hits reality reality, when in reality when it hits, it just brings you back to all

these now memories of the past, how you grow up and help people they grow up and so on. But eventually no one is really saved of that event that we can all have to face. It's an appointment regardless how great you are, how great your achievements were, whether you've been a national international icon or just an average person, eventually have that appointment with Allah Subhana. home with IRA, and that shows what allies have just said that there's no escape from this anyway. And I think really, during that time, it's definitely a time for people to reflect that. No one can escape that regardless how much you think that

You're going to survive and live. But it's still, it's an event. I believe that it's so important for people really to think seriously specifically, just like you said, you know,

there were three icons of the sculpture here in America. And they all almost passed away in the course of one week. And that is something really amazing when you think about how three of probably the most amazing icons of TV shows in America. And they all basically they passed away in that sense that that proximity of time. So finally, the last part of the plan things in a way that amaze you all the time. Yeah, it's amazing how we had mentioned that Michael Jackson, who was probably the biggest celebrities of pop stars, before his death, he was preparing, he was physically in shape. He was dancing, he was getting ready to, you know, put on a show. And that's it. Exactly. I mean, I

mean, you as a prophet, salah and describe people usually when they plan for their life, they plan ahead of time, all the time, not just most of the time, we always plan ahead of them. Otherwise, we'll never do anything in life. If everybody knows that they're gonna die next day, or the next moment, no one will do anything alive will be destroyed completely. But here you see how Allah subhanho wa Taala plan things you have planned your own life for an extra time, that's our extension. But alas, my plan that your your appointment with him will be closer than that, as a prophet sallal sm says, usually Adam is always have total and total M which means that long hope for

a heart for a longer life. So when people they basically they plan things, it goes beyond their circle, or their basic appointments of over the last panel with Anna. But then as they plan, then a larger bring everything to interrupt all these lead that all these beauties and all these pleasures of this dunya. Couple more points. Should people feel sad about this is this a call to pessimism, then when we talk about death? No, as a matter of fact, that should be a motivation. Because if you know that you live in one life, and that you know that you have an appointment, the last panel with Allah, you can have to prepare for it. That's the whole idea. Some people they just completely

negative all the time. And therefore, when you think of death, they always take that negative side of it, meaning if I'm going to die, why should I do anything then? Yeah, what's the purpose of doing anything? No, that should be a motivation. And that's one of the things in Islam suppiler even the concept of prohibitions, like for instance, the prohibition of alcohol in Islam, the prohibition of adultery, and fornication and so on. All these things for some people who would like to indulge themselves in immersing themselves and pleasure. They think these are as obstacles. But for a true believer, they're not obstacles, as a matter of fact, they are challenges. So that you overcome, you

know, the reality of life, these prohibitions by something that's it's pleasurable, pleasurable, but at the same time, it's permissible. Yeah, so if you don't drink alcohol, for example, there are so many other things that you can enjoy, you know, life without drinking a sip of alcohol. If you cannot commit adultery or fornication, lots of have blessed you with that with the ability to go and select a spouse and enjoy life together. This is the same thing. It's not an obstacle. It's not something to cause people to get completely desperate and start, you know, stopping living their lives. No, usually, it should be a motivation. It's only one life that you're going to be living so

you better do it for Allah subhanho wa Taala and you prepare yourself for that event entire lifetime. So when you die, at least you're ready that you have done your best in show low to Allah. Now we're the only Islamic program on the cable station can't TV in Chicago. So we have a lot of non Muslims listening and you said something in Arabic You said Allah and you follow it up with subhana wa Taala. Can you please translate what you said? When you say the word Allah is basically God, we're talking about God and so on. Subhana Allah means Glory to Allah or Praise be to Allah. Usually as Muslims, when you speak the Word of Allah Spano, dada, and when we speak his name, we always say,

All Praise to Allah, and all Glory to Allah. And that's why when you say the word Subhana, Allah so usually becomes natural, as you speak, becomes part of your of your language all of the time. And that

gives you all the words you know, attached and unconscious about your actions, your words, your speech, and you always think of Allah subhanho wa Taala in general, can you give us some attributes of this creator that we worship also because there's a lot of misconceptions people think, I think that we worship a moon God, or some people worship a man, some people worship the creation of the Creator, can you give us some attributes of this law that we worship? Actually, this is one of the major misconceptions about Muslims You know, when people see Muslims they decide the moon during the month of Ramadan, and people they keep talking about citing the moon side of the hill and so on. And

when you go to some Islamic centers and some mosques here in America and elsewhere in the world, you see this also this icon, which is the croissant Yeah.

