Islamic Q & A 27-01-22

Yahya Ibrahim


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which is almost noon in London time this is our weekly Islam q&a or Islam channel. You can ask your questions on air with me if you so like I will take your answers when I have a short break first of all to Booker in their time and chatline about 15 minutes

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so please do let us know where you're walking in from and if you do have any questions, put them down through the chat service inshallah. I look forward to kind of going through them as we continue our discussion evening to Allah. I will be interrupted shortly with the segment beginning and then I will be with Islam Channel Live on their TV, broadcast and live on internet. And after that in chat law. I'm very happy to kind of take your questions for that short period for the q&a in chat bot. All right, we should be beginning in the next minute inshallah the countdown will begin shortly and then I will be engaged with them mashallah we see sister Halima is listening in from Lahore. We got

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a few people from Singapore Perth. We got people from all over my shot la do let us know where you're watching from. It is a pleasure. Okay 40 seconds seconds, just like a law fair. So we'll be starting in the next 40 seconds in shot law may Allah subhanaw taala make it a blessed engagement evening he to Allah Allah Allah and

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Allah not something I learned every you know Mohamed Atta early he was he was sitting in the Sleeman kathira.

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Masha Allah shout out to the New Yorkers, people waking up with us at home to do that. Lucky better.

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We have friends in the house as well Michelle.

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It's great to see that

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six, five

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to one, zero

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AsSalamu Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh Alhamdulillah Hamza *reen wa Salatu was Salam o Allah say you did more saline. Say you didn't whenever you know, Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa sallam, it's your brother. Yeah. Hey, Ibrahim coming to you live from my home here in Perth, Western Australia, at our standard time every Wednesday and having to leave that may Allah give us the energy and the topia to be with each other each and every week in chat law at high noon in London time, which happens to be 8pm here in Perth, I look forward in shot law to receiving your questions live on air in sha Allah. May Allah subhanho wa Taala make the questions you ask and

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benefit to others. Along mean. Today we're going to begin with a question that I was left with. And it's a question that I'll just read the first part of it. It's a detailed question, but I'm just going to give general advice that I believe is a good answer for all of us as viewers in chat a lot. It's a question that's coming from a family that is going through a difficult time. And this is a question that has been asked by both the husband and wife, where they say that there has been a problem that has occurred between them in the home, and they want to redeem their relationship. They want to learn how to make it up to each other. They acknowledge that both of them in one way or

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another at fault. And our brother is very repented from some of the things that he has said and done. And he said, Chad, how can I fix a problem that I am involved in or created? And that's a general question that that I think I want to stress for all of our viewers today. What is an Islamic process? What is the psychological mindset that we need? What is the humanity that we need to have to address a physical and emotional and economic a spiritual problem, one of the things that we can do to better ourselves after sinking to a low. And this is something that's important for us to kind of speak about, where our heart has to be, where our mind has to be and where our determined

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physical effort needs to be. And all three parts of you as a human being must come together to fix a problem that you know and want to fix. In sha Allah, we're going to speak about redemption. We're going to speak about Toba, the word tobuy usually referred to as repentance. I don't like that translation. Repentance is you know, very confined, but redemption where you have hope. You have opportunity, you can become better than what you were not just I want to come back to where I was, I want to come back but I want to, I want our relationship to be better. I want to not just make it up but I want to go beyond that. And that's really the psychology that a believer has in the

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relationship with Allah and in the relationship

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they have with their fellow men in seeking the pleasure of Allah Subhana Allah. So the our three initial first steps, the first step is called self confrontation, you need to acknowledge your mistake and mashallah our brother, he says, chef, I acknowledge my mistake this sister has, because I acknowledge my mistake. Self confrontation is a very difficult thing for a human being to do. It's very difficult for somebody to say I have a problem, I am a problem. I'm causing problems for others. I'm in this problem not just because of other people's dealings, but also because I have skin in the game. I'm a part of this issue. Recognizing that a scene has been committed, recognizing

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that an offense has been done by you requires repentance and Toba to become a part of your life. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he says it in a very simple way to words, and let them tell about repentance is remorse. Meaning you've understood your place in that error, you've understood and experienced sorrow and sadness and heartache and genuine internal feeling. And that's why men will tell but it's only Allah Who knows it you can say I'm sorry, 1000 times 100 times. But if in your heart, it's not remorse, if in your heart, there is no sorrow in your heart, there is no change from that which was deficient to that which is plentiful from that which was held on to that which

