Girls are driving me Crazy #01 session #01 – Love & Desires

Wael Ibrahim


Channel: Wael Ibrahim

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Salam alaykum. warahmatullahi wabarakatuh Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah salam wa sallam, my brothers and sisters in Islam everyone who's watching Welcome to this new course titled, girls are driving me crazy. We welcome you we are live on my page where Ebrahim on Facebook May Allah subhanaw taala bless everyone who is involved in this. in putting this course together in sha Allah tala, I will be in sha Allah talking to you right there in this camera in front of me and I will be managing the comments, your questions and engagement and the interaction session from the laptop next to me here in chat lol Tyler. So feel free to start asking questions as soon as we delve

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into our course in Sharla. So let me just walk you through quickly about what's going to happen in the coming few sessions that we will discuss this important continent in sha Allah tala, we will divided into four sessions, but I assume that the first session will be divided into two, the first session always the foundational one, and it's a bit

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long than then the other three sessions. So, perhaps, the first session will be divided into two in sha Allah to Allah. And we will be discussing the topics of desire the topic of love, relationship, love and relationship, we will talk about gender and what we are expecting in gender and sha Allah and then we will be giving a general advice, but let me see first, who is online and who's not and let me greet you all, inshallah to Allah Miller, let me see who's online.

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And I have my dear brother here who is taking care of the whole thing, I will not mention his name, because he's fussy about it, but I want him to come and check the computer because the life is not moving. So the video is not moving, I think we need to

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see if that can be fixed in Charlottetown. So I'll push the computer back to my dear brother, and I will get back to the course in Charlottetown. So

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first and foremost, it's very, very important to clarify something that came up as soon as we announced about the course especially the title, girls are driving me crazy. And many sisters in particular, they contacted me they say what do you mean by this? Do you mean that actually we are to be blamed for the sins of the boys and so on and so forth. And of course, this is not the intention whatsoever.

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This is the most common term I have heard from boys who come along, asking for help in terms of their sexual desire, haraam relationship pornography, addiction and so on. So, they will say that girls are driving us crazy we cannot actually resist we cannot control ourselves because how they dress up and so on and so forth. So they are trying to blame you for their mistakes, they are trying to justify their own sense using you know, all these lame excuse and so I took that as the title of the course to actually defend you sisters to defend you to to assure you that it is not your problem. So inshallah Allah we have sister Hannah, from the Philippines Mashallah Thank you, Sister

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for coming and joining us and whoever is online now in July, I urge you all to start sharing the video to the post or the broadcast so that we can benefit as many people as possible in short, a lot of time this will start changing whoever is online in sha Allah. And in any case in any way, the video will remain online inshallah, after we finish the live broadcast, and inshallah it would be also uploaded on our YouTube channel, break the cycle, break the cycle, so from now inshallah remember this title, or that name, break the cycle. This is our YouTube channel that we have started before Ramadan. If you have followed the series, the 31 episodes that were posted day by day during

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the month of Ramadan, about how to break free from bad habits, addictions, especially pornography, you would have known this channel by by then, and please subscribe to it, share it with others so that we can share the benefits with you as well. So I will be refreshing from time to time so I can read your comments answer your questions in sha Allah. But for now, let's get started. Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim. Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa salatu salam ala rasulillah salam ala. So the first session inshallah we'll be talking we will be talking about desires and how people could control certain desires especially I'm referring here to the sexual desires, the sexual urges

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Towards the opposite gender, many people would come and they would say that we cannot we will control ourselves for a week to three and after that we wouldn't be able to do so, or to continue or to be consistent with, with our, you know, promises and so on. So how can we do that in sha Allah we're going to discuss this in great length in sha Allah, I have observed, unfortunately, that there are many, many people in our community in the Muslim community. Their lives revolved around four things and this is something that we we have to talk about it otherwise we won't be able to find solution to it. Their lives revolved around pornography, masturbation, haraam relationship, unlawful

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relationship, secretive sins, these four things, they always go there life is revolving around that. And in the middle, in the middle of all these crisis, you find them going to the masjid praying the five daily prayers reading or and some of them are memorizing Quran. Some of them are hijabi some of them are Nickleby. And here's the shock, some of them are leading the Salah in the masjid, some of them are getting the hook body the ascend the pulpit, one of the sacred spots to deliver the message of Allah subhanaw taala some of them are also having this issue of haram relationship desires for the opposite gender and so on. And by the way, although the title suggests that addressing only the

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boys This is actually applicable for both males and females, there are some boys who are you know, who cannot who cannot control the desires when it comes to the opposite gender to the sisters, and also some sisters they have the same issue so it's not a gender centered course it's for both genders so I want you to really pay

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extra attention and I want you to reflect with me here in sha Allah in the comments I'm reading your comments in sha Allah tala

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Mim comms, thank you for coming and please, as I mentioned earlier, if you could start sharing the video so that we can reach out to as many people as possible to share the benefits with others that would be great in short, long time.

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we will be talking now about some practical tips on how to control our desires. And this is this is what Allah subhanaw taala had promised and His Messenger the Prophet Muhammad Salah cylinder, as as long as you follow the path of Allah, the Quran, and the path of His Messenger, the sooner the teaching of the Prophet Muhammad SAW Salah you will never go astray. Do you believe that or not? Talk to fecal matter intima sector v. Len total body added ebitdar keytab What Kitab Allah He was humility. I have left with you. That's that's the prophet SAW Selim talking now to you. I have left with you. And these were like his last will. Few days before his demise. The prophet SAW Selim is

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telling us telling the companions and everyone who says La ilaha illAllah Muhammad Rasul Allah, I have left with you two things, if you hold fast onto them, if you grab them with all your mind and follow them. Follow them to the letter. You will never go astray after me. You will never go astray. Do you believe the prophet SAW Selim? What are these two things simple, the Quran and the Sunnah.

