Marriage In Islam The Deen Show

Yaser Birjas

Date:

Channel: Yaser Birjas

File Size: 17.39MB

Share Page
AI generated text may display inaccurate or offensive information that doesn’t represent Muslim Central's views. Therefore, no part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever.

AI Generated Transcript ©


00:00:13--> 00:00:44

Salam Alaikum peace be unto you. Welcome to the deen show, which is a way of life we try to put out there for everyone to see helping you understand Islam and Muslims with some Muslim. A Muslim is one who does Islam. What is Islam it's an action it's a verb is to submit and to surrender your will to the will of the Creator. You learn something already and you're gonna learn some more. We're bringing out our special guests this week. You can go into the interview we do with him. We're covering the topic of marriage. You can learn more about them we're going to introduce him

00:00:45--> 00:00:47

he's about to come out special guest

00:00:49--> 00:00:49

chef

00:00:50--> 00:00:53

Yasser be gracias

00:01:00--> 00:01:01

Welcome to the show.

00:01:05--> 00:01:19

We went over your formal background on the last show that we did but real quick people can go back we have we're gonna have all your topics under your category special guests Yasser be big house. We'll get that I'm gonna get that right one day.

00:01:21--> 00:01:32

Yes. But Jax. You graduated from with honors as a class Victoria from the Yale of Islamic universities in Medina.

00:01:33--> 00:01:41

Through true University of Medina, Medina, yes. And you're the mom, spiritual leader in El Paso, Texas. Okay.

00:01:42--> 00:02:24

Institute among Arab Institute. Alright, now we're going to get into the topic, marriage today. It's become something that is not being held on to as it was back, just I don't know how many years ago is something trust is something pure today people are test driving in relationship just like you test driving a car. People are living together, you know, you meet this My girlfriend is my boyfriend or buddies. Well, you don't hear like this is my husband's my wife. It's something that now is become a normal society that people are drifting away from marriage, or even the youth that want to get married, some parents are even making it more difficult. They're saying, wait till you

00:02:24--> 00:03:03

finish college, we're back then you have people getting married at a younger age, preserving the family. But what's happening today, you know, I got to finish I got to get my doctor's degree. I got to get finished get this PhD and a woman's 30. She's independent. Now. There's nothing wrong with being independent. But she's 30 and still not married. The boy he's wants to, you know, have his fun, test, drive as many cars as you can and then get married. We want you to go into this subject. And tell us how Islam preserves marriage. What it says about marriage? What's the man's role? What's the woman's role really clarified this in detail? Can you do that and shut up.

00:03:20--> 00:03:21

handler Brahimi

00:03:25--> 00:03:33

offers you to Allah, the Most Merciful, the Compassionate, and May peace and blessings of Allah be upon His messenger Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

00:03:35--> 00:03:43

Marriage in Islam. Love is probably the most spoken about subject in life of men and women today.

00:03:44--> 00:04:24

People they have this kind of feeling and passion to love each other, who would like to establish relationship, they would like to have a happy life. And most men and women, they have their own ideas about the concept of man, the concept of relationship and the concept of love as well. We see that in this century, the 20th 21st century right now, most men and women are a giant enjoying the companionship of one another without having any specific limits, except for a few of course. So they have started their own ideology of love, their own ideology, and culture of relationship and marriage as well. It has changed a lot. From the time when people they used to appreciate the

00:04:24--> 00:04:59

concept of family, the concept of marital life, being a spouse, being someone who's caring for you and caring for someone else. Having the concept of having children and raising up, you know, a solid foundation for the society. In the future. People have changed a lot and actually a lot of these concepts as well. In Islam, the institution of marriage is still solid, in constant theory, and in application as much as possible. But we still see that so many people are also drifting from that mainstream of the culture of marriage and family life.