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was collected from that which is beat out to that which is suna from that which injured others do that which heals others, if your heart is not willing to make that move. If your soul is in one area and you're in another, then you are not able to redeem yourself, you will never come to a place where you will fix that problem in the way that it could be fixed. Now, you might fake it till you think you make it but you're not going to make it you might think it a little bit and everybody gets happy. And then a week later, it blows up even more. Because you weren't genuine, you weren't remorseful. You weren't sortable, you did not make Toba Toba is UCLA. You know, you stop you you

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understand the gravity and Nether more, I love the idea. You have remorse for whatever it is that was said done, or action in your life. Number two,

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the second stage after self confrontation after I hold myself accountable after I self examine myself, after I understand my role. Number two is that I begin to establish levels of self control, self regulation, I begin to become the authority in my life. I don't need to be policed by others. I don't need my wife to remind me. I don't mean for other people to be present for me to stop what I what I had done before I begin to try to redeem self control. And self control is a learned behavior, you can learn it, it's something we should emphasize teaching our children. It's one of the things of course, that people fail at teachers currently failing in our education systems at

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establishing manage practical stages of developing self control. Self control is probably the greatest test of predicting future success, material success, financial success, relationship, success, religious success of your child into their adulthood, you can see from your five year old sitting in front of you, if they do not and have not been taught self control. If it is not a mandate in your process, you can see where their failings will be into the future. And that's demonstratable with symmetric asymmetrical tests and analytical tests, through psychological surveys and so on.

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For thinking this in stopping what you've done, regretting it is not enough. You now need to self manage self regulate self control your behaviors and the pathways that lead to that mistake. And that's why Allah subhana was to Allah. He doesn't just say to Adam, don't eat from the tree. He says when at Taco Bell, have a shot to control yourself, help yourself being controlled by not coming close to that tree. So if you cause yourself if you give your tools of success away, if you you know, if you bring your your fuel to the fire, the blame really centers on you not developing and taking seriously that second stage of self control. So he said first is self confrontation, self

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acknowledgement, self assessment, self

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inquiry, being genuine in that

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pursuit in your mind, body and soul. Number two is finding pathways to self control, doing the things that are necessary and needed for you to succeed from not returning to that mistake. And then number three, the third category is self sacrifice, I need to do something, to make it up to those who I hurt to those who I injured to those who I took from to those who I gave pain to. It's not enough just to say I, you know, I'm so genuine in my heart, I feel sorrow at this moment, it's not enough to say I'm sorry, it's not enough to say I'm going to do better, I'm going to quit this job, I'm going to move this to another city, I'm going to, you're not going to have self control. It's

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not enough if the people you hurt if the people you took from if the people that carry that pain, have not received restitution, reconciliation, restoration, for, you know, attempt at asking for their forgiveness, finding a pathway to finding a path of obedience into the future, if they're your parents, of serving them as you took from them now serve them, all of that becomes a very important stage. Now those three are the stages of a psychological mindset for self redemption, for being a person who's able to redeem themselves, those three things must be internal, must be in your heart must be put into practice. I'm gonna first confront myself Where was I wrong? And am I right? Yes.

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And take ownership of it. Number two, what am I going to do about it? How am I going to stop myself from getting into that place, going with these people doing this thing that I've done before? Number three, what can I do to make it up to those who I hurt and offended? Now all of that is powerful, but those three important stages, they kind of require a clarity and a process for you and I to establish Now those of you mashallah who are listening, I know that there are calls that are coming through that are being filtered. If you do have a call coming in, please send it into the station, you can call through at the the the hotlines and the numbers and I look forward to being interrupted

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with your questions in answering this question as well in chat a lot. So the question we're answering how can I fix something that I've ruined? How can I redeem myself to my family my wife my children, how can I help myself after the problems that I've caused? How can I become a better man a better woman after something has gone wrong that I know I have a party

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there are eight things that you and I need to kind of meditate on think about reflect on have to double over have to attend Kira FM first is

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before we begin with the first one we have our first caller mashallah I guess I kind of invited them along the way. I said I'm Anakin caller How can I help Chama?

