Living The Life With Hafizah Ismail Islam Channel Uk 10th December 2012

Waleed Basyouni

Channel: Waleed Basyouni

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Salam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh and a very warm welcome to living the life on Monday, the 10th of December with Rahim, Joe, and with Hasler, Amma Ji, thank you very much for joining us. We are indeed live from our central London studios and they're coming up on today's show, we'll be speaking to our guests, of course, and bring you a number of interesting features from around the world. That's right, there is only one place to be for the next hour, so make sure you keep it locked to Islam channel, we'll be introducing our guests in just a moment. But before we do, here's a quick reminder of how you can get in touch with us right here on living the life. Here at living

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the life we want to hear from you. To get in touch. Tweet us at Islam channel, hashtag lt life facebook.com forward slash Islam channel. You can also email us live in the life at Islam channel.tv. We look forward to hearing from you. So that's how you can get in touch. And remember, we could be reading your messages live on today's show. So do get emailing Facebooking and tweeting. But for now it's time to look into our green room. That's right. Well, our first guest of the night has been attracting huge crowds here in London with his course called fit of love marriage in Islam. We'll be exploring this topic further with Chef Walid buss uni Welcome to the show, Jeff.

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Our cuts are very good things about the course really looking forward to hearing about that.

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Now, a little bit later in the show, we're going to be talking about how best to deal with the loss of a loved one. Our second guest of the night has written a book about this subject. So please welcome to the show, just a half is Ismail Samadhi molekule salam, thank you very much for joining us lately. So we have some interesting guests with us tonight before they join us. As always, it's time for our story of the day. It's a tricky one, isn't it? Today's story of the day, I mean, many of our viewers will have seen it's been crossed the news across the media, in newspapers over the last week or so that's prank calls from the Australian radio station. And the poor woman who took

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the call she committed suicide. It's tragic. Really? What's your thoughts on it? By the way? I think it's a really difficult one. I mean, I can't I can't say we I can't imagine living in a world where no one has a sense of humor, and when we don't play tricks on people and, and things like that. And I think there have to be pranks and there has to be some space for that with a prank. When when does it go too far? That's a question.

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You know, I can imagine they probably didn't imagine they're even gonna get through they didn't. And my question is actually, because I've read a little bit about this. Actually, there's people above them in the radio station, who made the call, it was a recorded call. So they you know, anyone that producers, the owner of the radio station, they could very easily have said, Look, we don't think this is in good taste. And we don't we're not going to air this, but they chose to air it. It's tragic, though, what happened?

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To know what happened? Because my feeling is, and I haven't read anything about this, in particular, is the woman who took the call? How would she need to feel afterwards, because it's a very easy mistake.

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You just pass it through to the next person. She didn't put it through to the Duchess of Cambridge, she just put it through to the ward, you know. But what's happened to her she'd been reprimanded so heavily was she made to take all of the slack and all the pressure, so that she eventually, you know, that's what I'd like to know. And I think with the media spotlight on it so much it can't help the situation as well. But we would like to hear your thoughts on this matter as well as we would look over the last few days, there has been a lot of talk about the two DJs coming out themselves to give their reactions. Now they did that earlier today. And here's a quick look at what they had to

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say to local Australian network.

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Unfortunately, I remember that moment very well, because I haven't stopped thinking about it, since it happened. And I remember my first question was, Was she a mother?

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When you found out that she was have two children how to

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very sorry and saddened for the family. And I can't imagine what it'd be going through. Because you just couldn't foresee something like that happening from a prank call. You know, it was never meant to go that far. It's meant to be a silly little prank that so many people have done before.

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This wasn't meant to happen. I mean, we just assumed that with with the voices that we put on, you know, we were we were going to get told off and that was the gag in us. We couldn't believe that it had worked. Absolutely you didn't expect it to we thought 100 people before us would have tried the same thing we just did not see that actually working with it wasn't it wasn't, you know, to get something that no one else had. It wasn't about getting but you are aware you were trying to get medical, a medical condition and medical condition conditional royal that we didn't actually want that we just wanted to. We want it to be hung up on. We wanted to be hung up on without silly voices

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and play a 22nd segment where there is nothing that can make me feel worse than what I feel right now. And for what

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I feel for the family, we're so sorry that this has happened to them.

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We care more about the family, I want to know that they've got the support that they need and the public

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being respectful of their privacy. What's important right now is,

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you know, that I, the family just think they're getting the support and the love that they deserve. And I mean, that's, that's,

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that's what's important here. You know, it was it's nothing more than a tragic turn of events that that no one could have predicted. And, you know, for the part that we play where we're obviously

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we're, we're incredibly sorry, if we had any idea that something like this could be even possible to happen. You know, we couldn't see this happening. It was meant to be a prank call.

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I'm quite sorry for them in a way. I mean, it was a silly thing to have done ever to try to, to

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try by prank means to get some confidential information,

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medical information, but I'm sorry for them. Now, I think big bricks, something to live with for the rest of their lives. I don't know whether you can hold return responsible because it just seemed to be such an terrible event that actually happened. So I don't know whether there was something else going on. I really don't know. I mean, I think it was a really stupid thing to do. And, but apart from that, I really don't know it'd be interesting to see what happens. He's obviously very sad. And they are very remorseful for what they did. But they have done something that's caused a terrible consequence. And I think that you know, was the very sad very sad time needs to be held accountable

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for what they've done. And you know, something needs to happen whether it be with Australian law or British law because eventually they've the men have killed the lady but what they've done is caused her death so i think that you know, so really needs to be held accountable for that.

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Wow, that definitely puts a different slant on it doesn't see their reaction and they could never have imagined that was going to happen. We did hear from the general public there didn't we but Rahim and we'd really like to hear what your thoughts on the matter are. Do you think that prank calls sometimes can go too far? Do you think that particular prank call did go too far? And you know, I want to ask him Do you think there's a place for practical jokes generally, what do you feel about practical? I know I've played really bad practical jokes on friends of mine and pretended to be a crazy person once a friend of mine was really terrified as rain is masked everything It was me

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underneath. You know, do you think there's a place for practical jokes? You know, we would like to hear from you. Please do get in touch via Twitter at Islam turn on hashtag lt life facebook.com forward slash Islam Turner, or via email living the life at Islam tunnel.tv. Now our first guest of the night has joined in huge crowds in London over the weekend with his fear of love marriage in Islam course. If you're wondering what to look for in a partner how to go about finding the right match, stay glued to living the life right now because we're going to welcome to our sofa share, Waleed, Somali, come share.

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Thank you very much for joining us. Thank you for having me. Thank you. Well, before we look at the topic of marriage and how to find a partner, what's your view on practical jokes? I mean, I know I don't know where they're coming from the States you're familiar with the case but you know, there was a quarter radius that a quarter a hospital from a radio station pretending to be the queen, the lady who took the call has subsequently very tragically committed suicide. Yeah, became an international news. It's it's all over the news. And I, I really feel sorry for the, for the family of the woman who committed suicide. And my heart goes for them my prayer as well.

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I believe that jokes, we have jokes we can have

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basically, with each others, as long as we don't hurt others. That's that's one.

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So that will be the the guidelines here that my jokes should not be hurt somebody's feeling or cause somebody to be hurt, physically terrifying someone or something like that.

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Because it's like, for example, I know some people do. Jokes is Oh, I saw your father in the hospital or something like that. So that'll be fun. That's too far. But definitely everybody loves sense of humor. We can, you know, joke with each other a little bit, as long as it doesn't hurt. And I'm not sure if if that the main reason for this lady to commit suicide or not. I think that is still under investigation might have been some underlying things, but definitely, it's under a lot of stress. Yeah. Well, as you said, our thoughts you know, the thoughts of all of us definitely go out to this lady and to her family particularly. Well, actually coming back to yourself, you're here

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from the United States. Tell us a little bit about your background.

