Changing Bad Habits

share this pageShare Page
Umm Jamaal ud-Din

Channel: Umm Jamaal ud-Din

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


00:00:00--> 00:00:50

In Al Hamdulillah Neff murder when a stain on a Sofia Horner to relay whenever the belaire human sruti and fusino men say as Dr. Melina may yes de la hufa La Bella. Woman you, fella hurry Allah wash hadwen La ilaha illAllah who was the hula Shadi Kayla was shadow and Mohammed Abu Saud, Allahu alayhi wa sallam all praises for law, we praise Him, we thank Him, we asked him for his help, and we asked him for his forgiveness. We seek refuge with Allah from the era of evil by ourselves and the aim of our actions. Whoever is guided by law, then no one can misguide them, and whoever is misguided then no one can guide them except for Allahu taala. I bear witness if there is no god

00:00:50--> 00:01:03

worthy of worship except Allah. And I bear witness that Mohammed and Allahu alayhi wa sallam is his final messenger and my bad. First of all, my dearest sisters as salaam wa Alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

00:01:06--> 00:01:19

It's always a pleasure to see your beautiful faces and hamdulillah I ask Allah Subhana Allah to fill your hearts and your homes with Sakina and you know, the hug and you know, the hook for a loss of pantalla the love for loss of Pandava inshallah.

00:01:20--> 00:01:52

Okay, so the topic I've chosen to speak about today is about how we can reform our nets, how we can reform our l naps and how we can overcome bad habits in sha Allah, because you know, where it's upon a lot, before we know it, we're going to be in Ramadan. So this is the best time, you know, the traveler starts out early, don't wait to the last minute, start out early on your journey. So that's why I'll try to, you know, talk about some of the topics that, you know, can help us. So first of all,

00:01:54--> 00:02:30

this is actually a very important topic to speak about, because no matter who we are, we all have our own bad habits, doesn't matter who you are, every single one of us has, you know, some bad habits that we wish we can change about our thoughts. And you know, whether it's related to our athletic, you know, our manners, we wish we could, you know, improve with certain things we do, you know, the way we speak, whether it's got to do with the way we procrastinate with our time, whether it's got to do with, you know, not doing enough for the hero, not enough to strive for the era,

00:02:31--> 00:03:07

or when it's got to do with, you know, things related to sins, you know, that we fall into certain types of sins, or disobedience of a loss of pantalla. So, we have to realize, first of all, that no one is perfect. We all have our individual struggles, there's always certain weaknesses, that we that we're going to have personal weaknesses. And so that's what we will look at today, you know, how can we help ourselves to overcome and get control over those certain personal weaknesses, inshallah. But first of all, you know, to put things into perspective, because what happens is, when you have a lot of bad habits, or you know, you have a lot of things that you're not happy with, you

00:03:07--> 00:03:48

tend to just, it doesn't help to just beat yourself down and feel totally guilty about it, because that's not really very productive to move forward, you've got to realize that that's just showing that you're human. But you have to realize that you do have within you ensure the ability to overcome, you know, to overcome those bad habits been in there but put things into perspective start off with and know that the prophets that allowed us and told us that, you know, kulu, Benny, Adam Hata, that every, every, you know, every son of Benny Adam, or every offspring of Benny, Adam, is, you know, has sins and makes mistakes, while hiatal haka, in at the were born, but the best of those

00:03:48--> 00:03:55

who make mistakes and do sins are those who turned to Allah Subhana Allah in repentance. Okay, so

00:03:56--> 00:04:38

in order to change the bad habits, we have, it's important for us to first of all understand what is the cause of bad habits in the first place, you know, what's the, what's the cause of these bad habits? So we have to realize that the reason behind a person you know, to have bad habits, it returns ultimately to a person's the state of one's naps. You know, it returns back to the nature of the naps itself. So you have to understand the way the naps works. If you understand the way the next works, then you can help yourself inshallah to get more control over your naps. All right. So, you have to realize that first of all, what is a lot to us, he tells us about the nature of the naps

00:04:38--> 00:04:59

in the Quran, he says in the nafsa let amalga tune be Sui Illa mellow hemara be that Verily, the naps inclines a person towards you know, towards evil except for the one who my lord have mercy upon him. So the nature of the next

00:05:00--> 00:05:43

Is that it always. It does incline you towards laziness. It inclines you towards procrastination. It inclines you towards, you know, following your, your lusts and desires. That's the nature of the next. Okay? So that's why we have to realize that if you just gave in to your next, your next does have those inclinations, right. But if you just get into into what your naps once and you follow whatever your naps once, then your naps will eventually take you into any type of disobedience and sin and it gets stronger over you as well as time goes by, you know, the more you give into it, the more easier it becomes to give in to those students as well. Okay, so that's why Allah warned us in

00:05:43--> 00:05:58

the Quran about following your neck. You don't just give in to it. You don't just do whatever your next, wherever your next you know, inclines you towards it, you got to go against it. You've got to learn to restrain it and do like Todd bitterness, you know, do like our