So when you say the Christendom people they think also most they're most likely worshipping the moon God. And that's the the major misconceptions and it's It has nothing to do with worshipping the moon God. And this is just like a fable or some kind of old stories from from from way before Islam predating Islam, Arabs just they will polytheist they will worship so many gods and so many eyes.

There's a song, bonus lamb came came to prohibit all these all these acts of worship, so is one of the only one and he's in heaven. So Panama and the seventh heaven. So when worship Allah azza wa jal, we do not worship, we do not set any partners with him. And that's very important for us. So the idea of even thinking of another god, whether you call him moon guard whatsoever, this is this is an art an act of disobedience, an act of polytheism, we don't believe in that as Muslims. So and that's a misconception. Because of these icons that Muslims they use, the only reason they use the croissant or the moon is because it's just, it's a sign of of calculation. Almost actually, all the

traditional cultures and civilizations, they use the moon for calculation, and they have their own calendars. So Muslims also they follow the same, the same concept and the lunar calendar, basically. And when you use the lunar calendar, you'll be following the calculation of months based on citing the moon or the croissant, that's how it came about to become like an Islamic icon, or maybe just, you know, a sign that they use, you know, as a reminder for these months. Gotcha. Okay, so with that said, Now, people can read a little bit more about you, because you have an impressive resume, you studied at the prestigious Medina University and you're a one of the head instructors at McGill

University. And also you are the owner of the and you run this practice mate clinic, co founder, co founder of practice, mate, yes. Okay. So we're going to have your own little biography and everything that people can see at the deen show calm under our guest section. But now we want to get into some of these questions that people have marriage. It's it's something that you know, people look forward to. And it's something that's really encouraged in Islam. So we have some some questions here that people are asking, and we want to talk to you because you're the master fic. What does fichte mean actually means jurisprudence or Islamic law? Yeah. When you say it's the

basically the rules of Islam in general, Muslims, they live, they live their lives, by an organized system of moral and morality and ethics, gentlemen, so these are part of the Islamic system and part of what we call it. So when you have fifth of Salah, which means the law of prayers, how to perform the Salah, so the specific etiquette that needs to be followed, so you have of marriage, same thing, the etiquette of getting married, and so on. So they go by that because we believe being the creation of Allah subhanho wa Taala.

We will need to live by His laws and his rules. And he knows what is best for his creation. So when he says these rules, we definitely have the full trust and confidence that brings the best to mankind. Gotcha. Okay. Let's get into the questions. Now. Let's go for it. everybody's excited. They want to know, they want answers to these. Now, first question is brothers asking, I think this is coming from a brother, he says, there's a sister who I'm interested in for marriage. And I think she has the same feelings towards me. How do I confirm this without crossing any lines? Now, this is one of actually the trickiest way of doing things because Muslims do not believe that in dating. And

they believe that there should be some kind of guidelines whatsoever to the interaction between man and woman. Yes. And so therefore, if someone has some feelings, let's say towards a lady, and he's interested genuinely, in approaching her, and he would like to go and pursue that in the most the permissible way, which is go for marriage? Definitely. Yeah, the best way of doing it is to go and check. If they know if he knows, for instance, some married couple of smart people, yeah. Whom he assumes that

his friends wives, they know that lady, that they bring them more information about their availability, and so on. So they told him that she's available, for example, that means she's not engaged, he's not married, and so on. And then in this case, he can send some informal, let's say, shop enters that this gentleman is interested. And in this case, if she says she'll, if she shows similar interest, then he goes to the forum, talking and discussion. I know, I get to get to know each other, and so on. But if there is, if that's a negative response, that she's not, for example, available, she's engaged already. Or maybe she's she's not ready at all. Because she's in she's

doing her school or something like that, then in this case, the person should not really put too much energy into that because it's going to be consuming. So better just you know, call it off and start, you know, going on with their lives. Okay, you're at a convention. Let's give some kind of practical example. Tell us what would be the role What advice can you give at a convention we know that the male, the female, they should be lowering their gaze, but you're looking around and just something gets caught your eye and your glance, and you see each other and you say, wow, I need to get married and she might be the one. Now you got your sister, possibly with you, or maybe a friend.

You don't want to let this opportunity go.

