Love for your Family
Channel: Yaser Birjas
File Size: 25.51MB
Episode Transcript ©
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just don't want to talk to one another. Let me show real personality. Yeah Marlena. Yeah they love Allah. Allah. Allah, Allah Allah Allah.
Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah. Allah Allah, masha Rama mama then after so yeah I'm gonna talk a lot how to audit while
hunting Mr. Moon
yeah you're not to talk about Buck Mala they fell about two minutes
but let's come into marriage Alan cafiero What is a couple Allah Allah DECA Salma Eva in Allah can Alec motiva yeah Medina I'm gonna talk a lot oh cool little golden said either. Use that to my Malakai I also look
for my Yoda Allah Hora sola for the class of course and Lima. Allah, Allah. And that's an uncut, uncut on the life of God, God will have you had you. Had you Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, Bathsheba lumu, the title of that in vida, Aquila,
Aquila. And not so my my body but Allah, my the brothers and sisters,
my brothers and sisters, if you'd be shopping lately, in the past few days, have you noticed that everything is turning into red?
Everything has turned into red flowers, chocolate, balloons, and everything is promoting one theme. And that is the theme of love.
As Muslims, you just cannot avoid being affected by these things. You have children.
And you're young. And even if you're adult in your 50s or 60s, you can I just avoid reflecting on these things? Have you prepared yourself to answer that question? When you're trial, particularly teenagers, they ask you? What's the problem? Why can't just sort of read this or that? Why is that a lot for us to have, you know, boyfriend or girlfriend? Are you prepared to answer these questions?
You can't just let the season pass by without being proactive as a parent without being prepared as an individual man or woman. And as the only ones as well. what answer do you have to your friends?
When you go to school or college, and they ask about these things, what answers they have to these issues are related to the subject of love and emotions. You know, unfortunately, our children, our youth, our families, young couples these days are growing up in a culture that is completely completely distorted distorting reality for them.
When it comes to the ideals of love and marriage, they're just very tense. Even though the most the thing that they promote the most is love, in spreading their realities, high rate of divorce, breakups, dating doesn't work for them, and many, many things that say the same thing they're looking for and been trying to achieve and good is not helping them either. Subhanallah the idea that they're teaching others, not helping you think is only among Muslim issue. Muslims, they're falling into the same trap as well.
I'm not going to ask you to raise your hands. But I'm sure that perhaps maybe almost 70% of Muslims in America, they have international salaries at home.
And they have their families, their wives feet in particular, you know, watch these TVs and see these as Turkish and seated and Pakistanis and so on, all day and all night. What are they watching for them?
It wasn't them sitting in front of the TV, crying their eyes out for a love story, that if one of their children's tries to do that to do in reality, they will do big problems with it.
So they just live in virtual life. And they're building ideas that don't exist in reality, what they don't realize and even those actors in real life, it has sustained relationship. They can't have a happy marriage. Because when it comes to reality, has completely different rules. As Muslims, were going to learn these idols about love about marriage. When you're a child, when your child asked you that question, do you have an answer?
What else are you going to your children? What are your terms of reference? And what are resources when you talk to your children? In this group, I would like to share with you one of the most important resource about the subject of love and marital life. None other than the sort of life of a loved one is
none other than the messenger of allah sallallahu alayhi wa salam ala the best Roma
Did Allah subhanho wa Taala send them to mankind as off material Alamy mercy to mankind mercy to the world and what does that exactly mean? It
wasn't he sent to us to follow his example? We don't want more money nice.
She was asked about Fulco Nabi SallAllahu wasallam so we had over 1 million if she was asked, Hey, what kind of follow up on the base of Allah Himself?
Out of all the Allahu Taala Mmm hmm. Can put
his love his manners. What's the Quran and Sunnah? And what does that exactly mean? Allah subhanho wa Taala asserts that again in the Quran, we're in Nikka Lana Fulton, you are on a hammock at a very high level. Very high standard of character. Yeah, Muhammad is a very high level and standard of character. So a lot of labels around money for us to follow. We're looking for meaning was asked the question, how was the slot and the man of the Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Do you think that question I didn't know about as Allah. So Allah, Allah wa salam ala in public, they knew
they see him every day. They interact with them in public. But what was the question?
The question was about the thing that every husband, every night, Greg's mother asked her when someone asked him that question as their wives or their children, How's your dad?
And when his wives asked, how's your husband at home? How does he treat you? That's what men what men, they fear the most to be exposed. Why is that? Because as humans, we have sometimes double standards.
We have to face the public face and the priorities. The public face is the happiest place
but the private one, Allah Allah, that's a different thing.
I must mandate
that the children and their spouses are constant question. You know what I just brought the issue right now I saw many faces just looking down.