00:05:59--> 00:06:50

training on your nuts. You know what I mean? I'll come to that. But you know, a lot of Dallas is not grant lead said Debbie, how're you Billa cancer de la. Do not follow your Hauer For verily it will misguide you off the path of a law. Right? In alladhina. Yo below Nan de la de la home either been shady Don't be natural Yeoman, he said. So those who go straight off the straight path, then there is a painful punishment for them. Due to what they forgot about Yama. He said the day they'll be held to account. Okay, so yeah, we need to realize that the neck the natural state of the neck, as I said is inclines you towards since it inclines you towards laziness, to know procrastination. So

00:06:50--> 00:07:28

unless we try to control our necks and try to you know, act against it, not just go along with it. And this, we try to stop following our necks in everything it wants to incline us towards, then you'll find that you'll next we'll take you step by step into, you know, different types of seeing different types of disobedience. And you'll basically take you away from the possible law, if you let yourself go completely, it will just take you off the path of a lost pantalla altogether, until you and weapons because you just become completely desensitized. The more you follow your naps, the more you become desensitized to the hot on the more you become desensitized to the scene and it just

00:07:28--> 00:08:08

gets harder and harder to you know, to pick yourself back up away from it. All right. So we have to realize that a lot of aka Darla told us in the Quran, that there are two different types of people when it comes to this subject of the next. So the first are those who they gain control over the naps. And it's through constant therapy. I like don't think it just comes naturally. Everybody struggles with their naps. There's no person on the face of this earth except they struggle with their naps. Okay. So if you see somebody, you know, in control, it means they went through, they did discipline on themselves, like they've done discipline, you know, understand they've got themselves

00:08:08--> 00:08:49

used to things they've gone through some pain to gain, you can't gain without pain is true, nothing you can get in this life, or in the next life without some struggle, there's going to be struggle, okay, so these people, they have worked towards disciplining themselves, until they never got used to it. You know what I mean? Like they, they they with training with time, with with a lot of things, which I'm gonna talk about inshallah tell you how to do it yourself. But they got themselves used to it. And till then that's start to love that thing. Okay, because the neck, the neck doesn't love it in the beginning, but over time, it starts to love it, because it gets used to it. And so

00:08:49--> 00:09:28

then what happens is, and that's a base them when they want to do something that next obeys them, like, give an example quickly. So for example, in the beginning, if you first come to Islam, prayers are very hard for you. Or if you came back, you know, whether you reverted or you came back to Islam, you wanna start practicing Islam, who remembers when they first started trying to pray? Who remembers when I first started trying to pray? It was really hard, waking up for fudger you know, trying to pray five times a day was very hard. It's very even the hijab, you know, if you put the hijab on, it's hard first week to second week. It's hard, right? But then what happens is, you get

00:09:28--> 00:09:59

so used to it, you don't even feel comfortable if you miss the prey, you know what I mean? Like, you're that's because you're not assigned to your neck. got used to it, like with the jab, you know, in the beginning, you felt embarrassed. You felt like everyone's looking at you stuff like that. You know what I mean? But then you kind of imagine, you know, it would give you goosebumps and make your blood turn cold to think of someone seeing you that your job one you understand that's what happens because why what why did you get that reaction because your naps got used to that bar.

00:10:00--> 00:10:22

Your nest got used to that obedience and it tasted the sweetness of obeying Allah Subhana Allah. So once you get to that stage that the it becomes easy who thinks about once you've been wearing the jug for how many years? Who thinks about putting on hijab every morning? It's normal allowed to bracket Allah He described these people who've got controller then next by the F la Hannon zeca that the one who

00:10:23--> 00:11:07

got control of their naps is the one who was successful because they got control over their necks. Okay, so that's the first type of that's the first type of category of people and that's what we need to be inshallah aiming towards being like, then May Allah make it easy for us. Okay, that's missing mentioned in suits, assurance. The second type of people are those who their naps is in control of them. Like their their naps is controlling them. And the naps is leading them to, you know, whatever your knees sins and disobedience, and, you know, like and, and a lot tells us, what God the hub and then the Sangha, and that person who has failed is the one who, you know, they

00:11:07--> 00:11:39

became debased by their naps, like, your naps can, you know, as we can see, looking in society, how people become so debased by following their naps, that their lifestyle can become even lower than the death of animals, even animals could have more modesty than then some human beings. So panelizer shows you how low your nest can take you if you really want to just succumb to every you know, every desire that your naps would like to take you to write every carnal desire, let's say, Okay, so,

00:11:40--> 00:12:19

you know, what is a sign of being controlled by a nap? So, let's look for the red flags or the warning signs that you're allowing yourself to be controlled by your naps. An example of that is, you know, you know, something's hot, um, but you say to yourself, oh, but I've got a good heart. You know what I mean? Or, you know, like, um, I know it's held on but I can't stop doing it. So like, when you start giving yourself false justifications? Where's that coming from? It's coming from your neck, your neck is trying to reason with you to justify why it's okay for you to keep doing this. But Allah ordered you not to do it, or he told you to do it, but you're just justifying to yourself,

00:12:19--> 00:12:46

why it's okay. If you keep doing it. That's from your necks. That's speaking from your desires. It's not It's not what Allah said. It's not what the prophets that alarmism said right? Therefore, if it's not what Allah said, if it's not what the prophet said a lot of them said it means you follow that thought and that idea is coming from your next. Okay, so that's that's the that's the red the red flag or the warning sign that you're allowing yourself to be controlled by your neck in this particular area.

00:12:47--> 00:13:41

And allowed to bracket the islands to the Nez nezhat he says for mn and Baba, what are all higher dunya for nlgja Hema he or not, but as for the one who transgressed whatever all higher to dunya and they preferred the life of this world for in Ninja Hema he and Matt word and verily mela protect us to fire his his his abode. What an hoffa mapa Mara be he wanna hand up Sanyal Hawa in El Janata he will not wear that as to the one who feed standing in front of the Lord on Yom Okayama one Nanak Sanyal Hauer and they forbade their naps you know they forbade the naps from going to whatever it desired. For in a janitor here not well, that's your reward. That's your reward in your reward is

00:13:41--> 00:14:21

Jenna. That's how you get that reward of Jana. By restraining your naps. Nobody can enter Jannah except by restraining their naps. Isn't that true? How could anybody into genuine Australian naps because even just to pray five times a day you It means you have to restrain your naps. Okay, if you want to fast Ramadan, you have to restrain your naps. So what you know gives the cat you have to restrain your naps because your nap says Do you know I love my money. I don't want to give any of my money away. But you say I'm getting my Zakat because Allah ordered me to you know, purify my wealth through my cat. Okay, and also Hajj. You know, you say is about I love my family. I love I don't you

00:14:21--> 00:14:47

know, I don't want to get discomfort when I go to Hajj you know, I don't want to spend all this money $10,000 that's a lot of money to go for Hajj. So all of these things that's your next but you go against that and say but I want Jana I want Jana so I'm I'm ready to go against what my neffs is you know inclined inclining me towards because the price is Jana. Okay, the price is Jana. So, um

00:14:49--> 00:15:00

so you need to understand the main cause, like I said, the main cause, ultimately for why we fall into sin. Why we fall into laziness, why we fall into practice.

00:15:00--> 00:15:19

destination all of those things, it is the nap, the nature of the nap. So if you can understand that, first of all, and then that helps you realize why you do that. So you don't blame yourself, you know that Why am I always like that? Because that is our everybody is but now you got to learn how can you as a person, try to overcome that, okay, so

00:15:21--> 00:15:28

I'm going to go through some points inshallah to help us speed me less. So first of all, the first step, I'm going to give you some other steps after this too, but

00:15:29--> 00:15:52

one of the main things is that you have to make that decision that you want to change, okay, and I'll come to that minute, but you can't change everything. So don't overload yourself. But you know that there's a particular thing that's really annoying you about yourself, and you've got to make that conscious decision that you want to change it Because

00:15:53--> 00:16:10

ultimately, if your heart is not there, 100% sisters, you can go to as many coaching sessions as you want as many lessons as you want. But if your heart is not in it, nobody can make that change except you. Okay, so you know, you can go to as many like Tony Robbins,

00:16:11--> 00:16:50

you know, whatever, the seminars, but if your heart is not there, to start off with really wanting to make that change, nobody can do that. Except you do understand. That's the first thing. And then the second thing is, you have to also believe that you can change if you want to, you have to believe in the promise of Allah because Allah says what may you mean the law? He, yes, the filepath, who ever sincerely believes in a law and does and wants to do something with a class? If you've really got that sincerity to do it for Allah? Yes, do you find that Allah will guide their heart to it, a lot will guide your heart to it. So let me tell you that they suck, it is something you can't

00:16:50--> 00:17:16

change about yourself. The honest truth is, it's because you don't really want to change it about yourself. That's what it comes down to. You don't 100 you're not 100% in it. So you ask yourself, why? Why isn't your heart 100%? in it? What's causing you to be so attached to it? You understand this? What you got it? You got to do a bit of self analysis? Why am I so attached to this? Why can I give this up? Why can't I do this action? You know, what, what is it? And

00:17:17--> 00:17:52

another thing is, you know, to analyze, you know, it's very important that you do analyze it. Like most people, when they think about like, something they want to change, they they're very upset about it, they're very, they feel guilty about it. And so that guilt just makes them sit there. And you know, it's not very productive just to sit there and feel guilty about it. You know what I mean? Like, and beat yourself up? Why can't I change this about myself? You know what I mean? And you feel upset with yourself, why can't change, the best thing you can do is I like to have a look at have a look at it, step back and have a look at what you're doing. Why are you doing it? What is it maybe

00:17:52--> 00:18:30

there's something deep down, like maybe you've suffered trauma in your past. and due to that it's hard for you give up smoking, for example, some people they suffered trauma, and they've got a lot of stress. And so because of that they go to smoke cigarettes, like whenever they feel upset, they have to smoke. So you need to go back to the root cause How could you solve that problem of healing yourself from that trauma? Go back to the root cause of what's causing it, you know, and look at the triggers? What are the things that trigger you in the day? Like, what times the day do you find yourself doing this habit? And and who are the people you're hanging out with? At that time? You

00:18:30--> 00:19:14

understand, you got to have a look at analyze the whole thing and see, what is it that's making you actually fall into that? You know, like, but that's, that's, that's the first step and Okay, so you're gonna analyze it, and then you have a plan. So now, what you have to understand about the naps is you can't say to somebody, just give it up. It's very hard just to go cold turkey with anything. Okay, it's very hard to go cold turkey completely, like maybe that works for some people. But for a lot of people, it's very hard to just completely give up everything. Okay, so what the island I actually say is, the way you deal with your naps is the same way you deal with a baby. And

00:19:14--> 00:19:37

most of us are handed I've had experience with weaning babies. Okay, so what you do is you have to replace the habit, you can't just completely give up the habit, you have to think about how you're going to replace this habit with something that's a healthy habit or a beneficial habit or you know, something that is a halau habit rather than this heroin habit.

00:19:39--> 00:19:42

And that's how you will slowly wean yourself off.

00:19:43--> 00:19:46

And because when you start to get used to those good habits

00:19:48--> 00:20:00

so an example give you some examples of these, so just say cuz I've been through this myself, like when I came to them, I had lots of bad habits before I was Muslim, right? And I had to work out how to wean myself.

00:20:00--> 00:20:42

Have those bad habits so let's just say used to swear all the time. Okay? Say used to always use use swear words. So what you have to do is find another word, like you know you when you get angry, you know that the swear words fly. Okay, that's your trigger when you get angry, suddenly your tongue it just flies off. Alright that you know that's your trigger so what you have to do is what I handle are very righteous sister taught me was, like we said, we'll just say you're angry with your kids. You say Elia depot, like you let your anger get out, but just saying it with a very beneficial drop, you know, you're saying your Allah guide you, you know, now guide you, you know, like, golden rule

00:20:42--> 00:21:16

as some people never checked us they were like they they fall into cursing, stuff like that, I will be like, sorry, we don't know when our draw is going to be answered. And you do definitely don't want Allah to add. But the reality is, you don't want the Allah to enter those bad dogs make your kids you know, so you don't want to be making bad dogs for your kids ever. Because that's really the reality is if Allah did answer that door, imagine how much you're going to be grading that you made that door, you know me. So that's why you need to exchange you need to think about how you exchange this expression. Like I also like I'm telling all my witnesses, I get road rage, you know, like I

00:21:16--> 00:21:55

get so like, annoyed with people like when I'm in a rush to the lesson and someone's going on like tweets. So um, you know, one thing I learned very much is brother, he used to take his big family, he had a family of nine, you know, so to have a family of nine, you have had so much patience, and I used to watch him driving in Saudi Yo, if you think you have to be patient in Australia go driving Saudi. That's what you're gonna do. Like every time someone's annoying you in the road? Like how a la la la, la la la la la la la, la la, you know, but you know, how much have sonet are you getting? From an handmaking digable lolly that's a that's, that's a treasure from the trenches of Jana. So

00:21:55--> 00:22:22

instead of saying other words, which there's no benefit in it, maybe even get sins in it, right? How much better is it to replace it with a vicar of Allah, that you, you get rewarded for it? You know, same with the same stuff for the last stuff for the law, you know, something like that. So you're getting rewards, even though you're frustrated, okay. It's also reminding you to be more patient as well, when you're saying the last pantalla

00:22:23--> 00:22:43

another another thing that helped me I'm going to mention a few things. So hamdulillah like so for example, to be honest, before I was Muslim, I was so addicted to music. I was actually completely addicted to music. Like, I'm not joking. I used to, you know, memorize, excuse me all the words of the songs.

00:22:46--> 00:22:56

And actually, you know what, I'm telling you, it sounds funny now, but there was a time where, excuse me, there's a time where I had made up my mind I'm gonna become a singer. While

00:22:57--> 00:23:04

I'm not joking, and I actually started getting into it. And then a sister and my sister and a Girl.

00:23:07--> 00:23:23

Girl suggested to me she said to me, you know, come on, we're gonna do a recording together. I was at that stage, you know, I'm doing a recording together. And then some Muslims like I just become Muslim not long ago. And then someone told me, do you know that musics Haram in Islam? I'm like, What?

00:23:26--> 00:23:34

You know, like, that is such a big thing. How could you take this away from me? I love music. You know, music can't be Haram in Islam. You know what I mean? So like,

00:23:35--> 00:23:38

you know, it's because you've always been with it and you thinking

00:23:40--> 00:24:18

you know, I like oh my god, you know, music. So anyway, what happened was, once I knew it was Haram, because at first I'm like, in the beginning, you're be argumentative. No, music can't be Haram. Try look for some justifications, try to find some oil. And that has said it's helpful. But when it becomes clear to you that it's that it's hot, um, that's when I said, Alright, what am I going to do? How am I going to get off this music? Because I love it, you know, and at first I was sort of, well, I was kind of playing around with a bit you know, so for example, listen to my recordings. I had like some songs that it just you know, so I started off I remember listening to some songs that

00:24:18--> 00:24:24

didn't have the music at the background like you can get them. I kind of it's cold, huh?

00:24:25--> 00:24:26

Yeah, it's cold.

00:24:27--> 00:24:41

Yeah, forgotten all those words. Thank God, I forgot all those words. acapella. Yes. So it's just the song without the this is my rationalization. Oh, it's alright, I'll just listen to that, you know, that's, that's not bad. It's got no musical instruments in it, you know, um,

00:24:42--> 00:24:59

but then when I I realized that, you know, when you really deeply start to realize how much music is attaching you to dunya and how much he actually puts it actually puts a wall between you and Allah subhanaw taala like, because it makes you always focused on dunya like, your heart cannot get filled with the man while it's stuck to me.

00:25:00--> 00:25:16

So when you realize it's a barrier, so then I realized No, I have to get off these. So then what happened was what I used to do, because I always into music in the car, you know, so what I started doing was I used to listen to like Yusuf Islam, you know, all his, like all these nice sheets like someone gave me a

00:25:17--> 00:25:56

someone gave me like a tape of nasheeds you know, so I mean, you will remember this because like, unfortunately I'm way older than you but like, then what happened mean for the lady to Allah is I started my heart said to love the Quran so much. So I used to put the Quran on in my house, and I felt my heart is loving it so much Subhan Allah, and slowly, slowly, I said to learn the Quran. Until and Hamdulillah, I completely replaced music in my life with the Quran. And I'm not joking sisters, I'm not honestly not exaggerating to say to you that I cannot actually not stand to be in an environment with his music now, like I actually get a physical reaction, like I feel stressed, I

00:25:56--> 00:26:01

can feel the actual stress cutting my body from the music. So it has very negative,

00:26:02--> 00:26:28

you know, effect on me subpanel loss. So I'm just showing you that if you want to wean yourself off something, you've got to find what replaces it. And then when you're next gets used to that, that you think that you've replaced it with, it becomes something normal and sweet to your neck until you can't even stand that old thing anymore. You understand this, how this is how you do it. And it's not just it's this is an example. But this is the same thing with everything you're trying to change, okay.

00:26:30--> 00:26:37

So don't think it's gonna be easy to make those changes, you have to realize it's not easy to make life changes.

00:26:40--> 00:26:46

But, and you're gonna have to do a bit of effort, you have to put a bit of effort in. Right, but the thing is,

00:26:48--> 00:26:55

the thing is that when you put that effort in Allah pantalla, we hope you Allah, we hope you as long as you've got that intention, for the sake of Allah subhanaw taala.

00:26:57--> 00:27:25

Realize that it's going to be it's going to be hard in the beginning, everything starts off hard, but it becomes easier over time, and the more that you're persisting with it. And as a psychologist, psychologists have said that it takes at least about 21 days to develop a new habit. So once you've been if you can try and hold out, you know, for two or three weeks, practicing that new habit or you know, staying away from that, that thing for three weeks or so, you'll find that it becomes

00:27:26--> 00:27:57

easier. And it becomes it becomes normal, it'll become easier. But then after a while, it just becomes a normal way of life. Another example, I'll give another example for myself as well, before I mentioned, go through some specific points. Another example just came to my mind. I used to be so addicted to TV. I used to be so addicted to TV, like I would sit there from the morning, I'd watched like the I remember what shows they were anymore. Like, I don't know, any like talk show. And I just sit down and watch the next one, the next one next one. Because, you know,

00:27:59--> 00:28:15

and I just started realizing like it was when I met some very practicing sisters, I start realizing how much I'm wasting my life. You know, I'm wasting my life, like, look what they're doing. And I'm just sitting here watching the show one after the other What am I doing for my life, you know? So how I

00:28:16--> 00:28:55

overcame that was I realized the only way I can do this is by filling in my time consciously. You know, what I mean by that is making actual program for myself during the week. So that I would be at a certain pace on this day, I'd meet up with a sister on this day. Like for example, I have to go maybe I'm going to go and learn how to read the Quran on one day, I'm going to go listen another day. I you know, Jenna Stan, I'm going to visit a sister on this other day, I'm gonna have family day on another day. And so like I made my week full with activities. So I didn't have myself, I didn't have time for myself to go into those habits like because what is the main what is one of the

00:28:55--> 00:28:59

main reasons that we fall into bad habits? Often it's boredom.

00:29:01--> 00:29:23

It's often it's boredom. So you need to think about how you can fill your time in a more productive way. So that you're not falling into that and then even having a daily program, like I had to make a daily program for myself as well. What What am I going to do in the morning, you know, what I want to achieve each day? What am I What am I ultimate goals? And then, you know, what am I going to do each day to kind of be working towards that goal? You know, I mean?

00:29:26--> 00:29:33

Okay, I'm gonna inshallah just go through these points now of how we can work towards making these changes.

00:29:36--> 00:29:37

So first of all,

00:29:38--> 00:30:00

what you can do is just make a short list, not a long list because you don't want to self destruct. You know, you don't want to, you don't want to overload yourself by by picking it yourself. Because with women in particular, we can we can just pick ourselves to pieces, and it's not very beneficial. You know, like, you could just sit there and hate on yourself too much and that

00:30:00--> 00:30:30

not beneficial, okay, so you just have to think about, maybe just pinpoint one or two main things that you really need to change to become better. And especially with making Ramadan is your goal, like Ramadan is coming up. So what's something that I need to change about myself and try to make them identify God that by time Amazon comes, I'm gonna, I'm gonna have this new thing change about myself. Okay, so what are the main things I'd be focusing on. So the main things I'd be focusing on,

00:30:31--> 00:31:06

I like more major bad habits. An example of that is not paying praise on time. That's a major bad habit. Because it's not only a bad habit, it's even a major sin that we're constantly missing our prayers. So that would be my number one on my list. If that was my problem, you got to weigh up the importance of giving up the habit, how important is it to your life? Did you have that particular habit? Is it? Is it a major sin? Or is it something that well, it's not that great, but you know, well, I could live with it, it's not really impacting my life to that level, understand, so you're going to weigh up how important it is, you can't change everything about yourself, just try and

00:31:06--> 00:31:07

focus on the most important things.

00:31:11--> 00:31:51

Alright, the second thing is to purify your intention for the sake of a loss candidate is very important. Like, really, when it comes down to local thing before, you have to really, really want to change this about yourself, you really have to have that loss because honestly, if you're really convinced that you really want to make this change alone would help you make that change, and you'll be able to do it, you will be able to do it. As long as you're 100, your heart is 100%. In it, that's the most important thing, your heart has to be 100% in it. But Allah tells us there's no success except with a law momento fee. In labella. There is no success except with the help of a

00:31:51--> 00:32:13

lot. So that's why if you really want a powerful way of changing your habits, you should focus that in your diet. Like you should be making dua and asking a lot from the bottom of your heart to help you to overcome this bad habit. And another really powerful thing you can do as well when you make is to visualize yourself

00:32:14--> 00:32:57

as free from that habit that you're not doing that anymore. Like just say you're okay, so just go back to praise. Your habit used to be not paying pays on time you visualize yourself that you pray or your present time. And you feel how great is that feeling that of success in being able to pray your present time and your life feels in order because your prayers are on time. Right? So if you can visualize that and feel the happiness and sweetness of that it's going to help you to feel emotionally connected to wanting to reach that goal outside of your door. Okay, so try doing that in your center, try doing that in your door. It's a very powerful way of helping you to change

00:32:57--> 00:32:58

yourself.

00:33:06--> 00:33:16

And then the other thing is, you need to also ask Allah Allah for protection for protect from forbidden you know for protection from slipping back into those bad habits.

00:33:17--> 00:33:36

Alright, a third very important point is to concentrate on keeping your Eman strong, keeping your Eman strong is is very very important. Why because when your Eman is filled with nor This is a protection from the Shaitan trying to penetrate it because shaitan is always going to try to penetrate your heart that they should they should

00:33:37--> 00:34:14

they should talk hands power is only whispering in your heart occasionally whispering it inciting that desire but that's up to you whether you follow it so in your time of weakness when you're feeling depressed when you're feeling angry, the straight times gonna be there whispering or why don't you just pick up that cigarette that you gave up 20 years ago you know, drink that glass of alcohol whatever you know whatever that old thing that used to do, the shape time is going to be there at that weakness with bring but if you unit that we need to always be conscious of you know you have to be constant consciously nourishing your Eman so that your heart is filled with the light

00:34:14--> 00:34:21

of the man because the light of the man is what repels repels the attacks of shaitan from from coming to it.

00:34:22--> 00:34:56

And that leads us back to what we were talking about. We've been talking about over the last few weeks. You know like so being stuck upon Vicar of Allah, you know saying your cause of the mornings and evenings always being with the Quran reciting the Quran revising the Quran, memorizing the Quran, all of those things. Help you nourish your Eman, of course your prayers without doubt, you know, which we talked about last week. But you've got to consciously be nourishing your Eman you're coming to lessons as well obviously that's gonna uplift your MA in so many ways. So you gotta be you got to be you've got to make that conscious decision that I need to keep nourishing my man How am I

00:34:56--> 00:35:00

going to do that? You have to look for the look for the aspect. Look for the money.

00:35:00--> 00:35:06

to continually do that, because that's what prevents the weakness. Okay? Then

00:35:08--> 00:35:41

a fourth point is to remind yourself of the reality of this life, and how precious your time in this world is, reminders of how precious time in this world is. Because every moment every hour that passes away, that's part of your life passing away, that's part of your life passing away, and you can't get that back. Once that that hour has gone, it's gone for good. And you don't find it until you meet with the last pantile. And you see your Book of Records, either for you or against you. So,

00:35:42--> 00:36:21

you know, the greatest causes why I'm saying to remember, remember how short life is always is because one of the greatest causes for people to waste their life and to follow their naps into you know, into all kinds of different sins and and fitna and desires. What is the main reason? procrastination? Thinking that I've still got plenty of time to live? It's okay. You know, I've still got, you know, years ahead of me to worry about making Toba and, you know, I can do hygiene, another 10 years or something like that. And just to tell before all this, you know, but we have to realize, you know, you have to realize that,

00:36:22--> 00:36:58

first of all, first of all, that we will know, death can come at every moment, any moment, death can come to any of us. And you got to think about how is that tried to get in touch with the pain of regret, the pain of regret that you would feel, knowing that you didn't make that try to make that change, at least take the steps towards making that change, to meet a lot depends on not having at least made the steps towards making that positive change? How would that how would that regret feel to you, if you can tap into that, that's a powerful emotion that can help you to want to really make that everlasting change inshallah So,

00:37:00--> 00:37:10

but always remind yourself that no matter how long this life is, life is very, very short. No matter how long you live, life is very, very short. And

00:37:12--> 00:37:39

and at the end end of the day, it's not about how long you live, it's about what you do with your life. It's about the quality of your life. So like I said, you got to think about, you're the one who has to face a loss of hands on your Maki ama, with what you've done in this life. And you want to feel a certain satisfaction that at least you did certain things for yourself, you know what I mean? Because it's better to have that worry about it now than to face the regret on your piano that you didn't try to make those changes.

00:37:42--> 00:38:07

You know, I'm delighted Mr. boddy Allahu anhu. He said, I did not regret anything more than a day in which the sun went down. And my time was decreased from my life, but my deeds did not increase in it. Like you look at the sunset every day, ask yourself when you see the sunset, what have I done for myself with this date? You know, that's why the Santa Fe used to reflect on everything.

00:38:08--> 00:38:34

wasn't just looking at the beautiful sunset, they used to look at the sunset and they used to say, What am I actually done for my ephemera in this day? Have I done at least some good deeds, something to help me on your piano in this day, something that's helped me move forward. Right. So this is how much they used to reflect on their time, the worst, it's sad to think that a whole day has gone from your life, you see a sunset and you haven't done anything to increase your good deeds in it. Or maybe you've just filled that day with sin. Mail protect us from that.

00:38:36--> 00:38:39

Alright, so this leads me to another point

00:38:40--> 00:38:51

which can help you too. And it really can help in overcoming bad habits. And that is, you need to keep yourself busy. You need to keep keep yourself busy.

00:38:54--> 00:39:34

With beneficial things. You need to keep yourself busy, but it's beneficial to live a productive life, living a productive life is what will help you to stay away from bad habits because like I was saying before, what is the main reason majority of the reason for falling into bad habits is boredom. So if you can fill your life with productive activities, you know, like so you have a time for exercise, you have a time for studying your dean, you have a time for memorizing Quran, you have a time for going to classes, you have time for visiting your family, you understand a time for going out and you know, enjoying the creation of last pantalla. So you've got to have balance in your

00:39:34--> 00:39:49

life. And when you when you have, you know, a planned out life. This is what helps you from not from not falling into when you're so busy with all these beneficial activities, right? You don't have time to go back into those old bad habits that you used to be stuck to.

00:39:51--> 00:40:00

So when you keep your neck busy with a bad that we've worship acts of worship, or with, you know, permissible being

00:40:00--> 00:40:39

beneficial things, that's one of the greatest ways of helping yourself not to fall into those bad habits. Another one is, another one is staying in good company. Because, you know, as they say, you are basically the product of the five people you spend the most time with. So, have a look at who you're hanging around with, who are the ones you use only the most. Because they, you know, you're basically you know, they have an impact on you. You know, so that's why it is very beneficial for you, like, one of the best ways to find good company is actually by coming to listen, because you start making friends with people at the listen. Like, I have lots of sisters in my classes, you

00:40:39--> 00:41:16

know, they told me that before you know, like before this all kinds of classes, they didn't they used to have friends that weren't really good influences on them. But then they started coming to our classes they met a whole you know, new set of really nice sisters very kind and nice sisters and you know, they stuck to their Deen, they're struggling, they're trying you know, and so they became the new friends they became like their new set of friends not to say they did completely discarded those old friends, but just that they had a better company that you know, help pick them up more you don't mean and help them feel encouraged to want to be better not like the friends that when you're

00:41:16--> 00:42:06

around them they dragging you backwards and taking you back to your old ways. So it's very important that you do get yourself in good company. You can't stress that enough because we're all weak by ourselves. We are weak by ourselves. That's why a lot about the dollar if you read through last, what does he say? He says while us in alien Santa Luffy who by time very early mankind is in in loss Illa Latina M and y means slowly Hattie except those who believe in do righteous deeds whatsoever. So Bill helped me with sob sob. And they together cooperated in the truth and they together cooperated in being patient. So you notice he didn't say by themselves, that they tried to be upon

00:42:06--> 00:42:33

the truth. And by themselves I tried to be upon patience, because it's very hard to remain upon the truth and to remain patient or by yourself. So that's an encouragement for the gym, to stick with the gym out of the Muslims you know, be in the good company. That's what helps you to be strong inshallah your strength is through staying with the good company. And that's why the profits that alone isn't even told us and model Allah Dini Helene e

00:42:34--> 00:42:46

sallyann boodle I had to come may you Holly you like that a person will be upon the Dean of his close friends, you will be upon the Dean of your close friend.

00:42:48--> 00:43:00

So, therefore, therefore, look him up friends. Look at who you surround yourself with, look at the company that you want to be with, because that's gonna have an impact on you.

00:43:01--> 00:43:22

And even Mr. radi Allahu anhu he said, there's three things. There's three things who ever has then Allah will fill their heart with inand. Allah will fill their heart with Eman What are those three things, the company of the knowledgeable. So you tried to stay in the company of the knowledgeable

00:43:23--> 00:43:48

and there was a taste of the Quran and fasting. If you get stuck to those things, your heart will be filled with the man they are like repellents and like I see But what happens when what happens when we feed our heart with the man you're it's like a repellent for desires. And it's a repellent from desires are repellent from Shea dine, trying to penetrate into our heart, okay, because you've got the nervy man in your heart in light in enlightening your heart.

00:43:54--> 00:44:27

The other thing about good friends, having good companies saying good company and, and choosing good friends is that, like your friends always have good characteristics. Like if you have good friends, there's always something your friend has that you don't have, maybe they're more generous than you, for example, maybe they're more caring that, you know, they're more like, they want to help others stuff like that. And you don't have that. But when you're around that company, you start thinking yeah, you know what I could I should be more helpful, I should be more caring about others, I should be more generous, you know, I should be more kind. And so your good friends help you to improve

00:44:27--> 00:44:59

yourself and develop yourself. And, you know, also when you're with good friends, like you, you're gonna feel embarrassed to sort of like, I'm sure that none of you here even if you sweat outside, I bet none of you I guarantee none of you are going to sit here and say an effort right now in the class. Right? You're not going to feel right about that. Right? And that's the thing like so it shows you that there's a certain amount of you could even quote peer pressure. You know, when you're in a good company that you know, gonna sit in front of a chef like a chef is in front of you, you're not gonna start talking the way you talk like so that shows you that company does

00:45:00--> 00:45:12

have a big impact on the way you behave. So if you're always in good company, after a while you get used to that new way, you know, it's very hard for you to go back to like talking that rubbish way that used to speak. Okay.

00:45:14--> 00:45:19

So that's why having good friends, it does have a very good and positive impact on you.

00:45:20--> 00:45:20

And,

00:45:22--> 00:46:07

and also, obviously, you've got to analyze that if there are particular friends or particular environments that are unhelpful to you. Like, if you know that meeting up with that friend at Gloria jeans at 10 o'clock on Thursdays is gonna make you smoke, then you need to think about something else to do. The thing, which you have to realize is that even when you're going well, you're gonna have bad days. Okay, nobody is perfect. Nobody just gives up a bad habit. And that's the end of it. And they just completely leave it just like that, usually, usually, you're gonna have some stumbling times, you know, we're gonna fall down, and you're gonna fall back into it, like the old thing used

00:46:07--> 00:46:41

to do, but what you've got to do is you got to first of all, stick to, you know, I still thought saying stuff for the law, you know, and then realize you're a human being, that's normal to sometimes trip up. And then basically the same what used to do when used to when you were learning how to ride a bike, when you first used to learn how to ride a bike used to fall off, would you used to do used to pick yourself back up, and get back on and go, and it's the same thing, you got to do the same thing with this. Like, you've got to basically say stuff for the law, your law, forgive me, and then pick yourself back up

00:46:42--> 00:47:15

and refocus on your goal. Why you want to change why why what were your initial reasons for why you want to do to do to get somewhere and then go back to it like, you know, you might have one bad day doesn't mean that tomorrow has to be another bad day. Just because you had one bad day doesn't mean the next day has to be a bad day. Okay, so you have that day. All right. I had a bad day, I stopped for a lie had a bad day. But you know what, I can change tomorrow. I don't have to be the same tomorrow. Just because I stuffed up to date. That's what you got to always say to yourself. Alright. So

00:47:16--> 00:47:18

I want to finish by giving you a

00:47:20--> 00:47:24

a nice way that you can say, to help yourself, reform your naps.

00:47:26--> 00:47:35

It's a drive to profits that are lower than I'm used to say. A one that ad t nuptse taqwa. O Allah, give my neffs dakwah.

00:47:37--> 00:48:02

Fuel my heart, you know, fuel, you know, make my heart neck make my nuts. You know, with duck walk with a fear of loss Pandora was that key here? And to hire Roman zeca and purify my naps, purify my mess? My naps because you are the one who has the ability to purify it. Right? You are the one who has the ability to pure purify my naps. And so what do you have? When

00:48:03--> 00:48:42

you are the owner of my naps? You are the control of my naps. Ultimately, Allah is the owner of our naps. You know what I mean? And he can control it, like he can help us control it, you understand? So you can you know, even the prophets that Alison was saying this dry, and yet he had the most control over his naps. Nobody had more control over the naps than the prophet SAW is that and look how much he's to stand in prayers during the night. And so his feet even are getting cracked and swollen. So the La Jolla set up Do you know how much control of your naps you'd have to have to be able to reach that level? Can you imagine how much control of your neck you would have to have to

00:48:42--> 00:48:54

reach that level? in in in waking up at night and doing all that kind of light and even more than he used to do? So long as I'm so so that's why you know, saying this drop can help us.

00:48:55--> 00:48:59

But anyway, in finishing up my DC stuff.

00:49:01--> 00:49:45

I just want to make do out for all of us. I asked a lot of Allah to help us to purify our naps, I asked Allahu taala to give us a taqwa and to protect ourselves from the punishment of the jahannam will only be led by by having control by disciplining our naps and working towards disciplining our naps and getting control over our naps. I asked a level to Allah to make us from those who purify their naps, and make us from those who get control over their naps and make their necks like a bathe in, in the obedience of Allah subhanaw taala I asked a lawful to Allah to make us from those who will follow the prophets of Allah while he was selling into Jenna, and to unite us and gather us

00:49:45--> 00:50:00

with the most pious, who ever walked upon the face of this earth, from the Prophet sallallahu wasallam and all of the messengers and prophets, and the CDP, and the Shahada and the solly Hien. I asked him

00:50:00--> 00:50:25

level data to feel our hearts with the love for the Quran and the love for our prayers and the love for remembering our law day and night. And I asked a lot of Allah to make us have hatred for all types of sins and all types of obedience and help us to overcome our weaknesses was settled law Allahu wa sallam with baddeck Island a beginner Mohammed alayhi salatu was Salam.

00:50:26--> 00:50:38

While Kudo od Heather was thoughtful Lee Welcome stouffville Allahu Li walakum was upon a koloff more will be handig National La Ilaha Illa and nestopia Luca wanna jubu like