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I always tell my brothers and sisters who are addicted to certain behaviors that if you just get back to the Quran and the Sunnah, nothing will ever go wrong. But the problem is some people they will go to the Quran and the Sunnah for a month and then when they find that there is nothing happened, no changes then they give up the or on the eve of the summoner because they wanted this quick fixes. They want things to happen so quickly. No, no, no. One of my machetes By the way, I just remembered. He told me that if you wanted to, to remain firm to remain steadfast give yourself at least a year.

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A year in what in Mujahedin, what is Mujahideen comes from Jihad means to struggle to strive to be patient while praying at night while reading the Quran while memorizing the Quran while you know, making da even the Doha sometimes the people will will taste the sweetness of Doha and they will shed tears a day or two to three, but consistency is not in place. So what we need to do inshallah, from the start is as soon as you start to develop a new healthy habit in Nevada, in your relationship in your connection with Allah Subhana Allah stick to it and maintain it for a long period of time inshallah, you will not witness the fruits right away. It will take time.

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We have martial law we have people watching from India Kashmir masala Baraka, la Zamboanga de la Hydra, may Allah bless you help us sharing the information that we are providing inshallah so that we can, you know, gain

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The benefits with everyone in Charlottetown around the world just like on Long Island. So, what is the first thing that we need to do in sha Allah to Allah so that we can battle our desires these desires that lead us to haram activities, how can we do that? So, the first point inshallah and we will spend quite lengthy time with the first point as I said the first point or the normally the introductory session is a foundational So, it will take longer time than usual after that things will fall into the right place inshallah. So, the first thing that you need to do my brothers and sisters and I want you to comment here so that I can see your interaction with me and Shalane your

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opinion about this particular point, you will have to strengthen your connection with a loss of Hannah, you will have to maintain that special link between you and Allah. Why because you will slip along the journey of, of maintaining your connection with a Lost Planet Allah something will happen Allah will test you, you will be tempted.

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And in that, in that very moment, Allah subhanaw taala will intervene but you have to maintain that connection with Allah. Look at the story of use of holly Salaam, Allah subhanaw taala told us in the Quran, Lola and raw Buddha Buddha, Hannah, Rob, Robbie, had he not seen an evidence from his Lord? Had he not see Have you not seen an ayah from Allah subhanaw taala the

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use of ally Sam and the wife of Al Aziz we're about to commit alpha hash our liability we're about to commit Zina. While on Hamlet be wahama. She came on to him and he too came on to her some some of the scholars of course, they mentioned that he didn't come on tour physically or he he was not about to commit that when I added below but the thought entered in and and the thought is the beginning of anything, right you start thinking that that's the intention and as a result, you you confirm or you deny or you stay away, Lola and Rob will handle it APNIC Athena, may Allah, Allah have mercy on him, he said that he might have seen an assigned from Allah subhanaw taala that repelled his thought

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repelled that thought that crossed his mind about committing something shameful, what he had seen, we don't know exactly, but because he maintained that link with a las panatela that special connection with Allah subhanaw taala Allah intervened and Allah saved him from this fascia from this sin. What did he do? So here is the surah the beautiful surah of use of Alayhi Salaam, Allah subhanaw taala told us that when in brothel Aziz, when the wife of Al Aziz tried to seduce him for Star Samia and she said, you know, as recorded in the end, wallet under our de who are Neff sihi, for style, some that I have seduced him I have actually came unto him. The Orion told us that she

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told him Hey Tilak I am all yours come to me. I'm all yours. four stars on then he firmly refused even the Arabic word when you read it four star some is very difficult on the tongue, indicating that he was resisting with all his power and all his mind. How did he develop that will? Because he had maintained that special connection with Allah subhanaw taala through what through Do you know that in this surah Allah subhanaw taala is telling us what the use of Allah is lm actually supplicate with to save himself through Of course Allah Subhana Allah has guidance from that shameful act. He said color of besieging a hub boo la Ameen made on any LA or Allah prison is much

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more dear to me than what they are inviting me too. And by the way, his reputation was you know, he was very popular. Not only morality is not only the wife of Al Aziz wanted him know the entire women of the city. All the women in the city they heard how handsome he was use of La salon. That's why when, when the wife of Al Aziz invited those ladies in her house, and she asked us have to appear to come just pass by.

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This is upon the law. This is not a human being this is an angel. That's how handsome Yusuf Alayhi Salam was yet he did not use this as a tool while I add the biller to to commit shameful activities of that source Xin our adebola. But he prayed to Allah Allah, the prison is dear to me, dear to me, then what they are inviting me to and what what is prison? What is that jail? prison is something that will will limit your freedom.

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So the prison of our time today is perhaps

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Perhaps you know not not accessing internet frequently that could be your prison

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you know stay away from the internet if that was if that is your problem if that is the tool that leads you to haram activities stay away limit your freedom This is the prison of our time will lie is to stay away from the internet. I was talking to one of the machines in one of the conferences online he made very beautiful remark. He said we have three hands now the left and the right and the cell phone we have three hands we cannot we cannot live without the cell phone Can you imagine? So we need to be really smart and we need to deduce these beautiful lessons from the core and from the stories of the Prophet so that we can inshallah

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gain that power of Allah guidance that's power if Allah guided you you are powerful that's what happened to us Valley Salah they are alone behind closed doors. She put guards outside the room no one goes out no one goes in no one comes out. Or did they say no no one goes out no one comes in so Pamela she guarded you know that the the room she made sure that the Xena will happen she made sure yet Yusuf Ali Salaam ran to the opposite direction. How did he get that power? Because he maintained that beautiful link with Allah Subhana Allah through through Doha, cholera besieging Habu la Madani LA, we're in toss refine Nikita hoonah look at the words beautiful and if you do not avert you know