Because we all know it's reality. But Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam. The people they wanted to know how it was sold. So they came to me Manisha How was a slap on the wrist of the lives which means how does he treat you guys and
I shall be allowed that I'm actually going to count all his beautiful love and money.
But she wants to cut it throat to them said listen, just like saying Don't waste your time. Kind of holding
his Athlon is the balance. Which means don't waste your time looking and digging digging into the private line of Rasul Allah Azza wa sallam he doesn't have
he doesn't have two faces or multiple faces like many people might have. He doesn't have that Salado southern because Carnival is a flood his manners was
one one standard of character so Allah Medusa and one set of ethics and all his practices sort of off the line was that on Monday, I showed the Allah Tala and how she knew because she left with and she sold that's why I assume Allah has Salado said Allah He loved her so much. Oh, one more million Ayesha and speaking about the prophets of Allah Salah as a as an ideal husband, as a beautiful man, family, man. So Allahu wa salam ala, when it comes to love, when it comes to love, he was Mala in Oman,
because his story is real. It's not very,
it's not a fantasy. It was.
It was reality and it should not be allowed. And she knew that
Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam one of these beautiful memories and gestures that he loved his wife SallAllahu wasallam. Genuinely, you know, when it comes to loving your spouse, it's an attitude. People they come with a lot of baggage into the relationship and everybody's expecting that for the other party to start first.
And because of that kind of competition, who's going to be the first person to move on forward with that relationship? We have a lot of troubles in the Americans. But love is is attitude you come with an attitude positive attitude towards that Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam he managed a digital yella with Ivana who was even older himself on two levels.
And for now, he's got all his children so there was a loss and I'm going to accept for a while he said he did on the Allahu Allah Mmm hmm. She took care of him. So a lot of lie was that Imani over 20 years. And then when she passed away, he never forgot her memories.
Now when he used to be receive gifts, he would distribute things and he would say give this to so and so because she was a friend of Tunisia.
And when he collect these, he goes go and send this to the Friends of Khadija. And when all of these women are friends they come by the prophets of Allah will be cheerful says she was a friend of Khadija. What
About that I'm not even his wife. Aisha got jealous. She was jealous from the memories. Khadija heater was wrong. But she was so jealous that I wish that you could remember me as much as you remember.
But what does that tell you? How much love he has a lot allows that um, I could have eaten even though after long she's she's gone.
And because of that when one time I said she tried, she tried to compete with South Asia in front of the prophets, all of a sudden he got very upset with Okada, sallAllahu wasallam Hinduism to, to this. I was filled with love for for Khadija, and basically I loved her so much. And she also loved me or the Allahu Taala and how Allah
He counted all her virtues.
Listen, she listened to me when everybody was not. She assisted me with her money and their wealth when everybody was holding their money for me. She was the first to believe but everybody denied me. And he says counting all the virtues. I wonder how many husbands dare to mention the virtue of their wives in front of other people.
And here's Rasul Allah is Allah Azza wa sallam come to the virtue of his wife. It's not weakness, to acknowledge that because of your wife and your spouse, you become
that is that Rasul Allah so Allah has to give everybody the heart and the height that they deserve.
I felt the Allah who came next. And when I'm going to ask for the Allah one in public, they asked also Allah is so Allah, they will send them Yama. So Allah will not have Ganassi Lake, who is the most beloved to you? Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, Assad must do the truth command. He didn't say That's none of your business. And they didn't say he just immediately naturally he said her issue, which means there's no question.
There's no second thought about that's eyes. He didn't even say my wife, or Omar Abdullah. He said, Hi, she, even Ahmed who asked the question was shocked. He was no, no, I'm talking about many Isola.
But the question was direct, who was the most beloved to you? He said,
and he said in Republic, so I'm asking this man by Dr. Van starch, and of course it was everywhere. But at least when it comes to acknowledging that to be genuine about and here's us know, Allah, spontaneously, he just gave the answer handshake, of your loved one Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he even took it to the next level. He took that to the next level. He said, Hi, Rocco. Hello, Camilla. So listen, the best amongst you to the men are those protests, or those who are wrestling family? And then he said SallAllahu wasallam. Well, Anna, Pyromania, and the best of my family, what is he trying to tell us our lives. So listen, you want to be good. Be good to family.
Forget about being good to your neighbors, being good to all these people around you, co workers, this and that, and so on. And then you ruin your relationship with their families, says you need to be good. You'd be good from inside first, then you become good outside.
Because if you're good inside the house, will Allah he will do it outside.
But if you're good on the outside, doesn't want to be a successful relationship inside. Because it's much challenging. It's much more difficult.
