Advice
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Channel: Waleed Basyouni
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AI Generated Summary ©
The speakers emphasize the importance of being a part of the journey and sharing blessings to boost chances of getting a job. They stress the importance of showing oneself sincerity and choosing the best way to say things. The speakers also advise on giving advice, cautioning against arguing, and emphasizing privacy in public speaking. The importance of directing people to the truth and not just giving advice, and the importance of letting people know their priorities and prioritizing their needs. The speakers also provide information on a program called Am amortizing themselves and emphasize the need for people to be clear about their intentions and goals.AI Generated Transcript ©
Ramadan 360 to you, and who we have
been graciously and generously supporting throughout the month.
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to life the hadith of the prophet sallallahu
alaihi wa sallam,
that is recorded
in Bukhari in Muslim, in which we learn
that there are 2 angels, Malakan, Yanzilani,
They come down every day. Every day that
a servant of Allah wakes up, there are
2 angels making dua. 1 of those angels
makes dua.
Oh Allah,
anyone who is spending, anyone who is giving,
anyone who is charitable and generous,
whoever's spending,
then
give them more. Replace for them.
Give them and the scholars they mentioned, this
could be in this dunya. They replace it.
You they he replaces it for you now.
It could be in the hereafter as well.
And then of course the other angel makes
the dua, May Allah protect us. Oh Allah,
the one who is stingy,
the one who's holding back, who's not donating,
may, may Allah bring destruction,
to their wealth, to their wealth. And the
scholars, they mentioned this could be, the removal
of barakah, the removal of blessing.
So they're keeping their money, they're not spending
it for the sake of Allah, and so
the barakah goes away or it could be
other forms of destruction. May Allah
protect us, but we are alhamdulillah a generous
community,
a blessed community, be the Nata'ala.
Let's go ahead and continue by sharing those
blessings inshallah
throughout the month of Ramadan and especially in
these critical last 10 nights, these critical last
10 nights. And may Allah
accept from each and every one of you,
for your generous support.
So let's take a look, hamdulillah, we have,
mashallah, good amount of folks, 200 people in
the zoom, many more on YouTube, it looks
like. So I am just overwhelmed by the
energy
and the amount of, dedication that our students
have. May Allah continue to bless you.
And I am so excited,
so honored to welcome
our beloved sheikh and teacher who I've benefited
through, so many years of my life and
and many generations of Amaqrid students have as
well. Sheikh Waleed, welcome
How are you doing?
Wonderful,
I'm so so excited to be a part
of the webinar earlier today, to be a
part of this session. Ramadan 360 has just
been a tremendous blessing for all of us.
How are you? Excellent.
Very
good.
Looking forward for your visit with Houston.
Yes. We're it's in the works inshallah.
They're coming soon.
Today,
today, I would like to speak to you
about something that it is it is one
of the fundamental
concept in Islam.
It is one of the most important,
concept in Islam
to the extent that Nabi salallahu alaihi wasallam
said that the whole deen, the whole religion
is is advising. The whole entire religion
is an advising.
Advising is something so critical and so important,
and and it's such an important element
in,
our life social life
and also one of the most important means
for success.
And it's such a big topic, and it
can be addressed in many different ways.
But if you look at the way of
Quran,
one of the most important to look at
when you study the life of the prophets
and the,
messengers in the Quran is to see their
qualities. And one of the standout qualities of
those prophets, the messengers,
that they give advice. That's their job is
to advise their people.
Allah
says about, for example,
I advise
you. He said about who?
I'm
a sincere
adviser.
I have advised you, but you don't like
those who advised,
he told his people.
Allah
said about Muhammad sallallahu
One of the qualities of this prophet
the he cares for you,
and he shows his care for us by
advising, by giving us. That's why Nabi
did not pass away, and he knows anything
that it will benefit the Ummah unless he
have salaam
delivered
and unless he have passed it on
to the extent
that when people accept Islam,
they used to give something called, a legion,
a commitment.
And part of what they commit to, as
said,
I give my to the my commitment to
the prophet
to do
to perform the salah and to give the
zakat 1
Muslim
and to advise every Muslim.
In the is something that it is something
was very common and practiced and and and
welcome
and something that is very
distinguished in the characteristic of the early generations.
And,
said,
when he commented in the verse
when Allah
says,
when you say to someone
became arrogant,
and it became, like, arrogant and and say,
who are you to advise you? Said,
it is when you advise your brother,
and he will tell you, oh, care for
yourself.
Someone like me, you should not
will not teach me.
Sometimes we do that even as parents. Are
you gonna teach me?
Are you young person gonna teach me? That's
It is the quality of the disbeliever and
the hypocrites that they don't like to be
advised.
And if somebody advise you and you feel
that you're not comfortable with and you feel
like, you know, you you hated it and
and you basically
I'm not talking about someone who advised you
in a wrong way. I'm talking about the
advice as a counsel. If someone doesn't like
to be advised and doesn't like to be
corrected,
The best advice you want to hear, be
yourself.
That's the best advice you want to hear.
That's that's that's a sign of hypocrisy. That's
the way of the arrogant,
disbeliever.
And,
you know, it's
interesting.
He is the process was done, and he
died.
And the young man came and to give
him salaam to wanna see him.
When he was leaving, Omar called him. He
said, come back, young man.
I noticed your throat, your your clothes dragging
on the on the ground. Make sure you
make your your your lower garment short, shorter
than your ankle.
Raise it above your ankle.
It is something that please your lord, and
it will keep your clothes clean.
He give that advice even in the last
minute of his life.
I'm better than Umar Mohammed sallallahu alaihi wasallam.
While
in Nabi sallallahu alaihi wasallam trying to catch
his lost breath
before he run out of breath,
he was saying to all of us, a
salah to salah.
Make sure that you do a salah. Make
sure that you take care of a salah.
