Friday Sermon – Are You A Father
Channel: Waleed Basyouni
File Size: 28.65MB
Episode Transcript ©
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In that hamdulillah in Amador who want to stay you know who want to study who want to stop
when I would have allowed him in surely unforeseen ailment say it Marlena Mejia de la who further mobila Who wanna uwchlan fella
wash Mohammed bin Abdullah who also Allah
Muhammad Canossa later
Abraham in Mecca Hamidah Majeed
Oh praise due to Allah and His praise and blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam,
his family, his companions and his followers until the day after, I witness that Allah is the only one word for your friendship, and Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa he was sending his last and final messenger. My dear brothers and sisters.
At Boston Marathon
there was a lot of story should be told.
US inspiring story should be known to all of us.
It's not only that hate story.
It's not only that evil tragedy that took place and killed innocent people that people are very familiar with when they hear the word whilst a mother.
This was a very special month on Boston. Love because we can never remember the death and the eruption the terrorist attack that took place
just few days before 2013 Boston Marathon.
A beautiful bronze statues was unveiled at right at the starting point for this month.
The statues was a status of a father and her son and his son
who raised together more than 1000 races are
1000s and 1000s of miles together and allow you to take you back 50 years on time to see how the story is stalled.
50 years ago.
was born during his deliver complication happened
where basically strangled by the
court during his birth, leaving his brain damaged and unable to control his limbs confined to a wheelchair.
The poor child when he was nine months old, the doctor said to the Father, in a very mean cruel why
he will be vegetable the rest of his life. But
put him in an institute. That will be my advice for you. You're not going to be able to handle that killed.
His parents absolutely refused the curl the mean advice.
And when Rick was 11 years old, his father took him to an engineering department,
Tufts University which is close to Boston. And he stopped exploring
the rig him to computer machine. And finally, he was able to move his head to touch with his head screen where he was able for the first time to communicate with his parents. And he started writing things on the screen to his father and to his mother
with fake reviews.
But the story didn't stop here. When he was 11 years old. His as I said, that's what happened to him. Then, after that when he's in school, when he was in high school to be specific, the high school that he was in the urbanized a five miles charity run,
which told his father he taught that I want to participate. He's a wheelchair. He said that I want to participate. His father never ever participated in a marathon or anything like that any type of physical activity before. But the father said to his son, let's do it. He pushed him for this five miles. For two weeks. The poor guy was sure and couldn't move much because that's not something he was used to. That he said all this
God Allah when my son wrote to me by the end of the fireflies, the phones
that when we were running, I felt for the first time. Like I was interesting
anymore. I wasn't disabled anymore.
He said, that sense of change my life and my family's life. They became obsessed with my house and
with giving his son the feeling of walking again, the feeling of freedom, the feeling of freedom, as often as he could. This thought running almost every day together,
which basically was his father running and pushing his son in the wheelchair
to participate in in Marathon, that's 26.2 miles. And in 1983, they won one as fast as be qualified for the famous Boston Marathon.
It's amazing, I'm not going to go into details of their life. Just let you know the room together. 1000 mouth 1000 words.
This is was a father, who never was very good before to practice anything like that. But he found that connection that closeness to his son, the needs of the Son and He was there for pushing that 110 pounds
or chart all these models. It just give him nothing but joy.
Not only stopped to actually participate in what is known as Tirtha law, in the middle of the toughest one in the country, the Ironman and highway.
One of the toughest one in the country
could not compete without his father and his father wouldn't compete without his son.
He has never raced alone. He said that he only does it to see that canter cantaloupe smile and his KidSpace.
This year 2013. It was supposed to mark the 31st Boston Mark offer this covers
was the 31st Boston Marathon together. And it should mark the end of this. Basically mark on participation.
The same this year is 50 years old. And the father is 72 years old.
But unfortunately, because of the ball, they could have finished the marathon. That's what the President mentioned their story in his speech that they will come back next year to finish.