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To companions of Prophet Phil alone

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that sounds

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a difficult situations, this practice loss. And then today, we only spread it around, but how about we have to invite

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this last

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response and

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we have to look at analyze

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all situation

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profits and allow the

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background, the current and every attack, defense themselves, but didn't last long.

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even Islamic

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laws and regulations

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phone power, they want to limit us they want to

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blind, big data, how to practice law.

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Like really, really need to think about it

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collectively to do something for your questions.

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Thank you so much. I look it's an honest question. So Pamela, under different times, it becomes important for us to spread the message of our truth to have a level of self esteem and self confidence in the practice of our faith. And I guess your your general question and comment is, how can we be more upright and stand up for our deen stand up for our images, Muslims? How can we allow people to become more familiar with who we are as believers?

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Generally speaking, I have two very simple rules for this. The first of them is usually people who don't know about our Islam, they want to know what we believe in how we believe it. Most people that are not Muslim, they can kind of tell when somebody is giving them answers that aren't really what they actually believe them to be. So My policy is to be very honest, you know, as Muslims, we believe this, and this is why we believe it. And it may make sense to you may not make sense to you, but this is that this is the truth of our faith. So watering down Islam and changing it just because we are trying to attract someone to it or, you know, not entering a question completely and, and

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being, you know, evasive with that is actually a disservice. Number two is that we pride ourselves on Islam, that we feel the dignity of Islam would feel the strength of Islam would feel the self esteem of Islam, within ourselves that it becomes a badge of honor. And people gravitate towards somebody who is assured of what they believe in, who is confident in their Islam, they are able to take from them what they wouldn't take from others, just because they see that this person has a genuineness in what they are saying, but more importantly, that their lifestyle meets what they are saying. And Allah warned us in the Quran. Yeah, you held Adina Ave limita, co Luna maleta alone, are

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you who believe? Why do you say a word that which you do not put into practice yourself? Kevin Rockton en de la he and the whole Ramallah tetragon. It is an enormous aggrieved sin, for you to say, and to commend unto others what you are not prepared to do yourself. Allah tells us that this was one of the things that ruined the nations that came before us limited, that they were from those who used to Aluna Alsina, Tamil Kitab, they would, you know, twist their tongues with their book, they wouldn't put into practice what they knew and what they were reciting from their scriptures of the past. May Allah protect us from this along. I mean, we're going to continue with it, you know,

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important training, but it's important skills in sha Allah, in developing a process of returning and restoring ourselves and our habits to something bless it, after a downfall or a mistake has occurred. The first of them before we take our first break, is that we must be appalled. And we must find within our heart, that higher and the shamefulness, the sadness of that mistake. And this is something that must be a natural process with us. It must be something where we sit and we deliberate on not just what its effect is on me, but how it would be perceived by others of me and about me and how others may have received this in themselves and in their hearts, not necessarily

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what its effect is for me and a truly repented person is in a sense, disgusted by what they might have said what they might have done what they might have taken, that has brought others into finding hurt and harm in their life when we return after the event first of all with the in London will continue with your questions join me again in the next five minutes evening led to Allah was Salam Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh.

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fair to everyone those of you who are watching on my social media I'm now with you Al Hamdulillah I'm happy to take your questions in the meantime for the next five minutes and chat law while they have that and then comma and a few ads with Islam channel on their TV TV show inshallah. So let me look through our Instagram have any questions kind of come in and let me know where you guys are watching in from I see Mashallah. We have a number of people who have joined through let me know where you are watching from mashallah we got California USA

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we have Malaysia. Ah, masha Allah, we have one. Sister Halima said She memorized salted molk through my salts and Malik series. It's

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important you know to kind of find you know, a pathway to knowledge may Allah use all that is good Mashallah. Alright, so our brothers and sisters, you have me for the next five minutes on this

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Social media we got Brampton, Ontario Canada, Mashallah. That's like right up the road from my hometown for Rexdale I shot a lot about a couple of men. Alright, any questions coming in we got the Philippines in the house we got Nigeria

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on sha Allah, Masha Allah, Masha Allah, Delaware, USA

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haven't been to Delaware I look forward and shot LA to being able to travel there once restrictions are lifted.