Make sure that you establish a salah.
They give advice in regard to women to
treat them well,
the the servants, the slave.
Told us it is one of the rights
of your Muslim brother upon you.
The right of a Muslim upon other Muslim
that when you ask his advice, that he
advise you sincerely
or he advise you.
And then the said, when someone asks you
for advice, give the advice
to them.
Said, Muslim. 3 things
the Muslim's heart
should be always filled with sincerity in regard
these three things.
One of them,
that you give advice to the leaders.
This
and the the second one, to stick with
the you to be, you know, unified with
the Muslim.
Muslim. You don't break the the community.
And the third one is sincerity. What that
means?
It means it purify your heart.
And
those are pure heart. We're always scared for
these things.
I remember Sheikh Abu Bakr Al Jazayer, who's
an older scholars in,
in Medina.
Very yeah. He visited United States, I think,
in in 2000.
And I was yeah. And he blessed
to be in the company of of him
and other scholars as well. But from all
of them, he's maybe the oldest among all
the group
and the most senior.
And he's very, you know, known of his
sincerity. He's like, you know,
Anyway, Sheikh Mohammed, he teach he he'd been
teaching in the Masjid Al Haram in Nabi,
Masjid Medina
more than 40 years.
Okay? So, anyway,
he was about to depart to leave America
after his
visit.
Then he he asked me and other brothers.
He said,
I cannot leave
before I write a letter to the president.
At that time, the president was, if I'm
not mistaken, was Bill Clinton.
He want to write a letter to the
president of United States
as an advice.
He said, I am
a Muslim scholar who visited your country,
and I'm grateful and thankful for all the,
you know, the
the welcoming and the way we treated in
the airport.
And I wanna advise you, and he advised
him about Islam and told him about Islam
and how important Islam is for himself personally,
salvations, and for his people, and for
and he wrote beautiful letter to him. And
he said, I wanna send it to the
to the president.
And he said, maybe some other,
yeah, any,
young imams or will not, you know, feel
that for me as a senior scholar representing
Islam and Muslims,
I think it's an obligation of me to
give that advice to him.
I I I felt how sincere this per
He didn't show this up. He didn't write
it. He didn't, like, you know, put it
in social media. No.
And
is an art.
Advising is an art.
And I would like to break this topic
to different,
you know,
approach it from
multiple angle.
There are certain etiquette when it comes to
giving advice
from the perspective of the one who is
giving the advice
the advice.
Al Hassan al Hussein, it was reported that
once he passed by an older man
who make him a go, but he's not
doing properly.
So
they looked at each other, and they
said to this old man,
uncle,
I want you to watch my and to
watch his
and to tell us which one is
is closer to the sunnah or better.
Then they made in front of
him.
He got it.
Then he said, I I understood your point.
He said, you guys do it a little
perfect. I'm the one who don't know how
to make a.
I'm the one who making a mistake.
And this is was their way to advise
someone who's older than them.
Exactly. It's wisdom.
So
let's explore some of these ethics. Number 1,
anytime you wanna give advice to someone, make
sure that you are sincere.
Your point is not to show that you
know.
Your point is not to show that you
have higher top or higher knowledge, better, you
know, or to put somebody's down
or to belittling the person.
Okay? Make sure it's not about to
or about to be famous.
Like, unfortunately, today, people give advice
to, let's say,
powerful people, speak truth to power.
But they speak truth to power so they
can put it online.
So it became a trend.
So it has way more likes and share.
That's just not right.
That destroy the Nasih,
and Nasih has an act of worship. And
in order for this act of worship to
be accepted by Allah, it has to be
done sincerely.
Sometimes we advise our kids just to show
them, to humiliate them, or to advise someone.
You know? It just it's it's not about
the advice. It's about, like, it just
showing up and and and and boosting and
and
or sometimes it is meant to humiliate the
person,
to make fun of people,
to expose their mistakes.
It was narrated
in the in the hadith
that
More likely, it is taken from scholars, not
as authentic as hadith,
but
anybody who make fun of somebody's else mistakes,
who make fun of somebody else, send.
Making fun of it.
Happy for it. Oh, I got you,
You know?
Added you.
Will not die before he himself
fall in the same mistake.
He himself will do the same sin.
I know someone who used to tell me,
I used to make fun of all these
people.
He said,
When I was young, I always always make
fun of those
who married and they have, like, 5, 6
kids.
I said, 6 kids?
This is too many. Too much.
These guys don't know how to control themselves.
This is blah blah blah. So they used
to make fun of all those, especially certain
people from certain, like, Palestinians, Egyptians, whatever. And
he said, oh, and he always make fun
of them.
I'll never have that. I'll only have
and I laugh because I know that brother.
He has 10 kids.
Since
I I used to make fun of it,
but I I basically,
and I realized that was not right.
Number 2,
always choose
the best way of saying things.
So many times it's not about what you're
saying. It's about
how you're saying it,
What kind of words did you use?
Okay?
And Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala says
in regard to the believers,
guide them to say the
of the good
things,
to say the good and the right words.
You know? Allah says
say to people
what is nice.
Tell my servant
to say
the best
of words.
And said, Allah said
follow that by say, in the shaytan.
The shaytan
will cause animosity.
Scholar said, because if you say
a statement, shaitan maybe make it misunderstood.
If you say a statement is vague,
could mean good and bad, being sarcastic.
The shaypans bring you know, come to whisper
to the person, and they take it in
the most wrong way, and it became problem.
Allah did not say say what is good.
He said say the best
to close the door for the shaitan completely,
and this is in Surat Al
Isra.
Allah always elevate
Elevate the good words.
And
said,
good words
And said,
Al Mu'min is not a one who
the one who accuse.
The one who curse.
The one who use indecent language.
The one who use improper words.
Look.
Abbas once was asked.