My brothers and sisters to amazing one, one of the marathons. They finished that whole entire marathon in 40 minutes. That's only 35 minutes less than that won't work
and weren't brokered, has nothing to do with not someone running through. This is like pushing a wheelchair kid.
No questions about it.
Rick taught my dad is the father of the century.
The thing I would most work type that is that my dad one day he will be in the chair and I will be able to push him around as he'd been doing for all these years. Sir has been serving me all these years.
You know, the reason I'm bringing this specially in the summer was about to start.
Where I think this upcoming summer will be an excellent opportunity for each and every one of us to become a better father, to his children
to come closer to his sons and daughters.
You know, one of the most well known Hadith about fatherhood goes like this underlying message reported that the Prophet sallallahu that he heard the prophets of Allah Allah Salam said, each one of you as a ship, and each of you will be asked about your flaw. A leader will be asked about his flaw. Every man is a ship to his family. Every man is a ship to his family. Everyone woman is a custodian of her home and children. Each one of you is a shaper. And each one will be asked about the
flow reported by big pharma.
I just want you fathers to picture that image. I know industrial society, we're not used to, you know, be around shapes and shapes. But I just want you to imagine that what we should look for,
what Welcome to possess, what kind of quality that you possess, that make you that shepherd that the prophets as Allah was speaking about. Unfortunately, we live in a society here, and this is one thing,
not only the American society, this is the Muslim society, the Muslim community. And it's so ironic that it's a kind of better one for us. Double thing for us. It's a very common among Muslims, communities in general, no matter where their roots goes back. And it's very, it's a very American things in this culture, which is that what brings smiles with mother.
That's another century, you know, think about this generation, I call them mother generations. They also want to raise the kids, then we'll take care of the kids. They're not fathers generations.
It's very few to say, you know, the kids. In the fall, the owners were
raised by the mother took care of the by the mother. I mean, it's a different picture, if you go to
how many of you the only way that you said, You know what I was with my mother, my mother.
My father told me, it was my father's my father, he taught me this, he taught me this. He taught him that often today.
Because our generation, unfortunately, is basically we think parenting is something to work. That's the middle job.
Maybe it's not the same as the fall. In fact, parenting is not the same as fathering.
And today, I'm not just asking you to be a father, because everybody can be a father. Father, being a father, that's something you do. I want you to be a dad, I want you to be someone who will be loved
by his children.
And they that title, because you will never be just giving it like that. Because how the children are having a wife. No, you need to earn it. You know, in the pop culture that we're living in today, half of the DAT surveyed the set, that they feel like we all replaceable.
Half of the that they said the field that replaceable, I can divorce I can move on to someone else. I feel like I'm repressed when I don't feel that if I disappear from my family's picture, the whole thing will collapse.
Most of the father who don't feel and believe me if that's how you feel that's a very dangerous
that's very dangerous.
Because if you see that you're so replaceable. You just like another TV station, another smartphone, you know, just can be replaced in anytime.
One thing that I would like to talk about specifically how to make you a successful father, or a good fall shipper good as the process of them described, number one, in my opinion is taking responsibility
that you feel better and responsible for my family. And by the way, don't ever think responsibility means that you choke everybody around. Responsibility doesn't mean to strip people from their freedom. No responsibility is to take the responsibility and to fulfill your duties to work. Because sometimes we found that we take things for granted. We think that because we're missing our kids will be missed. We offer our kids with the prayer you know within because I've managed to get one of my full time people because I want my kids will be nice because I've advocated my kids will be not I take things for granted. And I want to tell you that's not true.
Look at the most deserving person to feel to feel secure about history. The Brotherhood is set up profitable.
Near my children for motion goddess worship God has Abraham worry about his job and his children about their children
going to share
He gathered his sons around him and he said, What are we going to worship after me? He didn't take it for granted. And just for the record, he didn't know that both children's are prophets.
He didn't take it just for granted.