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me from their plan, if you do not protect me from their plan, us we lay him, I may incline towards them, I may fall into this error. So he's begging Allah, Allah, you know, the destiny of this path. You know what this path will lead me to? So help me, Allahu Akbar, US Bula him will accompany Elijah hidden and I will be among those who are ignorant. Once you fall into Zina, you are not only ignorant, you may fall into the category of this believers when I add the villa. May Allah subhanaw taala protect us and our children, our spouses and our family members and everyone who's listening I mean, the prophet muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said lay as many zanni Hina as new who are

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mortman a person who commits Zina at the moment of Zina he is not a Mormon he is not a believer anymore. Jani May Allah subhanaw taala lie This is one of the skerries Hadith that the prophet SAW Selim narrated or totus, can you imagine at the moment of Xena we are not believers out there Believe me Allah Subhana Allah protect us and everyone else I mean, so

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this topic seems very helpful hamdulillah May Allah subhanaw taala assist all of us thank you midol for this

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desert la hyaluron watching from Mecca you make dua for us masala

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Amina she said that I think part of the difficulty is trust we say we trust Allah subhanaw taala but many of us have trust issues due to trauma

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Yes, I agree with you it's it's trauma experience etc. Yes, I agree with you that not the norm many people who fall into these

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you know, problems in and shameful activities.

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You know, the norm is not trauma, the norm is not bad experience, the norm is just surrendering to you know, these desires and there are solutions to them. inshallah, we will tackle that. Later on martial law. There are many people from Saudi Arabia from India from the Philippines, jack Lau Hydra unkindly those who are listening to us those who are live with us kindly start sharing we have from Jeddah Masha Allah kindly start sharing the post so that it can reach to as many people as possible and May Allah subhanaw taala accept from one and all but look at Yusuf Ali Salaam, two things I want you to write them down in sha Allah and by the way, I forgot to mention that

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these notes inshallah this my handwritten notes in sha Allah, they already been scanned, I scanned them all and by the end of the course I will be sharing them in sha Allah my written

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my my handwritten notes inshallah that entire course you will receive it all it will be uploaded on the pages in chat a lot

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of handling the most expensive thing in this world is trust it can it take years to earn and this is in relation to husbands who unfortunately they resort to pornography and they leave their wives in their bedrooms and sometimes the wives will find out about the activities and the trust will be broken and it will take as as roofied dimension

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It will sometimes it takes years to rebuild or re establish the trust. But something has been broken already. So don't don't give yourself a chance to destroy the most beautiful sacred relationship Allah has given us and told us and that is marriage. Don't Don't give yourself even a chance. Don't let your daughter's find out about your shameful activities. Don't let your wife You know, sleep at night, while her eye her her eyes may be sleeping but her heart is awake worry about you worried that perhaps you would you know, divorce her maybe she would think that you hate her now and that's why you're watching these films. So May Allah Subhana Allah protect us. Once again. Yusuf Ali Salam

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did two things.

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And these two things is a result of one thing that we mentioned earlier and that is a very special connection with Allah, Lola and raw muhannad. Remember this, the four and chapter number 12 verse number 24 of chapter number, Chapter use of surah Yusuf Ali Salaam, Allah Subhana Allah is telling us here that use of Allah Islam he had seen an ayah aside from Allah that made him stay away from Xena. What is that link? What did you used to do the scholars reflected and they came up with these two things, the powerful will, the powerful will and the sincere. The wording of the die is beautiful. It's not like you're a law please protect me No, no, he's he's begging Allah subhanaw

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number one, he said y'all law, you know, that the prison is dear to my heart than what they are inviting me to, but I'm about to do that. So if you do not protect me, I will fall into this error and I will be among the ignorant. You look at the wordings of the DA if you wanted to meet Allah forgive me Allah you know you're asking big asking, asking asking for something to happen to you. Asking a lot to give you something that's that's how we understood that. But the prophets of Allah they have these beautiful words that we should learn from them. Look us why Sam is talking to Allah if he's talking to his friend, you know, why can't we make a die in that fashion? Yeah, Allah. I

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have got no one to talk to now. Many people will come to me and they say we are ashamed to tell you about our addiction. You are the first one we talk to about your addiction. Talk to Allah first before coming to me man. One line talk to a lot like how you talk to me. Talk to a lot a lot a lot. I've got nowhere to go now. All roads have been blocked except your way. So save me from my trouble. This is how you pour your heart into your heart and voila, you Allahu Allah you'd see wonders as we saw here. First the Java horrible ally immediately responded in the next year. When he made this daughter in law Stefan Nikita Han asked him if you do not avert you know me from their plan or avoid

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the plans for me, how I would be inclined to them and be among the ignorant denix irfs jhabvala who robbed of law immediately he's Lord immediately responded to him.

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I mean, this is this is amazing.

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We need we need to learn how to make my brothers and sisters we need to you know, spend quality time begging Allah subhanaw taala in our life, let me read your comments in sha Allah, Allah if you have any questions, by the way, even if we are not able to answer everything in today's session, I will be going through the comments later on shala because the video will remain online and I will write down the most important questions and then perhaps if the brother will allow me inshallah, who I asked a lot of me Allah bless him, maybe we can make a whole session just answering the questions show. So, feel free to

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to write down your questions, type them down in Charlottetown type four stages for developing haraam relationship, four stages and this is deduced from Surah Yusuf Ali Sena and I, we took these four points from you know, reflection from Surah use of four stages in most cases, this is how you develop haraam relationship.

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What are the two? Number one are you writing Are you writing inshallah notes because don't rely that I will send you my notes, I want you also to write down because the more you write, the more you store, the more you write, the more you re retain the knowledge you know, you will be able to inshallah, talk from memory in the future if you write down the knowledge. Yeah, and let the our lemma bill column Allah is the one who told the use of the pen. Yes, Allah mentioned the pen in the Quran to indicate that it is really essential to write the knowledge down otherwise it would be forgotten. Right?