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Before we go on to this course, did you grew up in the United States? I know that you live in Houston now. Yes, I do live in Houston, Texas, and America, and a move to United States in 1997. By the end of 1987. I was born in Egypt, raised in Saudi Arabia, finished my all my studies, Islamic Studies, all the way to massive degree in Saudi Arabia after the move to the states finished my PhD in theology over there. So

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it's been a quite journey in my life. Hamdulillah,

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you know, been exposed to different cultures. Yeah, Middle East is culture than the Western culture. And I am the Vice President of American Institute, which handler we have a branch here in UK.

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And we function so many cities, five or six cities in the UK.

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And also the same times in emammal, for mustard called clearlake. slunk Center in Houston, Texas, in Houston. Yeah. So that's basically my background. I'm so happy to be here. And UK, especially.

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Absolutely. For my favorite course. I

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love the sense of love looking at looking at what the rules regulations around, I mean, because it seems almost like a contradiction in terms in some way. Because love is such an impulsive, emotion. It's such an instinctive thing. And when we think of fic, we think of jurisprudence and law and legality. What Where are you coming from bringing those two things together. One of my main goal in this course is to

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make sure that when we think of love, romance, we think of it in the most purest way, which is the relationship that Allah subhanaw taala have made it for us, hello, which is marriage. And I think the love grows and marriage. And it should be getting stronger, stronger. When we get married to each other. As the prophet SAW, Selim said, I haven't seen anything better four to four couples who love they love each other's better than getting married. So and add them. Basically, Allah created rim zone, which is a wife. So I always believe that love and romance should be in the basically the murder relation and grow in that environment. So, so talk about FERPA because there is some Islamic

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guidance rules and relation to that marriage and engagement, but also talks a lot about love. How can we maintain this love so many times people tell me, come to me as an Imam, tell me share. You know what I feel like, I don't love my wife so much anymore. We're not loving each other. Maybe I'm thinking about leaving her. So always say this is to me sounds like someone telling me, my car run out of gas. And I'm thinking about selling it. You don't sell your car because you know how it goes. You just go refill it. Yeah, you know. So I always believe that love can grow stronger and can be reignited again in the heart. And that's one of my goals. Of course, this talk is not just for

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people or the course is not just for people who are married. It's for people who are also looking to get married, isn't that right? Absolutely. I tell my students and those who come into the course, I'm here to help you to help you to make sure that you know exactly what you want, who's the spouse that you want? And not just a vague picture. general picture? That's one two, what are the practical steps that you can take to actively seek the the partner that you want to spend the rest of your life with? And how can you make sure that this is the right one, because even if that person, let's say okay, I met this person and they I liked her, I like him seems to be good. If I figured out that

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this is really the right person, because as Muslims, we don't date we don't have to ship out married. So that is also practical steps to do that, you know, I hope through this course, you're not just going to marry someone that you can live with. I want you to marry someone that you can live, you cannot live without you cannot live without. It is interesting, because it's very difficult for our youth, you know, Muslim youth, people who hold religious principles close to their heart, it's very difficult. Growing up in a society, as you said, where the norm is to date, and you have a number of partners and you just, you know, you kind of sift through them and you eventually

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find one that suits you. And in many ways, in some ways that will seem like a quite a practical way to do things for people. But of course, Islam does not allow that. So what sort of things? Are you advising young people who are not married? How can they go about, as you said, selecting a partner without having been in a relationship with them already.

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First of all, I do support the idea of taking your time. If there's two parts here, one, were to look for your future spouse, and people have different ways of doing that. I call it the my course the hunt. So there's different background. I mean, hunting grounds. People may be looking for it and number one, I found a hunting article. It's called a lot of people get married through college. I met my wife at college. So a lot of people like that's number one.

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area where people find their future spouse. And number two would be through friends and friends of her sister, her sister friends of her brother or relatives related to the family, that will be another popular method through internet Another popular. So we explore each method and we have a lot of group discussion to see the brunt of the cons and each and every one of these methods. Then after that, if you select that person, how would they know that this is the right person? We teach? For example, conversations should be taking place different subjects, smart questions to ask. So you will figure out through this period of time, which is we call it engagement in a slot? Yeah, then

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you have the contract period, which is another period of time without consummating the marriage, to get to know the person even much closer Yeah, and they always advise the youth don't just rush into the marriage. Take your time, there's something called engagement. What do you choose here? Basically, that is a promise that is a serious steps we've taken towards marriage, I also advise the parents to give the space let them make sure that this is enough time that this is really the right person. Yeah, there is a high rate of divorce in our communities, unfortunately, we look and reason because of the choice is rushed into it. He didn't know the girl she didn't know the guy. They need

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to know each other. And I've seen a lot more of that recently, this this concept of engagement period where people get to know each other before they make the ultimate commitment check. We're gonna come back and talk to you a little bit more in a moment especially I want to hear about keeping the marriage fresh. See I've been married quite a long time, you might need some advice on that well look, moving to something else to do with education. It's estimated that over 400,000 people are illiterate within the province of Basra in Iraq. And this makes it very difficult for many people to find jobs in that area. Well, a new initiative though, is looking to make those

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changes they're

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in an attempt to eradicate illiteracy in Iraq, a brand new national campaign aimed at all age groups is offering free reading and writing courses. A total of 67 adult learning centers have been opened in the province so far, the number is expected to be increased to 350 to 400 centers in the future vomited bus was General Directorate of education has opened 67 male and female Learning Centers attended so far by 5000 people. Learning Centers have been opened in various parts of the north to the south, including the district so for

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almudaina Guna.

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He added that there are no reliable up to date statistics on illiteracy rates in Iraq. The last census in Iraq took place in 1997. Therefore, all statistics available are based on data more than a decade old. However, a more recent survey carried out by the boser Education Department put the number of illiterate people in the province at 429,171. Foreign stress that it is never too late to learn how to read and write a lot of people targeted by the literacy campaign by age 15. and above, there is no upper age limit. And this means that even those who are 80 or 90 years old, can join the program because all people have the right to education.

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Upon completion of the program, students receive a certificate equivalent to grade four of formal education. There are many incentives for those taking these courses. illiterate members of the armed forces have to join the program and get the certificate or lose their jobs. literate farmers will be entitled to government loans and grants and skilled workers who can read and write will have the chance to get a job in government offices. A comprehensive campaign to eradicate illiteracy during the 1970s and 1980s helped to increase literacy rates considerably. But many education programs came to a halt with the outbreak of the iran iraq war in 1980. This is now seen by many as a fresh

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approach to a vital clause. Literacy students have done Amir said the literacy program was a blessing for those who did not learn to read and write as children.

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We do not know how to read and write. We were deprived of schools and no we see literacy centers is a blessing for us. We started to learn how to read and write. We were unable to read signs we saw in the street. Our children asked us for help with a homework, we could not read and write it was very hard.

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Whilst this campaign is a step in the right direction, it needs to ensure that it reaches out to everyone concerned.

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There isn't it and that's one of the brothers there said it's such a blessing, isn't it? It is I think the thing about illiteracy, we don't realize that as well as not being able to read and write it's connected with so many other poor life chances you know, you're more likely to have health problems and you're more likely to be very poor and you're more likely to have all sorts of difficulties. Very quickly before we go to our break. How important is this concept of literacy of education within Islam.

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We are the nation

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Petra, first verse first command. I was very inspired actually to see older woman, older men coming and not feeling shy to go, to study and to learn and to know how to read and write. That's very inspiring. I'm very happy and I hope to see more programs like that. Well, thank you very much. Well, look, it's time for the first break of the evening. Don't go anywhere. We've got plenty more to come on today's living the life yeah, after the break, we have a great YouTube clip and a whole lot more to see you in just a few minutes inshallah.