00:05:00--> 00:05:39

something new in the society. You see, we are seeing right now many young people, young men and young women are delaying their marriages. They're already going to try don't have any answers. You don't even show that interest of even getting married. We see so many people, young men and women, they're pursuing their career. They want to find themselves they want to define themselves, but the most of them are all of them right now, trying to define themselves through individualism means they want to be themselves, they want to build careers, they want to have degrees, they want to be successful in this life and so forth. But even the concept of success had been drifted away from the

00:05:39--> 00:06:01

concept of family and marriage to be successful individually and individual. And unfortunately, many people are falling short when it comes to their relationship with their spouse. So therefore, we see the other problem and medical relationship nowadays in this century is that people would they getting married, but

00:06:02--> 00:06:41

this marriage doesn't last too long. Many people they end up in relationship with divorce, then the relationship with estrangement, and even sometimes the end was unfortunately like so many incident we have been watching on the news, with with a murder, just simply the snap out from that kind of relationship and they end up so violent and dealing with their spouses. What is going on what exactly is happening to people and their relationship what has happened to the concept of marriage and feminine life? And I would like briefly to talk about the concept of marriage and the concept of love and relationship for Islamic perspective. It has been summarized in one simple verse and

00:06:42--> 00:07:00

what Allah subhana wa tada God saying, and therefore an ensuite room. Verse number 21 woman Aya tea and Holla Holla comin unfussy come as watchin Lita, schooner Elijah, wa Jalla Vina kumada wa in a few Danica tilicho me

00:07:01--> 00:07:51

which means the English translation amongst his sign is this he created for you color color, men and fussy come from amongst yourself as virgin mates, spouses, later school Eliza, in order to find peace and tranquility with them. Well, Jan avena, come my way. And he established between your hearts mawatha that is love and mercy, Rama in a theoretical formula for karoon Indeed, the rent myth in these verses and those words are signs, signs from Allah subhanaw taala, from the Creator. For those who would like to reflect this what summarize the concept of marriage in Islam, we see that in living in the 21st century, it's it has become a cult, the body culture is everything is

00:07:51--> 00:08:09

about beauty people, they would like to marry someone because of the physical characteristics, nothing about what is beyond that actually image. There's nothing wrong, of course, it presumes something beautiful, because this is now signs of perfection of mankind as well, as Muslims, we believe that marriage is a sign of perfection in the life of man.

00:08:10--> 00:08:54

So therefore, it is something virtuous to go and pursue in this life in the legal way, of course. And in this in this verse in the Quran, our man, the commentators and what they said, they, they based that the marriage itself, it should the successful marriage is based on two elements or two factors for a successful marriage. Number one, to have love. And number two, to have mercy. So if you have love, that's one thing, that's something very important in marital relationship. But number two, you also have the mercy. Most marriages that start with a loving relationship, specific living in this culture, you have so many people who go with these kind of test driving marriages, or

00:08:54--> 00:09:34

sometimes they don't drive through marriage, they just meet each other in a in a in a club, or some kind of casual event. And all of a sudden they're in love and you want to get married. Why do you get in the audience for marriage from nothing really probably significant consumers, except that it what they see on TV, whether in fairy tales, and so on. So it starts with love. And then, like we see in many, many relationships, specifically in life of celebrities, this kind of loving so called relationship ended up with divorce quickly after they get married. So what happened to that love that they enjoyed before? What exactly is happening, what's going on with love people they have that

00:09:34--> 00:10:00

you know, that feeling that love is something permanent. When they fall in love. They think that it's gonna be for granted forever. But once they start their marital relationship, that's when they realize that love is more than just a mere thought, or just a passion or even a lust. It's even more than that. And that's when mercy comes in. So we believe that love during that marital relationship, transform transforms itself to different

00:10:00--> 00:10:15

degrees, and different also shapes it start with this passionate love. And then when the spouse when the wife, she becomes pregnant, now they're expecting a child, very soon, the husband and wife, they become now