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We have people from our martial law, so many people from the Philippines from Jeddah, again a lot bless you or May Allah accept your effort and sacrifice I mean, I mean I mean time for things or four steps or four stages that can

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lead to harm relationship number one attention seeking what are the two you see a las pantallas telling us about this wife of Al Aziz that she was trying to seduce him, she will dress the best you know, in the best way possible. She will come from his right from his left from his front she will she will make him busy with her with how she looked with how she walked with how she talked. And by the way, the same thing apply to men, men who go to the gym and after a few weeks they feel like now they are you know, muscle or they wanted to show off their muscles they will wear body fit immediately and they go and they will try to show their you know, I'm the man Yeah, be careful those

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those attention seekers, they can mislead each other and at the end spatola guys we are talking about gentlemen, we are talking about Hellfire Yanni either this or that there is no in between will lie there is no in between after death. After we buried after this life is over. There are two things two roads, two paths, gentlemen, or Hellfire are liable. Jenna is for talking. Jenna is prepared for those who fear Allah who are conscious of Him who will always resist the Haram because they know that Allah is over watching them. That's not what that's talking Hellfire prepared for who?

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For those who love barbecue for example, Hellfire is prepared for those for the disobedient people for those who knew what is hilarious Harmon he insisted on the hat off so be careful. This is not a joke. So attention seekers those who draw people's attention towards them so that they can start building up a relationship so this is the first day or hour that

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she seduced him. She made him busy she tried to make him busy. Be careful. So that's number one. Number two, a lady who a fee by Tia where was Yusuf Ali Salam he was in the house of this lady

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and what did she do she took him into a room and then she want to lock it up and then she closed the door free mixing

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free mix that's that's by our by our language and it doesn't didn't mention that word in the parameter and let the who or feed it and she was in his he was in her house behind closed doors free mixing in uni and university campuses in you know you you you take the car and you ask someone to come in with your car to drop that person off you know these these are free mixing you start you start you know staying together for a long time talking unnecessarily about things that you know you would never even talk about to your parents to your mom or your dad free mixing haleiwa Be careful this the second step and f c e are so she she tried to get into his soul into his heart through what

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sweet talk so the third the third stage that can develop haram relationship is what sweet talks even if you don't mean it even if you don't mean it Be careful sometimes

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you know even brothers and sisters attending in a classroom Islamic classroom a course like this but in life you know on site and he started coming day after day day after day day after day start building that bond you know so i Come sister so I can brother How are you? How's everything good hamdulillah and then all of a sudden that sister one day they didn't show up? You will worry You didn't even listen to the shape the shape was talking about Jen about hell and you are in your mind where did where my sister go me why why she didn't show up today? What happened? I must find out so you go to on Facebook and you search her name. You see sweet talk and then she come the next day. I

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was worried about you.

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Are you alright? Are you okay? You don't know the magic? I'm sorry for using the word magic but this can have an impact like magic on the heart of the listener. Be careful what am I even you know that I love you for the sake of Allah the words I love you for the sake of Allah as part of the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad Salah. I can tell my brother every day I love you for the sake of Allah and he will tell me as the professor Santos me the one whom you love me for his sake love you also head buka Villa hogback Olivia, Tennessee This is the Sunnah. Now imagine if I'm telling the sister I love your sister for the sake of Allah. Allah La Casa the word I love you she will hear only the

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word I love you. She will not hear anything after that. Be careful, don't don't use you know the

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words in a way that can actually mislead you and mislead the sister.

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sweet talk avoid them avoid them if she's not your wife if she's not your sister go on tell your wife sweet words. Well, I I receive calls from wives every now and then complaining about the gap between themselves and their husbands, their husbands will come on and they will sit all day all night on their cell phones. They can tell millions of words millions of comments on their cell phones and, and their social media but when it comes to their own wives, they leave them alone. So panela this is something we need to be very very concerned about. I am boiling my brother's eye and I hope you can forgive me for the

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for the passion that I have for this topic and for the problems that we have. And we tend to sweep them under the carpet nobody's talking about them. That's why I wanted to bring them to the public to the public these these sensitive topics May Allah forgive us all.

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A very good reminders and hamdulillah May Allah subhanaw taala accept who the Prophet of Allah does not make mistake.

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Who the Prophet of Allah does not make mistakes.

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Yeah, and if you could rephrase the question would be better because I didn't understand it. Love for a while Ibrahim does Aquila from Pakistan, may Allah bless you brother Waqar male all of you to

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all the questions alone will not entertain questions today but just post them post them and post your insights I want to hear your insights your comments so that I could learn as well. So we said three stages so far. Number one attention seekers, those who want to you know, grab your attention this is this leads to haram relationship. Number two, free mixing unnecessary free mixing leads to harm relationship number three sweet talks again unnecessary sweet talks. How are you? Where have you been? I was worried about you I missed you yesterday all these words if you don't mean them, just you know shut you even if you mean them, there is a proper channel her parents go to our

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parents and tell them you know, I love her I wanted to marry her if you are a real man, but you know, making the sister busy and making the brother busy it's through these sweet word words can lead to harm activities. And number four of course is the action now, while a lot of wear the clothes they shut the doors has finished

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the action now. So, you you started with a look you know and then you started talking you start sitting freely you start exchanging sweet words and then at the end you will not be able to resist tritons temptation the action or call the title it very straightforward now she said come on man we are alone. Hi Teluk I'm all yours Be careful again I wanted to remind my sisters and my brothers that this is not the course is not targeting sisters is not targeting brothers the course targeting both genders just it happens in the story that I've selected is about a woman who's seducing a man and that's in the case of profits use of but by the way, this could happen also or it may have

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the other way around the opposite side.