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Here at living the life, we want to hear from you to get in touch, tweet us at Islam channel, hashtag lt life facebook.com forward slash Islam channel. You can also email us live in the life at Islam channel.tv. We look forward to hearing from you

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Assalamu alaikum. And welcome back to the second part of tonight's living the live we are, of course live. And thank you all for getting in touch. Let's take a look at some of your messages. Lots and lots of you getting in touch about this one. We're asking you about practical jokes. Is there a place for practical jokes? Where do we draw the line when we're making practical jokes? And of course, this is all in the light of that tragic call that was made to the king into the seventh hospital with a lady who picked up the phone. And it was an awful voice. I don't know if you've heard the call brother, sister, but it was Hello. Could I speak to my granddaughter please? In fact,

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I think that was better. My impersonation of the Queen was better than one. And she was put straight through to the Duchess of Cambridge and the lady who took that call and put the call through very tragically has gone committed suicide. A real tragedy indeed. Yeah. What are our viewers say? There's so many tweets coming in by the Raheem we've got one here from St. shaniqua. Who says it's time for one of my favorite shows living the life disciple machine in there. We've got one from Simon who says she's watching chef will lead on Islam toto is got her on the edge of her seat. Well, we'll have more discussion later on. inshallah. We've got one here from Tahoe Dean, who says that

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practical jokes are only funny if you know the person. Well. I think there's some truth to that. I think there probably is. I mean, when I played that practical gentleman, a friend of mine, I mean, he really was quite scared, but he's a very, very close friend. And I knew that you know, hopefully it wasn't gonna happen. Yeah, first of all, and secondly, I know that he would find it funny and you did one here from Muslim at 1406. He says that pranks are acceptable, but they should never prank call a hospital. How did that thought even cross their mind? I think it was thereafter a non starter really were then when you're talking about someone who's sick in hospital. Yeah, that's true.

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ajibola sahid attorney has tweeted and say I love the topics being discussed today on living the life especially that of marriage, I think is a really important topic for for everyone. Absolutely. And we've got one here from Aki Shan, who says that there is a place for practical jokes. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam used to joke at times, but he never lied. Well, interesting thought that please do keep those tweets coming in. We'd love to hear from you. And Shall we coming back to our show in a little while to talk a little bit more about marriage. But I've got another question for you before then. Have you ever felt too lazy to do a bit of exercise? Oh, well, shame

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on you. Because even cats are finding time.

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I don't see I have seen people walking their dogs, you know, really lazy people on the treadmill and the dogs is captured while the person sits there watching TV munching cats. The interesting thing I thought was very interesting.

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Now I wanted to ask, you know, when it comes to extreme sports, you know, we've covered quite a few extreme sports on having the life Well, we've got a new extreme sport, and this is snowmobile racing in Austria. This is something I've seen all sorts we've had. I mean, the other day, I mean, if you look at this, this is now racing around a track on these snowmobiles. And there's some fantastic names here that we're gonna have to get right first of all in the streets of sunny hinterglemm in Austria, they were turned into a snowy racetrack last Saturday for the so called Battle of the champions snowmobile race citing stuff and a team comprising of three drivers shed a vehicle and it

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led to some quick turnarounds and a few tumbles along the way but they look like they're having lots of fun. Are you ready for these names? The evening events logistics team dominated resulting in winners for Mathias walking out Christian Rita and Marcel avene book and in second place just 27 seconds behind. We had more

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Stouffer Joseph Hosea and Hans George pirsch bisha. Hans has bisnar Oh, there we go. Adam raga Johan lipner and Andres lick bignor, of gusto racing team. I like the excellent. We have had some fantastic extreme sports. We have indeed on living the life and you know what? Name is always saying he doesn't fancy that I'm really into extreme really I want to do there's a thing Have you ever seen called the Birdman? No, you have to look this up on YouTube, the bird jump off cliffs, and then they just fly. They literally fly like birds. Yeah. Okay, well, interesting stuff. I definitely will check that out. Now on to a more serious note, losing our loved ones can be a truly devastating time

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for all involved and even more so when mothers lose their own children. Absolutely. Well, with us tonight is a woman who has explored this subject extensively. So please give a warm welcome to half as a smile. It's

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a very tricky subject. Indeed, if we can start by asking, what was it that got you first involved in such a delicate area? Well, in April 2011, my beloved two year old nephew, his smile was diagnosed with leukemia and died a short while later, and a very sad, very sad time for the family. And I realized very shortly after very shortly after that, that really, there was no organization where parents could actually go and seek specific advice, you know, from an Islamic perspective on bereavement issues on grief loss, bereavement issues. And I don't think it was a coincidence. But Mashallah, I met a number of Muslim parents who had also experienced the same thing. And I read a

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number of books, and I thought there isn't anything. So therefore hamdulillah I think it's time somebody started a group or is just support page in Sharla to help these parents out. And other organizations called children of gender. That's right, children, it started about a year ago. Is that right? Yes, yes. Alhamdulillah. Yeah. And you make an interesting point, you know, it was your nephew. And I think that sometimes, the extended family can be forgotten sometimes because the death of a young of a child in a family affects everybody, the grandparents, uncles, aunties, brothers, sisters, cousins, everybody feels it so acutely. Yes, absolutely. All of the family felt it then.

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And it was extremely difficult for all of us as well. And I think different people cope with it in different ways as well, in terms of, you know, the support that the mother might need, the support that a father might need. And also, like you said, We mustn't ignore the grandparents and the children because children do grieve, of course. So you know, you, you realize that there seemed to be a lack of provision of this service within the Muslim community. Where did you go too big at the start looking for advice on how to set up support and help? I mean, did you find that within the wider community, there was a lot of bereavement and grief services available? Well, there are a

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number of child bereavement organizations that already exist in the UK, none of them are actually catering specifically for Muslims. And even now Alhamdulillah we're working with some of the leading UK child bereavement organizations, and they to themselves feel that they're not quite meeting the needs of Muslim parents of their 400. And, and now we're collaborating with them. And working together, what I did was, I basically purchased every book that I could get hold of an Amazon because it just became a really fascinating subject for me, first of all, primary to support myself to support my family, my sister, and also the bereaved parents that were approaching me as well. And

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then Alhamdulillah that's when I started my research and I wrote my offered my books are to serenity. Okay, the checklist is a very, very, um, you know, a serious topic. And it's something which probably affects quite, you know, quite a lot of the Muslim community, what's your thoughts on this?

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First of all, I would like to thanks to Javier that and all that. And her husband, they've been doing tremendous amount of work and really role model in this area, and encourage other people to follow the footsteps as well. No doubt, the prophet SAW, Selim said, that Allah will be there for you, if you are for therefore people. So when you help people have a hard view, and the support that we should offer to our neighbors to the community of non Muslim and non Muslim as well. It should be not only finished support, material support, because of the emotional support, which is maybe even more important than that. And the prophets of Salaam, once one of his companions, he lost the child.