You know, I think it's about time to take that responsibility. It is not your wives responsibility. Your
mother, mother, they can do everything you do, except one thing.
Your wife can earn more money than you. You
can go outside can do everything you think you're doing very special, somewhat special about you, your mother, she can
protect us, she can protect the house.
She's gonna shut down.
What do you think he do? The only thing it's make you different is you being a father, and that's something she cannot do. So it's not the only thing
that make you distinguish at the house.
You need to re evaluate what is your what is your really role in your children's life. And the second law of the Federal Bureau model, you know,
your kids might not listen to you. But I guarantee you that they are watching.
I say that again. He might not listen to you, but they are watching you very carefully.
You reward model for your children.
Do you know who's on the prophets are sometimes role models that he always mentioned is his great father, Ibrahim, and he always referred to as my father. My father brought him my father.
Who's Allah subhanaw taala mentioned 73 times in the Quran in 25 chapters, for what because he was in
and was tested with so many things. And one of my favorite parts of the tests that he'd been through, and it's a sci fi word not because I like it. It's sad. It's hard.
The conversation that took place between him and his father, just the language, the way we communicate with each others. You know, a man who called people to worship Allah His father is the man from the same house with the message if it comes from the same house his father is the man who makes the idols for the people to worship. Wow.
But how's the relationship between this man and his father the Brahim has set up where the Philippines
ever seen one
you the best way I can translate this daddy.
That's how that sounds exactly in Arabic.
Don't follow the shape on he's a disobedient creature. Yeah.
Follow me I will guide you I will show you the strict path. You're the one on the front that if you discontinue disobey Allah will punish you
than the father said and he can even hear if you don't know Arabic. You just can tell that this is the father of satan because the language the letters that it was used, so strong rain you in about Cisco work
kick him out, get out of the house. I don't want to see your face. But with all of us he still say calmness and
peace be upon thought that this
poor translation doesn't do justice to the to the beautiful words of Ibrahim that he has set up. He said I will continue to make her out for you. I will ask my lord for forgiveness for you.
You know it
I think I don't know about you. But I think it's very easy to forgive a stranger.
But it's very hard to forgive someone or too close to you.
And it's very hard to forgive relatives, you know that they have a department in the psychology, it just focused on forgiving, you know, parents, I was like a special therapy about that, because it's very hard thing to forgive your parents. But he's willing, my parent is
a role model for our Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu, ala you it was Senator,
you know, in the early childhood, free child looking for a lot for the for
your child might be just one person for you, one child for you. But I want you to know that you feed your child everything,
he might be one thing for you. But for him, you are everything. You are the doctor, or the judge, or the teacher, You are the love, you can even be his horse, that you ride your back when he was a kid, you're everything for your child.
So make sure that you really take advantage of that. Make sure that you really value that. Make sure that you really take that to the next point to the next level. By being a role model who
raise their children to be good. You know, those kids who will come to the masjid would have their mothers, you know, what's the result, the result today Muslim community in America, we are under less than 2% Come to the massage.
And I bet you anything, they for those who bring kids in the massage
are taken care of by the work because the mothers are nuts not because the mother of
whatever that's that's not my voice.
But because they've done a good job. It's because of us the lack of authenticity patient I bet you anything this will jump all the way up high percentage.
I love it when I see kids coming with a father's even if they make noise a little bit. And I know that they'll cost to the Father that goes to the Father the the talk to them
you know, the next point that they want to do so you act like a role model the next point because of the tongue, and listen one subject, the next time is spent time. Let me tell you, how could spell the word love.
T I M E.
That's how you spell
the word the word time. The more you spend time with them. The more you love, the less you spend time with them, the less love you receive from you.
wake up late in the night and the father was coming late from work. So the father saw the kids who say someone were awake.
I just woke up he took care of him took him to the his bed and he said that he said what he said how much you make an hour.