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Just talking low high enough for your comments I want to see more comments inshallah I promise you I will go through them because we will meet next week inshallah like today thursday 7pm Perth time Malaysia time Philippines time, Hong Kong time in sha Allah. These are the countries that I know of that they have the same timezone. That's why I'm saying them 7pm in sha Allah next week, Thursday to continue together in sha Allah, so be reminded and share the video with others. Now, there are many people one of the most commonly asked question to me, how can we lower our gaze?

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I mean, did you did you hear the question brother? How do we lower our gaze?

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I don't know what to say. But I will tell you if you want to lower your gaze simply lower them lower them just put them away divert your gaze elsewhere when you are busy when you are bothered with an image that you know it will take you and it will escalate the the desire into something else divert your gaze. So here's four things again four things my shape one of my Michelle has told me to do whenever you look at something that bothered you or that makes you feel like you know sexually tensed, like you feel like you want it to look more you want to have more you want to go on the computer now browse internet, you know, this is something very, very risky because the Prophet

00:34:55--> 00:34:59

Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam told us that the gaze that the stare isn't

00:35:00--> 00:35:47

Arrow from the arrows off shikon an arrow goes straight you know and destroy quickly in a matter of few seconds that look can destroy you can take you to Xena Allah, Allah will be careful very quick. So that one of my shapes and you will find one or two of the points silly, but online if you practice them, they will not be silly, they will be very, very integral part of your life and you will be happy to practice them because they will, they will prevent you from falling into xinerama number one quickly look into your plan. So when you look at something wrong, immediately pull your phone your cell phones if you have the Quran online, I remembered the masala Mufti mink, he was

00:35:47--> 00:35:50

recommending that application called noctem.

00:35:51--> 00:36:33

It's a it's an amazing application, I have it on my phone, beautiful application, you download that application, it's run. And then you once you run it, every time you close your phone, and you want to open it again. And I will pop up before using the phone before doing anything in the phone once you open the phone, and it will pop up. So you read the air. And then you start using your phone you call somebody you browse your social media, whatever and then you close the phone and put it aside. Five minutes later you come and pick up the phone and open it once you open it. The next air will pop up on the screen, immediately. Get that app downloaded every time you hold your phone, you will

00:36:33--> 00:36:57

be amazed to see that you are reading at least every minute every five minutes for those who use the phone quickly. Every five minutes one hour live beautiful. And then use your Facebook no problem. I will not say it's haram unless you're doing something haram on it. But it's amazing. So this is the first step once you look at something haram that bothers you immediately look into your core. And

00:36:58--> 00:37:00

if you don't want to use the phone,

00:37:01--> 00:37:39

bring that small copy in the Quran and put it in your pocket on your purse. Once you look at something haram immediately open the Quran. This is something amazing. Secondly, look at the sky. And this is the point that I said when when my chef was telling me I say come on man. What will I do in the sky he said look at the sky. Reflect on the creation of Allah and see how small you are compared to the magnificent creation. And while you're looking at the sky, raise your hand and make a dot make a dot like the use of a center. So look at the Quran, look at the sky reflect and make the number three remember gender. Remember now the things that have been prepared in general so

00:37:39--> 00:38:21

gender itself has been has been prepared for those who have Taqwa as we said earlier, but in general there are a lot of things being prepared for the Muslims for the moments for those who follow through you know while they were alive in this dunya gender is amazing sort of flicked on gender the beautiful creation that a lot prepared for those who wish to marry but they cannot they cannot find the means to marry here there are hold their brothers there or hold their sisters. So remember gentlemen Be patient for a little while so that he can get the best well I learned that lesson from my my son example is again silly. But you know if you reflect he's smart, you know my son when he's

00:38:21--> 00:38:22


00:38:23--> 00:39:04

he start thinking of a particular type of food you know and I think that's all of us like once you're hungry immediately the first thing that comes to mind how I wish to eat you know, bug on like, you know, the Filipinos dried fish or something like you You really desire. So my son will will will think but perhaps that particular meal cannot be prepared now or the restaurants a bit far while we are traveling on the road. So I will tell him Can we stop by this fast food restaurant we can grab you something and said How long will it take us to go to my restaurant that restaurant that I wanted to eat that says you take about 30 to 40 minutes will you be able to wait to say yes

00:39:05--> 00:39:31

look at that lesson the lesson is I could wait a bit longer so that I can get what I really want. I want her to be honest with you you want her to because the description of this hole is amazing. Is something like beyond our imagination is something from Jenna hemella I know rod in general that which no I've ever seen no no ears have ever heard and never cross human imagination.

00:39:34--> 00:39:35


00:39:36--> 00:39:54

The apps name is not him, not him. The problem is that nothing is written in Arabic so I'm not sure if you can grab it but inshallah Allah what we can do. We will post a link to the app on this discussion. Thread in sha Allah tala

00:39:55--> 00:39:59

so that you can download the app and it works with Android. It works

00:40:00--> 00:40:09

with Apple as well, we have to wait until Shea watch the comments. Yes, thank you. Nothing nothing but it's it's written in Arabic.

00:40:10--> 00:40:33

Answer please ding what the brother? Well, is that apps? What is the name of the app? All right already I said then the name of the app is not him may know what is the app that move to make already I said, muscle everybody about the app now. All right, let's hold it. We will post a link to the app inshallah brother is working on it. And let's continue what else you can do

00:40:34--> 00:40:40

to help yourself, lower your gaze number four is run to the graveyard.