Not Abbas. Sorry. Al Abbas, his his father.
Abbas Radiullah. Abbas is the process of an
uncle.
Akbar, it means
older,
but, also, it means,
greater.
So it's it's a tricky word. In this
context, it means
older, but also could
means I'm bigger
or greater.
You are the prophet.
He
said
greater than me, and I was born 2
years before him.
He didn't say
I'm
I'm bigger, better, or or, like, older. He
said
around fire.
Then he called them. He said he wanna
know who they are. He said, oh, people
of the light over there.
So the narrator said,
Umar Radi Allah said, oh, the people of
light. He didn't see the people of fire.
See how how even this, like, he chooses
word very carefully.
When someone said,
to him,
And the famous hadith he said when someone
said,
And it says,
no.
Why no?
You see what do you say? No.
Thank you.
You know, it it sounds like I'm saying
no thank you to you in Arabic or
even English. So it's no, full stop, thank
you or comma. Thank you.
In Arabic, we add the letter wow
to make that distinguish.
Even to be very careful about the words
that you you do.
You know, there is one of the judges.
He used to have a blind man come
to his gathering,
sit with him. And when this blind man
want to leave, he never tell people, hey.
Take his hand and,
to wherever he want. He said go with
him
as if you go as if he is
the one who leads. Even though he's a
blind, he needs someone to lead him.
He will not say, hey. Take him and
lead him. He said go with him
out of respect for him.
You know, this is an art how to
choose the right word. There is
one,
this in the old days, they have somebody
to call.
Someone like like he teach people proper manners.
So he was he has one of the
students of his so the emir, the the
prince or the governor, want to test
how good manners this tea this teachers teaches
students.
Then he said
to the students, he's a young kid, young
man.
Is it to him?
He'll look at this, and he'll show him
the ring,
the Khalifa's, the governor's ring,
the prince ring. And he said, have you
seen anything better than this ring?
Then he said, yes. The finger
that's in it.
Your finger.
And he was, like, shocked.
Then,
he was in in this, in the household
that
teachers. I think this was his son.
Then he said, which house is better?
The house of Amirul Munin
or your home?
Then he said, yeah, Amirul Munin.
When you are in our house, our house
is better.
When you are not in our house, your
house better.
Then he said, I don't think there is
anyone can teach people how to speak.
You know? We might say, like, he's just,
you know,
just giving any cheap talks, but, no, he
chooses word carefully.
And I'm saying this because sometimes,
people who have multi languages
can be caught in the middle.
Make sure that you know how to answer,
how to say things in the right way,
and don't rush because sometimes it's hard. Like,
some culture, it might be different when you
say no. Thank you. No. I don't want
this.
Some culture do not use to say no,
then follow that with thanks
or please.
It's a just different culture. But if you
speak in English, make sure that you learn.
So when you advise, when you talk, you
sound correct.
And I've seen people, especially sometimes when we
come into the media, talk to officials, elected
official, give dua to non Muslims,
to indigenous people. Make sure you know how
to speak in the right way. We must
know that some of us,
English is not their first language.
You need to know how to say it
in the nice way.
You know? I had my own struggle
with my,
staff.
You know? And we need to have with
that.
For example, one of the thing that is
interesting is to know how to make sorry.
Just give me one second.
I just don't want that.
The camera to turn off on me?
Yeah.
For example,
instead of making a direct questions, you can
make it an indirect question. Why don't you
do some more exercise versus
how about doing some more exercise?
Put yourself in the person's position.
If I were you, I would do more
exercise.
Make suggestion.
I'll suggest doing more exercise.
I recommend doing more exercise.
When you give advice, make sure that you
give advice with lead, with gentleness, not with
harshness.
And before I move from the words, words
one thing, but the tone, that's where the
harshness comes,
The body language.
So not only the word and the way
you phrase your talk, also the way you
say
it. It's so important.
Be gentle. You remember the story of the
man who came and he urinated in the
masjid and everybody came and and start attacking
him. And the said, just leave him.
So gentle
until he finished.
Then to to explain to him, this messiah,
we cannot do this in the Mas'id.
Then he said, I will lie. I never
seen any teacher like him.
He was so nice.
And same thing, Mu'adh ibn Hakam Sulani.
He was praying
behind the process. So one Muslim sneezed and
said, Alhamdulillah. So Mu'adh
So the people look at him, and then
he said, why are you telling me to
be quiet? He said.
I said.
Can you imagine?
So people get, like, upset. And after that,
they came left and right. And then the
said,
hold on. Bring him to
me. He said, He didn't use any bad
language. He didn't talk to me in bad
way. He didn't hit me or anything. He
just told me that the salah, you cannot
speak on it the way you talk outside
the salah.
And he was so happy. He said, oh,
Allah, have mercy on me and Mohammed and
none of these guys.
Yeah. He was so moved by how nice
to him, and he was angry at them.
Allah
said It is because the mercy of Allah
Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala, you became soft with them,
gentle with them.
Another etiquette of Nasihan
is
private.
I don't know where is private. People give
me on Twitter.
I'm for your brothers, and I put it
in Twitter or x
or Facebook or
Instagram. I kind of has that.
And it's not
it's
to an individual.
If you're not about a concept, yes, but
an individual,
you don't do that.
There's
no
advise me, advise me in per private, not
in public.
Private
is something will make me accept your advice.
Private. But in public, it's a form of
humiliation that I will not accept.
Mister Arben Kidam, one of the great scholar
of Hadid said, may Allah have mercy to
gifted me my mistakes
between me and them.
Because giving me my telling me my mistakes
in public in front of people,
it's a humiliation.
And I'm not talking about a concept, and
I'm not talking about someone who does something
wrong and you correct them in public. Like,
somebody drinking with the left hand, and you
said, hey. Don't drink with your left hand.
