Are You a Father

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Waleed Basyouni

Channel: Waleed Basyouni

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

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In Al Hamdulillah in Amador, who want to stay in who wanna study who want to stop

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him in Sheree. I'm fusina

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Marina Maria de la who Farah mobila who wanna

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wash

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wash

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can oscillate

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in Mecca hamidah Maggie amudha

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praise ditto loves his praise and blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam,

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his family, his companions and his followers until the dictator or the witness that was the only one word for for sure. And Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam his last and final messenger. McGee brothers and sisters.

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at Boston Marathon,

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there was a love story should be told

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us inspiring stories should be known to all of us.

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It's not only that Hate Story.

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It's not only that evil tragedy that took place and kill innocent people that people are very familiar with when they hear the word, foster mother.

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This was a very special month on in Boston, not because we can remember the death of the eruption, the terrorist attack that took place

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just few days before 2013 Boston Marathon

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a beautiful bronze statue was unveiled at right at the starting point for this mother.

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The statues was a status of a father and her son and his son

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who raised together more than 1000 races are

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1000s and 1000s of miles together

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and allowed me to take you back 50 years on time to see how the story started.

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50 years ago,

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Rick Hall

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was born. During his delivery, complications

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were basically strangled by the

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Corps during his birth, leaving his brain damaged and unable to control his limbs confined to a wheelchair.

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The poor child when he was nine months old, the doctor said to the Father, in a very mean cruel, why

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he will be vegetable, the rest of his life. But

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put him in an institute. That will be my advice for you. You're not going to be able to handle that kid.

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His parents absolutely refused that cruel the mean advice.

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And when Rick was 11 years old, his father took him to an engineering department.

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Tufts University which is close to Boston. And he started exploring

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the rig him to computers or machine and finally, he was able to move his head into touch with his head screen where he was able for the first time to communicate with his parents and start writing things in the screen to his father and his mother.

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With very good news.

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But the story didn't stop here. When he was 11 years old, his as I said, that's what happened to him. Then, after that, when he was in school, when he was in high school to be specific, the high school that he was in the organized a five miles charity run.

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told his father he taught that I want to participate. He's a wheelchair, he said that I want to participate. His father never ever participated in the marathon or run or anything like that any type of physical activity before.

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But the father said to the Son, what stood he pushed him for this five months. For two weeks, the poor dad was sore and couldn't move much. Because that's not something he was used. That he said all this

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When my son wrote to me by the end of the five lines, the following statement that when we were running, I felt for the first time, like I wasn't sad

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anymore. I wasn't disabled anymore.

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He said, that sense of change my life and my family's life, they became obsessed with microphones and running with giving the son the feeling of walking again, the feeling of

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the feeling of freedom as often as he could, this talk running almost every day together,

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which basically was this father running and pushing his son in the wheelchair

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to participate in in marathon, that's 26.2 miles. And in 1983, they run run as fast as they qualify for the famous Boston Marathon.

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It's amazing, I'm not gonna go into details of their life, just let you know the room together 1000 mouth or 1000 words.

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This is was a father, who never was able before to practice anything like that. But he found that connection, that closeness to the needs of his son, and he was there for pushing that 110 pounds

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or cha.

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Models. It just gives them nothing but joy.

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Not

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actually participating in what is known as tirth law.

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The toughest one in the country, the Iron Man and

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one of the toughest one in the country

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could not compete without his father. And his father wouldn't compete without his son.

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He has never raised the note. He said that he only doesn't see that Cantor cantaloupe smile and his kids face.

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This year 2013. It was supposed to mark the 31st Boston Marathon

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was the 31st Boston Marathon together. And it should not be the end of this. Basically, mark on participation.

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The same this year is 50 years old. And the father is 72 years old.

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But unfortunately, because of the ball, they could have finished America. That's why the President mentioned their story in his speech that they will come back next year to finish

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my brothers and sisters to amazing one, one of them marathons. They finished the whole entire marathon in four minutes. That's only 35 minutes less than that World War.

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And World Poker has nothing to do with that someone running for this is like pushing a wheelchair kid.

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No questions about it.

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riktigt My dad is the father of the century.

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The thing that most reptiles that is that my dad one day he will be in the chair and I will be able to push him around as he been doing for all these years. Serving has been serving me all these years.

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You know, the reason I'm bringing this specially in the summer was about to start.

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This upcoming summer will be an excellent opportunity for each and every one of us to become a better father, to his children

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to come closer to his sons and daughters.

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You know one of the most well known hobbies about fatherhood

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goes like this,

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reported that the profits that he heard the Prophet sallallahu Sallam said, each one of you as a ship, and each of you will be asked about your flaw. And we will be asked about his flaw. Every man is a shepherd to his family. Every man is a shepherd to his family. Every woman is the custodian of her home and children. Each one of you is a shepherd and each one will be asked

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Flow reported by,

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I just want you fathers to picture that image. I know industrial society, we're not used to, you know, be around shapes and shapes. But I just want you to imagine them wherever they

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want,

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versus what kind of productivity you possess, that make you the chip of the profits as we're speaking about. Unfortunately, we live in a society here. And this is one thing.