00:40:41--> 00:41:24

Run to the graveyard, my brothers and sisters and imagine the first night you're placed in that little hole in the ground. Just Just imagine that. Now some sisters say can we go to the graveyard? Yes, you can. You The only thing that the scholar said that he cannot do is following the janazah until the graveyard that's the only thing that you know, it's not for you, sister, Gianni, it's not recommended for you. But if you want to go visit the graveyard for your own reminder to take lessons the Prophet Muhammad wa sallam in a general sense, he said that earlier I used to forbid you from going to the graveyard but now I'm telling you to go there so that you can remember and remember

00:41:24--> 00:41:27

your your your you know, your real life, the real life. And

00:41:28--> 00:41:40

so the app handle has been the link to the app has been already posted. And that is I guess that's Android users. So I think there is also a link for

00:41:42--> 00:42:22

for the Apple users inshallah working on it. So four things if you want to help yourself to lower your gaze number one, when any thoughts enters in when you see something that bother you look into your plan. How dare you look at something haram when you have the words of ALLAH is in your hand. Number two, look at the sky reflect over the Dominion the creation of Allah and make a little do I ask Allah to protect you? Number three, remember genda and what has been prepared for you if you remain patient, for the sake of Allah subhanaw taala remember the rewards in general number four, four, run to the graveyard. And you know, take a lesson and look and remember the first night that

00:42:22--> 00:42:30

you will spend in that and how Allah subhanaw taala is going to deal with you. If you are disobedient and how will he reward you if you were a

00:42:31--> 00:42:36

an obedient servant of Allah subhanaw taala jack ma hydraway yakko Thank you.

00:42:37--> 00:43:22

Is there any comment or any reflections over what we have said so far we have covered so far and I will just quickly recap what I've said. We said that many people their lives are evolving. Their life is revolving around four things we say pornography masturbation, haram relationship and secretive sins with all sorts secretive sins can be husbands cheating on their wives wives are busy online talking too hard on men and so on and so forth. And we say that we have to control our desires so that we can enjoy a lot either attend the pleasure of Allah because there are many people in the middle of all these crises and all the sins they are also still doing the Hillel things like

00:43:22--> 00:43:47

the poor and that is citation. They have the memorization the leading this law and law but yet they are jailed, within this cell of addiction of you know desire. So we said in order for you to break free and control your desires you have to number one and this is only number one so far is to maintain a good connection with Allah good link with Allah subhanaw taala

00:43:49--> 00:44:32

and as a result Allah subhanaw taala will provide you that will that power to remain firm and refuse any hold on thing and we said that you have to maintain that through do I like similar to the law of use of color of besieging la Madani la Oh la prison is more dear to me than what they are inviting me to that film that Xena that haraam thing, prison is much better. We said, stay away from internet is much better. If that's the tool that will lead you to dinner, stay away from it. It will limit your freedom for a while. But it's much better it should be more beloved to your heart than Xena or anything that has anything to do is in our edible. So this is what we said and then we said that

00:44:32--> 00:45:00

there are four stages that can lead you to Xena or can lead you to haraam relationship. Number one attention seekers stay away from the sisters if you have got nothing to do or no business with her sister, stay away from the brothers. If you have got nothing to do or no business to do with him stay away just maintain a distance unless there is utmost need of communication number two

00:45:00--> 00:45:43

Free mixing unnecessary gathering that will never benefit you. Number three sweet talks even if you don't mean to have a relationship with that person, avoid any sweet talk so long as this person is not your husband, not your you know, loved ones and four avoid any action touching, hugging, kissing, all these things lead to harm relationship as well. And we said how to lower our gaze we said read the Quran instead of immediately look at the Quran when you look at something haram immediately look at the sky and make a desire to Allah subhanaw taala to protect you number three remember the rewards are waiting for you in general if you are an obedient servant, and run to the

00:45:43--> 00:45:49

graveyard to take some lessons in Charlottetown so I hope and I pray that we have covered

00:45:52--> 00:46:05

very essential content so far. Now I want to wait for you for your reflection muscle I can see that we have two links being posted about nothing and that is the the app that we were talking about.

00:46:08--> 00:46:50

There is a link that is not being opened and inshallah we can run a search quickly on the on the name of the app and you will be able to show on maybe you're in an area where the link itself is blocked. But let's let's get your insights What do you think about what we have said so far? Do you think that really These steps are essential or practical can help the youth can help the couples the married couple to cope with these difficulties can help really suppress some of the desires that can lead to haram activities. What do you think I need to hear you inshallah so I'm, I'm not going further unless you post some comments, some insight so we can learn from one another inshallah.

00:46:50--> 00:46:50


00:46:59--> 00:47:04

walaikum salam Latif, Allah, thank you for coming and May Allah bless you

00:47:05--> 00:47:06

can will say

00:47:09--> 00:47:24

I hope inshallah The link will work. It's working on Android phones, Zamir it's working also on iPhones. My wife is using the iPhone, it's there as well, although it works in a different way, but it's working

00:47:25--> 00:47:50

on iPhones as well. Any any comments on what we have discussed so far about how to control your desire, how to lower your gaze, the lesson of use of Elisa Lam and his daughter the beautiful God the two things that use of did that as a result of his link with a las panatela he said that he refused firmly and number two, he made beautiful begging illustrata to protect him

00:47:53--> 00:48:09

rajamma Laos she said the four steps mentioned are very true the four steps you you're referring to the four stages of developing haraam relationship yet we are bringing things from reality from real life situations. So I agree with you they are very true.

00:48:10--> 00:48:11

Any other insights please?

00:48:26--> 00:48:30

I'm just trying to refresh so I can see if I missed any of the comments inshallah.

00:48:31--> 00:48:33

But keep coming with your comments.

00:48:36--> 00:48:36


00:48:38--> 00:48:39

Yeah, now I realize you

00:48:44--> 00:49:30

can we control such things with our diet and regular exercise, Mohammed Osman, you see a lost fat Allah built in as these natural desire and our desire for our wives for our husbands and so on and so forth. But these desires sometimes if you do not protect your eyes if you do not protect your Eman your heart and so on, then what happens these these desires will be utilized in the wrong way. Right. So whether you eat the right food or you go to the gym, if you do not protect the spiritual part of your soul of your being, then you will fall into error as well you may go to exercise in the gym and then also stare at the girls around you right so be careful it's it's a it's a tool that can

00:49:30--> 00:49:39

help you exercise eating the right food it can help. The Prophet Muhammad SAW Santa For example, when he advised the young people to to marry he said

00:49:40--> 00:49:59

Yama*a Shabaab or young people, whoever amongst you is, is able to get married, let him get married. right because it protects you. It protects your gaze and protect your private parts. But he said But whosoever is not able to, for whatever reason, then let him fast.

