More Than A Feeling Love Islam Full Presentation
Channel: Yaser Birjas
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Episode Transcript ©
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First of all I would like to thank the community of Colorado for
just as important as really such as love in Islam
for hosting this event
for us students of Dana dream program, we're coming here
to give a special thanks so much for coming and support the
question, Does our love of the show hands, those are falling in love, raise your hand.
Raise your hand.
is one of these mysteries that are lost
in mankind. And no one
knew what love is.
For every almost every speaker, every philosopher, everything that you can see and get a completely different idea.
So you need
to show your love is just a show of hands again.
Raise your hand.
Put your hands on.
Most likely, those who see their hands up, most likely, they're not married to the person with whom they fell in love.
Most likely, most likely, they're married to someone who was not the first.
And if you look at the demand for 15 years, 20 years, more or less?
And if you ask them will that be first?
Second, perhaps. And then if I didn't go
I stopped counting.
Why? Because naturally as human beings as human beings, we tend to we don't have those feelings.
Our first love Union would be someone in the middle
as much as would be in the
in the Islamic school.
Somewhere there. That's how we had the first meetings, but they're
that we mature we get mad.
So when you have those feelings, what do you feel about? How did
you come to
When it comes to love is something
that is unchangeable and doesn't change. Watch away How can we understand love?
I'm going to talk to
you about the subject the meaning of love.
How can we make sense of love and then perhaps give you some tips on how you can handle this issue at home.
Come back again with those who are
Okay, now what does love What does it matter to love if you're against it or for you know what?
Those are for the winter.
So it's the same thing when it comes to love What does matter to you when it comes to the winter? What is the matter? What is it?
What is it?
What does it matter to you when it comes to the winter? What should we do about winter?
It doesn't matter what you don't like cold water. Fine, but are you preparing for
Are you preparing for? That's exactly the same thing when it comes to things like natural things such as love, it's gonna happen one day, you know, we already knew what it is.
It's not about you being against it, as much as Are you ready for?
Can you speed up
the pace of season? Can you speed up the pace of winter to come quickly or leave faster than usual, you can't do anything. So it comes to love, it's the same thing shouldn't be pushing the father of religion of witness, but somehow look different from what we can do something about the subject of love. So when it comes to the meaning of love is one of these greatness does not say that, if there is anything, if there's anything in this life, that causes nonsense to make all sense, there will be no one because made a good becomes bad. And the bad becomes the truth becomes the light and the light comes through the possible becomes impossible and impossible suddenly become more possible,
when it comes to law makes all this nonsense, so that
you can blinded by the screen. It is also so mysterious, because like I said that you will see the majority of people who are the majority of the majority married,
happily married, not be
the person with whom they fell in love first and the
first time and then suddenly fell out of love. And then back again. And then again and again. And somehow sometimes you get attached emotionally. But then specific. When you go through specific emotional training as well. Suddenly it changes. Then you see another person and another person, another person. I've always had this feeling, but what can we do about them? And how can our team from these
become devastating if you don't have it under control? When it comes to Islam.
He was our best example musicians made a profit
to more than
anyone, we have those feelings to live with
them and Allah gave them that opportunity to do so. So that as we learn,
we learned an example for sort of
most religious, the most fearful to last panel medalla even the Messenger of Allah
can imagine today when it comes to religious people.
Religious is enough
for other people, but being religious, they cannot associate
the religious, conservative, the moderate, and it doesn't want to get across the mind people might come for a company.
When he one day he gets a football and he says some of
the most difficult last following.
But then he himself also one day was asked about the white
If a man who is the most beloved to what this man mean by that
does not necessarily mean that he's saying to him that you know about what he's asking me about something else that other people saw.
He also asked that directly the way the question was directed. When he was asked.
he didn't even say my wife didn't say Omar. It didn't say that.
He just said it was
even the question was surprised and stunned by the
manager. I'm talking about man. I'm not talking about I'm not talking about
the province of Allah.
to her he could have said my friend My best friend.
And that's natural because we're
newlyweds over here. But the beautiful experience in the beginning of the relationship they stop admiring and liking everything about their husband or wife from the first day second mental love.
Even if Smith would be so cute.
Now many people they believe that you cannot marry
someone you love.
You have to love the person before he married him or her as a man.
So when it comes to the subject of love, we have learned we inherited from this culture we've inherited from this culture. That is everything is about trauma. In children, we raise our kids by reading fairy tales for them. And what is
the brand's charm, mad princess XYZ, because they fell in love with her
Unbelievable. And because again, because she is beautiful, she has to be perfect as
they keep injecting everything that you mean.
Now, and once you watch TV series, everything once
that make your mind everybody else business.
Just check these magazines, and whatever.
So they make you
That's it for months. Unbelievable.
What happened to them.
Just make you think that love is all everything.
And it was true that love is enough to sustain a relationship, you will not have a 58% divorce rate in America.
Isn't that the same culture that teaches love to be everything.
And then you cannot marry someone unless you love them. So what
was happening to love. So
it's not something fixed. And it does much.
I want those young ones to know that don't even try it. Now.
If you try
these tingling feelings in your heart, and your ears
the name of the events and saw they become so dangerous, and they might become even so
why again, because it'd be just, in fact the idea.
Okay, but didn't you learn from these examples from other friends circles that all of these people
Because we love each other?
Well, they're different.
Not everything is perfect in our relationship. I guess they don't want to say the same thing.
So if you go this route you can have to be prepared for and you're going to have to make sure that you're different when it comes to the issue of love.
One of the major components of a happy relationship.
man among the signers, this causes one of the greatest challenges in this creation. And among the signers This
created from amongst yourself spouse as well from the man
and the woman is gonna
make us go no lie so that you might find
any place between your heart
and Mercy in
Science, he began with saying, there are signs.
And he also can
look at these signs again.
What do you know?
I mentioned this in the context. So in the context of mentioning great miracles, the creation of math, and the creation of the earth and the heavens, the creation of different languages and the creation of
dimension and many
dimensions, the creation of man and woman.
One of these mysteries of his creation is a man,
you know, to find a spouse, and
eventually they have this attraction to each other.
Men will have attraction to women, women are not attracted to men in this culture, in all cultures, there's something wrong.
But at least they said, there's something wrong. It is natural for a man to get attracted to a woman. It's natural for a woman to attractive to a man. That's how we've been designed. And the last panel that I made this, one of the most of us cringe
worthy, it be hard to, there are
you can't control.
When the focus of sensors was used to distribute the provision among his wife,
my Lord, is my division in that which I can control
in the division among his wife,
don't hold me accountable, don't blame me for without.
And I speak about his heart.
Women has a great Muslim scholar.
He said in his book, he asked the question
of love is
another band or whatever, in Islam, because it's in the heart is something in the heart and the hearts are under the control of
how the laws hold us accountable for things.
So when you have this is a natural thing.
But how are we going to not be held accountable for that?
been the governor,
the governor of La it's a beautiful
he says love is it.
Which means doesn't happen by choice.
When it comes to
love is it by choice or by legacy, those who say that luck happens by force,
by force which really just falls upon you and you wake up in law.
Those who say that luck is by force
So, whatever happens to justify
as a matter of fact,
love happens by force and by choice.
Because its primary stages happen by choice, but the end result might be combined by what
if someone has in his mind that he wants to say to get married, so what this person is going to be
an openness is someone he gets a try. He says, they speak together, she falls in love with that person out of character Mashallah.
So now because they've decided to follow love, they opened their heart.
But sometimes people will say,
how's that? We just you see some, and it's weird that your heart just completely got attached to this.
He said based on this, no one knows.
Allah, Allah Subhana, WA tada commands.
Because if you're not ready for
the last power command
on the subject
during the winter break in California
in a storm, so one of these things about
again, because the results of
they might be overwhelming.
So to protect ourselves to protect our heart last concept, don't open that gate that leads to the home, keep it close, until you're ready.
Because once you open that around,
then you fall in love with multiple people get the idea out of your mind. They say psychologically speaking, whenever they look someone in the eye, and you admire that image,
them, it's the moments of
telling you know, there's going to be rewarding, there's going to be rewarding. So because it's going to be
more and more, and when you get disappointed, becomes committed to the brain, and that's why you have all these mixed emotions. And that's why
you're not ready for it. Just protect yourself. It's not that hard for a man to admire his wife. Now it's hard for a man
with no control otherwise they're gonna hurt themselves first of all, everybody else also realize that a lot of us just like a man
I have everything
but just Can you please allow me just make
a look at this young man.
I want to do a quick
tour on to adult men to female
so don't be the reason for you to submit something along with someone else. Sister mother concern because my practice backfire on you protect yourself and your family as well.
So last month, I called this man for his feelings. He didn't say
sometimes parents, when they come to them have those feelings and for the kids for the young ones. These are just like everything that they want to fly.
Within these buildings are the most precious. If you tell them no, you're devastated. You broke my heart.
But because we think that these are the ultimate you know, feelings, and that's why become very active
those things I would love to share with you. Number one,
how to love you explains how to fix them. Now I'm sure that most of us when we say the word love comes to our mind. When I say the word love, what is the image that comes to you, in your mind associated with the word love? What is it?
love, love what is most people that have this
beautiful, intimate feelings between you know, two individuals together.
a specific image. How many of you would associate love with carrying trash from the house outside enough to
associate love? was the man working
with woman sacrificing herself and your life for the children?
We have our own perception about the subject and the quality of service. They say the counselor said the two theories about subjective
course based on the perception that love should have an end result.
And when I say what should what should the end result
The young man
what exactly they're trying to pursue these fields? What is it executive
to fall in love?
above the clouds.
But do they have any idea what
an experience so they say that customers have two major fears about the subject of law number one, because the bank accounts the bank account account. Whenever people they fall in love together, when they do they always come to the opposite.
So this means that you come to the house cutting flowers, chocolate, nice gifts is big, so sweet, all these kind of things and guess what he's sending deposits into that account. And again, with that he comes with these beautiful little memories and feelings smiles, we thought that song, she's busy, Sasha was an investment that he's putting his finger he
said when when the remixes are now also investing in his account. And she says all these deposits of sweet talk of nice feelings, you know, a beautiful evening and so forth, all this kind of thing, what happens to those deposits. And
from the demand side Now, with this investment, they understand, they say, what happens nothing in a relationship after some time, when a man and woman they stayed together for so long or for long enough, basically, they start losing interest.
The investment was not as as well as they hoped.
So as a result
in college, people just follow up and then grow up
and then throw up and see this guy who has been with 10 years.
And this version five, one a guide, actually,
what the what is what exactly are they doing? They're not using the energy of love and challenge.
This date of love as feeling I was feeling it fluctuates. So it's never actually there's no commitment
was the result of love which is marriage. Very, very important. So remember, so if you would like to have that relationship to continue, then you need to commit that's one thing secondary they say because the gas
gas tank, account locked bank account, whatever, whatever if you're going
on a journey together the driver seat and the linear
every actually and a couple of American men for many years they will tell you It begins with Mashallah would love the audience with a lot of love and energy but then it starts fading out somehow. So what happened over here
for the goddess
how often and how often is
the woman most women was stopped for gas most likely would be actually close to the last quarter hour ago and hence below half. This Dr. Phil mostly
most of them say close to the last quarter or last one says that they will just start to ask the guys what do you guys stop for gas
when the light goes on.
Why? Because they take as long as it's running
through find a match Don't touch it don't stop keep going. We
now have an insurance and intellectual
relationship so let's investigate if you guys have done this talk because we lose momentum. We're gonna lose ground somehow. That's why the
so the gentlemen young man who came to the hotel, he can so when we are in the car so how am I caught it the gas meter the light was already on
So first of all that said about maybe seven months, because
last drop, to the last drop. And that's why as a marriage counselor myself, when it comes to counseling, most of those who come asking for help and assistance are the ladies.
The guys are willing to
get divorced. And they never admit there was anything wrong.
I'm just giving you a
the meaning of these two examples. Because this issue tells you that love is very, very practical.
It's not just about feelings and emotions. It's much more than
they want all the active philosophers opinions about love. Somebody says something spiritual, some may say is something physiological, even some
issue soulmate that deal of soulmates in addition to theory.
He believes that men are created for nature. And you see that the soul they live in the upper universe. And when they meet, they get attached, and have this attachment happens in the real world, that this relationship will be in relationship. If not, there'll be some trouble. It just like basically forcing us forcing a piece of the puzzle on space. Sometimes we have to fix it and brush it from the side, which is gone. Make
about the subject of soulmate, our
majority says love is all about
And that's all people say I fall in love with the image immediately. They want to see okay, let's talk.
And when they talk, they don't see the substance. So what happened?
Why don't people
follow up with the most beautiful and what's the relationship between love and image? If it hasn't answered this question.
in our perception as human beings, we all associate we all associate beauty with what
can you guess?
He said, we all associate beauty with perfection.
Yeah, when you see a beautiful a perfect design building is
running so fast. And what is it? My god, that was beautiful.
The only thing that this was designed and run so fast. So why don't we describe it would be beautiful? Because there's no perception of perfection. You see a nice golden, very fabric.
So perfect. What did
you say? It's beautiful. In our language, even we incorporate this as a concept. We all associate love with perfect.
Beauty and then in terms of you know, the end
catches except that reception is perfect. That's why when a man sees a beautiful woman, he falls in love with her because she's beautiful. And this minor she's perfect. Whenever she sees a handsome guy, and she falls in love with him. She is beautiful, handsome. So he's perfect.
Did you talk to her, there is no need
to talk to the guy
in English, it doesn't matter.
He is perfect because he's so handsome. She's beautiful.
accident, just when we have math in the best form. So when we see that we consider this perfect form.
So this is for the young men and women when you see someone in school and you fall in love with them because they're handsome. They're cute, the beautiful this is our saw, immediately your brain conditioning you that this image has to be the perfect one.
It's not like this jerk that I've seen enough.
A few months back, and she's not like this on the ship.
We are not alive.
But we associate professional images. And that's why he says, you know, it's not true because he was opposite in reality.
I'm sure that you have seen people that are mad at a lot. And we look at them next to each other said,
very interesting couple of months.
Because you wonder how they
mean He is so handsome, she's not that much.
She's so beautiful the guys.
But then he was wondering what happened is what's happened is, he
hasn't explained also the theory and he says, when it comes to love, this is love and beauty associated together. But it always love the beauty is in the eyes of people.
And love is in the eye of the beholder. And that's why many people they follow up with characteristics, besides the superficial beauty
they will see
no one else really can see that so they can see through intuition for us.
Which is one way of guessing and touching into
these feelings and our perceptions of people. Somehow so when it comes to the issue of love Now, remember that it's not about just you know, having
just in one
It's a story about a woman she said that
her husband was was the most loving person. And then
not, they weren't.
And then she said that she was having so many tea or coffee as he was walking through the room.
He jumped out of his chair and tried to catch my breath. This
I was so nice Marshall, he just jumped to protect yourself.
She goes next year, they can remember that. Sure. But
it was the same hotel. But eventually she was walking to the room.
extend that love when it
comes to the question of love
for the beginning and that's what to bring us back again to the beginning. Allah says
two different degrees of love to a different division.
Absolutely. Aspirin is mercy love.
When you when you check your your baby child, the child is sick, his clients have
the mixture of emotions, most of it when the child is sick, you have
mercy, that completely and completely those emotional feelings. Why is that because that's another form of love.
Experiments both of them have been the different shades of love. And he said these shades of love, they go up to 60 that's why they are the climate. They're more than 60 different words to describe
Each one of them gives you the meaning of love from a different perspective. So when you say in the Arabic language
means that time love love with kindness. When you have
it is love with last. When you have we are that means love with nonsense. someone's getting insane because of that. We have all these other shades of luck
when it comes to is one of these things and I suspect most of it for the longest time.
For the past 20 years,
they're always in trouble. They always find or argue, but they never they decided that I will never make
And they both agree on that will never divorce. Why is that the last? Ask them both. The guy will say alive.
She will say, sorry for him.
Most marriages run on
this view of that it's an amazing view
for the longest time.
Which again, tells you guys
love is not just more than winning it's way beyond the issue.
is a very practical religion.
I have no idea.
you choose to follow up, or
How's that, if you're still in high school, you know, that you cannot find find all the odds of this life to say I want to get married, and then move on, just defy all the odds of your life.
To all these things, because we've got to
be reasonable, and be practical. And know that at the time you complete life.
Number one young man,
he came to me and
he told me
you're 16 years
old, but I want you to help me to help me with what
Because the 16th
boys and girls living the dream of
I have no right to tell them listen.
stop. And the further they go. It doesn't matter.
So this is all nonsense
with you, but they're very difficult. It's like this young man, he goes
he said to me, he said,
believe me, I even have my ID on my
iPhone, so much.
So much mercy for now
of how to do that. And
then he said, How can you help him? I said, Let's talk.
Let's talk a plan. If you want to marry this girl, when the land
doesn't show when I finish school, and I go to college, and finish the college, and then find a job. And when we
said that's great. How long would that take to calculate?
Seven years. I said trust me seven years from now will be that we will not be the same person as a
completely different personality. Besides, the more you go on a vacation, chances are you start changing your perception of love manage the person that you want. And that's why for those who are engaged in college, and they make the engagement very long engagement, I tell them please, please.
Because the longer the engagement is
because you learn more because what experience is such as your perception of people, even five years ago
I'm dealing with a scenario when people they bet against the parents.
They come often for counseling
or they're going
Most people, why? Because
So what can we
First and foremost,
I agree with
you, as you just take the
shut it down completely, trust me, if they don't listen to that they gotta find someone else to talk
front, you should be the one that is the distance to them, and help them go.
Again, that doesn't mean to agree with what I'm saying, you need them to feel confident.
My son, that would be good. If you initiate the conversation.
Even if it was then most
is gamma. So therefore, to be nice.
If you can see that your your vote,
they will come to you.
But if you're not against them, and not sure that message
from someone else who can understand their feelings, and their emotions.
Also, give them confidence, please, your kids when
they feel vulnerable,
and you work
They've developed a new purpose for life.
For them, those feelings are a new purpose for one
personnel do not do not make a complete destroy their new purpose of life to the extent that it is possible. And that's what is drawn. getting depressed. And expressing interest in my relationship is variable.
I hope that
that will cover the issue of love.
It's not just something I feel it's the whole composition that you need to realize in the practicalities and results. There's so much
so if you're not ready for it, don't stop.
You're emotionally ready. But practically speaking, can you handle it?
Okay, so based on this
we're just friends.
I guess we got
a new video on Facebook and YouTube on
that young guy who went to the library in Iowa and he was interviewing all these men and women, young students and
ask him a simple question. He was asking simple, very simple question. Do you think man woman can be just 1000s
of all the women he interviewed? They often they say, yeah, yeah.
All the guys they interview they'll say
All these men out there agree without getting together
in the locker and they argue that they ought to be
men would say no.
But because women is overcome, and
I can make them. I can't stop things from happening.
It's very, very serious matter as a practical matter.
When you're in school, here it is.
It's not, it's not a trivial thing. It's not a joke, we can joke about
that it starts with joking
So if you're not going to ever fire, so what
is the key point? So what are the what's
the whole society
You so for the guards
for the lady some of the girls, and sometimes we have to do some blue horizontal because the pockets for college, we have to deal with the opposite gender. Now set limits and be respectful of other people that they know, the limits how much they can go into the conversation. That doesn't mean to be weird.
To be competent, to have character.
I'm not saying that.
But I'm saying, we all come
sooner or later. If you have an
issue, don't keep it to yourself, you have to come and talk to them. Hopefully, they can help you with that. If you don't think you're capable of solving this problem, do you need to seek a counselor in your community, community
to help you with that. You want to build
trust, and you can talk to them. But just don't find the secret yourself. And your your closest friend might not be the best advisors. You know why? Because your best friends, guess what? They can tell you what you'd like to do?
They got you right, you should have done this.
They want you to feel good, that's all.
Good morning, we actually might backfire on you. If we did not give you the right advice. So always, always have that confidence
in your community around you. And don't confine this to the companies themselves.
I'm Tom, I'm finishing high school next year.
think about matters at all, which is practical applications for schools. But you need to make this you have to give them a time.
Give them a
big crash in the Muslim community today. Most of our news does not matter. And they stay until past
becomes too late.
Why is that? Because they've never planned for
their plan for their education. They
never planned, meaning they've never set a goal by 2013 2013.
They never done they just were not ready.
When things happen. When I you know find a job.
Guess what, you will never have to fulfill your goals. So my boss
He said five years of data. So for the first four years of your
life, your indication, your spirituality, your social intelligence, people and so on until the last year, that's when you become serious about the subject. Open up a proposal.
Again, Islam love is more than just as this is something practical, something to
worry about, is that what you need to care about. And that's what
in for, for the love of our lives. He wants me to fall in love so
well, a lot of them
may not ask you to take steps. So therefore I would say never ever blame you for the wrong thing.
And always work to show a lot of data in a company on achieving deltas right