Do you want to seize the moment? Can you seize the moment? A, can you do something halau that you can maybe send your sister or someone else to approach her? Or maybe if you don't have a sister, you have someone else with you that you can try to approach that person to ask for her guardian? Absolutely. I mean, as long as it's done in the most respectful manner, yeah, then it's okay. So the best way of doing it, basically, what is the traditional the most traditional way is if you have your sister with you, or a wife of a friend, who can approach that lady, for example, again, and give it an informal request or informal, basically, what we call HIPAA, which means just like a

request of engagement, if there was any chance for that, this is the best way of doing it. And even better off if you know, the parents of the lady, because eventually, in traditional families are Muslims, the value actually traditional values of families, they would like to have their parents be part of their marriage. Yeah. And they would like to, they would be proud to have their parents, you know, being part of their marriage. So therefore, if you know the parents, and you can have someone who talks to her mom, or even you go on to talk directly to her dad, for example, there'll be there'll be even much better, because that shows the man how respectful you are that you would not

go, let's say, you know, on your own, and so on islamically, though, what if someone wasn't in this kind of moment? And there was nobody at the time to?

To do that for them? Yeah. Can the person go directly? And let's say, talk to the person that was going to be actually my next question, basically, islamically Yes, a man has the right to propose directly to a woman. But this is based, I would say on the general, General ambient and environment of that locality. So this is something kind of offensive to some families.

And they don't like that, because it's kind of you know, crossing the lines, even though islamically It's okay. That's permissible as a member number. Hi, Rahim. Allah, Allah mentioned, that in his or her, even a woman can even propose to a guy directly, provided that they have a genuine intention for marriage means the person is really, really ready. It's not that it just you know, there's so someone out there just now the moment of, of love, and there is, you know, what, I don't want to lose this opportunity. Yeah, it's not about just losing an opportunity, is it? Are you ready for that opportunity? If you're not ready for the opportunity, then you're doing the wrong thing? Right?

Yeah. So if someone for example, broke, he's not even finishing his school, he has no job. He has no accommodation. He lives with his family and so on. How do you expect this person to go and propose officially, I mean, people they would say the first thing I would ask you about is, who's your family? And are they okay with that? Are you ready for that? Are you prepared for this? So people that before even they took that chance to start, you know, looking around?

In this case, they need to be first ready for it? So if the brother let's say, the brother's ready, he's got some money in the bank account? Yeah, he's got a place where he can take his new wife, yes. Maybe even he's even living at home and his parents are seeing that, look, we need to safeguard our child from her, you know, fornicating. So they're kind enough to say, look, you can, you know, be in the room and get your own room, live with the family until you you know, get on the phone, get your own place permissible. So now, he can actually go up at the masjid or at a convention somewhere. And now, the Prophet says some if I'm correct, he said, See her before you marry her? Yes. So now Can he

actually get a nice look and say, or does he have to lower his gaze? These are practical issues. This is can you now can he now like, should he say like, okay, I just happened to see you. I was supposed to be looking but I look because I'm trying to get married. And or should he be looking at it? What you talked what's the point is if the person is has his already ready, yes, is one thing. But when we say ready, first of all, let's define that. Okay, the meaning of being ready. Most people they look at the guys, the person I mean, when you say ready, we talk about the man? Yeah, because we believe that the man is responsible to provide for the family. Even if the woman if you

know, the, let's say the lady, she's also a financial independent, that she has her own job or career and so on. Still, though, you know, in the mind of so many people being ready for mass means the man is the one should be responsible for that. And a woman she keeps her money for herself in general, unless they have specific arrangements. Yeah. So the man needs to be able to financially Be ready financially involves two, two sides of that reparation. Usually, you have the initiation, initiation of marriage. And then you have the continuation of marriage, the initiation of marriage is probably the most difficult financial burden. Why? Because many people living in American culture

here. They started demanding so much in order to allow this to happen. Yeah, so they request so much for the diary. We call it Maha, which is the bridal gift. So they asked the man to provide such amount of money that it might be beyond let's say, capability, or at least maybe consider other stages. unreasonable. Exactly. And then they demand also, let's say a specific lifestyle. Instead of apartment, they need a house instead of a house, they might live in a mansion or something like that, even when they when they demand so much from the person that they become overwhelmed and they get turned off sometimes, and I've been to Unfortunately, many many young

Men and women, their families in particular, they, they they consider this a measure for their social for the social status means the higher that you ask for means the higher your social status. And you don't ask for that much. People just think that you know what they just given the kids for nothing. I mean, it's, it's not about showing the status, you don't show your status by doing that. And that's why they pay so much money for what they call it walima, which means that the wedding party and the wedding night and all these things and so on, the the kids wants their done from all these preparations right now. They're already in debt. And they have also other debts for that. So

the basically, it's really overwhelming. The second portion of preparation is actually the continuation of marriage, which is once you know, you're done with the marriage and the wedding party. Now can you live together on your own, if the person has the capability, the financial capability of sustaining a living an apartment, at least, or living with a family if they have specific arrangement for that, and then he can provide provision you can provide, let's say, the decent life and so on, then this person is actually ready for that. So that's the meaning of being ready and prepared financially. And when people they assume you already if you have a stable job.