00:10:16--> 00:10:53

more merciful to each other, more loving in a different way, of course, because there is something else that you're going to share together in this life. And then even when you have that child, now that love will be split between you, all of you, as a family. And now the Father has another purpose of life, besides, you know, just being so loving to his wife is also needs to be so lovely to his family sacrifice, and the wife would do the same thing. It's all about mercy. And it's all about love transforming itself from one level to the other. Unfortunately, most people, they're still living these kind of idealistic dreams about a perfect relationship. And contemporary study just

00:10:53--> 00:11:27

confirmed and prove that this perfect relationship is almost an illusion. There is nothing perfect about our marital relationship, except except expect to have everything in your marriage relationship, you have the ups and downs, you have the good times and the bad times, you have the times when you're upset and angry. And we have the time when we're very happy, and you're laughing, and so on expecting unnatural, unnatural, marital relationship. But if you expect to have that perfect relationship is all about love. That's when people when they start seeing that love is not there anymore, they stop going for divorce, because there is no purpose anymore for this

00:11:27--> 00:11:50

relationship. But if you think of love, as an action that you need also to do, and way of transforming that love to a merciful relationship as well. That's when love when marriage actually starts for long, belonging and takes even longer time, of course, between a husband and wife. We believe that family life

00:11:52--> 00:12:33

should be all about love and mercy has not just solely about love, the compassion, the passion of love, is not solely just a mercy. It's a combination between love, and mercy. And we believe that the best solution for the passions of people and this life, disrespect this value, the value of family and the value of marriage. as Muslims, we do, we do believe that, you know, there are certain guidelines, people need to observe in that marital relationship. When we say a marriage, we talking about contract. And a contract is has its own provisions that both parties should honor and should also observe. You have things we call them rights, and also the things we call them obligations,

00:12:33--> 00:13:07

what men and women share together in America life, that's all about the rights and obligations. And hopefully, we will have an opportunity to discuss the meaning of rights and obligations between a husband and wife in Islam, it has all been regulated under Quran and the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad, himself, peace be upon him. And by studying the best examples for mankind, we'll see how the relationship goes so smooth, and so loving, and happy, ready to life? It is He himself, Muhammad, peace be upon him, the prophet of Islam, who said hydrocone

00:13:08--> 00:13:20

the best amongst those who are the best to their families. And then he said that I am the best to my family, and of course, to commendation for us to follow His perfect example as a role model for mankind.

00:13:26--> 00:13:27

That was wonderful.

00:13:29--> 00:14:09

hamdulillah Thank you. So we got a kind of an idea of what marriage is in Islam, we have some practical things that are happening today. Tell us, is it true that when Muslim completes marriage, this is like completing half of his faith. It's a very common concept in the Muslim culture that indeed, when someone gets married, they complete half of their faith. Because most people, they kind of had to have this kind of, you know, wild dreams and wildlife and so forth. But once they get married, that's when it starts settling down, and the South genome becoming more focused on their goals in this life, and they understand themselves in the society in general. Is there something is

00:14:09--> 00:14:42

it true that now once a man is married, he likes psychologically, physically, he becomes like, balanced? He should? Yeah, I mean, people they should be why because now it's no longer it's no longer about yourself. It's about us. Yeah. So when people start, you know, they have their own wild dream again, they want like to be such and such to all these kind of things, and so on. And now when they when they get married, they have someone else in their life that when they think it in jointly, of course, so it's all about us the knowledge about me personally, or you personally, that doesn't mean that marriage will limit your personal dreams and goals as well. You can still achieve great

00:14:42--> 00:14:59

goals in this life as an individual, but at the same time with assistance your family, that will be a plus two. And then usually if you're not married, you have I mean, it's not everybody, but I know people it's like you're kind of like a wild animal sometimes. Well, it depends of course on the environment and how much they get to go loose. Yeah, yes, it is.

00:15:00--> 00:15:25

Because you guys don't you can't get your desires run while you get heat, you're full of this heat in this passion, you get a chance to get in some real trouble. You live in the 21st century. Yeah. And when you go around walking in America, walking in the West in general, you will see that, again, it's all about body culture, even right now. And almost everywhere on the body culture, the body culture, it's all wherever you go, it's all about men getting in shape, muscles, whatever actually, they try to do.