Listen. I'm
talking about advice. It's a concept that you
wanna advise them about. You should do this.
You should do that. You should not do
that. You should be good to your parents,
good to your children,
you know, with your Masjid, with the dua.
By the way, this is not the right
and this is not understanding of Islam. You
don't do that in public to humiliate the
person.
And
there's a difference between me, for example.
You know, talking to a governor or to
and I'm saying this because, unfortunately, we have
the etiquettes that it taken from the left
or the right, and we should take our
etiquettes from the sun of the prophet sallallahu
alaihi wa sallam.
Yes. Openly, you can object to the injustice
that happened and done by your government or
your, you know, your your governor or or,
elected officials or whatever.
Talk about the concept. But to talk to
the person in a personal level and to
give him an advice,
that should be in a private manner.
One of the etiquettes also for advice, when
you give someone advice, make this a reason
for you to stop be to practice what
you preach.
One of the thing also and and and
and important for you when you give an
advice, don't be angry
if somebody did not accept your advice.
It's an advice. It doesn't have to be.
It's not a it doesn't have to be
taken,
and that shows
a great deal of sincerity.
I'm telling you about myself.
I I can share you with you my
experience.
I'm the last sometimes. Sometimes I give good
advice. But you know what I noticed my
brother and sisters?
And, I can share this with you too.
Some people like my advice so much that
they frame it,
up on the wall
instead of following it.
So it became just a code. You know?
You know? We might give advice, but we
can't give conduct
as I think,
Abraham Lincoln, if I'm not mistaken, said once.
So
one of the thing also I wanna say,
when you give an advice, avoid arguing.
When you give advice, it's not about arguing
and debate. A debate is not an advice.
You know? Don't try to embarrass corner the
person.
How else do you make your point and
you move on?
Also, when you give advice,
make sure that you are
certain and and have correct information. And it
sometimes become accusation.
I wanna advise you about this and this
and this and the yeah. But, brother, I
didn't do that.
It didn't happen.
So make sure you you make sure it
is correct information first before you give the
advice. Allah says
Allah
says in. Especially with all these doubt.
Like, sometimes
make sure you know. Like, I give you
an example.
Recently,
I have
counter people
talk to one of the,
elected official, saying to you need to do
this. You need to do this. You do
you do this. You did that. Honey, it
it was so embarrassing for us as a
community.
When that election said, but I didn't do
that. That's not true.
You might read that in Facebook, but that's
not I never did that
when I was elected. Or another person, another
incident, he said, guys, you're asking me to
do something I don't have the power to
do. Like, it's not part of
my
juristics,
or, non part of my, YNE. I don't
have the tool. I don't have the ability
to do that.
Jurisdiction. Yeah.
So we make sure that you know what
you're asking before you ask the advice
to the person.
Also, like somebody said, Sheikh, I have an
advice for you. You do this. Yeah. Habib,
but this person you talk about, I is
not my friend. It's not someone close to
me. It's not my part of my community
even. So make sure you you you know
what you talk about before you give the
advice.
Also, remember what Luqman said to his son.
When you give an advice, expect
retaliation.
Expect that you might get attacked. Expect that
you might be even if it's not a
personal advice,
be patient with the reaction of people.
Be wise.
Wisdom is the key point.
Wisdom
can be manifested in the following point.
Right? Choose the right time.
Your husband just come back from the the
work. Your wife just came back. She just
wake up from sleep.
Somebody's sick.
It's not the right time to give advice.
Also, the right time, the right place.
We're about to leave. We're about to go.
We're about to is the right time, the
right place.
Also, make sure that you put your priorities.
That's wisdom.
I talk to this person about salah, or
I talk about, like, eating with the left
hand.
Sometimes left hand is is take priority. Sometimes
it's a lot of it depends on the,
priority of the time. But as a concept,
somebody who doesn't follow the sunnah at all,
somebody doesn't follow Islam, somebody who's doesn't pray,
these are more important. You know your priorities.
Also, part of wisdom is to know
the person that you are giving advice, their
age, their status. You can't speak to someone,
for example, who's,
the chief police of the of the, of
the city who has
general certain type of attitude,
thousands of people under his command. You don't
speak to him the same way you speak
to your son or to your brother or
someone who is, like, in the in your
peer.
You know?
Also, somebody in a time of calamity, you
don't give an advice.
Like, I give you an example. You know,
just
a disaster happened or a massacre happened,
then we start talking about advice about gun
control or about, you know, your people doing
all this aggression. That's why, you know, the
foreign policy of the country,
it's bad. That's that's not the time for
giving this advice. It's like someone
her her son died from drugs. Can you
imagine? And I'm going to give my conbalancing
to this mother. Her son just dying from
dark. And I said to her, I told
you drugs are bad.
Yeah. I didn't tell you. Your son should
not hang out of the room with the
bad crowd. That's what happened.
That's what drugs lead. That's not the right
time for it.
It's like for example, I'll give you another
example.
People kids come for Halloween.
Trick and treat. Trick or treat.
They come to your house for for treat.
And you give them lecture about Islam. Habibi,
these kids are coming for,
candy, not coming for your lecture about Islam.
That's just not the right time for it.
Part of wisdom
also
look at the
know what are the issues. Sometimes there is
a deeper issue.
Like, I was in the Masjid once, and
they asked me
about,
doing salat al janaza
on the people who die in Palestine.
And there is a big problem between the
community and the imam. They want salat al
janaza on them. The imam said, there is
if there is somebody who pray janazah on
them, there is no need to pray janazah
in here.
But I realized that the problem is not
the fiqh issue.
The wisdom was to give an advice is
I think the community feel that the imam
is not emotionally
invested in the crisis over there. So immediately
what I did, I start making dua to
the people who fell asleep. I made a
long dua call us. They don't care about
salat al janna. As long as you make
dua for them, that's all what we want.