Yeah. So when you're still in school,

for them, this is not this is not a sign of maturity, you have to finish your school first. Unless, again, you have a preparation or arrangement with the family, that they will help them of course, financially, during that. So that's the meaning of getting ready actually for marriage. So now the brother is ready. He's making his a lot. He's implementing this way of life of total submission to the crater alone. And he's wanting to do things right. He doesn't want to fall into the tricks and traps that are out there of dating boyfriend and girlfriend, he wants to do things that are pleasing to his creator. Now tell us because we want to also talk about this place where it's halau, hookup,

get married, do it the right way. Practice, mate. Tell us what is the Holloway? We have another question. We've spent a lot on this one. But what is now the halau way to go about proposing to a sister or to a brother? Well, when you say to Holloway, it means permissible, which means Islamic as you said there was a guideline Yeah, there between the separates you know that the permissible for impermissible? Yeah. When it comes to interaction between men and women. One of the things that comes also from the from the previous question is when the someone wants to propose, should he look should you look down and so on? Yeah. Now, once the person is ready, means they are qualified to go

on to qualify. So once they become qualified to propose, then you have different means of doing that some of them are traditional, some of them are cultural, some of them are just general, you know, Islamic when we say cultural, because we live in a multicultural society, there is no one defined culture for Muslims here. And the common one for the younger ones, specifically, the younger generation is the American culture. And once the American culture, it's kind of hybrid between the personal culture that comes from the forefathers, as well as the Islamic interaction here in America. So they have modified some of their culture, for example. So usually, in the most common, I

would say, the most traditional societies, among Muslims, it is unknown for a guy to go directly to propose to a girl. Yeah, it's kind of difficult to basically to accept by the older generation, but the younger generation, they have no problem with that, because now they're already going to school together, they probably didn't participate in some activities, some conferences, some even so many actually programs that they share together. So then what's the big deal to go and talk to her? If you think that she is maybe the one Yeah, islamically, there is nothing wrong, provided that the person is really interested genuinely in marriage. It's not just a matter of hanging out until

school is over semester is over. And so no, this is not acceptable at all. But if someone is genuinely interested, and they go directly to the girl, and he said, I would just want to let you know that I've, let's say, I have a genuine intention shall allow them to do things in the permissible way. And I'm interested, I would like to know if if you can I talk to you further, for example, for a father or mother or even to, if she doesn't have let's say, she's a convert, and she has let's say nobody who can or a guardian who can speak on her behalf or help her with that he can directly to propose to her and and ask this is I'm really interested, I would like to do the show

the permissible way. And I want to know what you'd like to say about this. Yeah. Or if you would like to think about it, then maybe you know, have me talk to somebody on your behalf or maybe someone that you would like me to, to go for officially proposed to unsigned eventually. There are so many ways of doing that. Yeah. Sometimes if it goes through marriage, through families, many people they they miss interpret the word arranged marriage, and the thing that you know, people are forced into it. Yes. There are people unfortunately, who are forced into marriage

and being forced into marriage. islamically is wrong. Yeah. And as a matter of fact, it's invalidates even the contract. Yeah. But culture sometimes prevails over the over Islamic practices because Muslim they don't, not all of them live by by the W

leaves and the etiquettes of Islam. Some of them they have the culture above, unfortunately, what they believe to be right or wrong, our culture just creeping up Islam. Absolutely. So this is the thing that confuses many people when you start hearing about things like that. So family arrangements, sometimes the guy he trusts his mom's judgment, the girl, she trusts her parents judgment and so on, it's okay. Whatever is everything is okay. I'm okay with that. Why? Because they would like to have the family support. That doesn't mean that she's not going to sit with him doesn't mean that she's not going to talk to him or he talks to her, they still going to come

together and talk and converse and see things firsthand. And eventually, once they feel comfortable with each other, they reach that comfort zone. They give the decision. Yes. Okay. Ouch. Okay, I'll take that. Does it work all the time? Not necessarily. Yeah, even in the dating culture doesn't work all the time. So there are no guarantee, basically, whether it's arranged or not arranged, in this case, and so on, there are no guarantees that this is going to be successful relationship, because the success of marriage has a lot of dynamics and elements into it. It's not about just, you know, the beginning of it. It's also the continuation of the relationship. Yeah. So the choice is one

thing, and then how to work out afterwards, a different thing. Tell us now let's spend a few minutes before we come to an end here on the deen show. We've shaped Yasuo ridges, I couldn't pronounce your name before you remember that. I remember that.