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Not only the American society, this is the Muslim society, the Muslim community. And it's so a one on one for us. Double thing for us. It's a very common among Muslim communities in general.

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Roots goes back, and it's very, it's a very American things in this culture, which is that with smiles with Muslim,

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Central, you know, you think about this generation.

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They raise the kids, they will take care of the kids, they're not fathers generations.

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It's very few to say, you know, the kids are

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always with the mother, raised by the mother to pay by the mother. I mean, it's a different picture, if you go.

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How do

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you know, I was with my mother, my mother.

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My father told me was my father's my father, he taught me this, he taught me this. He told him that often today.

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Because our generation unfortunately, is basically within parenting is something to work. That's the middle job.

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It's not the same as the farm. In fact, parenting is not the same as farming.

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And today, I'm not just asking you to be a father, because anybody can be a father, father, being a father, something you do, I want you to be a dad,

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I want you to be someone who will be loved

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by his children.

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That title, because you'll never be just giving it like that, because how the children are having the wife know, you need to earn it. You know, in the pop culture that we're living in today, half of the bat survey, they said that they feel like we all replaceable.

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Half of the gods, they said, the field that replaceable, you know, I can divorce I can move on to someone else. I feel like I'm replaceable in I don't feel that if I disappear from my family's picture, the whole thing will collapse.

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Most of the father didn't feel that. And believe me, if that's how you feel that's a very dangerous,

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that's very dangerous.

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Because if you see that you're so replaceable. He's just like another TV station. And never smartphone, you know, just can be replaced in any time.

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One thing that I would like to talk about specifically how to make you a successful father, or a good father, a shipper that as the process described, number one, in my opinion is taking responsibility.

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The chief number two, I'm responsible for my phone. And by the way, don't ever think responsibility means that you choke everybody around. Responsibility doesn't mean to strip people from the freedom. My responsibility is to take the responsibility and to fulfill your duties to work. Because sometimes we found that we take things for granted. We think that because

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we are

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in everything because I'm married to a good woman.

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Because my kids will be nice, because I advocated my kids will be not taken for granted. And that's not true.

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The most deserving person to feel to feel secure about

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protect

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my children from

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the brain

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and

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children.

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When you

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gathered around him. And he said, Well, I really want to worship after me. He didn't take it for granted. And just for the record, if you don't know that children are prophets,

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he didn't take it just for granted.

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You know, I think it's about time to take that responsibility. It is not your wife's responsibility. You

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know, we can do everything you do, except one thing.

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You can earn more money than you. You

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can go outside can do anything you think you're doing. The

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very thing it makes you different is you being a father, she cannot do

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the only thing

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that make you distinguish at the house,

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you need to re evaluate what is your what is your role in your children's life. And the second law of the shipper bureau model,

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you know,

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your kids might not listen to you. But I guarantee you that they are watching.

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I'll say that, again, not listening to you. But they are watching you very carefully.

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For your children.

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Do you know who's on the profits, or sometimes role models that he always mentioned, is his great father, Ibrahim, and he always referred to as my father, my father, my father,

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who's ever mentioned 73 times in the

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in 25 chapters for that, because he was in the biomechanics.

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And was tested with so many things. And one of my favorite parts of the tests that he went through, and it's

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not because I like it, it's sad. It's

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the conversation that took place between him and his father.

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Just the language, the way we communicate with each other's you know, American people.

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This father is the man from the same house with the message of There it comes from the same house, his father is the man who makes the idols for the people to worship.

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Wow.

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But how's the relationship between this man and his father

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cache?

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factor factored?

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In

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the best way I can translate this data?

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how that sounds exactly in Arabic.

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Don't follow the sheep barn? is a disobedient creature. Yeah.

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Follow me. I will guide you. I'll show you the straight path. Yeah.

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I'm afraid that if you discontinue this, or punish you.

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Then the father said and he can even hear if you don't know Arabic. You just can tell this is the father mistaken because the language the letters that it was used, so strong rain you in your own word.

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Let me

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kick him out, get out of the house. I don't want to see your face. But with all this he still say, calmness and

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Peace be upon you, in fact, that this

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poor translation doesn't do justice to the to the beautiful words of Abraham and he said, he said I will continue to make them out for you. I will ask my Lord for forgiveness for you.

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You know, it's

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I think I don't know about you. But I think it's very easy to forgive a stranger.

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But it's very hard to forgive someone or too close to you.

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And it's very hard to forgive relatives, you know that they have a department in the psychology, it just focused on forgiving, you know, parents, I was like a special therapy about that, because it's very hard thing to forgive your parents. But he's really, my parent is a

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model for our Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu

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wasallam.

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You know, in the early childhood, free child looking for a lot for for

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your child might be just one person for you, one child for you. But I want you to know that you, for your child, everything,

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he might be one thing for you. But for him, You are everything. You are the doctor, or the judge or the teacher, you are the love, you can even be his horse, that you ride your back when he was a kid, you're everything for your child.