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So the process of him went out of his way, he because he asked, Where is that person and has his kid I don't see them anymore. So he was still the child died. So the man was depressed at home. So the President went to the person and talk to him and give his condolences to him. And he said, if you wish, I can pray to Allah to bring him back to life to enjoy his company. But both of you will die when you die, you will die with you, or you will be patient and stay until the Day of Judgment come, then your child, your child will meet you and will take you to enter Paradise from any gates you want. Sharla I mean, I suppose what that brings to light shaken anti sister, half of that is the

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specific Islamic context. And that's what you're talking about that really bereavement

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Because when you're talking about things like death, then you automatically talk about beliefs and afterlife and all of that. So the context is different. But again, linking it to what the scheck was saying earlier, it puts an enormous stress on the marriage. Yes, it does. Absolutely. Yeah. And one of the one of our objectives, inshallah, in 2013, is to really look at sort of the way women grieve the way men grieve. Are there any differences between men and women grieving, because one thing that I've noticed is, during the past year, I have over our closed Facebook pages, which I'll explain to you what they are about, is we have experienced a number of divorces that have taken place as a

00:30:35--> 00:31:08

result of a child dying, because the mother is grieving in a specific way the father is, and there's misunderstandings that are taking place, possibly due to lack of communication, and various other issues. So that is one topic inshallah, that we will be focusing on inshallah. So what sort of activities have you found have been helpful to families, that you're dealing with people who have gone through this? immensely difficult? So I mean, people say, you know, in passing, it's the most difficult thing that can happen to you really, isn't it? It's the biggest test that one can face. What sort of things have you found helpful when dealing with the Muslim community, one of the one of

00:31:08--> 00:31:39

the most important thing is the belief in gender, and which is why we actually chose the name children have gender, because it's a, it's a name that gives hope it's a name that gives something to live for, where the where the children are. And one of the most beautiful things is because it's not really something that you tend to think about, you may have children, but no parent expects their child to die before them. And even though there's a belief in God there, you don't really expect your child to die before you. So what what gender does the focus on gender is that that's where my child is. And not only is my child in gender, but he's Look, he's being looked after by the

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best. And that's Ibrahim Alayhi. Salam and his wife. And there's so many descriptions of, of gender where these children are, that gives real hope and real benefit to our parents. And for many parents, they just didn't know that. So that's one thing, just really emphasizing where their children are. Secondly, is the permission to be human. It's, it's all very well, what we found from our research. And what for what from what parents have said to us is that many times the words be patient will be uttered by somebody else that input could engender it would couldn't really understand. Exactly, exactly. So they're trying to help the brief parent. But what's happening is

00:32:15--> 00:32:23

that by somebody saying to straightaway Be patient is almost giving them not the opportunity. undermining is absolutely something you actually covered in your book. And the book is,

00:32:24--> 00:32:57

it's a fantastic title. I love the title, copy of serenity. And one of the exercises that you encourage parents to do is actually to write a letter to their last child, is that right? That's right. Yes. That's my favorite chapter in there. Yes, that's right. It's a it's a chapter that I feel that most many parents Mashallah have benefited from, we received an overwhelming responses and testimonials by emails via Facebook page, on really that chapter, because what that's doing is that it's placing their child somewhere, it's placing their child in a very safe and secure place. Because even when the children are alive, you know, people like to keep parents like to keep tabs on

00:32:57--> 00:33:29

where their children are, they want to know where their children are. So what what the beautiful thing about Islam is, is placed them in a place called gender. And, and by writing a letter, you know, journal therapy is giving them an opportunity to write to their child, as well as the child writing back to them saying, Mom, Dad, I'm okay, I'm in a safe place. I'm doing all these wonderful things, and, you know, sort of jumping from these trees and doing all this crazy stuff, Mashallah. And it's really helpful to the parent, I mean, you didn't have to correct me if I'm wrong, you didn't have a background professional background in psychology or counseling or grief work before

00:33:29--> 00:34:03

this. Did you know my background is I work as an education consultant, which means working with head teachers basically maximizing the potential in the ability with students and teachers, which is something Mashallah I love, I also work as a life coach. So I think with those skills, as well as naturally trying to bring the best out in people in terms of working with education as a teacher, I think that's helped me with the work that I'm doing with within children of gender go back to this topic that we're discussing about writing to the child. I mean, I can tell it would probably be quite an emotional experience for many parents, it can at times become overwhelming. It can it can,

00:34:03--> 00:34:20

we've not had any responses where it has a way has actually become overwhelming. The responses that we've had is that it's probably one of the best chapters in the book, because what they've done because they've read the letter, and they then have personalized the letter and they've wrote to their child, and the child has written back in a way they think the child would write back to them.

00:34:22--> 00:34:57

But grief itself is very overwhelming, you know, it's tiring, is exhausting, and which is why one of the other super one of the other services that we provide is as well as our Facebook page which which is Mashallah we provide a daily support, reminders to our parents and other people as well. We have closed Facebook groups. And what that does is that we have a mother's page and a father's page. And the beautiful thing about that is it allows the parents to share their story, because grief itself is very isolating. And so therefore to be given an opportunity of just somebody asking the words what's happened, because many times we don't do that research to see like, what's happened and

00:34:57--> 00:34:59

from research that's the biggest question that agree

00:35:00--> 00:35:27

This one as to why I think people feel awkward, don't they they don't want they think they're bringing up the subject again, they don't want to touch on it. Well, we're gonna come back and talk to you. And of course to the chef in a little while I want to hear both. from both of you some more about your relative subjects, we're gonna move on to something completely different for a moment that the traditional and most common styles of ovens are, of course, electric but a restaurant in Chile is doing things very differently. That's right, they're using a form of energy that is natural and also totally free of cost.

00:35:28--> 00:36:13

In a hot and dry village in Chile, one local restaurants disposition is very sunny. Indeed, the sun's rays are hard at work here at delicious Del Sol restaurant, cooking up delectable dishes in the eateries. 20. Solar ovens that can reach temperatures of up to 180 degrees. The ovens were originally introduced to the village as a trial project from the University of Chile to see if they could get people to use solar energy at home. When word got out that renewable wave cooking was taking place in the village. Curious tourists started dropping by to taste the sun cooked funfair project on Noida. The original project wasn't to start a restaurant. It's a project that came from

00:36:13--> 00:36:36

the University of Chile was for people to use solar ovens in their own homes. However, that same dream combined with the entrepreneurship of those involved inspired us to show people what we were doing at home on a daily basis, cooking with solar energy, we wanted to show tourists what can really be done with the solar oven saving energy, protecting the environment, preventing deforestation and

00:36:37--> 00:37:12

with the help of the 12,000 pound grant from the United Nations Development Programme, the restaurant followed. This energy efficient success is particularly well suited to the aptly named village assessor or dry town community, they receive approximately 310 days of sunshine a year. On top of that, firewood for wood burning oven is notably scarce in the arid region of Chile. And fuel is increasingly more expensive, making the sun powered ovens even more attractive to locals looking to save on fuel costs.

00:37:14--> 00:37:23

Where we are living things cost a lot. fuel is very expensive. And this solar energy is free. We have the sun year round, so it's viable for the long run.

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Tourists now come from around the world to try the eco friendly sun baked concoctions such as stew, roasted meat, fresh bread, and even cake for dessert, or interesting cooking, I would say with the solar panel I never saw before. So that's really interesting. And the food is just like

00:37:47--> 00:37:54

judging but satisfied guests, it looks like the sun will be this restaurants star employee for years to come.

00:37:56--> 00:38:15

A great concept I was reading an article about this the other day in the chat was saying that there's enough solar energy to power almost everything we need. You just have to get ourselves round to doing it. I found a solar energy company recently and asked them to do an assessment. And basically, you know, they told me what, my house is too miserable. That doesn't get enough sun. They said it's too big. It doesn't face the right direction. It's too gloomy. And they said no chance.

00:38:18--> 00:38:57

You're from Houston. I mean, there must be a big thing on solar energy over there. I mean, I know the Americans not top when it comes to renewables. But have you got sun all year round in Houston. It is very sunny in Houston, and Texas in general. But as you said, it's in America. It's not yet that now there's a lot of awareness about us. Basically, Solar's and thinking, actually, we look into that as a model for our domestic because our mustard is friendly to the environment and someone committed to it's very expensive, but it's not yet cost wise. It's kind of challenging. Yeah, but I just want to share something very quickly. I have one member of my community, he leads a project

00:38:57--> 00:39:33

where he provides solar power for remote villages with no electricity reach. So he donate that to the house. So they can have electricity. They have light, and it's a charity organization. And that that's very smart. He does this in village remote villages in Pakistan. Yeah. And in Africa as well. I know I saw I saw recently a solar powered fridge out in Africa. What a fantastic idea. Indeed. Well, it's time for our second break of the evening. But do make sure you stay with us for the final parts of tonight's living the life that's right after the break. We're gonna be reading more of your messages and get this we're gonna be seeing a dog who's a mathematician.