So sometimes you have to be wise.
You know?
Also, men different than women. Young different than,
also which generation you're talking about.
You know, I remember somebody was talking to
a man, and he was telling him he
gave the hadith
when the man
gave me permission to do.
And he said, would you
accept this for your mother, for your? He
said, no. So he he is this with
someone who
is non Muslim or a convert. And he
said,
would you be okay if your mom,
date someone or sleep with someone automatic? He
said, yeah. That's up to him.
So the person was shocked by the answer.
He think that it has to be the
same answer of the prophet. No. People come
from a different culture. Yeah. She she wanna
say whatever she wants. That's her girl. So
you you need to know. Not because used
that
language or word, it it will fit every
culture. That's called wisdom.
Make sure that your will not cause a
greater harm.
A greater harm. It's Hamma.
Ibn Abbas was asked once, should I advise
everyone? He said no.
Allah said,
In
you give advice
when you see the reminder will be beneficial.
But if you know it's not gonna be
beneficial, it's not gonna benefit someone, you don't
give it. You don't give it. Said
sometimes
some people do this. Some peep he he
didn't mention them by name.
Sometimes you give someone a gift, a form
of books,
or maybe a a a website to check
it out, and and you make your point.
You know?
There are 2 things which is a man
should,
yeah, any
a 100% avoid.
Giving advice that he would not follow
and asking advice when he's determined to pursue
his own opinion.
Also, be patient. When you give advice, don't
expect instant.
Took years to change people.
Just be patient with them.
When Safwan said, yeah, Muhammad,
give me a month to think about your
religion.
Said 4 months.
Before
4 months finished, he came and he said,
Also, when you give advice, don't make it
too long.
Short advice, like even miss Oud, he used
to give advice not every day, every Thursday.
Some people
everyday advice, every time you see his kids
invite.
Also,
be honest.
When you give advice, you
know, in giving advice
in giving advice,
seek to help,
not to please.
And when you give advice, seek to help
the person, not to please the person.
Your true friend is the one who's honest
with you, not the one who just say,
oh, this is right. Everything is right.
So it is important to be honest when
you give the advice,
and Allah will ask you because it's a
it's a it's a it's a it's a
man. It's a trust.
Finally, Yani, just very quickly,
for the other one in the other end,
the one who receiving the advice,
You know, it takes a great man to
give sound
advice
tactfully.
But you know what?
A greater man
is the one who accepted graciously.
No doubt.
That's why you have to learn how to
accept it with graciousness, with with being, you
know, with open heart, with open mind.
So for Musa alaihi salaam, a man came
to him and he said,
they are plotting a ministry to kill you.
I'm advising you,
leave the town.
What Musa said, now I have the palace.
I have this. I have power. I'm a
you know? No.
Immediately
he
left.
You know,
there is a man, a Jewish person. His
name, Ibn
Satinab.
He read the Torah, and he saw in
the Torah all the descriptions of the upcoming
prophet, and every description fit the prophet.
He he witnessed that. Except one description, he
didn't see it yet,
which is
Every time you make him more you're supposed
to make him more angry, he became more
patient
and forbearing.
Then he said, I wanna test that. If
this is
in him, that means he is the prophet
and the messenger.
So he came to the prophet sallallahu alaihi
wasalam and said, yeah, Muhammad,
you have taken loan.
Give me back my money or give me
back what you have taken from me.
You have any Abdul Muttalib? You are guys
known for never pay back pay people back
on time
and was angry and raising his voice. Umar,
radiAllahu, an, he became so angry that you
can tell in his eyes
that there is fire in his eyes. Yeah.
And he almost wanna go and strike this
man, and he said,
let me,
you know, teach this man.
Yeah. Omar, come down. And Bibi Sam said,
come down. And the man kept saying insulting
thing to the. Omar kept angry at us.
And Bibi Sam said, get down.
Yeah. Omar, this is not how you should
act.
And maybe some smile, and he said, please
give him his money back and give him
more.
Then the man said,
Why? Because he found every time he tried
to make him more angry, maybe some became
more calm.
And he said to Omar, yeah, Omar, you
should ask me to pay my debt,
and you should ask him to ask nicely.
But don't be angry at him.
When somebody advise you, don't try to justify.
Don't be arrogant.
Don't don't insist on the wrong.
When somebody advise you,
you know,
be happy.
Be grateful that Allah sent someone to advise
you. You should you yourself go and ask
for advice. That's why
when you go to ask Nasihah.
That's why Umar Radhiallahu Anhu Wa'ala said, there
is no good in us if we don't
accept your advice
and no good in us if we don't
ask for your advice.
Sir Omar said both.
Said, I never advised someone, and he accepted
from me unless I respected him so much.
And he became a close friend of mine,
And no one ever rejected my advice unless
this person fall from my eyes.
Thank him or her when she advised you,
Even for your own kids. Many times, my
kids correct me,
and I say sorry, and I said thank
you.
Is the reward of good anything but good
Also,
Ibn Hazen mentioned this,
and it's very beautiful thing. Don't ever advise
someone who's advising you.
If it hasn't said that's a revenge, that's
not advice, that's bad intention. Yeah. And if
somebody giving you advice, and after eventually okay.
And I have one for you too.
You know, I wanted to also tell you
something.
No.
I remember I called somebody and give him
advice about something, and he said, and I
have an advice for you. I said, no.
I'm not gonna listen. He said, how come
you asked me to listen to me your
advice, but not now you don't wanna listen
to my advice? Because it's not advice.
It's a reaction.
You can call me
after this and say, Waleed, I have advice
for you. You will
I will hear you out.
But I'm giving you advice and you reply
by giving me advice back, that's a bad
manner.
Also,
listen.
Don't just hear the advice. Listen to the
advice.
Have a good intention. Maybe your if it's
not something in you, consider it a reminder.