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So make sure that you really take advantage of that. Make sure that you really value that make sure that you really take that to the next point to the next level. By being a role model who will raise their children to be good, you know, those kids will come to the mustard wherever mothers, you know, what's the result the result of a Muslim community in America, we have only less than 2% come to the massage.

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A for those of us who've been kitchen the massage

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taking care of it, not because the models are nuts, not because the mirror or

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whatever, but that's not my boy.

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Good job. It is because of the lack of

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anything, this will jump all the way up. high percentage.

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I love it. When I see kids coming with a father's even if they make noise a little bit, I know that they'll cost you the power that goes to the forum the the talk to them,

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you know,

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the next point that they want to do so you act like a role model the next point because of the time, and this is one subject. The next slide is spend time. Let me tell you how to spell the word love.

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t m e.

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That's how you spell

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the word time. The more you spend time with them. The more you love, the less you spend time with them, the less they receive from you.

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kids won't

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wake up late in the night and the father was coming late for work. So the father saw the kids you say somewhat while we're awake.

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I just woke her up to carry him took him to the his bed that he said that. He said what is it how much you make an hour?

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He said we asked him this question

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isn't

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cheap.

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50 bucks 50,000 just got sleep. It's too late the next day he saw him late that he said Dad I was waiting for you. He said what he's gonna give me $5 so why ask him this way you care about money too early on for that money. The kids after about three weeks. He came to his dad and he said that. He said what he said that's a 50 bucks right here on about an hour from you.

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I want to go

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from you. I just want to spend one hour with you.

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Asking you and I'm as guilty as so many of you

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how many times last week, you have an actual good quality time with your children.

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There is a study I'm not gonna bother with numbers of chairs, that the families that is spent

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five dinners every week with the children, five dinners every week, the children, their children are most likely to be successful, to be immune from drugs to be immune from failure to be given to the schools to have a brighter future.

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82% of this whole rj 82% of this. They admitted they had no relationship with father figure at home.

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About 85% and one higher percentage higher percentage

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of domestic violence case. It shows the most people who are involved in domestic violence. They have no father figure

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an abuser.

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You know what the last thing I want you to be, that man will walk into the mustard one day

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crying. So the mom told him

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he said My daughter is pregnant,

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out of wedlock

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have Xena.

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I don't know what to do with her.

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However 18 years old.

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But you know what, unfortunately, this is the first time to give focus attention to his girl.

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He kind of wanted to be in that position. I don't want any one of us to be in that position. When you find this, your kids are in drugs, your kids is completely lost and afraid that sometimes could be too late.

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As long as not worth

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that extra hours that you put in work, your kids don't want your extra money.

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Your kids will love it and prefer and they are better off with less amount of money that may amount of time that you spend with them.

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To protect our children, now Lost Planet Allah make us any righteous us and our children.

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About

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mother ancestors, my challenge to you this hope and this coming summer that you commit, commit to at least three dinners with your family every single week.

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You know what commit to something but some

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you know what, at least one week in vacation together, you do need to be rich to do that. Yeah, I think go to hotwire you might find $50

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Hotel, a three star whatever

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you can find

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any one of these websites, you do need to be

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over $200 to to stick together.

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If it's really a problem.

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If you're really willing to help, financially,

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money for my kids, just to come close to spend time together, you're gonna take them to walk and spend the day on which

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one to take them to make food and go to the coffee together. You didn't need to be rich to have a good time together with the family.

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So it was in response to

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the most important thing to be an effective father, figure in your home base to show your kids your love to their mothers

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has a very unique and very important. You know what, when you walk into the house, before you impress before you have your kids

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before you welcome your children working your husband.

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The first thing you do is basically build that strong relationship that model because the more the child sees that connection between parents that will settle the child will be the Model X he will or she will be the more secure that they will feel.

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And if you want not to take my word.

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We are

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a youth director who deals with youth all the time. Just go ask him about a Saturday.

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Tell him tell us the story that you hear from the kids that you dealt with, through the experience of your life. And you will see her stories.

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My brothers and sisters, it is very

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important for you to think about what I'm going to do in this summer, to invest more. I'm going to be a better father by being responsible for my kids, for their education for their will beings to a worker role model for them. I will act not just talk, I will show respect to the three that I will basically show better I will be spending time with them. Number four, be better husband, that's one of the best thing to do your kids Believe it or not. Number five, stop judging your kids. Don't feel that don't let them feel you judge them because they'll judge by everything around them. The judge

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The way you dress, the way we talk the way what kind of form they carry everything around us in the society judge us so make sure that you're not another element of judgment in their life. Except them and show them that you accept them and you trust them.

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And finally, to some fun activity together, planet together,

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especially you have plenty of time in Sharla and this summer, Melis pannacotta is coming as well. May Allah Subhana Allah.

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Allah Allah,

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Allah sallallahu wasallam rnap you know, Muhammad Ali, he

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may not

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fully about you know, as long as you know that, you know, to react in a problem as well you know, to react in a kurata you