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All right.

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We got Mississauga and we got the Netherlands we got Dallas, Texas, my shot lots of our law.

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All right. Now for those more sensitive questions that relate to divorce and things like that, that require a person to sit with both sides that a mediation process. I kind of never really broach those questions on air or speaking with one side without the other. If you have other questions that are general nature, I'm very happy to help we got South Africa also listening through martial law.

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So yes, share your questions in shot law. All right, we got a question from sisters law Hassan. From London when I'm practicing my Deen I feel contentment but after a period I get short tempered and agitated with some of those around me, really sometimes over nothing. So I stopped practicing and the anger kind of goes away. Have you ever heard of this? How do I overcome this? Alright, a sister, Zaha. I don't want you to associate the practice of Dean as a general concept with what it is that you're feeling. Now it might be that you're doing particular things that are a part of the deen that maybe don't make you feel as complete as you should be. Maybe you're doing it out of a process where

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it's just something I need to get done or I'm just going to do the you know the prayer because I have to get it done. What I would rather you do is follow the Sunnah of the Prophet I sent him there's there's a number of things that he says. So in one Hadith the prophets I send them sent men shed the Dena Oliver, the one who tries to overwhelm the religion, it will defeat the meaning tries to do more than they can tries to buy more than they can chew. So regiment, your process regiment, your relationship with Allah, associate yourself with those who are like minded in the practice of fate. Number two, the prophets I send them said of the things that Allah loves the most are the good

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deeds that are consistent, even if they are small. So never ever, ever give up practicing when you say give up practicing, never, you know, stray away from your o'clock never stray away from your toe, he'd never stray away from your Sona. never stray away from the essentials of our faith. Now there might be a particular voluntary practice that you do something other than it might be that you're giving charity one month, and it might be that you're fasting Mondays or Thursdays another month, I would want you to do the best you can, in that in that kind of

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mindset. The third thing is about anger and having a at a high your emotion that requires you to kind of regimented though, that this isn't something that's just for you. But it's a challenge for all of us, myself, with my wife, with my children with my you know, with everybody, you know, we all get angry, a lot, in fact says to Musa in the Quran

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that Allah describes him that he was overcome with anger Fela Maseca tam Musa haba, when anger and AB began to quell it to dissipate from Moses, you know, he was angry, he was justified to be angry, but he was angry to a state that was described as such by ALLAH SubhanA wa, tada. Anger in and of itself is not the problem. It's acting in a way that causes others around us to be out of harmony. And now the balance that we need to be on the lookout, and that's why I wanted to get this question you asked a little bit of attention. Understand that your anger is something that you are in charge of, and you cannot blame it for, you know, I did this or somebody said this. It's something each and

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every one of us needs to come to a point where we look into our heart and say, I can take control over this particular statement, this particular action, I shouldn't say that. I'm going to apologize for it. And the prophets of Allah who it was said, he would say, let us talk to people who asked what what advice do you give you would say don't be overcome with anger, that it causes you to act in bad regard to others. So that's something Allah Subhana Allah supports you in that make it easy for you Allahumma Amin, may Allah subhana

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Allah blessed all of us with a process of healing ourselves so that we can be a healing to others in sha Allah. Any other questions coming through, please bring them in in the next couple of minutes and chatlog before we move on back to Islam channels questions of trying to go through them

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as much as I can in sha Allah, and

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all right.

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One of the

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sisters, she says, are usually very patient, but the passage of time I'm beginning to lose it how to deal with it, well, there are three ways that we can increase agents. First is that when we don't need to be patient, that we are thankful to Allah for those occasions. And when we need to be patient to reflect upon those moments, knowing that those moments will come again. So we have this statement.

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In the hat, Sarah, it's been an hour, it's been a moment in time, let me give you a Chinese proverb.

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In the ancient times in China, there was a man

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and the people of the village respected this person, and they came to him. And they would ask him advice and so on. And they, you know, he would say, Well, look, you know, all of us, we have our ups and downs, good and bad. They said, No, you know, your life is really blessed. Then the next day, he went out into his field, and somebody had stolen, you know, some of his buffaloes, some of his cows and, and run off with it. The people of the village, they said, Oh, you know, that's so that's so sad. It's a terrible thing to happen. And he said, maybe, maybe it's terrible.