So now, you have this practice a hookup halau style, get married, do it right with some training. Yes. Talk to us about this. Well, the idea of practice, mate, which stands for practicing practical practicing Muslims, is a kind of solution that we try to provide for those young men and women who live a culture that is kind of foreign, you know, to them at some point, and some of it is kind of, they don't want to do something wrong, that displeases the Lord and their Creator. So they want to do the proper way how to get to know someone for marriage. Yes. And we believe that,

personally, actually, as an instructor on our marriage Institute and teaching classes on film of love and love notes, and the etiquette of marriage, and spirits of marriage, in Islam, and so on. I've seen so much going around in the Muslim community here in America, the young ones, they've kind of lost, because they think one of the myths of marriage is that I think marriage is natural. Is everything is going to be okay. Because everybody's doing it. So why should it be different for me, then? Yeah, so I can manage it. I don't, I don't need really any training specifically, guys. Guys are so proud of themselves, which is the masculine ego, and they're so proud of themselves that they

think you know what, I don't even need any training. I don't want anybody that told me how to get married. Yeah, well, guess what, in the 20th 21st century, you need that you need somebody? Absolutely. Because you need someone to tell you how to go about things in order to ensure that you have success in the relationship practice that came out actually, to order to solve this problem. And we started by starting the marriage revolution.com. The marriage revolution.com, which was like a blog, we started, you know, brainstorming with many singles,

men and women, and try to bring ideas and suggestions what exactly they think about 1234, and so on, eventually, what do you need to know about marriage, all these things, and from their feedback, we designed practice, to help devising specific training, of course, we're still in the early stages of that. And we're doing our best to provide them with the best rain that we think would be helpful to them. And Shawn, in the future, we don't believe we are perfect, but we're trying our best to help to help with that, and charlatan, and we're sure that if we keep going on and continue, things will be better inshallah, in the future part of practice, we have matching also services. And that will

that matching service, we're trying our best to make it the most respectful way. And without crossing any lines. Again, we're not perfect in that in that era. But we're still trying to provide a service that we hope that will be Charlottetown very beneficial to the young men and women in the Muslim community. Are you prepared because there's a lot of singles out here and they're ready to get married. So you prepare for all these new comers that are going to come aboard Bismillah I would like to invite everybody to give it a try. Just come to our website, just like teammate calm or the marriage revolution to start, you know the conversation and dialogue with other singles. And from

there inshallah they can make the decision would like to join us or not, and we wish them the best shape. Thank you very much for being with us. Hello, hello. Thank you very much. And thank you for tuning in to another episode of the deen show.

In the beginning, we talked about Deaf people who have died.

This is something that should be on our minds our appointment that we have, don't hesitate and put this off another moment, start to dig. if you already haven't found the truth, start to dig for it. Just as you would not put off caching that $1 million check that had an expiration date on it. You'd be running in a hurry to get that money. There's something even more important our appointment with death. And some of these people that were with us they're no more no longer with us. So this is something as the shake was saying something

We should be optimistic about motivated to do the good that our creators told us to do. And one of those good things

is getting married a worshipping Him alone worship in the creator and not his creation and doing everything and one of those important things is finding your soulmate in Islam. So you can visit the shakes website at practice mag calm if you're looking for that special someone get that proper training and do it allow us now do it the right way. And we hope that we get to see you. I mean, we hope that you visit us again here on the deen show until next time as salaam alaikum peace be unto you

Bismillah

Allahu Allah Illa

letter fu Sina to

the lady

in the

ad mana

while

he

was yaku

see what everyone's talking about.

You find one contradiction it can't be from God.

But the rational idea the rational explanation is you do your best to give up worshiping God is one I will never give up spreading this message. I hope that you take the necessary steps you don't know if you're gonna live to tomorrow.

So you got to find that urgency to do the right thing right now.

The reality of life, usually that sink in until tragedy comes.

You get a few bad people. The media grabs ahold of that and spends it the way they want to.

If you say that you do not believe in Jesus you have stepped outside of Islam you cannot be a Muslim as a tenant are afraid to

eat comb eats lay everybody sleep

arise and ask a lot of thinking me own law you see, oh law you know, all the sins I do. I turn to you to forgive my sins.

Yo

runs away. Ola guide me