00:15:27--> 00:15:46

And how I look where exactly women the same things they would like, of course, it was very, they want to be in shape. And plus now even in, in fashion, industry, and so on. It's all about revealing more parts of the body than you know, covering and considering that just like in the past, it was about you know, being so modest, cover yourself, and being so

00:15:47--> 00:15:59

respectful when you walk out into the street, we lost that and we lost that and but Islam preserves, it still brings it back. We don't we don't compromise this and we don't compromise that in Islam. Unfortunately, Muslims are doing that Muslims or

00:16:00--> 00:16:27

Islam keeps that of course intact as one of the main regulations of the relationship between a man and one so At what age because you see nowadays, many parents are saying and even individually to say, you know, I gotta finish college, I got this doctor's degree, at what age should a youth get married? Because we've gone away so far, saying, I 1819 is too young, too young, 30 evens people 40 years old waiting to get married? What age should someone get married? Well, the destruction of the Prophet Muhammad,

00:16:28--> 00:17:03

peace be upon him is that when a person when a man a person is is capable, means physically and financially capable of getting married, they should not spare a moment, they should spare a spare moment, they should do that. However, of course, there are other instructions as well means that sometimes it becomes compulsory, is obligatory, a person to get married, if they have that capability, financially, physically, and at the same time, they feel strongly that they might go into something haram prohibited meaning like fornication or an occasional adultery. In this case, they're obligated to go and get married, because there's nothing really prevented from them. Because

00:17:03--> 00:17:32

there's no Is there a boyfriend girlfriend in Islam? We don't have that concept of in Islam at all. How about if we just hold in hands, boy and girl, the same thing can't do none of that no touching none of this plane rush, you got to be your wife, she got to be the wife as clear as date and then this case. So what about dating? How would people would know? He just yeah, how about that? That's a good question. It's a very important question specific living in this in this society, you know, they don't have that much access, maybe in Islamic environment. So how will go about it, still, the family plays a major role in presenting you know, the youth to each other. Plus, we have a lot of

00:17:32--> 00:18:02

Islamic centers for the can should facilitate this for the for the young people, and families to come together. Living in a multicultural society. It's very important to start tolerating interracial marriages, and mixed marriages and so forth. And having only one particular culture, that puts too much pressure on some of those young people talking about probably that the culture of Muslim youth who are growing up in this in this society, now they're developing their own culture, their American Muslims, they're no longer for example,

00:18:03--> 00:18:40

Muslims, or even the Pakistani Muslims or Bosnian Muslims, or saw that American Muslims means they all come together from different backgrounds, and they're building their own culture. So people they need to start to start, you know, breaking the ice. And tolerating this kind of mixing no cultures between the Muslim What do you got to say to the parents who are restricting, say the youth now he's got this urge, right? And he wants to get married, he fears his creator, because he knows if I fall into the fornication, I'll get some big trouble. Right. So that's one of the main things that one of the major sins absolutely major sins, major sins, okay? major sins, so analysis punishable. So you

00:18:40--> 00:19:12

have this fear of your Creator and love. You don't want to displease him. Now you want to get married, you've come to that. But your parents giving you a hard time now they're like, you know what, wait to finish school. And, you know, we got to get this $25,000 wedding. What do you got to say to the parents? Well, my advice to the parents, my advice to the parents is that they need to make it easier for the children. The children are living a different culture right now a different society. I know most parents, they have that claim that you see, we have gone through this ourselves. I've went to universities, I went to colleges, and we survived the aftermath, these

00:19:12--> 00:19:47

little kind of experiences. So Washington, our kids also bear, you know, the responsibility. And also then the more question until they finish their school, I would say the culture has changed, the circumstances are changing. And your kids, they have that stronger edge, of course, to preserve themselves. And they have the right to say that however, I also send advice to the young kids, young men and women who would like to get married, that your parents needs to see some responsibility from you. You know, there's teaching the class myself teaching a class over the American Institute called love nuns. And sometimes these activities we ask parents and we asked also young adults to give

00:19:47--> 00:19:59

their perspective about why they're dealing with marriages and why parents are saying no for these early marriages. Unfortunately, it is understandable that parents they look at their kids are still still young and they're not ready for how they go to define

00:20:00--> 00:20:10

Someone to be ready. When this is someone that he is right now responsible means they have a stable jobs. They when they talk, they talk to him and respectful manner.