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And a little while later, he is, you know, the, the, the ruler of the area, he heard about the theft, he sent some troops, and they paid him for his loss. You they were they paid him. So the people in the village that came and said, Wow, you're so lucky, you got more than actually those cows would have been worse. You're such a lucky man. He said maybe. And at that moment, his son went out into the field.

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And he fell, hurt his leg and broke his leg. People said, Oh, wow, that's terrible luck. You know, you should it's so sad to see what happened. Any, you know, it's a terrible thing. He said, Well, maybe maybe it's a terrible thing. He brought us on home. And the next morning, the same king was now looking for troops, able bodied men to go and fight war. And because his son's leg was broken. They didn't conscripted. So everybody in the village came and said, Wow, you're so lucky your son broke his leg, he didn't have to go to war and probably die like our children. He said maybe, and that the moral of that is you never know where there is height. And one of the best ways for you and

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I to establish patience is to recognize that in the severity of our difficulty, there is how you in the manners use with the difficulty is ease in the manner also use in that same difficulty there is another ease that you have been giving. May Allah Subhana Allah Allah grant us ease, help you develop your patience in sha Allah. So the first thing when you don't need to be patient appreciated, make sure to to Allah, when you need to be patient to remember that time where you are thankful to Allah for the good things you had. And third, and finally, look to those who are in more difficulty and you will find within yourself, happiness and ease and comfort in sha Allah.

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Finally, we'll take this question quickly. I have a question regarding regular soda and intention, let's say I have decided to give a monthly donation to charity automatically by bank transfer. I've only set my intention when making the decision on the first payment. Should I remember the day of each and every one of the transfers or is my sadhaka given for each and every time? No Subhan Allah, the Mercy of Allah is great and the knowledge of Allah is great at the sadaqa that you give, even after you eat that will continue to earn you reward. That's the concept of Sota kajaria, that if you set your intention, well, that you make it a continuous charity that you've set it and forget it,

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right? You set it you forget you forgot about it. But Allah Subhana Allah does not ever, ever, ever forget Allah Subhana Allah to Allah always remembers the good that we do the good and may Allah protect us innocent. We're going to continue in sha Allah with our Islam q&a Jazak Allah for your questions. We'll give our attention back to our series with Islam channel, Inshallah, just come along

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standby standby

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976510 agile assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh Alhamdulillah wa Salatu was Salam ala Rasulillah salam ala when he was sending him We're back. Welcome back. It's good to have you after the event for a lot of London time. May Allah subhana wa Tada make us regular in our prayer that for our children and our generations to come, may Allah accept this, from all of us, Allah I mean, we have been talking about how to remedy mistakes that we've made, injuries that we've caused to others in their hearts and in their feelings towards us how we can better ourselves. And we learned that there are three important mindsets of self confrontation and admitting our guilt before ourselves

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and Allah beginning to take processes for self control, and finally making self sacrifice and trying to make reparations, amends and repayment. And we said to do that there is a process The first of them, we said, is to feel within our heart uphold saddened and truly genuinely aggrieved by the mistake that we have done, not on our account, not what people think of us because of it, not how it affects us, but in fact, how it affected others. And that really becomes a very powerful mindset. Point number two is to seek to make amends and to make restitution and to pay for that which was done along with that number three is to accept the consequences that may be listed. We have a caller

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on the line as salaam alaikum caller How can I help

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Allah eradicate my dear brother, it's always good to hear from you each and every week, but Allah subhanaw taala except from all of us a lot

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of questions, the beginning

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Gemma Habib,

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this is the first thing so, all of us

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that question brother is about both our children, when they are raising them, you know, like how do they become a leader like leadership in the House, in the responsibility, how we teach them to, to have to have responsibility? And the second question, my brother is about

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Muslims in our beliefs as Muslims in our children in the house, when we teach it 567 years, when we say You know, this is this is right.

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You know, this is about it. Now, you mentioned that sometimes we have, you know, because we have, we always have to save on

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how we could, you know, make them

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angry, you know, obviously bonds and people especially have mental deplete them at the

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end of the day, themselves in their mind.

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This is the question of how to make them feel, you know, to push them

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push themselves by themselves. So

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it's always a pleasure to hear from you, brother. May Allah subhanho wa Taala bless you in your home and your family and your children. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us higher and always bring our hearts closer together. Allah Ameen. So there's a number of interesting points in these two questions. And I'm going to join them together in chat a lot focusing on our young children. One of the most important aspects in our children's development is to teach them that they have a voice. Now, when you speak about how can we inculcate leadership in our children, sometimes it is to give them the opportunity to be able to say, what they are actually feeling and thinking, one of the

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measures for you and I, for example of our future children's success is in how we model that behavior inside the home. So for example, if you it just say, May, Allah subhanaw taala protect their children, just say, you know, one of our children is unwell. And we take them to the doctor, and the doctor sits them on the table and we're with them, you know, eight years old, nine years old, and the doctor says, Okay, I meant okay or mom, okay, yeah, Ali, what's the problem? Tell me what you feel. Now as a parent, the natural instinct for many of us is to say, oh, Doctor, you know, my son is not feeling well. His stomach is hurting and we talk on behalf of our son. Now, of course,

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that actually is is a mistake. What that teaches is

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that I don't if they don't develop the ability to stand up for themselves to speak to a power to speak to an authority to learn how to engage with someone older, wiser, smarter, in power in white uniform and in scrubs as a doctor, it becomes important for us to lead our children to doing this small things that develop self confidence in their ability, self confidence in their voice. Sometimes, as parents, we intervene before something happens, and we want to prevent, for example, them making a mess in the kitchen. So they let me do this for you, or let me make breakfast for you. Or let me make the lunch for you for school. You'd be surprised how being responsible for making

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lunch for the rest of their brothers and sisters each and every day for a week. And then another one makes it for the next week. And another one, they have to plan what this person likes what that person likes, what they don't like, and they become responsible. So teaching responsibility in the NITAAC in the area of their of their domain becomes very, very important for us as parents. Number two

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is the words we use are more important than we actually assumed. So how we ask, Are we asking questions? Are we giving commands? Now successful parents who will have successful children who have faithful children? Are those who are questioning, not always demanding? There is a difference between saying between saying, Did you pray your ask when you came home? And you saying, if you haven't prayed your us, join me for Salah? I haven't prayed yet? The same question. But it's asked in two different ways. One of them is from an authoritarian, somebody who's ruling through fear ruling through coercion ruling through I'm going to be upset, you better give me the right answer,

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there's going to be held to pay and the other is an open door. It's an opportunity. It's an invitation. And in each and every aspect of our life, we must be very in tune with how we question command invite.

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enlighten our children in the processes that are important. I, I do a lot of parental training and things like that. And it's really Subhanallah surprising, the kind of good that can come out of a person beginning to understand that I'm actually at fault for how my son sees the world for how my daughter is engaging with others. I'm at fault for not giving my daughter a voice and being you know, she's being bullied in the class. Well, she was being bullied at home first by me, you and I must resist the the ability to bully bully our own children because what it does is it makes them bitter towards us and makes them soft targets or others. May Allah Subhana Allah protect us from

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that bomb. I mean, this is why the prophets of Allah who it was in them said

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that our children are in stages, right? He said, label homeless and enjoy play with them. You know some time Allah education I'm an educator by profession, education, you know, we want children to play especially in their formative young years, five years old, six years old seven year you want them to play. Let him listen for the first seven years the Prophet says play with then the next seven from seven years old to 14 that the young teens the preteens saw Hey boo befriended win them over, be there. So I have a company that don't leave them on their own. Don't leave them with others. Don't let them be that they're that their friends gain more influence in their life than you

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because that's a natural peer process that they will see that the influence of their friends become more important than seeking you when they were young. They were like Baba, look at me. I'm going to score a goal and jumping up and down baba, baba, baba, Mom, look, look, look look. And then they turn 14 1314 years old and it's like Baba, I don't want you here drop me off and gold. And the reason for that is that you the friendship did not become intact.