That's why Allah so Allah is so Allah Sam said, Listen,
I'm the best to my family is asking a salatu salam to follow his lead and follow his example.
How was that? How can you be the best to your families, there are so many characteristics men and women, they look for in relationships. And if you ask women, if you ask these ladies, what exactly they want the most from my husband and I do a lot of marriage counseling. And when I ask them exactly, it's always the same thing over and over. What men look for in any relationship is respect.
They want to respect respect in ways that are meaningful to them. That's how they say the word love.
Which means if you love me, you respect me, which includes making the food if you go to the children, they get my family and my my parents and so on all these things for them, max of respect and acts of love. They are meaningful to the man, but they're not necessarily meaningful to the woman.
I want to ask any lady, she would say love that's what she looks for the most. But what is the meaning that is not just buying flowers and chocolates is much more than this by showing it and actually being respectful as well understand here are some of the qualities the some of the qualities that are Sorolla is
So what it was, he had as a great husband, so Allah, Allah He was, number one.
He was very understanding. So Allah Allah, Allah, when you check, what is this ladies and whoever was Kula is Allah Azza wa they love the Bible. So Allah the most and he was very gentle, very kind very understand. Like one of these occasions, I shall not be allowed or not she said our civilized before the I shall call our ally in the island Mata Cooney and Iranian woman.
He said by Allah, I know when you are happy with me, and when you're unhappy, I can tell she was happy.
When you're happy with me, you would say hello to the hammer. No by the Lord.
And when you're unhappy, you would say Kerala, Abu Ibrahim, no BY THE LORD OF THE Brahim.
And she responded to that in a loving nature. She goes well Allah hails from Allah manager of investment, I'm only avoiding your name that so
which means the love is confirmed under supporting your name and that moment. So even when they're upset, they understand each other Subhan Allah rasool Allah, he understood the language of his wife. Every woman would love to see her husband being so much understanding.
In another occasion, one day Rasul Allah, Allah so Allah Salah during the reason he was in the house, and he had been over here, over here, the other seniors as they were playing with the swords, making, like the festivity and the show, and then as if people were watching, were happy with that. So they heard the clanging of all these swords and armor and so forth. And he looked at the audition, she kind of showed some curiosity.
And as her husband, he looked at her, he realized that she was trying to pay attention to what's going on. So without Tarot OSCON he sets up a lot of Salah Do you want to watch?
Do you want to watch he knew what she was asking me what you're looking for. She didn't have to ask. She said yes. And then the prophets of Allah says Good for him. He remained standing for us. She came from behind them, covering basically hiding behind the prophets of Allah Salam, her chin on his shoulder, and her cheek was on his cheek as it was graded Messiah behind.
She said, Tara, also Allah Azza wa sallam, he stood up for me.
And he kept standing, my best part will have the eyelid handed my chin was on his cheek Salatu was Salam. And then after some time, you know how many now it's about just you know, getting five minutes and that's it.
So he turned to ash I says,
visibility on there out because I didn't call it last night.
Which most men sometimes reading and asking that question
because it is gonna take forever. But here's also love without any complaints is still for her. She was watching.
And then after some time, the robot says, are you done? She goes, No me. And he continued to outstanding for her sallallahu alayhi wa sallam the same position, the same position in a very loving, you know, standing for herself that Allah somebody kept asking our over again until she said, husband, I'm done. That's it. And then they went back again to the normal activities. The Prophet did not complain, and actually not complain. But what was amazing is what Alisha she she won from this whole thing where she used to narrate the story she used to say, Cosmo Allah Hey, man, can I need another I will have a 15 Min had. So just to let you know, I swear I had no intention of
watching this ever since. I didn't even want to ask this. But I just want the people to know about the standing of Rasulullah sallallahu.
I want them to know how the Rasul Allah said and react to the request of the spouse. He told us go ahead.
And he was what are some of the laws that are hot this time and she had no intention now these are watching. But she was teaching us a lesson about the Allahu Taala and how
to be kind to be nice to be gentle and Jairo Kincaid openly athlet the best among you are those who are best to their families. Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam was a very good listener.
He was a very good listener. And that's what most women complain when it comes to husband and wife issues.
He says she doesn't understand. And she says he doesn't listen.
Because when he does, he's watching the TV on his son on his cell phone or doing something else I'm listening, just keep talking. He's not listening. Also Allah Hassan was among a very good listener. I shall be allowed Raha she narrated the long hadith of omega which is all
she gave her stories of 10 The story of 10 men and 10 to 10 Women who gathered the time over the journey and before even before Islam, and each one of them starts talking about her husband.
You know what he called us? The goal of gossip
10 Why men getting together gossiping their husbands?
Muscle how okay, this is a man. Here's his wife, comparing him to her brother him
or his broke level onto a foreign banks become a big issue. And here's Arash talking to Rasul Allah, so Allah salah, describing 10, the qualities of 10 Husbands, each woman was talking about her husband, and each one describing her husband. And here's just Allah is listening to this one description after the other one the scripture after the other. For us one the Scripture just makes your blood boil.
And here's the gospel law just listening. The first one, the second one, the third one, she's not criticizing him. She's not attacking them, like most men would perhaps taken, he wouldn't choose and given that she was telling him a story. And Azula was he was understood the moral of that story, the last one, omega. When she talked about her husband, I was up and he was the best from the time. When she finished the story. His truth is we need to learn about it. Number one, that story happened in Nigeria before Islam and Rasul Allah is much more older than half of the Aloka Anna Do you think Rasul Allah didn't know about that story before?
Perhaps he knew about the story before she was born. But he listened without a thought.
He listened without interrupting. So a lot. Number two, she was comparing she was talking about the qualities of husband Rasul Allah was listening. He didn't take that personal, say, Okay.
And third, when she finished Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam gave her positive feedback. He said, and I shall be to you like I was our last home is
choosing the best of the 10 Salado says he didn't defend himself. He said, So what do you think, okay.
He didn't take it personal. Said I shall get for you like I was up past him. If this is what you want, you will get that Charlotta he was good listener. So the water law he was Samadhi. But also Allah is SallAllahu wasallam was very humble. He was very humble. And he used to serve himself, even in the House said a lot, a lot of ceremony. I saw a lot that she said that kind of stuff a lot. It was similar. Sometimes I want to lower so I will get busy serving the family cannot be limited and serving them around the house. When I can get that kind of Salah in the huddle, the salah can hold out. But when it was time for salon, he becomes like a string. Which means Salah comes first, he
would come first, when we say to be nice and kind and gentle. That doesn't mean to overstep. Now the rules that Allah subhanaw taala gave, as a man of the house, that you basically make sure that your family children are following the commandment of Allah subhanho wa taala. But what they need, they need their own models. And the old one of the best Kaleido model is the real model. And that is Rasulullah sallallahu. Once you read read and there are so many other sorts of other prophets of Allah themselves. Once you read these stories, Allah you won't need any Valentines or any story and the stories of Rasulullah Salallahu Alaihe Salam
and Hamdulillah I mean, so Allah Azza
wa ala alihi wa sahbihi are seldom at the Sleeman epiroc to mama but my dear brothers and sisters, as you know it's a season and as Muslims we cannot live in isolation people they see and they watch them they're gonna ask you questions. Your children will ask you a question even in school, they will have their own party. What what answers have you prepared yourself with us? And the best answer you can get them Allah if you're not you don't have to say a word. But if you just act at home the way the Prophet SAW Allah said I'm happy with the sky.
If you ask for their children and loving nature, they will need any verbal testimony from you about the meaning of love and kindness and gentleness. Allah subhanho wa Taala says about the miracle of marriage, when Minaya when one of his signs in the field for one thing he could do for each other man and woman and one reason so that you find peace and tranquility with you
order to learn from and invest between your heart, love and mercy, this is what you need to implement in the house. This is what you need to do. Sometimes in family, couples,
way before they're divorced physically, they live in what I call emotional divorce. They had have done a motional divorce long, long time ago.
There's no connection whatsoever, except on paper. And then they live under the same roof.
That's not supposed to be like that.
It's supposed to be the way the prophets of Allah lived his life cycle of loving money. The reason I mentioned to start the following is because being one of you a member of this metroplex, from the Valley Ranch, Christian community, I know that every Muslim committed mashallah aspiring to building big projects, and big Islamic centers. May Allah subhanaw taala, make the players successful. You have a fundraising coming on March the second to build this facility and share a lot of data to the best of what you can. However, what I want from each and every one of you to start building the community from within.
That is the most important thing. What's the point that you have big massage big centers, when we have broken families, and broken communities.
As we build these projects, and we put our hearts in sha Allah with our money into them, we need also to invest in our relationship with our families, with our children, the spouses and our relatives. This is very crucial moment for you. As you move on forward your project, you need to move on forward with your community. Being a member of this community myself, I believe, we all need to be strong. We cannot afford having a weed community amongst us.
The way I love to be successful on my commercial Ranch, I would love to see successful as well in your community over here, the way you want every other method around you to be successful and strong. We cannot afford having a weak community around. Therefore make sure to support your project. Support your community by attending your fundraising shortfalls. Go to Allah and walk in work on yourself, on your children on your family and your community. Allah madam and I'm gonna
continue here Allah and of course around the law