00:39:46--> 00:39:59

Here at living the life we want to hear from you. To get in touch. Tweet us at Islam channel, hashtag lt life facebook.com forward slash Islam channel. You can also email

00:40:00--> 00:40:36

Last, live in the life at Islam channel.tv. We look forward to hearing from you as salaam alaikum. And welcome back to the final part of tonight living the life we are, of course live and thank you all for getting in touch. Let's take a look at what you've been saying. We were asking you your views on practical joking. In light of the tragic story of the receptionist or nurse. I'm not sure he's a nurse or receptionist, but she took the call the prank call from Australia and sadly, she's committed suicide. So we want to hear do we think there's a place for practical jokes? And where do we draw the line? When does a practical joke go too far? And we've got one here from lammi Adams who

00:40:36--> 00:40:42

says it's not advisable to joke to the extent of scarring someone because people are very fragile, and it can lead to a catastrophe.

00:40:44--> 00:41:08

Yeah, absolutely. We've got one here from ruqayyah usif, who says there should be a limit to jokes. It should be limited to families and friends. And she's tweeting all the way from Nigeria. That's a popular opinions. A lot of people have been coming up saying, you know, you can do practical jokes, but it's got to be people who are close to you so that they don't take offence, and they know that it's a joke, and they know they know you as a character as well. So trust us. That's right. It's an important thing. And we've got one here from

00:41:09--> 00:41:28

Han, DAF 97, who says Islam doesn't stop laughter and isn't gloomy sense of humor is often a saving grace. And I mean, even Amma rhodiola and was a joker. I think we've got one asking the chef about his courses. How are you doing? We've got one here from Simon. He says, When is the chef going to diffic of love in Scotland?

00:41:30--> 00:41:47

Any plans to take your your marriage courses to Scotland? I would love to. Yeah, I'm sure it sounds like the people in Scotland are looking forward to coming back to shift very quickly. We asked earlier, if you could give us some tips for someone like myself who's been married for a very long time. How do we keep the marriage fresh?

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I think there is these little small things that you invest in, in the relationship between you and your and your spouse can always be very helpful in the future. It's like let's say it's like a safety deposit. The more you deposit small little things act of kindness, care, you can always use it later on when the things goes down. I know one brother, who he said I had a problem with my wife, you know, got onto fire. She was mad at me. So what he did he went and he got something. Basically he he said a chopsticks and he gave it to her. When she saw her she's like so the chopsticks she cried that she hugged them. What was the chopsticks? This is the chopsticks that he used to teach

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her how to eat, which subsequently first met years ago since reminded him so what I'm trying to say here, what are the things that keep your marriage fresh, these little acts of kindness. Don't underestimate them. That's what Allah said. You're like a garment garment made of 1000s of threads. So the thread that would make the the marriage. So that's that's one thing, and always express your love, verbally and through actions. Thank you very much. That's fantastic advice. Moving on, as we said before the break to something completely different today. There is this amazing and I'm telling you, this is an amazing feature that we're covering from China. It's a smart dog. Now we had some

00:43:10--> 00:43:12

smart dogs on the Widmark doesn't cover it the

00:43:14--> 00:43:52

drive from New Zealand last week. Well, this dog can do all sorts of maths and I'm talking about serious matters and intelligent dog. His name is Pooja which means potato living in the zing zing city of Guangzhou. And he's able to add, subtract, multiply and divide, even though of course, as he's a dog, he doesn't have any professional training, no professional training, he's able to show off all of his talents, he can do lots of things. He can even add up things like 3.44 plus 3.56. And he he manages to do the decimals and to bark the right answer and get this for him. He also a cameraman asked him to memorize his number and he managed to say one of the digits the number at the

00:43:52--> 00:44:02

correct time he barks seven times for the number seven in the incredible while you know he can count, he can do all sorts of things. He can remember digits, and in fact, I think we're gonna hear him about now.

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The show

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shows even more that shows that he can read as well as he can read English, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese and multi lingual. I understand you you mentioned many of your skills a teacher or your math teacher. Yes, I'm a math teacher and I would love to have some of those dogs in my classroom. That's amazing. That's a very intelligent dog. Mashallah, his question is can you do algebra though? Can you share? Well, what about that? You know, I like math until start math. start mixing numbers with alphabets.

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Did you know Did you know? That three quarters of people, three quarters of people. They can't do algebra. They struggle with fractions as well. But you know what? It is?

00:44:51--> 00:44:57

For my course of love, you know, math, maybe we cannot it doesn't teach us how to

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do

00:45:01--> 00:45:05

Love or minus hate, but tell us to solve problems Exactly.

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Before we end the show, if people want to get in touch they want to find out more How can they go about doing that they can contact us via our Facebook page, or they can contact us by info at children of gender.com and any information they request whether it's to support somebody else that we know whose child has died, Mashallah, we will provide them with the necessary information and share how can people get in touch with yourself? A mother.org that's our website. And you can always reach me at my Twitter Walid WLDK, bassoon Eb s y. o u ni. Fantastic. Well, look, thank you both. So much for joining us wish you the best of luck and all the blessings with your future work in sha

00:45:45--> 00:46:05

Allah. Thank you. Fortunately, we've reached the end of today's living the life a massive thank you for all of your messages and to our guest chef Walid buss uni. And of course also to half as is my living the life will be back at the same time tomorrow evening, do join us then. But until then, from all of us here living the life Assalamu alaikum, warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

00:46:23--> 00:46:25

girlfriends and friends have her sister,

00:46:26--> 00:47:07

her sister friends of her brother or relatives related to the family, that will be another popular methods through internet another problem. So we explore each method and we have a lot of group discussion, to see the brunt of the cons and each and every one of these methods. Then after that, if you select that person, how would they know that this is the right person? We teach? For example, conversations should be taking place different subjects, smart questions to ask. So you will figure out through this period of time, which is we call it engagement in a slot, then you have the contract period, which is another period of time without consummating the marriage, to get to know

00:47:07--> 00:47:44

the person even much closer Yeah, and I always advise the youth don't just rush into the marriage. Take your time there's something called engagement, where you choose here. Basically, there is a promise there is a serious steps we've taken towards marriage, I also advise the parents to give the space lead to make sure that this is enough time that this is really the right person. Yeah, there is a high rate of divorce in our communities, unfortunately we look at and reason because of the choice. As rushed into it. He didn't know the girl she didn't know the guy. They need to know each other. And I've seen a lot more of that recently this this concept of engagement period where people

00:47:44--> 00:48:11

get to know each other before they make the ultimate commitment check. We're gonna come back and talk to you a little bit more in a moment especially I want to hear about keeping the marriage fresh. See I've been married quite a long time, you might need some advice on that well, moving to something else to do with education. It's estimated that over 400,000 people are illiterate within the province of Basra in Iraq. And this makes it very difficult for many people to find jobs in that area. Well, a new initiative though, is looking to make those changes there.

00:48:14--> 00:48:48

In an attempt to eradicate illiteracy in Iraq, a brand new national campaign aimed at all age groups is offering free reading and writing courses. A total of 67 adult learning centers have been opened in the province so far, the number is expected to be increased to 350 to 400 centers in the future, vomited must was General Directorate of education has opened 67 male and female Learning Centers attended so far by 5000 people at the core learning centers have been opened in various parts of the north to the south, including the district so for

00:48:50--> 00:48:52

almudaina Guna.