00:50:00--> 00:50:15

Fasting why because fasting curves the desire especially the sexual desire the sexual part so diet fasting some people now are you know even non Muslims the goal and fasting for for health benefits and sometimes they will also

00:50:17--> 00:50:40

indicate that actually when we knew we stay away from certain types of food like garlic like onion and so on It helps curbs the sexual desire. So that could be a means or a secondary helpful tool for you exercise and the right food. But the main thing is your eyes Your heart Your Eman. If they are weak, no matter what you did, you will fall into temptation.

00:50:42--> 00:50:45

Please tell some shoe in Pakistan to do so.

00:50:48--> 00:51:32

You are from Pakistan, why don't you go into the shoe there and why you want me to fight the Messiah masala? No, everyone has his own way of delivering the message. So may Allah have mercy on all our machines everywhere. I urge every speaker and every chef and every scholar to look into the topic and to address the people of course, but everyone has his own way so we complement each other and handler from Pakistan you're listening to me when I go to the Pakistan I will sit with some Machina we'll learn from them so Alhamdulillah we complement each other I just came now would you please mention the four steps No No, I will not repeat again the four steps you need to rush because we

00:51:32--> 00:52:19

will close actually in 10 minutes. But inshallah tada The video is there I hope that you can go back to the video and I hope and again and again and I brother if you could post a link to our YouTube channel, break the cycle so we will we will inshallah upload this video later on maybe in a day or two on our YouTube channel break the cycle. I hope whoever is online to kindly go on that YouTube channel and click subscribe and share it with others so that we can ensure a lot to Allah be able to build a library on this YouTube channel just for this topic. Just for all the the the problems that our youngsters are facing our married couples are facing regarding addiction to pornography,

00:52:19--> 00:52:28

addiction to sexual immorality and so on. We will build a huge library in sha Allah. May Allah subhanaw taala allow us to do that.

00:52:29--> 00:52:35

So kindly subscribe to the page and you will get in sha Allah to Allah the link in a minute.

00:52:36--> 00:52:44

seeking attention free mixing sweet talks and actual act. Thank you for demo ridhima

00:52:45--> 00:53:02

rajim I hope I'm pronouncing your name correctly. Thank you for recapping the four points, Sir, your book name my book name. I didn't mention anything about my book in this session, but it's called beated 50 plus shades of hope. Right now let's get to one segment.

00:53:04--> 00:53:27

One point in sha Allah, Allah Allah and then we will introduce upon a lot I still have a lot to cover in session number one, but we will postpone that till next week in sha Allah tala, the segment that I wanted to discuss is cold horombo phobia, homophobia, and I hope that we can hashtag this to each other. Let's talk about homophobia.

00:53:33--> 00:53:51

homophobia, that's the hashtag inshallah who you use sometimes to just tell the people that we're Muslims and we have something called you know, the Quran which and in the Quran, we have things that are permissible for us to do and in the end we have

00:53:52--> 00:54:31

something that a lot of things that are prohibited not not right for you to do, like eating pork so some people will come and say why why a law prohibited eating pork I don't have any clue. I believe in a lot I trust him he said this is haram I don't care about the reason that's that's my ultimate reason why I don't eat pork because Allah said so. Later also panel other Christian missionaries are calling the world so panelo to abstain from eating pork now they are discovering the harmful effects of eating such thing. So homophobia there are Muslims in around the world who as soon as you tell them this is haram they don't want to listen to you anymore.

00:54:32--> 00:54:48

Finished they say this Jeff is so strict. Everything I tell him is this Hello? Hello. Hello. Alright, what did you ask the CEO about? I asked him secret his secret Hello? Hello Mr. Han? says What do you want to share to tell you it's a shared secret it is not harmless. mcru

00:54:49--> 00:54:59

What does macro means? He doesn't know. Much he knows a macro a macro is less haraam Ian is not so haraam, but it's a little bit less than heroin. So it's okay to do it.

00:55:00--> 00:55:12

llama crew means hated, hateful, hateful act in the sight of who? Allah subhanaw taala so why would you do that? Which is hateful in the sight of Allah subhanaw taala. So we need to really be very careful.

00:55:13--> 00:55:49

Are you a Muslim? Yes. What does Islam means Islam means to submit your will, your very will to the will of Allah subhanaw taala that's what it means to be a Muslim. If Allah said something is haram, you'd have to accept that like what like free mixing, you have to know the free mixing is how long? Well what does it mean to say free mixing, meaning that you will be the both genders they will sit together, they will sit together, engaging in a conversation that is unnecessary, unnecessary conversation, a conversation that may lead to

00:55:50--> 00:56:33

haram activities. Simple as that. Yeah. And Allah subhanaw taala says in the Quran, Allah that He then dig in when you get married the Prophet Allah subhanaw taala is telling us when you get married, don't marry to those people who have taken secret lovers in the lives. And almost Fatah said again to the men about the men when I'm with them, yani for the men who have secret lovers and for the woman who have secret lovers or Lost Planet Allah is telling us that this should not be your, your, your standard. Be careful. So this is number one. And if Allah subhanaw taala made such a relationship, how long will he allow you to love each other and exchange these lustful words

00:56:33--> 00:57:01

without being married? If Allah subhanaw taala forbid, having secret relationship, you know, talking over the internet chatting late at night, well while your parents are asleep or chatting with a girl while your wife is asleep, and so on, if Allah subhanaw taala prohibited such a relationship will he allow you to exchange even love words while he had to be loved lustful words with someone who is not your spouse?