00:20:11--> 00:20:48

They know they have defined goals in their life and so on. That's when they start seeing that their children are ready for marriage. Let's say now we have a situation where the kid, he's not financially stable, but he's still in the heat. You know, we talk about Hey, women now? Absolutely can the parents even help out with financially supporting and even letting them live in the house, getting a room in the house and preserving that child rather than taking a chance? And now he slips up? And he goes and starts dating and fornicating? And, you know, doing the Xena and adult whatever? What do you think about that? I absolutely agree that if the parents would, would have the financial

00:20:48--> 00:21:00

ability to support their children before he went to school, that would be great help. I'm not saying that the kids not now they're going to be living in a perfect environment for a husband and wife. But at least that's better than doing something wrong, there is still a

00:21:01--> 00:21:37

plus, I would also suggest, at least, for just too easy to make things easier for the children, if you know that your son or your daughter that they would like to get man and they're still going to finish their school, why not then at least they facilitate the marriage for them by having the marriage contract done, which means they become islamically, and legally husband and wife, but still they delay what we call the consummation of marriage until more appropriate time. During that time, they have the liberty to stay together to be to have dinner together to come and visit you know, at home. Because islamically and legally considered husband and wife. The only thing that we are not

00:21:37--> 00:22:15

deferring and delay is the consummation of marriage, until we think that they're completely ready for that. So they could move to their own individual and premises, they have their own apartment, and they have finished the studies. And the guy is even a stable job and so on. But parents, they should try to help as much as possible in such you know, a heated culture like this in the 21st century, how could marriage save one actually from the Hellfire, but saves him a lot. I mean, it's enough for the person when they when they really feel fear of loss when they feel God. And they go and they just pursue this relationship in a lawful manner lawful way to avoid Of course, criminal

00:22:15--> 00:22:48

law. That's an act of worship at the worst and you're getting rewarded for that if you're doing the lawfully, even the Prophet Mohammed himself when he was suggesting the acts of charity, a person would do. The Prophet Mohammed, he said he mentioned things about marital relationship, things like for example, feeding your own your spouse to be on hand, that's an act of charity. And even someone approaching his desire in a lawful manner. It's an act so you're telling me that in marriage, lawful marriage, you having relationship with your wife, you getting your reward, rewarded for absolutely the Prophet Mohammed himself, he suggested he said that, he said, what the Buddha had to consider

00:22:48--> 00:23:21

that means someone approaches his spouse is, of course, within limits and pleasure, he will be rewarded for that, even as compared to they got shocked by the news, said, Yasser Allah or messenger from Allah, someone's going after is designed. And he goes on, he gets reward. I mean, I mean, just satisfying, rewarding thing by itself. So do you get also ahead of the reward for that? He gave him now the rationale for that. He said, What if this person does that in an unlawful way? wouldn't they be held accountable for that, and they'll be punished for that? He said, Yes, he said, O Messenger of Allah, he said, so the same thing, if he does that, in a lawful way, he should be rewarded for

00:23:21--> 00:23:59

that. So for Muslim, seeking, of course, marital relationship, and maintaining the marital relationship in a healthy way, the struggle itself, the struggle itself, which is called the jihad, and that's me just self, you know, education, itself, struggle against the hardships of marriage, the hardship of raising a family, it's all rewarding. Everything that you do, and that same kind of same understanding of, you know, getting the word from God, you will get that that's the beautiful thing in Islam, that all these acts, all these little things you do, they're considered acts of worship is exactly the angels writing down these deeds, everything, including you regular work when