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And then the prophets I seldom said from 14 to 21 He said it's a lie seldom

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lezzy move on, you know, be be consistent with them be a part of their life. Be with them step by step nurture them in the next seven. So it becomes important for us to consider the wisdom of the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, we return to our first question about repentance and redemption and healing from some of the problems that may have been caused by us. We said to feel appalled and upset that we have done injury and sadness

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Brought Zora to others, and look at the pain as in their eyes, not from our perspective. Number two, to make amends to try to fix the problem. And Emanuel has only, you know, subhanAllah he writes masterfully about this. He says, there might come a time where you've done something wrong to someone, they're no longer there, they passed away. They've left country, you don't know where they are they you know, they're in the ACA, you're still in the dunya? What are you going to do? You know, you have to make charity on their behalf, you have to do something to do to give them the rights that you took from them, may Allah protect us. Yeah. Number three, except the consequence. So

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it's, you know, if something that you did was wrong, and it's now necessary for you to go to your father in law's home, the consequence, you must come take our daughter back, you must come and accept that this was a mistake that this is not gonna, then you take that consequence, even though it injured your pride, even though it's not something you you feel good about. But that's part of the repayment of the pain you've caused to others. Number four,

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don't expect or demand forgiveness. You know, not just because I said, I'm sorry, that that means a person in front of you, like a snap of a finger, like the blink of an eye, instantaneously, they have to accept it. And time will heal in sha Allah. But do not demand do not expect do not assume forgiveness is given immediately. I said, I'm sorry, what more do you want? What more do you want from me? Right? No, they're they're lingers pain. And you'll have to give that opportunity. Number five,

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is feel the depth

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of the injury and the pain cause don't just look at what's a server don't just look at what was said, you know, many times when I mediate between a husband and wife sometimes, you know, through even Azu calls and things like that sometimes when you are mediating between two, the brother will say the sister will say the husband will say the wife will say they'll say I you know, I made a mistake, I apologize. Why can't you just move along? You know, I know what I said.

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You know, and then the other side will say, but you I know, you said you apologize for what you said but it how it made me feel the injury of what happened from what was said, has not yet been healed. And therefore looking at the depth of the pain, it's not just the skin of the apple, but there is a whole lot more that may have resulted from those words that were spoken.

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Number six, is to change the behaviors that lead to the mistake. So to change that, you know, it could be the friends could be the company, it could be the the technology you're using. It could be whatever it is, you need to make the change that's going to help you stay away from the simple tree. If you're Adam, Allah says don't go near that tree it's not just don't eat from it. Don't go near it. So what can I do to protect myself from going back and repeating this harm? Was it the influence of the people on wheels? Was it the timing was it that I was alone was it that I it that work environment was it that I'm traveling to this place? Was it that we live in an area that I'm known

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for this? All of those are things that are significant? We have a caller on the line Santa Monica caller How can I help

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I'm very well it's good to hear your voice sister. Allah bless you and bless your day

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to bless you too.

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Out of the out of

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check, I have a question for you.

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I have

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two brothers before my mom's alive, I do everything for them. But they don't want to make the fight every day in our power

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to competency Coppola and love of my mom

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then after that, I have my belief in myself and everything that's

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everything and I taught them

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to read and have someone

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up there

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that don't want me talk to me. I I press that policy

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00:45:12--> 00:45:13

Don't call me

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Allah, radicchio, Agia May Allah subhana wa Tada accept the good that you have done towards your family. Know that the prophets Allah Allahu alayhi wa sallam he said that good news that there is a house in Jenna for a person who connects those who have cut them off. So even if they do not call you, you call them even if they do not write you, you write them even if they do not visit you, you visit them even if they do not give to you, you give them in accordance to what is practical for you. May Allah subhana wa Tada ease your pain. May Allah Subhana Allah turn their hearts towards you. That would mean that they teach us something very simple, that the prophets I said Lim said to

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us that the hearts of mankind are in the hands of Allah Subhana Allah to Allah, he turns it as he wishes continue to make dua May Allah subhana wa Taala make you and then prosperous and may Allah subhana wa Tada kill these problems along with me. We have another caller on the line is Salam aleikum. Caller How can I help?

00:46:21--> 00:46:21

Well, I

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just want to add

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to your program. I don't know shall oppose the program. Today. I'm a bit concerned. You know, if I miss your program, and then

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it's like, okay, the time is gone.