00:57:03--> 00:57:45

So this is how long you have to know this. If you're not happy with the word Hold on, this is up to you this is your issue with how you go and and you know, fix your Eman. What else is haram? lustful look when you look at someone and enjoy looking at someone whether you're a man looking at a woman or a woman looking at a man and you enjoy the look that's how long you cannot say brother but the professor sanlam said the first look is okay so you you're going to stay for the rest of your life without blinking Is that what you is that what the professor Solomon yeah look so long as you don't blink? How long? No, you looked and something passed by someone past by wearing inappropriate

00:57:45--> 00:58:22

clothes or wearing even appropriate clothes but in a inappropriate thought interred in you should divert your gaze immediately. That's what the prophet SAW Selim Yani, Julian Abdullah, one of the companions of the Prophet Muhammad wa sallam, he asked about the southern Look, the southern look and I'm walking and all of a sudden I looked, I saw something wrong. He asked the prophet SAW Selim what what should I do that in that situation? He said for Amani, an assertive novelry. He commanded me to divert my gaze, look elsewhere.

00:58:23--> 00:58:42

So when you look at someone and you enjoy the look, it's wrong. You don't like the word haram? It's up to you like the Don't tell me you know to be patient. You remember we said this. Don't tell me to be patient. People will come explaining you know the problems that they are going through but they don't want to hear the words that are necessary.

00:58:43--> 00:58:48

The word Haram is necessary when it comes to lustful look so pantalon

00:58:50--> 00:59:24

even a loss of palate Allah told the Prophet plus or Solomon operand to tell Abu Bakr Siddiq and Omar top that when they, when they talk to the wives of the Prophet SAW Selim to talk to them behind a veil behind a barrier that's to the best of the best abubaker so they can all we never think evil about the wives of the Prophet SAW send them yet the command goes to them. Because you know what my brothers and sisters in STEM, no one should be 100% sure that he will not fall into an error.

00:59:25--> 00:59:44

While I have my students at school, sometimes they'll tell me what if I will drink alcohol but I will never get drunk. What if I will be in a room with a girl alone but I will never I know myself. You know, have you heard those people? These are I know myself. I would never do this stuff alone. Everybody will commit Zina except me.

00:59:45--> 00:59:49

Come on. Ibrahim Isilon. Look at this. Ibrahim alayhi salam.

00:59:51--> 00:59:52

He made it you see

00:59:55--> 00:59:59

the dog, Robbie Joel handle Bella the Amina

01:00:00--> 01:00:29

What do you do? Do you have any an anomalous law or law make this city a secure place, a place of safety and prevent me and my children from worshipping idols? Who's making the DA Ibrahim Isola? Who is Ibrahim The one who broke the idols. The one who broke you remember the story of a Brian he broke the entire islands because he didn't believe in them. Yet after that years after that, he's making a lot Don't let me fall into worshipping idols

01:00:31--> 01:01:15

because we cannot have a guarantee that we will die upon the true path. So what we need we need to big a law to cause us to die upon the true path. You are not smart enough to do it on your own. Yeah, so be careful, lustful look. Even if you are 100% sure that you will not do anything merci sir, the priest, the man who was known for his worship, he was 100% sure that he would never commit Zina with this girl. You remember the story of that versus or that the the the priest, the three brothers entrusted him with his with their own sister at the end what happened? Because of the footstep footsteps of the shaitan. He fell into Xena. He killed her he and he prostrated to shaitan

01:01:15--> 01:01:56

before his death, and he was a great worshipper. So if a law prohibited you from looking at each other unnecessarily, will he allow you to look lustfully? Ask yourself these questions. Number three, the touch is also hard on shaking hands, is he wrong? That's what the prophet SAW Selim said. Jani. The Prophet Muhammad SAW Selim said it is better for you to be struck with an iron axe on your head, than touching a woman who is not helpful to you meaning a woman who is not your wife, not you, or and the opposite. Order is true. It is it is better for you to be hit by an X in your head, then touching a man who's not your husband. Can you imagine the sort of the law or the law or law she

01:01:56--> 01:02:08

said level like the Hadith starts like that, no, by Allah. No, by Allah. The hand of the Prophet Muhammad SAW Salah never touched any woman other than his wives.

01:02:10--> 01:02:51

So if you do not like to hear the words wrong, this is your problem. You have to you have to familiarize yourself with her arm now because once a learned scholar tells you it's Haram, once a las panatela tell you it's Haram. Once the Messenger of Allah subhanaw taala tells you it's Haram. It's your job to abstain from that harm. And you need to really respect that because if you don't, that means it's going to be very, very difficult for you to cope with your desires. My brothers and sisters we run out of times upon a lot and I don't want to bombard you with so many content at first. I think I will stop here in sha Allah and this is only number one. Remember this all what we

01:02:51--> 01:03:09

discussed today is point number one on how to control and how to battle our desires that might lead us to something shameful and hora de Xochimilco high known for being so nice and so cooperative and insightful in Charlotte Allah

01:03:10--> 01:03:44

I wish that whoever even will come after that and watch the recording. If you want to leave any comment or any question inshallah drop it here, so that we can shala collect them and perhaps after the course we can gather all the questions and answer them in a session on its own jack long height and I will stop here. May Allah bless you, Zack long hydron if I made any mistake, that's because I'm a human being and shaitan is dead. We don't have any more Ramadan spawn Allah May Allah subhanaw taala prolong our lives until we reach the next Ramadan i mean

01:03:46--> 01:04:01

but if I said anything that was beneficial, that was useful. This is from Allah subhanaw taala and he stole fear does Aquila Haydn's panic alarm overhang, digna shadow and Layla Hill and Mr. Furukawa tulelake salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.