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He added that there are no reliable up to date statistics on illiteracy rates in Iraq. The last census in Iraq took place in 1997. Therefore, all statistics available are based on data more than a decade old. However, a more recent survey carried out by the bosnia Education Department put the number of illiterate people in the province at 429,171. Farhan stress that it is never too late to learn how to read and write. A lot of people are targeted by the literacy campaign by those aged 15. and above. There is no upper age limit. And this means that even those who are 80 or 90 years old, enjoying the program, because all people have the right to education.

00:49:38--> 00:50:00

Upon completion of the program, students receive a certificate equivalent to grade four a formal education. There are many incentives for those taking these courses. illiterate members of the armed forces have to join the program and get the certificate or lose their jobs. literate farmers will be entitled to government loans and grants and skilled workers who can read and write will have the chance to get a job in government.

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In offices, a comprehensive campaign to eradicate illiteracy during the 1970s and 1980s, helped to increase literacy rates considerably. But many education programs came to a halt with the outbreak of the iran iraq war in 1980. This is now seen by many as a fresh approach to a vital cause. Literacy students have done Amir said the literacy program was a blessing for those who did not learn to read and write as children.

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We do not know how to read and write, we were deprived of schools. And now we see literacy centers as a blessing for us. We started to learn how to read and write. We were unable to read signs we saw in the streets, or children asked us for help with a homework, we could not read and write it was very hard.

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Whilst this campaign is a step in the right direction, it needs to ensure that it reaches out to everyone concerned.

00:50:53--> 00:51:16

Great initiative there, isn't it? And that's one of the brothers there said it's such a blessing, isn't it? It is I think the thing about illiteracy, we don't realize it as well as not being able to read and write it's connected with so many other poor life chances, you know, you're more likely to have health problems and you're more likely to be very poor, and you're more likely to have all sorts of difficulties. Sure, very quickly before we go to our break, how important is this concept of literacy of education within Islam?

00:51:17--> 00:51:49

We are the nation of o'clock. first verse, first command. I was very inspired actually to see older woman, older men coming and not feeling shy to go to study and to learn and to know how to read and write. That's very inspiring. I'm very happy and I hope to see more programs like that. Well, thank you very much. Well, look, it's time for the first break of the evening. Don't go anywhere. We've got plenty more to come on today's living the life yeah, after the break. We have a great YouTube clip and a whole lot more to see you in just a few minutes inshallah.

00:52:00--> 00:52:19

Here at living the life we want to hear from you to get in touch, tweet us at Islam channel, hashtag lt life facebook.com forward slash Islam channel. You can also email us live in the life at Islam channel.tv. We look forward to hearing from you

00:52:20--> 00:52:51

Assalamu alaikum. And welcome back to the second part of tonight's living the live we are of course live. And thank you all for getting in touch. Let's take a look at some of your messages. Lots and lots of you getting in touch about this one we asking you about practical jokes. Is there a place for practical jokes? Where do we draw the line when we're making practical jokes? And of course, this is all in the light of that tragic call that was made to the King Edward the seventh hospital with a lady who picked up the phone. And it was an awful voice. I don't know if you've heard the call brother, sister, but it was Hello. Could I speak to my granddaughter please? In fact, I think

00:52:51--> 00:53:30

that was better. My impersonation of the Queen was better than one. And she was put straight through to the Duchess of Cambridge and the lady who took that call and put the call through very tragically has gone committed suicide. A real tragedy indeed. Yeah. What are our viewers say? There's so many tweets coming in brother Rahim. We've got one here from extra shaniqua who says it's time for one of my favorite shows living the life machine and we've got one from Simon he says she's watching chef will lead on Islam todo is got her on the edge of her seat. Well, we'll have more discussion later on this hour. We've got one here from Tiger den who says that practical jokes are only funny if you

00:53:30--> 00:54:01

know the person. Well. I think there's some truth to that. I think there probably is. I mean, when I played that practical gentleman, a friend of mine, I mean, he really was quite scared. But he's a very, very close friend. And I knew that you know, hopefully it wasn't gonna happen. Yeah, first of all, and secondly, I know that he would find it funny, and he did one here from Muslim at 1406. He says that pranks are acceptable, but they should never prank call a hospital. How did that thought even cross their mind? I think it was thereafter. a nonstarter Really? Well then when you're talking about someone who's sick in hospital, yeah, that's true. ajibola sahid attorney has tweeted and say

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I love the topics being discussed today on living the life especially that of marriage, I think is a really important topic for forever. Absolutely. And we've got one here from Aki Shan, who says that there is a place for practical jokes. The Prophet sallallahu Sallam used to joke at times, but he never lied. Well, interesting thought that please do keep those tweets coming in. We'd love to hear from you. And Shall we coming back to our show in a little while to talk a little bit more about marriage. But I've got another question for you before then. Have you ever felt too lazy to do a bit of exercise? Oh, well, shame on you because even cats are finding time.

00:55:10--> 00:55:10

What's getting

00:55:13--> 00:55:25

I don't see I have seen people walking their dogs, you know, really lazy people on the treadmill and the dogs is captured while the person sits there watching TV munching cats. The interesting thing I thought was very interesting.

00:55:26--> 00:56:01

Now I wanted to ask, you know, when it comes to extreme sports, you know, we've covered quite a few extreme sports on having the life Well, we've got a new extreme sport, and this is snowmobile racing in Austria. This is something I've seen all sorts we've had. I mean, the other day, I mean, if you look at this, this is now racing around a track on these snowmobiles. And there's some fantastic names here that we're gonna have to get right first of all in the streets of Sun hinterglemm in Austria, they were turned into a snowy racetrack last Saturday for the so called Battle of the champions snowmobile race, citing stuff in a team comprising of three drivers shed a vehicle and it

00:56:01--> 00:56:23

led to some quick turnarounds and a few tumbles along the way, but they look like they're having lots of fun. Are you ready for these names? The evening events logistics team dominated, resulting in winners for Matthias Walker, Christine Brennan Ritter and Marcel Veen book, and in second place, just 27 seconds behind. We had Michael Stouffer Joseph hos naza and Hans George Hirsch. bisha.

00:56:25--> 00:56:28

Has vishna Oh, there we go. Adam Braga

00:56:29--> 00:56:32

and Andres Luke beckner, of gusto racing to

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tell you what we have had some fantastic extreme sports. We have indeed on living the life and you know what name is always saying he doesn't fancy that I'm really into extremes really. I want to do there's a thing Have you ever seen called the Birdman? No, you have to look this up on YouTube, the bird jump off cliffs, and then they just fly. They literally fly like birds. Yeah. Okay. Well, interesting stuff. I definitely will check that out. Now onto a more serious note, losing our loved ones can be a truly devastating time for all involved and even more so when mothers lose their own children. Absolutely. Well, with us tonight is a woman who has explored this subject extensively, so

00:57:08--> 00:57:12

please give a warm welcome to officer Ismail salaam aleikum says,

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a very tricky subject. Indeed, if we can start by asking, what was it that got you first involved in such a delicate area?

00:57:22--> 00:57:30

Well, in April 2011, my beloved two year old nephew his smile was diagnosed with leukemia and died a short while later,

00:57:31--> 00:58:09

a very sad, very sad time for the family. And I realized very shortly after very shortly after that, that really there was no organization where parents could actually go and seek specific advice, you know, from an Islamic perspective on bereavement issues on grief loss, bereavement issues. And I don't think it was a coincidence. But Mashallah, I met a number of Muslim parents who had also experienced the same thing. And I read a number of books, and I thought there isn't anything. So therefore hamdulillah I think it's time somebody started a group or it's just support page in Sharla to help these parents out. And other organizations called children of gender. That's right children.