Something in you, it's a correction.
Please, there is a difference between making fun
of people and advising people.
Please, there is different between advising people and
being nosy.
You don't know how many times I have
to give people their nose back because I
found it in my own business.
You know? There is a difference between the
2,
And intention play a great role in this
area.
And the sheikhan sometimes make us extreme in
one of the two areas.
Either we don't advise because it's personal
or we became too much involved in people's
private life.
Also,
there is a difference between giving advice and
judging people.
I advise you, but it I'm not being
judge judging you.
There is a difference between these 2.
The most effective Nasiha,
the most
the one that comes from a sincere heart
with a nice, gentle way.
Advice would be much
more effect
when it comes from someone that is trusted.
Before you start advising people, earn their trust,
earn their love.
You know? People
will not care about what you're telling them
until they know that you care about them.
People will not care about what you're telling
them and advising them about
until they know that you care about them.
Advise is such a beautiful things because it
give you a fresh perspective,
different perspective.
It add value to you. We should seek
advice.
Advice should be given to individual,
to organizations,
to institutes,
to government,
to elected officials.
We should be in the concept of advising.
Sometimes we just it became we became so
polarized politically that it's about, hey. I got
you. I just no. You you don't you
don't feel sincere. I think Muslim can play
that role of being sincere adviser,
giving advice based on ill knowledge and and
with sincerity.
And and I can share a lot of
success stories in regard to this.
When we give an advice to certain things
that we found a problem,
and I will end with this. In Texas,
we found, for example, that we have a
law.
You know, the law in Texas and many
other states, many other places,
do not differentiate between age group when it
comes to somebody get arrested or put in
handcuffs.
Do you know more than 18,000 kids were
put in handcuffs?
18 or 14,000 kids
in in a matter of a year
or 2 years, something like that.
You know how they handcuffs kids from their
elbows?
80% of them are mental health issues.
The officers do that because that's the law.
So group people came and talked to me,
talked to other leaders in our community, and
said, you know what? Why don't we advise
the government about this?
And we brought, you know, studies and and
we met with the police department, head of
the police, and this is we would love
this law to change. We don't wanna handcuff
kids.
We go to teachers. We go to parents.
We go to many educators,
psychologists,
and we build a coalition
led by Muslim.
And we give an advice to the elected
official.
And you know what?
It became the state of Texas law now
that anyone who under the age of 10
years old will not be put in handcuffs
unless in a very extreme
circumstance.
And a part part is in passion.
And it was said in that time this
is the first time we see these people
from cross style coming together.
It was initiated as a Nasih, as an
advice, and it took, you know, its process.
And I know so many stories like this.
I'm just giving you in a in a
level of of of, government and also in
a level of personal.
Sometimes we forget that
we need to give advice
even to the people who are bad. Allah
said give advice to
Speak to them in a nice way.
You know, unfortunately, today with social media, we
became so aggressive.
I used to say when before
the name was changed, I used to say,
tweet people the way you like to be
tweeted.
You know?
I guess, x people would like to be
x today.
I don't know how to say that. You
know? But, you know, you need the the
cancel culture, yes, the the the the aggressiveness,
the accusation.
You know, Dawood al Bahri was debating someone
once,
and this man said to Dawud Abayiri,
I became.
Dawud Abayiri said, are you saying that I
became?
You're happy that I became Kaafir?
What is this?
May
Allah, you know,
make us always sincere and,
know how to give advice. One of the
best way to do that, to read in
the of the
is the scholars,
be around and and people experience,
and hopefully,
we can grow, but
advise
advise. It is an essential thing, and it
has to be revival between us that we
advise one another. We write letters to another,
private message to each others. When you hear
something wrong, you correct me. You tell me.
You know? Just let's make sure that we
care about each other's
success and growth.
Tweet people the way you'll be tweeted, x
people the way you want to be xed.
I love it. I love it. I love
it. Mhmm. I'm just that. Zacom Le Heshev,
we really appreciate your time today and your
your your advice about advice, was so meaningful,
and we saw a lot of great notes
and gems were being captured. Due to the
time folks, if you have questions,
what I'm gonna ask you to do, we're
not gonna do questions now,
but we do have, Sheikh Khourid with us
tomorrow for Fad tonight. Right? So if you
what you can do is go into the
portal, click on the hand,
and we have, alhamdulillah,
some room for additional questions there. See, I
I did notice a lot of the questions
you all asked, the sheikh answered in his
subsequent statement. So if you were paying attention
insha'Allah, you got a lot of your answers
already. But if you have more pressing questions
about Nasihah
or any other, fatawa around Ramadan or any
of the other topics covered within,
Ramadan 360,
just go to the form inshallah ta'ala and
Would it be help you with us. Would
would it be okay if I give a
small? Of course. Of course. For everybody in
this call, maybe somebody hear me. My advice
to
you before I go,
make sure you donate to Al Mabrah.
It is from a sincere heart to you
because it is one of the that
Allah
will put barakah for you. I I advise
for you and advise for my son on
my
Assalamu alaikum.
Thank you so much, Shailood, once again. And
for everyone, yes, you can donate at, almaghrib
dotorgforward/donate.
The campaign is still live. You could automate
your donations for the last 10 nights. And
we ask to
accept our sadaqa and to accept the time
that we spend learning his deen, allahu maha'amin.
Brothers and sisters, time is super precious today.
We have about 15 and a half minutes
for some reflections with our Usteda Taimi Azubir.
So I went out of the spotlight here.
I was so tired and
just listening to Sheikh Hadeed. I don't know
where that hour flew by. SubhanAllah.
I I enjoyed every
minute of it.
Absolutely. Although we we would love to benefit
from your reflections. Alright.
Let's begin.
So just very quickly, I wanna go over,
the meaning of nasliha,
just a few things, and then InshaAllah, we'll,
take reflections.