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Yes, I just want some information about that. And also, the biggest question is

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when we go into pray Juma prayer,

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prayer before kami Baraka,

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I don't pray, and then I pray after that.

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All right. With regards to the first question in shot law, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam when he was asked, what are the best deeds that a person can do? He said, I'll select to either walk to her is to pray at the time of prayer. The time of prayer is a range of time and the best of prayer is where you do your Salah, earlier towards the event then rather later, if there is a need to delay from when the time of event is by a few minutes that can give you benefit or that can give you high then it is not seen as detestable. But if what is going to keep you from doing your solder is something that is frivolous, and not something that is better for your deen then it is better to

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bring the solid forward in chatbot with regard to your second question of the Soudan that, that is prayed normally for salatu door which is for Raka before a lot of the prophets I send them regularly pray 12 raka each and every day soon, Mo Acha. To before fetch for before though, too after though, too after metric two after a shot that we

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do we pray the for the sooner before salatu Juma? The answer is the prophets I seldom did not pray for Raka as I assume that for Juwan there actually is no sooner for the Duma OS on that in and of itself that is counted as a pseudonym or Akka. However the prophets I said Lim said between every event and a comma there is select so if the time of salatu book has come in, and you are present in the masjid and the mess that has gone make your Salah and you can wait for the Imam to start but should you pray the for if the Imam has already given the hookah? The answer is no. Can we pray after it's all to do? Yes, there are rewire that the prophets I seldom would pray in his home, four

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or eight raka in sha Allah, may Allah accept from all of us, Allahumma me. We'll end off with our discussion regarding pathways to healing and fixing problems. The last two important points is to make a space and time to heal and to give people a buffer. Sometimes, you know, a husband and wife they've had an argument there's something that has happened. And there's an expectation, you know, I've done something wrong and I've said I've apologized. The expectation is it has to be an instantaneous, God adjoining this is something that was not tolerated by the prophet muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in

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fact, there was a moment where the prophets I seldom denounce a person who was rough with his wife in the early part of the day, and expected intimacy in the evening, thinking that everything has been patched up. This is not an acceptance of the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam We have another caller on the line, Santa Monica, how can I help? Ya?

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I just have a question on oppression, please. I know like I do know that the Diwan of oppressed people immediately there's no barrier between this. But I was just wanting to know that if we do make against the oppressor, how much are we in within our rights to do that? And, you know, would we get any kind of it gives me over exceeded otherwise against the oppressor. And on that course you just give her a verdict or ruling on that if you don't mind took a disaster. And while he better? That's a very important question, and I wish we had much more time for that. That's actually a full hour discussion. We have another question. We I want to just give general guidelines and yeah, debt

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will be dry, meaning offensive do I one type of them is to go overboard in condemning another. And therefore you find that the prophets of Allah were very careful and very strategic when they would ask Allah to deal with a person or a people. So be very careful with that, that you do not go overboard. In fact, it is better for you to ask that Allah give you just this then that Allah give hardship and destruction. To that who you see as an adversary. What I would say to you is make a positive dua for the one who is injured and say oh Allah give me what has lost Oh ALLAH returned to me what has been taken, oh, Allah helped me over the one who has wronged me and this is the dua of

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the prophets no Aniyah Salam he would say probably

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in the name of lumen from Tasa Oh Allah I have been oppressed give me support and victory. This is a powerful do I will find it in a coma the moon in chatbot final question from a final caller assalamualaikum caller How can I help just

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have to let Zack Allah here for your question sister how can I help

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she's very unwell poorly.

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but the thing is, I'm not sure what why she's

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00:52:45--> 00:52:46


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pumping probably. She's

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and I pray for her.

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I'm not sure why she's

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same time she's helped.

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May Allah subhana wa Tada grant your healing and Shiva I do recommend for you to seek medical intervention. It could be something that has a complex issue with her medication or something like that after medical attention. I do ask you in sha Allah to maintain a regiment of making dua for her as you've been doing, and ask righteous people to make do I end our segment with asking all of our viewers to send their due and ask Allah Subhana Allah to Allah Allah ma mask, either have been best issue and Sharpie cheaper and now you have Google Sakuma Amin. I look forward to seeing you next week was salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa Salatu was Salam ala