00:58:09--> 00:58:40

He started about a year ago. Is that right? Yes, yes. Alhamdulillah. Yeah. Are you recommend starting point, you know, it was your nephew. And I think that's sometimes the extended family can be forgotten sometimes because the death of a young of a child in a family affects everybody, the grandparents, uncles, aunties, brothers, sisters, cousins, everybody feels it so acutely. Yes, absolutely. All of the family felt it then. And it was extremely difficult for all of us as well. And I think different people cope with it in different ways as well, in terms of, you know, the support that a mother might need, the support that the Father might need. And also, like you said,

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We mustn't ignore the grandparents and the children because children do grieve, of course. So you know, you you realize that there seemed to be a lack of provision of this service within the Muslim community. Where did you go too big at the start looking for advice on how to set up support and help? I mean, did you find that within the wider community, there was a lot of bereavement and grief services available? Well, there are a number of child bereavement organizations that already exist in the UK, none of them are actually catering specifically for Muslims. And even now Alhamdulillah we're working with some of the leading UK child bereavement organizations, and they to themselves

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feel that they're not quite meeting the needs of Muslim parents are therefore handed in and now we're collaborating with them and working together. What I did was I basically purchased every book that I could get hold of an Amazon because it just became a really fascinating subject for me. First of all, primarily to support myself to full support my family, my sister, and also the bereaved parents that were approaching me as well. And then Alhamdulillah that's when I started my research and I wrote my often my books are to serenity. Okay, check. This is a very, very, um, you know, a serious topic and it's something which probably affects quite a bit, you know, quite a lot of the

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Muslim community. What's your thoughts on this?

00:59:51--> 00:59:59

First of all, I would like to thanks to Heather and all that, and her husband, they've been doing a tremendous amount of work and really role models.

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area and encourage other people to follow the footsteps as well. No doubt the prophet SAW Selim said that Allah will be there for you, if you are for therefore people. So when you help people a lot will help you. And the support that we should offer to our neighbors to the community, non Muslim and non Muslim as well. It should be not only finished support material support, because of the emotional support, which is maybe even more important than that. And the prophets of Salaam, once one of his companions, he lost the child. So the process of him went out of his way, he because he asked, Where is that person and has his kid I don't see them anymore. So he was told that the child

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died. So the man was depressed at home. So the President went to the person and talk to him and give his condolences to him. And he said, if you wish, I can pray to Allah to bring him back to live to enjoy his company. But both of you will die, when you die, you will die with you, or you will be patient and stay until the Day of Judgment come, then your child, your child will meet you and will take you to enter Paradise from any gates you want. Charlotte, I mean, I suppose what that brings to light shampoo and anti sister half of that is the specific Islamic context. And that's what you're talking about that really bereavement, because when you're talking about things like death, then you

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automatically talk about beliefs and afterlife and all of that. So the context is different. But again, linking it to what the scheck was saying earlier, it puts an enormous stress on the marriage. Yes, it does. Absolutely. Yeah. And one of the one of our objectives in Sharla, in 2013, is to really look at sort of the way women grieve the way men grieve. Are there any differences between men and women grieving, because one thing that I've noticed is during the past year, I have over our closed Facebook pages, which I'll explain to what they are about, is we have experienced a number of divorces that have taken place as a result of a child dying, because the mother is grieving in a

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specific way the father is, and there's misunderstandings that are taking place, possibly due to lack of communication, and various other issues. So that is one topic inshallah, that we will be focusing on Sharla. So what sort of activities have you found have been helpful to families that you're dealing with people who have gone through this immensely difficult, as I mean, people say, you know, in passing, it's the most difficult thing that can happen to you really, isn't it? It's the biggest test that one can face. What sort of things have you found helpful when dealing with the Muslim community, one of the one of the most important thing is the belief in gender, and which is

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why we actually chose that in children of gender, because it's a, it's a name that gives hope it's a name that gives something to live for, where the where the children are. And one of the most beautiful things is because it's not really something that you tend to think about, you may have children, but no parent expects their child to die before them. Even though there's a belief in God that you don't really expect your child to die before you. So what what gender does the focus on gender is that that's where my child is. And not only is my child in gender, but he's Look, he's been looked after by the best. And that's Ibrahim Alayhi. Salaam and his wife. And there's so many

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descriptions of, of gender where these children are, that gives real hope and real benefit to our parents. And for many parents, they just didn't know that. So that's one thing, just really emphasizing where their children are. Secondly, is the permission to be human. It's, it's all very well what we found from our research and what what from what parents have said to us is that many times the words be patient will be uttered by somebody else that in with good intent, it would good intention to really understand exactly, exactly. So they're trying to help the bereaved parent. But what's happening is that by somebody saying to straightaway Be patient is almost giving them not the

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opportunity to undermining. Absolutely, that's something you actually covered in your book. And the book is

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a fantastic title. I love the title, copy here, serenity, and one of the exercises that you encourage parents to do is actually to write a letter to their last child, is that right? That's right. Yes. That's my favorite chapter in there. Yes, that's right. It's a it's a chapter that I feel that most many parents Mashallah have benefited from, we've received an overwhelming responses, from testimonials by emails via Facebook page, on really that chapter, because what that's doing is that it's placing their child somewhere, it's placing their child in a very safe and secure place because even when the children are alive, you know, people like to keep parents like to keep tabs on

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where their children are, they want to know where their children are. So what the beautiful thing about Islam is, is placed them in a place called gender. And, and by writing a letter, you know, journal therapy is giving them an opportunity to write to their child, as well as the child writing back to them saying, Mom, Dad, I'm okay, I'm in a safe place. I'm doing all these wonderful things and you know, sort of jumping from these trees and doing all this crazy stuff, Mashallah. And it's really helpful to the parent. I mean, you didn't have to correct me if I'm wrong, you didn't have a background professional background in psychology or counseling or grief work before this. Did you

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know my background is I work as an education consultant, which means working with head teachers basically maximizing the potential and the ability with students and teachers, which is something Mashallah I love. I also work

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As a life coach, so I think with those skills as well as naturally trying to bring the best out in people in terms of working with education as a teacher, I think that's helped me with the work that I'm doing with within children of gender. Now, going back to this topic that we're discussing about writing to the childcare, I mean, I can tell it would probably be quite an emotional experience for many parents, it can at times become overwhelming. He can't, we've not had any responses where he has a way has actually become overwhelming. The responses that we've had is that it's probably one of the best chapters in the book, because what they've done because they've read the letter, and

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they then have personalized the letter, and they've wrote to their child, and the child has written back in a way they think the child would write back to them.

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But grief itself is very overwhelming, you know, it's tiring, is exhausting, and which is why one of the other super one of the other services that we provide is as well as our Facebook page which which is Mashallah we provide a daily support, reminders to our parents and other people as well. We have closed Facebook groups. And what that does is that we have a mother's page and a father's page. And the beautiful thing about that is it allows the parents to share their story, because grief itself is very isolating. And so therefore to be given an opportunity of just somebody asking the words what's happened, because many times we don't do that, as you see, like what's happened and

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from research. That's the biggest question that Grievers want us to ask. I think people feel awkward, don't they? They don't want they think they're bringing up the subject again, they don't want to touch on it. Well, look, we're gonna come back and talk to you. And of course to the chef in a little while I want to hear both. from both of you some more about your relative subjects, we're gonna move on to something completely different for a moment. Now, the traditional and most common styles of ovens are of course electric, but a restaurant in Chile is doing things very differently. That's right, they're using a form of energy that is natural and also totally free of cost.