00:23:59--> 00:24:32

you go out and work on earning for living, not to feed your family so that you don't go on your big other people for that, you will get your word for that even the Prophet Mohammed himself that Dirham, that the term which means the one one dinar looks like $1 that you spend on your family is more rewarding than the one that is spent in charity. Why is that? Because now you're just saving hard in order to save yourself and your family going out expose yourself to humiliation. So that's an act of worship by itself. So manage by itself is one gateway agenda to paradise. So those are interested in getting

00:24:33--> 00:25:00

marriage is one way of getting this however, you have to do it the proper way. Let's rewind for a second when we said we talked about how much reward and blessings you get feeding your wife having relations with your wife. How about you know some of our brothers who might have fallen into a trap now let's be real 21st century so you got you know, you walk out the door, you got to have the dress but they're not dressed and the brother falls now and he's this becomes like a disease. We know people that have been there and people

00:25:00--> 00:25:14

Are there right now? What advice do you have for them? How do they get out of this trap of chasing their desires? flipping the woman like changing your socks? How do you do? Well, this is something really serious. It's a serious disease that

00:25:15--> 00:25:47

is not just, you know, it's not just for the Muslim youth, it's for everybody. I mean, if you want to take advantage of this, of the environment, seeing, you know, if it's available, if pleasure is available for you for free, why should you go and you pay for it? Why should I, you know, open a house and bring some money, you know, and just basically face them every day and every night and view the hardships of those people, if I can get what I can, what I'm looking for, the main purpose is just designed, why should I even read the hardships of marriage. That's, that's a false concept. I mean, it just it just an incredible design. Sooner or later, this this now this power of the

00:25:47--> 00:25:57

energy field, will start fading out to the reality of life. And that's sort of where they realize how much they wasted their time. And even though it wasn't their energy, even the waste, even.

00:25:59--> 00:26:40

They're actually the dean and then the relationship with God, and something that should not be starting or doing in the first place. So for those people who are all getting into this, the prophet Mohammed has suggested that preserving yourself protecting yourself from committing Zina, and until you meet your Lord, there is no reward, but paradise an agenda. So it's again, it's not feeling itself, that urge, the more the more, you feel that you're into this desire. And then you hold yourself from this, the more reward your reward. Exactly. And you know that in self defense, I mean, you have to practice a lot self discipline. Yeah. So disciplining yourself, it's all about

00:26:40--> 00:27:14

discipline yourself. And I know most of those people that we're talking about over here, they're probably good Muslims. And they're good youth. Some of them even the fast amount of Ramadan. And just remember yourself, when you were fast in the month of Ramadan, who was holding you from drinking that cup of water, when you were by yourself in the office or in the neuron? Who was holding you for you from eating or from drinking, when you see everybody's enjoying the pleasure of this life? And you're just saying, No, I'm fasting, no one. But you were just really respecting the concept of fascinante formula, because it's solid for God. Islam, fasting itself is also teaches you

00:27:14--> 00:27:46

that self discipline, it does that and if you can do it during that month, this is we're training our souls to be able to do it through the whole year. That's why Saturdays, yeah, 30 consecutive days a month of Ramadan. Why is that because you know that you have to first First of all, if you don't want to start any practice, you have to warm up. And then when you warm up, you start the real practice, and then such course, you know, relaxing a little bit, that's exactly what that is all about. You start for 30 days. So you start warming up for the first few days. And then when you get adjusted to the system, that's when you start building that self discipline. And by the end of the

00:27:46--> 00:28:21

month of Ramadan, you know that it's coming very quick to an end, that's when you start, you know, worshiping even more the last 10 days of Ramadan. So that same thing you realize, if someone is going is actually facing this, this disease, of looking at what God allows for Rama, number four to them, or communities kind of since, first of all, there needs to know that there needs to stop, you know that you're already in a hole. And the first thing that you need to observe is to stop digging, which means you stop first, and then try to find out, find a way out of that hole. So by stopping first means that you now you put them to a halt and stop, then start reflecting and going back and