So the word Nasliha
is from the word Nasaha,
which is,
used to describe the act of
of Claire of clarifying or purifying honey.
Okay.
So Nasr
is clarified
honey.
Because when you first extract honey,
you know, there's
bits and pieces of, like,
all sorts of things. So,
to clarify, Honey is nalsir.
So nalsir is when something is pure,
and this is why the word nalsliha
is to give it means to give sincere
advice, meaning you have no
ulterior motives. You have no other,
you know,
intentions.
Your, your, your pure intention over here is
to
wish
the best for the other person.
You want
to direct them
to what is best for them. Okay? So
we see, for example, in the Quran Nuh
said,
This is Suratul Arav, verse number 62,
that I convey the messages of my Lord
to you, and I give you sincere advice,
meaning I'm telling you to do what is
best for you.
Then the word naseeha
also means
to be sincere
and faithful
in one's conduct
with someone.
So it's not just to give sincere advice,
but it is also
to to act faithfully with someone,
meaning you are sincere
with them.
And this is why we have in the
hadith, you know, the prophet
said that adinu an nasihah. The religion is,
sincerity.
It is.
So the people asked to who, and the
prophet
said to Allah. Now do you you don't
give sincere advice to Allah. No.
What what it means is that you are
faithful and honest and sincere in your conduct
with Allah,
that you worship only him and that you
are not hypocritical.
Right, that you are truthful
to Allah,
also to his book, to the Quran, and
also to his messenger, sallallahu alaihi wasallam, and
that and that you are sincere to all
all the Muslims
and also also the leaders.
Right?
So,
we have this,
meaning in the Quran also in Surat Al
Qasas
where when Musa alaihis salam as a baby,
when he ended up in the house of
Firaun.
And, you know, they were struggling to find
someone to nurse baby,
to to nurse baby Musa.
You know, the his sister was there,
and she came to the rescue, and she
said that.
I'll tell you about
a family who will take care of him,
and they will be
very sincere
to him, meaning in their conduct. They will
be very honest and faithful to him. They
will take care of him,
you know, the way that they take care
of their own children.
So,
so this is basically what Nasirha is, to
give sincere advice
and also to be faithful and sincere in
one's conduct with someone, to not act,
behave
hypocritically
with them.
And the 2 are linked together because when
you're giving
advice to someone,
right, your focus over there is not to
and as as we learned from the excellent,
you know,
instructions that Sheikh Khalid shared with us or
the etiquette of,
Naseeha,
your goal over there is not to glorify
yourself.
Right? It is that you want the best
for the other person.
Right? And when your focus is the other
person's welfare,
right, then you don't your focus is not
about how you feel.
It's it's them.
Right? So for example, when when there's a
child
who's throwing a tantrum, who who who's throwing
a a temperate
tantrum.
Right?
If you focus on yourself about how you
feel,
then you're gonna think like, this is so
offensive. I'm losing my mind over here. This
is, you know, impossible
to, to manage. But when your focus is
is on the child,
right, then you focus on what they need
to hear from you. They need you to
be calm,
not to blow up, Right. They, they need
you to have composure
to, to protect them.
Not that you start yelling at them. Right?
So the word nazliha
occurs,
about 13 times in the Quran in different
forms.
And we see basically that in the Quran,
the word naseerha is mentioned
within,
within the context of,
the stories of the prophets.
And the prophets of Allah
were all sincere
to their people. If you look at Surat
Al Arof,
the stories of many prophets are mentioned,
and they they said to their people
that that I give you sincere advice.
I am sincere to you.
So,
all of the prophets of Allah, they were
sincere to their people.
They gave sincere advice, and we see this
not just in the prophets of Allah, but
also
in in the stories of other people
who invited people to the worship of Allah
alone. Like, for example, in Surat Yacine, the
man who came and,
you know, defended the prophets
and called people to the worship of Allah.
He was he was very sincere to his
people. I wanted to reflect over the verses,
but Insha'Allah,
another time.
Just 33
more things.
When when we are,
giving advice to people
or or or to have sincerity for people,
right, means
that you direct them to that which is
best for them.
We you you know, if you if you
were asked, do you care about people? You
would say, yes. I do. Right? You have
empathy. You want the best for other people,
and that's great.
But what does that mean? Does that mean
that you want them just to be happy?
You want them to feel safe. You want
them to have access to clean water?
What is it that you want for people?
We see that the prophets of Allah,
they cared about people, and you know what
they wanted for them? They wanted to save
them
from the punishment of Allah in the hereafter.
And this is why they guided people to
that which is best for people, and that
is.
That is the oneness of Allah.
And for that,
and and in order to guide people to
the truth, they did not water down the
truth.
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala tells his messenger
that Oh messenger of Allah, convey
whatever
has been sent down to you from your
Lord.
Meaning don't conceal the truth. Don't water it
down.
You you have to tell the truth to
people if you really care about them.
Right?
And
the second thing is that the prophets of
Allah
did not set their gaze on what people
could give them.
No. They all said
I do not ask you for any
reward. I do not ask you for any
money.
My reward is only
from Allah.
So when you want the best
for people, that means you guide them to
that which is best for them and that
you don't expect anything from them.
And then the third thing I wanted to
mention is that not all people
like sincere advisers.
Right? So you could come to people with
a lot of sincerity.
You're very faithful and honest, but they don't
like it. In Surat Al Araf, ayah 79,
we learned that.
You do not like those who give sincere
advice.
And one more thing,
not all people who claim to be sincere
are actually sincere.
Be careful
because in the Quran, we see
in Surat Al Arab that shaitan said to
Adam
that I am very sincere to you. Take
my advice.
So when somebody is giving you advice,
don't just accept it. Right? You have to
see what, what is it that you are
being advised about?