He said well, you're asking this question
cheap, you know, on a 50 bucks for two hours. No, just got sleep. It's too late. Next day, he saw him late. There is a date I was waiting for you. He said what he's gonna give me $5. So that's why I'm asking this why you care about money too early on for that any of the kids after about three weeks, he came to his dad and he said that. He said well, he said that's a 50 bucks right here on a by our from you.
On the golden hour from you. I just want to spend one hour with you.
I'm just asking you and I'm as guilty as so many of you
how many times last week, you have an actual good quality time with your children.
There is a study I'm not going to bother you with numbers. It shows that the families that is spent
five dinners every week with the children, five dinners every week with children. Their children are most likely to be successful, to be immune from drugs to be immune from failure to be good in their schools to have a brighter future.
82% of this will or J 82% of this. They admitted they had no relationship with father figure at home.
About 85% and one higher percentage higher percentage
of domestic violence case it shows the voice people who are involved in domestic violence. They have no father figure or the father figure
As an abuser
you know what the last thing I want you to be that band will walk into the mustard one day
crying. So the Imam told him what's wrong.
He said My daughter is pregnant.
Out of Fernleigh
out of Zina,
I don't know what to do with her.
How old was 18 years old.
But you know what? Unfortunately this is the first time to give focused attention to his car.
He had wanted to be in that position. I don't want any one of us to be in that position. When you find this, your kids are on drugs. Your kids is completely lost. Has got unfettered the sometimes could be too late.
As long as not enough. Don't think that extra hours that you put in work your kids don't want you extra money.
Your kids will love it and prefer and they are better off with less amount of money that may amount of time that you spend with them.
May Allah subhanaw taala protect our children now was gonna make us any roaches us and our children
mother and sisters, my challenge to you this hope and this coming summer that you can knit connect to at least three dinners with your family every single week.
You know what connect to something with some
you know what, at least one week and vacation together. You didn't need to be rich to do that. Yeah, I think go to hotwire you might find $50
hotel, a three star hotel. For sourdough, you can find
any one of these websites, you do need to be okay. It's worth it to have the balls, put your stick together.
If it's really important, I said, if you're really proud to the extent we're willing to help financially for you come to me.
And I'm going to spend this money for my kids just to come close to spend time together, you're gonna take them maybe $2 to to walk and spend the day on the beach, come back.
Home, take them up on it make food and go to the pocket eat together. You didn't, you do need to be rich to have a good time together with the family.
So in response to
one of the most important thing to be an effective father figure in your home is to show your kids your love to their mothers.
That's a very unique and very important. You know what, when you walk into the house, before you impress before you hug your kids hug your wife.
Before you walk in your children walking your husband.
The first thing you do is basically build that strong relationship that more because the more that child see that connection between parents, the blue settled the child will be the more likes he will be or she will be the more secure that they will feel.
And if you want not to take my word hold
youth director who deal with the youth all the time, just go ask him about what I said today.
Tell him tell us the story that you hear from the kids that you dealt with through the experience of your life. And you will see her stories.
My brothers sisters, it is very
important for you to think about what I'm going to do in this summer to invest more, I'm going to be a better father and by being responsible for my kids, for their education for their well beings to a work your role model for them. I will act not a stock. I will show respect to them. Three, that I will basically show better I will be spending time with them. Number four, be better husband. That's one of the best thing to do your kids believe it or not. Number five, stop judging your kids. Don't feel that don't let them feel you judge them because they'll judge by everything around them. The judge
Either way, the dress the way we talk the way what kind of form they carry everything around us and the society to judge us. So, make sure that you not another element of judgment in their life except them and show them that you accept them and you trust them.
And finally, do some fun activity together plan it together.
Especially, you have plenty of time in Sharla and this summer, Melis penalty is coming as well. May Allah subhanaw taala and you still have to react in order to come along if I know if you know if and then Ohana will suddenly suddenly mad and Muhammad Ali was so should be
meeting me not even human am What about you know as long as you know that you know what the reality problem as well as you know the reality in a Kurata in
a manner also matters