00:28:21--> 00:28:58

then now you start seeking that help. And of course you calling other people being in good company, it's very, very important. Try to avoid being around these areas will provoke your desire and of course provoke the shaitan and the evil want to go round gyms, seducing you to get back to that same path. Because if you're around people who are doing this, you're going to fall in that trap. Absolutely. So you got to watch out who you're hanging around with also, you should company is very, very essential and very crucial in life. Tell me this, how Islam, it preserves the rights of the woman it if you want to now be with this woman, you got to marry her you got to maintain her you got

00:28:58--> 00:29:38

to take care of her. when in actuality The man is like the wolf, trying to get the head. He's trying to use her abused her and leave her Islam says no, you cannot do that. In real life or within this culture. There are so many what we call them single parents. Yeah. But if you try just to watch and look at the ratio between single fathers and single mothers, there is no comparison. Most of those single parents are actually single mothers. Yeah, which means men unfortunately come and take advantage take advantage and then they just leave. Why is that because they can find a better opportunity. It's it's open, there is no restriction. But in Islam, it preserves the right of women,

00:29:38--> 00:29:59

rights of men as well and the marital relationship. So Islam, Islam, views marriage to be partnership, not ownership. And that's why even something in this culture when women they met, they get married, they change their last name to their husband's last name. But Islam does not allow women they should keep their last name, nor to remind them that you know, this is not

00:30:00--> 00:30:10

ownership, its partnership. So you have rights and obligations and the husband, you should observe the rights of your spouse. And also make sure that you know the obligation against you are

00:30:11--> 00:30:51

done correctly. And in the right time, the proper man proper etiquette, same thing the wife should also needs to observe the rights and obligations of her husband. So it has always been mentioned and regulated. Yes, it is just like any other Corporation. And then corporations usually have a head of the head of that Corporation. And usually men were given that, because it feeds and nurtures the ego, the way las panatela, God created us men and women, in a different way, however, would unique roles in order to compete to complete not to compete against each other, not to compete, so we compete one another, we don't compete against each other. So this was an obligation observed,

00:30:51--> 00:30:59

clearly. And I mentioned clearly in the Quran, and a traditional Providence, Providence, just a few more points, because we're almost out of time. What should

00:31:00--> 00:31:26

one look for in their spouse? The one they're going to marry? What should they look for the biggest bank account? The most perfect body? What should one look for? This is not it's about competitive. Yeah, who is the most compatible to you? It depends on how you look at what exactly your objective for matters. You see, most people, they have their own their own objectives and their own idealistic dreams about marriage. So for those who are just taking pleasure, and

00:31:27--> 00:32:10

love, passionate love, and so on, they would go after just the superficial public image, beauty, passions and stuff like that. For those who are more serious into the look into what is beyond that image, of course, we suggest and we recommend to have all good qualities in your spouse if you can. But the Prophet Muhammad himself, he suggested, he said that people usually they marry women for different qualities. And he counted four of them. He said, number one, for the for the beauty, for the wealth, for the lineage, of respectful in a family, and also for the religion for the Ministry of faith, faith and good character. Then he said, God forbid that the interpreter that means if you

00:32:10--> 00:32:50

can find that religious person, then go ahead, don't mess that up, let just the best quality, the best quality, and even for men, he suggested to parents and guardians, when you when you receive someone, perspective, husband, your daughter, who was religious and have a good character, you should not say no to this person. Why is that? Because this religious person, he holds these principles of justice of mercy. And if he loves her, you will be so generous with her. But if he does not likely, is not going to be unjust. So what's better if the guy comes to marry the doctor? He's a doctor, PhD, but he's missing the salon and his,

00:32:51--> 00:33:25

you know, faith is not that high. He's like what they call a Ramadan Muslim. But he's a doctor. But then you got the other brother. You know, he's making ends. He's doing okay, but he makes two five times prayer. He has the taqwa the consciousness of his creator. What do you do? I would absolutely choose the faithful one. The faithful because of his faith was sincere about his faith is going to be faithful and sincere for me. This guy's a doctor though. It doesn't matter. He can read her policy. She got a condition you can help her out. Yeah, sure. But what if he What if he doesn't respect my daughter? What if he's not gonna really take this you know, tuna professional, you can

00:33:25--> 00:34:03

say, look, this is my son in law. Dr. Parker, Dr. Hussain is not going to help my daughter and her relationship with her spouse. It's all about it's all about, you know, being happy with each other. That's the most important thing. And what really brings happiness to the life of people mostly, is that being so happy about the relationship with God? Number one, because if you do so you have that peace of mind, and peace in that heart. And that's when you become immune. If you're faithful to the Lord, you will be faithful to your spouse. Why is that because you believe in this. It's a message and you believe that marriage is a religious institution that is initiated by God and the Quran,

00:34:03--> 00:34:43

Allah subhanho wa Taala called it meetup and Elena would like to make a closing Anasazi meetup Angelina is strong covenant, God calling the Quran called marriage a strong covenant, which means it's not something that's you know, you you miss you miss with, you play with you kind of do that. It's not about you know, convenience. Now, you know, I like this latest, I'm going to get married to her. And then a few few months later, you're going to go into it for divorce. Why? Because, you know, it's none of others. It's me tapping on either marriage was made to be continuous relationship between a husband and wife. And therefore, it was it was observed as a mythical religious covenant.

00:34:43--> 00:35:00

God is overlooking all these relationships. And therefore, you see the regulations of marriage are found in a court and the traditional Prophet Mohammed. They were not left for people to go and regulate for themselves. Otherwise, people are going to be biased against each other. Men will be biased against women and men will probably

00:35:00--> 00:35:08

will take advantage in certain times against men. So what's the solution was always preserved in the faith itself. So it isn't enemies.

00:35:09--> 00:35:49

And people should respect marriage to be a strong religious covenant, I want you to please can you get inshallah, to the parents and to the youth, give us some advice and some closing comments, as well. So my son in law, he recommended that for those young people, if you can't, if you have the financial and the physical ability to get married, you should not spend a moment and you should go and go and apply and propose. And if you are not able to do something, here recommend another solution temporarily, at least. And that is to go for fasting. Because fasting gives again, the person self discipline. So it teaches you to discipline yourself and observe the consciousness of

00:35:49--> 00:36:24

God, then your lifetime, so not to fall into these mistakes and harm. And for the parents, I would like to commend and suggest to make things easier for our youth. Those young people right now they're suffering from high salaries and Middle and High expenses of marriages, and therefore they're trying to wait longer and longer in order to get that it's not about you know, cultural event that you do not to just to depart from from front of the public, it's going to be one day one night, and people probably they will drink that night regret that night for the rest of their lives. So make it easier for our kids and make it easier for them. I understand that you would like them to

00:36:24--> 00:36:54

be responsible, and they should be responsible. And I also recommend that you don't really help anyone who's completely irresponsible, but we need to help them to understand the concept of responsibility, the concept of in house on a be a family person, make things easier for them. And the last panel put Baraka and their marriages. He was the one that the prophets, Ellison said, a fella who number one, Corona Baraka is the less the more the more Baraka blessing Will you will find in this meta relationship 100

00:36:55--> 00:36:58

say thank you so much for coming on.

00:36:59--> 00:37:25

Thank you. Thank you for coming to LA. like to thank all our viewers who tuned in for another episode on the deen show, trying to help you understand and see how Muslims tackle these very important issues today we covered marriage, inshallah. We'll have the shake back again for another hot topic. Please visit the website, check out our video page, other topics that we've covered. Until then we'll see you a Salaam Alaikum peace BMT.