Right? Like, for example, if someone you as
as a as a Muslim hijab wearing woman,
you go for your haircut and they say,
you know, I'm I'm telling you,
your your hair needs some sunlight.
And all you know, when you wear hijab
all the time, it's really
damaging your hair.
Right? And I have all this experience, and
I'm telling you,
I want the best for you. It's up
to you. No. Just because someone is saying
that they want the best for you doesn't
mean that they're giving you the best advice.
Alright? So be careful. Shaytan also said that
I am very sincere to you. And the
brothers of Yusuf alaihis salam also said to
their father, wa inna lahu lanal syhoon. We
are very sincere to him. Please send him
with us. Were they actually sincere to him?
No. They weren't.
So be careful.
Alright. Let's,
hear from you.
We have about 5 minutes.
So okay. Bismillah.
S. Go ahead.
I have a close family
member who moved to the area that I
live in, and she's completely new to the
environment.
And I've been giving her advice since she
came about, like, the people, the norms, and
the culture. And I realized, like, she didn't
take a lot of my advice. So in
the beginning, I was, like, very hurt and
because I was just looking out for her
and her safety.
But as time went on, I realized that
she she's not required to take my advice,
and she's not
like I can't push my advice onto her.
I can do the best to advise her
and the best to help her out and
help her adapt and navigate the situation she's
in,
but she doesn't owe anything to me. And
the thing you said about, like, some people
don't like some of your sincere advice, so
sometimes you just have to be patient for
them because it's not the right time to
give them that advice. Because I realized she's
learning on her own bit by bit.
So I still give her sincere advice to
help her, but I don't have that intention
of like, oh, I hope she takes it
right away. Because I realize that she is
learning on her own, and I can still
help her, but I shouldn't expect anything out
of her. Mhmm. Good.
Alright.
Sister,
go ahead.
When I reflect on the prize advise,
the intention should be there. It is to
help,
and it has to be sincere coming from
the heart.
We have to check ourselves that, why are
we why are we advising that person?
For what reason? Is it to show that
I have the knowledge or
or or what really to help the person?
And as well, where
not in front of everybody,
and,
when to when to say it and what
how to say it as well. And and
I think advice doesn't have to be by
words. It can be by actions as well,
by our own action.
Yep. And that's it.
I think one thing that I took from,
Sheikh Khalid's session is that you cannot be
impulsive when you're giving advice. You have to
think through, and it's okay to take your
time.
It's okay to let your,
you know, mind gain some clarity,
and then you think through, and then you
give sincere advice.
Our next person? Good.
Am
I am I audible? So, a quick
reflections, you know. So
I believe sometimes we kind of tend to
overlook ourselves when giving advice.
It is like we kind of get to
learn something and we are quickly reminded of
somebody in our family members. It is like,
oh my god. I know this is for
my brothers or my sisters or my mom
or in laws and so on. So I
think it's important to remember that the first
audience for our advice should be ourselves. It
is like speaking in front of Demeter
with our fellow, you know, Muslims and believers.
It is like they are the reflection, and
I'm talking to first and foremost,
you know, to myself, like, as a reminder.
So when I say, you know, pray 5
times a day, I'm
the believer is a mirror to his fellow
believer. So I think we can find that
connection here.
This is very important that sometimes we're just
focused on advising other people and we don't
worry you know, we we don't think about
ourselves.
Sometimes when we're learning something as well, the
the only intention or goal over there is,
oh, I'm gonna pass this on. I'm gonna
teach someone this. No. This is for me.
So don't
forget about yourself
in caring about others. You know, when you're
on the plane, they say first put the
mask on yourself
and then help the child next to you.
Alright. I think that's it.
Yep. I think that's it.
Indeed it is. Indeed it is. How quickly
the time goes when, we're in the midst
of some some very wonderful reflections.
Sadatemia, thank you so much for, sharing with
us
and, for helping us to better understand
this, a beautiful, amazing concept of naseaha. May
Allah bless you and bless
brings us to the end. Some of you
have been on the marathon session with us,
masha'Allah, since 1 PM EST. It's now 6:15
PM
Eastern time. So just a few,
a few thank yous. Once again, thank you
to our charity partners, HHRD.
Here in the US, we have Islamic Relief
in Canada and we have forgotten women in
the UK.
Thank you for those partners who allow us
to continue to present,
Ramadan 360
to the world. Please support them at the
links that we drop in the chat. Also,
don't forget,
Amalgib's giving campaign for the, Amalgib,
classes and webinars and sessions and everything that
comes along with that is still ongoing at
amogadib.org
forward slash donate.
We do have tomorrow a bit of an
early start if you were to join us
for Fatwa night is tomorrow
at 4 PM Eastern Time with Sheikwudi Basuni.
Go ahead and ask your questions in the
portal. If you haven't already, we'll try to
get those covered for you tomorrow. And then
we'll have our 5 pm session inshallah
regularly scheduled programming for Ramadan 360.
That will be with Shil Ahmed Salim talking
about hushua, submissive
humility. So that should be a really special
session as well. The Kahoot is also tomorrow,
guys. Kahoot is also tomorrow, so
bring your game faces. I know it gets
competitive. I know it's really fun.
Be invested. Review your notes, review the Padlet,
all that information that you've been sharing and
documenting the past week's information.
Be ready to to participate in that as
well.
And finally, for our UK folks, I know
there are a few of you here. I
saw, sister Rosala,
other other folks from the UK. Remember your
time change. Right? So tonight there's a time
change. You're going to the British summertime,
which means that the session will be 1
hour later
for those of us who are based in
the UK. But please don't let that be
a barrier to joining us inshallah ta'ala. With
that, I'm your brother and your host, Abdulrahman
Wood. Thank you so much for spending some
of your time with us today. May Allah
bless you. May Allah bless your families and
bless what's remaining in the month of Ramadan.
alaikum
alaikum