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In a hot and dry village in Chile, one local restaurants disposition is very sunny indeed. The sun's rays are hard at work here at delicious Del Sol restaurant cooking up delectable dishes in the eateries. 20 solar ovens that can reach temperatures of up to 180 degrees. The ovens were originally introduced to the village as a trial project from the University of Chile to see if they could get people to use solar energy at home. When word got out that renewable way of cooking was taking place in the village. Curious tourists started dropping by to taste the sun cooked funfair project on Noida. The original project wasn't to start a restaurant. It's a project that came from the

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University of Chile was for people to use solar ovens in their own homes. However, that same dream combined with the entrepreneurship of those involved inspired us to show people what we were doing at home on a daily basis, cooking with solar energy. We wanted to show tourists what can really be done with the solar oven saving energy, protecting the environment, preventing deforestation and

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with the help of the 12,000 pound grant from the United Nations Development Program, the restaurant followed. This energy efficient success is particularly well suited to the aptly named village assessor or dry town community, they receive approximately 310 days of sunshine a year. On top of that, firewood for wood burning oven is notably scarce in the arid region of Chile. And fuel is increasingly more expensive, making the sun powered ovens even more attractive to locals looking to save on fuel costs.

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Where we are living things cost a lot. fuel is very expensive. And this solar energy is free. We have the sun year round, so it's viable for the long run.

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Tourists now come from around the world to try the eco friendly sun bake concoctions such as do roasted meat, fresh bread and even cake for dessert are interesting cooking, I would say with the solar panel I never saw before. So that's really interesting. And the food is just great. Like and

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judging but satisfied guests. It looks like the sun will be this restaurant star employee for years to come.

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A great concept I was reading an article about this the other day in the chat was saying that there's enough solar energy to power almost everything we need. You just have to get ourselves round to doing it. I found a solar energy company recently and asked them to do an assessment and basically, you know, they told me what my house is too miserable. That doesn't get enough sun. They said it's too bad. It doesn't face the right direction is too gloomy and they said no chance.

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Yeah. Well, you're from Houston. I mean, there must be a big thing on solar energy over there. I mean, I know the Americans not top when it comes to renewables. But I mean, you got sun all year round in Houston. It is very sunny in Houston, and Texas in general. But as you said it's an America has not yet that now there's a lot of awareness about us. Basically Solar's and thinking Actually, we look at

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To that as a model for our method, because our method is friendly to the environment and someone committed to, it's very expensive, but it's not yet cost wise, it's kind of challenging. Yeah, but I just want to share something very quickly. I have one member of my community, he leads a project where he provides solar power for remote villages with no electricity reach. So he donate that to the house. So they can have electricity. They have light, and it's a charity organization. And that that's very smart. He does this in the village remote villages in Pakistan. Yeah. And in Africa, as well. And you know, I saw I saw recently a solar powered fridge out in Africa. What a fantastic

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idea. Indeed, well, it's time for our second break of the evening. But do make sure you stay with us for the final parts of tonight's living the life that's right after the break, we're going to be reading more of your messages and get this we're going to be seeing a dog, who's a mathematician can't wait to see that shortly.

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Here at living the life, we want to hear from you to get in touch. Tweet us at Islam channel, hashtag lt life facebook.com forward slash Islam channel. You can also email us live in the life at Islam channel.tv. We look forward to hearing from you as salaam alaikum. And welcome back to the final part of tonight living the life we are of course live and thank you all for getting in touch. Let's take a look at what you've been saying. We were asking you your views on practical joking. In light of the tragic story of the receptionist or nurse. I'm not sure he's a nurse or receptionist, but she took the call the prank call from Australia and sadly, she's committed suicide. So we want

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to hear do we think there's a place for practical jokes? And where do we draw the line? When does a practical joke go too far? And we've got one here from lammi Adams who says it's not advisable to joke to the extent of scarring someone because people are very fragile, and it can lead to a catastrophe.

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Yeah, absolutely. We've got one here from ruqayyah usif, who says there should be a limit to jokes. It should be limited to families and friends. And she's tweeting all the way from Nigeria. That's a popular news. A lot of people have been coming up saying, you know, you can do practical jokes, but it's got to be people who are close to you so that they don't take offense and they know that it's a joke, and they know they know you as a character as well. So trust us. Yes, that's right. It's an important thing. And we've got one here from

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Han, DAF 97, who says Islam doesn't stop laughter and isn't gloomy sense of humor is often a saving grace. And I mean, even amaura dilla and was a joker. I think we've got one asking the chef about his courses? We do. We've got one here from Simon he says, When is the chef going to diffic of love in Scotland?

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Any plans to take your your marriage courses to Scotland? I would love to. Yeah, I'm sure it sounds like the people in Scotland are looking forward to coming back to shift very quickly. We asked earlier, if you could give us some tips. You know, someone like myself has been married for a very long time. How do we keep the marriage fresh?

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I think there is these little small things that you invest in, in the relationship between you and your and your spouse can always be very helpful in the future. It's like that's, it's like a safety deposit. The more you deposit small little things act of kindness, care, you can always use it later on when the things goes down. I know one brother, who he said I had a problem with my wife, you know, got onto fire. She was mad at me. So what he did he went and he got something. Basically he he said a chopsticks and he gave it to her. When she saw her she saw the chopsticks she cried that she hugged them. What was the chopsticks? This is the chopsticks that he used to teach her how to eat,

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which subsequently first met years ago since reminded him so what I'm trying to say here, what are the things that keep your marriage fresh, these little acts of kindness. Don't underestimate them. That's why Allah said, You're like a garment garment made of 1000s of threads. So the threads that make the the marriage. So that's that's one thing, and always express your love, verbally and through actions. Thank you very much. That's fantastic advice. Moving on, as we said before the break to something completely different today. There is this amazing and I'm telling you this is an amazing feature that we're covering from China. It's a smart dog. Now we had some smart dogs on the

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Widmark doesn't cover it the

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drive from New Zealand last week. Well, this dog can do all sorts of maths and I'm talking about serious matters and intelligent dog. His name is poodle which means potato living in the zing zing city of Guangzhou and he's able to add, subtract, multiply and divide even though of course, as he the donkey doesn't have any professional training or professional training. He's able to show off all of his talents. He can do lots of things. He can even add up things like 3.44 plus three

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point five, six. And he he manages to do the decimals and to bark the right answer and get this for him he also a cameraman asked him to memorize his number and he managed to say one of the digits the number at the correct time he barks seven times for the number seven in the cameras numbers incredible while you know he can count, he can do all sorts of things he can remember digits, and in fact, I think we're gonna hear him about now.

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The show

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shows even more that shows that he can read as well as he can read English, Chinese, Chinese, multilingual, I understand that you mentioned many of your skills as a teacher. Are you a math teacher? Yes, I'm a math teacher and I would love to have some of those dogs in my class. That's amazing. That's a very intelligent dog. Mashallah, his question is can you do algebra though?

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Well, what about that? You know, I like math until start math, start mixing numbers with alphabets.

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Did you know what did you know that three quarters of people, three quarters of people, they can't do algebra. They struggle with fractions as well. But you know what? It is?

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For my course of love, you know, math, maybe we can. It doesn't teach us how to

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love or minus hate. But tell us to solve problems Exactly.

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Before we end the show, if people want to get in touch they want to find out more How can they go about doing that they can contact us via our Facebook page. Or they can contact us by info at children of gender.com and any information they request whether it's to support somebody else that they know whose child has died, inshallah we will provide them with the necessary information and share how can people get in touch with yourself? A mother.org that's our website. And you can always reach me at my twitter at Waleed WLED K. Bus uni BSY or your ni fantastic Well look, thank you both so much for joining us wish you the best of luck and all the blessings with your future work in

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Sharla. Thank you. Fortunately, we've reached the end of today's living the life a massive thank you for all of your messages and to our guest chef Walid buss, uni and of course also to half as is Mayor living the life. We'll be back at the same time tomorrow evening. do join us then. But until then, from all of us here living the life Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh