The Muslim Family #27 – The Challenge of Raising Children

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Tim Humble

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leeuw Alhamdulillah europian alameen wa Salatu was Salam ala Abdullah he was holy Nabina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi edge mine Assalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. As always, we begin with the praise of Allah azza wa jal, we ask Allah azza wa jal to exalt dimension and grand peace to our messenger Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam to his family and his companions. Welcome to another episode from the Muslim family. This short course brought to you by and madrasa to Romania.

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We still talking about our children, and we're talking about our children as a test and a responsibility.

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And the next idea that I want to speak to you about is an ayah. In Surah Taha Boone is number 14.

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Allah azza wa jal said, Yeah, you Hi Latina woman in naming as word you can, what do I do when they come? Through? My entire foo? What Oscar who whatever funeral for Enola have a photo right?

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Similar to turabian is number 14. a lot. So Jill said all you who believe and remember, we've established this principle in many different lectures, that whenever you hear the words, yeah, you are letting me know, this is something which is very important. It is something being addressed to you as a Muslim. And Allah subhanaw taala is giving you a command a prohibition, or something, which is a vital piece of information for you. And that's Allah subhanaw taala is calling you. Yeah. Are you Hi Latina, or you who believe in an S word youcome. What do I do when,

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indeed, among your wives, and your children are enemies to you find out all home, so be careful of them.

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Now, here, we've spoken about our children, as a gift. We've spoken about our children, as a test from Allah subhanaw taala. We've spoken about the nearmap the blessing of having children. So how could it be that Allah subhanaw taala describes among our children and our wives, enemies, and he uses the word I do an enemy? How could that be? I want you to have a think about that. Because maybe the first answer that comes to your mind initially, might not be the only way of looking at the eye or might not be the only answer that is that is put forward by the people of knowledge and the scholars of Islam. So have a think about it. We've talked about how children are a blessing, a gift,

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a test, also a responsibility, as sooner from the sunon of that of the Prophet alayhi wa Salatu was Salam. So how could allies which will describe them as? How could it be that Allah subhanaw taala described them as I do as an enemy to you, even though no doubt allies, which I said in a min as well as you can among your wives and among your children? There are enemies to you have a think about that one, pause the video, have a discuss, or have a discussion with those who are around you who might be watching with you in Sharla, and see if you can come up with an answer.

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So inshallah Allah you had a chance to think about that. Pause the video, have a think, here. It's not so much that it's talking about a child who is really, really bad, or someone who is plotting against you or seeking to harm you. We're not necessarily talking about the situation that happened with Yusuf and his brothers at a salon. And what happened with them seeking to harm him like they were enemies to him. Rather, this idea is more general than that. And to understand this idea, we have to ask ourselves, what is an enemy? In reality? What's an enemy? And I remember Saturday, Rahim Allah to Allah and among others among the scholars of Islam, they mentioned that the enemy is the

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one you redo. He wants for you a sharp, he wants something bad. He desires something for you, which is bad. He desires something or wants something for you, which is bad, and reality. The reality of the situation is that there are many times when our wives and our children

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Once things and those things in the sight of Allah azza wa jal are not good for us.

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So really, this ayah is not talking about them as plotting against you and hating you, and seeking to bring about your ruin and your destruction, as much as he's talking about the fact that if you were to take on board, every suggestion that was given to you by your wives and your children, and you were to follow every wish that they had, among those wishes, and those desires would be things that are bad for you. And so they become like, the enemy, like in the position of the enemy, in the sense that they actually telling you and encouraging you and directing you towards something which is not good for you. Of course, the enemy is plotting and planning and doing it deliberately. But

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here, it might even be inadvertent, it might even be something that isn't conscious and deliberate. But when you look at the situation in its true, in the true reality of it, what you see is, you see that what they're actually asking you to do, and what they're actually calling you to do and inviting you to do and directing you towards is something which is bad for you. And something which is a shadow, it's bad, and it's evil, and it's going to bring something negative upon you.

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And I brought this particularly for a couple of reasons, this ayah. First of all, it gives us that different aspect, but also it's part of the test and the trial of our children. Part of the test and the child trial of our children, is that sometimes we will be tested by our children, pressuring our children seeking something which is not good for them. And it's not good for you. And one of the tests and the trials is to take that responsibility to be able to resist that pressure when it comes at times and to direct it in the right way, and to respond in the right way. And here, what shows you in the eye, that the word enemy here is not necessarily the enemy that seeks your destruction?

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Is the statement of Allah entire for what us for who what have you, if you pardon?

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If you pardon?

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What was Pharaoh and you let things go? Whatever Pharaoh and you forgive you pardon, and you overlook, you treat them well and you forgive them Allah is a call for a right. And this is a great reward that Allah subhanaw taala promises that people who behave in this way. So he Allah subhanaw taala didn't speak about them in the second part of the ayah like that I do Who is the one who is plotting against you and seeking your destruction? Because Allah subhanaw taala spoke about that kind of enemy elsewhere. Elsewhere in the Quran. So for example, if we look at the statement of Eliza gel, for many it alikoum ferriter, to LA Hebei with limited sort of Baccarat, that whoever

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transgressors against you your enemy, then respond back to them transgress against them the same way that they did to you. So here this is completely different. So for example, it's sort of to Bukhara Eliza gel said furminator de la competitor to LA Hebei Mifflin Matata, LA, whoever transgressors against you then transgress back against them in the same way that they transgressed against you. So this is talking about the the enemy that is a typical enemy. But here a Lost Planet, Allah is talking about something very subtle, because the response What is it, to forgive, to pardon, to overlook, to let it go to have mercy upon them. So So Pamela, here is definitely a different kind of

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emnity is a kind of inadvertent emnity. And it tells us a lot about the responsibility of a parent towards their children, that we can't be as parents, just allowing everything that our children want. Because ultimately, they are going to be some things among those things that our children, one that are bad for us and bad for them. And sometimes our children might put that kind of pressure. And really, this is a, in a way, it's kind of a natural thing that maybe not necessarily from the good natural things, but how children learn to sort of manipulate their parents and how they learn to sort of try and push their parents to get what they want. and in this situation, they could be

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in the position of the enemy, in the sense that what they're actually asking you for and what they actually call inform what they actually trying to get from you is a shot something which is bad. And so part of your responsibility is to resist that. But you don't resist it the way that you resist the enemy that comes to you with a sword. Instead you resist it with an apple by pardoning with a soft by letting things go and by having better manners with them.

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Then the way that they might have with you, and by forgiveness and by forgiving and overlooking and if you do that, and you manage the situation of the fact that there can be these things that crop up between us and our children between us and our spouses, then the reward is the forgiveness and the mercy of Allah in Allah or fall on Rahim, Allah azza wa jal is for Allah spontaneous off forgiving a loss. panatela is Rahim Allah subhanaw taala is merciful. So here, what we take from this ayah is that part of the test and the trial that we have, and part of the responsibility that we have to have with regard to our children, is that we have to put Allah azzawajal and put Islam first. And we

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have to make sure that we filter our relationship with them and the requests that they make and the things that they want. We filter that through the lens of Al Islam. And what Islam says is good, what Islam tells us is not good for us, and that we take that responsibility to shepherd our children through these kind of requests in the kind of things that they might want to do. And we guide them towards what is good by the permission of Allah azza wa jal, and whenever there are difficulties between us that we struggle in that, then our principle is to pardon to overlook to forgive what we stand our ground in terms of what Islam told us and in terms of what Islam taught

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us. And the reward for that is the forgiveness of Allah and the mercy of allies.

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And allies which have told us in Santa Monica, porn is number nine. Yeah, you have Latina, M and hula to come and welcome Allah, Allah to come and victory LA, Mama, Yes, Daddy katha hula, hula 00 you believe, do not allow your wealth and your children to distract you from the remembrance of Allah. And whoever does that, then they will be the losers. Now to really understand this, and in this is part of understanding our children as a test and a trial. And a responsibility is really you need to understand what the word total hichem what it means, really, because the scholars they mentioned this, in her, it is initially all alcohol is for the heart to become distracted.

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It's for the heart, and that, generally speaking the word, a level

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from which this word comes, it refers to a destruction of the heart. Don't allow your heart to become distracted, by your wealth by your children, and allow those things to remove or to distract you or take you away from the remembrance of Allah and whoever does this, then they are the losers.

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This shows us that our children, we love our children a great deal, and our children have a very special place in our heart. But it's very important that we don't allow that to cause us to compromise as it relates to our religion. And as it relates to the remembrance of Allah, and the obligations that ally soldier has established upon us. And we don't allow ourselves to become distracted by that. And as we mentioned before, how many people actually compromise on their religion, because of their children, or because of a spouse, and they allow themselves to become busy and preoccupied by those things, instead of the remembrance of allies. And the beautiful thing

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is that because we've taught, and we've mentioned that, the about that children are a Sunnah from the Son and of the MBA, that it's perfectly possible to have to be a great parent, to have a great relationship with your children, to get near to Allah azza wa jal, and for your children to be a reason to help you to get near to Allah.

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That's perfectly possible. Because the prophets, Allah wa Salatu, Salam gave us the example of how to do that. But there's also a danger here. And this is just like these two, as we've mentioned, the iron sword attack Goblin and the iron circle, mafia cone, both of them tell us the danger, the danger that can be there in our children, if we don't take this test and responsibility seriously, that one, they could be in the position of an enemy to us. They could be in a situation where actually, what they're actually calling us to and pushing us towards is something which is which is bad for us. And likewise, there could be a reason for our hearts to become preoccupied away from the

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remembrance of Allah as the origin. And likewise, the wealth that is mentioned in the eye how many people leave the remembrance of Allah from the Salah, or from any of the other obligations that Allah has established? And they leave it because of their work? I'm working, I can't pray or I'm busy. I can't pray

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My business as you know, is calling me and I can't pray. Same thing that happens in our wealth is the same thing that can happen with your children, that you compromise in some way that takes you away from the remembrance of Allah azza wa jal and if you do this, then you've truly lost. So we want our children instead, to be a means to help us in the remembrance of Allah. And we had alluded to this in the ayah in which are lies, which has said we're Latina men or whatever at home zariya, to whom the man in and how can I be him Koreatown I, in which allies which are sending sort of taught, those who believe, and their offspring follow them in Eman, we cause their offspring to be

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able to join them to join them in paradise. And so Paula, that's a beautiful example of how the children could be a reason to help you to remember a law and a reason to help you to be among the people of gender. And that's part of a test right? There are great rewards in doing it, right. And there are also great dangers in doing it wrong. So this ayah tells us about not allowing your heart to become preoccupied and I think that's really profound because it's not talking necessarily about your body becoming preoccupied. And that's, that's the word he has very specific. Because it's true, you could become physically preoccupied, like we say the person who's working and running around

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doing a job and says I you know, I can't go to the memory of physically preoccupied, but much greater danger is for your heart to become preoccupied. That actually the problem is not physically you being being busy and preoccupied and and running around. But the problem is that your heart, it's pre it's, it's making your heart busy from the remembrance of Allah azza wa jal. So this is something that we have to be very careful of if you want to pass this test, as relating or as it relates to our children. And this responsibility is also alluded to in a hadith of Abdullah Ahmad. And we are mentioned this Heidi's already an indivisible of Hollywood cinema and the whole call ella

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kulu. Camera in worku. lucam Miss ulaan anre Yeti, indeed all of you are shepherds and all of you will be asked about your flock amuro a lady Allah Nasir are in wahoo Emma's all on Android at what rajpura in an early beta, he was all on on home, Wilma to Aria tune IBT ballyhale well, where did he where he Ms. koolatron home? Will Abdul are in Atlanta and he said, Ed, you are homeschooling and an African look more in work will look homeschooling Owen and rocky yet in Hades in Bukhari and Muslim.

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That indeed, all of you are shepherds, and all of you will be asked about your flop. And both the man and the woman here, we've mentioned this howdy before, probably more than once in this course already, at least once you mentioned it before. But here I want to focus on the fact that both of the two parents, their children are included in their responsibility. And that's why the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam told us that the man is a shepherd. And he will be asked about he's a shepherd over LGBT, that people have his household, all of the people in his household, his wife, his children, and anyone else that shares his household with him, whether it might be Pat, for

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example, a servant or whatever it might be. So ultimately, a man is responsible for the people in his household, and the word responsible hear the word miss all and we see in Arabic, we talk about a miss Walia responsibility, it means to be questioned, because that's ultimately what it what the meaning of the word responsible is, that you will be held responsible, a man will be held responsible, he will be asked the question by Allah azza wa jal about the members of his household, including his children, and then even the wife. And you might think that because the husband is like in the position of the head of the household, that perhaps the wife is absolved of his

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responsibility, and perhaps she won't be asked about this responsibility, perhaps it will all be upon the husband. But the Prophet slicin said that a woman is a shepherd. And she's a shepherd over the house of her husband and his children. Well, well as he all of his children

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that are in that house, she is responsible for those children. And so that means that this responsibility is upon both of the parents. And it's a mess already a meaning that the parent will be asked about it and questioned about it by Allah subhanaw taala, and they will have to prepare an answer for that question. Think about how you're going to answer that Masuda, that responsibility, and that allies which is going to hold you responsible for that.

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Now, here, it's really important to note a point which is I believe, it's very important

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Which is that you won't be asked about the ultimate result or the end result, the argument of what happened to your children, because that's not in your hands guidance and misguidance in the hands of Eliza widget, but you will be asked about what you did for your personal responsibility, your own responsibility that you were commanded to fulfill, as for the result of whether that responsibility ended up in that child being guided, and being, you know, upon the straight path, and being from the people of gender, and this is not in your hands, but what is in your hands is discharging and fulfilling that responsibility that you had to the best of your ability. And whatever happened to

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your child, whether they went upon the straight path, or whether they deviated you continued to discharge your responsibilities in the way that Allah subhanaw taala commanded you to do. So ultimately, it's not that you'll be asked about

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the end result of what happened to those children. But you'll be asked about how you behaved and how you responded to the challenges and the difficulties and the tests that came along with regard to your children and whether you discharge that responsibility properly and effectively or not. Even more scary than that, is a Hadeeth which is narrated from obey to lie in his yard that he visited mapping in yourself and most any, probably Allah when he modeled the he led Murphy in the sickness in which he died. I went Markel when you saw Viola when he was sick in the sickness which he ultimately died from. Carla Markel in the Mojave suka, Hades, Ethan Markel, he said, I'm going to

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tell you a Heidi similar to a woman Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam lo aalim to en le hyah Maha desktop.

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He said, I'm going to tell you about Heidi, that I heard from the Messenger of Allah sallallahu wasallam. And if I knew that I was going to live longer, I wouldn't have told you this. Heidi

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is telling this Heidi because he fears that he's going to pass away, and that he might not have discharged his responsibility in conveying this hadith to the people. So when he felt that his death was approaching, he said, I'm going to tell you a Heidi they heard it's a miracle who I heard it from the messenger of a loss of law while he was in them.

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And if it wasn't that I thought that I was going to die I wouldn't have told you this hadith. He said in the cemetery told us all a lie Salalah while he was sending me a call, I heard the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam see me ma'am in abdeen yesterday, he left who right here? Yeah moved to yo maya moto Hua, Hua Shan lira, Yeti Illa Howe Rama La La Hill Jenna Hadith in Bukhari and Muslim. He said there is no servant

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who Allah gave irresponsibility to.

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And he dies and the day that he dies he betrayed he was in a state of betraying that responsibility he was he wasn't fulfilling that responsibility in their heart Ramallah agenda except a lower make gender haram for him.

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There is no person who is given a responsibility By Allah, and he's given people to look over to be responsible for he has people under his responsibility. And on the day he dies, he is in a state of betraying them in that responsibility. And he's not fulfilling that responsibility in the way that a lie commanded. Allah will make gender harm for him. So panela this hadith is from the most from among that that Hadith that put fear into your heart when it comes to the issue of responsibility towards your children, the your children, ultimately they are within your they are within your flock, your Shepherd, your Shepherd, Allah in lF aku, kumaran workqueue locum, meserole on Amrita

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indeed all of you are shepherds and all of you will be asked about your flock. And here even though this hadith is often mentioned, under the topic of the Amir,

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the governor of the Muslims or the ruler of the Muslims, in reality, this hadith applies to every one who the Prophet described them as raw, a shepherd. So that includes the Emir, Lady Elena's the Emir that is responsible for the people. It includes the man towards his household. It includes the woman towards her husband's household and his children. And it includes the slave towards his masters property, because all of those the prophets, I think, described them as far as a shepherd. And here it says that any person who alive gave that flock to give that responsibility to

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The day that they die, they are in a state of betraying the people that they are responsible for how to Ramallah agenda, Allah makes gender haram for them.

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So this is the danger of failing in this test towards our children, that how can a person take it lightly and take or not take it to be a big responsibility and not see it to be such a big test and a trial, that this is the danger of failing as it relates to failing in your responsibilities towards the people that Allah has placed, has placed you in authority over them. So for example, the man as it relates to his household as it relates to his wife as it relates to his children, and that you know, we talked about this as relates to marriage. You know, when we said about the issue that yes, a man has rights Yes, a man has a woman and authority. Look at the danger if he doesn't

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fulfilling Haram. Allahu Allahu Allah makes gender haram for him. The woman, she has responsibility over her children, her children have to obey her. We talked about the importance of or we inshallah to Allah we can go into more detail later on about this, the issue of the relationship and the rights of the parents over the children and the right of the parents, to for their children to obey them. But look at the danger if you don't fulfill that responsibility properly. However, on the law, it gender law mix gender harm for that individual. And in our next Hadeeth we're going to see that this is not just a danger for the parents this responsibility, but it's also a danger for the

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children as well. There is a hadith narrated by Abu hurayrah and they'll cannae or call or Carlos all lies, Allahu Allah Salah mermin mole Odin Illa, Allah to Allah, for Allah wa who you help with any Oh, you wanna see Ronnie? He Oh, you mentioned Sandy. Can I tune tegile Mahima to behemoth and Gemma held to a Sona v Herman Jeddah,

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IV hora. He narrated from the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that he said, there is no child except that child is born in a natural state in the state of Utah. But it's the parents that turn them into a Jew, or a Christian, or a median, like the animal that promises and give the example of the animal from among the cattle, the behemoth and it gives when it gives birth to an animal. And this is to understand this, you have to understand what they did in the time of Jay Lee, pre Islamic times, they used to mock or brand cut the ears of the cattle and this was a part of their, the polytheistic beliefs they had. And the prophets I some asked when the cattle is born is

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it born like that? It's not born like that the cattle is born without that floor without that deficiency in it, and without that belief attached to it. But it's the people that cut the ears of the cattle. It's those people who had that those polytheistic beliefs, they are the ones who cut the ears of the cattle. Likewise, the child is born pure. The child is born upon a state of natural inclination to worship Allah. But look at what the parents can push the child towards that push the child towards becoming a Jew or a Christian or any other religion. And so ultimately, it's not just the responsibility is not just a responsibility for the parent. It's also a responsibility towards

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the child and what that child is brought up upon. And know that everyone will have the opportunity to Las panatela what I offered him or a book a holiday, your Lord doesn't oppress anyone, everyone has the opportunity to turn towards Islam and to accept the message. But Subhana Allah, look at what did the parent how the parent can start their child in life, or the danger that the parent can have for their child. The parent can either take their child towards Islam and give their child a great start, and an opportunity to grow up in Islam. The child or the parent takes their child away from Islam to some other different kind of religion. So the danger is not just a responsibility that

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affects the parent and the parent not getting into gender, but it also affects the child as well. And that's all we have time for in this episode. And ally switcher knows best was Salatu was Salam ala nabina Muhammad, while early he was so happy ajmeri

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salaam alaikum. If you're enjoying these videos, and you'd like to keep up to date with all of the courses we're going to be running, make sure you head over to a m au add home.com